* Posts by Darren Barratt

163 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Aug 2008

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Doctor Who girl Amy Pond axed in 'heartbreaking' exit

Darren Barratt
Meh

Vile disent

Whilst Karen Gillan provided some decent eye candy, the girl can't act for toffee. When she started on the series she only had 2 expresions, "goggle" and "pout". In the second series, these were joined by "goggle and pout".

Apple stores getting close to overload

Darren Barratt
Devil

Well, Scotland will have to bite the bullet and admit that electricity isn't actually witchcraft.

IDC: Google needs DEEP tablet price slash to crack Apple

Darren Barratt
Meh

Works for Windows

They've looked at the pattern for laptop sales. Windows laptops aren't as slick or as pretty looking as Macbooks, but sell many more because of the price difference.

You can see from the lack of sales of ultra-books what happens when you go to market at the same price point.

People aren't "too stupid" to buy a "better" tablet, they just want the shiny thing off the advert.

2011's Best... E-book Readers

Darren Barratt
Devil

Well, if you've been a very good boy then Santa will make sure your e-book is wrapped in it.

Darren Barratt
Thumb Up

It's true, the browser is bad (hence it's listed under "Experimental" in the menus rather than being listed as a feature), but it does as a last resort if you have no other alternative.

PROVEN: Violent video games mess with your head

Darren Barratt
Facepalm

Stories like this pop up every now and again, always with the headline, <ACTIVITY> CHANGES YOUR BRAIN!

It's missing the point. Changing is what the brain does. If it didn't change, you'd have a novelty cauliflower door stop instead of a thinking engine.

Steve Jobs had 'personal moral failures', was no role model

Darren Barratt
FAIL

Is handicapped on the list of unwords this week? I must have missed the news letter.

Harry Potter director takes on Doctor Who movie

Darren Barratt
Trollface

...reimagining

Ok, so the Doctor has regenerated as an american teen, but can't remember who he is. He comes to terms with the strange, fragmented memories he starts to get by singing in their glee club.

and it should have sexy vampires.

Eurozone crisis: We're all dooomed! Here's why

Darren Barratt
Devil

So, we're agreed then. We hang all the bankers and start again from scratch?

Darren Barratt

Only useful thing that UKIP have done is split the BNP vote

Ultrabooks are doomed unless prices tumble

Darren Barratt
Meh

Thought about it, but now

I've recently replaced my laptop and put some serious though into getting an ultrabook, as they're so pretty. In the end, I couldn't rationalise spending 2-3 times the money on something just down to looks.

There's the difference. Apple don't have any offerings with the same OS going for £300. PC's do.

Unless the ultrabooks can offer some unique and useful functionality (not just some skin or dock app sat on windows) then they're going to have to reduce the price.

Spanish firm brings 20MW solar ‘ranch’ online in Arizona

Darren Barratt

No, because it's a desert.

Barclays Capital cuts IT contractor rates by 10% ... again

Darren Barratt

If you've managed to slip cancelation clauses into your mortgage agreement, then go for it!

Another reason to jail-break your iPhone 4: You can get Siri

Darren Barratt
Devil

I remember when this was all fields...

and what about finding your phone? In the old days (bless them) your phone was handily attached to the wall in the hallway so you always know where it was.

I'm touting a product to apple at the moment, the ITether(tm). It attaches to the wall at the bottom of the stairs and the other end permanently attaches to the bottom of your IPhone, allowing you to combine the surety of the past with the poor reception of the future.

iPhone 4S pre-orders obliterate sales records

Darren Barratt

"4. No replaceable battery (although see above, this is a plus for some i.e. me)"

How can the lack of repaceable battery ever be a plus? You might as well wish to lose a foot because of the excellent selection of walking sticks out there.

Which actor should play Steve in upcoming biopic?

Darren Barratt
Joke

"The answer is simple: Have Pixar make a digital Steve and do his part entirely in CGI."

But that's how the original one was made. Why do you think he was always wearing the same outfit?

Darren Barratt

Tilda Swinton.

ISPs end PM's web smut block dream

Darren Barratt
Thumb Down

Bad people

Never trust anyone who immediatly start "thinking of the children" when they see porn!

Darren Barratt
Meh

"Melanie Phillips" In a bikini or underwear?

Genetics and technology make Columbus Day a fraud

Darren Barratt

Probably. If it ain't broke...

Stallman: Jobs exerted 'malign influence' on computing

Darren Barratt
Go

and it will be.

Given the price point for the Fire and the fact it's using android means it's going to be jail broken before most people even see one in the flesh!

Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough

Darren Barratt
Trollface

diy

You could always just pick some bamboo up from the garden centre plus a whole load of eppoxy resin and duct tape. Problem solved!

Darren Barratt
Facepalm

There's a lot of people in this thread that clearly haven't been in a proper bike shop. If the frame really does compare favourably with a full-carbon then £1000 is pretty reasonable.

You can get something much cheaper from Bike Hut, punched out of steel and screwed together by chimps, but if you want a good bike, you pays your money.

**Rides off on Epic Evo**

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Darren Barratt

Because they can then charge you for the "service" of changing the battery when it wears out. With a user servicable one, you can buy one and do it yourself.

Samsung reveals release for 5in tablet

Darren Barratt

My nan calls anything with a screen on it that you can pick up, "a laptop". It doesn't mean it is.

Amazon fans order three Fires for every E Ink Kindle

Darren Barratt

Possibly people like me. I like the kindle and I like the look of the fire. I won't be buying a kindle though, as I already have one and the new one doesn't do anything that the one I have doesn't, beyond look a little smaller.

Don't bother with that degree, say IT pros

Darren Barratt

That's pretty much an automatic ask from an HR dept though. If graduates weren't as common, they'd stop asking for it once a position has gone unfilled for long enough.

Darren Barratt
FAIL

But it' s not a work situation. It's a school situation. The desired outcome is not efficient code, but for the student to learn recursion, so he failed.

Darren Barratt
Trollface

Tell that to kids now-a-days

Sounds like the IT equivalent of the Monty Python Yorkshireman sketch in here!

Fire burns away the Kindle dream of interactivity

Darren Barratt
FAIL

Do you have one?

If you hold the ALT key, the top row of keys (QWERTYUIOP) function as number keys. The numbers aren't marked on them, but as long as you can count to 10, you should manage.

Amazon intros $199 movie Kindle

Darren Barratt
Devil

Peel some of the tape off your tin foil hat and use it to cover the camera. Problem solved.

Comet can't sell anything, including itself

Darren Barratt

Pay peanuts, get monkeys. Or possibly elephants

The problem is, if they had any useful IT skills, they wouldn't be stuck working in PCWORLD.

Darren Barratt
Mushroom

Proping eachother up.

It appears that Currys is consolidating with PC World, enabling them to limp on for a while. Last time I went in PC World in Peterborough, it's full of Tellys and Washing machines.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray disc set

Darren Barratt

In a bargain bin far far away

I shall wait for the sales. They always over stock these things.

Amazon solves wait-at-home-for-deliveries problem

Darren Barratt
FAIL

I presume you haven't actually used a kindle then? It no more restricts you to amazon than the ipod/iphone restricts you to Itunes. It's there, and it's handy, but there's no reason why you can't put books from other sources on it.

Sid Meier's Civilization

Darren Barratt
Thumb Up

CIV5. It's a bit of a grower

Been playing since CIV1 (in fact, Mr Meier owes me a degree!), but have got to say that CIV5 is the best since the first one.

Didn't like it when I first started playing, but stuck with it, and what first appeared to be a slow moving game relieved itself as depth. Much more tactical than previous versions.

To make it perfect, they need to add the landscape deformation of Alpha Centauri and planet buster bombs.

Electric cars: too pricey until 2030 (or later)

Darren Barratt
Facepalm

But they love their taxes

The zero rating on electric cars for congestion charge will last until people start actually buying them. Plus, congestion charge wasn't brought in for green reasons, it was meant to take cars off the road.

Anonymous/LulzSec chick-lit MP kid threat pooh-poohed

Darren Barratt
Thumb Up

Tory girl

Twinset and pearls, obviously.

Samsung says Apple lifted iPad from Kubrick's 2001

Darren Barratt
FAIL

It's a shape people

It's always struck me as bizarre that anyone thought they could patent the rectangle. General Motors might as well try to patent the idea of having 4 wheels on a car.

London rioters should 'loose all benefits'

Darren Barratt
Devil

I have a solution

Impregnate all tracksuits and similar sports wear with a chemical than sterilises the wearer if they eat anything from Greggs while they're wearing it.

That way, the odd genuine sporty person will be OK, but the chavs could rut away to their hearts content without burdening the state with their flat headed offspring.

Darren Barratt

won't work

Many of them already live in Manchester.

Murdoch's PIE BOY jailed for six weeks

Darren Barratt
FAIL

Pointy end

I think he got the sentence for the crime of coming across like a prick in interviews.

Darren Barratt

conspiraloonacy

You forgot to call everyone sheeple

World+dog yawn over NFC smartphone shopping

Darren Barratt
FAIL

Reinventing fire

I already have a mobile wallet. I call it my wallet and it's quite mobile

States consider saner 'sexting' penalties for teens

Darren Barratt
Paris Hilton

Out and proud.

America's a closet case. Terrified of genuine sexuality, it spends loads on guns and wars to prove how "hard" it is. It really need to be honest with itself and meet a nice boy.

(Paris, 'cause that's what Americans think a woman looks like)

Endeavour heads off on final mission

Darren Barratt
FAIL

America fails

Unless the Americans can pull out a new space ship, they fail. The whole journey into space thing is the only decent thing they've ever done.

Dig deep! Radio asks taxpayers for blank cheque

Darren Barratt
FAIL

I think you got a lemon

Personlally, I have a couple of DAB radios and they work fine. If your lightbulbs are effecting your mains power ring like that, get an electrician in quick!

O2 tries to explain its new prudish nature

Darren Barratt
Happy

DIY

My phone has a camera and I have my bits so I'm going homemade. Stuff O2

An iPad for under 200 quid*

Darren Barratt
FAIL

Don't forget Gideon Osborns beer money

That's the without VAT price. 441+17.5% = 518.18. Not such a bargin

Darren Barratt
Thumb Up

Simmer down Fanboi

It did sell very well for an incomplete device.

*posted from my 3gs*

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