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* Posts by R J Tysoe

54 posts • joined 19 Aug 2008

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Crack Army pilot to be first PROPER British astronaut IN SPAAAACE

R J Tysoe
Mushroom

I think Sarah Brightman is the next Brit in space.

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Bitcoin gets a $100 haircut on rollercoaster trading run

R J Tysoe
Mushroom

My lord! Success! After literally an hour's ceaseless searching I have succeeded in creating gold! Pure gold!

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Ice sheets may stabilise for centuries, regardless of warming

R J Tysoe
FAIL

It's funny...

... How global warming sceptics only believe in computer simulations when they agree with them.

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Can't watch Flash vids in Firefox? It's not just you

R J Tysoe

Re: Alternative approach.

Also, it now asks if you really want to go fullscreen when you choose the fullscreen option in Chrome.

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BoJo backpedals on Twitter hijack in mayoral glory bid

R J Tysoe
FAIL

I think you need to check the @mayoroflondon twitter account

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Robot NIGHTMARE sets new leggy-bot speed record

R J Tysoe

I think it's more of a Slam hound from Neuromancer than a Rat Thing

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Lego space shuttle hits 114,000ft

R J Tysoe

Well that explains the Lego nose cone embedded in my skull.

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NHS strikes new deal with CSC for electronic patient records

R J Tysoe
Facepalm

"The letter of intent provides for an interim Lorenzo related standstill arrangement and contemplates that a mutual release of all accrued claims with respect to the Lorenzo deployments will be included as part of the interim agreement"

Well I'm glad they've cleared that up.

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Oceans gaining ACID faster than last 300 MILLION YEARS

R J Tysoe
FAIL

Re: So where is CO2 going

Had they invented the Carbon Cycle when you were at school or were they still on the Penny Farthing?

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Teen net addicts pee in bottles to stay glued to WoW

R J Tysoe
Pint

Kids nowadays...

... don't even know they are born. In the good old days we had to piss into bottles while playing D&D.

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Mail Online is broken

R J Tysoe

For those missing there Daily Mail news fix, I'll sum it up for you:

Everything causes cancer.

People from Essex are publicity whores.

Everything causes cancer.

Carry on and keep buying things that cause cancer.

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Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

R J Tysoe
Paris Hilton

"sexist, violent and overly explicit and included imagery which was likely to harm children and vulnerable people" - so a fair advert for the game then.

The ASA have banned them from showing an advert again, for a game that's already tanked. How likely were they to throw good money after bad by showing the advert again anyway? Oh wait... This is Duke Nukem we're talking about, throwing good money after bad was in the project plan.

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Drone nerve centre malware was Mafia Wars' infostealer

R J Tysoe
FAIL

Standalone

"standalone systems on Creech Air Force Base, Nevada." Does this not mean that the system is not connected to the internet and so the keylogger has no means of reporting back the logged keystrokes?

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Amazon revamps E Ink Kindle line

R J Tysoe
FAIL

"Didn't know Stirling was so low against the dollar! $79 in USA £89 in UK... What's that about?"

Your lack of comprehension?

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Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

R J Tysoe

Maybe they'll just release a few choice records

Like Helen Bray's for example.

As for "according to source ive been relibale informed that the data hasnt been processed by the government yet. so there isnt anything for lulsec to steal." I guess the data that people entered online just went to a big printer to be printed out and re-entered by hand, rather than being stored somewhere. I think your source is as relibale as your spelling.

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Earth may be headed into a mini Ice Age within a decade

R J Tysoe

required

I didn't realise it was a Lewis article until I got to the last sentence. Why spoil a good, science based article with a complete bullshit conclusion?

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Creationists are infiltrating US geology circles

R J Tysoe
Facepalm

Crucifixion's too good for them.

@ David Dawson "Violence, that'll change minds. Good idea, well done. After all, its worked so many times before, hasn't it?"

Maybe a rock to the head will enable your sense of humour?

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Endeavour docks with space station for the last time

R J Tysoe
Coat

required

It's a bit of a let down to see that the ISS personel wear chinos and polo shirts. Surely someone could have designed a suitable spandex all in one suit? No wonder other intelligent life in the galaxy is shunning us.

Mines the silvery spandex one with the epaulettes

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Would putting all the climate scientists in a room solve global warming...

R J Tysoe

@Ministry of Truth

"Legend has it that there was a king who decided he was so powerful, he could command the tide to stop. Not much to add, other than he drowned."

There's no such legend. I think you need to get your facts straight. Perhaps you are thinking of King Cnut, who, according to Henry of Huntingdon, ordered the tide not to wet his feet to prove that he had no power over nature. He didn't drown.

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Sun attempts to ID entire FA Cup Final crowd

R J Tysoe

@inselaf

"Here in Germany it would be not so easy to do anything like this. Unless of course you have waivered your rights through buying a ticket etc."

Yes, those 88,000 people just turned up at Wembley without buying a ticket and luckily manged to sneak in through the back door just behind the burger van. Again.

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Fiat 500 TwinAir

R J Tysoe

How Much?

How much are FIAT paying to plug this car? There seems to be an endless stream of ads and reviews for it over the last couple of months.

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Steven Moffat fumes over Doctor Who plot leak

R J Tysoe
FAIL

@christoph

"He hates all fans of the show because of one idiot?" No, try reading the article. If that doesn't make it clear, try reading the original on the BBC site.

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R J Tysoe
FAIL

Hmmm...

Simple solution - don't have previews. It's a TV program, not some Hollywood blockbuster. Send out review copies on DVD to critics just like every other TV program does.

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ICT classes in school should be binned – IT biz body

R J Tysoe

Have they tried...

... turning it off and on again?

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Calling all commentards: Want some new icons?

R J Tysoe

we need...

Julian Assange angel and devil icons.

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R J Tysoe

And probably...

Lewis Page angel and devil icons.

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Hunting of incredibly rare two-horned 'unicorns' forbidden

R J Tysoe

required

I wouldn't want to meet your family if that's what your cousin looks like.

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A fifth of Europeans can't work out how much a TV costs

R J Tysoe
Thumb Up

I'm waiting...

... for the inevitable responses to this post from people who don't have english A levels.

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Eurofighter Typhoon: It's EVEN WORSE than we thought

R J Tysoe
Grenade

Can't we just...

...bring back a few BAE Lightnings. They looked nice and would probably be more than a match for any enemy we're likely to come across for the next few years, particularly after we wait for the Americans to soften them up. Toss in a few Vulcans too. Job done.

Grenade, because the ground attack pilots will have to be chucking them out of the cockpit.

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IT job seekers can't smell spell

R J Tysoe
Thumb Up

Well done

I'm sure you'll have 5 gold stars in no time

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iPhone to whup Sony PSP 2

R J Tysoe
WTF?

Xperia Play

Surely the Xperia Play is what should be compared to the iPhone? I'm not really sure of the point of the NGP.

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TalkTalk silenced over anti-BT comparison

R J Tysoe
WTF?

Value?

I wonder where the added value is that Talk Talk thinks it is adding? Is it having my wife in tears from constant phonecalls to them trying to get them to stop our TV contract? Their customer service is the worst I have come across.

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Tube to get phone coverage by the Olympics

R J Tysoe
Thumb Down

Great, more witless blabbering on the Tube

Must remember to put a jammer on my shopping list.

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US may disable all in-car mobile phones

R J Tysoe

@flybert

"this day several major European counties do not require their automobile manufacturers to fit safety belts, Britain among them ..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seat_belt_legislation"

Unfortunately, you can't believe everything you read on Wikipedia. All new UK cars must be fitted with a seatbelt for each passenger.

It is correct in saying they must be worn at all times if they are fitted. In fact, it shows that the law is stricter than in the US, where it is not mandatory to wear seatbelts in the rear passenger seats.

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Glacier boffins rubbish IPCC apocalypse claims

R J Tysoe

@jake

So, what exactly is your education? Was it as pointless as your comment?

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Former student jailed for US political hack attacks

R J Tysoe
Coat

"former" student

Why "former student"? If the headline was "Former student Jailed for university hack attacks" it might make sense, since he was a former student of the university, but in relation to the political attacks, it doesn't.

I'm sure many, if not all of your readers are "former students", as I expect we all went to school at some time.

Mines the one with the badge and Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus on the breast pocket.

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Vulcan bomber lives to fly another day

R J Tysoe
Thumb Up

Great to hear!

I missed the Vulcan flying at Farnborough this year as I went on the Sunday when it was grounded due to a brake problem.

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Cameron cocks up UK's defences - and betrays Afghan troops

R J Tysoe
Thumb Up

It's not often...

... I read an article by Lewis without ending up foaming at the mouth, but I can't find any flaws in this one. I'm no defence expert, just an interested bystander, but what Lewis has to say seems credible. He's not just knocking the decisions made but giving reasoned alternatives to those decisions.

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Cinema iPhone pirate escapes jail in test case appeal

R J Tysoe
Pirate

Why?

Really, who would want to watch a film that's been recorded on an iPhone in a cinema? I think the courts are doing the film viewing public a favour here, let alone FACT.

I wish I could use the Pirate icon with the FAIL icon...

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Serpent imprisons rattled Yorkshire family

R J Tysoe

1. They try to run away.

Then they remember they have no legs and try option 2.

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London bike hire scheme suffers pre-launch wobbles

R J Tysoe

I might check this out

I need to figure out if I can cycle to or from work in 30 minutes or less. If so, £45 a year sure beats £99 a month on the Tube. There are plenty of docking stations near work, haven't seen any near home yet, but I haven't been looking.

Then I just have to work out if the time taken to cycle + shower makes it worthwhile also.

I might end up richer and fitter, even if I only do it during the summer month(s).

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BT signs first smart meter deal

R J Tysoe

blah

Perhaps it would be cheaper to read my meter if they didn't send someone around to read it every 2 weeks...

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2012 Olympic mascots cop a shoeing

R J Tysoe

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Surely they could have come up with something that would have insulted our European neighbours? With a bit of thought they could have insulted the Americans too.

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Garage worker prangs £200k Ferrari

R J Tysoe
FAIL

@ukforest

"Why don't people in this contry put people down when they've done well?"

Why don't people in this country read what they type before hitting the submit button?

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Vote Lib Dem, doom humanity to extinction

R J Tysoe

Stick to IT

It's about time you got rid of Lewis. His lunatic rants are lowering the tone of the place.

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Lord of the Rings man made a Knight

R J Tysoe

It's a shame...

... he's not a British citizen so he can't take up his seat in the Upper House. Then he could claim to kick arse for the Lords.

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Wide-eyed kiddies in Scarface school play shocker

R J Tysoe

Sane and realistic people?

"now to drink coffee. and remind myself that there are other sane and realistic people in the world!!"

Judging by your comment, there's one less sane and realistic person in the world than you think.

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Suburban woman accused of using net to recruit terrorists

R J Tysoe
Grenade

Try reading actual newspapers

Those wondering what crime she has committed, if you didn't get all your news from ElReg you might have seen this story in the papers or actual news website - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8558022.stm

Given the timing of the release of information and the arrests in Ireland, and the fact that it says it "involved police in the US", I would suggest these things are connected.

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Forget SETI, this is how you find aliens: Hefty prof speaks

R J Tysoe
FAIL

re: None of the geeks got it

I think everyone got it, to the point that it wasn't worth commenting on.

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SeaWorld killer killer whale must die, Bible insists

R J Tysoe
Coat

It's in the name

It's just as well they don't keep Sperm Whales in captivity. Imagine the mess that would make.

Mines the one with Free Willy in the pocket.

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