* Posts by smudge

454 posts • joined 8 Aug 2008

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'Toyota dealer stole my wife's saucy snaps from phone, emailed them to a swingers website'

smudge
Headmaster

Re: PS - Streisand effect

As summed up in the 1971 satirical novel by John Wells and John Fortune.

"A woman for duty / A boy for pleasure / But a melon for ecstasy."

They took that from an old Turkish proverb.

Only reason I know is that I had a friend at college who used to quote it all the time.

I can't stand melons.

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Uncanny hacks-men to attend special school in grand country home

smudge
Holmes

I would expect that the stuff that they will be taught will be found in publicly available textbooks. Not secret at all.

I would also expect "codebreaking" to be a very small part of their course - if it's included at all. If anything is included then it certainly won't be "national security" grade cryptography. I wasn't suprised to see the BBC have an orgasm over "codebreaking" - but El Reg should have known better.

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A closer look at HPE's 'The Machine'

smudge

Controlling access to shared memory

a universal pool of non-volatile memory is accessed by large numbers of specialised cores ... in which data can stay still while different processors are brought to bear on either all of it or subsets of it.

It's a long time - over 35 years - since I worked on a multiprocessor shared-memory architecture. Presumably HPE reckon that they can implement monitors or semaphores - to control access to shared memory - in such a way as not to adversely affect the Machine's performance.

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smudge
Headmaster

Re: Actually a quantum leap will not be enough

I can be pedantic too :)

A revolution is a rotation through 360 degrees. We had that in the 1960s - the IBM 360. And then they named its successor the 370... :(

What we need is a hyperspace jump.

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More than half of punters reckon they can't get superfast broadband

smudge

Re: exchange only lines...

the copper they pull out would pay for the FTTP probably

Someone said, a few years ago, that the value of BT's copper was greater than the market valuation of the company itself. Not sure if that's still true, but it was an eye-opener...

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Software biz boss on harassment charges represents himself, says I want a jury

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Trump's plan: Tariffs on electronics, ban on skilled tech migrants, turn off the internet

smudge
Big Brother

Re: Disturbing

the essence of the reasoning being not everyone needs an education.

You've got to be of a certain age to fully appreciate this, but one of the most unsettling experiences of my life was attending one of the original Pink Floyd "Wall" concerts. It was the sight and sound of the many thousands at Earls Court singing along with "Another Brick...", i.e. "We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control..." Coupled with all the neo-Nazi imagery, it was scary. I was sure that Roger Waters, who by then was clearly and publicly a control freak, was pissing himself laughing on stage.

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smudge
Facepalm

Re: I, for one ...

different to the average pollie in what way ?

The average pollie doesn't get to be the most powerful man on Earth for at least 4 years.

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smudge
Thumb Up

Re: A sound of thunder

Classic. Haven't read it for years, but will find a copy today.

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smudge
FAIL

I, for one ...

... am scared shitless by our new narcissistic, bigoted, xenophobic, misogynistic, lying, climate-change denying overlord.

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Computer glitches force US election poll stations to stay open for longer

smudge
Joke

Didn't they know what day it was?

Computer glitches force US election poll stations to stay open for longer

I told them Patch Tuesday was a bad time to have an election.

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Unstoppable Huawei draws level with Apple

smudge
Holmes

Re: Brooklyn Beckham?

"Of what exactly, coming out of the right vagina that got impregnated by the right cock?"

I may sound prudish, but it really is not based on that;

Well of course it isn't. She had all her kids by C-section. The origin of "too Posh to push".

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Handling tech baggage: How American Airlines, US Airways merged IT

smudge
Facepalm

No, no, no - it goes THIS way round!

It's a long time - about 13 or 14 years - since I flew on American Airlines.

At the time, their in-flight corporate videos - safety info, guide to Dallas airport, etc - started with a view of the Earth from space. With the Earth spinning in the wrong direction! Made you wonder how good their navigation would be.

I haven't found a copy of it, but I did find a short discussion of it here, to show that I'm not making this up.

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China passes new Cybersecurity Law – you have seven months to comply if you wanna do biz in Middle Kingdom

smudge

Re: Really?!?

Keeping critical infrastructure data within national borders is another.

Forbidding people from "disseminating false information to disrupt the economic or social order" sounds good in principle. Though we all know that the Chinese authorities are going to use that to crack down on anything they deem to be dissent - the authorities will decide what's false information.

But an effective, balanced implementation of that in the UK might have improved the piss-poor Brexit debates that we had earlier this year. (That comment applies to both sides in the debate, by the way.) And in the US, it might also have disqualified, if not actually imprisoned, that odious, orange, lying lump of self-love that millions of Americans will be voting for.

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No spin zone: Samsung recalls 3M EXPLODING washing machines

smudge
Unhappy

Uh oh!

Oh dear. We have this very day acquired a new Samsung fridge/freezer. With NO Internet connection.

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Brexit may not mean Brexit at all: UK.gov loses Article 50 lawsuit

smudge

Even in NI and Scotland it was close, 50-something percent to stay.

Not in Scotland - 62-38 in favour of staying in the EU. Quite a bit more than the 55-45 independence referendum vote to remain in the UK.

Since the people in Scotland are constantly being told that the indyref vote had a clear and convincing result, it's obvious why they are pissed off at being dragged out of the EU despite their 62-38 vote to remain.

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smudge
Holmes

Re: And the youngsters

So we should do nothing until everyone is over 18?

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smudge

This gives Remain a notional Commons majority of at least 310.

But the BIG difference is that MPs now know how their constituents voted in the referendum. And most areas of the UK - outside of London, Scotland and NI - voted to leave.

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smudge

I think it's an issue where whips will be defied by MPs who believe that the national interest is at stake.

If we consider just the Tories, then I wonder how many Tory MPs there are in seats where the locals voted to remain. Probably not many, since, IIRC, it was mostly London where "remain" majorities were returned. OTOH, with a wafer-thin majority, it only needs a few to defy the Government whips.

Labour's position is ambiguous, though. Will we see them whipping MPs to oppose Article 50?

The Unionist parties in NI, I don't know much about. I believe one supported "remain" and the other supported "exit"?

The Lib Dems and the SNP should be solidly against Article 50.

My conclusion? Haven't a clue which way a vote would go. Depends on whether Cons and Labour declare definite positions AND whip their MPs. But also depends on local parties and ordinary people threatening to deselect or vote out MPs who don't vote in accordance with their constituents' referendum wishes.

Interesting times.

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Smart Meter rollout delayed again. Cost us £11bn, eh?

smudge
Devil

Re: Night Terrors and cats falling over from these things!

Their operating system contains daemons.

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smudge
WTF?

Ten people have a smart meter???

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UK.gov's pricey Five Year Plan to see off cyber thugs still in place

smudge
Holmes

Re: I was disappointed to hear TBL on Today this morning

"becoming the ... guardian" ???

They have been the national authority for information security for at least 30 years.

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DMCA updated – toaster penetration testing gets green light in America

smudge
Trollface

Re: One small step for sanity!

The U.S. has the world's largest IT security industry. The world has serious IT security problems.

Cause and effect?

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Vodafone rapped with RECORD £4.6m fine for failing customers

smudge
Pint

Whose rules??

" the regulator found that Vodafone had failed to comply with our rules on handling customer complaints. "

Good to know that you are expanding your remit into regulatory work. Change your name to El Reg and it'll do just nicely.

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Capita's head of tech solutions resigns

smudge
Headmaster

Holely incorrect

"A Capita mouthpiece said..."

Given the company, surely that's the wrong end of the alimentary canal?

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Hard-up Brits 'should get subsidy for 10Mbps'

smudge
Facepalm

Your rant might have made more sense if the post on which you appear to be commenting hadn't been deleted by its author.

The bit in italics was me quoting part of the deleted rant.

The second sentence was my comment on the rant.

Most people appear to have got that.

But not you.

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smudge
Holmes

That's ALL that needs to be done. JUST BLOW A FUCKING FIBRE OUT TO EVERY ADDRESS.

Not too familiar with the geography of the UK, are you?

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NSA, GCHQ and even Donald Trump are all after your data

smudge
Black Helicopters

No hiding place

Or you could live in a Scottish croft with no internet access...

You'd probably have an intercept station as your neighbour.

Anyway, use of advanced telecommunications - radio, internet, etc - has long been a vital part of life in remote areas of Scotland (and other lands). So good luck in finding that unconnected croft.

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Court finds GCHQ and MI5 engaged in illegal bulk data collection

smudge
Holmes

Sounds like reasonable security to me. We have systems for commercial customers (household names) like that.

Cameras activated when the rack is opened.

"monitoring computers checking Every connection into and out of this persons server." That'll be a firewall, then :) Yes, I am aware that more sophisticated checking is available.

Only pre-authorised support staff can physically access the systems. That excludes the data centre staff and the customer staff.

So, nothing spooky at all.

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Sweet, vulnerable IoT devices compromised 6 min after going online

smudge
WTF?

I'm not burying my head in the sand...

... but some of those numbers look dodgy to me.

Every day there is an average of over 400 login attempts per device, an average of one attempt every five minutes and 66 per cent of them on average are successful, according to Nazario.

So that's over 260 successful logins per device per day?

That gives me a severe case of the mindboggles. Surely if only a small percentage of those led to malicious activity, the then whole IoT would be rendered disfunctional? (And there's no need to tell me "It already is!".)

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Pull the plug! PowerPoint may kill my conference audience

smudge
Pint

Re: A perfect Friday Afternoon Treat

Being a very big fan of Mr Nelson, I've only just realised that it's not an ad targetted at me following my online activities!!

Speaking to you through electrical language...

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smudge
Windows

Beyond PowerPoint....

Webinar. Exponential growth in Murphy's Law effects due to large numbers of interacting electronic and software technologies.

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Woo hoo, UK.gov has unveiled yet another tech creche – for infosec

smudge
Facepalm

Re: coalition government?

...since the coalition government came to power.

It's also been 50 years since England won the World Cup. But that doesn't mean that they are the current holders.

950 years since the Normans took over England. But that doesn't mean that they are still in power.

Understand?

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MI6 to hire another 1,000 bods 'cos of private surveillance tech

smudge
Thumb Up

Re: And - clearly demonstrating their 19th century antecedents

Having worked at the CCTA - on projects, they were my client - I can well believe you.

Two of the senior managers were known to their own colleagues as "Bookend 1" and "Bookend 2", and these were indeed accurate summaries of their talents.

Still, Riverwalk House was handy for visits to the Tate.

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Latest F-35 bang seat* mods will stop them breaking pilots' necks, beams US

smudge
WTF?

Re: minimum weight

If you want a parachute to open, then the implication is that you are falling.

But delaying the parachute opening allows the seat to slow down a little??? What laws of physics are in operation here?

Also, bodies of different masses fall with the same acceleration. Some old Italian dude is credited with that one. So what difference does the pilot's weight make?

I suspect that something has been lost in the reporting...

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Conviction by computer: Ministry of Justice wants defendants to plead guilty online

smudge
Facepalm

Re: Ive got a solution...

5. Force the train companies to operate under the assumption that there will inevitably be a small percentage of people that dodge the fares rather than spending more than the fare is worth on prosecution.

I'm no fan of the train companies. But it's obvious that the main purpose of the prosecutions is to keep the percentage of people that dodge the fares small. They are a deterrent, not a revenue raiser. No prosecutions => percentage of people that dodge the fares becomes much larger.

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BBC vans are coming for you

smudge

Re: Regressive tax

If I buy a TV (as a large screen monitor) in order to watch Netflix and Amazon Prime, why do I have to tell some spotty oik in Currys my address?

You don't. At least, you are not legally required to. The law changed in 2013. Although this may still be news to some branches of Curry's.

My Mum moved into a care home earlier this year. I bought a small TV for her room - from Curry's - and I certainly wasn't asked for an address, because I know I would have had to think what address to give. That reminds me, must change the address for her current licence.

I suspect that nowadays they just assume that every address has a TV, until proven otherwise. Guilty until proven innocent!

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$100m settlement snub: Super Cali goes ballistic, says Uber deal atrocious

smudge
Holmes

Re: **Applause**

I'm sure they are all either too thick or hammered to count, so probably Yes.

And your username here is ... ?

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smudge

Re: **Applause**

Yes, for informal values of the term "countless".

However, assuming a 1-1 mapping between the set of ICT fans and the set of natural numbers, then they are, of course, countably infinite.

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smudge
Pint

Re: **Applause**

How long have you been working on that headline?

Probably not long :) The countless legions of Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC fans - myself included - will recognise it and applaud it.

Click here to see why. Perfectly safe for work.

Although I hadn't realised until I found that link that the Liverpool Echo had done something similar many years beforehand.

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Vodafone: Dear customers. We're sorry we killed your Demon

smudge

Re: Decoupling of email from broadband?

It's my understanding that if you take up the NamesCo offer, then you can. But note that talk amongst the few remaining customers at the newsgroup demon.service is that Vodafone may ditch the whole demon.co.uk set-up at some time in the near future - IIRC next April is when the registration expires. Vodafone have certainly hinted at that in the past.

Demon customer domains - eg mydomain.demon.co.uk - are all subdomains of demon.co.uk. So if that disappears, then so will all customer subdomains - websites, email and everything - regardless of who your broadband supplier is.

I was lucky in that mydomain.co.uk - where "mydomain" is my Demon subdomain name - had not been registered, so I registered it a couple of weeks ago, and have spent a lot of time since then telling everyone about the change of address, and amending all my online accounts. Of course, a change of email address is a change of email address, so simply dropping the ".demon" is not technically different from completely changing the domain name, but it seemed like a logical thing to do.

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smudge

Re: Oh well

Oh and its worth pointing out that Vodafone are giving customers all of 30 days notice to switch their email before its switched off.

...in the peak holiday season, too.

IIRC, the first batch of emails should be switched off next week. I haven't had any communication yet from Vodafone - it is believed that they are switching off emails in batches - but I have already registered my own domain elsewehere and have spent many boring hours trying to remember all my online accounts and updating the details. I'm bound to have forgotten some.

The eye-opening thing about that exercise was how bad some sites are at handling updates. There are quite a few where I still have to use the old email address as my logon ID, even though they are now sending stuff to my new email address. There are also those who are still sending to my old email address, two weeks after being told of my new address. There is at least one where I am now completely locked out. And a few where there were no facilities for changing email address, or where the change appeared to work, but in fact failed.

And then there is the security aspect. Some sites accepted the change with no questions asked - bad. Some sent a confirmation link in an email to the old address - top marks there. Some merely sent messages to the old address (or both addresses), saying "your email has changed - please contact us if you didn't expect it). And some - zero marks - sent emails only to the new address saying "your address has changed".

Anyway, if you ever have to change a lot of email addresses, do it before you lose the old address. And expect a lot of variation in how well the changes are handled.

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Baffled Scots cops call in priest to deal with unruly spirits

smudge
WTF?

Really is a sham, man

I've run across this sort of thing from time to time, and usually it's a clueless spirit that's just confused - hard to "get a clue" when you don't have a body anymore.

So why aren't they all clueless, then? All the spirits that no longer have bodies - there must be quite a lot of them.

But YMMV.

MM does indeed V. A lot.

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smudge
Holmes

Re: Oven doors opening?

It's definitely not "aliens".

You've never been to Rutherglen, have you?

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What next for the F-35 after Turkey's threats to turn its back on NATO?

smudge
Holmes

It's as if the commander of the Provisional IRA were living in Virginia unfettered while organizing a terror spree in London.

I assume that you are too young to remember that there was indeed open support, and funding, of the IRA in the USA.

Back in the 80s, I once had an interesting conversation in a Covent Garden pub with a very nice Catholic girl from Boston, whose priest had openly told his flock to support the armed struggle against the British oppressors. I told her a few facts, and I shall never forget the look on her face when the penny dropped and she understood that at any second, without warning, we could get blown to pieces by her noble freedom fighters. One fewer IRA supporter after that!

(BTW, this isn't support of your belief that the coup in Turkey was organised by Gulen. I wouldn't trust anything that Erdogan says.)

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IBM makes meek apology for Oz #CensusFail, offers no fail detail

smudge

Re: Warning: Aussie census goon squad coming soon!

When the [Australian] census was last run, as British citizens we couldn't participate (for obvious reasons!).

Sorry, but it's not obvious to me. Are non-Australian people excluded from the census? Here in the UK, all households have to take part, no matter who is resident there.

Excluding people because of their nationality defeats the main purpose of a census, which is to collect comprehensive and accurate data.

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If we can't find a working SCSI cable, the company will close tomorrow

smudge
Facepalm

Not IT, but a similar experience

I once had a holiday which was a bus tour of the old cities of Morocco. (recommended, BTW.)

One morning at breakfast, the American lady next to me - whom I hadn't previously spoken to - said that her camera wasn't working.

So I asked what was wrong, and she said it was just completely dead. It had been fine the previous day.

So I asked if I could have a look. Took out the batteries, cleaned all the terminals and connectors, and put it back together. It worked perfectly. She was utterly amazed and extremely grateful.

So we started chatting.

"What do you do?", I asked.

Said she, "I design satellites for Hughes".

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UK.gov flings £30m at driverless car R'n'D, wants plebs to speek their branes

smudge

Why "IN" the vehicle?

A remote controller in a centre somewhere would probably be equally as effective, assuming the car has the number of sensors required to give all-round view to keep the AI happy.

I am originally from the Scottish Highlands.

Things that work effectively in the flatlands - mobile communications, for example - may not work so effectively in challenging terrain.

There is also, as I said, the possibility of "systems failure", which could be a comms failure.

In which case either the car fails safe - i.e. stops - in a mid-winter blizzard in the middle of nowhere, or the occupant takes control. I know which I'd prefer!

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smudge
Thumb Down

So commuters can actually get something done whilst commuting and people who like to go to restaurants and have a couple of glasses of wine can get home in their own vehicle without risking a driving ban, and elderly people who are no longer able to drive can still be mobile.

I think that for a long time to come there will still be a legal requirement for someone in the vehicle to be capable of taking over in the event of an emergency or a systems failure. Think of it like the quailified driver who has to accompany a learner.

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