66 posts • joined 7 Aug 2008
@ LaeMi Qian
Damn you beat me to it. .....
Just like the guy in the video
Ok OK I'm going I'm going
If we was from Australia......
He would be known as "the Wizard of OZ'
forget the coat I'm outta here before I get pelted with the rotten fruit
the reg will let any one on these boards. Even sales/marketing droids from micro$oft.
Exchange is the biggest peice of bloatware on the market today. Exchange will do everything for you (according to the marketing morons),
Yeah Right, i write this whilst everyone sits around the office waiting for the network guys to get the exchange server running again. I'm placing bets that mars entered the age of gemini or some shit like that to cause the system to crash again
Flames as an oxy/acetylene torch is probably the best solution for an exchange server problem
Et tu Brain
Bloody hell I thought it was just my boss, his boss, my workmates, the government and that weird looking guy on the street corner that was out to get me. Now your saying my brain could be plotting against me too!
Trent should have pushed to get some of his video clips selling through the app store. It would have solved alot of problems, mainly due to those wankers all dying from heart fialure at watching the "Happiness in Slavery" clip
Thumbs down for Apple
and why would a software house peedle crapware. But hey it seems to work for micro$lop
A Communication disruption
can only mean one thing
But this time it's not a hoard of moronic robots. Sorry Britain, but you have now been overrun by a hoard of righteous do-gooders who are intent on wrapping every one of you in bubble wrap and force you to watch G rated only programs (24/7 teletubbies). As you do not have the expertise to identify suspect material they will also now select the books, internet sites and all other literature that you are able to read.
Any voice of dissent will be dealt with harshly, well within the context of the new huggly feelly regime that is running the show over there now
I wish you all good luck on your highly regulated existance
The legal outcomes of this trial will have no impact at all anywhere else in the world.
Though I did read in awe of how completely spineless the president IFPI was. Backpeddling on the issue of prosecuting the large search engines (google, MSn,Yahoo!) and all of the other usual suspects justr confirmed what a toothless tiger these organisations are now.
There is no way that they will even touch the big guys. Not for fear of protracted court proceedings but because taking on these guys will mean attempting to argue (whine) at the highest levels in the International and US courts. The said whining would then be decided as such, and thrown out. It is this scenario they fear as these courts decisions in many circumstances become the basis of legal precedant worldwide.
Prosecuting a group in the local courts of sweden, IFPI, you deserve to be bitchslapped
I need that 2 minute break
Been reading the Reg for 30 minutes solid at work and misread the headline. I was thinking "short Squirts - the reg is good but not that good" Damn looks like a couple of minutes of work to get my mind back on track
they should take lessons from the porno script writers everything should fit neatly onto a single page.
Girl sitting on couch, guy walks in, guy does girl (random close ups)
guy sitting on couch. Girl walks in, girl does guy (eandom close ups)
Girl sitting on couch. Girl walks in, girl does girl ( random close ups)
It would make for some interesting quests at least
Paris: Do you really need to be told!
The script will have all the tell-tale signs of being constructed using a pocket knife, duct tape and a piece of string
So in other words
just like the banks we don't like the numbers that are being reported, so we're just going to change them. Nohting to see here move along now, move along
Freetards v those other people, never fails to deliver.Nothing like a good flame war to warm the blood on a cold morning.
What the story should have said
The CEO for warner bros whilst his hand was in his pocket holding his "magic wand" invvoked the time honoured spell of all movie studios ' maximius profitus"
Haven't they been marketing that story with each new release of IE. I could safely hold my breath waiting for the first exploit to be posted
This story is going to get so many comments posted to it it'll seem like a DDOS attack I'll be fun reading them though
They are legally obliged to repay any overpayments. However, they are legally entitled to demand full disclosure on that overpayment, how it and all other entitlements were calculated Anyhting less and you can happily shred that letter and know you will win any future court proceeedings.
Having finance and HR redoing all their sums (particularly HR) tends to stress them out too much and they just write it off, unless of course the overpayment is in the 10,000's of dollars In that case you can make repaynments of $10 a month by cheque
New El Reg measurement
"...the universe is so extremely large and old. About 159,302,326 times as old as Golden Girls' Bea Arthur,"
And yet it needs to be said that the universe itself is infinitely more appealing
if Galaxy Zoo 42 will be the answer we have all been searching for!!
whats the point
in having net access if you can't rant about what the bloody government can/can't should/shouldn't be doing in between porn sessions
we're getting close
to getting the BFG. You could cook them with a laser blow them up using the railgun or a gauss rifle. But personally there could be no better satisfaction then turning your enemy and everything else around them into a bloody smudge.on the ground
Intelligence in Business
After working in this area for the past 5 years I can honestly and with a degree of confidence say ,that, business Intelligence or Intelligence in Business is an interesting concept. But it will never catch on
Welcome to El Reg. Have a nice day
Please let this be an undocumented feature
There was a guy next to me in the train this morning listening to rap crap at full volume. Detonating that piece of crap would have brightened my day immensely
title needed apparently
Here in good ol' OZ, it is actually a traffic violation to swerve to avoid hitting an animal on the road. Consdiering that you are typically doing in excess of 110km'h on those roads it makes sense too. A sudden swerve and your more likely to be hitting a very large tree rather than a kangaroo or wombat.
Ron white does a great piece on deer hunting. Unfortuantely can't provide the link. No access to youtube at work. Damn it
Let Hollywood go all out and have an all in space war
hell throw in the borg, the bugs from starship troopers
and an asteriod hurtling towards earth.
Get bruce, ben and a space shuttle that defies all the laws of physics back to save the day
Only problem with this is that a screenwriter is probably reading this through the smoky haze of his crack pipe and thinks this is a winning storyline to pitch to the studios
COME ON"Indeed, when she's not working her ass off to make an honest buck"
My mind imploded with all the possible responses to this. Thanks El Reg my I.Q> has now dropped that low I actually beleive Paris is the intelligent hard working lass she purports to be.
Ah look at the cute penguin
I wouldn't mind betting that he received his inspiration from that simpsons episode
Speilberg to promote scriptwriting, Didn't anyone there see crystal skull. On a related note I got to catch the south park episode they did on the movie. It is the first time I can say that south park DID NOT GO FAR ENOUGH
Are the upper mangement types so incapable of speaking a word of truth. really his letter should have read along the lines of \
Yeah things are coming to a head here in Satyam and it wont take long for everyone to realise that i have been embezzling hundreds of millions of dollars to satisfy my own personal greed. To compensate I have been on a crusade to falsify all publicly available financial statements so you wouldn't find out.
There has been some fancy dancing by me and the CFO, when bribery wouldn't work, when PWC came through the door to verify that book of fiction we like to call our financial records. I earnt my pay check those days , let me tell you
In the coming days shareholder confidence is going to sink faster than the titanic The new upper management team will be taking the employees, customers and shareholders on a spin doctor ride of G force proportions attempting to save the company, though unlikely The spice girls reunion tour had more chance of success than the company does now.
Although you will be facing hard times looking for employment in these harsh economic times, or you will be counting your losses from investing in my company, or you are one of our unfortunate customers looking for a way to piece together the shattered remains of that outsourcing project (pity you if you were the driving force behind that decision) or you are hoping they simply don’t turn the power switch off on all your mission critical servers I feel I must point out a silver lining to this horrible situation.
I got away with it. Yep as you are reading this I have already skipped the country to a nice little corner of the world withal of my ill-gotten gains. I think you would enjoy it if you weren’t so busy running around trying to pick up the pieces of the economic disaster I created.
A wise man once said, Greed is good, Greed works” Well, it does. For me at least
the final piece of the puzzle. The total sum for human knowledge is now complete, we are able to now sit back and relax. Here I thought I would never see it in my lifetime
Title needed apparently
Bill gates on a t-shirt.. Wow what beating would you like today?
Must send a thank you email
Here I was racking my brain over christmas gifts. Wondering which games were the best, wading through the dozens of reviews and here is a ready made list for me .
Thank You Timothy Plan
Title required apparently
Wow before reading this article I was completely ignorant about this section of the market. I must say, after reading it, I still am. The only point I did glean from this is that HP, IBM or any of the other vendors are willing to sell you anything that is within your price range, or with a bit of luck, marketing bullshit or a few lunches to go over it
You came close but I'll take it one step fruther, "internal customer", which is bad enough by itself, but of course the suits feel a need to then add extras, such as satisfaction, experience or any other crack pipe inspired bullshit.
"internal Customer" for those that want to walk away with the feeling they have just had a colonscopy
Hmmm. time to up the doage again I think </rant>
Twatdangle of course
Title says it all
@ Mark Jan
Can you post your address details. I need to forward on a couple of receipts for a new keyboard, and montior
I knew it
I thought I saw a rusted out old holden ute in the picture. So let me be the first to claim this new planet in the name of all Austra.... Ah can't be arsed hand us another tinnie will ya.
@Not gonna work outside the south-east of Aus
Considering the driving times I would have guessed the NT or the kimberley region, but after the fucked up drive into work this morning on Sydney roads, you could just as easily be living in the outer Sydney metro area.
Yes, Paris is known to have the intelligence of a doorknob.
Yes, Paris has been accused of being a waste of oxygen and organic matter.
Yes, she may have all the social graces and etiquette of a wildeebeast
Yes, she has starred in a couple of home made videos that has raised more than the occassional eyebrow
Yes she may have even had the occassional public drinking binge that's ended badly,
and yes, Paris tendeds to flash more than her pearly whites at public events as long as there isare plenty of cameras around.
But damnit we at el! Reg have lovingly adopted her as a mascot (of sorts). So please have a bit more respect for our dimiwtted, alcohol swilling, pussy flashing, skanky amateur p0rn star, OK.
Since when did the great land of OZ become a province of china.
Rudd you dipshit hands off the net, It's the parents responsibility to monitor this not the government
No, No, No, No,
The first rule of project management is never ever take a project on that has already been started It will be running behind schedule and over budget and don't even dare review the requirements, that is if anyone can actually point you to the current version of them (if they even exist that is)
The one business analyst that was any good and knew enough about the project told the previous P.M to jam the contract up his arse, realising weeks before the rest of the company that the previous P.M couldn't manage a root in a brothel with a fist full of $50
The development team will be furiously working away though, attempting to implement requirement #34. A requirement which added little value to the overall functionality and only impacted some sad individual in finance, which when scoped was found to add an extra $300K and 6 months to the project
Speaking of finance, finance being least impacted by this project will be screaming the loudest. Apparently their spreadsheets don't add up anymore and fuck knows what that has do to with this project.
The weekly senior management meetings held on Fridays’ are driving you up the wall. The financial controller who apparently overindulged in his liquid lunch is swaying in his seat like a punching clown, After listening to him still prattling on about spreadsheets that’s exactly what I want to use him for.
I could keep on going but you get the picture and I've digressed far enough. Just say no and run really fast…..
Two stories posted together, this one about a 15y.o. and nude piccies and than next to it, a story about the oracle stockholders chocking on the size of larrys package
It took my brain 10 minutes to reboot itself
I have now peered into the abyss and seen the terror within.
Not surprising really
After hearing the radio interview with the so-called victim I realised that the pig was far more intelligent than her.
title needed here
the only thing that scares me these days are the new batches of reality tv shows
I am more than a little pissed off that these arseholes seem to think if I turned up to the pub and saw a couple of hairy beavers it would incite me to either drink more or commit an act that is completely vile. It appears they don't hink the male population, in general, have evolved past the missing link
it also seems to have slipped their tiny little minds that you can just drive the road and see more than a map of tassie in the nuddie bars But once again the extermists views of the minority are force upon the originally uncaring majority I'm guessing from this thinking these "women" are bitter, old and single
Alien... beam me up there's no intelligent life here
the silver lining
is that the resulting books, manuals ans reference material combined will be able to be about as thick as karen carpenters' personal cookbook
Aussie stnadards are definitely slipping
I remember the good 'ole days of australian politics,
Just a couple of our most loved prime ministers
Getting so smashed he wandered the corridors of a hotel in his underwear, not remembering who he was, where he was or what he were doing
Held the world record for drinking a yard glass of beer
Went missing after taking dip at his favorite beach his body was near recovered
Not the least bit concerned about black holes forming I've been married to an exoric singularity for years now that's been sucking my will to live
- iPad? More like iFAD: This is why Apple ran off to IBM
- +Analysis Microsoft: We're making ONE TRUE WINDOWS to rule us all
- Climate: 'An excuse for tax hikes', scientists 'don't know what they're talking about'
- Analysis Nadella: Apps must run on ALL WINDOWS – PCs, slabs and mobes
- Major problems beset UK ISP filth filters: But it's OK, nobody uses them