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* Posts by Anonymous Custard

776 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

NSA-proof email encryption? Cobblers, sniff German hackers

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Suddenly all the renovation and restoration work at Bletchley Park makes sense... :)

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Xbox 180: Microsoft scraps mandatory Kinect policy

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I can see multiple packages of the XBox One available

You forgot one:

Professional (most expensive) edition - doesn't include either a Surface RT or a Kinect

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Why hack when the NSA and Microsoft can supply it as a built-in and pre-installed feature?

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: "You have the ability to completely turn the sensor off in your settings,"

Or the best selling XBox One accessory would possibly end up being a little bit of cloth to elegantly drape over the Kinect camera when you're not actively using it?

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Anonymous Custard
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Holmes

No sh*t Sherlock...

"The console will still function if Kinect isn't plugged in, although you won't be able to use any feature or experience that explicitly uses the sensor".

And the award for stating the bleedin' obvious goes to...

They'll be telling us next that we can't play games on it when it's not plugged in at the mains.

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Think your smutty Snapchats can't be saved by dorks? THINK AGAIN

Anonymous Custard
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Re: might pause and think again.

It's quite sad how responsibility for (and consequences of) your own actions seems to be an alien concept in modern times...

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Vodafone flashes bulging package at Brits: New 4G service to rival EE, O2

Anonymous Custard
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Re: WTF has sport got to do with bandwidth?

Both it and Spotify are good ways to break the data limit cap so that they can charge you more or push you to buy the higher limit package at extra cost...

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Upstart's 'FLASH KILLER' chips pack a terabyte per tiny layer

Anonymous Custard
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Personally I'd wonder about heat generation and dissipation, especially if they are talking 3D stacking.

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Super-SVELTE BLUSH-PINK planet goes too far with star

Anonymous Custard
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Barbie girl, landing on a Barbie world

This is an accessory to the Mars Explorer Barbie, isn't it?

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Behold, replica Nazi-code-cracking Colossus computer IN LEGO FORM

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Nice one :)

Is there nothing Lego cannot do or replicate? Except Playmobil reconstructions of course...

Nice one, great homage to a truly great bit of original kit, and an inspirational engineer.

Have a beer, as there's no mug of tea icon...

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Shack in flat-pack bric-a-brac lack flap? Whack on this 3D flat-pack app

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Route Optimiser?

Have they started doing those again (the meatballs that is)? I recall they were taken off-sale when horse was found in some in one of the Continental stores (forget where offhand).

Must admit they were one of the main reasons for going to Ikea in the past.

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Anonymous Custard
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3D movable instructions next?

Now if they could expand it to give you better (3D zoomable and rotate-able and possibly animated) instructions on how to build the things it would be useful. Whilst some of their stickman instructions are OK, others seem to require defiance of a few laws of physics to get the item together.

Or would there be too much risk of your phone/tablet ending up being used as an impromptu hammer?

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KingSpec's 2TB Multicore PCI-E SSD whopper vs the rest

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Am I missing something?

Personally I'm still trying to work out how 8 x 240GB = 2TB?

There's either some serious rounding error involved, or someone is screwing us out of 100GB or so (even before other losses due to formatting and block sizes etc).

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Bloke in shed starts own DAB radio station - with Ofcom's blessing

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Now I can get the BBC* again

Crucial memories there Winston, crucial :)

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Did Anyone Bother?

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Barbie paints Red Planet pink with NASA-approved Mars Explorer doll

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Inside or outside?

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You MERCILESS FIEND... you put that audio file on AUTOPLAY

Anonymous Custard
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Ah but then there's the case where you open a few tabs at once (for example when looking at a site like el Reg or similar news places, a tab per story of interest) only to have one or more auto-play video/audio files and it's then a race to hunt down exactly which one is doing it.

Made even more fun when multiple tabs decide to play ball, and you get a complete audio-mess coming out.

May just be the reason when at my desk the Lync headphones are generally always plugged into audio out and mic (and fairly often being used to stream 'net radio to drown out the office noise), and when travelling the laptop is usually on mute by default...

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DON'T PANIC about methane

Anonymous Custard
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CNN

Can someone please tell CNN Europe? They were on about it all morning today - was almost a relief to turn it off and come to work (on a foreign business trip, so about the only English language TV is CNN and hotel wifi is too crap for streaming either TV or radio).

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ISPs: Relax. Blocking smut online WON'T really work

Anonymous Custard
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I like huge boobs..

Except when we elect them to parliament...

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Anonymous Custard
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Job title

Tory MP Claire Perry, who is Cameron's adviser on the commercialisation and sexualisation of childhood

Shouldn't there be a "prevention of" or other such negation in there somewhere? As read it makes her sound like exactly the kind of person they're trying to protect kids from.

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Deja-vu

So it's at least in part the "do not track" box ticked by default argument all over again?

Although I guess explaining to the significant other why you don't want to be tracked may be easier than the reasoning for opting out of the smut-filter.

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Who will Dr Who chew in 50th TV do before Matt Smith bids adieu?

Anonymous Custard
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Why not have friendly good daleks for a change? :)

Been there, done that already - serving tea in WW2. At least for a while anyway.

OK it was a ploy, but somehow it just didn't sit right. The better idea was the different and inter-fighting Dalek factions, but even the old version of the show covered that one (Davros' daleks vs the Emporer's daleks) if I remember correctly.

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Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

I think the fact that we've had as many "last of their kind" Daleks as Doctor regenerations recently hasn't helped. It was OK as a one-off plot idea, but even in the rebooted series it was reused at least 3 times I think.

It's the Doctor who's supposed to regenerate, not the script plot devices...

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Tablets? Check. Mobes? Check. What's next, Apple? Fondlable CARS

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: iTunes

Well it could then go for an iTune-up :-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

stating there is a "sociological problem" because "talking to one's car is unacceptable to many".

Although on a cold and/or wet morning when the damn thing won't start, shouting at it (and/or giving it a damn good thrashing with a branch) is perfectly acceptable British behaviour.

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Microsoft admits it's '18 months behind' with Windows 8 slabs

Anonymous Custard
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Re: What took them so long?

You can also almost image the shocked look on his face when someone tells him that it's actually possible to buy keyboard cases/covers for iPads, in a fairly similar style to that on the Surface...

So there goes another reason to buy a Surface over anything else (given Android has similar cases too, and the damn things are mainly Bluetooth anyway so almost any wireless keyboard will do in practice), and given some of the reports about the quality of the MS covers and their wearing out very quickly they might even be a longer-lasting option for the Surface than the MS wrapper.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: 18 Months behind?

And these are presumably Microsoft months, from the same timepiece as the Microsoft seconds and minutes you see when transferring files or downloading stuff. You know, the ones that are 3-10x as long as those on anyone elses watch.

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PM writes ISPs' web filter ads for them - and it must say 'default on'

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "nobbles DNS lookups" - correction

You have to remember that this is stuff drawn up by politicians for application to adults. Hence whilst it may bamboozle Joe and Jane Public, their kids will of course just side-step it as kids always do in new and imaginative ways.

It sounds more like the internet equivalent of child-proof medicine bottle lids. You know, the ones that only kids are dexterous enough to open...

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Re: Cameron's looking pretty stupid on this one. But he wants all Britains to feel like this->

And then no doubt next it will be blocking anything that could be branded as "terrorism" or supporting suchlike, with the usual nebulous and flexible definition of exactly what and who the govt of the time doesn't like (or is told not to like) that should be included.

It's almost a shame we don't have something more up to date than the Magna Carta as a parallel to the American Declaration of Indepdendence to use as a cornerstone and rallying point towards freedoms of speech and the like.

Having said that if it's done by screwing around with DNS, presumably underground (or not so underground, or possibly just overseas) alternate DNS servers may spring up offering a work-around for those who may want it, for legitimate reasons or otherwise.

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Unreal: Epic’s would-be Doom... er... Quake killer

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

And more importantly, whilst it gets mentioned in this column occasionally and it won the gold award a while back, unless i missed something you still haven't actually done an article on Elite?

With the ongoing development of E:D it's surely time for it, or are you waiting for that to come out before you compare and contrast?

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Microsoft's next device could be a Surface Watch

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I got a new watch for my birthday

A watch used primarily to tell the time?

Come on, you'll be telling us next of a phone used primarily to talk to people who are in another place ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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Touchscreen

So they think a 1.5" touchscreen may be a workable idea?

I wonder precisely how many live tiles they would try to fit into that area? And will it come with a sharpener or file to make the wearer's fingers pointed enough to be able to tap them? It's bad enough on an 7" screen sometimes unless you partake of a stylus or similar prodder.

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Microsoft lathers up Windows 8.0 Surface RT for quick price shave

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Clue up

Problem is Microsoft made such a song and dance about cross-platform compatibility of the different flavours of Win8 across desktops, laptops/notebooks/ultrabooks, tablets and phones etc, but forgot to (or in any case didn't) explicitly, specifically and loudly exclude Win8RT from that.

Apple have always distinctly kept OSX and iOS separate, ditto Google for Android and Linux. This may be changing in the future as things converge and devices get more powerful (and possibly someone figures out the good way to univerally get user input on smaller devices), but for the moment the only platform that has the indistinct separation is Windows.

Had MS called Win8RT something more distinct (and made it a more stand-alone item) then things may be less muddled and Joe and Jane Public could make a more clear choice.

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El Reg Playmonaut soars to 113,000ft

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

The Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team has just about recovered from the celebrations in the pub after last Saturday's successful test flight of the Special Project Electronic Altitude Release System (SPEARS) control board

You missed a few words out? But certainly well earned success, and celebrations. A pint to you each and all, and especially our intrepid Playmonaut jr.

And stratodangle now has to enter the English language, or at least the project management language for when important projects which have risen to visibility at high altitudes in the management tree suddenly look to be going pear-shaped. Unfortunately I think it may apply to one I'm currently working on :(

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Click here for hot live SPEARS test action

Anonymous Custard
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OK, so the test looked good, and LOHAN/SPEARS is on the money to do great things on proper launch day?

So what next, the el Reg cubesat project? An airplane launched into "deep space"?

If so, baggsy calling it ELTON ;)

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Cubesats to go interplanetary with tiny plasma drives

Anonymous Custard
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I was wondering something similar, given the size of dishes etc that probes which have gone before seem to need, plus the apparatus and thrusters needed to align it back toward mother Earth to send a signal back.

But then again I suppose it could be a proof-of-concept test bed for the plasma engine etc, but I thought that was basically proven technology at this point anyway?

Or is this a solution looking for a problem again, or just something to use up NASA funding, with the definition of "deep space" being slightly beyond Earth's magnetosphere (or any distance further than you could get out and walk home).

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'Thundering mechanical behemoth' walker mech to attack Leicester today

Anonymous Custard
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Re: If a horse was that lame...

It's more camel than horse, at least in design ethic.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Art? ART?

Just what I was going to reference, so have an upvote instead. His machines have a very natural aesthetic grace, whilst this thing looks like an oversized baby crib made by Tonka.

I wonder if it was designed by committee, in the camel sense?

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JPL wants to fire a laser at MARS!

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Or possibly "Ulla", before aiming their heat ray back towards the source.

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LOHAN team girds loins, aims to take SPEARS to heaven again

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Excellent

And there's me off on a business trip to southern climes for this and next week, and wondering how to fill my time over the weekend. Based on how much fun it was last time (at least until the Playmonaut went swimming and the watching masses ended up with a frozen pic of the yacht club when the relaying phone was taken away from the camera) that's Saturday filled up nicely :)

Best of British luck chaps (and associated plastic figurines) and here's to rushing around Southern England like loons. Mine'll be the Sicilian pint raised beside the pool whilst watching via aforementioned Interweb.

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Elon Musk's Grasshopper tops 300m, lands safely

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Thrust

This reminds me of the 80's computer game Thrust. All that's needed is a big ball of cargo connected to the thing by a tractor beam.

But at least whoever was in control of the rocket was better at it than I used to be at the game :)

Still nice one all round.

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Star bosses name asteroid to honor author Iain Banks

Anonymous Custard
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Re: A great writer

Indeed, although given it's science and space it should probably be called IainMBanks?

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Tickle my balls, stroke my button and blow the fluff from my crack

Anonymous Custard
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Re: I have a 7 button mouse...

Personally I still like the Microsoft Intellimice - 4 button plus trackwheel, and with the correct driver software the button actions are configurable on a per-application basis. The two side buttons (fairly naturally within easy reach of your thumb and little finger when the mouse is held) I find quite useful in general work. For example my thumb button is set up under IE (all we have at work) for back and under Outlook (ditto) it's new mail.

When I go home or on-site and have to use standard 2-button + wheel mice I often end up trying to click on a button that isn't there and generally having my workflow disrupted.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Trackpads and tablets

Depends if you're a ginger cat and dislike them perhaps.

If so then perfectly understandable old chap.

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Carry on Computing?

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US: We spied on you Europeans but we can still be chums. Right?

Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Is there any point?

They probably already know what our side are going to say anyway...

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Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Where's the magazine rack

You know what? A pot plant would really spruce that place up a bit.

Doesn't that result in you getting banned from the place though, from recent events?

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Germans brew up a right Sh*tstorm

Anonymous Custard
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I'm sure there's a lot more ingredients in the melting pot than that, courtesy of our now-faded colonial and imperial past. Definitely inputs from the Indian sub-continent and all the countries thereabouts.

Still it could be worse, it could be Esperanto.

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