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* Posts by Anonymous Custard

963 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

DARPA hands IBM £3.4m to develop SELF DESTRUCTING CHIPS

Anonymous Custard
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Black Helicopters

Re: Self-destruct helicopters?

You realise you missed the perfect opportunity there to use this icon? ----->

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Anonymous Custard
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Black Helicopters

I wonder if they come with a warranty

And a built-in trigger that fires the shattering mechanism off 2 days after it expires?

Oh, and

“The commercial off-the-shelf electronics made for everyday purchases are durable and last nearly forever,”

Is this a new military definition of "forever" that equates to more than the few years that civilian kit seems to achieve before going tits-up? Or is it just that military kit these days is so old that it was made at a time when they hadn't dreamed up built-in obsolescence to keep sales up year on year?

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Duracell powers into cloud storage market

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Perhaps ..

And why don't the servers have copper coloured tops?

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Robowagons roll! US Army tests all-drone supply unit

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

We got ourselves a convoy?

"Breaker 1 9, this here's the Robot Duck"?

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it...

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Sinclair's ZX Spectrum to LIVE AGAIN!

Anonymous Custard
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Happy

Re: Awful to type on

Indeed, and the rather odd "strap on" joysticks that you could get which worked (for want of a better word) by mechanically transferring the movement into pressing/holding those keys...

Ah the memories of playing "Track and Field" and "Hypersports" until the Q key died...

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Cryptocurrencies now being pooped out by cartoon cat

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Crazy frog

Aren't they all rather silly coins?

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Plusnet is working on a network-level filter to block pirate sites

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Antiblocking tools ?

I just loved the way that when I first opened the article, the unfortunately now-obligatory AdChoices ad dumped on the middle of the page was for "Hotspot Shield", with a banner headline about using it to bypass blocks on sites.

Stunningly appropriate and amusing given their usual ability to display utterly irrelevant and random ads.

Was a nice little way to end a rather dull Wednesday at work...

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MPAA spots a Google Glass guy in cinema, calls HOMELAND SECURITY

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Oh!

NSA + MPAA = A SAMPAN

Conclusive proof we're all being spied on by the Chinese?

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Contradiction in terms?

...because he wore a Google Glass headset...

The bloke, who wishes to remain anonymous...

Aren't those two points mutually exclusive?

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Mystery 'doughnut' materializes in front of Mars rover: 'OH MY GOD! It wasn't there before!'

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

So it's a jam doughnut?

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Mission to Mars

Hang on - on Mars donuts just materialise?

I'm on the wrong planet!

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Devs write 'film my shag' sex app for Google Glass

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Oh god - I can't get rid of this image

Could be funny though, if the man gets to see the woman's glass view and see's that she's doing the online shopping, playing Candy Crush or something similar at the time too.

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Anonymous Custard
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WTF?

"We asked ourselves: 'How can we make sex more awesome with Google Glass?"

You can't help but envisage this being said by someone with more knowledge of the theory (and theoretical research from certain mags/DVDs/websites) than actual practical "hands-on" knowledge?

Aside from that, I'm unsure whether the article would merit more from a "Joke Alert" icon than the "WTF?" one, as the latter is equally appropriate to the thinking described...

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SPAM supposedly spotted leaving the fridge

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

A good excuse for a midnight snack?

However, Vulture South is not, as our peers seem to be, lying awake at night over the refrigerator spambot

Good to hear that your new years resolutions are holding, and you're not taking the excuse for a midnight snack in the name of researching what the device is doing...

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Cybercrooks slide fingers into TELLIES+FRIDGES, spam splurge ensues

Anonymous Custard
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Re: I don't need to friggin internet controlled fridge

You waste beer-space on food? That's what take-away is for!

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: My Talky Toaster ....

Hmm I misread that as Nigella.

Gives a whole new meaning to gastoporn...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

A certain irony?

So if I have an internet-enabled oven, it could be serving me up spam?

How ironically full-circle...

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Apple fanbois make it 'official', hook up with Internet of Fridges Things

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

DIY?

which has nothing to do with the defunct British DIY chain.

Umm, they were a furniture store, not a DIY one?

I think MFI stood for Mullard Furniture Industries, although they also used "more furniture ideas" as an alternative in advertising slogans too.

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Intel shutters BRAND NEW chip factory as PC market storm rages

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Its a mess on Intel "et al's" own making...

It's less that there's been no major developments, but more that a few years ago PCs reached the power level that is sufficient for most users. A 3-5 year old PC will be plenty powerful enough for 80-90% of people, who just want web/email rather than something like cutting edge gaming, video editting or similar more demanding applications.

Hence some new "killer feature" was needed, where the tablets and phones (and mixtures thereof) stepped in with their mobility and portability (and "all in one" nature with something you're probably carrying anyway). So PCs have gone from "need to upgrade to do more things" to "need to upgrade as the old one's broken" which is always a much longer cycle.

The problem is of course that the business model and the driving requirements for a desktop (or even laptop) PC is different from a tablet one. So it's less Intel vs AMD than the "old school" (including both of them) vs the newer custom-designed stuff like ARM based kit. Intel are trying the new market with the old mindset, which doesn't fit and so isn't working (look at the business model behind the new Quark processor - technically good but absolutely sunkin its Edison format by the price and what's not on the die that you also need to bolt onto it). They're getting there, but it's a slow evolution without guarantees that they'll get there alive.

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Use strong passwords and install antivirus, mmkay? UK.gov pushes awareness campaign

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Rolling of eyes

Given the periodic stories that turn up in the news media, it's also "do as we say, not do as we do".

Although to be fair the list should be extended to add encryption of sensitive data (or storing it in a suitable place which is safe and under your control) and not leaving devices in compromised positions (such as laptops and phones left in taxis or on Starbucks tables unattended to be nicked).

And it comes within two articles in the main page of an article about WinXP and HMRC/govt and hacking/security after the end of XP support...

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Hopefuls rattle tin for customisable snap together 3D printer

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Wake Me Up

Or at least when they work out a problem that this kind of thing makes a cost-efficient solution for.

And preferably one that's every-day for Joe Public, and doesn't involve caveats like being in space.

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Intel and Asus put the dual boot in, offer 2-in-1 lapslab WinDroid

Anonymous Custard
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Re: At different times...?

Umm, I'd have to ask how is this new (at least the AMD bit of it)? Or is it just the version of Bluestacks and/or the hardware are optimised for one another, or a special hardware button to run the thing?

Bluestacks has been around for a while now, I have had it running on my Win7 laptop at home for a fair while. Works quite well (allowing for the lack of touch and gyroscopes etc on the laptop, but that's not bluestacks fault), although does seem to be somewhat resource-hungry.

A quick search from it via your engine of choice will turn up download links (http://bluestacks.com/‎ if I remember correctly, can't check as at work) and I think there are versions for Windows and OSX.

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Thought the toilet camera was weird? Try actual thumb flash drives from tech's supershow

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Thumbs up!

So it's basically a weeble drive, for those of an older generation (who may be trying to keep their ideas a little more pure, not that I disagree with any of the other thoughts about what else it looks like ;) ).

Still not sure on the cost-effectiveness of the Sandisk thing, when you can get a wifi-share/hotspot/battery/usb connection thing for £30 from Ravpower and a few others into which you can also plug a full-sized (or micro with adaptor) SD card for much greater flexibility and usage for lower price (and they work great - got one for Christmas along with SD card and a WD passport 2TB drive forming a fully portable NAS/SMB drive that fits in a case about the size of a deck of playing cards).

Also agreed though that the Imation thumb-drive looks nice.

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Amazon, Hollywood, Samsung: PLEASE get excited about 4K telly

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: 3D

You forgot the laser eye surgery required for the percentage of the population where that's the limiting factor on how things look anyway...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: 4K Streaming?

Amen to that, plus I've bought and re-bought enough of my movie/TV collection in the various formats over the years to want to do it again in 4K format. And of course a lot of the stuff will either never be available in that format anyway, or would be so messed about with that the higher definition would probably show up more imperfections etc and make the whole thing look worse.

That said I'm old enough that my eyes would probably struggle to notice the difference anyway, at least without Amazon-sponsored laser surgery... ;)

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Merry Christmas? Not for app devs: That gold rush is officially OVER

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Achieved?

Apps for the apparently imminent tidal wave of smart watches?

So then we can have smartwatch apps that are to telling the time what smartphone apps are to making phone calls?

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So, which people you read about in The Register got gongs in the Honours list?

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Nah, ever since the days when Brian Clough got his, it's been "old big 'ead"

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Glassholes, snapt**ts, #blabbergasms, selfies and PRISM: The Reg's review of 2013

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Making a monkey out of it?

Microsoft was a serial offender with its son-of-Hotmail Outloook.com sinking

Or just going ape when things broke, in a very Pratchett stylie?

oook?

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Microsoft tries to trademark 'Mod' in the US

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Quadrophenia!

I was thinking Google Rocker or Apple Rocker, but very much along the same lines, so have an upvote instead :)

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Fanbois, prepare to lose your sh*t as BRUSSELS KILLS IPHONE dock

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Vladimir Plouzhnikov

@Dave 126 - what' d'ya mean used to?

I'm still lumbered with one (a crappy C2 which has come very close to being chucked at walls or through windows on several occasions), although it's micro-USB. Still can't charge through the bloody thing though (just like it's predecessor, and the one before that - in fact almost every damn Nokia dumbphone work has saddled me with over the years!).

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: Not only but also

Sounds like my last few company Nokia dumbphones (as I'm too much of a minion to yet warrant a smartphone - I only work for a company that produces micro-chip making equipment, so nothing too high-tech or useful for us). All have had mini- or micro-USB ports, but can you charge them that way?

No way Jose - you have to use the other little hole in the bottom (or top in the most recent brick) solely for charging, and make sure that you don't stick it in the headphone socket by mistake. And of course they even changed the connector on that power connector to a shorter/thinner one a couple of phones back, so it's another stack of chargers that are useless unless you go buy yet another adaptor...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: That all depends

I just note that this is for charging, and not for data transfer.

So there's nothing to stop anyone requiring fancy and expensive cabling to get data on and off devices via a cable, with a cheap and cheerful cable working for just charging the device.

I've already got a cable on my desk that's 4-way (Nokia, micro-USB, mini-USB and some form of Apple) that works fine for charging (at least the first three do - I don't own any Apple gear to require the latter). Doesn't do any data connection though, but it sounds like this legislation might just produce a similar non-data power cable with one end that fits all.

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ZX Spectrum REVIVED as Bluetooth keyboard

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Photo

I was also thinking it doesn't look like any speccie 48K I've ever owned, but given it's a prototype maybe we can forgive it for now. But did seem strange to be sold as a speccie keyboard when it's clearly not a 48K squishboard (which I guess people wouldn't want to use for more than a few nostalgic minutes), although it does bear a passing resemblance to a Speccie 128K or a +2/+3 (give or take the card reader slot at the top).

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

Anonymous Custard
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Re: 2000?

Somehow I think MS only shipping 2000 devices in this case does class as them getting their act together, or at least some small part of reality dawning on a few people in Redmond.

Just still not quite in a way to make people actually purchase the things though.

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Fair winds and following servers: The art of flight prediction

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Force of attraction

Does it also take into account the well known attractive powers of tall trees, inaccessible ledges/mountainsides and of course deep water in the terrain?

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Facebook to BLAST the web with AUTO-PLAYING VIDEO ads

Anonymous Custard
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And a lovely response by XKCD.com today

http://xkcd.com/1305/

(contains swearing at the end, just FYI).

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Yummy, flash cache

Facebook was keen to point out that its latest ads would not eat into a user's personal data plans because it would have been downloaded in advance when their device was connected to a wireless network.

So it's eating up the storage space on my device instead to locally cache them? Wonderful...

Plus of course it'll by nature have to download every damn advert that it might be possible to see, which presumably if they have their way won't be a small number.

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No anon pr0n for you: BT's network-level 'smut' filters will catch proxy servers too

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Seriously?

In a sane world, BT should be losing thousands of customers every day, because of this.

Indeed, although given most of the major ISPs are also towing the same line, it's almost as difficult to find a suitable ISP as finding a politcal party worth voting for. Maybe this could be a nice niche for an enterprising new provider to make an ISP that's specifically not controlled or meddled with (I know, it's even more of a pipe-dream than a party worth voting for).

Personally I just wonder how long the off switch will remain available, and whether it'll be spring-loaded to go into the "on" setting at the drop of a hat (in the same way that Talktalk's homesafe filter seems to be).

But of course also in the same sane world we'd have some suitable filter to protect us from Whitehall meddling too.

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We MUST be told: How many Bitcoins do I need to kill a melon-head?

Anonymous Custard
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Pirate

Cowboys and idiots

Just because it kept getting robbed in cowboy films doesn’t make it untrustworthy.

No, it's when they started employing the cowboys as CEOs and in their boardrooms that the problems started...

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Microsoft: Here, we'll make it easy for you Gmail lot. Meet our Outlook.com movers

Anonymous Custard
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Change of address

Surely the most awkward, annoying and time consuming of any such change is letting people know your new address (ok, letting the people who you actually want to know what your new address is, rather than everyone just by redirecting/forwarding so that you can temporarily lower your spam influx)?

Somehow I doubt MS's service will do that for you, nor go through all the sites that you have emails and notifications set up for and change all those. For me that's the heavy lifting that you'll still have to do yourself. Set-up and content migration is normally not too bad, at least if you also take it as a good time for a clear-out and spring clean (and of course also actually download emails to a mailer program occasionally too for the ones you do want to keep for whatever reason).

So sounds like a lot of hope and hot air to me I'm afraid...

Oh and while also letting you set up your Gmail account as a "send-only" account

What use is that, as opposed to just shutting the thing down if you are really looking to migrate? Or did the author actually mean a "receive-only" account (which can also easily be done by just not sending from it I guess).

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Ballmer: 'We made more money than almost anybody on the PLANET'

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Out of interest...

Depends if you're the Candyman or Beetlejuice...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: The good way

That sounds more like a recipe for a decent doughnut (or donut if you prefer the American flavour)...

<homer>Mmmm, donuts</homer>

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Oz couple get jiggy in pharmacy in 'banned' condom ad

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Who would want to ask for a 'Small'?

Or more likely "Large", "Extra large", "Horse" and "Liar"...?

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: "Come again!...."

Hmm, Apu and the Kwik-e-Mart in the Simpsons are never going to seem quite the same again with that ad stuck in the back of my memory...

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OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: You have mail

You have to print it out before you can use it ;)

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Shivering boffins nail Earth's coldest spot

Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

Feed the hounds

The next time my daughter moans about venturing outside to feed the mutts

Hang on - you mean you don't have a Pi/Arduino controlled automated creation for such tasks? What is the SPB coming to these days when you have to rely on pipe-wielding offspring for such duties?

My faith has been soundly shaken - I must partake of some suitable liquid repair-fluid forthwith! To the pub...

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Barnes & Noble's Nook sales take a long walk off a very short pier

Anonymous Custard
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Wouldn't that mean if you get a different credit card (new or replacement one with a different number) and update your account with it, then suddenly all your DRM registrations become invalid and you can't access your previously purchased stuff?

I hope I'm mis-interpretting the quote, but given how crazy DRM can get sometimes I'm not 100% sure.

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Apple dodges data privacy sueball: Fanbois didn't RTFM*, says judge

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I must be doing my bugs wrong

Well Billionaire Bill seems to have gone from Windows code (and bugs) to funding the search for cures for HIV/malaria/polio (amongst many other things) so there's certainly a precedent.

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PS4 with Black Friday underway: TOUGH, you CAN'T HAVE ONE!

Anonymous Custard
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Re: old news?

You're welcome, happy to help. And thank you for the upvote :)

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