* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1387 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

UK in Frenchy cyber love-in to ward off 'information bomb'

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

The Normans were vikings in ancestry, they just came via France.

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FOUR STUNNING NEW FEATURES Cook should put in the iPHONE 7

Anonymous Custard
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Siri 2

Isn't it about time they improved Siri so that it can answer the calls for you, to save you the effort of having to do so?

And probably tailor the tone of the response depending on whether the call is coming from another iPhone, or from some other make?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Anonymous Custard
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The prototype was less IoT and more TiT

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Anonymous Custard
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After PARIS and LOHAN, Lester finds his next project...

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Anonymous Custard
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Now just connect the printer up to the CUPS server here, and we'll get started...

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Anonymous Custard
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Silicon valley 2.0

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Anonymous Custard
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Intel demonstrates their new 2 jigglebit storage device

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Anonymous Custard
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The team were shocked to learn that the T in IoT actually didn't stand for things...

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Aren't you a little buxom for a stormtrooper?

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Alcatel Idol 3: Holding its own with a pretty decent 5.5 inches

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Reversible

Yup, just what I came here to say, speaking as a man who at least 75% of the time has to invert his phone after taking it out and finding it's being held upside down.

But then again I usually take (at least) two attempts to get a USB plug in on my laptop or phone as well, so perhaps I'm just confused that way (or a reincarnated Australian).

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Total War: Warhammer, Blood Bowl and other Games Workshop table-to-screen delights

Anonymous Custard
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A load of old bowls

Ah the memories, although can't say I was that struck on Blood Bowl - the play area was a bit small and restricted for my taste after a little while, although some fun could also be had with the regenerating Skeleton Crew if you played it right, or of course the Chaos Dwarves.

That said many a happy day was spent at the youth centre with a few mates and Dungeon Bowl (the spin-off from Blood Bowl), especially due to adding a few boxes of dungeon floor plans and having a playing area of several square meters of corridors, rooms, traps and treasure etc.

Great fun, and sadly far too many years ago...

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It's alive! Farmer hides neglected, dust-clogged server between walls

Anonymous Custard
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BoFH, Dabbs, Worstall, Bong...

Hell there's enough inspiration here for a good few Friday afternoons and beyond...

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Anonymous Custard
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Holmes

Pi in the sky

Fun reading all the comments (and the article itself of course) but it does make me think of the future, and the current trend for the ickle computers like the Pi's and Odroids. Given how much fun people seem to have had with these big ol' servers behind walls etc, combined with how small and simple Pi's are, and quite where they could get hidden (especially when run headless)...

Personally I've already got 2 of them, although they are only mildly tucked away behind the TV (the media player Kodi Pi) and in the video cabinet (the headless server Pi).

By the way - am I the only one who thought some of this sounded like one of Dabbsie's columns?

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Funny - giving the old desktop a random drop has frequently solved problems

Ah the joys of percussive maintenance.

The intermediate step between swearing by the machine and swearing at it...

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Doctor Who storms back in fine form with Season 9 opener The Magician's Apprentice

Anonymous Custard
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Yes, it was indeed nice both to see the Special Weapons Dalek again, and also to not see the new abominations that got foisted on us a while back (the ones that look like they're made of melted plastic).

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RFID wants to TRACK my TODGER, so I am going to CUT it OFF

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Pairing socks?

At least there is one upside - you could have self-pairing socks, or at least an app to identify where the missing twin of the lonely item you have in your hand has gone. Presuming of course that both were equally tagged, and neither had been consumed by the Eater-of-Socks

Or maybe even a Gok Wan or Trinny&Suzeanna (showing my age there) style app, which alerts you if you're pairing mismatched or clashing items of clothing together, or even just wearing something that's so last week's fashion...

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BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Re:

Nah, maintenance should be for Thursdays, not Fridays.

Fridays are either for beer, or so you have time to fix anything that the Thursday maintenance broke so you don't have to do it on the weekend (before then going to the pub for aforementioned beer to celebrate).

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

'You see some pale bulbous eyes staring at you...'

Big BOFH is watching you...

Might have to ponder a set-up of that scheme though. Sounds almost as much fun as phone racetracking - a nice long chain of phones all forwarding to the next one before looping back to the start. Always good for a quiet Friday afternoon whilst you nip off pubward.

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SCREW YOU, FEDS! Dozen or more US libraries line up to run Tor exit nodes

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Plus

And if you believe Hollywood, the main bad guy (or at least his main evil henchman) will have an English accent...

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El Reg unfurls awe-inspiring Integrated Space Plan megagraphic

Anonymous Custard
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Scale?

Come on, it can't be that big. Or has Katarina put on a growth spurt and been moonlighting in a remake of "Attack of the 50ft Woman" that you haven't told us about?

Might just have to get one in any case (the poster that is, I already have two daughters).

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Sharp's new TV has over 7,000 lines of pixels – but there's NOTHING TO WATCH

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

I'm sure they'll just use it as another excuse to carry on remaking, sorry reimagining, all of their old movies rather than splashing cash to trying to come up with anything new or original...

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US librarians defy cops, Feds – and switch on their Tor exit node

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Terminator: Librarians Rising

Oook?

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Bug forces Apple to halt watchOS 2 update – still emits iOS 9 on time

Anonymous Custard
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Childcatcher

And unfortunately now we also know a kid who would probably get his hands cuffed behind his back for trying to sort it out...

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Game CARTRIDGES make a comeback ... for smartmobes

Anonymous Custard
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Re: ZX Spectrum, cartridge port?

Wow, the return of RAM Pack Wobble!

All those times of getting far into a game, only to knock the Speccie, wobble the RAM pack and have the damn thing reset or lock up.

They don't make 'em like they used to... (thanks $diety)

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You want to DISRUPT my TECH? How about I DISRUPT your FACE?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Ironic?

@Dabsie,

I think given the choice of going from Sennheisers to Beats compared to going from Sennheisers to silence, I'd pick the latter. It's less of a drop in audio quality and sonic satisfaction.

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Anonymous Custard
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Not to mention the old chestnut of "new and improved", which is of course self-contradictory.

All these TNT's (that is definitely going into regular usage at work) get rather squirmy when you point that out and ask them for details about how their new whizzy product or project can be both.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Ironic?

Nice article, although the point about being taken in by sales hype is a bit undermined by the admission at the start that you own something by Dr Dre...

It's things like that which'll have your status as a technology tart withdrawn.

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IoT/BYOD Topic of the Week: Which Channel 5 news minx was HOTTEST?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: MaxiPad?

Makes the price a bit more reasonable, if it includes lessons on how to rollerblade, sky dive and all the other things the various adverts over the years have said using such products enable you to do...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: The issue you raise was anticipated

So if we take part in the poll, are we going to end up in a double-page spread in the Daily Fail next week like that pair (ooer) from Linkedin seem to have done repeatedly?

Enquiring minds probably want to know, although personally I don't give a toss. That said I would like to know how the poll actually managed to get past work's p(r)oxy server, which routinely used to eat all of Lester's LOHAN polls (or at least the Javascript behind them).

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WinPhone community descends into CANNIBALISM and WOE

Anonymous Custard
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The "Marmite OS" sums it up quite nicely.

For those who want a phone to actually be a phone (a communications device for calls, plus SMS and email) then WinPhone is great. Nicely focussed (the rose-tinted positive spin of restricted app availability) but more to the point rock solid and reliable, it just gets on with what it should be doing.

But of course for those who want it as a tablet/laptop replacement then it of course fails, due to the self-same lack of apps etc. In that arena it's never going to replace and iOS or Android device.

So yet again MS are suffering from producing a product and then trying to market it as something else (or it being seen as such by the market) in the same way they did with Surface being a laptop-replacement vs being an iPad or other tablet replacement/competitor. And now with WinPh10 they seem to be trying to change their target and be a jack-of-all-trades across both, and like Surface end up mastering none.

Speaking as a WinPh8.1 user (on my company HTC 8X) I can say I'm quite happy with it as a phone, which I will miss if WinPh10 screws things up like it looks like it will. And for tablet stuff, there's my Nexus7 also fairly happily filling that role (albeit with some signs of showing its age now).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Angst

In a world where Kanye West wants to run for President, I feel I must disagree with your hypothesis.

He said worship, not vote for. Unfortunately no matter where you are, it seems to be universal that the choice on the ballot paper will all be tools of one sort or another (West, Trump, McAfee to say the least).

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Anonymous Custard
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Simon's latest order from Amazon may need to be returned

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Internet of things for real men

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Anonymous Custard
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A few

Give me a chance, I'm still learning Python.

Someone said there was a product round-up on mice here?

Apple's new mouse didn't please all the beta-testers.

The new-look Register website is just charming.

Surely locking with crtl-alt-del is quicker if you need to pop to the loo?

When I said I needed more bytes, this isn't quite what I meant.

BOFH? Pah, amateur...

When I said I wanted to get more hands-on with Python, this isn't quite what I had in mind!

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Hats off to Nintendo’s platform supremo Super Mario Bros at 30

Anonymous Custard
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Ah the nostalgia

In addition, it also span-off a cartoon series and a movie, although the latter was a bit odd (although inspired casting of Bob Hoskins as Mario and another fun fact is it was narrated by Dan Castellaneta, aka Homer Simpson). I can remember the series on a Saturday morning, along with similar ones for PacMan and Sonic.

Happy memories of simpler times...

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BORN to HURL: Man's shoulders are head and shoulders above apes, gorillas, chimps etc

Anonymous Custard
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Gorillas?

Having seen some of the flinging abilities of beasts such as Mountain Gorillas, one cannot help but wonder how a test batsman would actually cope against a ball bowled by one. Given they seem to be both quite accurate, and in possession of roughly 10x the strength of the average human.

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Huge SUPERHENGE erection found near Blighty's Stonehenge

Anonymous Custard
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Failsafe backup

OK, so Stonehenge is really just the (slightly) offsite redundant failsafe backup machine for the real ancient astronomical calculator that they've only now discovered? So is Woodhenge really just a UPS?

That's what I call disaster management planning!

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SPACE WHISKY: Astro malt pongs of 'rubber and smoked fish'

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Barbarians!

So the directors cut of which film had that particular scene in?

Gravity? Alien? Star Wars?

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Which presumably are a tad on the large side to ship up to the ISS and then have laying around there for a few years.

Hence adding the shavings to the liquid is the next best thing to having it in contact with the inside of a barrel. Thus also leading to the use of the word "simulated" in the quotes one would presume.

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Files on Seagate wireless disks can be poisoned, purloined – thanks to hidden login

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: That picture

Thermite doesn't work quite as well as you would think/hope, although of course it is fun to watch (from a very safe distance).

el Reg actually covered this topic not so long ago -

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/08/09/how_to_destroy_your_hard_drives_without_burning_down_the_data_centre/

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Daredevil Brit lifts off in 54-prop quinquaquadcopter

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Ian Fleming would be proud

I was thinking more that Pixar have gone somewhat more high-tech in their sequel to Up!

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Feeling sweary? Don't tell Google Docs

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Better language use

Nah, if you're doing it right you can just get Shakespearian and insult away to your hearts content. It's always fun to do and watch the confused look on the targets face as he slowly works out exactly what you've just called him.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Faggot

So if I'm talking about faggots of wood (a bundle of brushwood or similar), or indeed eating the pork offal meatball of the same name then I'm basically ****ed?

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Giant sea scorpion which prowled ancient oceans revealed

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Thank $deity

If that's what the one they dug up in North America looks like, I'd dread to think what its Australian cousin looks like, if more modern fauna is any guide...

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Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Anonymous Custard
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A wall of flaws?

Unless you get to a ceiling of them of course...

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Antiques in spaaaaace! Retired space shuttles cannibalised for parts

Anonymous Custard
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Coat

Remake, reuse, recycle

OK, so who's the lucky astronaut who's going to end up wearing Neil Armstrong's Apollo 11 suit?

Still I guess it could be worse, it could be the Apollo 13 ones (if they ever got the stains out after their fright...).

But then I suppose some styles never go out of fashion... ;-) A bit like my coat over there...

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Japan's 'White Stork' soars heavenwards to ISS

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Wasted Opportunity

Thats 'cos the third one was navigating, and they're currently somewhere between Saturn and Uranus. It was covered up to save embarassment of all concerned...

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Government embarks on futile mission to censor teen music vid viewing

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Rated 18+

"Why a four year old child could understand this.

Run out and get me a four year old child,

I can't make head or tail out of it."

Groucho Marx - Duck Soup.

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Feeling a physical present: Ten summer games and gadgets

Anonymous Custard
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Childcatcher

Yeah, but there's no age limit on being a kid is there? At least at heart anyway. :-)

I'm sure if you ask your mother, she'll tell you you'll always be her little boy or girl (as appropriate)...

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Monster Scalextric Formula 1 circuit to go under the hammer

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Bushes!

And I thought such model planes used trees (as landing catchers) rather than bushes?

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