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* Posts by Anonymous Custard

870 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Oz couple get jiggy in pharmacy in 'banned' condom ad

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Who would want to ask for a 'Small'?

Or more likely "Large", "Extra large", "Horse" and "Liar"...?

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: "Come again!...."

Hmm, Apu and the Kwik-e-Mart in the Simpsons are never going to seem quite the same again with that ad stuck in the back of my memory...

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OMG, Andrex KILLED the PUPPY! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: You have mail

You have to print it out before you can use it ;)

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Shivering boffins nail Earth's coldest spot

Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

Feed the hounds

The next time my daughter moans about venturing outside to feed the mutts

Hang on - you mean you don't have a Pi/Arduino controlled automated creation for such tasks? What is the SPB coming to these days when you have to rely on pipe-wielding offspring for such duties?

My faith has been soundly shaken - I must partake of some suitable liquid repair-fluid forthwith! To the pub...

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Barnes & Noble's Nook sales take a long walk off a very short pier

Anonymous Custard
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Wouldn't that mean if you get a different credit card (new or replacement one with a different number) and update your account with it, then suddenly all your DRM registrations become invalid and you can't access your previously purchased stuff?

I hope I'm mis-interpretting the quote, but given how crazy DRM can get sometimes I'm not 100% sure.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Wrong way round

True, and it's a real shame as the hardware itself is very nice. That said when I got my nook the first thing I did on it was root it and stick the Kindle software (and a couple of others) onto it.

Makes it a very nice and multi-purpose reader, but isn't exactly what B&N would want me to do with the thing. So essentially the thing becomes a cheap Kindle, and if they're selling it as a loss-leader for the eBooks then the business model falls apart.

And from my understanding I'm far from the only one to do this, so even the Grannies may not be quite so misguided.

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Apple dodges data privacy sueball: Fanbois didn't RTFM*, says judge

Anonymous Custard
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Re: I must be doing my bugs wrong

Well Billionaire Bill seems to have gone from Windows code (and bugs) to funding the search for cures for HIV/malaria/polio (amongst many other things) so there's certainly a precedent.

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PS4 with Black Friday underway: TOUGH, you CAN'T HAVE ONE!

Anonymous Custard
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Re: old news?

You're welcome, happy to help. And thank you for the upvote :)

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: old news?

If you mean the Guy Fawkes / V-for-Vendetta mask, it's the one (and only one) used if the post anonymously box above the text entry box is ticked when you make the post.

Tick the box and it auto-selects from a list of one.

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Twitter mobs attack wrong celebrity Ian Watkins after child abuse case

Anonymous Custard
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Re: ah come on...

@ AC_101

I sit corrected (a little research turns up the link below, plus a few others on the story). Some Chinese whispering involved into my ears or possibly my recall, but the retribution against the innocent still occurred, albeit thankfully to a less serious extent than my first recollection.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4719364.stm

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: ah come on...

Indeed, although I think it rather pre-dates all the modern social media. It's just faster and more wide-reaching in its ineptitude these days.

Brings to mind a story I heard a while back about a hospital doctor who had her house torched 'cos some such "person" could tell the difference between a paedophile and a paediatrician...

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Moto G: Google's KitKat bruiser could knock out, bury Landfill Android

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

OS

Yet Android is very much like Windows 3.x was 20 years ago: nobody bought a PC for Windows 3.x, they bought it for the apps:

Umm isn't that entirely the point of the OS, be it on a phone, slab or PC - to support and offer the apps and/or functionality, from the background without getting in the way and with the minimum of fuss? It was true back then and it's true now, although the recent trends in OS's wanting to be in the forefront, hogging the limelight and getting in the way of actually using the devices productively sadly seem to be going against that trend.

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BBC's 3D blunder BLASTED OUR BRAINS – Doctor Who fans

Anonymous Custard
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Re: I've never understood the need for on-screen logos

Presumably the watermark if buried in the stream would be lost if any kind of screengrab/capture was used to "record" the programme, thus coverting it to a brand new file and also in the process removing any kind of DRM or other such restrictions.

They would probably argue that where it is is the least distracting position I guess. One thing though that is more irritating is those channels (not usually BBC ones I have to say) who have animated DOGs, either continuously or normally static with occasional bouts of movement. Those are really distracting and can even end up requiring a strategically stuck post-it note so the programme around it is more watchable.

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GALACTIC YO-YO: Doctor Who’s trips to Earth... and beyond

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Budget

I would wonder how that trace overlays with the show budget over the years (in normalised terms of course)? Presumably the Earthbound episodes would be a bit cheaper to produce (with set re-use or just location work) compared with specific sets and costuming for more alien stuff.

And with all these swings to the left and jumps to the right, are you sure we're not just doing the Time Warp (again)? ;)

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Build your own WORKING Sonic Screwdriver... for a UNDER A FIVER

Anonymous Custard
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Re: But, but, but

And plug awkward plot (and budget) holes?

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Are you experienced? The Doctor Who assistants that SUFFERED the most

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Missing experiences...

Forget Nyssa, it was more Peri almost continually falling out of her costumes that was more memorable...

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Anonymous Custard
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Childcatcher

Mel

and yet Mel and Harry undergo more trials and tribulations in a similar number of episodes.

Yes, but Mel was played by Bonnie Langford, so it can be considered karmic retribution for past career sins and torments inflicted (scream and scream and scream until I'm sick etc)...

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LG’s G2: The phondleslab that wants you to TOUCH ITS BEHIND

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Rear mounted controls

My first thought too, as well as it making cases bespoke and a bit tricky to achieve if they're to include any kind of belt clip or similar as well.

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Chromebook 11 CATCHES FIRE at last, FLIES off shelves

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Surely?

Or the definition of recursion:

Recursion (noun) : see recursion.

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PUNISHMENT gluttons: The Dr Who monsters that come back for more

Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

Daleks, last of the daleks and Davros

As we've got Davros separate from the Daleks, it's almost worth including the "last of the Daleks" also as a separate entity. Given that we seem to have seen the "last of the Daleks" at least 3-4 times in the reboot series, the concept (admittedly normally with a different individual pepperpot filling the role) has been seriously overworked to keep on shoe-horning the things in yet again.

Still, thank god for the small mercy that the crap new "modern" design of them seems to also have been quietly forgotten in lieu of the original classic one.

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The CURSE of WHO: WHY has there never been a decent videogame with the Doctor?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "No, I'm not buying that, it hasn't got a picture of Colin Baker on the front"

In fact probably quite the opposite.

Now if they'd slapped one of Nicola Bryant (Peri, his most "interesting" companion) on it then things might have been somewhat different.

But I guess we should count blessings that it wasn't Bonnie Langford on there too.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Other games parodied the Who

Or the similar character in Ultimate's Alien 8 - the top half an alien mouse thing and the bottom half a dalek bit (like Davros's).

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Internet Explorer 11 for Win7 bods: Soz, no HTML5 fun for you

Anonymous Custard
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The side-loaded flash support doesn't work under Chrome for Android, although it does (mostly) for Firefox (and i think others like Dolphin, but not 100% sure there as I use FF for the purpose on sites needing it).

At least it didn't used to, although if anyone knows different or how to get it to under Chrome I'd be more than happy to learn how and be corrected.

But the root cause was Adobe giving up on it rather than anyone else which triggered the withdrawal, as correctly noted above.

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Norks unlikely to beat the USA in the death-ray race

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Nothing to see here

I was just thinking that l'il Kim Jong Un's Lovefilm account probably has Ocean's 11 and GoldenEye on his recent playlist...

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Planet hopper: The Earthly destinations of Doctor Who

Anonymous Custard
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Diggin' the dirt

And what percentage of those visits have mysteriously also been in quarries?

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The 10 most INHUMAN bosses you'll encounter: A Reg reader's guide

Anonymous Custard
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Re: I think

Around here, that type of manager has an alternative definition.

Usually one of the higher-ups from the overseas or corporate head-offices who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything, pecks at a few things at random (often rather viciously) and then flies off again leaving chaos in their wake.

Sadly they're not so rare...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Team Leader

I can empathise (the last two words in my job title are "group leader"). It always brings to mind the cartoon of the "birds on a telegraph pole" management flow-chart (the link below).

The good old TL is in the middle - when they look down all they see is shit, and when they look up all they see are arseholes...

http://pinterestingideas4you.com/?p=614

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Anonymous Custard
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Garbage in Garbage Out

The worse one is Garbage in, Gospel out.

Something that has been "working" for a while, but either had a subtle bug in it or had one introduced on a later update which screwed up the output. Then it's not only the need to fix it, but the need to actually persuade the client that there is a problem that needs to be fixed. The old "it worked before" or "it's part of our established structure so we can't change it" scenario coming into play.

You then of course get the illogical evolution of that, where they recognise things need to be fixed but won't allow you to change anything. Hence the twin needs in your problem solving toolbox of a magic wand and a rather large lump hammer...

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Anonymous Custard
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No, often it's the incompetent are promoted. Usually to get them away from the customer side and to put someone useful in between who can filter things and pre-emptively repair much of the damage before it's done.

I guess it's to balance the competent ones who do get promoted and then are unable to spend any time doing the stuff that they're competent at as they now have so much administrivia to do first...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: And for your next trick ...

I have a variant, my boss is in one of our overseas offices, but his boss (and one of the company directors) is in the office next to my desk (I'm too much of a humble minion to warrant a boss-box).

It can actually work to advantage though, for both playing one off against the other or just cutting out the middle man/pre-arranging how the response downward to your boss will be from his boss.

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

No, you forgot missiled and sliced up with a large sword ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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Instead talk to this prat and “discover” a new problem that takes longer each time he asks. Or you can actively tell him how things are going, using the message passing design pattern to mediate his non-maskable interruptions.

Personally I find the response "do you want me to take time to talk about fixing the problem or just get on and actually do it?" or something along those lines (with more or less tact, depending on who you're talking too and how pissed off you are) usually works.

It's a good antithesis to those who like to have meetings about issues rather than fixing them (to make themselves look important and/or to cover the fact that they need to be seen to be giving input on an issue that they have no clue about).

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It's the Inter-THREAT of THINGS: Lightbulb ARMY could turn on HUMANITY

Anonymous Custard
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Thumb Down

At the same time, he warned, it was entirely feasible that miscreants could hack into your home illumination system to check usage. This could easily tip them off to when you’re likely to be home, or even whether you’re on holiday – and thus choose the optimum time to break in.

Or they could just look in the window and see when there's movement or activity, or just see when the car's on the drive and then test by knocking on the door? Would seem a damn sight easier (and with the advantage to the toerag that they're already then at your property too), or is that just too old-fashioned?

Plus somehow I think even in these modern times the intersection of people with both hacker and burglary skills (and the desire to use them) is probably rather small?

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Gigantic Apple MaxiPad spotted in China

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Foxconn is "currently doing the UI debugging"?

Or they ran out of glue to fill the thing up with, given the larger size and recent teardown reports of the new mini and air and how much of it was holding them together.

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Assistants

Would also be interesting to see a (clear) infographic about the turn-over of assistants that they each had.

Interesting to compare the stories where there was basically just the 'Doc plus a single companion to those where he had an entourage of almost diva proportions (although of course the Tennant story -The Stolen Earth I think it was - with the Daleks and the Tardis-full would unbalance things somewhat).

Or perhaps the average screen-time they had per Doctor?

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Fiery bits of Euro satellite to rain down on Earth this weekend

Anonymous Custard
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Happy

Re: Time to dust off ...

You realise I'm now going to have to dust off an emulator and boot up Manic Miner (for the Skylab Landing Bay level)...

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How I BLEW my co-workers' HEADS OFF ... without going to jail

Anonymous Custard
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Likewise I have one at home with a somewhat dodgy cable connection at the rear, leading to some quite interesting psychadelic patterns occasionally..

But a swift application of percussive maintenance normally does the trick (where is the requisite Hammer icon by the way?).

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Gissajob?

You clearly work in a more interesting office than I do. Or perhaps a more interesting reality, given it's Friday afternoon and nearly beer o'clock.

Can I have a job at your place?

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Four-year-old nipper triumphs

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Distress?

So does the Queen own Spanish swans too? Or are you considering all possible long-range flightpaths?

Enquiring minds need to know.

Top job on the scheme though, well done all round.

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Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Surface 2 runs between £359 and 3439.

Not to mention the dodgy key repeat, which has up'd the Hudl price from £119 to £199...

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LinkedIn: Obviously biz people DON'T use MS Exchange servers. REALLY?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Good

Not to mention the recent "revamp" of their website which has significantly lowered its usability and user-friendliness. Perhaps it's all part of a cunning plan to push us all towards the mobile apps, 'cos the standard web portal took a real nosedive for actually sorting, collating and finding stuff within your contact-base.

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Nice job, technology. Now we have to work FIVE TIMES HARDER

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Really?

You'll be telling us next that PC doesn't actually stand for "Problem Creator"...

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LOHAN's vital statistics splashed across fruity display

Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

RotM

I dunno, you add any more processing power to the thing it's going to become self-aware.

All it needs now though is another Pi especially programmed to take evasive action when confronted with trees, hillsides, pylons and other such attractants. Or at least to get itself down from them without intervention of meatsack and ladder.

Looks a nice bit of kit though - obligatory beer to be raised and suitable acronym name competition to follow I presume?

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Microsoft pulls Win 8.1 RT code which upgraded Surface 'slabs into BRICKS

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Bricked or somewhat confused.

Wouldn't the more appropriate phrase in this situation be "skateboarded" rather than bricked? Given that seems to be the preferred alternative lower-tech usage for the things...

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What the CUFF? Nokia shows how a smartwatch really OUGHT to work

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Interesting concept

Have a thumbs-up - that was my first thought too (with a quick respray to a manky brown colour)

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Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Got the same problem in reverse

I find young kids have the same effect, with the added issue that they're less self-sufficient and somewhat noiser too...

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Anonymous Custard
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Automation?

As a thought, if the mobile solution works other than for operator error, why not automate the process with an app like Tasker or AutomateIt? (for Android anyway, I'm sure there must be similar for iOS).

Then you could set things up nice and fancy based on calendar, timer and even perhaps location (GPS or connected wifi) so that it wakes you up using your preferred vibration/noise during weekdays only and only when you're at home.

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

‘rustling forest’

‘rustling forest’ has the effect of making me think my bedroom is on fire.

Well if that doesn't get you from horizontal slumbers to vertical alertness then nothing will...

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iPhone 5S autopsy shows WHY it can't tell which end is up – dev

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Re: .. Apple's latest uber-phone shifts gravity by as much as five degrees ...

Oh I dunno, I know a low-tech solution which seems to do it for me on a Friday night, although often by more than 5 degrees...

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