* Posts by Anonymous Custard

990 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Toyota catches up to William Gibson with LED hood

Anonymous Custard
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Re: What's a hood?

@MJI - be careful, you'll get strung-up for letting out secrets like that ;-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Attention getter

Looks like something out of the Disneyworld electric parade...

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IoT cup claims 'instant' identification of what's in it

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Actually, this may have a use.

It could be a good use for the device/concept, but it doesn't need an internet connection to do that does it? OK so you may need to plug it into a PC initially to set it up (so it knows what to try and detect), but aside from that no further need for talking to anyone except whoever is holding it.

OK there may be an argument for an alert system too, but that's probably overkill (no pun intended). Isn't the only person who really needs to know the one who's actually holding the thing, as it's them that would be affected (presuming we don't go mug-sharing).

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Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Are you..

I thought the sprog possessed a rather scary resemblance to Saville himself, which would probably also mean that various incarnations of Dr Who around that time may also have had some explaining to do...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: All rejoice!

And on the day of BofH outpourings too - we are doubly blessed...

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Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

What is it about Star Wars and doors?

Not only too fast but also not high enough, leading to the infamous stormtrooper headbanger.

Probably explains all the armour when inside their own space-station (or is it a small moon?). I'm sure the Emporer's evil elf n safety minions would be right on it too...

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NASA scrubs FLYING SAUCER over Hawaii ballocket mission

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Murphy says...

And why is it that whenever I'm on a project that gets such delays and stop-overs, it's always in some godforsaken place with grotty weather and horrible hotels?

Why is it never somewhere like Hawaii as these guys are having to endure? I'm sure that I could just about put up with a couple of weeks of doing nothing around there just waiting for the wind to blow...

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Anonymous Custard
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If it's not a silly question..

...why not just use a ship to launch it? OK it's a largish bit of kit, but it's not that big.

Then you can more or less pick your launch site, away from everything except the ship itself, which can of course move if required.

That way also you've also got a craft on-station ready to recover the bits that come down again after the test (presuming they don't end up in a jetstream and go off looking for trees to come down in) and generally not add to the growing trash island a bit to the west.

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US MARTIAN FLYING SAUCER tests above Hawaii: postponed

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Bah!

Given the scale, I'd think Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" would perhaps be more appropriate.

I mean of course the superb original version, not the dismal remake...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Is it just my imagination?

Or does that thing look like the worlds largest and most high tech jet propelled custard pie?

Given my handle around here I have a vested interest in such matters ;)

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Texan parks quadcopter atop Dallas Cowboys stadium

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Fuck me!

You think that one's impressive, look at the Arizona Cardinals one. Its playing field is on a huge tray, and after the game it's wheeled outside the stadium into the open for better growing conditions for the grass.

Saw a programme about it not so long ago on Discovery Channel - it's seriously impressive to watch.

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The Force of tax breaks brings Star Wars filming to Blighty

Anonymous Custard
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Odd synchronicity

I heard this last night whilst Episode II was playing on the TV, at the point where they were railroaded into voting the Chancellor (Palpatine, not Osborne) extra powers and he's going on about how he's going to use them to create an army and whatnot.

It made me chuckle at the perfect timing and synchronicity of it all. And it also nicely distracted from Jar Jar Binks, which never hurts in those movies...

You can make your own jokes at this point about evil Chancellors :)

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FLYING SAUCER 'designed for Mars atmosphere' in Pacific US military base

Anonymous Custard
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Our calculation suggest...

Our calculations suggest the unit would easily allow a plucky Playmonaut to slip the surly bonds of Earth and then some.

Yes, but where are you going to find a tree big enough for it to get tangled up in when it does come down? Still at least if it came down in the drink you'd have a chance of finding it.

In fond memory of our heroic and sadly missed pioneer...

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New Apple iOS to help fanbois thwart Wi-Fi network spies

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Alternative Title @ J J Carter

Interesting, so why does Apple not use the software defined MAC address for the wifi connection as well as the scanning?

As an additional security measure, routers can be set up to filter MAC addresses and only allow known and approved ones to connect. It's how I have my one at home set up ( in addition to the normal encryption and passwords etc), as an additional layer of mischief prevention.

So if I had a device which gave a random MAC every time it tried to connect, then basically either the above would need to be turned off, or more likely it'd swiftly get the boot.

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Brit lands on Rockall with survival podule, starts record attempt

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Best luck to him

The question is whether he hates footie and decided to avoid all the World Cup stuff, or he's a sneaky fan, and took a solar (or wave) powered telly and stash of snacks for the ultimate in interruption-free game enjoyment...?

Good luck to him either way!

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Anonymous Custard
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Thumb Up

No longer f**k-all on Rockall?

Damn, with a bit more warning and preparation we could have re-opened the Rockall Post Office again!

That raised some good money for charity from Lester et al's run up there in 2005 - double-damn was that really almost a decade ago?!?

Anyway best of luck to one man and his pod...

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Boffin fights fire with EXPLOSIVES instead of water

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Hang on...

Do they not get Discovery channel in Australia, and so are denied access to that fundamental research tool known as Mythbusters?

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Cisco reboots PC with $1500 'Scandafornian' Android fondleslab

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

"CEO-Level tablet"

I thought this was the CEO-level tablet of choice?

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Time-rich Brit boffin demos DIY crazytech WOLVERINE talons

Anonymous Custard
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Re: For Lotus F1 Team the winning edge starts with the cloud powered by Microsoft Dynamics...

Given how badly they are doing this season (4 points out of 4 races so far, for an 8th place in Spain, and half of those due to a disqualification of someone else) I wonder if there's someone else in Redmond that's nervously looking out for knives. So seems altogether appropriate for this article topic, and maybe an opportunity for our featured chap.

If it gets any worse the "winning edge" part may become false advertising. Although any comparisons between the fortunes of the advertiser and advertisee are strictly your own ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

50 ways to...

he skewers the head of a blow-up Mystique doll

Well it's certainly a novel (or Marvel), if somewhat extreme way to break up with your girlfriend...

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'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

isn't Thruth more a Chinese accent as opposed to a Korean one ?

Sounds more Transylvanian to me.

And it's pronounced Igor!

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Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Anonymous Custard
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There's Oolite, Pioneer and even a BBC emulator in ajavscript (which can run Elite).

And to continue the literary parallel, there's the Oolite Saga mirroring Oolite, plus of course Drew's Elite: Reclamation novel itself which is due out in a couple of weeks time from his website.

http://www.drewwagar.com

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Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Elite: Reclamation

There's also another official book due out imminently, Elite: Reclamation by Drew Wagar (writer of the Oolite Saga and several other worthy tomes).

Due out at the end of the month, and with the distinction of itself being funded by a Kickstarter.

Details are available from his website

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Anonymous Custard
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Re: explorer %temp%

Hmm, on my work machine %temp% opens up "My Documents".

I wonder if they're trying to tell me something here...?

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Cloud Wars!

Aren't you a little short for a sysadmin?

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Curiosity GOUGES AND SCORCHES Mars with drill and laser

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Keep Out cones?

Always wondered how Bernard Cribbins could see into the future; now I know!

Dr Who has a lot to answer for...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: A row of dots is boring.

Nah, should have drawn a tail, some ears and some whiskers on it, and then shot it.

That way Curiosity could really have killed the cat...

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Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Where is the Mars-shattering kaboom?

I can sell you this lovely Martian condo - has a beautiful unobstructed view of Venus (or would have if that pesky Earth didn't keep getting in the way).

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Honey, the satnav app says you're to leave at 6am... Yup. I'll have that coffee off you

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Hey Galaxy! Wake me...

Now if they could just figure out a way to make it do my work when I get there...

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Now that's PROPER SCIENCE: Boffins teach robo-arm to catch flying beer bottle

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Catch unconsciously?

...necessary to catch a ball unconsciously*

You maybe mean subconsciously, rather than unconsciously?

Or are you versed at catching things when you're asleep or out cold, movie-ninja stylie?

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Virtually yours: Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

Anonymous Custard
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Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

As opposed to Windows-as-a-punishment or Windows-as-an-ordeal?

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Microsoft blinks, extends Windows 8.1 Update deadline for consumers

Anonymous Custard
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Microsoft minutes?

So the time that will elapse until a Microsoft deadline is measured in a similar elastic fashion to the units used to measure the download times under IE, or file transfer times under explorer?

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LA air traffic meltdown: System simply 'RAN OUT OF MEMORY'

Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Re: Over their heads...

That's what they want you to think... :-)

Forget the logo, I'd prefer the content of some of those jumpsuits...

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Anonymous Custard
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Over their heads...

Please, no-one tell it about the ISS, or for that matter the moon and the rest of the universe up there.

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Mae Microsoft yn addysgu Swyddfa, Bing, siarad Cymraeg*

Anonymous Custard
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Re: The main point to remember here is...

And if your looking for a closer example, what do English people call a small bread item ideally shaped to contain cooked bacon?

Personally I call it breakfast, at least as often as I can get away with one when it does contain aforesaid pig slices...

Although around here you should probably call it the beginning of a whole new parallel argument (based on past experience anyway, especially if you include sauce and accompanying beverage of choice).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Araf (*)

Obviously, you never see a Fast Araf. Quicker than the human eye....

@dogged - if you go to Hong Kong (or New York), you can occasionally see them working as mild mannered janitors...

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Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: we have lost something along the way

Therein lies the problem: with all the power of mobile networking at your fingertips, you chose to read 'Something for the Weekend, Sir?' on a Friday afternoon.

Are you trying to imply there's something better to do on a Friday afternoon whilst waiting for beer O'clock? The only other candidate I can bring to mind is BOfH, as and when Simon gets motivated enough to produce something...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Gone but not forgotten....

I'm in a slightly worse boat - our Dell laptops also have the swappable drives, but the company refused to buy any of the floppy drives (and didn't ask us about it). So when the new laptops arrived and we all complained, pointing out that most of our old equipment only had floppy drives in it to save data off (semiconductor manufacturing equipment, ironically enough) we were suddenly given the old floppy drives from our previous laptops back.

Unfortunately the old ones don't actually fit in the bays of the new laptops, so we have to use them externally via a mini-USB cable. Still at least our USB ports are open (although they did threaten to disable them a while back, having learned nothing from the previous debacle until we all revolted and suddenly that plan got cancelled), although the SD card reader to this day is still disabled (and even pointing out that a quid down the pound-shop will buy you a USB card reader didn't get them revived). Some days we wonder if they actually realise we're supposed to be able to actually use these things for business purposes, rather than just for ornamentation.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: ubie

I said I was showing my age, not that I was that old ;) Although to be fair, the PC the thesis was actually written on was a 386 with (I think) a 200MB or so HD. And when it was doing some of the Coreldraw stuff it had to be assisted by a little beaker of liquid Nitrogen stood beside the air intake or it had a tendency to overheating and going ga-ga (said PhD was of the Physics persuasion).

But I'm certainly of the generation when cassettes (and the ZX81, Spectrum or the C64, depending on your personal persuasion) ruled, at least at home.

So we have to ask, do I have to take the blame for stirring up all this nostalgia, or can I pass that up to Dabbsy? Always a fun way to spend your Friday afternoon until beer o'clock, certainly beats doing any work anyway...

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Anonymous Custard
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Especially when the second-to-last one always became corrupted and/or unreadable and you lost the last hour or so's work on disc-swapping...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy...

People still don't believe me when I tell them that my 200ish page PhD thesis (from just under 20 years ago) fitted on two floppy discs (one for the doc and the other for graphics files). Written in LaTeX, with PS graphics from Coreldraw, so the main body of the file was basically a glorified text file which zip'd down nicely.

It was always amusing when people who were using WordPerfect and the early MS efforts (the ones that would evolve into Word) used to praise them initially, before wondering both why they were running out of server/hard disc space (remembering that HD's back then were struggling to get above the single-digit Gigabyte level, at least at Uni) and how they could recover their work when the file got corrupted, of course just after they'd done a lot of work but just before they'd backed it up (some things never change).

Bah, I'm showing my age now I guess (having more storage space on my keyring today than the entire department would have had back then), but then I've also got the obligatory zip disc drive beside my desktop machine at home (not that it's been used in many a year and is quite a good dust magnet).

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Windows XP market share decline stalls, Mac OS X surges

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Are old XP machines being upgraded/replaced, or simply retired?

I'm in the same boat - have an old frankenstein desktop machine at home which is basically built out of the remains of a few others (the case says "Tiny PCs" on it, in case you want a heritage yardstick) and it chugs along nicely under XP. It does what I need it to do, getting booted up roughly once a week for a few odd jobs.

For the day to day stuff there are a couple of laptops around the house (running Win7) plus a few tablets (Android) which more than suffice. So the old desktop machine just provides a bit of a back-up in case of need, but I can neither really justify updating it (I doubt the hardware would support Win8.1) nor justify chucking it (as it still works fine, if a bit slow compared to its newer siblings).

Hence it'll probably continue to rumble on in the background until it does have a catastrophic failure somewhere, but until then why not? It is fully patched up to the cut-off, and has AV/firewall from another vendor who are supporting it still (and it's also behind a router firewall anyway, and it doesn't venture off the beaten track to more dodgy areas of the web).

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El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse back on the bacon

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "Neil Barnes and missus Anita"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Good_Life_(The_Twilight_Zone)

The "It's a Good Life" episode, where he played the little kid with the mental powers to do almost anything. I think the Simpsons also parodied it in one of the early Treehouse of Horror episodes.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Rice

A little more time and effort to make, and in my experience a lot more effort not to just eat the whole lot in one go as it's so tasty (at least home-made bread around our house has that longevity issue...) .

One thing I was surprised didn't feature more was soups. It's something that herself at home makes routinely (we have one of those soup makers that's the offspring of a blender and a kettle), and for not much you get 3-4 portions of delicious and healthy soup. Quite commonly we pick up the dodgy looking or close-to-date bags of veg from Tesco and bung them through it to make "fridge bottom" soup (carrot, parsnip, a potato or two plus whatever else might be around the shelf like peppers, tomatoes, cauli's or brocolli).

Tastes lovely, and would go a treat with a slice or two of your sourdough I bet. And now I'm off to munch on some of today's batch, sadly sans bread.

@Neil - why hasn't Lester got you a Gold badge yet? For all your stirling LOHAN work plus this, I'd have thought it'd be mandatory by now?

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Traffic light vulns leave doors wide open to Italian Job-style hacks

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Hack away you can't do worse than Bristol City Council

Sounds horribly familiar. We've got a few gyratory roundabouts around here (Crawley) which have numerous sets of lights on them. You can always tell when they conk out (roughly once or twice a year on average), as the traffic flow improves markedly and journey times decrease by about 10 minutes going across town.

But do they learn? No, they fix them and normal delayed service is resumed...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Hmm, I now have the mental image of cars chasing about and utter traffic chaos, all overlaid with the soundtrack of Yakkety Sax.

So much for getting any work done today...

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Norwegians trial Oculus Rift in tanks: The ultimate battlefield simulator

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Internet of tanks?

Or combine the two, and just overlay the ads on the enemy as a greater incentive to shoot them?

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Brain surgery? Would sir care for a CHOC-ICE with that?

Anonymous Custard
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From my experience it's more IT a few years back got redefined from "can program, write code, debug things and produce something useful" to "can work a computer and knows how to make something bold in Word and make a Powerpoint presentation look all whizzy and animated". Hence the IT degrees either slid down to be social science/media ones (at worst) or the uni's had to spend at least the first year actually teaching people what they should already know (at best).

I can see it with the education my kids are currently getting. They have all sorts of PCs, tablets and other media stuff in the school, and the closest they get to IT is Powerpoint. I do my best to remedy this at home rather than my taxes doing it, but it does sometimes seem like buying a dog and barking myself.

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