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* Posts by Anonymous Custard

870 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

isn't Thruth more a Chinese accent as opposed to a Korean one ?

Sounds more Transylvanian to me.

And it's pronounced Igor!

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Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Anonymous Custard
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There's Oolite, Pioneer and even a BBC emulator in ajavscript (which can run Elite).

And to continue the literary parallel, there's the Oolite Saga mirroring Oolite, plus of course Drew's Elite: Reclamation novel itself which is due out in a couple of weeks time from his website.

http://www.drewwagar.com

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Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Elite: Reclamation

There's also another official book due out imminently, Elite: Reclamation by Drew Wagar (writer of the Oolite Saga and several other worthy tomes).

Due out at the end of the month, and with the distinction of itself being funded by a Kickstarter.

Details are available from his website

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Time-rich Brit boffin demos DIY crazytech WOLVERINE talons

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

50 ways to...

he skewers the head of a blow-up Mystique doll

Well it's certainly a novel (or Marvel), if somewhat extreme way to break up with your girlfriend...

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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Anonymous Custard
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Re: explorer %temp%

Hmm, on my work machine %temp% opens up "My Documents".

I wonder if they're trying to tell me something here...?

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Cloud Wars!

Aren't you a little short for a sysadmin?

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Curiosity GOUGES AND SCORCHES Mars with drill and laser

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Keep Out cones?

Always wondered how Bernard Cribbins could see into the future; now I know!

Dr Who has a lot to answer for...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: A row of dots is boring.

Nah, should have drawn a tail, some ears and some whiskers on it, and then shot it.

That way Curiosity could really have killed the cat...

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Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Where is the Mars-shattering kaboom?

I can sell you this lovely Martian condo - has a beautiful unobstructed view of Venus (or would have if that pesky Earth didn't keep getting in the way).

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Honey, the satnav app says you're to leave at 6am... Yup. I'll have that coffee off you

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Hey Galaxy! Wake me...

Now if they could just figure out a way to make it do my work when I get there...

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Now that's PROPER SCIENCE: Boffins teach robo-arm to catch flying beer bottle

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Catch unconsciously?

...necessary to catch a ball unconsciously*

You maybe mean subconsciously, rather than unconsciously?

Or are you versed at catching things when you're asleep or out cold, movie-ninja stylie?

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Virtually yours: Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

Microsoft unveils Windows-as-a-service

As opposed to Windows-as-a-punishment or Windows-as-an-ordeal?

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Microsoft blinks, extends Windows 8.1 Update deadline for consumers

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Microsoft minutes?

So the time that will elapse until a Microsoft deadline is measured in a similar elastic fashion to the units used to measure the download times under IE, or file transfer times under explorer?

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LA air traffic meltdown: System simply 'RAN OUT OF MEMORY'

Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Re: Over their heads...

That's what they want you to think... :-)

Forget the logo, I'd prefer the content of some of those jumpsuits...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Over their heads...

Please, no-one tell it about the ISS, or for that matter the moon and the rest of the universe up there.

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Mae Microsoft yn addysgu Swyddfa, Bing, siarad Cymraeg*

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: The main point to remember here is...

And if your looking for a closer example, what do English people call a small bread item ideally shaped to contain cooked bacon?

Personally I call it breakfast, at least as often as I can get away with one when it does contain aforesaid pig slices...

Although around here you should probably call it the beginning of a whole new parallel argument (based on past experience anyway, especially if you include sauce and accompanying beverage of choice).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Araf (*)

Obviously, you never see a Fast Araf. Quicker than the human eye....

@dogged - if you go to Hong Kong (or New York), you can occasionally see them working as mild mannered janitors...

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Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: we have lost something along the way

Therein lies the problem: with all the power of mobile networking at your fingertips, you chose to read 'Something for the Weekend, Sir?' on a Friday afternoon.

Are you trying to imply there's something better to do on a Friday afternoon whilst waiting for beer O'clock? The only other candidate I can bring to mind is BOfH, as and when Simon gets motivated enough to produce something...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Gone but not forgotten....

I'm in a slightly worse boat - our Dell laptops also have the swappable drives, but the company refused to buy any of the floppy drives (and didn't ask us about it). So when the new laptops arrived and we all complained, pointing out that most of our old equipment only had floppy drives in it to save data off (semiconductor manufacturing equipment, ironically enough) we were suddenly given the old floppy drives from our previous laptops back.

Unfortunately the old ones don't actually fit in the bays of the new laptops, so we have to use them externally via a mini-USB cable. Still at least our USB ports are open (although they did threaten to disable them a while back, having learned nothing from the previous debacle until we all revolted and suddenly that plan got cancelled), although the SD card reader to this day is still disabled (and even pointing out that a quid down the pound-shop will buy you a USB card reader didn't get them revived). Some days we wonder if they actually realise we're supposed to be able to actually use these things for business purposes, rather than just for ornamentation.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: ubie

I said I was showing my age, not that I was that old ;) Although to be fair, the PC the thesis was actually written on was a 386 with (I think) a 200MB or so HD. And when it was doing some of the Coreldraw stuff it had to be assisted by a little beaker of liquid Nitrogen stood beside the air intake or it had a tendency to overheating and going ga-ga (said PhD was of the Physics persuasion).

But I'm certainly of the generation when cassettes (and the ZX81, Spectrum or the C64, depending on your personal persuasion) ruled, at least at home.

So we have to ask, do I have to take the blame for stirring up all this nostalgia, or can I pass that up to Dabbsy? Always a fun way to spend your Friday afternoon until beer o'clock, certainly beats doing any work anyway...

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Anonymous Custard
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Especially when the second-to-last one always became corrupted and/or unreadable and you lost the last hour or so's work on disc-swapping...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy...

People still don't believe me when I tell them that my 200ish page PhD thesis (from just under 20 years ago) fitted on two floppy discs (one for the doc and the other for graphics files). Written in LaTeX, with PS graphics from Coreldraw, so the main body of the file was basically a glorified text file which zip'd down nicely.

It was always amusing when people who were using WordPerfect and the early MS efforts (the ones that would evolve into Word) used to praise them initially, before wondering both why they were running out of server/hard disc space (remembering that HD's back then were struggling to get above the single-digit Gigabyte level, at least at Uni) and how they could recover their work when the file got corrupted, of course just after they'd done a lot of work but just before they'd backed it up (some things never change).

Bah, I'm showing my age now I guess (having more storage space on my keyring today than the entire department would have had back then), but then I've also got the obligatory zip disc drive beside my desktop machine at home (not that it's been used in many a year and is quite a good dust magnet).

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Windows XP market share decline stalls, Mac OS X surges

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Are old XP machines being upgraded/replaced, or simply retired?

I'm in the same boat - have an old frankenstein desktop machine at home which is basically built out of the remains of a few others (the case says "Tiny PCs" on it, in case you want a heritage yardstick) and it chugs along nicely under XP. It does what I need it to do, getting booted up roughly once a week for a few odd jobs.

For the day to day stuff there are a couple of laptops around the house (running Win7) plus a few tablets (Android) which more than suffice. So the old desktop machine just provides a bit of a back-up in case of need, but I can neither really justify updating it (I doubt the hardware would support Win8.1) nor justify chucking it (as it still works fine, if a bit slow compared to its newer siblings).

Hence it'll probably continue to rumble on in the background until it does have a catastrophic failure somewhere, but until then why not? It is fully patched up to the cut-off, and has AV/firewall from another vendor who are supporting it still (and it's also behind a router firewall anyway, and it doesn't venture off the beaten track to more dodgy areas of the web).

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El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse back on the bacon

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "Neil Barnes and missus Anita"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Good_Life_(The_Twilight_Zone)

The "It's a Good Life" episode, where he played the little kid with the mental powers to do almost anything. I think the Simpsons also parodied it in one of the early Treehouse of Horror episodes.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Rice

A little more time and effort to make, and in my experience a lot more effort not to just eat the whole lot in one go as it's so tasty (at least home-made bread around our house has that longevity issue...) .

One thing I was surprised didn't feature more was soups. It's something that herself at home makes routinely (we have one of those soup makers that's the offspring of a blender and a kettle), and for not much you get 3-4 portions of delicious and healthy soup. Quite commonly we pick up the dodgy looking or close-to-date bags of veg from Tesco and bung them through it to make "fridge bottom" soup (carrot, parsnip, a potato or two plus whatever else might be around the shelf like peppers, tomatoes, cauli's or brocolli).

Tastes lovely, and would go a treat with a slice or two of your sourdough I bet. And now I'm off to munch on some of today's batch, sadly sans bread.

@Neil - why hasn't Lester got you a Gold badge yet? For all your stirling LOHAN work plus this, I'd have thought it'd be mandatory by now?

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Traffic light vulns leave doors wide open to Italian Job-style hacks

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Hack away you can't do worse than Bristol City Council

Sounds horribly familiar. We've got a few gyratory roundabouts around here (Crawley) which have numerous sets of lights on them. You can always tell when they conk out (roughly once or twice a year on average), as the traffic flow improves markedly and journey times decrease by about 10 minutes going across town.

But do they learn? No, they fix them and normal delayed service is resumed...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Hmm, I now have the mental image of cars chasing about and utter traffic chaos, all overlaid with the soundtrack of Yakkety Sax.

So much for getting any work done today...

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Norwegians trial Oculus Rift in tanks: The ultimate battlefield simulator

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Internet of tanks?

Or combine the two, and just overlay the ads on the enemy as a greater incentive to shoot them?

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Brain surgery? Would sir care for a CHOC-ICE with that?

Anonymous Custard
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From my experience it's more IT a few years back got redefined from "can program, write code, debug things and produce something useful" to "can work a computer and knows how to make something bold in Word and make a Powerpoint presentation look all whizzy and animated". Hence the IT degrees either slid down to be social science/media ones (at worst) or the uni's had to spend at least the first year actually teaching people what they should already know (at best).

I can see it with the education my kids are currently getting. They have all sorts of PCs, tablets and other media stuff in the school, and the closest they get to IT is Powerpoint. I do my best to remedy this at home rather than my taxes doing it, but it does sometimes seem like buying a dog and barking myself.

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Why aren't we being offered telephoen number salaries and huge bonuses like bankers?

Unfortunately we're just the ones who have to keep things running, and keep managers promises. We only become visible when the brown stuff impacts the whirly thing, at which point talking about a pay rise isn't really opportune.

Normally the only way to be appreciated is posthumously (job-wise) when you either quit in disgust or get punted, which again isn't really the best time for a salary review...

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Anonymous Custard
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Pirate

Re: Erm

It's even more fun swapping it back a couple of weeks afterwards, once everyone has lost their tolerance to caffeine...

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Bankrupt Bitcoin bunker blender begins: MtGox admin starts liquefaction

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Missing bitdosh

I'm tempted to put a bid in for their sofa, just so I can look down the back of it and see what might turn up there...

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Smuggled Inn?

However, one disgusted local chap declared: "Mi nuh wan' dat deh phone fi use again, mi would dash it weh."

Hang on - they had mobile phones in Jamaica Inn? Or did I mishear you?

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Shut up, Siri, I'm watching telly! iOS 7.1 code reveals new role for Apple's PA

Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Re: "Gary Busey!"

It's when they start talking back that you need to worry...

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AOL Mail locks down email servers to deal with spam tsunami

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Lock down?

Talktalk's email system sits atop AOL's (you can log into it via their own website or AOLs). Any email that gets delivered to talktalk also sits in an AOL mirror, and can be read/deleted etc separately.

Whether that makes the situation better or worse I'll leave as an exercise to the reader (speaking as a Talktalk customer who uses the AOL version sometimes as a failsafe backup if I've deleted an email that I then need again).

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WTF happened to Pac-Man?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Robotron!!!! Most insane game

All of Minter's Llamasoft games were insane. Fond memories (too many years ago!) of playing them on my old Vic-20, C64 and Speccie. Stuff flying everywhere at manic speed, dying quite quickly but always wanting to go just that little bit further. Some good tunes on the C64 one too if I remember well.

Definitely Robotron inspired, and absolute classic. I feel an emulator evening coming on...

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Happy 25th birthday, Game Boy!

Anonymous Custard
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Happy

Hand-held control

And of course, even today at work (semiconductor manufacturing equipment, appropriately enough) all of the hand-held teaching and control units for the tools are always referred to as gameboys...

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Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

I wish...

I wish my car was that plucky and reliable, rather than just being similarly dirty...

An Easter pint to the true survivor though.

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Isn't the sea ...

Yup. "Up from the depths, 30 stories high..." (at least that was the kids cartoon one from when I was a nipper, which is now going to be today's ear-worm).

And we can forget sharks with frikkin laser beams on their heads. We'll now have Pacific sharks with laser beam eyes...

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Kingston DataTraveler MicroDuo: Turn your phone into a 72GB beast

Anonymous Custard
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Re: MicroSD

On my 4.4.2 Kitkat N7 (2012) the media importer app is still required for USB OTG.

Somehow I don't see that changing whilst Google are trying to flog paid subscription to their cloud drive...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: I wonder...

Which Ravpower device?

My RP Filehub will happily power a WD MyPassport hard drive through its USB port as well as hosting an SD card, acting as a portable WiFi NAS for my HTC 8X and Nexus7...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: worried about damaging the USB port

there's no reason why idiot phone makers couldn't do that instead of sticking in 8 or 16 Gb

Unfortunately in reality there is reason, namely if punters who know no better are willing to pony-up 3x the price for it to be built-in. Or that they can then sell their own cloud storage solution as an alternative, thus generating their own captive market (looking at you Google and Amazon).

There shouldn't be a reason, but greed and profit will trump any kind of logic like that.

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Anonymous Custard
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Even cheaper?

Or alternatively go on Amazon or wherever for an OTG cable for a couple of quid, then just use one of the many full-sized USB thumb drives that most people already own?

This thing makes sense if it's going to be (semi-)permanently stuck in the phone or if you are in the market for a new thumb drive for whatever reason, but from experience for most uses just hooking up to a cable works well too and saves buying yet another drive.

That said for general travelling I use a Ravpower filehub and a WD hard drive, which turns both my Windows Phone and my Nexus7 (and my work laptop) into shared 2TB wifi beasties instead.

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Reg gets sneak peek of Getac's chunky TOUGH AS NAILS 8.1-incher

Anonymous Custard
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Holiday reading

but with that dust and splash protection, it’ll certainly prove its worth on the beach.

So it'll have a ready-market for those management types who can't take more than 10 minutes off from their emails for fear that either the company will grind to a halt, or more likely that it won't and quite how little contribution they actually make might be noticed.

Proof against sun, sea and sand and chunky enough to be used as a blunt instrument by their exasperated spouses fed up with being ignored for the sake of that last email no doubt.

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Borked Bitcoin bunker MtGox in administration: Lawyer seizes control

Anonymous Custard
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At least this time it won't be the normal stooge of J Random Taxpayer, aka you and me...

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KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: @Big John Obligatory...

where are the meatballs?

Maybe this prophet and messiah is female?

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LOHAN's Punch and Judy show: The big fat round-up

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

...with the balloon up a tree...

...with the balloon up a tree...

So at least something went as you would expect it to have done... :)

Anyway nice one lads, beers and bacon butties all round (and one of the latter for me, great name for the launch site too btw).

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Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Anonymous Custard
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Re: That's better than I expected then

Not everyone has something interesting to say,

...but sadly in some higher profile cases, that doesn't stop them doing so anyway.

The missus is one of the silent majority, but only because the kids school decided it would be the best way to send out updates etc when they are off on school trips etc. Makes sense as a notification board type use, but of course is rather sporadic and occasional.

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Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys

Anonymous Custard
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Village knight?

included knights, native Americans and builders - a combination not seen again until the rise of the Village People a few years afterwards.

Umm ok for the builder and the Native American, but there was never an armoured village person was there? Cop or a GI/solider yes, but never a knight that I can recall?

And on this subject, SPB aside, where have all the Playmobil reconstructions gone from el-Reg lately anyway??? But the Jetbag Speed racer figurine (it's what it says on his chest, honest guv) which is currently sat on my monitor stand here gladly accepted the birthday wishes :)

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