* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1464 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Brit geeks craft bijou Pi Zero gaming controller

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Life in the slow lane?

I would tend to agree, although in my case I just want the board, as I have two Zero's at home.

From what I've seen in interviews with Ebon Upton, the Zero's are being "fitted in" around the production of the Pi3 (and Pi2), but as they're much simpler boards and only single sided, the Pi3 isn't actually causing any significant delays that weren't there already with the Pi2.

There are plans to up production of the Zero too, and so he said they are catching up quite well with the backlog, so who knows they may be lucky? Apparently the key point is that Farnell aren't involved with the manufacture of the Zero, only with the larger boards. Hence why it's being "fitted in" rather than mainstream productioned (and of course the popularity of it took everyone by surprise).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Emulation on the Pi

Retro Pie is better I'd say, as it includes that plus a few other emulators and options too. And a nice simple SD card image download and burn, if you don't even want the hassle of installing it yourself.

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Anonymous Custard
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Life in the slow lane?

This one's been around on there for a few weeks now, and so far they've managed a spectacular 11% funding of their target. Must say I'm a bit surprised about how slow it's gone, given how popular this kind of thing tends to be .

I'm already one of the 30 or so who have got it that far, but I think sadly even with the sterling promotional support of el reg they might struggle to hit their target, let alone that crazy stretch goal target.

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You say I mustn’t write down my password? Let me make a note of that

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

If they were doing it right they'd just swap all the notes around with those stuck on other random monitors around the place (which may or may not have had password post-its on them themselves originally), and then watch as people have to track down their own passwords and some of the ensuing bartering and bastardry that goes on.

Brings back all-too distant memories of schooldays, when the foolish comp-sci master gave me admin privs on the server. Two others in the class (who hated one another) found out and spent days pestering me to give them the password of the other. So I duly did - I swapped them over and just told each that they now had the others password.

Cue a Mexican stand-off that the whole class enjoyed, including the master who was going to bollock me for doing it but couldn't keep a straight face long enough to do so, and then privately told me it was one he'd use himself in similar future situations.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Clear Desk

Around here all a clear desk earns you is being the ground zero dropzone for all the incoming parcels of parts and stuff that reception bring in and just dump on the closest available area, even if they have nothing to do with you nor are you the intended recipient on the address label.

This does of course always occur just prior to a SMBWA ("safety management by walking around", or colloquially "some muppet bloody wandering aimlessly") audit, most commonly when you're out of the office on the customer site actually doing the work that keeps everyone else in employment and wages.

The trick is of course keeping your desk cluttered enough to dissuade the above (and to appear that you actually do some work), but not full enough to incur the wrath of those with nothing more profitable or useful to do than make such audits.

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Austrian mayor spunks €40k on virgin-eating dragon

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

No, that describes the clients, not the consultants...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: I was quite impressed . .

I have no artistic talents that I am aware of...

Looking at the return on that 40K investment, I don't think you're alone in that camp...

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Knackered Euro server turns Panasonic smart TVs into dumb TVs

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Given most of these apps can happily run on something as powerful as a USB stick or a Raspberry Pi, which do you think it is...?

Dumb TVs and smart(ish) bolt-on boxes all the way.

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PARIS paper plane lands in Spanish school textbook

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

You mean they don't already?

Or is it just we SPB enthusiasts and commentards?

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Just wait til you get home

Lester, you do realise just how much trouble you're going to be in for reprinting that 6 year old picture of the illustrious apprentice boffin, don't you?

At least if she's anything like my proto-teenager semi-boffin first-born and her self-image control...

Top marks for getting into literature though. Maybe the next step is an English (ish) language version for the American market, to subvert their youth into pestering the FAA?

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Brit firm unleashes drone-busting net cannon

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Iron Ass?

"entanglement with "ECM jamming".

Can you mount it on a Cobra 3 to take down incoming hard-heads?

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Everything bad in the world can be traced to crap Wi-Fi

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: On the one hand...

Given that he had the fallback option of doing it from print-outs, I'd say he was suspiciously prepared for it...

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Amazon Shocker: Firm recalls Fire and Fire Kids power adapters

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Turning it up to 11...

"Microsoft confirmed that power chords sold with the first, second and third generations of the Surface Pro"

Certainly not music to Microsoft's ears, those power chords. Too reminiscent of the 90's poodle-haired rockers. Especially if the power cord falls out...

Still it could have been worse, it could have been a U2 album.

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Google risks everything if it doesn’t grab Android round the throat

Anonymous Custard
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Re: DIY

I'm still wondering when the official OTA update for my Galaxy Tab S2 is going to be available in the UK - the current version is still 5.0.2, let alone Marshmallow.

Somewhat strange given most other regions have 5.1.1, and indeed an Odin sideload of it onto mine is working fine.

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Spanish cops discover illegally parked flying car

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Bah!

If it is then forget the flying car, I want that invisible garage...

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

It's even easier with 2CVs (or certainly was back in the mid-90's) - with a little gentle persuasion they dismantle so easily and are quite simple to carry up corridors, stairs and through skylights.

Not that we ever did it to the beloved pride and joy of the annoying git in our halls of residence, oh no officer...

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Barking spider prompts Spanish clan shoot-out

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Educational

I now realise that I just learned a couple of new slang phrases that with hindsight I realise that I probably didn't want to know.

Guess that just makes me an old fart...

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There’s a module for that: LG launches G5 smartphone complete with 'friends'

Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

Re: Does the person demoing it look like a...

Or judging by the picture from the article, you too can look like Bender from Futurama...

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NASA stormed by 18,000 wannabe 'nauts

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Peake's in spaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccceeeeeeeeee

Well at least we can already say we've achieved Peake astronaut with Major Tim...

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Samsung now pushing Marshmallows into the Galaxy S6, Edge

Anonymous Custard
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And tablets?

I'm still wondering when my Tab S2 is going to actually "officially" get 5.1.1 in the UK, let alone Marshmallow.

It's out as an OTA update in other regions, but the UK still seems to be on 5.0.2 for some reason. Not sure why as I've upgraded mine from one of those via Odin and it's running fine.

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The field at the centre of the universe: Cambridge's outdoor pulsar pusher

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Did Bell have a first name?

She was even on Stargazing Live on BBC2 a few months ago (at least some of the bits that weren't devoted to Tim Peake and the ISS). A very engaging and eloquent lady, came across very well.

I seem to recall they were talking her up as being Nobel Prize Winning too. Maybe factually incorrect, but as others have noted it's an injustice.

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Send tortuous stand-up ‘nine-thirty’ meetings back to the dark ages

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Aquarium? Pah...

Try doing the stand-up in the semiconductor industry - with a crowd of a couple of dozen or so in the usually fairly noisy, warm and dry-aired cleanroom, in full bunny-suit, face-mask and safety glasses with people droning on for an hour or more and only about 5 minutes actually related to your tools or section (if that).

Almost makes the aquarium sound appealing.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Meetings are made even more

Unfortunately you'd probably find they'd be the ones running it...

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Anonymous Custard
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Not to mention the time required for preparing the management-dictated obligatory PowerPoint presentation that no-one except them looks at and no-one at all understands or gives a toss about.

Either trying to find enough to put in that's worth saying, for *those* projects trying to cram it all into the mandated "couple of slides" whilst have it actually make any kind of sense or just those who have to use company-standard templates which do their best (worst) to inflict all sorts of font/animation/colour monstrosities on the viewer and take 4x as long to weed out to make the thing viewable for more than a millisecond without inducing nausea.

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Anonymous Custard
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Sounds like typical Friday early afternoon, although in that case it's trying to concoct the random numbers to enter into my timesheet for the week and then make my weekly report vaguely match-up.

Something to do between Dabbsie and beer o'clock, at least unless BOFH appears to distract me.

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Those humans-

Come on, we've got plenty more. You'll make us feel like you don't want us...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Inventive?

Ah rambling status meetings, the best example of counter-productive time spent since the idea of "preventative maintenance" was thought up (including the twice-as-long actual maintenance that needs to be done to repair whatever got broken by trying to do the maintenance preventatively).

It's still the age-old mantra around here - "do you want to have a meeting to talk about the status of the current issues, or shall we just spend the time in actually fixing them?".

And of course any inclusion of a Powerpoint requirement to explain said current status triples the (in)effectiveness of the whole exercise (or the time wasted on it anyway).

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Hold the miniature presses: Playmobil movie is go

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

And the zen question may be

If el-Reg wants to recreate a scene from the movie (or it didn't happen...), what should be used?

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Anonymous Custard
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And on a more sombre note, will the movie be in memorium to our intrepid lost original Playmonaut?

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IoT lacking that je ne sais quoi? Try the IoTSP

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: PaaS

If it is then I think our HR people will be talking to the lawyers, as they've been treating us that way for years and will have a prior art claim...

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'Printer Ready'. Er… you actually want to print? What, right now?

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

The only problem is now he's made the fuck-up fairy that sits on his shoulder aware that he has the flipchart pen, so it will either:

a) run dry

b) go awol

c) leak all over the inside of the backpack, resulting in everything ending up covered in thick black gunk and looking like it's been pulled out of an oil sump.

At least that's my personal experience of such pens if used more than once in a blue moon.

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Anonymous Custard
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Coat

The Silicon conspiracy

It's all part of the conspiracy that the machines are perpetrating on us whilst they slowly become sentient and strong enough to do away we us meatbags.

Other examples are:

* The Windows Updates that insist on installing when you shut down your laptop on your way out of the office to catch a plane/train.

* The coffee machine which spits hot staining fluids (as what comes out of many of them can't be classed as coffee or tea) all over your shirt and tie.

* The phone volume level which raises itself to "wake the dead" levels during meetings but insists on dropping to "mouse farting in church" when you try to use it as an alarm clock on a business trip.

* The Bluetooth device that offers to connect to every visible (and invisible) device within a half-mile radius except for the your one which is within a few centimeters of it.

Mine's the coat with the easyJet boarding pass in the pocket, for use this afternoon printed out on paper with a duplicate in my laptop bag for when I lose it.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: The rest of us commute in daily from our hovels

And according to what I was reading yesterday, we apparently need to ensure to commute via some random European city like Berlin to make it a cheaper experience...

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Microsoft on Cloud 9 after online biz boosts profits to $6.3bn in second quarter

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Microsoft on Cloud 9?

But soon the nagging will start and then there'll be a forced up upgrade to Cloud 10, at which point the whole thing will go tits-up.

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BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Contrary to government opinion*...

You don't live any longer, it just seems like it as Friday afternoons crawl along if beer o'clock is removed.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: One can only wonder

Some do, although for the alternative sustenance of coffee and bacon (plus other minor miscellaneous background stuff).

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Ah the old division

Those who have the visionary dreams versus those who have the nightmares of realisation and implementation.

Almost as bad as those who make the promises to customers versus those who have to actually try and fulfil them.

A gem, even before we got to beer maths...

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How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

It's not just tech...

Speaking as a parent who takes his daughter to guitar lessons every Saturday morning, and for at least the first 4 weeks we were there another parent brought his son along, but didn't seem to feel it necessary to actually bring a guitar along too...

So sadly I have to report that it's not just tech that suffers from such people, although the look on the tutors face by about the third week of it happening despite his repeated hints, prompts and suggestions to get one was priceless..

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Some people....

Manager: No. I don't trust computers

Or possibly a more accurate translation - "I've not been trusted to have enough intelligence to be allowed to have a computer." ?

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Pentagon fastens lasers to military drones to zap missiles out of the skies

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "Sadly no plans for sharks as yet"

So exactly how big a crater would an average sized shark make if dropped on someone from 10,000ft?

Enquiring minds want to know. And indeed how much sushi would you get as a by-product?

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Adblock Plus blocked from attending ad industry talkfest

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Adblock's next step?

Nah, I think they should just hire a load of people to go to the venue, stand outside and block anyone from getting in...

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Twitter goes titsup

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

No, but I hear Gordon is...

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El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Jaws of death?

Or even Sir Killalot, the house robot?

His claw was basically a repurposed Jaws of Life cutter, albeit the normal two-bladed one rather than a 4-bladed contraption. That said it did seem reasonably effective, from what I can remember.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: best feature

I'm sure the turtle may have something to say on that front?

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

"purpose built, literally bullet-proof arena"

Sounds like a challenge to me...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

The slight flaw in the plan could be that just picking the opponent up could maybe do little to stop them still bashing twelve shades of circuitry out of you whilst up there, if they had suitable weaponry in the right orientation. Indeed it could help them, as whilst they can't move relative to you, the reverse is also true.

As my cat reminded me last night when I tried to get him out of the lounge so i could go to bed, just being able to hold something up doesn't mean your arms (or even the rest of you, if reach is sufficient) suddenly become immune to attack...

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You've heard of Rollercoaster Tycoon – but we can't wait for Server Tycoon

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: "In-game Ads Messaged"

I wonder on install ad-block or similar on your virtual servers to get around the in-game ads?

Or would that be the buyable extra?

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Bijou Linux autopilot takes to the skies

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Pi Zero availability

They do pop up occasionally on the normal sites, and if you set the notification and are quick you can grab one. For example Pimoroni had some (40 or so i think) in a couple of weeks ago, which I was lucky to snag one of. Also got a late subscription to MagPi just in time to get issue #40 with one on the cover.

Posted not with the aim of being one of the thousand replies, but more to reassure that with a little patience it is possible to get one. But I can understand the frustration, having been in the same boat prior to striking lucky.

That said, judging by the top photo on the article they're trying the get the autopilot boards to breed...

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Boozing is unsafe at ‘any level’, thunders chief UK.gov quack

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Everlasting life

So no bacon sandwiches and now no beer. Even if you don't actually live any longer, you'll be so bloody bored and depressed that it will seem like it, and through stress and envy of others indulgence you may well shorten your lifespan anyway?

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Calling Ben Goldacre

Just don't get it mixed up with the washing up water if someone's been generous with the Fairy Liquid...

And I'm not even going to ask what colour it comes out if it goes in bright green in sufficient quantities...

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