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* Posts by Anonymous Custard

879 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

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Brit amateur payload set to complete full circle around PLANET EARTH

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Just to make it interesting

And a suitably large forest to land in... ;-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Pfffrrrtttt

Nor any race or creed of small plastic pilot...

I mean, where's the fun in that?

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Anonymous Custard
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Re: The simple answer is usually the obvious one

I thought that was loose lego bricks and dropped drawing pins (which of course always land pointy-side up as well)?

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Senate introduces USA FREEDOM Act to curb NSA spying excesses

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Acronym wanted: must be inscrutable

Federal Evidence Collection and Knowledge Overriding Foreign Freedoms

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Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: All that money...

Nah, obviously a Brikk employee in the future has sent this thing back to before the iPhone 6 is released, so that once it is they can sue Apple, make billions for the company and then relax by bashing out their brains with Gargleblasters (lemon optional) before they get taken over by Megadodo Publications who know a good marketting idea when they see one.

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Anonymous Custard
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If you're that damn rich...

you don't touch a phone at all, that's what you have a PA and other sycophantic hangers-on for.

Still I guess you can buy one of these abominations for them I guess, to really rub it in.

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You didn't get the MeMO? Asus Pad 7 Android tab is ... not bad

Anonymous Custard
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Similar experience to the above with Hudl's - got a pair for my daughters and both storm along (certainly quicker than my old 2012 Nexus 7). The only problem we had with them was one ended up with a dodgy micro-USB connector (due to the kids inexperience with plugging/unplugging the cable I think and generally insisting on using them with cables plugged in but forgetting they've done so). And even then one call to the support line had them immediately replaced under warranty, after a quick back-up/restore via ADB onto my laptop they were back up and running almost immediately.

The other thing I was extremely pleasantly surprised at is that the Hudl supports dual-band wifi (not sure if it's at 802.11n or 802.11ac speed offhand, I suspect the former). Both the kids ones are happily connected to the 5GHz network on my Netgear 6200 along with my HTC 8X phone, whereas both my N7-2012 and the boss's MotoG are still stuck on the 2.4GHz network.

Overall rather happy with them, albeit with the same caveat as above about the micro-USB port positioning when the device is used in a stand-case.

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LOHAN's stirring motto: Ad Astra Tabernamque

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Serious answer

I would expect it's probably a motto most easily pronounced after it's applied, ie after launch, retirement to pub and imbibing of several pints of non-stratospheric ale...

Or at least doing so would suitably increase the merriment of your audience when you did attempt it.

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Microsoft bakes a bigger Pi to cook Windows slabs

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Irrelevant

Microsoft reckons it's a good buy

Meanwhile everyone else just reckons it's a good-bye...

It does sound almost like they're looking to unload old Surface stock by uncasing them and selling the bits bare-boned.

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Vote now for LOHAN's stirring mission patch motto

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Awesomesauce

Latrine!

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Vote?

Cheres big man. Bloody work proxy server, trying to get us to do work on a Friday! I ask you...

Can't see it that way via IE, but via the back-door wifi network and Android, all fine and voted.

And as I just missed out on the shortlist, you can stick a mission patch in the tree where LOHAN finally lands instead ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Vote?

OK, I know it's Friday afternoon and I've just seen my name and submission in an el Reg article and all that, but where do we vote? Am I missing something here, or is the actual poll to come later and elsewhere?

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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Anonymous Custard
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Schroedingers luggage?

At least you didn't get the gem that according to a friend who works at Gatwick security some of his colleagues like to throw in occasionally - "Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?". Apparently the number of people who automatically just answer "no" is depressingly large.

Oh and enquiring minds want to know - did you get the steely stare from his eyes or his mouth?

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REG MAN penetrates GOOGLE'S LAIR

Anonymous Custard
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Make it so...

Getting Google Glass to fit comfortably on existing spectacles can be a challenge

And even more challenging may be not to look like Geordie La Forge with an NHS visor...

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Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Any non-Latin in with a shout?

But only on Tuesdays, unless you're a penguin

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Anonymous Custard
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You and me both.

And I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad that my own entry (in Latin - a subject I never studied at all being just a poor plebian) didn't get a mention or argument either.

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June Whitfield and EE to old folk: Would you like a nice cup of tea and some internet, dear?

Anonymous Custard
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Talk about making you feel old - I have problems with that one reasonably often (in part due to having at least two devices where the port is inverted compared to all the others) and I'm only 42!

I know I'm starting (ok, continuing) to go grey, but I think I'm a little too young to be a Age UK client, aren't I?

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Apple gets patent for WRIST-PUTER: iTime for a smartwatch

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Please...

So it's basically a patent for the offspring of an iPod nano and an electronic tag so beloved of our judicial system?

Oh and "a "printed circuit substrate" (mysterious!)" is probably patentese for "interconnection wiring".

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Ever wanted to be a Playmonaut? El Reg's Vulture 2 spaceplane sim reveals what it's like

Anonymous Custard
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Per Ardua Ad Arbor

See, even in simulations some things are inescapable and universal truths, or at least universal trees...

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THUD! WD plonks down SIX TERABYTE 'consumer NAS' fatboy

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Storage cost

@HMB - and I bet you didn't expect to be able to get that sort of capacity in something the size of a fag packet...

It still strikes me as mad that today I have more storage capacity on my keyring than the whole department had back in my university PhD days...

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Anonymous Custard
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Paris Hilton

Reg unit?

Come on, we really need a Reg-standard unit for such storage capacities?

How about measuring them by the number of copies of Paris' (or your personal favourite indiscrete z-list celeb) home movie or torrented box set of Game of Thrones it can store?

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

Anonymous Custard
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Re: "No if only I could use that just once in our call logging system!"

You mean you've never used the reply of "sorry, you've mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck?"

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Re: How about....

Shouldn't that have been the motto of the London Pride mob?

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Anonymous Custard
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Only if we have a Bulgarian Playmonaut(ess)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: How about....

Or given certain balloon propensities, more like

Per Ardua Ad Arbor

("through adversity to the tree")

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Microsoft wants to lure biz users with fondleable Windows 8.1 'Apportals'

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Not a customised Start screen

So it's basically like the existing WP "Kid's Corner" *, except locked down even more, so they obviously think minions and drones are less capable of organising things (or more capable of disorganising them) than kids?

* Their positioning of the apostrophe rather than mine, as for me it is incorrect but YMMV

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'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

Anonymous Custard
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Coat

Transparent adhesive?

so the best fanbois with see-through mobes can hope for is a glimpse of a processor or motherboard glue

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What the world needs now is... a Bluetooth-enabled baby's dummy

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Also perfect for the offfice environment

I think most bosses do need them on a fairly regular basis - mine certainly have a bad habit of throwing their toys out of the pram at the slightest opportunity (usually about inconsequential things when most of the bigger storms are their fault anyway and so get glossed over).

Such an alarm to know when their temperature is up and/or they're wandering away from their safe cubbie-hole would be most welcome.

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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I should think that would be the Ti-D-Bowl man

Turdnado?

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Anonymous Custard
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Or some 70's bio-horror based in the Netherlands perhaps ;)

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Google: Glass goggles are a 'fairly lousy surveillance device'

Anonymous Custard
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Re: It is no different that following people around with Video Cameras

This brings to mind a favourite low-cut T-Shirt that a well-endowed female friend likes to wear. It has a square of very small text somewhere just below the neckline in the cleavage area saying:

"Stop staring at my tits"

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You need a list of specific unknowns we may encounter? Huh?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: @Dabbsy

Quite - in my experience people like those referred to in the article would have trouble recognising themselves in a mirror, let alone in an anonymised tale.

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Microsoft tests HALF-INCH second screen to spur workplace play

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: Workplace play?

They can also probably expect a call from some Japanese lawyers from Bandai - it's a net-enabled modern reincarnation of a Tamagotchi.

And we all remember how bloody irritating they were...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Ahh, bless 'em

So at least we now know what became of all those bloody irritating Tamagotchi things from a couple of decades back...

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: The internet of fridges

Hang on, Heath Robinson and Rube Goldberg were supposed to be satirists, not visionaries.

Somewhere in heaven they'll be having a good laugh at all this nonsense methinks...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Electronic Nose

You'd probably find if you opened the door it would walk/crawl/ooze out quite happily on its own and go lurk in a dark corner and scare the spiders...

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Anonymous Custard
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Heath Robinson

I wonder if it's coincidence that the BBC website today had quite a fun article on Heath Robinson (the UK equivalent of Rube Goldberg, for our colonial cousins)?

If there was ever a modern-day equivalent of one of his contraptions, the IoT Fridge is certainly a prime candidate...

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: Devil's advocate says...

Judging by the interior of our fridge after Herself has emptied our local Tescos, having weighing shelves wouldn't work. It tends to get so much stuff in there, often stacked up, that it looks like a chilled but edible variant of Tetris.

Plus if you can only put stuff on allocated spaces inside the thing, then it'll also need standardisation of packaging shapes/materials (for uniform weight from brand to brand) which is a whole other ballgame.

There is of course the slightly easier options of a "to buy" list stuck on the door of the thing that gets filled in as things are used up (or getting close to being used up) which then becomes part of the shopping list, or of course just looking in the damn thing and quickly inventorying it before going shopping.

But of course neither of them are innovative, sexy or high-tech (unless you stick a tablet onto the door to act as the list), they just quietly work (most of the time)...

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Toyota catches up to William Gibson with LED hood

Anonymous Custard
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Re: What's a hood?

@MJI - be careful, you'll get strung-up for letting out secrets like that ;-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Attention getter

Looks like something out of the Disneyworld electric parade...

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IoT cup claims 'instant' identification of what's in it

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Actually, this may have a use.

It could be a good use for the device/concept, but it doesn't need an internet connection to do that does it? OK so you may need to plug it into a PC initially to set it up (so it knows what to try and detect), but aside from that no further need for talking to anyone except whoever is holding it.

OK there may be an argument for an alert system too, but that's probably overkill (no pun intended). Isn't the only person who really needs to know the one who's actually holding the thing, as it's them that would be affected (presuming we don't go mug-sharing).

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Move over, John Pilger, let us IT scandal-mongerers stick it to you

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Are you..

I thought the sprog possessed a rather scary resemblance to Saville himself, which would probably also mean that various incarnations of Dr Who around that time may also have had some explaining to do...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: All rejoice!

And on the day of BofH outpourings too - we are doubly blessed...

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Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

What is it about Star Wars and doors?

Not only too fast but also not high enough, leading to the infamous stormtrooper headbanger.

Probably explains all the armour when inside their own space-station (or is it a small moon?). I'm sure the Emporer's evil elf n safety minions would be right on it too...

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NASA scrubs FLYING SAUCER over Hawaii ballocket mission

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Murphy says...

And why is it that whenever I'm on a project that gets such delays and stop-overs, it's always in some godforsaken place with grotty weather and horrible hotels?

Why is it never somewhere like Hawaii as these guys are having to endure? I'm sure that I could just about put up with a couple of weeks of doing nothing around there just waiting for the wind to blow...

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Anonymous Custard
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If it's not a silly question..

...why not just use a ship to launch it? OK it's a largish bit of kit, but it's not that big.

Then you can more or less pick your launch site, away from everything except the ship itself, which can of course move if required.

That way also you've also got a craft on-station ready to recover the bits that come down again after the test (presuming they don't end up in a jetstream and go off looking for trees to come down in) and generally not add to the growing trash island a bit to the west.

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US MARTIAN FLYING SAUCER tests above Hawaii: postponed

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Bah!

Given the scale, I'd think Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" would perhaps be more appropriate.

I mean of course the superb original version, not the dismal remake...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Is it just my imagination?

Or does that thing look like the worlds largest and most high tech jet propelled custard pie?

Given my handle around here I have a vested interest in such matters ;)

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Texan parks quadcopter atop Dallas Cowboys stadium

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Fuck me!

You think that one's impressive, look at the Arizona Cardinals one. Its playing field is on a huge tray, and after the game it's wheeled outside the stadium into the open for better growing conditions for the grass.

Saw a programme about it not so long ago on Discovery Channel - it's seriously impressive to watch.

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