* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1143 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Page:

Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

A wall of flaws?

Unless you get to a ceiling of them of course...

1
0

Antiques in spaaaaace! Retired space shuttles cannibalised for parts

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Coat

Remake, reuse, recycle

OK, so who's the lucky astronaut who's going to end up wearing Neil Armstrong's Apollo 11 suit?

Still I guess it could be worse, it could be the Apollo 13 ones (if they ever got the stains out after their fright...).

But then I suppose some styles never go out of fashion... ;-) A bit like my coat over there...

2
0

Japan's 'White Stork' soars heavenwards to ISS

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Wasted Opportunity

Thats 'cos the third one was navigating, and they're currently somewhere between Saturn and Uranus. It was covered up to save embarassment of all concerned...

0
0

Government embarks on futile mission to censor teen music vid viewing

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Rated 18+

"Why a four year old child could understand this.

Run out and get me a four year old child,

I can't make head or tail out of it."

Groucho Marx - Duck Soup.

8
0

Feeling a physical present: Ten summer games and gadgets

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Yeah, but there's no age limit on being a kid is there? At least at heart anyway. :-)

I'm sure if you ask your mother, she'll tell you you'll always be her little boy or girl (as appropriate)...

2
0

Monster Scalextric Formula 1 circuit to go under the hammer

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Bushes!

And I thought such model planes used trees (as landing catchers) rather than bushes?

0
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Looking at the size of that thing, you'd probably need the New Forest for it...

5
0

Cheers, Bill Gates. Who wouldn't want drinking water made from POO?

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Turdwater

My thoughts exactly - if it's the choice between clean water made from poo, or unclean water where animals and humans have poo'd in, I know which one I'd pick...

14
1

Typewriters suck. Yet we're infinitely richer for those irritating machines

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Computers double in power every eighteen months, BUT...

The problem is the amount of remote control/management, security and general corporate software bloat that most IT departments deem necessary has more than doubled over the same period. Not to mention the built-in bloat of the OS underneath in many cases.

Anyway it's productive time, as long as you go and make the tea or coffee whilst it boots.

3
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Makes you wonder if Steve Jobs used to prepare his early keynote speeches ("oh, and one more thing...") on a typewriter too?

6
0

Yahoo! parties! like! it's! 1999! with! retro! billboard! revival!

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Trollface

Money for nothing

A cynic (we employ none here at El Reg)...

Of course not, why would you when you get plenty of us doing it for you in these comments for free. ;-)

Would spoil all our fun anyway otherwise...

2
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: “It’s good to be back.“

And in this day and age of movie and TV "reboots" of shows from yesteryear (rather than bothing with anything like creativity or invention), it's almost in keeping with the trend...

2
0

All hail Ikabai-Sital! Destroyer of worlds and mender of toilets

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: So that's what I do!

Just let us know where you get the mugs from, as I'm sure many of us could also do with at least one...

1
0

HAM IN SPAAAAAACE! ISS astronaut contacted by Gloucestershire bloke in garden shed

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Why is this news?

Helen Sharman?

She's about the right vintage for the timescale, and I think is about the only British female astronaut there has been. Although having said that I didn't think she'd been on the shuttle, but rather on the Russian Soyuz launches.

0
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Boffin

You can sign up for NASA email alerts when the station is going to pass over your location here at their Spot The Station site.

I have it, and get updates most days of appearances. Seen it a good few times, always amazes quite how fast and how bright it is, and indeed how large it appears even to the naked eye. This is of course when it isn't being obscured by the great British summertime, aka cloud and rain.

8
1

Sengled lightbulb speakers: The best worst stereo on Earth

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: The Internet of Things summarised

1. Take two items never designed to go together; the more idiotic the combination, the better. The level of naivety displayed must be staggering.

Don't forget that at least one of the items must be a time-limited one (in this case the bulb illumination itself), so that when it does go TITSUP it renders the whole device non-useful and destined only for the recycling bin, even if the other abilities are still arguably usable.

5
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Loudspeakers in your lightbulbs sound crap

And it has the added bonus of doing two things at once, so not only can you not turn the bulb off if you want any noise out of it, but once the bulb itself blows (and presuming that doesn't take the speaker out as well) then you've got the dilemma of keeping a non-functional bulb in your light socket just to keep the speaker functionality, or chucking away a fair chunk of investment in something which is still actually at least partially functional.

Someone in IoT marketing definitely had a lightbulb moment, at the expense of any practical sense.

22
0

Obsolescence of food is complete: Soylent now comes in bottles

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Dammit

Indeed, from crispy bacon onward...!

<homer>Mmmm, bacon...</homer>

3
0

German railways upgrade their comms tech from 2G to 4G

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Trollface

Come on - this is an el Reg stock photo attempt at a story image.

We're doing well that it's of a train interior given their usual standard of relevance...

6
0

VIAGRA found in Chinese 'Kung Fu rice wine'

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Yeah but you have to down it in one, or else you get a stiff neck...

5
0

BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: reminds me of the time...

@cybersaur - can that be modified to work on my kids? ;)

0
0

Microsoft Edge web browser: A well-presented mea culpa

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: "It's worth turning on the (potentially) privacy-invading Cortana for that feature alone."

Also doesn't Edge use cloud-based cookies, which you can't turn off and which will be of course available for MS to use as they wish. Hand in hand with Cortana, we also have

"...collects and uses various types of data, such as your device location, data from your calendar, the apps you use, data from your emails and text messages, who you call, your contacts and how often you interact with them on your device. ... also learns about you by collecting data about how you use your device and other services, such as your music, alarm settings, whether the lock screen is on, what you view and purchase, your browse and Bing search history, and more."

And

"We will access, disclose and preserve personal data, including your content (such as the content of your emails, other private communications or files in private folders), when we have a good faith belief that doing so is necessary to protect our customers or enforce the terms governing the use of the services"

I'm reasonably sure at least some of that is illegal under UK laws, and bits are positively Orwellian.

5
0

Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

I think that's fairly standard across most makes though.

Over the years I've had similar discussions with mechanics who have services my company cars (VW, Vauxhall Peugeot and Ford) and they've all said the same thing. And if you look at the cars those mechanics drive, it's very rarely the make that they are employed to work on...

7
0

Forget lasers: how about sharks with frikkin' VOLCANOES?

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Boffin

Forget the lasers?

I would have expected living in a volcano would make them more likely to be laser-wielding, not less...

3
0

Why the BBC is stuffing free Micro:bit computers into schoolkids' satchels

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Year 7 = 11 years old

Although its a bit of a shame, as one of the early ideas mooted for the prototype was as a wearable (basically a programmable badge or pin depending on which side of the pond you are). Having a couple of AAA's hanging off it would I guess rather spoil that.

My eldest is going up to year 7 in September, so will be interesting to see what she and her class (and their teacher) make of it, or if it ends up coming home and joining the Pi in extra-curricular education of coding and suchlike.

1
0

Pluto probe brain OVERLOAD: Titsup New Horizons explained

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Trollface

Slam code

Anyone else think that having a contingency plan involving pushing out a "Slam Code" to a probe doing a fly-by is just asking for a misunderstanding or is tempting fate...?

Still heavy kudos and pints to all involved. Another in a series of good jobs for the probe, rover and satellite mob.

0
0

What Murphy’s law has to teach you about data centres

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Boffin

Ah, Schroedinger's Sysadmin...

3
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Headmaster

And not forgetting the extension to Murphy's Law - "If it cannot go wrong, it will probably still go wrong just out of spite and to make you look like an idiot for not being paranoid enough with your disaster prediction and understanding..."

5
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

To which add "Management have scheduled crisis meetings for every hour - your attendance is mandatory".

My usual answer to such is "Do you want me to talk about fixing it, or do you want me to actually just fix it and we can then discuss it later?" I usually find that focuses the mind, even of managers.

This is doubly true when they also insist that you have a full and nicely tuned PowerPoint presentation to bring to the meeting, as they need pretty graphs and whizzy animations to have a hope in hell of understanding anything even slightly technical.

8
0

This box beams cafes' Wi-Fi over 4kms so you can surf in obscurity

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Re: You would need a book nobody reads on a shelf nobody visits.

I also wonder if someone should tell him that eBooks aren't physical books on a library shelf that also need to have a power lead running to them? ;-)

9
1

That man told me to stuff a ROLE up my USER ENTRY!

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

I would certainly agree with the sentiment, but from experience "senior manager" and "gets the work done" are mutually exclusive. At least unless the only privs and accesses you need relate to arranging meeting rooms and issuing minutes.

Normally asking for enough priv's "so I don't have to bother you again asking for what I need" to the IT person is usually enough, especially if requested over a pint (or the promise of one, duly delivered).

1
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "To question the managerial understanding of business processes"

The usual answer to "What is your role" has to be either "minion" (which in this case would ironically have been right), "blame magnet", "unsung hero" or "ground zero", depending on situation and whom you are talking to (whether they have a sense of humour and/or the right to get you fired).

Either that or you just pick the role that has the rights/privs/access/whatever you need to actually get things done, although most of the time "miracle worker" seems not to be on the list when it's needed...

0
0

GM's cheaper-than-Tesla 'leccy car tested at batt-powered data centre

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

Re: What a horrible paint job

As these things are very quiet and hard to hear coming, maybe the driver should roll the window down and shout loudly "I'm coming! I'm coming"

I thought that was more the mantra of the back seat than the drivers seat...

13
0

Beyond the Grave: US Navy pays peanuts for Windows XP support

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Trollface

Choices, choices...

The security patches are likely to cost little more than Navy expenditure on toilet rolls.

Yes, but if push comes to shove, which one would you rather do without?

4
0

Flushed with success: No bog standard Canadian goldfish these

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: Diversify!

It's his Canadian cousin, Couper Ma Propre Gorge Dibbler.

7
0

This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

And a pipe...

3
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Completely and utterly bonkers

Given some of the stuff they put in there, he could probably get a room in the Tate Modern for it for a while too.

Wonderful stuff anyway, hope it doesn't drive him too crazy getting it finished and debugged.

1
0

DEATH by VEGETABLES: Woman charged with killing boyf using carrots. And peas

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Death by kitchen cupboard. At least that's what mine tried a couple of nights ago when I opened it and it rained tins down on me.

I really must tidy it up one of these days...

1
0

US students prevail in rocket-powered egg challenge

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Happy times

Oh, and for those who want to waste a bit of time, I give you:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/archive/great_egg_race/

Complete with 13 episodes from 1979-1986. Includes the first one (Egg Mobiles), in which the Prof was only a judge, not the presenter (that was Brian "Playschool" Cant, plus Charlotte Allen). Learn something new every day researching el Reg posts...

4
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Happy times

Indeed, met him a few years back and he's still on cracking form.

Alternatively I also give you Scrapheap Challenge in a similar(ish) mad engineering vein.

TGER never did rockets (at least that I can recall), but SC did them in some form or other at least twice - S01E06 and S10E07.

The second one's rocket powered trains, not quite the same but great fun and includes a home-made jet engine. First one's proper rockets though, albeit with snow globes rather than eggs. And had Bowser Munson in it, which is always a bonus.

3
0

Arkansas Kum & Go onanist did just that

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

May one ask how?

I keep seeing them around the place (like your welcome mat one also) and am intrigued...

0
0

BOOM! Stephen Elop shuffled out of Microsoft door

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: "Chief insights officer"

I would say corporate dogsbody and corporate ground-zero, but I think I already have those titles (unpaid and unofficial of course)...

1
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

I can't see Elop anybody crying over his exit from Microsoft.

FTFY

26
0

Bezos' bozos swing ban-hammer at media player

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

You don't even need the Play Store, just download it directly from the Kodi website.

And if all else fails, the Fire stick can just be replaced by an Apple TV 2 or a Pi. Not quite as convenient a form-factor, but both are still very usable for the job (my Kodi runs nicely from a Pi mk 1, as well as on my laptop and Nexus 7).

1
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: The Internet facilitates piracy...

This would be the same Amazon who are quite happy to promote and sell you a dodgy box with an XMBC/kodi install crammed full of the self-same 3rd party crapware add-ons that are used to view the pirated streaming content through their online store?

2
1
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
FAIL

Ultimate stupidity

So they banhammer Kodi, whose devs and forums go out of their way to not support the piracy add-ons and to do all they can not to promote or support piracy, and yet the Amazon appstore contains loads of older XBMC-forked apps which come pre-loaded with all the piracy shit. For examples iXBMC, XBMC4U, TVMC, ZappoTV, and VidOn (at the risk of publicising them, which I have no desire to do).

So it's a nice one all-round (not!), they've managed to ban the only one who is actively anti-piracy...

8
0

Raspberry Pi guys want you to go topless in the heat

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Have a look at this one:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/plusberry-pi-media-box-running-on-raspberry-pi#/story

Doesn't quite hit all your targets (to do that I think you'd need a PC case), but does a fair amount of them. It's fully funded, currently in the final stages of production and is due to start shipping within a few weeks...

3
0

Testing Windows 10 on Surface 3: Perfect combo or buggy embuggerance?

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge

Re: This is getting silly

As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it..."

1
0
Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

As it turned out, Microsoft's success was limited

As it turned out, Microsoft's success was limited

Have you ever thought about a career in diplomacy?

11
0

Limited edition Iron Man S6 sells for $91,000 thanks to ... serial number

Anonymous Custard
Silver badge
Joke

And Iron Maiden must be kicking themselves for not including the actual numbers on their historic album cover...

4
0

Page:

Forums