* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1547 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Bad references

Normally a response like "I'd love to, but if I do then you won't give her the job" will suffice to drop the hint.

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Microsoft warns Windows security fix may break network shares

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Public networks with NAS drives?

Microsoft offers a fix for this; if you change your network to “private” or “enterprise”, it should start working again.

Wouldn't almost everyone have one or other of those set anyway in the kind of scenario where you'd be dealing with shared drives and NAS's? How many of those do you generally find on a public network?

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4K-ing-A! Roku bangs out broad range of new streaming boom boxes

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

I think you mean Honey I Shrunk the Audience!, but aside from that entirely agree as well.

Disney have replicated it a few times, there's also a Bugs Life one and a Muppets one at the various parks. The latter is particularly fun, but works on the same principle of 3D plus environmental stuff too.

The best one though was undoubtedly Soarin'. Same idea again, but with wind and scent effects coupled with wonderful images of flying around various locations and the unusual "seating" position of being basically in a hang-glider mock-up.

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What a time to be alive: Nissan reveals self-driving chair

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: To spice it up

Or sub-contract a part of the manufacture to Samsung so a few occasionally randomly catch fire or explode.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Someone in the marketing department clearly enjoys Pixar.

Was going to say Pixar had prior art here myself. Even more so given the tagline of related stories at the bottom even had a nice Wall-E picture in it...

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Microsoft preps defence against the dark arts for enterprise customers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Given how badly Edge works here with a lot of our websites and applications (due to its streamlined lack of support for various bits that they need to run properly) and how much we still have to rely on IE11, I'd certainly second that in the corporate environment.

Of course I guess the websites and such should also be looked at, but we all know how that story goes in the corporate world.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: So they got themselves a sandbox...

So it's sand all the way down?

Makes a change from turtles I suppose...

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It's Pablo Pic-arsehole: Turner Prize wannabe hits rock bottom

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Next year

It'll be severely challenged by my entry - I propose to enter the absurd concept of art by installing an idea for the post-modern world.

Or to put it another way, just by leaving a completely empty display there full of even more hot air than currently exists around the topic. Meanwhile I'll be down the pub with a few pints of real workmanship...

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Behold the fruit of your techie utopia: A $43 San Francisco fog-infused martini

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Obscurely disappointed

Drown your sorrows with one (or more) of these?

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

One born every minute?

And then there are the assholes who sell $43 martinis.

True, but only sustainable if there are people hip* enough to actually buy them for that price...

PT Barnum was a visionary in that respect.

* aka dumb and/or pretentious as translated for those of us in the real world

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Microsoft deletes Windows 10 nagware from Windows 7 and 8

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

No other action

Microsoft's article says, advising that no action other than a restart will be required to do the deed.

Oh I'm sure a few people will see some action as needed, such as a few beers to celebrate?

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Apple wants to buy Formula 1 car firm McLaren – report

Anonymous Custard
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Re: That'll be MacLaren soon then...

Given how the current McLaren is running, and how it keeps throwing bits of engine and such out (OK I know that's technically Renault rather than McLaren) it could arguably be convergent technology between the two...

I'm sure there are some days when Alonso and Button must wonder if they've ended up with a pram by mistake.

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World+dog to get retro classic Commodore 64 for Christmas

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Likely lineups for those

And in this day and age he'll probably be eligible for the Turner Prize or something for doing so, quite by accident. Or at least Arts Council funding to do it.

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What's Chinese and crashing in flames? No, not its economy – its crocked space station

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Dimensions?

Just don't try and nail your tool-racking or screw any shelves to the wall...

But at least you shouldn't find a long-disused hedge trimmer or lawnmower in there.

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Two Sundays wrecked by boss who couldn't use a calendar

Anonymous Custard
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Re: At least make sure your contract include TOIL

This sounds horribly familiar from a few years back during one of the downturns, when our paid overtime got cancelled and replaced with TOIL.

Unfortunately even though it was a financial downturn, we still had plenty of work to actually do. And the management got rather upset when I asked them to increase the 300 hour TOIL limit as I'd max'd out, especially when I pointed out we hadn't got any time to take any of it, and that if I just took it all alongside my normal holiday and bank holiday entitlement, I'd come back in February (this was said in September).

Worked out quite nicely, with a couple of months worth of hours getting paid off conveniently close to Christmas...

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BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: 1bs

Ah yes, the kind of user who could fail an IQ test...

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Clock virus

I think my machine must be infected too - it's insisting there's 3 more hours until beer o'clock. That can't be right, can it?

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'Power equipment failure' borks EE's data services across England

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: I risk Friday wrath but ...

By at least six degrees...

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Paint your wagon (with electric circuits) but leave my crotch alone

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Heat & Electronics & fans

Sounds like the old Archimedes that used to sit in the lab when I was a student (going back 20 or so years ago) which worked fine in winter, but in summer required a periodically refilled beaker of liquid nitrogen to be sat in front of its air intake for it to operate for more than about 10 minutes before giving up with heatstroke.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

@Doctor Syntax - not "re-emerging".

These days it'd have to be "rebooted" or "reimagined", and probably starring Dwayne Johnson.

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Happy Anniversary: What’s new, what’s missing in Microsoft’s giant mobile update

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Ahh makes sense now

Had just the same, both settings and wireless hotspot tiles vanished. Both easily put back though, but seems an oddity.

Liking the new flexibility with the notification shade though. I used to have 5 or 6 that I wanted there and all the rest I can do without, so now being able to turn some off and fully rearrange the others it's working very nicely.

Have to say that Win10 does seem to eat battery faster than Win8.1 used to. That said my Lumia 640LTE will still go 2-3 days at least before needing more juice, so it's not a desperate issue.

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Intel fabs to churn out 10nm ARM chips for LG smartphones next year

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Nose out

No it's not per the normal rules. That said, these days of FOUPs and mini-environments, it makes less of an impact than it used to with open cassettes all around the shop. Still not exactly good for the particle level though, especially if tools are open for PM (and doubly so for the people with their heads in the tools doing said PM's).

Last time I was in an Intel cleanroom it was surprisingly common to see exposed noses, especially given their normal American-style strictness of following rules and having everyone enforce them on everyone else.

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£1m military drone crashed in Wales after crew disabled anti-crash systems – report

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

The old myth that 4 high-tech and complicated systems must be better than one simple one that just works?

Some days you do wonder whether the KISS principle should be something that gets retaught and refreshed periodically.

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Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Touchdown

Wouldn't a simpler system that maybe measured the weight exerted on the landing gear be somewhat more of a safe way to tell if the thing is actually on the ground or not? Presumably the thing has wheels of some sort, and one would hope the downward pressure on them when it's on the deck would be somewhat more than when they're dangling below it whilst flying (or preparing to land if they're retractable).

Or is it the old scenario when people think multiple highly complicated systems must be better than one simple one? All 3 wheels bearing weight = drone on terra firma, and then set about stopping it.

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The curious case of a wearables cynic and his enduring fat bastardry

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

On the air?

a three-dimensional accelerometer to track motion and intensity of motion, plus an altimeter for elevation

So is this forward planning and it's expecting you to evolve and learn to fly? Would be more calorie-consuming than jogging I guess...

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What next for the F-35 after Turkey's threats to turn its back on NATO?

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Call a roofer

In spite of all the security worries, losing 100 F-35 orders as well as a reasonably large industrial partner would doubtless push the costs of the F-35 programme through the roof.

You mean they're going to have to build yet another roof for the costs to bust through, given how many times it has already done so?

I guess it'll keep someone in business anyway, even if it is just a builder...

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Brexit Britain: HP Sauce vs BBC.co.uk – choices that defined voters

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Ironic...

Ironic... ...that HP sauce is made in the Netherlands.

Not to mention the bacon it often accompanies commonly being a product of Denmark, to form part of that most British of delicacies, the good ol' Bacon Sarnie.

Although seemingly you can't wash it down with a mug of tea and still stay?

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London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Says it all when the handy map for the London Underground comes from a server in France...

But indeed interesting to see how it's actually physically laid out in a true geographical sense, rather than from the traveller convenience viewpoint.

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Brit network O2 hands out free Windows virus with USB pens

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: They got a USB Pen, I got flowers

We had a couple of pack of dark choccie Hob Nobs in the post this morning from a recently left former colleague (I would say departed, but he left for a better job rather than for the grave).

All in all I think we got the best deal of the lot...

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Microsoft: You liked Windows 10 so much, you'll get 2 more in 2017

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Add and subtract

So no new features, but how many more of the existing ones are they going to remove?

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West country cops ponder appearance of 40 dead pigeons on A35

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Don't forget...

@CrazyOldCatMan

Sounds like my kids, give our take the bit about the Labrador.

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Perlan 2: The glider that will slip the surly bonds of Earth – and touch the edge of space

Anonymous Custard
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Interesting

Sounds like an interesting project - best of luck (and weather) to them.

Slightly tinged with sadness that this would normally have been an SPB article I guess - oh Lester how we miss you :(

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Going! going! pwned? 200! million! Yahoo! logins! leaked! allegedly!

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Plenty of other ways to scramble things up though:

* Using one of the words reversed.

* Key shifting on the keyboard.

* Removing the last # letters from the words (or the first, or a mixture).

* Adding something site-specific but easy to remember for each site.

* Set the keyboard to a different language but still type the words in the letters on the keys.

* Throw in a few specific non-standard symbols in fixed memorable places.

Mixing those and any number of similar techniques into what's already been stated can turn any fairly regular password or phrase into utter gobbledegook, even if typed in plain text.

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The return of (drone) robot wars: Beware of low-flying freezers

Anonymous Custard
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as its eight spinning razor-like rotors shredded the cat

Or in the case of my cat and his recent antics in the last few weeks (3 squirrels, 2 pigeons and copious amounts of mice), more likely we'd find bits of the drone in a trail going into the house, up the stairs and into his favourite hidey-hole for munching on stuff he's caught (or probably trying to in this case, as I doubt drones are that appetizing).

Not sure quite what state the local wildlife is in, but he seems to have brought everything bar a Pokémon in over the last month or so...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Or get something from one anyway, possibly via a dingy back-alley...

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Argos changes 150 easily guessed drop-off system passwords

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Wait a minute

It's Argos - the SWAT team would have been out of stock in the local store and when sent from the next nearest would have arrived with their guns missing or broken...

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Avnet sees Dätwyler's bid for Raspberry Pi slinger, raises to £868m

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Farnell non-Zero

With regard to the banner photo, it should probably be pointed out that Farnell don't actually sell Zero's. Those are manufactured by the Foundation themselves at the plant in Wales and sold through their other distributors (Pi Hut, Pimoroni etc) rather than the bulk sellers like Farnell and RS. Those only manufacture and sell the "large" Pi's (B+, 2 and 3), for a relative value of large anyway.

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Russian spy aircraft are flying over Britain – and the MoD's cool with it

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Drone on

Given the age of most of the listed aircraft I'd wonder about how much cash they would save. Although they could probably increase the income of a few aircraft museums by donating the things as exhibits.

Almost makes you wonder what the Americans use for the job, and whether the Wright Flyer occasionally takes a sabbatical from the Smithsonian for some more active duty.

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Microsoft adds useful feature to PowerPoint. Seriously

Anonymous Custard
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Re: If you are going to watch one PowerPoint Presentation by choice

Or any of the recent shows by Dave Gorman...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: "add any other overly fancy use of language and management terms at will"

@Geoff

acronyms - it irritates me when people use acronyms and then try and look smug when you ask what they are

Never ever attend a presentation on-site at Intel then, at any of their fabs. Your brain will melt and flood out your ears.

They are the only customer I know where you have to go into meetings with an acronym dictionary (I kid you not, we have an ongoing file in the office) and half the time you're still bamboozled by what they're presenting. It's like another language sometimes, probably deliberately so to ensure nothing useful goes out to we vendors and other minions not deemed worthy to wear the fabled blue badge.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Some years ago ....

Yup, you can put buttons in which jump about in the presentation, or indeed open other presentations or URLs and all sorts of other stuff. But it's a little too much for most PHB's in my experience, who seem to think that cramming in as much text and whizzy animation per slide is the way to get their message across best (and then just stand there reading the damn thing out word for word to ram the point home).

I've actually made up more than several reference "helper assistants" on various topics this way for use by engineering colleagues, which they quite like without ever quite realising it's all just PowerPoint.

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Anonymous Custard
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The best PPT show I've ever seen

Just to counterpoint some of the posts (including my own) above about the worst presentation/presenter they've ever seen, thought I'd post about the best I've ever seen.

Was a guy at a scientific conference a couple of decades back (back in my PhD student days). He had a footer running across the bottom of each slide which contained 2 or 3 cells from a cartoon story. As he went through the slides, the story was played out.

The icing on the cake was when he got to the last slide, where we were all of course expecting a conclusion summarising everything he'd been talking about (fairly well and interestingly, to give him his due) and he just said "and now I bet you all want to know how it ended..." and put up a slide that was basically completely blank except for the cartoons across the bottom, which closed off the story.

He basically got a standing ovation from the crowd as it was so refreshing from the death by PowerPoint we'd been suffering for the rest of the conference across several days.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Perhaps

- Using slide transitions and animation in the same presentation.

- Using more than one different animation effect on a single slide.

- Using animation on more than two objects on a single slide.

- Hiding the fact that what you've got to say is boring or irrelevant by having it dancing all over the screen and flying about like the Red Arrows in a hurricane.

As you may be able to tell I'm not a huge fan of PowerPoint animations, or their inherent eye-strain and headache.

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Still

"I see you've included every animation and transition effect that is available in this presentation. Shall I order some anti-motion sickness pills from that online pharmacy that just emailed you offering little blue pills?"

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: Arsdel.....

How about dronedel - one to remove those who drone on just reading out exactly what's up on the screen without elaborating or explaining anything in any more depth than what's up there.

PowerPoint is supposed to be presentation software, not a reading tutorial. I think most people who are unfortunate enough to be exposed to it can already read to at least an acceptable level.

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Orientation

I'm still waiting for basic stuff like being able to have portrait and landscape slides in the same presentation without having to faff about and daisy-chain multiple presentations together to get it to semi-work.

It's 2016, how complicated can it be?

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Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Ever heard of humour, irony, sarcasm and the (vague) IT angle?

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Anonymous Custard
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Facepalm

They can't have been that fast, given one of the stormtrooper extras famously managed to smack his head on one.

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Good job..

JJ loves to fill his sets with light objects.

You could even say he has a flare for it...

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