* Posts by mutt1170

24 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Battlestar Galactica prequel shuns space, spaceships

mutt1170

@Greg GIlbraith: Baystars

Base, mate. BASEstars.

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M42 closed by marshmallows and beer

mutt1170
Heart

@Homers Dream

Mmmmm RoadBeer!!!

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El Reg seeks top net neologism

mutt1170
Happy

Doing the rounds

There was an email doing the rounds a good while ago where you added or removed one letter from a word to get a totally new meaning:

My two favourites were:

Osteopornosis - def'n: a degenerative disease

and

Sarchasm - def'n: the gulf in wit between the person cracking a joke and the wuckfit who doesn't understand it.

Although not webisms I also like Spoonerising sayings to avoid obvious profanity while getting the meaning across, like:

wuckfit, the bogs dollocks, and fupid stucker..

Swearing IS Big and it IS Clever.

Just not in front of my mammy - four foot nine of fury with a step ladder and a mean right hook!!

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Beeb gets its rocks off in Second Life

mutt1170
Paris Hilton

Second Life Sex Life????

I quite fancy the idea of going online to buy genitals.

My ex still has mine in her purse!

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I wish PH was my ex

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'Meh' makes Collins English Dictionary

mutt1170
Coat

CED have offically added Meh to our linguistic lexicon

May I be the first to offer my sincerest pericombobulations?

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Mine's the one with "The Whole Rotten Saga" in the pocket

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US Navy SEAL uniforms: Now with built-in tourniquets

mutt1170
IT Angle

@Horses for courses

As you said, advice for non-amputating injuries is to NOT apply a tourniquet for the reasons you state.

However in a combat situation when a femoral artery gets ruptured you're faced with two choices

1) Apply tourniquet to stop or slow the bleeding and run the risk of losing the limb

2) Bleed out VERY quickly and DIE.

Not much of a choice really?

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I'll let the IT angle go cos it's giving us Information about new battlefield Technology

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Fancy nipping for a quick two-thirds of a pint?

mutt1170
Coat

@you queue for a hour to get severed

Stu, you HAVE to stop drinking in the East End mate!?!?!

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Mine's the one with the Nip, Flagon and Yard in the pockets

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Paris ups sticks to London

mutt1170
Stop

@why not take a jont over the pond and spread the goodwill....

As long as that's ALL she spreads while she's jaunting well over here!!

Keep the lower appendage jokes to yourself. They ain't big and they ain't clever - the jokes that is not her legs....

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Bee Gees belter may help cheat death

mutt1170
Coat

Not so much Flashdance as Flashback!!!

Mortal Coil Shuffling, Chest Wigs, Medallions and images of John Travolta in a white suit!!!

It's enough to give you the Hee Bee Gee(s) Bees.

Mines the one with the matching Loon Pants and 10" Platforms

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Commentard completely loses the plot

mutt1170
Paris Hilton

@Anomalous Cowherd

"Go on, do it. Correct my use of "decimate". You know you want to."

So you reduced his argument by 10%?

Paris, cos big words are the only things that don't come out of her mouth.

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Thomas Crown blagger recruits decoy dupes on internet

mutt1170
Coat

@the Sacred Art of Stealing

The cops thought they'd collared the lad but he had an alibi: A big boy did it and ran away.

The well insured bank owners weren't too worried about the event saying "It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here"

Mine's the one with the eclectic Baurheid reading material and the St Mirren season ticket.

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Mayor Boris serves Governator cold revenge

mutt1170
Coat

@Patrick R

"Unless he was elected just for being funny."

You mean he wasn't?!?!?!?

I thought the office of Mayor of London was created to keep the loonies busy.

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Mine's the one with the rigged ballot papers in the pocket

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Coming soon: Spider-Man - The Musical!

mutt1170
Pirate

@Martin

Great Gatsby The Musical?

You know scarily enough I can actually see that one working

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Illuminati spook fails to disarm Soviet cow nuke

mutt1170
Black Helicopters

"Repelled" from CH2 Huey?

Surely any self-respecting pilot would have been repelled by him before he got anywhere near the aircraft?

Guess the only thing Illuminati'd (geddit?) by this story is the intelligence of you average common or garden Knoxvillian villain (should that be a Knoxvillain?)

Absolutley no IT angle, but as the arresting officer will attest - it's fun to laugh at loons.

Called out to a museum break in at early o'clock - some Foulks have all the luck!!!

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Pub toilet todger tiff ends in bloodbath

mutt1170
Alien

Shooting in RSA

A shooting?!

In South Africa?!?!

In public?!?!?!

Surely not, say it ain't so!!!!!!!!

Once saw a T-Shirt brought back from SA with a picture of a Glock 9mm and ammo on it. The writing around/over the picture said:

"WELCOME TO SOUTH AFRICA

NOW

DUCK MOTHERF**KER!!"

Kinda sums it all up rather neatly don't you think.

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Aliens cos, well have you heard Percy Montgomery in interview?

Guy sounds like he has a skin mask and eats rodents for dinner!

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Beauty contest judge canned for slamming 'munter' contestants

mutt1170
Joke

@GTG

The NZ version on Munter and the UK version are probably very closely related.

After all you would need to be "Munted" (NZ version) to pull a "Munter"* (UK version)

* Munter: noun, colloquial: a distinctly physically unattractive person - see also Twelve Pinter

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University offers one-day Jedi course

mutt1170
Paris Hilton

@Rachel

"I still think George Lucas ruined my childhood when he made Greedo shoot first."

Followed at a close second by giving the roadblocking FBI agents walkie talkies!!!!

Damn Revisionists!!!!! (Spielberg we're looking at you too!!)

Paris, 'cos I doubt she has clue one about any sort of Revising!

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mutt1170
Heart

@ Christoph

"this is not the course you're looking for"

Laugh?

I nearly splottzed on my keyboard!!

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NZ in 'Old Bo***ck Road' balls-up

mutt1170
Coat

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=Pity+Me

I once spent Hogmany (New Years Eve to the Barbarian Hordes) in Pity Me in Co. Durham it was near Langley (Park), Quebec and 15 miles from No Place!!!

Mines the one with A-Z in the pocket

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Bloomberg kills Steve Jobs

mutt1170
Gates Horns

He's NOT dead?

Damn damn damn -says Bill!

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Old timers rattle zimmers at 'Elderly Persons' sign

mutt1170
Paris Hilton

Mmmm

"Solution

By James Bassett

Improve Britain. Burn a Granny!"

Is that a Final Solution, or just A Modest Proposal

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"Finally, the 'left turn ahead' sign is belittling those of us with erectile disfunction."

Not to mention upsetting those of a right wing persuasion!!!!

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Paris cos she doesn't know what an "Old Person" is....

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Puerto Rican corpse stands for three-day wake

mutt1170
Coat

Still Life (sic)

I Aten't Dead (c) Esme Weatherwax

Mine is the one with brass handles and silk lining.

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English Channel defeats one-armed Frenchman

mutt1170
Coat

The IT Angle is...

calculating the circumference of the circles he swam in!.

Mine's the one with the pinned up sleeve.

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Oz Anglicans embrace Darth Vader

mutt1170
Pirate

Athiesm and toelrance

"It must be a sad life... Being a hard line Atheist. no tolerance for the beliefs of others"

We have "tolerance" for your beliefs - it's you we don't like.

Mine's is the one with a dystopian view of the future.

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