* Posts by Robert Baker

117 posts • joined 24 Jul 2008

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Robert Baker

Re: Apologies in advance to all Christians......

". which some here seem to hold as a religion, QED"

In Unix there is strength.

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It's Wikipedia mythbuster time: 8 of the best on your 15th birthday

Robert Baker
FAIL

Re: Based in reality

Don't speak to me of Wikia — it's at least as bad, after all it too was founded by Jimmy Wales.[cetacean needed]

Most of the articles on the Beatles Wikia are of two types — those copied from Wikipedia, and those stolen from Wikipedia. Not helped by the fact that there are sometimes idiots who remove the {{Wikipedia}} tags from articles, thereby converting them from "copied" to "stolen".

Anyone wanting Fab Four information is best advised to head straight for Wikipedia, and cut out the middle man.

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Robert Baker
Pint

Just regard Wikipedia as the world's largest trivia site, and you won't go far wrong.[citation needed]

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Official: Toshiba pulls out of European consumer PC market

Robert Baker

Re: Toshiba laptops

I bought myself a Toshiba craptop in August 2013, naïvely believing that because it was a "top brand" it would be good. It seemed to be good at first (except for the fact that a 1366x768 resolution isn't all that high these days, especially not the vertical bit), but the keyboard started failing after only a month, and had totally failed after only 6 months — and not in the sense of "no keystrokes" either, but in the sense of "random keystrokes making the machine all-but-unusable". It took another month for the keyboard to finally die completely, so I could get the machine working again with an external keyboard.

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Google API spring cleaning ends after four and a half years

Robert Baker

Re: They could have fixed it...

I had a similar problem the other day -- I wanted to search specifically for "Skin'ead O'Connor" (the nickname she commonly had in her early days, due to her ridiculously short hair), but Google assumed that the search I wanted was "Sinèad O'Connor". If that was what I'd wanted, I would have typed it (probably without the grave).

I hate it when dumb people or bots assume that they know better than me what I want; they don't.

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Microsoft researchers smash homomorphic encryption speed barrier

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Stamp out homophorbia

I don't believe in J. R. Hartley, therefore J. R. Hartley must be eliminated. OBEY! OBEY! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!!

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Robert Baker
Joke

Pity we don't still have Alan Turing

He would have been great at this -- after all, he was homogeneous.

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This Android Trojan steals banking creds and wipes your phone

Robert Baker
Joke

"Я сделал, но теперь я не могу преобразовать его обратно. Помогите!!"

I will not buy this tobacconist's, it is scratched, comrade.

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UK ISP Sky to make smut an opt-in service from 2016

Robert Baker

"the parents who would rather the state taught their children right from wrong cry and moan that it's too easy to search "tits" on Google"

Which could be a problem for the kids if they're trying to do homework on the wild birds of Britain.

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Kids' TV show Rainbow in homosexual agenda shocker

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Or the Twanger episode

"Then there were Bill and Ben in a bed with little Weed."

What were Bill and Ben smoking in those pipes of theirs?

Weeeed!

(They say the old ones are the best...)

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Robert Baker
Pint

"Let's give them a bottle of Glen's Vodka or Merrydown Cider instead,"

Whoever downvoted this post is clearly too dumb even to recognise sarcasm, much less understand it.

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Music lovers move to block Phil Collins' rebirth

Robert Baker

Re: Non Story?

It's well known that e-petitions aren't worth the paper they're written on.

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Oh dear, Microsoft: UK.gov signs deal with LibreOffice

Robert Baker
FAIL

Re: Cue all the usual stuff about incompatibility etc

"pish

[Ctrl-Home] and [Ctrl-End]"

Once more, I get an idiot response from someone replying to what they believed I said, rather than what I actually said. The keys above move to the beginning or end of the document; what I was referring to was moving to the beginning or end of a range (a contiguous block of non-empty cells, running in any of the four principal directions).

Can LO do this? If so, why doesn't it do this using the standard [End] followed by the relevant arrow key functionality offered by all previous spreadsheets? Why should the end-user have to flap about with key bindings, just to get the thing working properly?

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Robert Baker
Flame

Re: Cue all the usual stuff about incompatibility etc

LO isn't anywhere near as strong as Excel.

I sometimes use Excel for working on very large spreadsheets. Libre Office Calc is useless for this because it lacks the vitally important navigation feature of using [End]+[arrow key] to quickly move to the start or end of a large range. But when I pointed out this lack to the LO team, they just replied "that's a Microsoft feature" as if this were somehow a valid reason for not including it in LO. (And in any case they're wrong; it dates back at least to Lotus 1-2-3, which is probably why it ended up in Excel in the first place).

Microsoft Works; LO doesn't, for me at least.

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'I posted winning race ticket in Facebook selfie ... and someone stole it!'

Robert Baker

Re: Obviously intelligence is not involved in either betting or boasting.

"It seems it's easily done: only a couple of years ago a Reg writer included a photo in an article in which his credit card details could be read (except of course for those numbers on the back by the signature strip)."

It's for that reason that, when I took and uploaded a picture of my Raspberry Pi with a "credit card" for size comparison, what I actually used was my Costa Coffee Club card; no identity information on the front.

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Wikipedia’s biggest scandal: Industrial-scale blackmail

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: I gave up on Wikipedia a while ago...

"However, I can't complain about the spiced meats and interesting cheeses they use"

Because if you do, you get reverted? :-)

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Robert Baker
FAIL

Re: I think Captain Scarlet would go under

"The Captain Scarlet page was created on 8 January 2003."

And Wikipedia existed long before then.

What are you wittering on about?

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Robert Baker
Holmes

Re: An experience with Wikipedia

Reminds me of another revert I suffered — the Chuck-a-Luck article included a section about two computer variants involving three-sided and nine-sided "dice", but a quick web search revealed that the only other published information was the inserter's own web site (to which, of course, the section gave a link). So I deleted it on the grounds of the rule "Wikipedia is not for things you made up one day" — only to be reverted on the grounds that "I had removed information", by a self-important twit who didn't bother to check what I had removed, nor why (he didn't even read the edit summary). (So I just redid the deletion, reiterating that the deleted section was non-notable self-promotion; and it was the other editor who got in trouble for the incident, not I.)

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Robert Baker
FAIL

Re: I think Captain Scarlet would go under

"I have no idea..."

Try reading what I posted again; and bear in mind that Wikipedia is being constantly edited. Just because the information is there now, that doesn't in any way "disprove" what I wrote.

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Robert Baker
FAIL

The problem with Wikipedia

One big problem with Wikipedia is that it hinges on the dubious concept of "notability". "Notability" is one of those ideas which sounds fine, as long as you don't look at it too closely; the problem is, who decides what is "notable", and on what basis do they decide?

I have had at least two of my Wikipedia edits reverted on the grounds that it isn't enough for virtually everyone in Britain over the age of 30 to have heard of something; to be notable, it has to be something that Americans have heard of. One of them was Captain Scarlet.

(Wikipedians are indestructibly stupid — you are not. Remember this and do not try to imitate them.)

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Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Was the USSR an ally of Nazi Germany?

Sounds like that Wikipedian has an Axis to grind.

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ICO fines anti nuisance call company for making nuisance calls

Robert Baker
FAIL

Re: One small step

"Time to ban anonymous calls, IMO - at least from non-residential lines..."

Unfortunately, there are legitimate reasons for anonymous calls; I used to volunteer for a local branch of Mind, and their calling was set to anonymous in case, for example, they ever needed to return the call of an abuse victim without the abuser later finding out from the phone bill or whatever that they had done so.

If I blocked anonymous calls, my GP surgery would be unable to contact me.

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'WOMAN FOUND ON MARS' – now obvious men are from Venus

Robert Baker
Pint

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus?

Ideas like that are from Uranus.

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Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

Robert Baker
Coat

Re: Bigger place...

Sometimes the train journey from Blackpool to London takes almost that long.

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Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

Robert Baker

Re: re: 2015-June-02 is pretty unambiguous @James O'Shea

Actually, it wasn't the Greeks (at least in Biblical times) who screwed up the dating. The AD epoch was established in 520-something AD by Dionysius Exiguus, and it's believed that he deliberately fudged his calculations to make the year he established AD be the start of the second Easter cycle.

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Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Depends...

In which case "phone the ${expletive} ambulance" is more likely to be uttered...

If someone says/shouts "Call the fucking ambulance!", will Siri try to despatch an ambulance all the way from Austria?

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ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Robert Baker
Coat

Re: Mondegreen

Reminds me of the time I could have sworn I'd just seen a magazine cover advertising Resident Elvis. Then I did a double-take and saw that it was actually Resident Evil 5.

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

Robert Baker
Pint

Re: Someone set us up the bomb!

Er, it was "someone set up us the bomb".

In AD 2015, AYB was continuing. :-) (Old memes never die, they just smell that way.)

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Robert Baker
Mushroom

Bad use of SI units, again

"...a distance of about 80kms from San Francisco"

80 kilometre-seconds? WTF is a kilometre-second when it's at home?

Presumably El Reg meant "80km", just as batteries are commonly (mis-)rated as "2000mAh" instead of 2Ah.

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Web geeks grant immortality to Sir Terry Pratchett – using smuggled web code

Robert Baker
Flame

"Am I the only person who thinks this is a crass waste of time, effort and bandwidth by people who usually consider themselves more intelligent than average?"

Very likely; look at the number of downvotes your post has gathered. One of the few times recently that downvotes here have actually made sense.

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Robert Baker
Holmes

Re: This makes me so happy

This sub-thread is reminiscent of the way misinformed people accuse J K Rowling of "plagiarism" for various reasons, in particular that Hogwarts is supposedly "ripped-off" from Greyfriars because both are fictional boarding-schools; not realising that by the same "logic" the Billy Bunter stories are themselves "ripped-off" from Storky & Co. (or whatever the exact title is), which in turn was "ripped-off" from Tom Brown's Schooldays. (In reality, of course, the only thing all four have in common are that they are boarding-school stories.)

What the JKR detractors fail to realise is that the art of story-telling does not consist of devising a new story, but of devising a new way to tell one of the half-dozen or so stories which are all there are, or are ever likely to be. Isaac Asimov freely admitted that the classic Foundation series was heavily based on Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, but I've never heard of anyone thinking any less of it, or of Asimov, because of this.

tl;dr: There's a world of difference between "inspired by" and "stolen from".

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Sir Terry remembered: Dickens' fire, Tolkien's imagination, and the wit of Wodehouse

Robert Baker
IT Angle

Re: ZX-81

"In 1980, he moved into PR and became the press officer for three nuclear power plants run by the UK's Central Electricity Generating Board."

"A computer enthusiast since the early days (his first machine was a Sinclair ZX81), [...]"

Well, of course.

Maybe he was in charge of the ZX81s which controlled the power plants. :-)

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Robert Baker
Flame

Re: Sad

To my mind, the votes here have become meaningless due to abuse; for instance, why downvote a joke post?

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Superfish: Lenovo? More like Lolnono – until they get real on privacy

Robert Baker
Coat

Pike…? Pun not intended, eh…?

Carp diem.

I wondered how long it would take this thread to descend into fish puns. Please, let's have no more of such pollocks — there's no plaice for it these dace.

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Robert Baker
Joke

Re: It's a chap called Joel Birch I feel sorry for

There's perfectly innocent web sites out there serving superfish.js and superfish.css. I'm sure no-one will think those are anything to do with spyware...

But the resemblance is superfishal.

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$533 MEEELLION – the cost of Apple’s iTunes patent infringement

Robert Baker
WTF?

Slide to lock/unlock?

Surely that idea has been known for centuries — it's called a "bolt".

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'Camera-shy' Raspberry Pi 2 suffers strange 'XENON DEATH FLASH' glitch

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Amazing...

Considering the 10cm light source to component, I'd strongly suspect no significant effect in strong sunlight.

Indeed; in the latter case, the distance to the light source is 150*10^9 metres.

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Robert Baker
Joke

Re: E.M.P. anyone ?

Winter is when we get most sunny days, even with the shorter days there's probably more hours when it is sunny. It's summer when it tends to be grey and overcast.

Surely it's summer when the rain is warm.

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WATCH IT: It's watching you as you WATCH IT (Your Samsung telly is)

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: So far, so unsettling

' *Everybody* has something to hide '

...except John Lennon and his monkey.

(They say the old ones are the best...)

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'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely

Robert Baker
Trollface

"Deck the halls" anyone?

Can it translate that idiomatically, without descending into "we now put on our homosexual clothing" or "yuletide carols are for trolls"?

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Grand Theft Auto 1997: 'Sick, deluded and beneath contempt'

Robert Baker

Such a pity...

...that Mary Whitehouse was no longer around by the time of GTA. If she had been, they could have had the complete set of condemnation.

Imagine how that would have boosted sales.

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Robert Baker

Re: buckfast

You forgot "6031769" — THE classic text cheat code surely, up there with the Konami Kode in legendary status.

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Bloke in Belgium tries to trademark Je Suis Charlie slogan

Robert Baker
Pint

Re: Interesting graphic

Ayatollah Khomeini is Shia Muslim, you ignorant oink.

I always did think he was talking Shi'ite.

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Q*bert: The Escher-inspired platform puzzler from 1982

Robert Baker
Happy

I have fond memories of two Q*Bert clones for the Speccy — Pi-Balled (by Automata of course, as you probably gathered from the title) and Pogo which IIRC was by Ocean. The Spectrum's low colour resolution meant that a 100% faithful conversion wasn't possible (Slick and Sam couldn't be rendered green, for a start), but those two were pretty close; Pogo in particular was the only Speccy version I saw which had Ugg and Wrong-Way.

Talking of Pogo, I think Ocean was a label of Electronic Arts, either from the start or by acquisition; I wonder if that game gave its name to EA's Pogo online games service?

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Yotaphone 2: The two-faced pocket-stroker with '100 hours' batt life

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Chile @Simulacra75

Was it led by forces from Thames Television?

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Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water

Robert Baker
Joke

Re: Only last night ..

What a pity that food PC means that Scotch Eggs/Pies can no longer be made with real Scotch.

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Six charged over StubHub e-ticket heist for Elton John gigs

Robert Baker
IT Angle

I only hope that a change in the law, or in perceived "good" practice, never causes all e-commerce sites to start adding those stupid 'onpaste="return false"' parameters to their input fields, making it impossible to paste in such things as my debit-card number (it's 16 digits long for gods' sake, even if it were memorable it would be a pain to type every time) or (even worse) my password (if a password is even feasible to remember or to type, much less easy, it's nowhere near strong enough). As I explained this morning in a reply to an email from one such shite wondering why I never completed the order I was trying to place with them, if I encounter this or any other dumb and pointless obstacles to my ordering, I take my business to another site whose webmasters aren't so stupid.

The day all e-commerce entails jumping through such hoops will be the day e-commerce is dead as far as I'm concerned.

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Premier League wants to PURGE ALL FOOTIE GIFs from social media

Robert Baker
Pint

Re: Premier League Football?

Isn't drinking American "beer" said to be like shagging in a boat? :-)

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Robert Baker
Thumb Up

@Lodgie

If you do, just make sure you copy it right. :-)

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