* Posts by Ted Treen

1707 posts • joined 19 Apr 2007

Apple ships security fixes for iOS, OS X, Safari ... basically EVERYTHING

Ted Treen
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@AC

Missed your meds?

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Farewell Felix Dennis, deal-maker supreme of tech publishing

Ted Treen
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Re: RIP Felix ...

RIP Felix too, from someone who values anyone who refuses to roll over for the establishment - in almost any area of life.

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Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Ted Treen
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Coat

Re: We don't know!

Perhaps he doesn't hear what he's told, 'cos he's a Def Leppard...

Coat 'n' Cab, please...

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Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: FUD

OK, it's stopped...

So it's "Goodnight" from me...

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Swiftkey: We just want to be free - Apple didn't bump us

Ted Treen
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Pirate

Re: Commentard Fail

Don't knock their bigoted ranting:- at least it keeps 'em off the streets and out of harm's way...

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Compare Apple's and oranges: LaCie's hi-vis jacket-wearing disk is not for hipsters

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

"...Compare Apple's and oranges...

Compare Apple's what with oranges?

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Ted Treen
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Paris Hilton

@AC 6 Days ago...

"...the average El Reg commentard's extra-martial philanderings..."

extra-MARTIAL philanderings?

Why should commentards fancy (or be) a bit of rough?

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Report pegs Apple for October smartwatch release

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: Sorry folks.....…..…

If so many are in the pay of the aforementioned, then WTF am I not also..?

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Tech talk bloke compares girlfriend to irritating Java tool – did he deserve flames?

Ted Treen
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Happy

@AC 4 Hrs ago (Re: He is giving a talk about maven)

"I'm a shy computer nerd and have an attractive wife and two kids myself."

Two kids?

Not all that shy, then.

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Apple? More like FAP-PLE: Fanbois are the BIGGEST PERVS, say people who know

Ted Treen
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Trollface

What? Even bigger than...

...those whose whole raison d'être appears to be to scour the web to find spurious items for a vicarious pop at Apple?

Oh, wait! It's Jasper, of course. MD of "Trolls'R'Us"...

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Panasonic pulls pyromaniac batteries

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: It's no surprise

Is not humble water a chemical?

H20 ring a bell?

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Ballmer SLAM-DUNKS $2 BEEELLLION bid for LA Clippers

Ted Treen
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Alert

I can't grasp...

...why our rebel colonial cousins get so het up about basketball and baseball.

On our civilised side of the pond, we leave these games to schoolgirls and call them by their proper names, viz Netball and Rounders.

Perhaps after all, that nice Mr. Ballmer really is a big girl's blouse...

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Hackers pose as hacks: Iranian crew uses Facebook to spy on US defence bods – report

Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: Perfect Cover?

Seeing what our UK politicos have done on YouTube etc., and their Twitter/Facebook stuff as reported in the press (I don't do Facebook or Twitter), perhaps ALL politicos and their ilk should be banned from the interwebs in general...

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Apple: Scrubbing may not yet have cleansed iThings of BLOOD

Ted Treen
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Meh

Re: To be fair...

Of course it "ain't cool"'.

It's Jasper on his regular anti-Apple trollfest...

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ICO raps UK Student Loans Co for leaking MEDICAL files and more

Ted Treen
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Devil

Of FAR more interest...

...would be the psychological profiles of the scum high-ups in the banks & loan companies who prey upon cater to students.

Any takers on almost 100% psychopaths?

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iDevice ransomware stalks OZ, demands payoff

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Yet again...

the inherent weakness in ANY system - iOS, Android, Windows, OSX, Linux - is the liveware.

PICNIC again.

Problem

In

Chair

Not

In

Computer

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Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Ted Treen
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Trollface

Does he?

Why?

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PayPal Manager bug left web stores open to cyber-burglars

Ted Treen
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Pint

Makes a nice change...

To see someone:-

a) sort it out very quickly

b) put their hand up to it without equivocating woffle

c) say "thanks" to the finder.

It's a pleasant change. A pint for PayPal.

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Watch this! The changing face of malware

Ted Treen
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Alert

Not surprised...

After all, operating systems are getting better & more security aware these days; so (to a degree) is utility software (even Flash, Acrobat etc.,) yet there's virtually no development in the weakest part of any system.

The Liveware.

The most prevalent virus I've come across in the last few years has had different effects, but it's all been the PICNIC virus:-

Problem In Chair Not In Computer.

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What's that crunching noise? Lenovo running over rivals' bones

Ted Treen
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Holmes

Really?

"China – the largest consumer of PCs on the planet"

Natch:- all those hacking cadres in the PLA to train...

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Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

Ted Treen
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Alert

The old adage...

Bank screws man:- not news.

Man screws bank:- NEWS!

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We'd switch mobile networks, but we can't be bothered – survey

Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: Glad I switched

...AND Three produce those very amusing commercials with dancing ponies, singing kittens and whatever they've got planned next.

A bit of silliness in a dull world never hurts...

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Comcast exec says wired broadband customers should pay-as-they-go

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: Perversely, I thought metering was sane.

If Ben Franklin were alive today:-

"There are only three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and being screwed by business"

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SMASH AND GRAB iThieves run car through front of Berkeley's Apple Store

Ted Treen
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Re: Hasn't El Reg heard of ramraiding before?

@David 45

Local constabulary turning up @ 0200 to investigate a phoned-in robbery suspicion?

What a novel idea.

Ours (both of 'em) would be investigating B&Bs for not promoting equality of sexual orientation, or arresting people who used naughty words on Twitter. Or snoozing...

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Amazon granted patent for taking photos against a white background – seriously

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: Insane

...and if said vending machine is equipped with a Z80 or 6502 it will have far more intelligence/processing power/awareness than the USPTO has collectively.

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NHS patient data storm: Govt lords SLAP DOWN privacy protections

Ted Treen
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Holmes

Re: It might be illuminating ...

Cynicism is realism...

...at least, it is when the subject is The Palace of Westminster.

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PEAK APPLE: Mystery upstart to hurl iLord from its throne 'by 2020'

Ted Treen
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Happy

@Roo - Re: Oh Yeah...?

And we plebs have eggs, as Prescott found out...

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Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Oh Yeah...?

"...Fred Wilson reckons Apple will no longer be the top dog of tech by 2020..."

Window cleaner Herbert Bloggs disagrees with him, and furthermore says "Fred Wilson will no longer be much of a venture capitalist by 2020."

How many venture capitalists, analysts and bankers have we seen with egg-splattered faces in the last few decades?

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Please work for nothing, Mr Dabbs. What can you lose?

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: Networking @Cliff

Too true.

In a goldrush, the main people who get rich are the ones selling shovels...

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Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: Existing Solutions

"... there would be less second and third cars around..."

You mean bits are going to drop off them - or do you mean "... there would be fewer second and third cars around..."?

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Look behind you, 'declining' sub-$5bn iPod. The iWatch has come... to EAT YOU

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Rumours...

"...an analyst has predicted..."

Whatever precedes (or follows) those words has all the credibility of a tale by The Brothers Grimm...

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CEO Tim Cook sweeps Apple's inconvenient truths under a solar panel

Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: Outgassing

...or even the rabid iFoes...

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Apple fanbois eat static as Beeb, Sky web stream vids go titsup on iOS

Ted Treen
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Re: At the risk of being downvoted

The device works - it's an external service which ain't servicing - which isn't Apple's fault...

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Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?

Ted Treen
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Pint

What???

"...all the major food groups, i.e. dairy, fruit, sponge and jelly..."

But everyone knows the major food groups include cholesterol, caffeine and brown sauce...

...oh, and beer!

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Apple DOMINATES the Valley, rakes in more profit than Google, HP, Intel, Cisco COMBINED

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

@SJG (or in praise of him)

"It's your money, go buy whatever you want, but please stop telling everyone else that they're idiots.

At last - a (very rare) comment of such total common sense and rationality that I feel SJG should be stuffed, mounted and preserved on the wall as an example of how to reason properly.

If you can use what you're comfortable with (any platform) then why should you face vituperative invective from those whose choice(s) might be otherwise?

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A black box for your SUITCASE: Now your lost luggage can phone home – quite literally

Ted Treen
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Black Helicopters

Self-awareness?

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that...

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Obama allows NSA to exploit 0-days: report

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

@Brenda McViking (Re: Wrist, meet slap)

I never believe ANYTHING until it's been officially denied...

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Apple to flush '£37bn' down the bog if it doesn't flog cheapo slabtops

Ted Treen
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Holmes

Re: For $63Bn

Analysts are rather like eunuchs in a harem:-

Forever telling everyone how to do it, whilst being singularly incapable of doing it themselves.

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Danes debut Bluetooth-connected 'made for iPhone' hearing aids

Ted Treen
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Coat

My wife...

...tells me I'm going deaf.

I replied (only once) that it's her fault: she's worn my ears out.

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Cyber hostage-takers SCAMMED six times as many people last year

Ted Treen
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Mushroom

Harrumph...

It's arseholes like these who make me reconsider my long-held opposition to Capital Punishment.

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Broadband Secretary of SHEEP sensationally quits Cabinet

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Re: poacher/gamekeeper

"Time for a truly independent system."

Of course - the time is well overdue:- but do you see the establishment ever permitting it?

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How Brit computer maker beat IBM's S/360 - and Soviet spies

Ted Treen
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Devil

Plus ça change...

"...English Electric was forced into a marriage by the British government of the time that led to the creation of ICL, as masterminded by then-government minister Tony Benn..."

Similarly the takeovers/mergers of banks & building societies masterminded by Brown & Balls...

Similarly the takeovers/mergers of almost any other companies masterminded by politicians of all parties...

How many of these shotgun marriages have ever worked?

...err, approximately none.

Why are these third-rate incompetents allowed to bugger about with things which they don't understand and haven't got a snowball's chance in Hell of ever understanding?

Oh yes, that's it. Absolutely no personal liability whatsoever, but it's we plebs who pay the price for their inevitable cock-ups.

</rant>

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Report mash-up: Apple to sell 65 million $269 iWatches in first year

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

No, it's not...

"...but hey, it's Apple. ®..."

It's unsubstantiated rumour and speculation.

Nothing more.

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Apple execs: 'Consumers want what we don't have'

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

@Graham Marsden

"Yeah, but at least you don't have lawyers getting rich off it..."

Not yet 'cos it hasn't happened. In the event of such an occurrence, I bet some Legal Eagle Vulture already has plans to capitalise on the situation...

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Wanna attend Apple's June developers' shindig? Ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?'

Ted Treen
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FAIL

Learn how to use it...

Ever thought about saving your downloaded install file and using an 8GB pen-drive to build an installer? No, thought not.

The interweb is full of instructions - very easy to follow - and you don't have to enter any ID to install it. I did this for several (well, 5) Macs at work without a glitch...

Never mind, enjoy your ranty whinge - even if you're wrong.

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David Cameron defends BT's taxpayer-funded broadband 'monopoly': It's a 'success story'

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: I don't think that Prime Minister David Cameron knows what he's defending.

Translation of Cameronspeak:-

"I don't know what the suppliers have done; I don't understand what they're trying to do and even if I had a glimmer, I wouldn't understand what was involved; but I do know that I've spent absolutely oodles of your hard-earned on it. That, naturally, makes it a huge success."

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BT Tower to be replaced by 3D printed BT Tower

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

@AC:- Re: 10 Downing Street

"...self-serving, publicity-seeking politicians..."

Is there any other kind?

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UK cops: Keep yer golden doubloons, ad folk. Yon websites belong ta PIRATES

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: 'Evidenced and verified'

Of course they would:- but I look forward to the time when someone on the list, but otherwise unconvicted, tests their inclusion under the UK's (archaic & draconian) libel laws...

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Life support turned off: NHS Direct dies silent, undignified death

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Fitting.

"...NHS Direct dies silent, undignified death,,,"

As did some of those who put their faith in the service.

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Original iPhone dev team was 'shockingly small' - Apple engineer

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

Dead right...

As the old saw puts it, "A camel is a horse designed by a committee."

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