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* Posts by Ted Treen

1616 posts • joined 19 Apr 2007

Peak Apple: Forstall was 'closest thing to Jobs they had left'

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Latest score

Trollfest 1: Real news 0

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Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

Ted Treen
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Trollface

I rather think...

...that it's somewhat more than a fortnight old.

Still, nothing gets in the way of a Leach trollfest.

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Apple kicked out of China smartphone top 5 by, er, Yulong and pals

Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: @ Tchou (@Ted Treen)

You may well be right, Sir!

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Ted Treen
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FAIL

Re: @ Tchou (@Ted Treen)

Evidently, I'm thinking rather more effectively than you, sir.

"Think different" not "Think differently" was an Apple slogan. Some years ago.

It really never ceases to amaze me that the anti-Apple mouth-foamers delight in pointing out that in smartphones, Apples marketshare is <30%, and in computers, <20%. Yet they claim that those who purchase a minority product are sheep.

Now let me get to grips with this idea...

The minority who purchase Apple products are sheep, and the majority who go along with what they consider 'mainstream products' are rugged individualists.

Go along with the crowd/majority, and you're an individualist: be part of a minority, and you're a sheep.

Well it looks like Orwell was correct in his writing regarding Newspeak. Evidently "War IS peace", "Freedom IS slavery" and "Ignorance IS strength".

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Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Re: Even the most brainwashed iSheep can see the pattern now

Nice one Bob.

An article by Dan Crow (Who he?) in that well-known journal of technical excellence, The Grauniad, confirms that you are one of the elite cognoscenti, and anyone with the temerity to think differently is a sheep.

Great stuff!

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Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

Looks nice.

I'm quite happy with my iPhone, but I love it when Apple's competition introduce something that's good.

There's nothing like a bit of competition to act as a spur to ALL manufacturers, which generally results in a better product for the end user.

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ALIEN DETECTION was SUPPRESSED by the BBC - top boffin

Ted Treen
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WTF?

Healthier how?

I LIKE Werther's Originals...

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What made us human? Being ARMED with lethal ranged weapons

Ted Treen
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Holmes

This could be a problem...

The world's last surviving neanderthal (John Prescott) might be advised he has a damages case against Homo Sapiens...

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Office for Android, Apple iOS: 'REALLY REAL this time' - report

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Re: Several decent, fully featured Office suites on Android already

Because if you don't, a certain simian CEO might find himself with whatever is the Merkin version of a P45...

...and you wouldn't want to be responsible - even in part - for that, would you?

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'iPhone 5 is so easily scratched we just can't get them out the door'

Ted Treen
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FAIL

Re: cynical ploy

Wrong ploy:

Writing crap which thrills the Apple-haters and gets Apple zealots all of a quiver is a cynical ploy to ensure Leach doesn't become a bag lady sometime soon...

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Apple engineers 'pay no attention to anyone's patents', court told

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: They're stretching the definition of a VPN to breaking point

I think using "prey" instead of "pray" when commenting on a case involving Patent Lawyers would count as the granddaddy of all Freudian slips...

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Ted Treen
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Flame

It appears...

...that without joining the brouhaha over what is and what isn't a valid patent, that not only is the US patent system intrinsically broken, but US patent attorneys have all the morals of hyenas, and the Texas Patent Courts seem to exist in some peculiar little space warp of their own, frequently making decisions which completely fly in the face of logic and rational thought.

I recall Goldman Sachs being described in Rolling Stone as "...a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money."

They must be related to Patent Lawyers - the resemblance is unmistakeable.

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Ted Treen
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Happy

Re: Love these lawyers

During the early '80s, I installed WP equipment there, and I recall the Partner/Manager with whom I dealt was one Tony Payne.

Yup, I had to send letters to A Payne, of Wright Hassell.

You couldn't make it up...

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UK prosecutors, cops ponder new probe into NASA hacker McKinnon

Ted Treen
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Trollface

Re: The never-ending David Blunkett effect

...and he didn't see it coming...

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Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Re: It's time for this circus to end..

Gary didn't make them look stupid.

They've being doing that for years quite successfully, all on their own, without any outside help.

As has ours, before anyone accuses me of partisan bias.

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Welsh council's unused mountain of 2,400 laptops

Ted Treen
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Flame

Re: lets see someone sacked for this.

Very good.

Out in the real world it would happen - but not, of course, in the public sector.

It's only taxpayers' money, so who cares?

There's plenty more where that came from.

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Mmm, what's that smell: Coffee or sweat? How to avoid a crap IT job

Ted Treen
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Alert

"Licking the hand that feeds IT - but give the kiddies a 'Yar Boo Sucks' session if we can even vaguely allude to Apple."

That's about it:- under the auspices of El Reg's very own Troll Queen...

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Apple must apologise for its surly apology on its website on Saturday

Ted Treen
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Trollface

Re: Highly respected online forum????

"...the register declared highly respected in a court of law..."

So are lawyers - and these days, the degree of comprehension, veracity and useful information is much the same from both.

Troll? to 'honour' Leach - the Troll Queen if ever there was one

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Analyst slams Apple innovation FAIL

Ted Treen
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Re: Simply becuase

Judging from their spoutings, I seriously doubt that the majority of analysts could count the fingers on one hand and come up with the same answer twice running.

I also believe that if an assistant janitor in an obscure public toilet made a less-than-complimentary comment regarding Apple, The Register would splash it as a headline:- 'bigging up' the aforementioned janitor as an "industry watcher", "technical guru" or "respected commentator" or some such meaningless tosh...

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EE 4G LTE review

Ted Treen
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Meh

Re: Bristol is Broken - EE 4G related?

At work in Derby:- "Unable to activate mobile data" since around 0930 today.

It's just come back on.

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APPLE: SCREW YOU, BRITS, everyone else says Samsung copied us

Ted Treen
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FAIL

Unsurprising...

"...and is a mealy mouthed six-paragraph account..."

Unlike Leach's effort - which is a mealy mouthed seven-paragraph account

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N00bs vs Windows 8: We lock six people in a room with new OS

Ted Treen
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Happy

Natch...

"...MS could have done better with 8 year olds as advisers..."

But you've got to find an 8-yr old who's the intellectual equivalent of Balmer.

Where d'you find a kid that dim?

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Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: Next time

So...

I use a desktop at work and at home.

After half an hour of reaching out to tap a vertical screen, my arm's going to be aching like hell.

Touchscreens are OK for mobies, tablets, and things of that ilk - but for desktops?

Do me a favour!

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Samsung ships two smartphones for every one Apple sells

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

And...

Proving what, exactly?

Ford sells rather more than twice the number of cars that Jaguar or Aston Martin sells.

Am I supposed to infer therefore that a Fiesta is a better buy than a V12 Vantage?

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Apple's 13-inch Retina MacBook torn asunder for your pleasure

Ted Treen
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FAIL

Re: Really disappointed

Why?

If you don't like it, then don't buy one.

Or are you omniscient, thus everything you dislike is unworthy of existence?

Or are you just a twat with an undeserved and unearned sense of superiority?

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Unisys tastes red ink in mouth after pension chop-slap

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

Re: Surprised still around as well

I started with Burroughs at the start of the '80's as a techie - specifically for the launch of the B20 (CTOS powered desktop micro).

Happy days - and a good time too!

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iPad Mini: Why is Apple SO SCARED of the Kindle?

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: eh?

@Lusty

I suspect that at some time in the future, much of the highly esteemed Ms Leach's output will be viewed in the same light as Michael Dell's "Liquidate Apple & give the cash to the shareholders" pronouncement.

No doubt Ms Leach is far more attuned to running a high-tech company than Apple's management is:- it must be all that time spent scribbling for the Grauniad - who, I must admit deserve a prize for their offshore-centred tax avoidance, and their sheer chutzpah in slating anyone else for it.

From such a school's ethos, we judge its graduates

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Natwest biz banking service goes titsup overnight

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

And of course...

...you reported your windfall to the Inland Revenue...

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Ted Treen
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Alert

Re: Amazing...

Three down votes already? I thought the Leach fan club would still be at school until 4.00pm...

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Ted Treen
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Paris Hilton

Amazing...

Leach hasn't blamed Apple...

...yet!

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McKinnon case is NOT a precedent – says his own lawyer

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

@ Nuked...

"I don't think the Government are at all in touch with the strength of feeling around these issues."

Too many words.

"I don't think the Government are at all in touch."

There. That's better

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iPhone 5 is the 'most difficult, scratchy device Foxconn has ever made'

Ted Treen
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Trollface

....again?

I'm beginning to suspect "Anna Leach" is a pen name used by one S. Ballmer.

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McKinnon will not be extradited to the US, says Home Secretary

Ted Treen
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Boffin

"...a statute of limitations on computer crime?..."

No.

In the UK, there is only a statute of limitations for CIVIL claims.

There is no statute of limitations for any criminal act.

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Apple files disappearing-feature iPhone patent

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: AC 07:10

"Anyone ever thought these patent snippets are just journalistical trolling?"

Frequently - and I believe it's beyond doubt when the article carries a Leach by-line.

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Boffins baffled: HUGE EYEBALL washes up on Florida beach

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: Or it could be ...

...and your memory earns you The Order of the Boot.

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Six months under water and iPhone 4 STILL WORKS

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

"I hope the sue his ass"

Any chance of that again in English?

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That horrendous iPhone empurplement - you're holding it wrong

Ted Treen
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Boffin

@SuccessCase 11:04

"...the perfect example of Leach doing her usual Apple bashing..."

Quite.

I would have described it as sophistry - but that's possibly beyond Leach & her acolytes, so I'll just describe it as "the usual bollocks"

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Man charged over alleged April Jones Facebook trolling

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: No different from a Frankie Boyle joke

"...a Frankie Boyle joke..."

Frankie Boyle's a comedian???

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Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Probably...

...the same curmudgeon (i.e. me) who, upon reaching 60, has been heard to mutter "Youth is wasted on the young!"

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Iran linked to al-Qaeda's web jihadi crew by old-school phone line

Ted Treen
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Mushroom

Poor michael..

"Security researcher Michael Kemp found a list of the Middle East nation's leased lines..."

AND went public with it...

So that's a fatwah on him then...

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EE sets October date to power up UK 4G network

Ted Treen
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Megaphone

Re: Pricing

I think (I'm open to correction here) that Orange & T-Mobile users will have to switch to EE - this shouldn't be any trouble - but I believe that EE's 4G will only be available on contract, and not PAYG.

The latter may well be a problem for many, if I'm correct.

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US data show slump in Apple tablet share

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Benjamin Disraeli

"(There are) Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

'Nuff said.

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Googorola mysteriously pulls plug on ITC Apple patent probe

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Worrying...

Is this an outbreak of common sense?

No - common sense tells me that's highly improbable.

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Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: Don't Be Evil

No-one READS the Sun - they just look at the pictures...

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Steve Jobs resurfaces in Hong Kong

Ted Treen
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Holmes

Re: Could we build a mausoleum to house him?

Yup.

No-one today has heard of Sir Frank Whittle, but the names of Rolls Royce's MDs and Pratt & Whitney's CEOs trip readily of everyone's tongue. No-one recalls Igor Sikorsky, but we all recall Bell's CEO, Westland's MD, don't we?

"All they're going to remember are smart businessmen who stole or bought ideas, were masters of hype, and turned profits. (It is pathetic.)"

Do I detect just a smidgeon of intellectual snobbery and soi-disant superiority there?

Perhaps we also need to stop and reflect on the wider situation here, too. After all, who did more to introduce mobility to the masses?

Benz for his invention of the ICE-powered automobile?

Ford for his invention of mass-production of (comparatively) inexpensive cars? - thus making car ownership no longer the exclusive privilege of a wealthy few?

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Icelandic town demands vulva museum

Ted Treen
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Happy

...and

"...indigenous Icelandic animals..."

That include Björk?

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Google's disco-dancing uncle Schmidt trashes Apple's patent war

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: “are literally talking all the time about everything”

Now you're just being ridiculous.

Why in God's name would they be talking about Tuesdays?

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Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: So...

"baited breath"?

Been eating worms?

In suspense, I await with bated breath for confirmation or denial.

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Guardian's Robin Hood plan: Steal from everyone to give to us

Ted Treen
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Angel

Re: @Payx

"So quoting him isn't going to win me over to anything."

I can only quote Mr Rhett Butler - "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". I'm stating my point of view, not preaching to win converts. You disagree? - I am, like the esteemed Mr Mandelson, intensely relaxed about it.

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