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* Posts by Ted Treen

1675 posts • joined 19 Apr 2007

Want to know if that hottie has HIV? Put their blood in the DVD player

Ted Treen
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Not needed...

...for married couples.

The favoured position for married couples is "Doggy style"

Husband - sits up and begs...

Wife - rolls over and plays dead...

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Tax man to take a bite of tech employees' free meals?

Ted Treen
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Mushroom

I bet...

...the meal(s) provided for one D Hartnett by Vodafone inter alia were never taxed as benefit in kind...

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Office for Mac 2008 support umbilical chopped off

Ted Treen
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Happy

NeoOffice...

...works pretty well on my Macs. (FWIW)

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Spooky action at a distance is faster than light

Ted Treen
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Pint

Thank God...

"...The system only breaks down into two particles once entanglement is disrupted by the environment (an "observation")..."

Thank God it only occurs at a Quantum scale; - just imagine if seeing Harman, Miliband or Balls meant there were two of 'em..

come to think of it, with the Millipedes....

Scary thought

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Bank card-slurp nasty 'infects tills, ATMs', corrupt staff fingered

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Re: Common denominator....

"...lUsers and Windoze..."??

WTF have users of Apple products got to do with Windows on ATMs?

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Steve Jobs to supervise iPhone 6 FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

And of course...

..any post - no matter how reasonable or sensible - which DOESN'T heap vitriol on Apple & Jobs collects a mass of downvotes.

A clear sign that the teenies are not at school...

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Rocket boffinry in pictures: Gulp the Devil's venom and light a match

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

@hplasm - Re: I aim for the stars 02/04/13 0804

Spot on, old lad.

Couldn't agree more. And I don't think I could have put it so clearly and succinctly (albeit it a little generous).

Politics is definitely a world-wide job creation scheme for the terminally incompetent.

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Giant solar-powered aircraft to begin cross-country flight

Ted Treen
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Devil

Re: I love stuff like this..

What I love most is the thought of all those twisted little goblins in HM Treasury trying to work out how the hell they can quantifiably tax sunlight.

HeHeHe...

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Smartphone running 'Facebook OS' said to debut this week

Ted Treen
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Re: Ugh

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."

H.L. Mencken

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Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: and que the eletists that know it all....

Que (in French) means "That".

An interrogative - ¿Qué? - is Spanish.

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Ted Treen
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Devil

Re: @M Gale (29/03 23:57)

" If I wanted a Facebook account, I'd get a Facebook account."

Likewise - but I'd expect my family to have me sectioned well before I actually did it.

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I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: My excuse...

Ditto & likewise - except for the (increasing) tendency of people with iMacs trying to install a Windows version of Office or some such stuff - invariably followed by "But I thought Macs could run Windows" and me (mentally) replying "Yes they can, but not if you haven't installed it, you ****"

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Free speechers want into Apple and Samsung sealed court filings

Ted Treen
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@ Intractable Potsherd (Re: @ Pen-y-gors @ Ted Treen)

Pure sophistry.

Who decides what is private and what is "quasi-private"?

ANY company's financial details are purely the prerogative of:-

1) The shareholders

2) The tax authorities

3) Their bank.

No-one else has any right of access to it at all!

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Ted Treen
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WTF?

@ Pen-y-gors

"Free Speech" doesn't give you the right to access others' private info.

If you had a dispute with your bank - which went to court - would you consider that all & sundry had the right to pore over your bank statements in the name of "Free Speech"?

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Pyongyang Photoshop tomfoolery shows wet Norks, skirts blown up

Ted Treen
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Re: Inferior armed forces

Don't forget that the DPRK always escalates...

They had:-

Kim Jong Il

followed by:-

Kim Jong very Il

ending with:

Kim Jong Dead...

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Texas judge sends Uniloc packing in Rackspace patent suit

Ted Treen
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Alert

Re: Blody hell!

What's even MORE amazing - common sense in a TEXAS US patent court!

I think I'll go lie down in a darkened room...

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Movie, TV ads annoying? You ain't seen nothin' yet

Ted Treen
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Happy

Ads in general

Some ads - like the ones in Technology mags (and even the ones appearing on El Reg) I don't mind, as I find them informative, but I am aware they're trying to sell me a product.

What I do like is the straight-forward technical description of the product and its capabilities.

No. I don't accept this as gospel, but what it does do is generally give me sufficient data to decide if it's an appropriate product to add to my comparison list, from which I do further investigation to decide for myself which is the best option for my requirements and budget.

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MasterCard stings PayPal with payment fee hike

Ted Treen
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Mushroom

Re: Hey, Credit card companies....

Of course they laud the free market - which to them, means their freedom to dominate and/or own the market.

A pox and a plague on all their houses...

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Voyager goes off a (helio) cliff

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: Imagine

I am Nomad...

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Space probe spies MYSTERY 'Cold Spot' in very fabric of cosmos itself

Ted Treen
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The cold spots...

...could indicate a festival of Vogon poetry...

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Another iPhone passcode bypass spell revealed

Ted Treen
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Pint

Mostly true...

It's just the convoluted sequence of totally random operations that surface...

Nothing like logical sequencing to identify a weakness...

Maybe (at 63) I'm just too 'old school'.

Beer? - well, it's always welcome AND NOW WITH 1p OFF...

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Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Incredible...

Perform the most unlikely acts simultaneously, strangle a rubber chicken, sacrifice a virgin**, speak Satan's name three times backwards and you can bypass the security on iPhone/Galaxy/Whatever.

I have serious concerns about the mental well-being of those who not only discover such arcane procedures, but who spend time experimenting to find what sequences of odd behaviour might produce a result.

Unless the phone manufacturers start employing idiot-savants to test their new editions of each OS, it's impossible to guard against, as almost any normal, rational, well-balanced being wouldn't even be able to conceive of some of these "action chains".

**Good luck in finding one...

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Boffin road trip! The Reg presents Geek's Guide to Britain

Ted Treen
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Pint

Terrific.

What an excellent reason for visiting the vulture...

Beer for the bright spark who came up with this idea.

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Weev gets 41 months in prison for exposing iPad strokers' privates

Ted Treen
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Pint

'Internet will topple governments,' defendant proclaims...

If only it were that simple...

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eBay chief Donahoe sees his package nearly DOUBLE in size

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: The Lefties won't like it

Yes - I think he's overpaid - as I think of many of our "industry leaders", certainly the higher echelons of bankers and virtually all politicos.

I'm not by any means a lefty - some of my work colleagues consider me to be somewhat to the right of Genghis Khan - and I abhor NuLab, Millipede, Ed 'talking' Balls, Harridan Harperson etc. Neither do I have much time for Cameron (Blair Lite) or Clegg...

I'm I suppose an anti-authoritarian (can't be a lefty with that view) who believes in small government, and a libertarian but one who nevertheless thinks that a CEO receiving remuneration which is some 50, 100 or even 500 times what his employees earn is bordering on the obscene.

Please note I use the words "receiving remuneration" carefully, as there's no way on God's Earth that they can be said to earn it...

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Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Unless...

...you have overwhelming desires to buy a third-world country and appoint yourself "El Presidente for life", I cannot fathom why anyone would be desperate to receive $30Million (£20Million Sterling) per annum.

What in God's name could you want it for? Surely there's only so many yachts/aircraft/Ferraris you could own?

Unless it's for setting up a charitable foundation and doing some good, there must come a point where such wealth actually becomes a problem (security, time to deal with it, the vast army of bean-counters etc).

Maybe I'm just a peasant, but as long as I can pay my way, look after family etc., I'm content. If I were to receive such sums, then once I had a few million in the bank - well, maybe not there in the current circumstances - I'd say "Bugger work", and just enjoy life whilst doing charitable stuff with what I didn't need to keep.

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UK's £500m web dole queue project director replaced after JUST 4 months

Ted Treen
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Alien

How touching...

Your simple faith that there is in fact, a plan "A"...

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Microsoft backs law banning Google Apps from schools

Ted Treen
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Re: Gutless, cowardly and low

I think Mr Ballmer has just shown that his business ethics/operations have all the subtlety of an elephant with dysentery.

As have his furniture re-arrangement techniques

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BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Democracy...

...is a wonderful idea; and I'm all for it.

The establishment, however, will never permit it.

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Microsoft about-face: Office 2013 license IS transferable now

Ted Treen
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Re: Dude...

You beat me to it:- but I up voted you anyway.

And sent you a beer!

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HP shareholders advised to give chairman Ray Lane the boot

Ted Treen
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Agreed.

Such a statement would indicate due diligence.

Apparently not a speciality of HP's board...

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Indian atomic boffins draw up plans for 50,000 TONNE magnet

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: Good to know all that aid money is not being wasted, eh?

Very noble - but instead let's reduce the amount of tax filched from our pockets, look after our own elderly, look after our own servicemen and about a zillion other things which the mealy mouthed parasites of Westminster & Whitehall should be doing but which don't fit in with either their egotistical self-aggrandisement or their inveterate nest-feathering...

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Want a promotion? Study economics, says HDS economist

Ted Treen
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Devil

AC is right.

Looking at the predictions/judgements/assessments of all sorts of 'economists' over the last few years tells me that they all have one thing in common.

And they share that one thing with 'analysts', horoscope writers and seaside fortune-tellers.

That one thing is an almost unerring consistency in their guesswork (for that is all it is) being completely wrong yet at the same time convincing other muppets that their guesswork is worth paying huge amounts of money for.

Even Al Capone, Bugsy Siegel and our very own Kray Brothers were a little more subtle...

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US lawmaker blames bicycle breath for global warming gas

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: turbo-tastic

"Tax tax just to be pedantic about it."

The UK Gov'ts already doing that:- petrol (gasoline to you 'Merkins) is subject to Duty, and that Duty is then subject to VAT.

Thieving B'stards...

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'Brit Bill Gates' was powerless to stop HP's Autonomy acquisition

Ted Treen
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Pirate

Didn't HP exercise due diligence prior to purchase?

If they did, then Autonomy's concealing of a $5B 'mis-statement' is simply breathtaking: if they did not, then they should have.

Al in all, it's beginning to look like the 'due diligence' was either overdue or not quite diligent enough.

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Texan contends iPod EXPLODED IN HER FACE

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Re: Patent

"...she would patent exploding devices then sue Apple..."

...and knowing the logicality and common sense of patent legislation in Texas courts, she'd almost certainly win!

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Sergey Brin emasculated after HORROR smartphone disaster

Ted Treen
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Trollface

Re: New Balls Please

Equally, she might have had a lucky escape if he finds a gizmo more interesting than a human being..

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Chinese Army: US hacks us so much, I'm amazed you can read this

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Hardly surprising...

PRC hacking US - cyberterrorism.

US hacking PRC - Fighting for democracy & freedom.

As predictable as a Hollywood sequel.

Personally, I love democracy & freedom - or at least the thought of it - but it'll never happen: the establishment would never permit it.

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Moscow's speed cameras 'knackered' by MYSTERY malware

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Plank in thine own eye?

If they don't know the difference between license (verb) and licence (noun) they shouldn't be correcting others...

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Outsourcing your own job much more common than first thought

Ted Treen
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Re: "I think this guy was a genius "

Nay, Nay and thrice Nay!

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Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: ummmm @ casaloco 27/02/13 04:15 GMT

"Let's hire some management consultants!"

Consultant. Someone who knows 48 positions for making love - but doesn't know any girls...

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Judge bins Apple's plea to slash $368m FaceTime patent damages

Ted Treen
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Flame

It's all getting too much...

Some patent lawsuits are no doubt valid:- Goliath shouldn't steal from David - OR vice versa.

Others are purely trolling and without any merit - judgements in the good ol' Lone Star State being particularly suspect.

Unfortunately the rest of us are heartily sick of these as many appear to be a variant of playground squabbles and if all of the time and cash thrown in their direction was instead invested in R&D, we could have more competition and improving products, whether it's Samsung, Apple, Microsoft or even old MacDonald producing them.

Innovators must have protection from the rapacious sharks, but Patent Lawyers are usually the most rapacious and shark-like. There must be a better way.

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iPhones, 'droids go to WAR: US soldiers invade TOP-SECRET cloud

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

But...

What happens when the ungodly just stroll/amble into a US base, 'cos the grunts are all playing 'Angry Birds' or similar..?

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North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: @psyx (13:18)

"I might as well argue that anyone Rightist stamps around in jackboots, taking money from poor people."

Of course we wouldn't - they don't have any to take. We'd take it from the middle/upper middle classes.

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Ted Treen
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Re: I wish! (Homer 1 - 14:07)

"... Baldies are manly men with testosterone fuelled, manly shaped appendages..."

---according to a rumour (unverified) spread by baldies.

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US insurer punts 'bestiality' to wide-eyed kiddies, gasp 'mums'

Ted Treen
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Pint

Re: Why not?

Pure genius.

You should not AC yourself:- had I thought of that line, I'd want to flaunt it.

Shame I can only send one virtual beer...

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No mobile signal? Blame hippies and their eco-friendly walls

Ted Treen
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Headmaster

Re: @ Boltar

Standard use of English:-

"..."Except when it's the foil-lined plasterboard or polystyrene that seems to be cropping up..."

The descriptive 'foil-lined' refers to BOTH plasterboard AND polystyrene.

i.e.

"..."Except when it's the foil-lined plasterboard or foil-lined polystyrene that seems to be cropping up..."

OK?

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Cheap iPhone mini 'makes sense' for world domination

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: Almost amusing...

"...eventually Apple will become just a phone and they will have to play accordingly..."

Around the same time that BMW or Porsche become just another rep mobile, maybe?

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