* Posts by Ted Treen

1707 posts • joined 19 Apr 2007

Super Cali's futuristic Tesla batt swap focus – even though car tech test is an expected bonus

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

What a headline...

Nice article: the best headline of the year, too!

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BT to gobble EE for £12.5bn – BTEE phone home

Ted Treen
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Megaphone

Re: Blue Sky Ahead

Well I can't imagine many Politicos, Celebs etc., buying a mobe from a Murdoch company...

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LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French

Ted Treen
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Flame

@Yag

Tell that...

...to Joan of Arc.

Well it was a cold day, and she did keep us warm - for a while.

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GCHQ releases teen-friendly code-busting app

Ted Treen
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How odd...

My post appeared twice. (this is a re-edit of the second one).

I don't suppose GCHQ had a hand in the new El Reg interface...

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Ted Treen
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Big Brother

I agree...

...with the first two comments.

Aimed at teens, since they won't yet have developed the jaded cynicism (or realistic appraisal) with which we grown-ups view our dear overlords.

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Bernie Madoff's coders jailed for role in $65bn ponzi scheme fiasco

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: 18 billion? Peanuts. The real deal goes on.

Almost:- I agree the gov't budget is undoubtedly fraudulent and backed my figures which are probably a mixture of wishful thinking, pure invention and guesswork.

But for a real scam, just look across the Channel to the EU budget.

When was the last itime its auditors signed off the accounts?

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EU law bods: New eCall crash system WON'T TRACK YOU. Really

Ted Treen
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Coat

@Christoph

Thanks, I needed that!

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Sacre block! French publishers to sue Adblock maker – report

Ted Treen
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Stop

@Terry 6

"...And how often do they really feel tempted to see their friends naked?.."

As a 65-yr old whose circle of friends is generally aged roughly the same, just the thought was enough to put me off my cocoa & chocolate hob-nob.

Earlier warning of such suggestions would be in order...

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Reds hoist flag of glorious SDN internationale

Ted Treen
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Pint

Have a beer...

"...The packets, abstracted, will never be repeated...

The best play on words for years...

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Nothing illegal to see here: Tribunal says TEMPORA spying is OK

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Good grief!

"...The UK’s Investigatory Powers Tribunal (IPT) ruled Friday that GCHQ’s mass surveillance TEMPORA program is legal..."

So, one section of the UK establishment finds that the questionable clandestine activities of another part of the UK establishment are perfectly OK.

Well colour me effin' amazed...

As the delightful Ms Rice-Davis (nearly) said, "They would say that, wouldn't they?"

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MEPs want 'unbiased search', whatever that is – they're not sure either

Ted Treen
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Alert

A better option

I'm more with the board of Google:- who have just voted in favour of breaking up the EU.

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Brits to teach Norks hacks about 'multimedia websites'. 5% of DPRK is in for a TREAT

Ted Treen
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Devil

Re: errrm....

"...the chubby-one-with-the-bad-haircut..."

Is that the Dear Leader, or his sister?

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Bought an iPhone 6 Plus? Odds are you've binned the iPad

Ted Treen
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Facepalm

Aww C'mon...

...it's Jasper hoping for a load of anti-Apple trolls.

The terms "sophistry" and "economical with the actualité" might spring to mind.

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Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Ted Treen
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Trollface

Jeez...

Google agreed to stop using the word "Free", closely followed by Apple, yet the header screams at Apple, in line with the article itself.

Has El Reg blamed Apple for Ebola yet?

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ATTACK OF THE DRONES: ‘Nefarious’ private use rising, says top Blighty copper

Ted Treen
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Boffin

@Crisp

Actually unless they've changed the law in the last few years I seem to recall that prostitution itself isn't illegal in the UK, although I'm open to correction (fnarr, fnarr).

However, what is illegal is:-

a) Living wholly or partly on the earnings of prostitution

b) Soliciting for the purposes of prostitution

c) Permitting premises to be used for the purposes of prostitution

Natch, in true Brit style, the laws make it impossible to legally indulge in a legal pastime. Don'ch just lurve lawyers?

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Ted Treen
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Childcatcher

Re: Or - STOP PRESS!!!

Fred Plod further went on to define 'nefariousness' as anything being done without Plod's explicit permission, or of which Plod doesn't approve, or which Plod doesn't understand, or which smacks dangerously of individual freedom.

Furthermore, it is Plod's intention to change the UK legal system from one where everything is permitted, except that which is expressly prohibited into one in which everything is prohibited, except that which is expressly permitted.

It is to safeguard your children and foil the terrorists, of course.

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Heyyy! NICE e-bracelet you've got there ... SHAME if someone were to SUBPOENA it

Ted Treen
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Re: I seem to recall

"...<sorry I woke up on the cynical side of bed this morning>..."

Cynicism is realism.

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UK PM Cameron says Internet must not 'be an ungoverned space'

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Re: Cameron talking crap again

Indeed...

"...an effort to “root out” extremism from institutions..."

Might I suggest starting with The Palace of Westminster?

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Adobe appoints former Reg man as open-source chief mobile lead

Ted Treen
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Pirate

Yes, but...

...if Asay has served out his sentence at El Reg, and is duly penitent for whatever heinous crime saw him incarcerated there, then surely he has earned the right to rejoin normal society...

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Apple expands mobile device management program beyond USA

Ted Treen
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Re: > [Apple] just made its wares more attractive to lots more businesses.

I got rid of my desktop PC, and switched to installing VMWare Fusion on my (two monitor) desktop Mac.

More space (room) on my desk, and VMWare is a damn sight faster than the entry-level Dell that IT seem to affict us all with.

Haven't looked back since.

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FUTURE ROBOTS will EXTERMINATE UK jobs – study

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Re: MPs using pure logic . . .

They use fuzzy logic...

"The wants of the few, from the pockets of the many".

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This 125mph train is fitted with LASERS. Sadly no sharks, though

Ted Treen
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In fact...

"...all the other bits except the trains. Those belong to the TOCs..."

Not quite:- they generally belong to the ROSCOs (Rolling Stock Companies) and are leased by the TOCs.

Not only can most TOCs not do much off their own bat, their bat was taken off them years ago.

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'Tech giants who encrypt comms are unwittingly aiding terrorists', claims ex-Home Sec Blunkett

Ted Treen
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Boffin

@Neil Barnes

" One thing that would truly disable a politician is a proper sense of scale..."

Too many words.

"One thing that would truly disable a politician is sense."

There. Fixed it for you.

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Ted Treen
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Big Brother

"...'Tech giants who encrypt comms are unwittingly aiding terrorists', claims ex-Home Sec Blunkett..."

And I suppose those wicked stationers who make opaque envelopes preventing any old jobsworth reading our mail are just as guilty...

Although without "brown envelopes", how would our esteemed rulers receive their 'extras'? - so I suppose they'll have to stay.

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Apple strap-on wristjob: You WON'T be able to spend more than $5,000!

Ted Treen
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Jeez...

"...French Apple news blog iGen.fr cites unnamed sources..."

'UNNAMED SOURCES'???

Boy, that's gotta be accurate, reliable & trustworthy then...

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Hide your Macs, iPhones and iPads: WireLurker nasty 'heralds new era'

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

This operation...

...is following on what we've seen in the Windows world, and it's using the PICNIC* virus...

*Problem In Chair Not In Computer

There are some who, whatever OS they're using, will be as promiscuous (software wise) as a nympho at a Satyrs' convention...

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Greeks BEST in WORLD – at, er, breaking their mobile phones

Ted Treen
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Meh

Incomplete data...

We aren't told what percentage of phones (by brand & model) are insured.

There are many people who have an expensive phone, but because of the hugely expensive 'Airtime Provider' insurance, simply don't bother.

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RUMPY PUMPY: Bone says humans BONED Neanderthals 50,000 years B.C.

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Re: "Worst one-night stand EVER"

@Ledswinger

"I wonder if there were negative behavioural traits that are legacies of our 'minority ancestor'"

Of course:- How else d'you account for John Prescott or Gordon Brown?

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Ted Treen
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Megaphone

Is that you, Boris?

@ AC of around 4 hrs ago...

"...Damn those beer goggles... I was out the door so quick that when she woke up she probably thought she'd been dreaming..."

I didn't realise London's Mayor haunted El Reg...

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APPLE support doc CONFIRMS 'ORGANIZED NETWORK ATTACKS'

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Re: How do you say?

Thumbs down for a schoolboy pun, FFS???

Why are the PC Brigade as dour and humourless as latter-day Pilgrims?

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Ted Treen
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Joke

Re: How do you say?

You don't: you say "There must be a chink in my armour"...

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Computer misuse: Brits could face LIFE IN PRISON for serious hacking offences

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

Re: Mightier than the sword

And "...the plan has been attacked for lacking legal certainty..." really means "The bill has been deliberately left vague so it means whatever we want it to mean when we come to use it".

Plus ça change...

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Post-PC era? PAH! Apple says Macs OUTSOLD iPads in Q4

Ted Treen
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Just askin'

Is Jasper off with stress, lying down in a darkened room?

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Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO

Ted Treen
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WTF?

I'm baffled...

Despite my happiness with my MacPro, iPhone and my iPad, this whole issue puzzles me.

"...register a card and then wave their iPhone 6 in front of a special near-field communication sensor and put their fingers over the mobe's fingerprint sensor..."

This is an improvement on putting card in machine and entering PIN when asked?

How?

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Routine WHAT NOW? Bank of England’s CHAPS payment system goes TITSUP

Ted Treen
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Childcatcher

Re: my money would be on:

It wouldn't be on them for long...

They could smell a halfpenny at 25 miles against a force 12 gale.

And they'd be there in a flash to slurp it up...

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Flash daddy SanDisk: Revenues up, but Wall St unimpressed

Ted Treen
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Thumb Up

Re: Analysis by Fantasy

Amen to that:- in spades!

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Martha Lane Fox: YEUCH! The Internet is MADE by MEN?!?

Ted Treen
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Alert

That explains it...

It's not her fault:- springing from the British aristocracy she's bound to be a congenital idiot...

All those centuries of inbreeding, don'cha know, old chap

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Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function

Ted Treen
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Devil

Oh dear...

Am I alone in fearing that that wretched paperclip has been exposed to radioactivity or something**, and has undergone metamorphosis from an irritating add-on to a fully-blown app?

It will end in tears:- we're all doomed!

**You know - just like Spiderman, the Ninja Turtles, the Hulk etc., etc.

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Here's your chance to buy an ancient, working APPLE ONE

Ted Treen
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Terminator

Re: "So what can an original Mac do that the new ones can't?"

"C'mon Jasper. If you're gonna hate, at least be factually correct about it."

Now that would be something new, original and innovative.

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

Ted Treen
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Joke

Of course not...

"...Women comprise 49 per cent of the UK’s workforce, but make up just 17 per cent of IT professionals..."

Of course - women can't...

1) Wear the same T-shirt all week,

2) Live almost totally on pizza,

3) Grow a wispy beard**

4) Move into & take over their Mom's basement...

**OK, some women can, but not the majority.

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SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION

Ted Treen
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Hmmm...

"...a 22-month mission doing nobody knows what ..."

and "nobody" could include the USAF, if their track record is examined...

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Mobile coverage on trains really is pants

Ted Treen
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Unhappy

Correct, John...

"...you're in a big metal tube which isn't particularly condusive to good radio signals..."

And most of these big metal tubes were designed quite some time ago (when today's mobile comms would, if considered at all, have been viewed as sci-fi). They have great wiring looms running overhead; to one side; to the other side; in fact almost anywhere where they could be tucked away out of sight.

That makes the radio reception - especially at mobile frequencies - even more iffy.

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EVIL patent TROLLS poised to attack OpenStack, says Linux protection squad

Ted Treen
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Devil

EVIL patent trolls...

Surely that's tautology?

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Apple bats away yet another WiLAN patent sueball

Ted Treen
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Boffin

Patent licensing firm WiLAN???

Patent licensing firm??

Bollocks.

They're patent trolls.

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Ingredient found in TASTY BEER is GOOD for your BRAIN

Ted Treen
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Pint

Amazing...

An interesting piece, interestingly yet humourously written and one I really enjoyed reading.

Are you really Jasper?

Whoever you are, have a pint! (Only approx. 3,999.5 litres to go for your RDA)

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Apple is GOLDBRICKING IT: BEHOLD the iPad Glister-Slab

Ted Treen
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No surprise...

"...New fondler set to come in Midas form, whisper sources..."

Jasper's hearing voices now.

Inevitable.

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US Attorney Gen latest to roast Apple, Google mobe encryption

Ted Treen
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Correction...

"I should lose more of my civil liberties "

There are precious few left which haven't been encroached upon, all in the name of "Preserving our freedom".

And the powers-that-be still don't understand irony...

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Beijing says YES, GIVE US the iPHONE 6 even if it spies for the NSA

Ted Treen
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Holmes

Re: When you ask a question in the head or subhead....

Err, not if you're Jasper, and you're after an anti-Apple trollfest of schadenfreude.

You let neither accuracy nor journalism rear their ugly little heads...

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TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

Ted Treen
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Trollface

HeHeHe!

Bet Jasper thought all his Christmases had come all together...

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Spies, avert eyes! Tim Berners-Lee demands a UK digital bill of rights

Ted Treen
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Big Brother

@Vimes

"...what hope is there for any of us?.."

None - I had hoped that as they were so pig-ignorant about IT that they would consider it inconsequential, but that was before they started to spout about "Terrorists" & "Think of the chillun", so I'm afraid I must answer your question with "Probably none".

Unless of course, we happen upon a latter-day Wat Tyler...

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