* Posts by WonkoTheSane

648 posts • joined 17 Jul 2008

Page:

ExoMars works! 2 Mbit/s link established and camera snapping

WonkoTheSane
Alien

Re: Those bits that are following it

After the planned course correction, the probe will be heading in a different direction, so the debris becomes completely irrelevant.

(until the debris ploughs into an approaching starship, starting an interstellar war for which we are allegedly unprepared)

4
0

Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

WonkoTheSane
Headmaster

Re: Excellent

As I understand it, the bet was with Harlan Ellison, not Sir Arthur C Clarke.

(But I agree with pitting this judge against any organisation that preys upon "The weak of mind and fat of wallet")

58
0

Would you let cops give your phone a textalyzer scan after a road crash?

WonkoTheSane

Sure Officer, you can scan my phone.

Just let me get it out of the boot.

(When driving, my phone is in a pocket of my work bag, in the boot of the car.)

5
0

Inside Nvidia's Pascal-powered Tesla P100: What's the big deal?

WonkoTheSane

Re: Charles 9

IF there is an actual Pascal-chipped consumer GPU coming, I think the reveal won't be until E3, in June.

0
0

Commentard April Fool decries Blighty's dodecaquid

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Didn't fool me!

Luckily, I'd already seen the story on the BBC's "Ten things that look like April Fools, but aren't" page that day.

2
0

Elon Musk takes wraps off planet-saving Model 3 vapourmobile

WonkoTheSane
Unhappy

Re: Bizarre

GM have stated they do not intend to bring the Bolt to Europe.

0
0

'Planet nine' theory boosted by Kuiper Belt Object with odd orbit

WonkoTheSane
Alien

Planet Ten?

Beware Red Lectroids!

6
0

William Hague: Brussels attacks mean we must destroy crypto ASAP

WonkoTheSane
Holmes

"To sum up; the guy's a fucking idiot."

He's a politician. It's in the job requirements!

9
1
WonkoTheSane
Big Brother

Dear Mr Hague

<insert 20minute non-stop tirade of expletives here> and the horse you and your "honourable" colleagues rode in on!

11
1

Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Re: machine brought in in a garbage bag

Nope, the top of the PC was covered in little towels!

5
0

Google reveals rapid cloud expansion

WonkoTheSane

I know a LOT of Australian "Star Citizen" gamers are hoping for an "Oceania" region to be on that list.

The game runs on Google's Cloud, and their current nearest DC is Singapore, which does NOT make for good latency.

0
0

Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

WonkoTheSane

Poll site fall down, go boom

Silly wins again!

How about RRS Michael Palin, or RRS Jeremy Clarkson. Both have links to that part of the world.

0
0

UK Snoopers' Charter crashes through critics into the next level

WonkoTheSane
Big Brother

You forgot one

Parliament

Orders

Legal

Investigation

Concerning

Electronic

Surveillance

Total

Animosity

Towards

Everyone

*Hint - Read downwards!

27
1

UK draft super-spy law 'not fit for purpose,' say 100s of senior lawyers

WonkoTheSane
Headmaster

"Senior lawyers"?

If they're serious, they should offer to defend ANYONE charged under this law "pro bono" (for free)!

1
2

Hi-def ExoMars launch vid lacks volcanic lair vibe

WonkoTheSane
Mushroom

Sadly, there is no longer "still time". We lost Sir Ken last Thursday.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35780260

'Splody icon, because that's how his Bond sets often ended up.

0
0

Labour will create FUD and then abstain on UK Snoopers' Charter vote

WonkoTheSane
Gimp

Abstention DOESN'T work!

Not voting is NOT voting NO!

These gimps are all as bad as each other. Pic of typical MP off-duty ---->

10
0

Google emits Android N developer preview early to smoke out bugs

WonkoTheSane
Facepalm

No love for 5 & 7?

Not happy.

1
0

Raspberry Pi celebrates fourth birthday with fruity version 3

WonkoTheSane

Re: Interface with an Arduino

"For that you first need to specify the speed of an unladen Celery - and no African/European shenanigans please..."

Oldest known reference to celery is from Tutankhamen's tomb, so definitely African.

4
0

Phorm suspends its shares from trading amid funding scrabble

WonkoTheSane
Thumb Up

GOOD!

See title

6
0

Gosh, what a huge shock: Ofcom shies away from BT Openreach split, calls for reform

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

OFGUM you mean?

2
0

Yelp minimum wage row shines spotlight on … broke, fired employee

WonkoTheSane
Facepalm

At least Murica still has call centres!

Most of the UK's are now in India!

2
1

Google to snatch control of Android updates from mobe makers – analyst

WonkoTheSane
Linux

Re: Great

"Where's linux on the fondleslab when you need it?"

Wait a month:-

http://www.omgubuntu.co.uk/2016/02/bq-m10-ubuntu-tablet-everything-you-need-to-know

Unless you meant phones, in which case right here, right now!

https://store.bq.com/gl/smartphones

Note the phones at each end are running Ubuntu

0
0

Microsoft Office 365: You don't need 27 floppies, but there is desktop friction

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Just plain NO!

LibreOffice FTW

23
13

Norks stabilise non-threatening space speck ... for about five minutes

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Transmissions?

It's kinda hard to make a concrete block transmit anything!

3
0

When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

WonkoTheSane
Holmes

What are the odds?

In the first example, what are the odds that the ex-programmer who called in was the one who wrote that comment in the first place, back when the world was young?

26
0

Uni of Manchester IT director resigns after chopping 68 people

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Re: his work there is done

"It's not what you know, it's who you know"

Actually, it's what you know ABOUT who you know!

7
0

UK taxpayers should foot £2bn or more to adopt Snoopers' Charter, says Inquiry

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Re: use existing budgets !

I disagree. Funding should come directly from MP's paychecks, with no compensating raise!

10
0

UK Home Sec wants Minority Report-style policing – using your slurped data

WonkoTheSane
Big Brother

Re: Meanwhile... "Hampshire police want ‘geeks’ to volunteer for cyber crime fight "

1: Volunteer for this

2: Finger May for ALL crimes possible

3: ???

4: PROFIT for ALL!

9
1

Police Scotland will have direct access to disabled parking badge database

WonkoTheSane
Mushroom

Happens everywhere...

I once got an earful at the local supermarket because I complained to a builder who had parked his van across TWO disabled bays near the door to the shop.

This was WHILE I was pushing my wheelchair-bound mother to the far end of the carpark where I'd had to park, even though we HAD a valid blue badge!

3
0

Adblock Plus blocked from attending ad industry talkfest

WonkoTheSane
Thumb Up

Adblock's next step?

Kill off its "Acceptable Ads" scheme and block ALL of the unwanted bandwidth-munching rubbish!

7
7

Microsoft herds biz users to Windows 10 by denying support for Win 7 and 8 on new CPUs

WonkoTheSane
Headmaster

Re: The more they push

Obligatory Star Wars quote:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wntX-a3jSY

6
1

Discworld fans stake claim to element 117

WonkoTheSane

Re: A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End

"Octarine, associated with all things eight-ish, but the petitioners decided to go with 117 instead of 118 ?"

Because 117 is a halogen, and therefore can end with "ine" instead of "ium"

3
0

Hacked OPM won't cough up documents on mega-breach – claim

WonkoTheSane
Alien

Reverse Hack?

I still think this may not have been to steal the records of 21m people with security clearance.

It may have been to ADD a couple dozen clearances for another power's embedded agents.

1
0

ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

WonkoTheSane
Holmes

Re: Depressing.

"Are all UK home secretaries unpleasant people before they take up the role, or do they suddenly become nasty on assuming office?"

Yes.

26
0

Watch out, er, 'oven cleaners': ICO plans nuisance call crackdown in 2016

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Protip

Screen all your incoming calls through an answering machine which has the outgoing message starting with that 3-tone chime that you get when dialling an unavailable number.

This tone is what tells the robodialler these scum use that the number is not in service, and wipes it from it's database.

12
0

The ball's in your court, Bezos: Falcon 9 lands after launching satellites

WonkoTheSane
Joke

EPIC achievement!

Just wait till he adds this mode to Teslas!

6
1

Brit 'naut Tim Peake tucks into space bacon sarnie

WonkoTheSane

Re: Send Heston up there

Heston WAS hired to come up with recipes for Tim, and his show will air on C4 in the spring

0
0

One-armed bandit steals four hours of engineer's busy day

WonkoTheSane
FAIL

Re: Fruit Machines

Turn in your nerd card. He was quoting this:- http://www.montypython.net/scripts/piranha.php

5
10

Tech firms fight anti-encryption demands after Paris murders

WonkoTheSane
Big Brother

Gubmint ignorance AGAIN!

This week's "Government-enforced backdoor" will become next week's "Haxxor's catflap".

All it needs is for an official to leave their encryption key on the bus, AGAIN!

10
0

Aircraft laser strikes hit new record with 20 incidents in one night

WonkoTheSane

Just wait.

Some idiot will try this on a fighter plane armed with laser guided bombs.

File under Darwin Award.

(Yes, I know that's not how laser guided bombs really work, but it sounded nice inside my head)

9
0

Google roasts critical twin Android bugs in new Marshmallow OS

WonkoTheSane

Still waiting for Marshmallow

Got it on my Nexus 5 phone, but still waiting for Nexus 7 2013 tablet.

0
0

Playmobil cops broadside for 'racist' pirate slave

WonkoTheSane
Headmaster

Re: Common Lego !!

Pretty sure Playmobil is not owned by LEGO.

20
0

Sky 'fesses up to broken fibre cables as cause of outage woes

WonkoTheSane

Sky now reporting all is well once more

" Problems with Sky Broadband and Talk services in Cheshire | 29 September 2015

If you live in the following areas of Cheshire and you have Sky Broadband, Sky Talk or Sky Fibre Broadband in your home, we know you've been having problems getting online and with making calls since yesterday evening.

Culcheth, Frodsham, Hale, Helsby, Irlam, Manley, Padgate, Penketh, Runcorn, Warrington, Westwood and Widnes.

Latest news: we're pleased to report the problem has now been resolved. Broadband services in the above areas are now up and running again.

We're sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Last updated: 12.29pm "

0
0

SIX MILLION fingerprints of US govt workers nicked in cyber-heist

WonkoTheSane
Black Helicopters

Have they compared the live data to the backup

There may be MORE records on the system than OPM think they had.

Instead of STEALING the data, $FOREIGNPOWER may have ADDED their own spies records to the clearance database for later espionage.

(El Reg needs a tinfoil hattery icon!)

1
0

Wileyfox Swift: Brit startup budget 'droid is the mutt's nuts

WonkoTheSane

Re: Looks pretty impressive

I read elsewhere that the more expensive "Storm" model WILL take a 128GB MicroSD.

1
0

Patching a fragmented, Stagefrightened Android isn't easy

WonkoTheSane

Re: Android 5.1.1 arrived today

Definitely got a patch, but it actually WASN'T a version bump (my error).

It WAS a Stagefright fix though, being the first of the new monthly security updates:-

http://officialandroid.blogspot.ca/2015/08/an-update-to-nexus-devices.html

0
0
WonkoTheSane
Thumb Up

Android 5.1.1 arrived today

This version closes the "Stagefright" vulnerability, and arrived on both my Nexus 5 & 7 last night.

1
2

Apple and Google are KILLING KIDS with encryption, whine lawyers

WonkoTheSane
Facepalm

Re: Tough titty, this is the price we have to pay

Your "skeleton key" WILL be left on the bus at the first opportunity!

9
0

Sun? In Blighty? Nah, just build that rooftop data centre, it’ll be fine

WonkoTheSane
Facepalm

I blame the architect

The company I currently work for had the factory extended a few years back, with a nice shiny new server room specced out. (A windowless concrete box)

I got sent in to wire up a couple of phone lines as we started moving staff into the new block.

While doing this work, I realised that the builders had installed nothing more technical than a bathroom extractor fan, as the plans called for.

I immediately pointed out to my superiors how much this would likely cost in cooked servers, and suggested they got the builders back to tie it into the AC of the new lab next door.

2
0

Tired tablets don't tickle the imagination, so sales fall again

WonkoTheSane
Trollface

Re: Marketers can't think the unthinkable

Looks like I have a fan. One person votes EVERY post I make down.

0
0

Page:

Forums