* Posts by SRS

77 posts • joined 12 Jul 2008

Page:

BT Tower to be replaced by 3D printed BT Tower

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

And in further news

BT are planning, for one day only, to release a broadband advert that:

- doesn't have that floppy haired prick in it. At all.

- is wholly truthful about the capabilities of their network.

- gives an excerpt of the standard conversation you will have with their call centre.

- is brutally honest about just how little 'our best ever wifi signal' actually means.

- explains that when they write the phrase 'up to', they mean 'nowhere near'.

- explains that any box with wires coming out of it, regardless of actual function, will perform better than the home hub.

- will not mention BT sport at all. Or twist the English language with phrases like '18 top picks exclusively live matches only on BT sport free* with BT broadband today and last week only'

(* line rental, broadband, fair usage, phone, hub delivery and BT sport charges may apply)

3
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ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

SRS

Correction.

s/ISPs/BT/g

0
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Second LulzSec member pleads guilty to Sony hack

SRS

Re: also...

Yes, because the 'food' will kill you.

1
0

Lumia sales fail to set world alight

SRS
Unhappy

It's not a bad looking phone...

...and Windows 7 Phone has some interesting and different approaches, but Nokia's problem is that right now, people looking to buy this sort of phone have already made their Q4/Holiday decision: wait for next year's wave of new models, buy one of the many fine Android phones, or buy an iPhone.

That decision carries at least six months of purchasing inertia, maybe more in this economic climate, so Nokia has to really come up with something compelling to have any hope of returning to relevancy, and the Lumia, nice though it is, doesn't cut it.

Maybe their next phone will.

5
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Ten... inkjet photo printers

SRS

If you own an Apple don't buy the Epson Stylus Photo PX720WD

...the supplied software is absolutely terrible. Even HP software is better.

1
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HP UK PC team baying for rivals' blood

SRS
WTF?

Windows 8? WTF?

Why don't they put WebOS on their next fondleslab?

It has the triple benefits of actually existing in a usable form right now, being already owned by HP and being liked by consumers.

Unlike Windows 8.

1
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iTunes beta, Vodafone flag up iPhone 4S

SRS
Holmes

Here's how it will work

Three models:

iPhone 4S - [NEW!] - 8Gb version of iPhone 4, with shiny plastic back instead of glass. May not be iOS5 capable.

iPhone 4 - will stay unchanged in 16 and 32Gb versions. iOS5 capable with some missing functionality.

iPhone 5 - [NEW!] - Larger screen (same res though), tapered edges (a little like iPad 2), metal back, re-worked antennae, 32Gb and 64Gb capacity; iOS 5 capable.

They will all make and receive phone calls.

0
0

HP dumps Apotheker for Whitman

SRS
Facepalm

Is this the same Meg Whitman who made the inspired decision...

...to try and graft Skype onto the twitching flabby rump of eBay?

As a non-shareholder and non-owner of anything by HP, I look forward to the next episode of corporate idiocy on display.

13
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Vogel's RingO iPad mounting system

SRS
Thumb Up

...and you could call it iCatBolt

Thank-you.

0
0

Oracle coughs up Java 7 release candidate

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

A bad workman blames his tools...

...but a bad coder blames everyone else.

All I ask is they fix java.util.{Date,Calendar}, ditch checked exceptions, and make generic types true first-class members of the type hierarchy.

2
0

Nissan car secretly shares driver data with websites

SRS
Facepalm

Not that big a deal

Hardly anyone will buy the car and for those very few sad folk who do, the 100 metre range before the car needs a full 16 hour deep recharge means that all these RSS sites will get is the rough positions of the three Nissan garages that will stock this woeful vehicle.

15
10

RIM confirms 'limited' BlackBerry Playbook recall

SRS
Happy

What is limited?

...the Playbook, the recall or both?

2
0

'Upgraded' Apple iMacs lock out hard drive replacement

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

Horrified.

Surely as a true Apple devotee, you'll always have the latest offerings, and love them all; nothing you own should ever get old enough to need (and I can hardly bring myself to type these words)... internally upgrading...

1
2

HP's beloved 12c calculator turns 30

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

HP12c - superb

Amazing that HP has not only kept this brilliant calculator going, but that the build quality is still pretty good; my one is fairly new and the keys have an excellent feel that you don't get with a Casio, TI, or for that matter, any other HP calculator either.

Let's hope HP also bring back the HP16c too.

@atragon - thanks for http://www.techpoweredmath.com - excellent site, now safely in my geek folder.

0
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Amazon tablet, touchscreen Kindle on course for H2, say moles

SRS

"The international version of the Kindle DX has been out for over a year". Well...

...yes, but you have to order it direct from the US, it defaults to the US amazon.com Kindle store and it doesn't come with a UK plug, just a US one.

So Amazon will ship the DX internationally, but won't sell you a country-specific version. Unlike the Kindle 3.

Another thing: The DX still doesn't have WiFi - an irritating omission once it was added to the Kindle 3.

It is definitely being left to wither away by Amazon.

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SRS

Perhaps this explains why the DX has been left to languish...

This all might explain why the Kindle DX has been left to languish - running the outdated v2 software and getting no real attention, and still no international release, whilst the Kindle 3 gets fairly regular updates.

Amazon are being too slow here; It will be disappointing if they just release another me-too cheap Android tablet with a standard LCD panel - e-ink is still the clearest screen technology for reading books by far.

I reckon there's still a healthy market for a DX-sized reader, providing it's priced properly.

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Microsoft maps WinPhone 7 path for iPhone coders

SRS

LOL #2

"One of the biggest reasons developers aren't picking Windows Phone 7 is..." that consumers aren't either.

7
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Arcam FMJ BDP100 Blu-ray Disc player

SRS
Alert

Slow loading...

"The remastered Goldfinger Blu-ray from Fox Home Entertainment took a lengthy one minute 14 seconds to bring up the 007 logo" - then I saw the 'Java powered' logo on the rear panel.

All became clear.

2
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Did PlayStation Network hackers plan supercomputer botnet?

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

Sony 'incompetence' undermines arrogance...

It's the usual corporate idiot-think: decreased spending on IT must lead to increased profit.

1
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iPhones secretly track 'scary amount' of your movements

SRS

Just don't go anywhere with your phone

Just don't go anywhere with your phone. Not that big a deal.

1
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Stop sexing up IT and give Civil Servants Macs, says gov tech boss

SRS
Boffin

I have a mac at home and it's really good.

I have a mac at home and it's really good. That's all I wanted to say.

0
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Nokia C1-01 budget voicephone

SRS
WTF?

What the hell is this?

It looks like phones used to look, only worse.

0
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iPhone 5 rumors: bigger, smaller, cloudy, keyboard-equipped

SRS
Go

The latest iPhone - picture

Here's what it will look like - slightly bigger than the previous model, with a different display aspect ratio, pixel density and colour palette.

http://retrothing.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/04/myz88.jpg

5
2

Oracle revisits Sparc T processor roadmap

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

10x Java Ops per second

It doesn't look good for Java does it? And, given this is an Oracle chart, the 10x could be 'optimistic'.

But if you really need that 10x improvement, you probably don't have the time to re-architect your system, so you'll just pay what Oracle demands. Or move hardware.

0
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Microsoft has shifted 1.5 million Windows phones

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

Typo

It actually meant to read "Microsoft has shafted 1.5 million Windows phones" but the cut and paste wasn't working properly.

1
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Orange to ship 0.5m touch-pay phones next year

SRS
Happy

A 0.5m phone? That won't fit in my pocket...

...but there should be space for a good large screen at least.

0
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iPad to lose weight, gain eye

SRS
Happy

There are 4 variables to replace here...

${Gadget}

${OtherGadet}

${Gadet}

${OtherGadget}

I think you could've used two.

1
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Google defends native code Chrome play

SRS
Stop

If it's unchecked native code...

There will never be zero opportunity for a malicious piece of code to simply issue a system call. How will Chrome code verify the 'correctness' of every request? How could it? And if the checking code does indeed run in the same process, someone will easily find a way to manipulate it.

0
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Google delays Chrome OS, punts brandless beta netbook

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

Finally there is a viable third choice for an operating system

Yes. Android.

0
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Google speeds Chrome JavaScript engine with 'Crankshaft'

SRS
Welcome

4 tenths of a second over the entire run?

Yes; that's 100x faster.

0
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The year's best... HD TVs

SRS
Headmaster

Surprised to see no B&O here

I'd assumed they'd be at number 1 in your list.

Tried viewing the article with Firefox, Chrome and Safari in case of compatibility problems with your site, but still no B&O. Strange.

0
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Salesforce's Benioff: 'Ellison flunks vision test'

SRS
Thumb Up

Ellison flunks vision test

...but passes the 'runs wildly successful very wealthy company' test quite well. I wonder what he's doing wrong?

1
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Apache loses Java showdown vote to Oracle

SRS
Stop

Java isn't dead yet

Regardless of the amount of foot stamping from Apache, Java isn't going to die.

Java is a lousy client-side language - always has been - but that gap is admirably filled by C# for fat clients, and filled by any number of Ajax-based toolkits for web front ends. But on the server-side, there's just too much code out there. Companies across all sectors, who generally use Java for all new server-side development, are probably taking comfort that Java is now owned by a single company with a lot of cash and a future. Neither of which could be said about Sun. If Oracle truly have destroyed the reputation that Sun had, then surely that's good news for Java: Sun was a tired, directionless, lost company. It had its chance, it blew it.

What will change is this: Java will no longer be seen as fashionable.

All this will truly mean is that the vast hoards of parasitic bloggers, who claim to be thoroughly on the side of open source, yet somehow find little time to actually deliver anything of any worth, who recycle each others sad, tired views, never having the imagination or intelligence to add anything new, who've spent the last few years rehashing the same old dull arguments - these people will simply have to go off and find something else to drone on about. Good riddance. No-one cares; you're not wanted here in the real world.

The rest of us with jobs where we have to produce something that works will just carry on using Java (and C++ and C# and Python and perl and VB... and...) until something truly better comes along.

6
2

Diary of a Not-spot: One man's heroic struggle for broadband

SRS
IT Angle

Why not ask Claire to bring up the sites you want...

...and she can take a photo of them for you, and, once the SD card is full, you can pick it up from her house, and drop off a new empty SD card.

That could work.

3
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Oracle erects mystery Sparc SuperCluster

SRS
Joke

The funny thing...

...is that to get the speed, the super cluster actually runs Sybase, via a copy that Oracle 'acquired' from SAP as part of their recent low key technology sharing programme.

1
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Project delivery for modern PMs

SRS
Go

Project Managers - Learn the technology...

...and stop hiding behind powerpoint BS. Then your team will respect you and your projects will start delivering.

0
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iOS 4.2: An 'ace' for iPad, a 'meh' for iPhone

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

The old product used old magic...

...which is now out of date, and so no longer magical. The new product uses new magic. Ok?

2
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SRS
WTF?

Only for iPhone 4

Alas, only the iPhone 4 gets the new tones.

0
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Steve Jobs no longer Eggman as Beatles hits iTunes

SRS
Megaphone

Congratulations!

Congratulations to two sets of very rich people with rampant egos, for successfully managing to get together without too many lawyers and agree on how to make even more money for themselves without producing anything new at all.

Well done, rich people! And well done to all who publicised this tremendous event.

1
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Oracle cooks up free and premium JDKs

SRS
Linux

What will your business use instead?

@Jay Jaffa - what will your business use instead? Not easy to replace a DBMS, not easy to replace Java.

0
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Twitter slips ads into user tweet streams

SRS
FAIL

Why don't they put all the adverts into a single "twat stream"?

Oh yes - because no-one would look at it - people hate adverts.

I imagine the Firefox, Safari and Chrome ad-blockers are being updated even as I type.

1
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SAP legal u-turn delivers new HP boss for Monday start

SRS
Flame

Just to summarise...

Is this about one 'egotistical sociopath' from company $X accusing another 'egotistical sociopath' from company $Y of lying about stealing products whilst hiring another 'egotistical sociopath' from the company who's hired the second 'egotistical sociopath' who used to work at company $Z?

Set X, Y and Z to the high market cap IT companies of choice.

0
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Apple to buy Sony? Good one!

SRS
WTF?

Sony has nothing Apple needs or wants

Would you buy a company now best known for rootkits?

2
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Microsoft holds Androids hostage in open source wars

SRS
FAIL

Microsoft can do better...?

"Microsoft can do better" - no they can't. That's why they're issuing threats.

0
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Apple threatens Java with death on the Mac

SRS
FAIL

Java is dying anyway

Java is on the way out. It'll soon be just a scripting language that Oracle uses to write its sh1tty installers. Nothing else.

Good riddance. No-one cares.

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17

Foxconn faces leaked report of worker abuse, violence

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

This is what happens when an economy is based around middle men...

We pay enough. But it doesn't go to the right people. To support the vast armies of middle management and consultants we have, the cost of producing actual goods has to tend towards zero.

1
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Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

SRS
Headmaster

So it was the Sun Wot Warmed It?

ha.

2
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Kensington revamps laptop lock

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

My company gets around this by issuing us all ThinkPads

...that are so plasticky and fugly that no-one in their right mind would dream of stealing one.

0
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Microsoft, Adobe merger? Yeah, right

SRS
Jobs Horns

A merger of microsoft + adobe...

...would be like blending dog turd and cat turd together, and pretending it's chocolate milkshake.

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RIM opens its PlayBook – tablets clearly set for dominance

SRS
Welcome

How big?

"Tablets are going to be a lot bigger than everyone realizes" - how big? cow-sized?

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