* Posts by SRS

113 posts • joined 12 Jul 2008

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Whee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

SRS

"If it works it'll go nationwide, says telco's top dog"

Yeah, right. Just like Infinity that I still can't get in my area.

BT, or rather the part of BT that customers deal with, is staffed with sadists, dreamers and idiots. Their call centres are laughably and staggeringly inept, their marketing department is er... somewhat divorced (for want of a better word) from reality, and the remaining good engineers are smothered by so many layers of idiocy it's a miracle they get anything done at all.

This will not work and it will not happen.

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Apple CEO: Fandroids are BINNING Android in favour of IPHONES

SRS

"Only 15 per cent of iPhone 6 customers have upgraded from other iPhones."

If true, Cook should be concerned not jubilant. Parts of Apple's (and everyone else's) game is to push how desirable their new shineys are compared to the older now less shiney things that were themselves once the greatest shineys compared to the previous... and so on.

So the message isn't getting through that well if only 15% of iPhone 6 upgrades are from previous Apple products. That implies to me that although someone may well ditch an Android phone for an Apple phone, they can only do that once and maybe they'll never upgrade again. 15% says that's far more likely than I expected.

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Privacy alert: Outlook for iOS does security STUPIDLY, says dev

SRS

A list of topics we don't want to see in this thread, because they've been done to death and totally discredited:

"If you've got nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear".

"Privacy is so last century, get over it".

"You're not a customer, you're the product".

"It's free, what do you expect".

"Our nation's security hinges on this. If we stop a single terrorist, it'll have been worth it".

"If these large corporations were really untrustworthy, surely they'd have been censured by now".

"Better Microsoft than ${other_company}".

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

SRS

Could I respectfully ask J. R. Hartley to add a suitably pithy closing comment to this thread after he/she opened it so succinctly.

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Bill Gates – I WISH I was like Zuck and spoke Chinese. Yep, I drink poo

SRS

Gates is more concerned that these "super intelligent machines" will be running Linux.

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Horrifying iPhone sales bring Apple $18bn profit A QUARTER

SRS

Date confirmed

A source 'close to the matter' has confirmed, that as promised, the Apple Watch will ship exactly on time around April 347th 2015.

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HMRC fails to plan for £10.4bn contract exit... because it's 'too risky'

SRS
Facepalm

I'm going to 'fail to plan' for next year's tax bill and instead spend the money on holidays and gin. I expect HMRC to be wholly sympathetic.

I'll let you know how I get on, readers.

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FIVE Things (NOT 10: these are REAL) from the WINDOWS 10 event

SRS

@dogged

"Replying to an urgent text" - tell me you're joking. If you really do text and drive, god help anyone near you.

Do you send those urgent tweets - you know, the ones the world is so desperate to read - as well?

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SRS

"So was that paper-clip."

...and so was Bob. This isn't going to end well.

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

SRS

Re: Sad, and not good enough

Completely agree, this is heartbreaking enough to read, I can't imagine what the family is going through. Detective Sergeant Peter Wall does indeed need to pull his finger out, and rapidly - because whilst this isn't murder in the eyes of the law, morally it's as close to it as makes no odds.

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3

LEAKED: Samsung's iPHONE 6 KILLER... the Samsung Galaxy S6

SRS

"I've dropped my S2 from 3 metres onto concrete"

Why?

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SRS

In my dreams, I've seen the iPhone 8...

And let me tell you, it's fantastic! Everything you'd ever want in a phone and then some. The real kazoo! For some reason by the end of the dream it had turned into a bouncing blue rabbit that kept hassling me for carrot soup, and I woke up screaming, naked, on a train going to Slough, but before that part and the somewhat embarrassing court appearance, the iPhone 8 completely trounced whatever it is that Samsung may or may not release at some point whenever.

(c) 2015 BGR.com

3
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Is Windows RT not invited to the Windows 10 upgrade party?

SRS

My theory, if the Internet is interested

My theory is that the fine folk at Microsoft who decide on strategy and product delivery are so very clever that what they do and the decisions they make are completely beyond the ability of most of us to comprehend. Same as Yahoo! and HP really.

Windows RT is a case in point: most comments I've read on this forum have stated how Microsoft botched the whole RT/Arm thing right from the start and are now flogging a dead horse long after the whip has broken and the horse decomposed.

But maybe Microsoft are actually doing something really, really clever. I just don't understand what.

0
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Adobe finds, patches ANOTHER exploited Flash 0day

SRS
FAIL

Flash seems like the most bug-ridden and damaged piece of software still in use today.

If we all stopped allowing it on our machines, what would we really miss out on? Anything more than Ads and cat videos?

iPads and iPhones have got along just fine without Flash for years now.

Maybe it's time for a mass uninstall - get Adobe off our machines today!

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Free Windows 10 could mean the END for Microsoft and the PC biz

SRS

Careful with that axe, Nadella!

...he's already lost a finger. Nice to see him chopping digits instead of developers though.

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Tat bazaar eBay confirms: THOUSANDS of workers will be AXED

SRS

eBay should just put the to-be-sacked workers up for auction

eBay gets free advertising, the soon-to-be-sacked employees get their CVs out to a wide audience, and it's a transparent market for both employers and employees. More useful than LinkedIn anyway. What's not to like?

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Windows 10: The Microsoft rule-o-three holds, THIS time it's looking DECENT

SRS

Re: Read the whole thing...

I'm already completely Windows-free and happy to remain so. But it does seem like Microsoft is making a very concerted effort to get to where OS X was two years ago.

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MYSTERY RADIO SIGNAL picked up from BEYOND our GALAXY

SRS

Ah, the final feedback on the Reg redesign is now incoming. I'm sure it'll all be positive, just like it was here on Earth.

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SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS that 2014 was record HOTTEST year? NO

SRS

So is climate change or global warming or whatever the hell it's now called...

...actually happening or not?

Can anyone actually answer that question with a degree of certainty? Because if not there's a fuck of a lot of financially costly bs been spouted.

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1

Firefox 35 stamps out critical bugs

SRS

Loved the picture of the fox in the article

It really helped me understand and appreciate all the words. But to completely eliminate reader confusion, can you also add a picture of a fire as well?

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CIOs: What jobs do you have to fill before you can get on with yours?

SRS

A plea to any CIOs reading this...

Please, please learn something about IT. It wasn't taught on your MBA, but it does matter and it is used in your company.

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Scary code of the week: Valve Steam CLEANS Linux PCs (if you're not careful)

SRS

If Valve is like every other large company out there...

Then there will be tiers and tiers of management, all 'adding value', a bloated and useless HR department that somehow just keeps on hiring regardless of the bottom line, an infinitely large Corporate Communications team issuing endless trite and patronising motivational messages, and about 3 developers actually doing the work on the product. Things like this are bound to happen. The miracle is that they don't happen more often.

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Microsoft & Paypal link hands, turn round and slap Apple Pay

SRS

Good news: now I can put all my distrust into one unified platform.

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Microsoft Azure was most FAIL-FILLED cloud of 2014

SRS

A downtime of 42.94 hours

That's Microsoft's downtime and doesn't include the overhead that customers would suffer getting their systems recovered and the associated business outages. On average, Microsoft's cloud infrastructure was down some time in roughly 1 day of every 3 last year. That's far worse.

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You'll get sick of that iPad. And guess who'll be waiting? Big daddy Linux...

SRS

iOS and OS X

As a long-time Apple user(/fanboi), I don't think it's quite fair to say that iOS (or OS X for that matter) have 'lost their way' entirely, but it is true to say that every Apple release now brings a slew of irritating user experience bugs and these bugs just don't seem to get fixed any more. Apple does need to try harder here.

I'm just pleased we've got past the Scott Forstall era of tacky, excessive and unwanted skeuomorphism (a calendar application with fake stitching, ugh! What were they thinking...) During the Forstall years, Windows Phone looked very modern. Now - not so much.

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Sony hack was good news for INSURERS and INVESTORS

SRS

It was good news for me too...

...because I don't like Sony at all, ever since they decided it was acceptable that their CDs should be shipped with rootkits.

I think Sony truly believes that their customers can be divided into three camps: known criminals, unknown criminals and idiots not smart enough to be criminals.

So I've had a jolly good laugh at Sony's expense, and I feel much better now.

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Demon Internet goes TITSUP: Outage borks ancient ISP

SRS

Ah that's why I couldn't get onto CIX today

I just assumed my dial up modem had finally died.

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What will happen to the oil price? Look to the PC for clues

SRS

Well written and interesting article as ever, but I'm more impressed you sent a photographer all the way to Stevenage to get the photo of the garage.

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BlackBerry Enterprise chief: Yes, we did leave users behind

SRS

Re: @SRS They're still in deep trouble

Despite the tone of my post, I don't actually want Blackberry to fail. Even though they've made so, so many dumb decisions.

But, whilst I'm glad you're looking forward to getting your Blackberry Passport, I don't think you and those with your tastes exist in sufficient numbers to keep Blackberry going. And for the rest of us, there's nothing compelling about their current lineup at all.

How you would explain to an iPhone 6 user (without resulting to insults) why they should ditch their iPhone and get a Blackberry? You might answer, "why should I bother?" - but If Blackberry won't make stellar phones, they sure as hell need some evangelists.

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SRS

They're still in deep trouble

Blackberry can give as much bullish talk about their assets, their expertise and their infrastructure as they like: but nobody wants their phones any more. And if you've got no useful endpoints to a network, why have the network? Put any Blackberry device next to pretty much any other phone and the gap is wide. Too little, too late.

Pretty much every individual and company is moving away from Blackberry devices to Windows phones, iPhones, Android. This is the biggest problem that Blackberry faces and I really don't see how they'll get over it.

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OMG, that CLOUD has a TV in it! Sony goes Over The Top in telly wars

SRS

"...demonstrates what our company is capable of when we embrace disruption..."

I think the recent waves of hackery against Sony have demonstrated that perfectly well.

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No, the Linux leap second bug WON'T crash the web

SRS

The Independent tells me all I need to know...

Written in the style of a hysterical 12 year old and with the level of understanding of a sleepy puppy, the Independent has it covered:

"But last time it happened, in 2012, it took down much of the internet. Reddit, Foursquare, Yelp and LinkedIn all reported problems, and so did the Linux operating system and programmes (sic) using Java."

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/leap-second-computer-chaos-feared-as-scientists-let-world-catch-up-with-clocks-9961881.html

I love it that the reporter doesn't bother to find out when in 2012 this happened, and that Reddit, Foursquare, Yelp and LinkedIn are deemed 'much of the internet'. I assume Twitter is the 'rest of it'.

I'm sure we used to have educated journalists once, or am I mistaken?

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Latest NORKS Linux and Android distros leak

SRS

I love the aerial on the tablet

My iPad would be much cooler with an aerial. Apple, take note.

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Elite: Dangerous 'billionaire' gamers are being 'antisocial', moan players

SRS

But it works for me so I don't see the problem

Mind you, I haven't played E:D yet, but I truly believe that having an opinion is more important than having experience.

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Hackers pilfer $5 MEELLION in BTC from Bitstamp

SRS

For another view on Bitcoin and all associated with it...

Try here (registration needed): http://ftalphaville.ft.com/2015/01/05/2079012/who-needs-caveat-emptor-when-youve-got-bitcoin/

The author of the piece is trying to make a name for herself as the anti-champion of Bitcoin and has written many, many, many articles on the subject. I think a book is in the offing. She's greatly loving Bitstamp's problems.

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TCL confirms plans to 'bring back' Palm – provided you tell it how

SRS

Palm was what it was in the day because the only way of having decent battery life was through woefully under-powered hardware, and Palm's designers and marketers were smart enough (very smart) to make this a USP.

No point going back there, we all want better and we all accept the daily charge cycle. I still have an Apple Messagepad, and believe me, times really have changed for the better since then.

I have a sad feeling that at the end of all of this we'll end up with another generic Android smartphone, offending no-one, but pleasing no-one either.

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BT Tower to be replaced by 3D printed BT Tower

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

And in further news

BT are planning, for one day only, to release a broadband advert that:

- doesn't have that floppy haired prick in it. At all.

- is wholly truthful about the capabilities of their network.

- gives an excerpt of the standard conversation you will have with their call centre.

- is brutally honest about just how little 'our best ever wifi signal' actually means.

- explains that when they write the phrase 'up to', they mean 'nowhere near'.

- explains that any box with wires coming out of it, regardless of actual function, will perform better than the home hub.

- will not mention BT sport at all. Or twist the English language with phrases like '18 top picks exclusively live matches only on BT sport free* with BT broadband today and last week only'

(* line rental, broadband, fair usage, phone, hub delivery and BT sport charges may apply)

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ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

SRS

Correction.

s/ISPs/BT/g

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Second LulzSec member pleads guilty to Sony hack

SRS

Re: also...

Yes, because the 'food' will kill you.

1
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Lumia sales fail to set world alight

SRS
Unhappy

It's not a bad looking phone...

...and Windows 7 Phone has some interesting and different approaches, but Nokia's problem is that right now, people looking to buy this sort of phone have already made their Q4/Holiday decision: wait for next year's wave of new models, buy one of the many fine Android phones, or buy an iPhone.

That decision carries at least six months of purchasing inertia, maybe more in this economic climate, so Nokia has to really come up with something compelling to have any hope of returning to relevancy, and the Lumia, nice though it is, doesn't cut it.

Maybe their next phone will.

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Ten... inkjet photo printers

SRS

If you own an Apple don't buy the Epson Stylus Photo PX720WD

...the supplied software is absolutely terrible. Even HP software is better.

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HP UK PC team baying for rivals' blood

SRS
WTF?

Windows 8? WTF?

Why don't they put WebOS on their next fondleslab?

It has the triple benefits of actually existing in a usable form right now, being already owned by HP and being liked by consumers.

Unlike Windows 8.

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iTunes beta, Vodafone flag up iPhone 4S

SRS
Holmes

Here's how it will work

Three models:

iPhone 4S - [NEW!] - 8Gb version of iPhone 4, with shiny plastic back instead of glass. May not be iOS5 capable.

iPhone 4 - will stay unchanged in 16 and 32Gb versions. iOS5 capable with some missing functionality.

iPhone 5 - [NEW!] - Larger screen (same res though), tapered edges (a little like iPad 2), metal back, re-worked antennae, 32Gb and 64Gb capacity; iOS 5 capable.

They will all make and receive phone calls.

0
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HP dumps Apotheker for Whitman

SRS
Facepalm

Is this the same Meg Whitman who made the inspired decision...

...to try and graft Skype onto the twitching flabby rump of eBay?

As a non-shareholder and non-owner of anything by HP, I look forward to the next episode of corporate idiocy on display.

13
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Vogel's RingO iPad mounting system

SRS
Thumb Up

...and you could call it iCatBolt

Thank-you.

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Oracle coughs up Java 7 release candidate

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

A bad workman blames his tools...

...but a bad coder blames everyone else.

All I ask is they fix java.util.{Date,Calendar}, ditch checked exceptions, and make generic types true first-class members of the type hierarchy.

2
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Nissan car secretly shares driver data with websites

SRS
Facepalm

Not that big a deal

Hardly anyone will buy the car and for those very few sad folk who do, the 100 metre range before the car needs a full 16 hour deep recharge means that all these RSS sites will get is the rough positions of the three Nissan garages that will stock this woeful vehicle.

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RIM confirms 'limited' BlackBerry Playbook recall

SRS
Happy

What is limited?

...the Playbook, the recall or both?

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'Upgraded' Apple iMacs lock out hard drive replacement

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

Horrified.

Surely as a true Apple devotee, you'll always have the latest offerings, and love them all; nothing you own should ever get old enough to need (and I can hardly bring myself to type these words)... internally upgrading...

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HP's beloved 12c calculator turns 30

SRS
Coffee/keyboard

HP12c - superb

Amazing that HP has not only kept this brilliant calculator going, but that the build quality is still pretty good; my one is fairly new and the keys have an excellent feel that you don't get with a Casio, TI, or for that matter, any other HP calculator either.

Let's hope HP also bring back the HP16c too.

@atragon - thanks for http://www.techpoweredmath.com - excellent site, now safely in my geek folder.

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