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* Posts by simon gardener

40 posts • joined 7 Jul 2008

Show more CANADIAN-MADE PORN, insists Canadian government

simon gardener

I've a Canadian friend who might do well out of this

I've a Canadian friend who might do well out of this. His parents, Mr and Mrs Harder, named him Randy. It wasn't until he started meeting Brits that he knew they had given him a porn name. Apparently randy doesn't have the same meaning over that side of the pond .

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Apple fanbois DENIED: Mac Pro deliveries stalled until April

simon gardener

a,b,c or d

Apple pushes back ship date for Mac Pro to April. Is this because

a) Demand is way higher than expected.

b) Apple are having problems building the units.

c) Apple are having problems with getting sufficient components from suppliers.

d) all of the above.

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Apple RESURRECTS the iPhone 4: report

simon gardener

seems an odd thing to do

Seems an odd thing to do considering how poorly the iPhone 4 performs with iOS 7. I had one, I know. iOS 7 seriously downgraded the iPhone 4 experience. The 4s is perfectly fine on iOS 7. That might make sense but to keep selling a phone that is, frankly, piss-poor at running the current os makes little sense to me.

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Apple plans to waggle iNormous 4½-incher in fanbois' faces

simon gardener

Die "Phablet" Die

Can't we all just agree on Trannyphone and be done with it :)

Same principle as the overlarge glasses used by cross dresser to make their hands appear smaller.

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Light, fast ... and pricey: Toshiba's Portégé Z30 – now THIS is an Ultrabook

simon gardener

The hinges - are they white plastics ?

The hinges - are they white plastics? - the thing looks damn ugly

Yes... I'm a sad, macbook pro using, apple worshipper but please , think of the children !

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Tube be or not tube be: Apple’s CYLINDRICAL Mac Pro is out tomorrow

simon gardener

Re: I thought I'd seen it all...

I don't think you are Apple's target customer. You are bashing a powerhouse of a machine that is also incredibly transportable, allowing people, whose jobs don't confine themselves to one office space, to take that power with them on jobs.

And your alternative is to buy a load of old computers from schools and link them all up into a render farm.

I can't see old Tim Cook and his mates losing much sleep over your opinion.

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simon gardener

Re: Shame

I think you misunderstand the market for this computer. I would be amazed at the price they are if 5% of them were used as desk jewellery. This is aimed at a pro market. And those prices are the base models. The likelihood is the average customer is going to spec their machine way above the minimum. And then use it.

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MPs back call to boycott low-taxed tat from Amazon over Xmas

simon gardener

Re: Do what we want, not what we say

Well said - saved me writing it

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Like iPads? Like stuff called AIR? Here's our REVIEW ROUNDUP-squared

simon gardener

Re: Quote.... It's just an iPad, FFS

A slightly thinner washing machine wouldn't wash as many clothes and thus be a failure

a portable device that sheds a relatively large amount of weight , loses a chunk of size while improving performance sounds like a win to me , no matter the manufacturer

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Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

simon gardener

Re: DAB Bashing - landfill

5 years? - possibly for tvs but many people keep theirs for much longer.

When it comes to radios and stereo equipment I would have thought much longer then 5 years would be the norm. At my parents home most of their radio kit is at least 10 years old, some much older. It works as well as it ever did and they have no intention of replacing working equipment. Rightly so.

Forcing people to replace working equipment at their own expense is ridiculous. The waste would be huge. Imagine it tens of, possibly a 100, million radios being thrown away. All working , all adding to landfill.

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Post-PC era? Post-MAC era! OS X Mavericks 'upgrade' ruins iWorks

simon gardener

A little confusion here - not as bad as it initially seems

Don't panic !

When your mac updates to the new iWork apps, it leaves the previous versions in place. So, they're not gone and if you found them useful a few days ago then nothings changed, they are just as useful and fully functioned as they were.

What has just happened? Well it looks like Apple has stripped back functionality so that the iOS, mac and the web versions of the iWork apps are 100% compatible.

I'd be surprised if they didn't start adding back in features to the mac version and bring those feature to the iOS and web version in lock step. It'll take time, but i imagine it'll slowly happen.

If it doesn't, they didn't remove the previous version

The one thing to watch out for is the new version will probably update the file format and make it impossible for the old version to open it.

However, if you are on a Mac, you should be using time machine and letting that back everything up so any old versions of files are accessibly anyway.

All this fuss, anyone would think this was FinalCutProGate!

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Dear Apple: Want to stay in business? Make an iPhone people can afford

simon gardener

reg@20thCenturyFish.co.uk

Ah yes ... DOOMED again !

Would these be the same bunch of analysts who said apple was DOOMED if they didn't release a netbook for less than 300$ ? Look how badly that worked out for them.

its amazing how often Apple are DOOMED and yet their sales and keep growing and their profits remain obscenely healthy.

<sigh>

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Apple blings up new iMac with latest Intel chips, next-gen Wi-Fi

simon gardener

Re: Can we PLEASE get to grips with this "Apple are expensive" line?

I just spent 30s on Dell's site too and could only get a machine that ran something called Windows

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Nokia quiz: Do you know what a phablet is?

simon gardener

reg@20thCenturyFish.co.uk

Phoneslab is fine , better than some of the dreadful names out there. However, I'm still plumping for Trannyphone - a phone so large it makes a transvestive's hands look small.

My 10 cents on the microsoft nokia thing - Winokia - sounds like a great place to be from

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'Liberator' 3D printed gun enters London's V&A Museum

simon gardener

Misleading headline

Damn that misleading headline !

I got all excited about the possibility of making my own Blake's 7 gun.

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Huawei Ascend Mate: The phondleslab for the skint

simon gardener

Re: Christ Almighty

Too right - the word is Trannyphone.

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Samsung Mega 6.3: Enter the PHONDLESLAB

simon gardener

can i be the first to propose...

can i be the first to propose Trannyphone as the new noun to describe these larger phones

Stupidly, I spelt it wrong when i submitted it to urban dictionary a while back.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tranyphone

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Asus will bung 'Nexus 7 2' fondle-droids on Blighty's shelves this month

simon gardener

Re: Specs make the iPad Mini look REALLY crap.

Yes, quickly now, before the rush !

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Chrome, Firefox blab your passwords in a just few clicks: Shrug, wary or kill?

simon gardener

Re: safari too - But it REQUIRES the users system password

Safari requires the user password - just like the keychain does. Without the password all you can see are a list of the sites you have passwords stored for and a bunch of dots.

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Review: Belkin Thunderbolt Express Dock

simon gardener

really?

Many of us would prefer to have the functionality we need and 280 + a fortune on cables in our pockets

Not quite sure how inconvenienced you've been by a laptop thats a few mm thicker and a few hundred milligrams lighter, but if you then have to carry a breakout box with you then the weight/size argument hold no water at all. Of course your solution could be to have two of these @ £280 so you can have the functionality at home and work. If thats the case I would hazzard a guess that you are earning a lot more than the average person or that your company buys your IT for you and its not coming out of your own pocket.

The idea of thunderbolt is lovely but its failure so far is reflected in how few thunderbolt devices are out there and are getting bought by the average user.

Firewire was great and we paid more for our firewire drives because it was faster - but then we could get the cables for just a few quid.

Thunderbolt is sadly pricing itself out of the market.

Shame.

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What happened to comics for kids? Hell, what happened to COMICS?

simon gardener

Re: Am I the only one who was left cold by Halo Jones? It just didnt reach me."

Yes.

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Apple iPad Mini 8in tablet review

simon gardener

Re: The screen

I have a 1st generation iPad - it apparently has a camera spaced shape inside where the camera should have sat.

but they kept that for the 2.

Apple do leave out features so they can be in a factor in the upgrade cycle. I would be very surprised if next year there isnt a iPad mini with a retina display. it might get ever so slightly thicker like the old new iPad did.

Apple have a longer history of maximising revenue at the customers expense - and i say this as someone who loves his 2008 macbook pro and his macMini and his 1st gen ipod touch and his hand-me down iphone4 (from GF who just upgraded) and pretty much every other apple product i've bought (except the ipod 3rd gen with those rubbish buttons at the top - what was Mr Ive and his team smoking that day ?).

My favourite trick of theirs was the bait and switch on the old plastic MacBooks - the bottom of the line had a dvd player/cd burner for years after dvd burners were standard and, i suspect with the way volumes of units work out , they were probably more expensive for apple to source than dvd burners - but hey drag them into the store on this price and get them to cough up the extra when they realise they might want to burn a dvd. Typically Apple scummy move

Thats business though - they aren't the only company out there that behaves this way , they just make better more desirable products

<sigh>

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simon gardener

Re: Sheltered Life

your pockets are the wrong size.

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British judge: Say you're sorry Apple... this time like you MEAN it

simon gardener

I thought it was funny

I'm not sure what the problem is - Apple were ordered to put up the court ruling and they did

thats the first paragraph .

They then quote from the judgement against them - did they misquote the Judge ? Apparently not. Its the Judges statement and quite frankly this must have been the best lose that apple could have had - the Judge says how lovely Apple's stuff is and how Samsung's stuff isn't as cool and therefore not a close copy. Samsung must have been really happy when that ruling came down!

Surely if that is the Judges opinion on which he made his ruling then apple have the right to quote it alongside the verdict. Really, did anyone expect anything else.

as for the other paragraphs quoting their wins in other jurisdiction - cheeky but also truth.

Apples posting has to be the only funny thing in this whole patent fiasco

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Dredd movie review

simon gardener

Peckham

I didnt even realise Peckham was a real place that existed outside of "Only Fools and Horses" . Now ill be travelling 1 1/2 hours across London to get to a 2d showing of dread. Drokk this 3D nightmare

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Sony deploys 11in Vaio to battle Apple Air

simon gardener
FAIL

El Reg in Apple Troll Clickbait Shocker!

El Reg in Apple Troll Clickbait Shocker!

thats it

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Chief Rabbi: I admire Jobs and Apple and use my iPad daily

simon gardener
FAIL

Holy Backtracking Batman

reminds me of two things

1) every cartoon when the character runs off the cliff and realises theres no ground underneath him anymore and tries to screech to a halt before plummeting into the abyss

and

2) that delicious time when the archbishop of canterbury in a disastrously failed attempt to look hip and down with the kids had his staff release a statement saying he could name all FOUR of the Spice Girls

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Apple iMac 27in

simon gardener

yes but no but yes

you're probably right in what you could do with the money except possible a tankful of premium petrol - have you seen what that costs today ????

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Acer Aspire Ethos 8943G 18.4in laptop

simon gardener
FAIL

eye catching???

greeted by a rather eye-catching keyboard"

eye-sore more like

from the photo the laptop looks like it fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

either the reviewer is related to the "designer" who decided to have a silver-ish keyboard area and a black palmrest area or is taking backhanders to say nice things about the product

or perhaps i don't have a clue about aesthetics.

heres hoping its not me

plus doesnt having a numeric keyboard on a laptop mean you end up having to sit off-center to type ?

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Apple bins iPhone covers

simon gardener

Thin margins? Not likely ! But who cares. Move Along . Nothing to see here

Jobs possibly (but probably not ) saw a bubble on someones iphone and decided it was ugly and he wasnt going to help that happen. So lets all buy android phones, that'll teach him !

get a life people , if you want a screen protector there are a myriad of cheaper places to buy one

if you want an iPhone or a Google phone go for it . get on on their merits and their usefulness to you

Now, why isnt there a little graphic of someone yawning I can add to this post ?

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iPhone ego clash costs Flash at Virgin America

simon gardener
Badgers

downside to the death of Flash

I was chatting to an adobe exec the other day about flash and mentioned that while i didnt have big problems with i do run click to flash to block Flash content because Flash adds really bug me ..

He pointed out that if flash goes away those adds will be implemented in HTML and i wont be able to get rid of them

Go Flash Go!

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Designer pitches iPad gaming wheel

simon gardener
FAIL

Poundland

fantastic ! probably end up going for a quid like the Golf Club, Gun, Tennis Racquet and ... wait for it... Yes ...Steering Wheel shaped wii remote holders that i saw this afternoon in uber Tat shop Poundland.

where incidentally you can get 5 curly wurlys for a pound :

(while stocks last

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Adobe heats up iPad Flash bash

simon gardener

Flash, ah ah - he'll save everyone of us

Flash Gordons alive

what no Ming the Merciless on the iPad - say it aint so.

for the last 3 or 4 months ive been running Click to Flash on my Mac and delighting in having grey boxes where the flash should be - about the only time i've clicked on the box to load the flash has been for you tube based video. and, guess what,you tube runs on the iDevices as they re-encoded everything into h264 realising that how big the apple market was and thats the way the apple wind was blowing .

admittedly I've no interest in playing browser based flash based games on my mac so its been a great experience being mostly flash free - no flickering distracting adds make aworld of difference

i recommend Click to Flash to all mac users

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Google: Do no evil, pay no tax

simon gardener

so which UK tax paying search engine can we use

so which UK tax paying search engine can we use ?

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Barnes & Noble chases Amazon with ebook second coming

simon gardener

bargain. Not

well i downloaded the reader for mac and for ipod touch then i went to take a look on B&N's site at their offering

i typed in Dune and up came the paperback for about $8 i clicked on digital version and it was on sale down from $17 to $13

I passed on their generous offer

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Apple offers free iPods, upgrades MacBook

simon gardener

and some colleges wont support vista

my sister is currently doing a teaching qualification at a higher education establishment in the UK that warns incoming students to make sure that if they are running windows that it is xp not vista as they will provide no support to anyone running vista.

its all very silly really when all they require is assignments handed in in a certain file format and most commercial or open source word processors and spreadsheets will export to a office format if required .

lets not forget why pcs are so cheap - they are subsidised by the companies whose trial software is preinstalled on your machine - software that a sizeable percentage of people will end up paying a subscription to to protect their machines from viruses.

sure, macs are more expensive but if you want an ipod this is a cracking deal

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BBC must reveal EastEnders costs

simon gardener

Thank goodness for the license fee

I've spent time living abroad and have seen tv in a number of countries and in my opinion having a tax payer funded tv system results in far superior tv networks.

Not only does it allow the BBC to make programs that wouldnt be made commercially but it forces the other stations to make an attempt to put out quality programming. News and documentaries would be the first real casualties. Drama next. Locally produced content would dwindle if it wasn't regulated.

Sure, theres a lot of rubbish on all channels, BBC included. Sadly the days of 3 channels , all of whom shut down for part of the day - are long gone.

ironically most of the people here who complain are probably paying 30 quid plus a month for Sky.

If all the football fans out there had held off for a couple of years when sky/bsb bid outrageous amounts of money for the footie - because that was the only way they could get people to sign up - then they would have failed and you wouldnt have to be paying a fortune to sky every year - Grandstand would still be showing the major matches and that would all be included in your license fee.

but no - you piled into sky and bsb and now whinge about the excellent value for money the Beeb represents

"more choice" the politicians and business people promised us ? more channels meant more time to fill and fragmenting audiences which mean lower budgets for shows, meaning lower quality and all the time the newer channels bidding higher amounts against each other for the top shows and you are paying more for it all the time

we should have stopped at channel 4

and dont get me started on digital delivery with its terrible compression . Whats the point of HiDef if its compressed to hell and looks like crap ?

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Europe drafts law to disconnect suspected filesharers

simon gardener

Do Something - write to them

Instead of posting here write to your MEP. Let them know what you think of the proposals.

Chances are your MEP hasnt read the proposal and doesn't know what it means, so before he or she rubberstamps it.

Let them know why you feel this legislation is a bad idea.

You never know, shining a little light on the subject might have some effect.

its very simple, go to

www.writetothem.com

enter your postcode, select your MEP and fill in the form

WriteToThem makes sure it gets to them.

Be polite - explain your concerns - ask them if they have read and understood the amendments - tell them how you want them to vote and ask them to let you know what their position is

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