* Posts by Chas

73 posts • joined 27 Jun 2008

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Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Chas
WTF?

Re: separation of OS and GUI

Oh FFS, the old sawhorse that Apple "stole" from Xerox is not only tiresome, but totally wrong. Aside from the fact that Apple PAID Xerox $1 million in stock for some of the IP, there are vast differences between the two systems.

Here's an essay from someone who was actually there:

http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?project=Macintosh&story=On_Xerox,_Apple_and_Progress.txt

=:~)

0
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Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland

Chas

Re: Downfall ?

Try saying that to the vision-impaired person who, having spend years struggling with Windows and paying a fortune for accessibility software, discovers said accessibility software is included at no extra charge on all Apple devices and is invariably the cheaper and better option.

A single seat of SuperNova for a VI person is £695: add a cheap PC for £300 and that's the best part of a grand. You can get a mid-range iMac for that and software for not only the blind and vision-impaired, but also the physically disabled, is already there. You can even get an entry-level Mac mini, screen, keyboard and mouse for about £550 if you're on a serious budget.

I work with the vision-impaired and to see how the Mac transforms their lives after having used Windows is very satisfying.

As Tim Cook said recently, "When we develop software for the disabled, I don't consider the bloody ROI!"

=:~)

6
0

Mighty Blighty broadbanders beg: Let us lay cable in BT's, er, ducts

Chas

Back in the day...

I remember back in the 80s when an outfit called, I think, Videotron were laying cable out in South-East London like it was going out of fashion, partly because they'd sewn up a deal with local councils to grant access to council-owned land to lay the aforementioned cable.

As part of the deal, all council tenants were offered cheap access to this facility and so one day, we had a visit from the Videotron sales rep. In breathless tones, we were assured that this new service was carried entirely on fibre-optic cable right up to the TV set. Ever the salesmen, the paid monkey in a suit even handed me an example foot-long length of this wondrous "fibre-optic cable" as an example of what would soon be carrying a plethora of TV channels and other services into the comfort of my own home.

A cursory examination of said cable revealed it to be nothing more than yer bog-standard 75 ohm copper coax. When called out on this aspect, the little salesman ensured me that I was mistaken and that, in fact, it was proper fibre-optic. I then went out to my bits-and-pieces cupboard, pulled out a 50m cable drum of 75 ohm copper coax I had knocking around (as you do), plonked it in front of him and said (in the most sarcastic tone I could muster), "Oh, really!..."

I lost count of the various shades of red his face ran through over the next 20 seconds...

=:~)

5
0

Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Chas
FAIL

You'd have more entertainment value if...

...you took the cash, set fire to it and used the smouldering embers to light your farts.

=:~)

5
7

The late 2014 Apple Mac Mini: The best (and worst) of both worlds

Chas

Still a great little machine but...

I'm so glad I got my maxed-out 2012 mini a few months ago. This puppy punches well about its weight. As to the amount of memory it uses, well at the moment I've got 460MB free out of 16GB—that might seem like very little but in actuality, just over 7GB is being used by apps, there's nearly 7GB in the File Cache and when you look at Memory Pressure, Apple's nifty tool for consolidating the various kinds of memory into one easy to read graph, it stubbornly stays green. I've never seen it get to amber even when giving the box a righteous thrashing and the whole machine remains very responsive.

It's a pity that there's no longer a quad core option but I think that's down to the Haswell quad cores having a different socket, which would necessitate Apple building two different logic boards. All in all, it's a pretty good refresh of the line and the lower price points make it attractive for the first-time buyer.

2
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DOUBLE BONK: Fanbois catch Apple Pay picking pockets

Chas

Looks like I'm right:

http://recode.net/2014/10/22/bank-of-americas-apple-pay-glitch-should-be-fixed-today/

=:~)

5
0
Chas

Since only BofA customers seem to have been affected, it would seem that logical that it's their fsckup.

=:~)

6
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Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Chas
WTF?

Here's an idea...

If you want to snoop on people, get a fucking warrant like you're supposed to, you lazy bastards!

=:~)

64
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That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN

Chas
Alert

Re: Panic!

Even better, tell 'em it's oxidane (the posh systematic name for Adam's Ale). That'll really confuse the buggers!

=:~)

1
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Apple CEO Tim Cook: TV is TERRIBLE and stuck in the 1970s

Chas

Re: Try searching on an ATV

You do realise that you can use a Bluetooth keyboard with it?

=:~)

2
0

Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

Chas
WTF?

Here we go again...

I love the way that the commentards leap all over Apple every time they bring out a new iShiny. It's not even been 24 hours and already people are kvetching about how it's too big/too small/ugly/pointless/expensive etc etc yada yada yada.

How about waiting until it's been actually released, developers have had a chance to see play with WatchKit and see what they come up with, and how actual users get to grips with it? All this pointless pontificating, vacuous verbiage and sneering sarcasm, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury and signifying absolutely sweet fsck all just smacks of the mewlings of the playground bully.

You don't like Apple—OK, we get it. Guess what?—I don't care! My computing choice is predicated on 44 years of using the bastard things, of all shapes, sizes and types. I use my Apple gear for both work and play because it works for me exceptionality well. YMMV.

=:~)

5
15

The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Chas
Unhappy

Re: The police are WRONG @Wayland Sothcott 1

I once had the displeasure of being on a jury where the case was an alleged assault on a police officer inside a police station. There were three days of evidence, the three police witnesses gave wildly conflicting accounts of the incident and the judge spent one and a half days (!) summing up the case in excruciating and, frankly, unnecessary detail.

We retired, elected a foreman and held a vote—unanimously not guilty. We didn't feel the need to debate since not one of the police witnesses could agree and the alleged injury was so minor it was laughable. We were back out in three minutes, delivered our verdict and were in the pub before you could say "Not guilty, m'lud!"

I was frankly appalled—as were we all—at the astronomical waste of the court's time and money.

=:~)

1
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Six of the best gaming keyboard and mouse combos

Chas

Re: No love for Mac gamers

Ooh, ooh! I see a G19S in my future! Just checked and it has Mac support.

Just don't tell 'er indoors—she'd give me serious verbals for dropping £150-odd on a frickin' keyboard.

=:~)

0
0
Chas

No love for Mac gamers

I'll lay money that none of the above have support for the Fruity One (stop sniggering!). Whilst only an occasional gamer, I'd love a decent keyboard/mouse combo that I could use. My son gave me his old CM Storm Inferno mouse (he knackered one of the buttons) which beats the pants off of a Magic Mouse for gaming but it's infuriating not to be able to makes use of those lovely extra buttons.

As for keyboards, don't get me going on Apple's keyboard, which is gorgeous to type on and use for my "normal" activities but is about as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit when it comes to mashing WASD. Playing Half Life 2: Deathmatch with my son is an exercise in futility. The bugger keeps sneaking up on me and shooting me in the back. I mean, what way is that to treat your old man?

=:~)

5
0

Microsoft: We plan to CLEAN UP this here Windows Store town

Chas

Gee, d'ya think?

Cleaning up the Windows Store is akin to the Fifth Labour of Hercules.

=:~)

6
0

YES YES YES! Apple patents mousy, pressure-sensing iVibrator

Chas

Re: It's that featureless mouse thing again!

Thirty seconds of instruction (remember RTFM!) and you'd have no problem. Or are you so averse to learning new ways because you're so mired in an ancient mindset? For the further edification of Luddites, Apple have instructional videos built into the mouse's Preference settings that show you how to use every gesture.

There was a time where we bashed away at a command line and the mouse was a new-fangled thing. We take them for granted now but that does not mean that there's no room for improvement. Personally, you can take my Magic Mouse from my cold dead hands!

Welcome (finally) to the 21st century.

=:~)

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8

China rips Apple out of govt IT mail-order catalogue – report

Chas

Err, no!

https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=zh-CN&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fcompanies.caixin.com%2F2014-08-06%2F100713823.html

=:~)

0
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AV for Mac

Chas

1. Use a decent router with a Stateful Packet Inspection firewall.

2. Make sure Gatekeeper is on.

3. Don't run day-to-day on an admin account.

4. LIttle Snitch.

5. ClamXAV.

Rather than clean them up after they've got in, the idea is not to let the buggers in in the first place.

4
4

Tom Hanks NICKED my COPYRIGHTED PIC, claims Brit photog

Chas

Re: Humbug

From the British Legion's website:

"The official rules for wearing medals allow only official awards to be worn. Unofficial purchased medals and foreign medals which do not have the Sovereign's permission to be worn are not allowed. Standard Bearers, Parade Marshals and other officials on Legion duty are bound by this ruling and unofficial medals must not be worn when on Legion duty.The medals awarded to a deceased Service / ex-Service person may be worn on the right breast by a near relative (mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband, daughter and son). Not more than one group should be worn by any individual."

1
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Apple: REIGN OF FIRE coming to Europe courtesy of old iPhone chargers

Chas
WTF?

Re: Nothing simple with Apple

That's so the fruity ones can identify where in the production chain the faulty chargers were introduced. The charger itself carries no serial number so the only way to work out where the problem chargers came from is to look at the phone's serial number and backtrace the production paperwork from there.

Obvious if you apply a little thought.

4
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The enemy of my enemy is my, well, temporary ally: Apple and Microsoft in pact against Google

Chas

Re: Next on Surface

Just a little fact correcting for you: Apple Computer Inc won against Apple Corp in the High Court on 8th May 2006 before Mr Justice Mann.

When in 1997 MS bought $150 million of non-voting stock in Apple (which was to fend off a bigger lawsuit by Apple) Apple had over a billion $ cash in hand.

Don't let facts get in the way of your delusions, though :)

=:~)

10
3
Chas

Re: Bing on Mac's

Gawd!

Not that old "Microsoft owns part of Apple" sawhorse. FYI, in 1997 MS purchased 150,000 shares of Series A nonvoting convertible preferred stock at $1,000 per share. They sold their entire holding several years later.

Ergo, Microsoft do NOT own any part of Apple and haven't done for over ten years. Go take a gander at Apple's 2003 10-K filing.

To quote F.E. Smith, you may be none the wiser but at least you're now better informed.

=:~)

13
3

Scientists capture DEATH STAR in VIOLENT EXPLOSION

Chas
Mushroom

Pfftt. 'TIs but a mere firecracker compared to a pair instability supernova. These puppies really put on a good show.

I'll be the one orbiting R136a1 with a bowl of popcorn and Factor 20,000,000,000,000 sunblock.

0
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Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Chas
Mushroom

Expecting a Downfall-style Hitler rant in 3…2…1…

=:~)

0
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Charity: Ta for the free Win 8.1, Microsoft – we'll use it to install Win 7

Chas
WTF?

Re: Why Windows in the first place?

You might not like charity organisations but there are many who provide a valuable contribution to local communities. Indulge me whilst I Illustrate with an example:

I volunteer at a local community centre, itself a registered charity and a company limited by guarantee. It is located in the North East of England in an area the government acknowledge as suffering from a high level of social deprivation and unemployment. There are two full-time employees whose salaries are paid for through funding raised from other organisations who finance a variety of community projects. Two other people, the building's caretakers, are employed by the local council from whom we lease the building. We also have an Ofsted-registered nursery catering for 0-5 year old children.

As well as a wide variety of social and leisure activities for all age groups, we also have two IT suites which are heavily used for a variety of purposes, not the least of which is catering for unemployed people fulfilling their obligations under Job Search and a myriad of other things like applying for benefits of all kinds which the government now require to be done online—over 40% of the local population do not have access to the internet of a computer at home, so we provide a vital service in that regard.

We also provide IT services for vision and hearing-impaired people, those with low literacy skills and those for whom English is not their first language. As a charity, we have received our Windows licences free and we make use of many other open-source packages. We are also looking to move to a more heterogeneous computing environment incorporating Macs and Linux in the future.

In short, the cost of maintaining our IT systems pales into insignificance compared to the cost of maintaining the infrastructure: gas and electricity bills,insurance, interior fabric maintenance, yada, yada, yada. Every single penny of profit is ploughed back into serving the community's needs: last year, nearly 5000 people benefited from the centre. Put another way, over 60% of the local population directly benefited from the centre's activities. Therefore, the idea that such services can be created and run by an organisation staffed entirely by volunteers is both ludicrous and jejune: you need highly-skilled people in order to drive this forward and for that, you need to pay them.

We also are having to contend with the government's Community Asset Transfer program—an accounting con-job of monstrous proportions—which will mean us becoming responsible for everything while the council keeps the building as an asset on their books without having any responsibility for it. Many centres in the surrounding area will not be able to cope with the financial responsibility and will undoubtedly fold thus further disenfranchising people who can ill afford further social isolation.

So, before you decide to repeat your importunate and ill-advised commentary, I urge you to spare a thought for those less well-off than yourself and for those organisations who struggle daily against a sea of government iniquity to make a genuine difference in people's lives. To quote Whoopi Goldberg: "…he who is without shit on their shoe, take the first step on the white rug!"

=:~)

15
1

KCOM-owned Eclipse FAILS to cover up the password 'password'

Chas

Re: Can be useful though

No it isn't! If I log into my Eclipse account and pull up my details in My Users, my account login password is shown as stars.

Thanks for playing, though.

=:~)

0
0

Ban-dodging Mac Pro to hit Blighty's shops as Apple bows to fan fears

Chas
Happy

For sale

One Grandmother. Only one owner and with FSH.

Only went to church on Sundays.

£5000 ono

No time wasters, please.

=:~)

0
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Sinclair’s 1984 big shot at business: The QL is 30 years old

Chas

Ah, the QL—fond memories!

I got a QL when Dixons started knocking them out for £199 and I loved it. For the time it was a great machine and I almost never had problems with the Microdrives. I remember I got an expansion board (can't remember what it was called) that bunged another 512K of RAM into it. After my ZX-81 and Vic-20, this was my first "serious" computer.

Psion's app suite was pretty damn good—I loved Quill— and all in all, I got two years of good use out of it before I moved onto the Atari ST. I wish I still had it: I've gone all nostalgic now (sniff, sniff).

It was flawed but it had heart.

4
0

Furious Frenchies tell Apple to bubble off: Bling iPhone isn't 'champagne'

Chas

They shoot horses, don't they?

Considering the propensity of the French for the consumption of our equine friends, they surely would have issue with the International Champagne Horse Registry? Personally I think anyone who can't differentiate between fizzy wine and a colour descriptor has been consuming far too much of the former.

The French doth protest too much. methinks!

=:~)

2
1

Happy birthday MIDI 1.0: Slave to the rhythm

Chas
Thumb Up

Very few people remember Doctor T and yet Emile Tobenfeld was a pioneer, producing what was arguably the first editable computer sequencer, KCS (Keyboard Controller Sequencer) for the Commodore 64 in 1984. In fact, Emile had written a paper for MIT's "Computer Music Journal" in the winter of 1983 outlining outlining the basic concepts of a computer sequencer and talking about potential concepts and features that would not be implemented until KCS Omega 5 was released around 1989.

KCS was always the red-headed step-child compared to sequencers like Pro-24 and Creator, with a quirky interface and a steep learning curve, but it had many features that even today have no equal. KCS's unparalleled Open Mode allowed sequences to be triggered in real time from the keyboard. These sequences could contain other data to in turn trigger other sequences or alter some other aspect, such as playing a sequence but up a Major 4th. There were even control messages that could be inserted into a sequence that allowed for the use of flow control, stochastic and aleatoric composition techniques: I once wrote a four-section work where, although the musical structure was tightly defined, it never played the same thing twice.

This, coupled with KCS's almost contemptuous regard for the "tyranny of the bar line", made KCS the perfect choice for composers interested in complex interlocking polymetre and nonstandard time signatures.

Doctor T's also produced editors for the major synths of the time, a score-writer and a number of other music composition tools such as Fingers and Tunesmith. Emile's own MIDI-Ax, essentially Fingers with a whole slew of interactive real time controllers and triggers was deemed far too complex for general release—in fact, Emile designed it solely or his own use, but would gladly give copies away to those brave enough to take on the extraordinarily rich musical landscape it engendered.

I can remember being at NAMM in 1994 demoing KCS Omega for Doctor T's and was gratified to see the reverence he was held in by his peers in other companies. They—quite rightly, in my opinion—regarded him as a legend.

=:~)

1
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Boffins spot planet that could support life... just 12 light years away

Chas

what would Kirk say?

Khaaaaaaaannnnnnnn!!!

=:~)

0
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Nokia HERE today with decent mapping on Apple devices

Chas
Meh

Worthy but sluggish

It took HERE about two minutes to identify my location and was painfully slow at loading the map tiles. Apple's Maps is not perfect but is very much faster and accurate in determining my location. Walking and public transport links are a definite bonus, though.

Like Maps, it needs work.

5
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Apple iPad Mini 8in tablet review

Chas

Re: The screen

"Until next year, when this'll be obsolete, and we all have to rush out and buy a new one, you mean?"

So, just like every other manufacturer who release new models thus "obsoleting" previous versions. Please explain how Apple's policy of releasing new versions is any different from Samsung or Amazon or anyone else.

1
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Parents shocked by priestly PowerPoint pr0n

Chas
Facepalm

Wrong presentation

He obviously accidentally put up images he was planning to use on Palm Sunday.

=:~)

23
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Mobile Trojan mimics Android clean-up tool

Chas
WTF?

WTF?

And people bitch about Apple's curated App store.

0
2

Apple frees iOS 4.3 two days before iPad 2 Arrival™

Chas
FAIL

WTF

"Xcode was previously free, by the way, bundled with Mac OS X installer discs or downloadable. But as we've said many time, Apple has never met a revenue stream it didn't like – like most companies."

Register a free developer account and you can still download Xcode for free. Never let journalistic integrity get in the way of a good snarky comment, eh? No doubt we'll see the usual rabid anti-Apple brigade along shortly to heap yet more ill-informed vitriol on the head of Jobs.

4
13

Antennagate Redux: Consumer Reports condemns Verizon iPhone 4

Chas
Jobs Halo

Whither morons?

@Julian 3

Guess you're so used to the shite that M$ puts out that you can't tell quality when it slaps you in the face. FYI, I've NEVER had a problem with ANY iPhone - they've all worked perfectly.

Your loss, schmuck!

10
55

Memo to iPad mimics: No one wants a $799 knockoff

Chas
Jobs Halo

And another thing...

Please show me the apps on RIM's Playbook or on any Android device that are certified by the FDA for use as a remote diagnostic imaging tool (http://www.mimsoftware.com/products/iphone) or have FAA approval for use as an alternative to paper flight charts (http://www.jeppesen.com/company/newsroom/articles.jsp?newsURL=news/newsroom/2011/iPad_EFB_authorization_NR.jsp)

Oh, that'll be zero, then. I suppose I'd better not mention the 80% of Fortune 100 companies that are adopting the iPad in the enterprise. Where's Android? Nowhere!

5
4

Death by 30% cut: Apple app tax must change

Chas
Jobs Halo

Talk about missing the point!

Publishers are whinging that they can't get a free ride on Apple's ecosystem - tough! If you distribute your content through the App Store, you pay, just like anyone else has to do. Apple run the iStore at break-even so claims that they're making any profit in the deal is laughable. Publishers aren't interested in content: they want to sell your info to everyone else to the detriment of the consumer.

Perhaps the author would like to comment on the following article:

http://counternotions.com/2011/02/16/stores

This is one of the best analyses I've seen on the whole debate and a cursory search will turn up many more (and as many decrying the whole issue). At least Apple are putting the choice back in the hands of the consumer - and about bloody time too!

6
67

Italian white van man nudges sound barrier

Chas
Happy

Err...

@Annihilator

The problem with the fella tailgating Thrust SSC is that when Andy Greene bangs on the afterburner, he'll go from regular to extra crispy in about half a second...

Wait a minute... on second thoughts...

<searches frantically on eBay for a second-hand Rolls-Royce Spey />

=:~)

0
0

Microsoft issues temp fix for serious Windows security bug

Chas
FAIL

Same shit, different day!

Yet another 0-day vuln. People stupid enough to use Windoze deserve everything they get! Switch to Mac or a nice Linux distro and watch all this shite disappear.

=:~)

10
14

Apple without Jobs: Who's next?

Chas
Jobs Halo

Fer chrissakes..

..give the dude a break. No other company on the planet would garner this kind of ridiculous punditry. Let me spell it out for those who can't get to grips with reality: Apple != Steve Jobs despite appearances. Steve has infused Apple with his unique vision as he did at Pixar. It's still the talent at Apple - the engineers, designers, coders, etc - who make the magic happen, not Steve. They got the message long ago and continue to do so today. Steve did make Apple what it is today, but it will still be at the vanguard of computer design and engineering (where they've been for the last 20-odd years) long after he's dead and departed.

Steve sold Pixar to Disney some time ago and yet they still beat the living crap out of every other CGI animation company on the planet, including Dreamworks. Folks are too hung up on the mythos and not focussed enough on what Apple actually do as a company. They are spanking everyone else, including Microsoft - so tell me why there is no other company who can take on Apple?. If there were, we'd see someone leapfrogging Apple, whereas we all know and can see that, as Byte Magazine put it back in 1994 (!), "Indeed, it would not be an exaggeration to describe the history of the computer industry for the past decade as a massive effort to keep up with Apple.". That adage remains as true today as it was seventeen years ago.

Like them or loathe them, no one can deny the extraordinary comeback Apple have made in the last thirteen years when they were, as Steve himself acknowledged at D8, 90 days from Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Now, they are the biggest technology company on the face of the planet - ignore that at your peril!

=:~)

4
2

Man caught w*nking over Alan Sugar's autobiography

Chas
WTF?

WTF?

...is a tommy tank? Suitable rhyming slang alternatives would be J. Arthur, Jodrell, Barclays - even came across septic once, so to speak - but tommy tank?

Shome mishtake shurely?

=:~)

0
0

Apple's FaceTime for Mac debuts with security holes

Chas
FAIL

Oops!!

Looks like Jobs will be handing out the pink slips. It's uncharacteristically stupid of Apple to let this one slip though: they've dropped the ball on a few occasions but this one's a doozy!

And what's with no support for Leopard? - no bloody good reason to omit these users.

Arse!

=:~)

0
0

Sir Norman Wisdom dies at 95

Chas
Unhappy

A true genius

I remember years ago working as a follow-spot operator on a Royal Variety show where Norman was doing a turn. During the rehearsals, he went through the routine "marking" it for the cameras and the stage techs. It was about as funny as watching an Albanian party political broadcast - loads of us backstage though the old boy had lost it completely.

Come the actual performance, he does exactly what he'd done in rehearsals... and it was utterly hysterical. I then understood why he was such a genius - his mastery of comic timing was incredible. We even got a telling off from the stage manager for laughing so much that it drowned out other people on the headset intercom.

Bless you, Norman. You will be sorely missed! Favourite film: Follow A Star.

=:~)

5
0

Apple COO Cook to take the HP helm?

Chas
WTF?

Err...

Not. Going, To, Happen,

Stock manipulation, plain and simple.

=:~)

0
0

Feds want backdoors built into VoIP and email

Chas
FAIL

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Benjamin Franklin

The sooner the governments realise that they are employed by the people, and that it is the people who wield the ultimate power, the world might be a saner place.

=:~)

1
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Steve Jobs carried 'ninja throwing stars' in hand luggage

Chas
FAIL

Bullshit!

It's amazing what crap people believe without even the faintest sign of critical thinking.

FYI, the story has already been proven false. Nice to see all the Apple trolls fall over this one (see above) and making total idiots of themselves, as usual.

=:~)

0
6

Microsoft's KIN goes to hell: Site offers comfort

Chas
WTF?

WTF?

When I visited the site, it showed me logged on as the site administrator!!

Blimey :D

=:~)

0
0

Romford coppers try to stopper young snapper

Chas

Know your rights

@DaveyDaveDave

Here you go:

http://www.sirimo.co.uk/2009/05/14/uk-photographers-rights-v2/

=:~)

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