* Posts by TheProf

257 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

TheProf

You've just reminded me of a Channel 4 programme from many moons ago called 'Watch The Woman'. It was for women. And very funny it was too although I don't think it was supposed to elicit laughter.

Anyhow....One presenter was expressing her anger towards a man who had used c*nt as an insult. 'No one's genitalia should be used as the basis of an insult' she fumed.

Later in the programme they awarded their 'Prick of the Week' award. I think a man won it.

(The also managed to blame men for women suffering from thrush. Men forcing women into wearing pantihose apparently.)

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

TheProf
Happy

Poundland

I bought some AGFA film in there yesterday. I've been running it through a Recesky Twin Lens Reflex I bought from eBay. It's a DIY plastic camera and it puts all the 'arty' bits in for you.

I get the films developed at a local ASDA (because it sounds like AGFA!) I get the smallest print size and ask them not to to cut the negatives.

As for not experiencing 'life on a 3" screen, I agree. When I saw a Space Shuttle launch I gave my camera to my friend and watched the whole thing with my own eyes.

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The Voices: A horror-comedy that’s as schizophrenic as its protagonist

TheProf
Devil

What?

But but but Scottish accents are hilarious.

Such as Shrek.

And Frankie Bolye.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

TheProf

sigh!

And this is what passes for 'entertainment' on Channel 4 these days?

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Lighty and flighty: Six sizzling portable projectors

TheProf

Noise

"a consistent 28dB hum

low-level 30dB operational whine

a controlled 33dB whir/jumps to 38dB

rather high at 36dB"

Well that all sounds (sic) rather scientific. Except you forgot to mention from how far away these measurements were made. 'As loud as a jet engine' is often used by 'the media' but it's not that loud if the jet is 50,000 feet away.

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Noobs can pwn world's most popular BIOSes in two minutes

TheProf
Mushroom

Re: manufacturers are to blame 100%

I've just looked at the ASUS website and they seem to encourage people to update the BIOS to wit the 8 series m/b has a BUTTON to initiate the update.

Flashing the bios ------->

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BBC websites GO TITSUP – Auntie blames 'internal system failure'

TheProf
Happy

Re: Radio Feeds

I use a web browser to listen to the Popmaster quiz on Radio 2 every weekday at 10:30am. I can't say that I've had any real trouble for ages. (With the streaming. My pop knowledge is 50%.) Oh wait, once last week I had to use a 'real' radio but that's the only instance in many months.

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Attack of the Digital People: The BBC goes fully Bong

TheProf

Re: bbc + digital = fail

Or a web browser. It works with web browsers. You should try it.

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Microsoft RE-BORKS Windows 7 patch after reboot loop horror

TheProf

Wailing and gnashing of some teeth

'twice-issued Microsoft Windows 7 patch is still causing pain for <SOME> users' FIFY

It hasn't caused me any problem.

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Redmond's Patch Tuesday to kill off the Windows FREAK show

TheProf
Happy

As usual

Windows 7 64 bit laptop. 13 updates that installed almost as quickly as a normal reboot sequence.

1 reboot. No problems.

Why do some people think updates are the worst thing in the world? Oh yes, The Internet.

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MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases

TheProf

Re: Future, what future

I hate it when that happens!

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

TheProf
Happy

Sass

Have an up-vote you hoopy frood.

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Sophie the Stegosaurus was a teenaged fat lass claims triple-D model

TheProf

BBC radio

BBC Radio 4 news announced the weight as 1.6 tonnes. "Not unlike a small rhino." Because small rhinos are a common sight in the UK.

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NASA 'nauts complete another EPIC SPACEWALK to route cables around ISS

TheProf

No steam but....

Didn't the moon shuttle in 2001: A Space Odyssey have pinging noises to help guide the pilots to the landing pad?

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

TheProf
Unhappy

Re: How many...

I once complained about an advert.

It was for an 'Italian' margarine. Two elderly women picnicking on a beach kicked their dog which ran off and stole the towel from a young man who was using it to change beneath after a swim. The two laughing women then photographed the naked man.

The ASA eventually wrote back presenting the findings of their investigation. Amongst the complaints they'd received were:

Stereotyping of Italians:

Cruelty to a dog.

Humiliation of a young man by two elderly women.

The ASA rejected all the complaints because the advert was obviously intended to be humorous.

I failed to see the joke.

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Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life

TheProf
Angel

Much easier

If you want to know where a phone user is just call them.

"I'M ON THE BUS."

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Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP

TheProf
Devil

WOW!

"Unsurprisingly, after hearing from The Register on Monday, Sky promised to release a new update today."

Jeepers! You must wield a mighty stick in tech circles if you can get a problem fixed with one phone call. Any chance of you sorting out the Greek financial problem?

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To Explain the World, Girl in a Band and A Spool of Blue Thread

TheProf
Facepalm

A strange choice.

"'The Whitshanks were not remarkable in any way whatsoever,' she writes. Ms Tyler damns herself from the outset… then pray why write about them, Anne?"

Then pray why write a review about a book about them, Mark?

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BEHOLD the magnificent lunar backside in our MOON VIDEO

TheProf

Unknown

Dark as in 'unknown' not dark as in 'unlit'. The same way Africa used to be called the Dark Continent.

Sorry, I know, boring comment.

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Toshiba packs NUMERIC KEYPAD onto self-bricking USB drive

TheProf

Re: Right...

Want to buy an extension cable and a pencil?

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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

TheProf
Devil

Re: Blimey!

"This could change the way people do laundry" followed by the 'cha-chunk' sound of a pump-action shotgun.

Now I'm interested.

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

TheProf

Kill the messenger.

Apart from being 6 weeks behind The Register what have the BBC done to deserve another snippy article?

They certainly didn't "claim(ing) a scoop". I heard 'The BBC has learned' but no mention of a scoop.

Newsnight certainly didn't defend the police. Both guests in the studio attacked the police in this matter. In fact only the police officer put up any sort of defence of their behaviour.

What did we learn from Newsnight? Depends who you are. El Reg readers: probably not so much. Newsnight viewers: probably enough to have their opinion of the police taken down another notch.

What have we learned from El Reg? Well I've learned that tabloid tactics aren't just used by the print media.

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Death becomes it: Grim Fandango Remastered

TheProf
Happy

The old version

I've recently been playing the original version and it looks good on my 24" widescreen monitor. I didn't think it needed any 'remastering' but it's nice to know that it's once again available to purchase.

I'm one of those impatient people who wants to get on with the story so I've used a walk-through more often than a genuine puzzle fan would do. I'm full of admiration for people who can play the game without cheating.

That said I still found the game frustrating. There's one part in the undersea section where one has to click a very small and far away item at exactly the right moment. Miss it and there's a (what seems like forever) wait until the object is in the right place again. That kind of 'picky' action tends to put me off a game.

I go back to it occasionally because it looks good, sounds good, and it's funny.

Now I want to give Starship Titanic another chance.

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Wheeee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

TheProf
Facepalm

You're right! The other 80% of the population should wait until you've caught up with them.

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TheProf

Re: If....

Do you mean you think BT should run fibre optic cables up a telegraph post and then dangle one across to each property?

Do fibre optics take kindly to that sort of treatment?

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Landlines: The tech that just won't die

TheProf
Unhappy

Call filtering

A problem is that a lot of phone calls from institutions don't have a caller ID for the filtering system to pick up.

I've had several NUMBER NOT AVAILABLE or WITHHELD displays on the phone that turned out to be important calls from hospitals or credit card companies.

Also some bogus insurance calls are using fake numbers. I've been getting ones starting with 0151, the prefix for Merseyside numbers.

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Wizard of Oz OFFICIALLY 'most significant movie' EVER, says PNAS

TheProf
Joke

Call a Doctor

Are you sure the picture isn't from Doctor Who?

The colour scheme looks suitably garish.

A TARDIS console.

Bloke with long white hair.

Frock coat.

Annoying female assistant.

Crap robot.

Even crapper 'man in a rubber suit' monsters.

Oooo-eeeeee-oooooo.

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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

TheProf
Unhappy

More a review of Windows than the tablet.

I was tempted to get one of these but one user review mentioned that it had a plastic screen. Out of all the 'professional' reviews I've read not one mentioned the screen material. However they all mentioned the 'odd button placement'.

Considering that the screen is the main input device I'd like to know what it's made of (I know it's not Gorilla glass 'cos everyone mentions that!) how it feels to drag a finger across it, whether it 'feels right' and what the image looks like.

Nice to know that it comes in sleeved sturdy box!

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Acer Chromebook 13: The best Googletop on the market?

TheProf

One for dad

This sounds ideal for my dad. He only uses his current laptop for internet stuff. I don't think he's got any 'proper' programs loaded.

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Bloke in Belgium tries to trademark Je Suis Charlie slogan

TheProf

Re: Brave, or stupid?

So you're worried you won't be able to pick-up your copy as usual? Perhaps now is the time to subscribe.

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Our EXCLUSIVE VID of MIRACLE TECH: Charge your phone in 16 SECONDS – WIRELESSLY

TheProf

Re: C'mon El Reg, play fair.

If The Register had asked for more information and been refused then there would have been a story. If they'd got an interview and a look at the tech, then, again, there would have been a story.

As it stands this is either a silly waste of time (by at least one party) or just a bad joke (by at least one party.)

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Eight pocket-pleasing USB 3.0 hard drives

TheProf
Happy

Re: Not enough power!

I did that too. Took the drive out of a Toshiba model. It was a standard SATA connector and fitted into my laptop with no trouble at all. It worked out cheaper than buying a bare drive.

One thing impressed me with the Tosh case was the activity light. Plugged into a USB3 port and it glows blue. In a USB2 port it's white.

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Tesco preps for Big Data Engine dump: Laters, Clubcard dev

TheProf
Unhappy

Not a great experience

I've cut back my shopping at Tesco because:

they 'improved' my local store and imbued it with all the charm of the security gate at an airport;

they failed to have shopping baskets at the entrance on every other visit;

they almost invariably forgot to add on the 'green bonus' points when I took my own shopping bag;

they put men's toiletries and men's magazines at 'pinch-points' meaning I had to keep dodging aggressive women with lethal trolleys.

Still not as awful an experience as my local ASDA but they have seriously lost their way. I'm always impressed with how nice Sainsbury's is.

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Music fans FUME over PJ Harvey ticket CHAOS as Somerset House site buckles

TheProf

I'll try again to comment

I don't know if I was moderated out of existence or I forgot to post before but here goes.

I don't know, in my day I had to go to the box office and queue to get tickets to see a band. Sometimes I queued in the rain. Sometimes all the tickets sold out before I got to the kiosk.

And today some people moan because they have to refresh the screen every 5 seconds for half-an-hour.

I blame twitter.

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Elite:Dangerous goes TITSUP

TheProf
Meh

Re: I'm not a programmer.

Thanks for the comments. I think I have a better understanding of the 'game' now. Big universe, big graphics and real-time interactions.

As I said it was the up-front cost that stopped me buying in. That said wasn't the BBC game £14.99 in the late 80's. That's about £44 now and the game looks so much better.

Another point: why did I get down votes on my original post?

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TheProf
Meh

I'm not a programmer.

I watched a video on YouTube of a real human player in a life-or-death tussle with another real human player. It was interesting to the point of me almost signing up for the game. It's just the £40 price tag. I've never paid that much for a game. I'm the wait 6 months and get it for a tenner type. Yep, a cheapskate.

As I said I don't programme but how difficult could it be to 'snapshot' the initial starting conditions and let players fly around in their own private universe? They managed to squeeze the original game into a BBC micro so I can't understand the reluctance of Frontier to offer an 'arcade' version.

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Apple's 16GB iPhones are a big fat lie, claims iOS 8 storage hog lawsuit

TheProf

Re: Dumb

Hmm? Would you be more specific.

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Let it go, let it go ... Sales of games, video and music up for second year

TheProf
Devil

Follow the money

'Disney’s Frozen video, which sold over 4 million copies, 50 per cent more than the best-selling FIFA 15 video game.'

A quick look on Amazon lists Frozen as under £10 and FIFA15 at more than £30.

So 4 million Frozen at say £10 is £40 million

2.65 million FIFA15 at say £30 is £80 million. (Figures rounded.)

Frozen may be massively out-selling FIFA but the money is going to the football game.

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Here's Johnny! Top Ten fantasy Blu-ray boxsets and special editions

TheProf
Devil

Yer wat?

'The stories may be hockey, '

Hockey? Did you mean 'Hokum' or are we witness to the birth of an OED 'word of the year'?

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Reg man confesses: I took my wife out to choose a laptop for Xmas. NOOOO

TheProf
Coat

Choices

Should have gone for a coffee maker. Oh, wait. Tassimo? Senseo? Nespresso?

Does she not like shoes?

Gets wallet.

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Shock! Nork-grating flick The Interview WILL be in cinemas – Sony

TheProf

And the winner is.............

The Naked Gun.

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Frustration with Elite:Dangerous boils over into 'Refund Quest'

TheProf
Mushroom

I-War

I now want to play I-War. It's old and not very Elite-like (no trading) but it's a fun single player space war game. Available from online retailers.

(Can we have an FB Spaceship icon please?)

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The Great Unwatched: BBC hails glorious digital future for Three

TheProf
Mushroom

I don't watch anything on BBC3

and lately I've found bugger all on any of their other channels either.

Maybe it's my fault. Perhaps I should cultivate an interest in dancing/baking/celebrity/animals and anything with the words 'Great' or 'British' in the title.

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Confused about 5G? So are we, say carriers

TheProf

5G for Dummies

Here's a quick Tomorrow's World style look at 5G.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b04tr348/click-29112014

No technical details so don't expect to be enlightened.

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Feast your eyes: 10 'fortysomething' smart TVs

TheProf
Devil

Slight tangent

I have a 'smart' Sony TV that has Demand5 on it. The other night I tried to watch Gotham on Demand5 but it wasn't listed as a catch-up programme. I eventually linked the laptop to the TV and watched it that way.

The following evening I fired up the Sony PS3 and out of curiosity checked the Demand5 app. Gotham was listed and I played the first few minutes to check if it worked. It did. I checked the TV app again and Gotham was missing.

My question to the panel is: Why does the same catch-up app offer different programmes on different devices?

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Orion 'Mars' ship: Cosmic ray guard? Go. Parachutes? Go. Spacerock shield? Go!

TheProf
Coat

Model

Ah! So it's a model of the Orion in it's launch configuration that Howard (Big Bang Theory) has recently acquired.

He also has a Space 1999 Eagle model.

It's a quiet day!

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Men, Women and Children: Shows how crap the internet is via the medium of crap film

TheProf
Devil

A confession

I have never watched a film containing Adam Sandler.

God, didn't I suffer enough when you inflicted Jim Carrey on the world?

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Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

TheProf
Mushroom

Re: Eh?

Another boring YouTube video. Why don't these boffins* learn to edit before they post? Do we really need to see the robot make half a dozen attempts to take the back off a monitor? Show it cutting once and move on.

(I only watched the first 2 minutes so please don't tell me if helicopters arrive and Hellfire the monitor into oblivion in the third reel.)

*Not just boffins. A twenty minute video of unboxing a phone/camera/Batman statuette? AGGH!

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Lame phone dodgers fleece finance's foolish and fat fingered

TheProf
Devil

Sorry wrong number

"If they pick up and claim to be your organisation, well then it's pretty-well certain they're fraudsters and you should call your telco."

Yeah and they're using numbers pretty close to your telco's so don't misdial.

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