* Posts by TheProf

327 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Got an Android phone? SMASH IT with a hammer – and do it NOW

TheProf
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Unhappy

Aww cr8p

Well all this advice doesn't help ease my mind.

I received a MMS on Saturday. It claimed to be from Vodafone (it had a 4 digit short code) but I deleted it. I remember the 'pay £1.50 to view a video' scams a few years back and though it was one of those.

Have these evil-packed MMS been seen in the wild or are they still in the labs?

Edit: I'd blocked the phone number. It was 9774. Appears to be a number Vodafone use.

Anyone else had marketing MMS from Vodafone recently?

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Antitrust this! EU Commish goes after HOLLYWOOD’s big guns

TheProf
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Re: What's not to like?

Or everyone will end up paying the the same price as the highest priced country.

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Beaten blokes HATE the women who frag them in online games

TheProf
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Re: Going to beat your downvotes

Yeah! Loosers! ;-)

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UK.gov makes total pig's ear of attempt to legalise home CD ripping

TheProf
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Facepalm

Re: What about downloads you get with paid physical products?

To make things even more complicated: I've bought physical CDs from Amazon for friends who don't have MP3 players. Am I entitled to keep the Autorip MP3?

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Neil Armstrong's MOON spacesuit: One small donation from you - one giant leap for Mankind

TheProf
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Headmaster

"The BBC are still using........."

Stop being silly.

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Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

TheProf
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Go

The real question is...

Is it worse than Green Lantern?

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TalkTalk deactivates hundreds of email accounts after legacy spam scare

TheProf
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Facepalm

This again?

" no doubt using their premium rate phone line. "

Last time I had to call TalkTalk about a problem (a few years ago since you ask) the call didn't cost anything because it was made on a TalkTalk phone line.

This is from their help page.

'Calls are free from your TalkTalk phone. Non-TalkTalk 3ppm plus your phone company access charge.'

I'm all for bashing big companies but not when it comes to repeating mistakes 'some bloke on twitter' made.

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Your security is just dandy, Apple Pay, but here comes Android

TheProf
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Devil

Re: Watch Out for Flat Battery Syndrom

and woe betide you if you're caught recharging your ticket from the train electrical supply.

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Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

TheProf
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Alien

Pareidolia

So also the highly amusing

http://www.ufosightingsdaily.com

(No Pluto stuff at the time of posting but just give 'em time to histogram the life out of the images.)

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Google joins Bluetooth snoop pals with iBeacon rival tech Eddystone

TheProf
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Devil

Re: So now they all want to see when your eyeballs look at the screen

"Your phone continues to report your position even when it is off."

Now that is some scary tech. And I even pulled the battery out.

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PLUTO SPACE WHALE starts to give up its secrets

TheProf
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Headmaster

Shurely Shome Mishtake

Exogeology.

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Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

TheProf
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Unhappy

Sue ball

Can I sue anyone over the fact El Reg has brought to my attention a sporting event of some kind?

I do not like sport and now I will be in constant fear that a stranger will try to start a conversation about sporting people in Canada. (Can I say Canada without being sued? Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada. Yes, that seems fine.)

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Sorry, say boffins, the LHC still hasn't sucked us into a black hole

TheProf
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Re: I understood that tiny blackholes were very unstable.

That's all very well and good but why did you post as an Anonymous Coward?

(Up-voted anyway.)

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Black and Latina boffins regularly mistaken for janitors, study finds

TheProf
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Devil

Re: This cuts both ways

You should quit the Village People.

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The Scientific Secrets of Doctor Who

TheProf
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Who?

Rather an uneven review of what now sounds like an uneven book.

Who is going to buy this? Soft buggers like me who enjoy the whole silliness that is Doctor Who.

Of course it isn't 'hard SF' but then it isn't intended to be. Maybe we could call Who (and Star Trek and Star Wars and Farscape and Lexx and .........) 'Popular SF'?

Why the reverences to Murray Gold? Does the book have it's own soundtrack?

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UK TV is getting worse as younglings shun the BBC et al, says Ofcom

TheProf
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Make/Watch

Broadcasters are showing a lot less new material and they wonder why people are spending less time watching television? Quick! Set-up a committee to investigate this strange phenomenon.

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Got a GUITAR, daddio? Wanna plug it into iOS or Droid? Try the iRig 2

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Man in India claims his new iPhone 6 combusted in his car

TheProf
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Mushroom

Sparks?

Phone plugged into a non-standard car charger?

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Even Apple doesn’t mess with Taylor Swift

TheProf
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Devil

all your base are belong to us

Of course even Ms Swift isn't above using Apple tactics.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-33232244

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Pluto plastered in what looks like 1970s orange wallpaper – proof

TheProf
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Coffee/keyboard

WTF?

".....Exactly why they are so different is the subject of debate."

Surely it's the subject of "Science".

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Cupertino GIVES IN to Taylor Swift, will pay Apple Music royalties

TheProf
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Unhappy

Re: Sauce for the goose, etc.

Is it safe to visit Wordpress sites? I'd like to read what you posted but I don't want to catch anything.

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FLICK my FLINT and SNIFF my TREE on the streets of Naples

TheProf
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Re: Welcome Back

Well that would be the logical answer except that I'm single and without a girlfriend.

Could it be Amazon subtlety telling me to stop enjoying myself and settle down to a life with pipe and slippers?

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TheProf
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Re: Welcome Back

Accurate profiling? So that's why Amazon has just sent me an email inviting me to sign up for regular deliveries of baby wipes.

If only I had a baby.

Or had bought baby related things in the past.

Or had even looked at baby goods.

Nope! Not me.

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Why is it that women are consistently paid less than men?

TheProf
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Unhappy

Politically incorrect

Hmm. I earn a lot less than Harriet Harman.

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Heinz cockup sees Ketchup's QR codes spurt saucy sites

TheProf
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Happy

Good work have a raise

I'm impressed with the porn employee who was smart enough to buy the expired site knowing millions* of curious ketchup users will soon QRing to see their wares.

(* millions not guaranteed.)

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Sharing Economy latest: Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

TheProf
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Devil

Watch out for fakes.

Holly: Emergency back-up supply. We're on the dog's milk.

Lister: Dog's milk?!

Holly: Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog's milk.

Lister: Why?

Holly: No bugger'll drink it. Plus, of course, the advantage of dog's milk is that when it goes off, it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.

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Employees love their IT departments (almost very nearly true)

TheProf
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Have you tried?

"employees in increasing numbers are learning how to do their own level 1 support, with 81 per cent of respondents trying to sort out their own IT issues before asking IT for help."

I've turned it off and on again.

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Women are fleeing from the digital sector, reckons UK.gov report

TheProf
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Devil

The REAL problem is

Women just aren't taken seriously.

https://www.techfuturegirls.com

Ooh it looks just like KandiKrunch and Aminal X-ing

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TERROR in ORBIT: Dodgy rocket burp biffs International Space Station off track

TheProf
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Re: 1,922 seconds?

1922 seconds? Ah, slightly over 32 minutes. Or half and hour. 1 forty-eighth of a day.

I'm just trying to get a perspective on the time.

Now let's see.....distance is...............

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HTC reflects on Champions League iPhone cock-up

TheProf
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Happy

Happens all the time

The BBC Click programme has just shown an item about the Samsung shipbuilding division.

Prominent on an engineers desk was a Panasonic Toughbook laptop.

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Paper driving licence death day: DVLA website is still TITSUP

TheProf
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Re: Are they supposed to get a new code every few days?

What about linking it to something like Google Authenticator?

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Remake, remodel: Toshiba Chromebook 2

TheProf
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Small

Why do Chromebooks mostly have screens smaller than the 'standard' 15.2"? I would have thought that using a less popular screen size would push the price up.

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Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

TheProf
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I saw the trailer

and I won't be going to see the film.

I read the review in the Sunday People (apparently it's classed as a newspaper in the UK) and they only gave it 3 out of 5. I thought they'd have enjoyed it more.

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

TheProf
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Re: Some Dutch shops..

My local ASSCO* store replaced the serve service coin funnel with a slot. It's much more fun now as the queue to use the machine grows longer and more grumpy as I put. in. the. coins.

*It could be TESDA. No, it's definitely ASSCO.

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A pause in global warming? Pah, FOOLS. There was NO PAUSE

TheProf
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Stop

Re: Lies, Damn Lies, and ...

Oh for God's sake don't be fooled into thinking politicians are idiots.

They may be liars, cheats, scoundrels, uninformed or just plain ignorant but don't let that lead you to the wrong conclusion. They may do idiotic things but they are not idiots. Idiots usually aren't that dangerous.

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Welp, PEAK GIF is upon us! Facebook now supports animated images

TheProf
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Angel

Re: Let's animate a boot!

Jebus! Lighten up. It's only animated pictures.

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Hardcore creationist finds 60-million-year-old fossils in backyard ... 'No, it hasn’t changed my mind about the Bible'

TheProf
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Angel

Food for thought

Have they found any fossilised loaves yet?

(Churchy Joes joke.)

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

TheProf
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Angel

Zebra crossing

"Ken Ham routinely dismisses findings of palaeontologists, geologists, and other scientists who look at evidence to determine what Earth must have been like before recorded history," news.com.au explained."

Creationists don't need no steenking evidence. They have FAITH. And that's where my understanding collapses. Why are they trying to PROVE the existence of The Big G?

For a fuller explanation search for 'Douglas Adams/Babel Fish.'

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Maserati Ghibli S: Who cares what Joe Walsh thinks?

TheProf
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Angel

Re: The Anti-Maserati

Hmm. The girl in the film 'Hanna' (can't remember her name) hides in a 'camper-van' and the family doesn't know she's there.

So, is there enough room in a Sienna (it might have been a VW in the film) for a young girl to hide from the family for the length of a road trip while still carrying all the usual gubbins a family requires?

(Nothing sinister, I just thought the film was a load of pants and this was one of the reasons why.)

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SpaceX signs off on another successful mission with Pacific splashdown

TheProf
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Bones

"Spaceflight-induced health changes, such as decreases in muscle and bone mass, "

I thought worms were boneless.

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Spotify smashing new media paradigms with something called ‘video’

TheProf
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Huh?

http://golferswines.com/about/about_golfers_wine/

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After #Election2015: How can we save Big Data?

TheProf
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Re: Genius

Quinoa, pronounced ‘keen-wa’.(From the BBC Good Food website.)

I'm northern and don't own a pitbull or a pigeon.

I also don't believe opinion polls.

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Starbucks denies mobile app hack, blames careless customers

TheProf
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Re: And this is why the box always must remain unticked....

From The Goons:

Bloodnok:

Now let us take the regimental oath. Open your wallets and say after me - "Help yourself".

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Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

TheProf
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Mushroom

Yawn!

(Digs out DVD of Tank Girl (Mad Max the Musical.))

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Next-gen Freeview telly won't be another disruptive 4Ker

TheProf
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Happy

Re: Maybe I'm a nit

I used Google to find out what a Nit is but without success. I'm still scratching my head.

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Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now

TheProf
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Unhappy

40 pence worth.

The BEEB costs about 40 pence a day. That's cheaper than buying a daily newspaper. The trouble I have is that the BBC produce hundreds of good quality, highly thought of TV programmes that I have no interest in watching. The few I did (until recently) enjoy have been 'dumbed down' for the worse. (I won't list the ones I liked. It'll cause arguments.)

I stopped buying and reading newspapers because I don't like what they publish. The BBC, for all their excellent programmes, have followed.

How about a slot in the top of the telly into which I could pop my 40p when I want to watch something?

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Lies, damn lies and election polls: Why GE2015 pundits fluffed the numbers so badly

TheProf
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Up the Pole!

Have I got this right?

Each Tory MP got in with 34,244 votes.

The single UKIP MP needed 3,881,129 votes, the Green MP needed 1,154,562 votes.

The SNP MPs needed 25,972?

It's not opinion polls that need changing it's the whole electoral system.

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You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

TheProf
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Out of date

Not a very critical piece El Reg. And so late to the party too.

New Scientist

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Fox gives Minority Report the nod – precog goes primetime on tellybox

TheProf
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Unhappy

New exciting direction

So the programme will have little in common with the movie which had little in common with the story it was 'based' on. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Also: Why do movie companies buy the rights to books and then turn out a film that doesn't resemble the book? 'I Robot' spring to mind. I can only watch enjoy that if I keep in mind they should have called it 'Rampaging Robots'.

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Kiwi company posts job ad for Windows support scammers

TheProf
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Re: Grandma

Thank you for the Thumb's up you nice person.

I'm feeling a lot less picky now.

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