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* Posts by TheProf

161 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

TheProf
Devil

Maybe nobody else asked.

Meanwhile, far below the throbbing Londonopolis streets in the secret headquarters of NESTA.

I say Carruthers, no-one has applied for a grant and if we don't pay out some of our budget before the end of the year we'll get the chop.

Crikey Fortescue, you absolutely right. We're doomed.

Hold on, what's that stuck to the bottom of your tea cup?

What? Oh! I say! It's a request thingy. Some woman called Lily wants two hundred-thousand pounds.

What for?

Does it matter?

WE'RE SAVED!

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Samsung slurps up full charge in 30 seconds with bio-battery

TheProf
Devil

Re: What about heat?

That's probably why there's an industrial scale cooler running just out of sight. Well what else can explain the 'wind tunnel' soundtrack?

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Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' SHINGLES

TheProf
Headmaster

That's a new one.

" pre-announced"? What, so they didn't actually 'announce' a new drive?

I hope that they soon pre-announce the availability to place a pre-order for the pre-production product.

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Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

TheProf

The Fountains of Paradise.

All we have to do now is move Sri Lanka a little further south and start work on the 'space elevator'.

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HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

TheProf
Headmaster

2010: Odyssey Two

Well as there's already life on Europa why not on Enceladus too?

(Where's the literary reference icon?)

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

TheProf

I usually forget what I went in there for if I have to hunt around for, err, whatever. Do I know you?

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Vulture wraps claws around Elgato Thunderbolt Drive+ portable SSD

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Psssst. Don't tell the Bride, but BBC Three is about to be jilted

TheProf

VFM

Actually, looking at the BBC's figures, does anyone think that BBC2 is worth almost 5 times what BBC3 costs? Or BBC1 12 times?

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TheProf
Devil

Kill off BBC3

And that's where we find the space for a mooted BBC1+.

Or the BBC could merge BBC3, CBBC, CBeebies and BBC Parliament and keep all the loud shouting confined to one channel.

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HTC One grabs BEST SMARTPHONE gong

TheProf
Devil

BEST SMARTPHONE

Is this 'Best Smartphone' in the same way that ITV is 'Channel of the Year'?

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Official: British music punter still loves plastic

TheProf

Re: Yeah no.

Of course nobody who just played CDs in a CD player had any trouble with naughty root kits.

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TheProf

Re: Not too surprised

The recent lost Doctor Who DVDs didn't have any VAM extras either. They were however in whatever the standard SD horizontal resolution is as opposed to the reduced count that iTunes pumped out. (Or so I've been informed. I'm not in a position to peer into the garden.)

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TheProf

Re: Any explanation

£8.78 at BASE.com, £9.30 at AMAZON.com. Perhaps shopping around might help you.

I do wonder why the download is £10.49 at AMAZON.

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HELL is other people ... Thousands play SAME Pokemon game on TV. Mayhem ensues

TheProf
Stop

In the words of Ned Flanders

"Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen."

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Samsung: Men, our Gear smartwatch will make you a hit with the sexy ladies

TheProf
Devil

I liked it!

The acting was as good as anything I've been forced to endure on C4/ITV/BBC.

And it was funnier than any 'comic' on same.

Well done Samsung for a wonderful parody of our vacuous society.

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MailOnline pulls recipe site after innocent young cookbook DEFILED

TheProf

Re: How is Lybia anyways?

It's this kind of insightful political reporting that is sorely missed in the mainstream media.

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XMAS SPACEWALK planned to fix ISS's dicky cooling gear

TheProf
Joke

It's a trap!

Everybody knows it's freezing cold in space so there isn't a need for a cooling system pump.

This is a ploy by HAL to get the astronauts outside while he fills their stockings with presents.

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Kiwi inventor's court win rains on Apple's parade

TheProf
Devil

The sound of money.

Intellectual Property Office of New Zealand? IPONZ?

Suspiciously close to iPonz.

LITIGATE!

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Station to station: Ten DAB-Bluetooth combo radios

TheProf
Devil

Question time

Why do these portable DAB radios consume so much power?

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Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE

TheProf

Re: Ketchup?

May I suggest a small tweak to improve your joke?

'I much prefer HP's condiments to their computers, you can take the lid off and they're truly open sauce.'

Preserves the punchline that way.

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We MUST be told: How many Bitcoins do I need to kill a melon-head?

TheProf

Re: Folding money?

That's as may be but you're 'biting' your readers with that celeb-porn site.

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TheProf
Devil

Folding money?

"The anonymity also explains why the currency has, for most of its five-year existence, been widely used by criminal gangs looking for a way to finance a trade in drugs, guns or child pornography."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2522333/Will-using-Bitcoin-buy-sex-trigger-financial-revolution--cause-digital-currency-crash-burn.html#ixzz2nN6HehKW

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Whatever did criminals do before the invention of Bitcoin?

Also, where did the second paragraph come from in the above? I just did a cut 'n' paste of the bit in quote marks.

Also also, stop linking to articles to Mail Online. It's getting beyond a joke now.

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US military's RAY-GUN truck BLASTS DRONES, mortars OUT OF THE SKY

TheProf

I like that song. By The Waterboys wasn't it?

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You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

TheProf
Devil

Burp!

Well, I like The Beastie Boys, and I also like companies that produce building "blox" in pastel colours designed to encourage girls to become engineers even if they do have illustrations on the box depicting girls as Disneyifed wide-eyed demi-princesses, but which is better?

There's only one way to find out.

LITIGATE!

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Bigger on the inside: WD’s Tardis-like Black² Dual Drive laptop disk

TheProf
Devil

HDD Caddy

I replaced my CD drive with a hard disc caddy. Now I've got a fast SSD for the operating system, a large but slow HDD for data storage and the CD drive lives in an external USB box. It very rarely gets used.

HDD caddy and CD box together cost less than £20 from a well-known tat-bizarre.

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Women crap at parking: Official

TheProf
Devil

Parking

I've just watched a woman driver fail to park her car in a perfectly adequate space between two other cars. She then proceeded to repeat the same process on the other side of the road where she finally managed to fit her car into a space exactly the same length of the one she'd previously failed with.

During her manoeuvres she was assisted by her female friend who stood on the pavement and empathically checked out her messages on the phone.

That said, most 'parking' these days seems to entail slamming two of the cars wheels over the kerb and leaving it sprawled untidily on the pavement.

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Drone expert: Amazon's hypetastic delivery scheme a pie in the sky

TheProf
Devil

Free Drone!

Great! Order a £4.99 paper-back and keep the drone. A quick hack and, what, it only runs on Amazon's 'Whispernet'?

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Samsung to spend ENTIRE budget of London 2012 OLYMPICS... on ADS

TheProf
Devil

'The South Korean firm was also slammed after contestants on reality talent show The X Factor were shown repeatedly using its products during an ad campaign it ran on ITV.'

And quite rightly so. You never see Apple products being used on television programmes.

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PS-PHWOARRR: We review Sony’s next-gen PlayStation 4

TheProf
Devil

Re: I will get one because....

Because you're worth it!

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Gold meddler: Doctor Who is 50 years old TODAY

TheProf
Happy

Box sets

Season 16: The Key to Time.

Season 23: The Trial of a Time Lord.

All your Baker needs in a couple of handy boxes.

Plus Season Paul McGann: Doctor Who The Movie.

Whole seasons but good value purchases.

Glad to be of service.

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TheProf
Happy

Re: Finally, Moffat comes up with a cracker

Agree with you wholeheartedly. Very well done by everyone involved.

I managed 7 minutes of the BBC3 thing before playing episode 1 of The Enemy Of The World. Black and white Doctor Who is so much better than watching screaming idiots trying to look cool.

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Ultimate Doctor Tom Baker REGENERATES, RETURNS to WHO

TheProf

Re: RT

Looks more like a 'Dimensions In Time' image. I'm sure Tom's a bit more 'upholstered' these days.

The Colin Baker cover looks out of time too.

Maybe it's a Baker thing.

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Lumia 1520: Our man screams into ENORMO new Nokia phondleslab

TheProf

What is it?

Not quite pinned a name down yet have you?

'You can say phablet, we prefer “phondleslab”.'

Also called in the article:

pocket-busters

slab

specialised device

smartphone

6-inch tablet.

Maybe we could just call these things by their size. i.e. 5-inch phone, 8-inch tablet etc.

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3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?

TheProf
Happy

Re: They have some serious uses

How on earth did they fit a 3D printer in her mouth?

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XBOX One SHOT DEAD by Redmond following delivery blunder

TheProf

Re: Why on earth did he even try to use it?

Maybe he is one of those 'idiots' who'd pay silly amounts of money to get one early.

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Doctor Who nicked my plot and all I got was a mention in this lousy feature

TheProf

Stolen Ideas

Yeah! And this whole article is stolen from the pages of Doctor Who Magazine.

Forbidden Planet: Stolen from Shakespeare's 'The Tempest'. And Morbuis wasn't a mad scientist he was a mad linguist. (I often wonder why a 'master of languages and their meanings' [thanks wikipedia] is on the crew to colonise a planet.)

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Australia hobbles self in tech tax chase

TheProf
Joke

Any relation to

Joe Six-pack?

(Sorry, it just sprang to mind and annoyed me so I decided to share it.)

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Ten top stories from Classic Doctor Who

TheProf

Re: "his loathing of violence and force"

He didn't. He was stopped from killing the cave-man by Ian Chesterton.

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Big Beardie's watching: Alan Sugar robots spy on Tesco petrol queue

TheProf
Facepalm

I like it!

Going on what TV adverts are like, what are they going to show to that long queue of men? Alcohol? Nope. Cigarettes? Nope. Nuts magazine? No. Razor blades? Yes, Tesco can still sell them to motorists. Well until the 'Radical Mothers' get them banned because children can hurt themselves on the sharp edges.

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Do+ you+ use+ Google+? Seemingly+ you+ DO+

TheProf
Happy

That was no lady, that was my wife!

Boom-boom.

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Payday loan firms are the WORST. Ugh, my mobe's FILLED with filthy SPAM

TheProf
Headmaster

They did what?

"The Premiership is back! Get up to £50 FREE BET on the weekends Football with [REDACTED]. Click [REDACTED] Today! text STOP to 66644 to opt-out [sic]"

These people sent a txt with "[sic]" as the last word? Oh, they didn't. So why have you put "[sic]" inside the quotation marks?

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Call me maybe: Orange loses a segment as competition bites

TheProf
Unhappy

The difficult second paragraph

I can't make any sense out of the second paragraph. Help!

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MS Word deserves DEATH says Brit SciFi author Charles Stross

TheProf
Devil

Real authors

Don't real authors use portable Remington typewriters?

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Leaping SpaceX GRASSHOPPER ROCKET jumps 2,500ft, lands safely

TheProf
Mushroom

Re: FAB!

Or TB3. I (think I) remember seeing TB3 return to base. Alan has to get the craft back through the opening in the torus-shaped building. At least Scott had a swimming pool he could dump on the flaming wreckage should he get the landing wrong.

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Universal's High Fidelity Pure Audio trickles onto Blighty’s Blu-Ray hi-fis

TheProf
Angel

VFM

Hmm.

Amazon are charging (at the time of this post) £10 for The Rolling Stones: GRRR! [Blu-Ray Audio] and £12.49 for the MP3.

I'd go for the Blu-Ray.

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Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED

TheProf

Re: There's a very simple cure

"Can I get cashback from the self-service machine? No? I wait in this queue thanks."

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Doctor Who to land on the BIG SCREEN and in 3D in November

TheProf
Happy

Re: Nice, except...

Sir,

I admire your dedication to this rather silly television show. Not only watching TV at at 4AM but taking a day off work to boot.

I hope the 3D-Blu-ray is released promptly to fulfil your tri-dimensions desire.

I'm planning to disconnect the phone and have a cup of tea while I watch it.

ITV Granada? Good grief!

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

TheProf
Happy

Re: Personally if i was spreading a virus

" the Idiot Noisebox they call Beiber."

So you are acquainted with his ourve.

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Hands on, er, heads on: We take a gander at Sony's gaming goggles

TheProf
Meh

It's a calling

Bob Dormon, please keep the obsequiousness out of your future reviews. It's not your job to just blithely regurgitate the Sony press release. I, for one, would like to know what you really felt about this device. Is it a ground-breaking, metaphor-mixing leap forward or just another technological blind-alley?

Also, do you leave the light on when you sleep at night?

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