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* Posts by TheProf

182 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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'Duck face' selfie in SPAAAACE: Rosetta's snap with bird comet

TheProf

Re: Of course, there's one important question...

Good point. I believe NASA made all or at least some of their 'space photographs' public domain. Considering these are 'commissioned' using money from the public purse I'd hope that 'we' own the copyright.

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Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch

TheProf

At the third stroke

"When you get down to it, lifting your wrist to your face is not much more convenient than reaching into a pocket."

When I get down to it, yes it is. Reading my wristwatch is easy. If I'm standing it's left arm up, glance at analogue display, left arm down. I'm typing this on my laptop and I can see the display if I just tilt my head to the left.

If my phone is in my pocket it's reach into pocket, extract slippery phone, rotate phone around several times to put the screen at the front and the power button on the left, press the power button, wait for that slight delay while it fires up and then read the time. Put phone back in pocket.

Still it's not as if people get mugged flashing expensive phones in public.

Oh and the Apple watch looks boring.

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iPHONEY: Fake iPhone 6 images splattered over Chinese internet

TheProf

Re: The gentleman's thumb may simply be protecting his own career...............

He's just holding it wrong.

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Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'

TheProf
Facepalm

Re: Can't wait to miss that

Oh it was awful. Cruise fights of a dozen jet-pack wearing cattle prod wielding coppers. Cruise fights off a bunch of heavies in a car factory while big scary spot welding robots build a car about him which he drives off in at the end of the fight. The murderer tips his hand by not passing off the vital clue as a glitch in the precog system but instead contrives a whole conspiracy to get Cruise off the case.

They put people in SUSPENDED ANIMATION as a PUNISHMENT. (See also Tek Wars and some Stallone movie.) It was worse than I Robot!

Now the short story was effing brilliant.

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

TheProf

Scanning Photodisk

Full frame camera with a macro lens. It won't be cheap.

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Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

TheProf

Re: Anyone can play!

Your grammar is too good.

Murdoch worse than ebola.

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Check your Clungene, Irish women warned

TheProf

I thought it came from the BBC TV programme "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin" (1970's). I remember it being used by a Scottish gardener as in 'Up yer clunge!'

I also expect to be corrected for getting this whole memory wrong.

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BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash

TheProf
Happy

Nice

Nice to see something on here that isn't asking for crowdfunding.

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Orange spent weekend spamming customers with TXTs

TheProf

Re: Pah, at least they're Orange customers

I ported my number to T-Mobile from Orange too. I don't get these Magic Number texts but I do get offers to buy tickets for shows. I tried texting the 'stop annoying me you feckers' number but was informed that it wasn't available from my number!

I'm currently enjoying a borked attempt to transfer my number to Vodafone. Will I continue to be one of Orange's favoured customers?

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When the robot rebellion comes, this Jibo droid will BORE you to death

TheProf
Devil

I like it

And I shall buy one for all my facebook friends.

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Google Glass faces UK cinema ban: Heaven forbid someone films you crying in a rom-com

TheProf
Pirate

Yar!

The last* 'pirated' film I watched was The King's Speech and it had a notice that appeared at the bottom of the screen at regular intervals informing me that it was the property of XYZ film company©®.

The image and sound were excellent. Obviously the copy had been made from a digital source before the film hit the cinemas. I doubt a ban on wobbly head-mounted cameras will do much to stem the tide of hooky dvds.

*Out of two in total. The King's Speech was good but I wouldn't have paid to see it. Not my kind of film. The first was Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I paid nothing to watch it but still felt cheated!

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

TheProf
FAIL

String 'em up.

If they just dump the drugs in the yard for the inmates to pick up (what are the guards doing?) why not use a trebuchet? Much classier if you arrange for the Sealed Knot to be performing in the area.

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Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

TheProf
Happy

Not worried

I can still access the Scrabble app through my tablet.

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YOU'RE HISTORY: Ancestry.com goes titsup for TWO DAYS

TheProf
Facepalm

Bloody men!

"I bet all those dads are the real reason behind the attacks just like the attacks that happen every single Christmas," one woman wrote.

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

TheProf

Re: There is very little doubt

Your surround sound is only 7.1? Pth!

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UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

TheProf
Flame

twas ever thus

I know it used to be that industrial-size gas users were offered a discount on their bill if they signed up to a 'lights out' agreement. This was the case when I joined the industry in 1979. These new measures seem to be a continuation of that agreement.

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Fantastic fantasy four-way fling – and family-friendly fun

TheProf
WTF?

Eh?

Who's in the what now?

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Laser deflector shields possible with today's tech – but there's one small problem

TheProf

Ummm

Has anyone built a powerful enough laser to warrant the use of shields? Or a spaceship that needs shielding?

Sorry if the answer was in the video but it was so boring.......

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Denmark dynamited by cunning American Minecraft vandals

TheProf
Unhappy

The Doctor says....

"Sad really, isn't it? People spend all their time making nice things, and other people come along and break them."

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French software developers are all beautiful women

TheProf
Devil

The worst thing in the world.

Is this going to spark off a 'Twitterstorm'? I do enjoy reading about them.

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

TheProf
Devil

Maybe nobody else asked.

Meanwhile, far below the throbbing Londonopolis streets in the secret headquarters of NESTA.

I say Carruthers, no-one has applied for a grant and if we don't pay out some of our budget before the end of the year we'll get the chop.

Crikey Fortescue, you absolutely right. We're doomed.

Hold on, what's that stuck to the bottom of your tea cup?

What? Oh! I say! It's a request thingy. Some woman called Lily wants two hundred-thousand pounds.

What for?

Does it matter?

WE'RE SAVED!

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Samsung slurps up full charge in 30 seconds with bio-battery

TheProf
Devil

Re: What about heat?

That's probably why there's an industrial scale cooler running just out of sight. Well what else can explain the 'wind tunnel' soundtrack?

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Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' SHINGLES

TheProf
Headmaster

That's a new one.

" pre-announced"? What, so they didn't actually 'announce' a new drive?

I hope that they soon pre-announce the availability to place a pre-order for the pre-production product.

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Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

TheProf

The Fountains of Paradise.

All we have to do now is move Sri Lanka a little further south and start work on the 'space elevator'.

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HIDDEN OCEAN of LIVING SOUP found on Enceladus, moon of Saturn

TheProf
Headmaster

2010: Odyssey Two

Well as there's already life on Europa why not on Enceladus too?

(Where's the literary reference icon?)

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

TheProf

I usually forget what I went in there for if I have to hunt around for, err, whatever. Do I know you?

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Vulture wraps claws around Elgato Thunderbolt Drive+ portable SSD

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Psssst. Don't tell the Bride, but BBC Three is about to be jilted

TheProf

VFM

Actually, looking at the BBC's figures, does anyone think that BBC2 is worth almost 5 times what BBC3 costs? Or BBC1 12 times?

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TheProf
Devil

Kill off BBC3

And that's where we find the space for a mooted BBC1+.

Or the BBC could merge BBC3, CBBC, CBeebies and BBC Parliament and keep all the loud shouting confined to one channel.

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HTC One grabs BEST SMARTPHONE gong

TheProf
Devil

BEST SMARTPHONE

Is this 'Best Smartphone' in the same way that ITV is 'Channel of the Year'?

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Official: British music punter still loves plastic

TheProf

Re: Yeah no.

Of course nobody who just played CDs in a CD player had any trouble with naughty root kits.

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TheProf

Re: Not too surprised

The recent lost Doctor Who DVDs didn't have any VAM extras either. They were however in whatever the standard SD horizontal resolution is as opposed to the reduced count that iTunes pumped out. (Or so I've been informed. I'm not in a position to peer into the garden.)

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TheProf

Re: Any explanation

£8.78 at BASE.com, £9.30 at AMAZON.com. Perhaps shopping around might help you.

I do wonder why the download is £10.49 at AMAZON.

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HELL is other people ... Thousands play SAME Pokemon game on TV. Mayhem ensues

TheProf
Stop

In the words of Ned Flanders

"Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy & Chimpy I've ever seen."

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Samsung: Men, our Gear smartwatch will make you a hit with the sexy ladies

TheProf
Devil

I liked it!

The acting was as good as anything I've been forced to endure on C4/ITV/BBC.

And it was funnier than any 'comic' on same.

Well done Samsung for a wonderful parody of our vacuous society.

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MailOnline pulls recipe site after innocent young cookbook DEFILED

TheProf

Re: How is Lybia anyways?

It's this kind of insightful political reporting that is sorely missed in the mainstream media.

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XMAS SPACEWALK planned to fix ISS's dicky cooling gear

TheProf
Joke

It's a trap!

Everybody knows it's freezing cold in space so there isn't a need for a cooling system pump.

This is a ploy by HAL to get the astronauts outside while he fills their stockings with presents.

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Kiwi inventor's court win rains on Apple's parade

TheProf
Devil

The sound of money.

Intellectual Property Office of New Zealand? IPONZ?

Suspiciously close to iPonz.

LITIGATE!

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Station to station: Ten DAB-Bluetooth combo radios

TheProf
Devil

Question time

Why do these portable DAB radios consume so much power?

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Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE

TheProf

Re: Ketchup?

May I suggest a small tweak to improve your joke?

'I much prefer HP's condiments to their computers, you can take the lid off and they're truly open sauce.'

Preserves the punchline that way.

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We MUST be told: How many Bitcoins do I need to kill a melon-head?

TheProf

Re: Folding money?

That's as may be but you're 'biting' your readers with that celeb-porn site.

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TheProf
Devil

Folding money?

"The anonymity also explains why the currency has, for most of its five-year existence, been widely used by criminal gangs looking for a way to finance a trade in drugs, guns or child pornography."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2522333/Will-using-Bitcoin-buy-sex-trigger-financial-revolution--cause-digital-currency-crash-burn.html#ixzz2nN6HehKW

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Whatever did criminals do before the invention of Bitcoin?

Also, where did the second paragraph come from in the above? I just did a cut 'n' paste of the bit in quote marks.

Also also, stop linking to articles to Mail Online. It's getting beyond a joke now.

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US military's RAY-GUN truck BLASTS DRONES, mortars OUT OF THE SKY

TheProf

I like that song. By The Waterboys wasn't it?

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You gotta fight for your copyright ... Beastie Boys sue toymaker over TV ad

TheProf
Devil

Burp!

Well, I like The Beastie Boys, and I also like companies that produce building "blox" in pastel colours designed to encourage girls to become engineers even if they do have illustrations on the box depicting girls as Disneyifed wide-eyed demi-princesses, but which is better?

There's only one way to find out.

LITIGATE!

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Bigger on the inside: WD’s Tardis-like Black² Dual Drive laptop disk

TheProf
Devil

HDD Caddy

I replaced my CD drive with a hard disc caddy. Now I've got a fast SSD for the operating system, a large but slow HDD for data storage and the CD drive lives in an external USB box. It very rarely gets used.

HDD caddy and CD box together cost less than £20 from a well-known tat-bizarre.

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Women crap at parking: Official

TheProf
Devil

Parking

I've just watched a woman driver fail to park her car in a perfectly adequate space between two other cars. She then proceeded to repeat the same process on the other side of the road where she finally managed to fit her car into a space exactly the same length of the one she'd previously failed with.

During her manoeuvres she was assisted by her female friend who stood on the pavement and empathically checked out her messages on the phone.

That said, most 'parking' these days seems to entail slamming two of the cars wheels over the kerb and leaving it sprawled untidily on the pavement.

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Drone expert: Amazon's hypetastic delivery scheme a pie in the sky

TheProf
Devil

Free Drone!

Great! Order a £4.99 paper-back and keep the drone. A quick hack and, what, it only runs on Amazon's 'Whispernet'?

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Samsung to spend ENTIRE budget of London 2012 OLYMPICS... on ADS

TheProf
Devil

'The South Korean firm was also slammed after contestants on reality talent show The X Factor were shown repeatedly using its products during an ad campaign it ran on ITV.'

And quite rightly so. You never see Apple products being used on television programmes.

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