384 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008
I do. Honestly!
Of course it's the people calling in who should be talking like robots.
Caller: Extension three please.
Robot: Did you say 'eggs pens and peas?'
Blu-Tack, double sided sticky tape, self adhesive velcro tape, hot glue, Bostik, nails.
There's a world of solutions out there.
"God I'm old."
But you have great taste in eccentric actresses.
"They couldn't turn it on at 100% Design because the cable was too short to reach the socket".
Cable length is a common review complaint on Amazon.
I can't remember what the item was but one reviewer knocked a point off because 'the cable was to short to reach the socket', the next knocked a point off because 'the cable was much to long.'
Handy Hint: If the cable is too short, move your appliance closer to the socket. If the cable is too long, buy a new house with bigger rooms.
I occasionally have trouble with razor-blade labels in clothing but I don't use scissors to cut them out. That just leaves a very short annoying label behind.
I use a seam unpicker to, err, unpick the seam. It takes a little bit longer but the end result is smooth fabric.
My recent purchase of M&S Hipsters (I know! I don't even have a beard.) had a 'heat sealed label for minimal irritation'.
"....a dirt-cheap phone."
I must have missed that. I recall the incredibly overpriced model with the '3D' effect screen that no-one wanted.
A stick covered in piss.
Seriously why did you bother with this 'story'? There aren't even any twatter quotes.
“But theft is still theft, even if it's dressed up as some sort of digital Robin Hood act. You're not just interfering with pixels, you're interfering with business.”
You OWN ME for long load time, headache inducing flashing adverts, loud unexpected unwanted audio, stealing bandwidth and CPU time.
Plus that fucking 'Wirral housewife earns £10000000000 an hour using this one weird trick'.
NO SHE FUCKING DOESN'T!
I wear reading glasses so they rarely fall off except when I lean over the back of the TV/monitor/stack of books etc. Then they have a tendency to leave the vicinity of my face. In such circumstances I am not usually wielding a mobile phone.
What spectacles need is a sticky pad on the bridge of the nose.
On the subject of 'smart' glasses isn't it about time we had auto-focus lenses that could determine what the wearer is looking at and alter the diopter to match the distance?
Some of the best stories ever?
Remembrance of the Daleks
The Curse of Fenric
All a matter of taste admittedly. Viewed in a sympathetic way, Survival was the template for NuWho.
It's all very well saying 'Tom Baker was brilliant and everyone else was rubbish' but have you actually watched all the Tom Baker stuff? I mean really watched it?
While he did make the part his own, I'd say he was the definitive Doctor, he did do some bloody awful stories and his acting to the camera in some of them is downright embarrassing.
Each of the actors have brought something special to the role and to point at one and say 'you're the worst' is, frankly, in poor taste.
Plus you're really going to have a lot of actors who won't be giving you the time of day after this. See Doctor Who Magazine no. 489 for how 'upset' some actors can get about this sort of thing.
I worked for a company that ran an 'innovative ideas' scam, sorry, scheme along those lines.
If you had a brilliant idea to save the company money all you had to do was cost analyse to the last penny the whole project and you'd get (up to) 10% (up to some limit obviously) of the money saved in the first year after implementation costs were deducted .
Your idea's saving the company £10 million p.a. in subsequent years? Nothing for you, sucka!
"Roach has made such suggestions before."
Well it's given you the opportunity to publish the phrase 'poo-flinging' again.
"my date’s mother looked like Bugs Bunny in a dress."
I wish some of the dates I've had were that good looking.
But almost as good are his sensible black socks and plimsolls.
Well ElReg has to keep us ad watchers happy.
This will work out well for Sony and possibly other companies too.
They produce music CDs. They produce blank CDs and they produce the CD drives used to burn the copies of the music they produced in the first place. For which they will receive compensation.
"Photocopying it at least preserves the content beyond the original fading."
It does but by this time we had the modern marvel that is inkjet faxes.
(A quick Google later) Hey, they still make fax machines. Who'da thunk it?
"I thought they were bar coding them."
Well that explains why 'everyone' is covered in tattoos these days.
I worked for an office manager who printed off all, ALL!, of his internal email (this was the late 90's before proper email took off) and had the 'trainee' file them away in standard filing 4 drawer cabinets. I think he had six cabinets because, of course, the email was cross referenced something like this:
One copy for internal staff related matters.
One copy for agency staff related matters.
One copy for health and safety related matters.
One copy because it concerned an external supplier.
Someone getting a paper-cut from some Niceday printer paper could trigger an avalanche of nasty finger cutting paper memos.
The cabinets filled up in weeks.
Oh, he photocopied faxes and filed them too.
" Just don't expect to be able to spend them online... useful."
Yes I keep having that trouble but with £5 notes. I've tried keying in the serial numbers but NOT ONE webtailer (is that a word?) will accept payment that way.
We need a song icon!
"lane departure warning – which is annoying"
My Skoda gives a very gentle, relaxing almost, 'bing' sound when the outdoor temperature is likely to result in an icy road, and a strident 'BEEEEEPP' when the screen washer bottle is low. And I don't think they can be switched around or off.
Personally I think anything that helps stop lumbering great lumps of iron from wandering about the lanes on a motorway is a good thing.
There's a McDonald's poster near my house that's been spray painted with 'Support the Refugees'.
I for one am glad that someone is taking the time to bring these matters to the attention of the world and her fat hungry family.
"US Department of Homeland Security special agent Susan Ruiz "
Erm, isn't their job "protecting the territory of the United States and protectorates from and responding to terrorist attacks, man-made accidents, and natural disasters." wiki
They'll have Marvel: Agents of Shield handing out parking tickets next.
Just watched the video on their webpage. They ask 'and what if your phone wasn't pre-loaded with battery draining apps?' Then they boast that 'what if your phone comes with Audio FX as standard?'
Well can I have a Cyanogen phone WITHOUT AFX? No? Bugger!
Still it looks worth a punt. I'm in.
I keep reading about the need for rural businesses, usually farmers are mentioned, to have high-speed internet access.
My question is what advantage would a farmer have with a, say, 50 Mbps connection over a 10Mbps connection?
I always wondered why the crew of the USS Enterprise never wore noise-cancelling headphones. The background hum would drive me mad in a few hours. Ditto the TARDIS.
Unless everyone on board had tinnitus and the hum was used as a masking sound.
As long as the idea flies and not the defenestrated celebrities.
I've come to dislike the C word too but I think calling them 'people' is just a step too far.
The idea is quite simple, as indeed are the celebrities.
Celebrities are trained how to parachute. At the end of the hilarious week a pair of celebrities are strapped back-to-back, each being told that the celebrity on their back is their 'Celebrity Parachute.'
Then they get chucked out of an aircraft.
(Quite right: too much use of the word celebrity.)
" the shower we've had for the last 60 years in the mens game?"
No wonder they're rubbish if they've had the same team for the past 60 years.
Actually 60 years would be from 1955 to now. I'm assuming England when you say 'the shower'; they won the world cup in 1966.
"persons of the contradictory gender." You mean the distaff side.
Three legs are stable. It's four-legged bar stools you want to treat with caution.
NICE? CLUB? TWIX? Come on, gimme a break here.
Video Audio Input Output
It's nice to know that the local park has plenty of indoor 4G coverage. That must be why the council is trying to flog off a swathe of it for new housing.
" the Cortana/Search box which takes up substantial taskbar space"
Or you could go to Taskbar/Properties and check 'use small icons' and reduce the search box to a magnifying glass icon.
Just tried Classic Shell. That's definitely going on my dad's laptop.
"It plays at 33rpm " I bet it also plays at 45rpm and 78rpm.
The correct speed would be thirty-three and one third revolutions per minute. It's Imperial.
Hence the use of the word 'brain'. Touché.
I always feel more like a resource.
Dammit! I clicked.
Another O News story.
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."
I almost down-voted you for your shocking lack of invective.
However you're a 'let's try it first' kind of chap so, up-vote!
Apple Music just fucking sucks and millennials (and their darned digital literacy)
"disappointing to see the memory card slot limited to 32GB cards, so you can’t cart around a large music or video collection."
Perhaps one could carry more music/video on a second card and switch them as required. You know, because, removable memory.