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* Posts by TheProf

209 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Boffins train robots to pull apart LCD screens – without breaking them

TheProf
Mushroom

Re: Eh?

Another boring YouTube video. Why don't these boffins* learn to edit before they post? Do we really need to see the robot make half a dozen attempts to take the back off a monitor? Show it cutting once and move on.

(I only watched the first 2 minutes so please don't tell me if helicopters arrive and Hellfire the monitor into oblivion in the third reel.)

*Not just boffins. A twenty minute video of unboxing a phone/camera/Batman statuette? AGGH!

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Lame phone dodgers fleece finance's foolish and fat fingered

TheProf
Devil

Sorry wrong number

"If they pick up and claim to be your organisation, well then it's pretty-well certain they're fraudsters and you should call your telco."

Yeah and they're using numbers pretty close to your telco's so don't misdial.

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You know those WEIRD glass sheds in New York? They'll be replaced with Gbps WiFi

TheProf
Headmaster

Re: New jobs?

Can I suggest 'buggy-whip makers'? Unless they are riddled with bugs in which case carry on!

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Pics in SPAAAACE!: Hasselblad sells for $275,000

TheProf
Devil

Re: I still remember taking my first shot with a Hasselblad

Ha! I managed to jam one up at a photo show. The 'Blad rep gave me the 'your'e not doing it right you doofus' look. He then couldn't turn the crank and had to dismantle the thing to fix whatever I'd done to his battleship.

Later on that day I upset a Leica rep by telling him his very expensive SLR made a hell of a lot more noise than I'd expect for the price.

Ahh those were the days. Complain about noisy digital cameras and they tell you it comes out in the Photoshop wash!

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I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm

TheProf
Angel

Re: @Sorry that

I take it you've not read 'The Female Eunuch' then?

Ms Greer's (all praise her name) 'feminist' does not want equality with men for that requires women to fit into the mould created by man.

Ms Greer's (all praise her name) 'feminism' decrees that society should be torn down and rebuilt in the image of woman.

Equality doesn't enter into it.

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Assassin's Creed bugs shift setting to LSD-drenched 1960s Paris

TheProf
Happy

Wrong game

Surely this it a promo for an Inception video game.

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BOUNCY BOUNCY: Comet probot Philae landed TWICE

TheProf

"I do think that the press coverage of all this is a tad light. "

I agree but 'news' today is more about human interest stories. Sky News did 15 minutes at 7 o'clock which surprised me. Firstly because it was Sky and secondly that I actively sought it out because the BBC were doing a very serious piece from Lebanon. Or Syria. Or Jordan. I forget which.

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Patch Windows boxes NOW – unless you want to be owned by a web page or network packet

TheProf

Re: EMET

Oh yes I missed the ElReg article. They should have put a more enticing headline and picture on it.

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TheProf
Happy

Re: EMET

Thank you commentards. I updated EMET to 5.1 and IE now runs.

So why wasn't EMET automatically updated? Oh yes, Microsoft blah blah blah!

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TheProf

EMET

IE crashes for me too. It appears to run OK in Safe Mode were one can disable all those lovely plug-ins etc. Doesn't help me. It still crashes on full fat windows 7

EMET may be catching something but I don't know if it's bad or just bad code.

** EMET 5.0: EMET detected EAF+(GuardPage) mitigation and will close the application :IEXPLORE.EXE **

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ESA sends back PRE-LANDING COMET CLOSE-UPS

TheProf
Devil

Re: First Hand?

I hope her review is more positive than the ones she gave Doctor Who.

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Interstellar: An awesome sci-fi spectacle – just cut the hamminess, please

TheProf
Happy

Re: Can i suggest...

Damn! I've got the theme from The Black Hole stuck in my head. I'll have to excavate the DVD and watch it now.

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Microsoft warns of super-sized Patch Tuesday next week

TheProf
Go

Damnned if you do

Microsoft is fixing problems in it's programs. Is this not good news?

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

TheProf
Devil

DJ*

I have to replete, reseat, re-pleat, repeat a lot of words before Google or Cortana understand me so I can imagine the fun I'd have shouting instructions at Alexa.

Having said that I just tried Google and Cortana with 'Show me a map to Fazakerley' and they both understood what I said and made a fair stab at pronouncing 'Fazakerley'. I can't see Alexa being very good with maps however.

*The DJ title is because over the years I've never heard a non-Liverpudlian DJ correctly pronounce the name. Of course it doesn't come up that often but I put that down to said DJs binning requests from that area.

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Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks

TheProf

Re: 'Normal Collier'?

Yes it s ould be Norman. My typing is subject to sud en dropo ts and less t an pe fect err r cor ecti n.

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TheProf
Devil

You call is brrrrrrrrrrrrr

At least one network can't even hand over a call from England to Wales.

A friend of mine regularly calls me as he drives across the border and we usually have a LOS as he does so. The sound quality starts to 'Dalek' then it goes 'Normal Collier' then it's dial tone time. How we laugh every time it happens.

I can't remember which network he's with but it doesn't matter, they're all rubbish aren't they.

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Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD STANDS

TheProf
Devil

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

You mean to tell it's not just Sony who make electronic goods?

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BBC clamps down on ILLICIT iPlayer watchers

TheProf
Unhappy

Still available

get_iplayer still works but the search and PVR functions are broken. If you want to access iPlayer programmes you now have to manually search iPlayer and plug the resulting pid code into get-iplayer. It's a fiddly workaround but it works.

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Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO

TheProf

Always nice to read a cogent opinion.

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Slap for SnapChat web app in SNAP mishap: '200,000' snaps sapped

TheProf

Re: A question

"Couldn't be arsed reading the rest of your nonsense..."

Ooh! Have we had a bad day Dear?

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Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon

TheProf
Mushroom

The end

I'm hoping that the finale ties this disappointing (so far) season up with a brilliant 'ah, it all makes sense now' moment. There was a shot near the end when Capaldi's expression altered enough to signal, to me, that there was something deeper going on.

As for Kill The Moon...It's the first time I felt the characters were in any danger of dying. That the monster was a legitimate threat. But, once again, the story at times felt rushed or slow, usually in the wrong place.

Loved the new design space suits. The moon base looked good from the outside and the black Lanzarote sand made for an interesting moonscape.

It was the first episode in which Danny Pink hasn't annoyed me! Well not as much.

It looks like it's just us who aren't enjoying Who.

http://www.sfx.co.uk/2014/10/04/doctor-who-8-07-kill-the-moon-review/

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Our Vultures peck at new Doctor Who: Exterminate or, er ... carrion?

TheProf
Facepalm

Re: Another transformation?

I agree! Because putting a woman in charge has never, ever, been a wrong move.

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IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS

TheProf
Devil

But

What he says could right, if a little 'alarmist'. Just because he has a 'dubious' reputation doesn't mean his message is false.

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Move over, Apple Pay: Tesco trials PayQwiq phone-flash pay app

TheProf
Devil

Re: Sounds like a non starter

I always use cash at those 'you do all the hard work, we pick up the profit' tills. They're great for getting rid of a pound or two in loose copper.

Yes it is me causing the long queue of people waiting to pay. The supermarkets have changed the coin input from a hopper to a slot. It now takes ages putting the pennies in one at a time.

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Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

TheProf
Trollface

They're fake!

I don't believe conspiracy theorists exist.

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TheProf
Happy

Re: models

Silver miniskirts? You're thinking of UFO. And so am I.

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

TheProf

Re: Oxymoron alert!

If they really want to piss people off, Coldplay.

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'Duck face' selfie in SPAAAACE: Rosetta's snap with bird comet

TheProf

Re: Of course, there's one important question...

Good point. I believe NASA made all or at least some of their 'space photographs' public domain. Considering these are 'commissioned' using money from the public purse I'd hope that 'we' own the copyright.

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Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch

TheProf

At the third stroke

"When you get down to it, lifting your wrist to your face is not much more convenient than reaching into a pocket."

When I get down to it, yes it is. Reading my wristwatch is easy. If I'm standing it's left arm up, glance at analogue display, left arm down. I'm typing this on my laptop and I can see the display if I just tilt my head to the left.

If my phone is in my pocket it's reach into pocket, extract slippery phone, rotate phone around several times to put the screen at the front and the power button on the left, press the power button, wait for that slight delay while it fires up and then read the time. Put phone back in pocket.

Still it's not as if people get mugged flashing expensive phones in public.

Oh and the Apple watch looks boring.

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iPHONEY: Fake iPhone 6 images splattered over Chinese internet

TheProf

Re: The gentleman's thumb may simply be protecting his own career...............

He's just holding it wrong.

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Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'

TheProf
Facepalm

Re: Can't wait to miss that

Oh it was awful. Cruise fights of a dozen jet-pack wearing cattle prod wielding coppers. Cruise fights off a bunch of heavies in a car factory while big scary spot welding robots build a car about him which he drives off in at the end of the fight. The murderer tips his hand by not passing off the vital clue as a glitch in the precog system but instead contrives a whole conspiracy to get Cruise off the case.

They put people in SUSPENDED ANIMATION as a PUNISHMENT. (See also Tek Wars and some Stallone movie.) It was worse than I Robot!

Now the short story was effing brilliant.

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

TheProf

Scanning Photodisk

Full frame camera with a macro lens. It won't be cheap.

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Rupert Murdoch says Google is worse than the NSA

TheProf

Re: Anyone can play!

Your grammar is too good.

Murdoch worse than ebola.

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Check your Clungene, Irish women warned

TheProf

I thought it came from the BBC TV programme "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin" (1970's). I remember it being used by a Scottish gardener as in 'Up yer clunge!'

I also expect to be corrected for getting this whole memory wrong.

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BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash

TheProf
Happy

Nice

Nice to see something on here that isn't asking for crowdfunding.

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Orange spent weekend spamming customers with TXTs

TheProf

Re: Pah, at least they're Orange customers

I ported my number to T-Mobile from Orange too. I don't get these Magic Number texts but I do get offers to buy tickets for shows. I tried texting the 'stop annoying me you feckers' number but was informed that it wasn't available from my number!

I'm currently enjoying a borked attempt to transfer my number to Vodafone. Will I continue to be one of Orange's favoured customers?

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When the robot rebellion comes, this Jibo droid will BORE you to death

TheProf
Devil

I like it

And I shall buy one for all my facebook friends.

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Google Glass faces UK cinema ban: Heaven forbid someone films you crying in a rom-com

TheProf
Pirate

Yar!

The last* 'pirated' film I watched was The King's Speech and it had a notice that appeared at the bottom of the screen at regular intervals informing me that it was the property of XYZ film company©®.

The image and sound were excellent. Obviously the copy had been made from a digital source before the film hit the cinemas. I doubt a ban on wobbly head-mounted cameras will do much to stem the tide of hooky dvds.

*Out of two in total. The King's Speech was good but I wouldn't have paid to see it. Not my kind of film. The first was Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. I paid nothing to watch it but still felt cheated!

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

TheProf
FAIL

String 'em up.

If they just dump the drugs in the yard for the inmates to pick up (what are the guards doing?) why not use a trebuchet? Much classier if you arrange for the Sealed Knot to be performing in the area.

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Facebook goes TITSUP across WORLD! Who will look at your cousin's baby NOW?

TheProf
Happy

Not worried

I can still access the Scrabble app through my tablet.

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YOU'RE HISTORY: Ancestry.com goes titsup for TWO DAYS

TheProf
Facepalm

Bloody men!

"I bet all those dads are the real reason behind the attacks just like the attacks that happen every single Christmas," one woman wrote.

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Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

TheProf

Re: There is very little doubt

Your surround sound is only 7.1? Pth!

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UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

TheProf
Flame

twas ever thus

I know it used to be that industrial-size gas users were offered a discount on their bill if they signed up to a 'lights out' agreement. This was the case when I joined the industry in 1979. These new measures seem to be a continuation of that agreement.

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Fantastic fantasy four-way fling – and family-friendly fun

TheProf
WTF?

Eh?

Who's in the what now?

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Laser deflector shields possible with today's tech – but there's one small problem

TheProf

Ummm

Has anyone built a powerful enough laser to warrant the use of shields? Or a spaceship that needs shielding?

Sorry if the answer was in the video but it was so boring.......

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Denmark dynamited by cunning American Minecraft vandals

TheProf
Unhappy

The Doctor says....

"Sad really, isn't it? People spend all their time making nice things, and other people come along and break them."

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French software developers are all beautiful women

TheProf
Devil

The worst thing in the world.

Is this going to spark off a 'Twitterstorm'? I do enjoy reading about them.

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

TheProf
Devil

Maybe nobody else asked.

Meanwhile, far below the throbbing Londonopolis streets in the secret headquarters of NESTA.

I say Carruthers, no-one has applied for a grant and if we don't pay out some of our budget before the end of the year we'll get the chop.

Crikey Fortescue, you absolutely right. We're doomed.

Hold on, what's that stuck to the bottom of your tea cup?

What? Oh! I say! It's a request thingy. Some woman called Lily wants two hundred-thousand pounds.

What for?

Does it matter?

WE'RE SAVED!

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Samsung slurps up full charge in 30 seconds with bio-battery

TheProf
Devil

Re: What about heat?

That's probably why there's an industrial scale cooler running just out of sight. Well what else can explain the 'wind tunnel' soundtrack?

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