* Posts by TheProf

290 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

TheProf
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Angel

Zebra crossing

"Ken Ham routinely dismisses findings of palaeontologists, geologists, and other scientists who look at evidence to determine what Earth must have been like before recorded history," news.com.au explained."

Creationists don't need no steenking evidence. They have FAITH. And that's where my understanding collapses. Why are they trying to PROVE the existence of The Big G?

For a fuller explanation search for 'Douglas Adams/Babel Fish.'

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Maserati Ghibli S: Who cares what Joe Walsh thinks?

TheProf
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Angel

Re: The Anti-Maserati

Hmm. The girl in the film 'Hanna' (can't remember her name) hides in a 'camper-van' and the family doesn't know she's there.

So, is there enough room in a Sienna (it might have been a VW in the film) for a young girl to hide from the family for the length of a road trip while still carrying all the usual gubbins a family requires?

(Nothing sinister, I just thought the film was a load of pants and this was one of the reasons why.)

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SpaceX signs off on another successful mission with Pacific splashdown

TheProf
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Bones

"Spaceflight-induced health changes, such as decreases in muscle and bone mass, "

I thought worms were boneless.

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Spotify smashing new media paradigms with something called ‘video’

TheProf
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Huh?

http://golferswines.com/about/about_golfers_wine/

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After #Election2015: How can we save Big Data?

TheProf
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Re: Genius

Quinoa, pronounced ‘keen-wa’.(From the BBC Good Food website.)

I'm northern and don't own a pitbull or a pigeon.

I also don't believe opinion polls.

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Starbucks denies mobile app hack, blames careless customers

TheProf
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Re: And this is why the box always must remain unticked....

From The Goons:

Bloodnok:

Now let us take the regimental oath. Open your wallets and say after me - "Help yourself".

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Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

TheProf
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Mushroom

Yawn!

(Digs out DVD of Tank Girl (Mad Max the Musical.))

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Next-gen Freeview telly won't be another disruptive 4Ker

TheProf
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Happy

Re: Maybe I'm a nit

I used Google to find out what a Nit is but without success. I'm still scratching my head.

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Chill, luvvies. The ‘unsustainable’ BBC Telly Tax stays – for now

TheProf
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Unhappy

40 pence worth.

The BEEB costs about 40 pence a day. That's cheaper than buying a daily newspaper. The trouble I have is that the BBC produce hundreds of good quality, highly thought of TV programmes that I have no interest in watching. The few I did (until recently) enjoy have been 'dumbed down' for the worse. (I won't list the ones I liked. It'll cause arguments.)

I stopped buying and reading newspapers because I don't like what they publish. The BBC, for all their excellent programmes, have followed.

How about a slot in the top of the telly into which I could pop my 40p when I want to watch something?

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Lies, damn lies and election polls: Why GE2015 pundits fluffed the numbers so badly

TheProf
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Up the Pole!

Have I got this right?

Each Tory MP got in with 34,244 votes.

The single UKIP MP needed 3,881,129 votes, the Green MP needed 1,154,562 votes.

The SNP MPs needed 25,972?

It's not opinion polls that need changing it's the whole electoral system.

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You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

TheProf
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Out of date

Not a very critical piece El Reg. And so late to the party too.

New Scientist

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Fox gives Minority Report the nod – precog goes primetime on tellybox

TheProf
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Unhappy

New exciting direction

So the programme will have little in common with the movie which had little in common with the story it was 'based' on. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Also: Why do movie companies buy the rights to books and then turn out a film that doesn't resemble the book? 'I Robot' spring to mind. I can only watch enjoy that if I keep in mind they should have called it 'Rampaging Robots'.

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Kiwi company posts job ad for Windows support scammers

TheProf
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Re: Grandma

Thank you for the Thumb's up you nice person.

I'm feeling a lot less picky now.

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TheProf
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Headmaster

Grandma

"There's even bonuses to be had "

Try writing "There are even bonuses ". People might be fooled into thinking you're (not you's) part of the advert campaign.

(Sorry, I'm being picky today.)

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SpaceX Dragon crew capsule in 'CHUTE ABORT drama – don't panic, no one died

TheProf
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Mushroom

Re: Not on Shuttle-

Didn't the Shuttle have a long pole that could be shoved out of the hatch that astronauts could 'monorail' away from a stricken vehicle during launch?

1: I've explained that badly.

2: I may have imagined it.

3: All of the above.

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Apple Watch fanbois suffer PAINFUL RASH after sweaty wristjob action

TheProf
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Flame

Uncomfortable

"to achieve a snug, yet comfortable, fit that prevents movement of Apple Watch relative to skin"

That's going to become uncomfortable if the watch, sorry, Apple Watch, is going to sit all day, without moving, on the same section of arm.

I have to reposition my watch, sorry, watch (sic), several times during the hour or two I wear it. I'd go insane if I couldn't reposition it.

Flaming rash ---->

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Apple to devs: Watch out, don't make the Watch into a, well, a watch

TheProf
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Re: Rolex Explorer II

Automatic winder for £20? Couldn't you just move your watch arm a bit during the day?

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SpaceX in MONEY RING shot, no spare juice for tail backdown this time

TheProf
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Angel

Re: Misleading headline

What??? You think calling something "TurkmenAlem52E/MonacoSAT" isn't some kind of achievement?

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ESPN sues Verizon: People picking their own TV channels? NOOoo!

TheProf
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Unhappy

Not fine enough.

'allows subscribers to get a few dozen basic channels'

What? Whole channels? Can't I just pick the programmes I want to watch?

I'll take Doctor Who. You can forget almost everything else.

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

TheProf
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Unhappy

Re: you need a holiday Mr Dabbs!

But the management remember every time you've said 'no, not my job' and promote the unctuous little toady who knows nothing about the job but enough about human nature to flatter their way to being your boss.

Bastards!

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Cash register maker used same password – 166816 – non-stop since 1990

TheProf
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Happy

Heroes

Things won't remain in a poor state for long. Not with Bishop Fox and Chief Henderson on the case.

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Something's missing in our universe: Boffins look into the SUPERVOID

TheProf
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Re: I tried staring into an abyss once

Ah! Broadcast television.

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Bonking with Apple is no fun 'cos it's too hard to pay, say punters

TheProf
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Pint

Re: Vodafone wallet

It gets worse!

You need to download 'Wallet' to use 'SmartPass'.

Oh, then you need to top-up your SmartAss before you can pay for anything.

'Excuse me Barkeep, do you accept cash in this fine establishment?'

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TheProf
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Re: Vodafone wallet

Ah! It's called 'SmartPass'.

As in 'Heys, hows yous gonnas pays, SmartPass?'

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TheProf
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FAIL

Vodafone wallet

I'm not surprised Vodafone won't divulge user numbers; they can't have any yet.

A look at their home page shows no links to anything called 'Wallet'.

Search the site and the first result is.....nothing about Wallet! They aren't pushing this very hard at the moment.

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Bone-tastic boffins' breakthrough BRINGS BACK BRONTOSAURUS

TheProf
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Re: Apatosaurus my elbow

Is she the one with the antlers?

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Don't be stiffed by spies, stand up to Uncle Sam with your proud d**k pics – says Snowden

TheProf
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Devil

Call the police there's a madman around.

"NYPD are investigating the unauthorized installation of the statue. "

I wonder how squad cars they sent to this heinous incident. I'd hazard a guess of 6 but if anyone does know please share the information.

Thanks

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Take a deep breath, Apple: Europe snaps on gloves for vigorous iTunes stream pat-down

TheProf
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Facepalm

Huh?

Wait a minute. Apple paid $3 billion dollars for Beats streaming and now they're going to change the name?

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V&A Museum shows Guardian's destroyed MacBook as ART

TheProf
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Joke

ART?

This isn't art. You wouldn't know art if you stepped in it!

http://tinyurl.com/muu2xm8

(Tiny url'd to preserve the joke. Damn! I've just given the game away.)

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The coming of DAB+: Stereo eluded the radio star

TheProf
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Devil

Re: Con trick

Although to be fair to Radio 4 Extra, The Clitheroe Kid was recorded in mono.

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TheProf
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Happy

DAB Fan

I've used several DAB radios, some poor some not so poor Or perhaps that should be cheap, not so cheap. My main requirement is the ability to record radio programmes for later listening.

I started by using a PSION DAB that connected to a PC via USB. When that died I bought a similar German (?) device. That too died. After looking around for a radio that could record onto SD cards I finally bought a PURE 'refurb' set for under £100. (List price was £200!) And I'm happy with what it does. It does everything I had on my wish list. Record; multiple alarms; the ability to go to sleep with one station and volume and wake with a different station at a different volume.

As for the quality of sound, where I live in Liverpool, Radio 3 FM is a total mess. At least with DAB I don't have a hiss and pop background noise. And there are certain roads I can drive down that cause the RDS radio in my car to switch channel several times.

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Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

TheProf
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Mushroom

Raytheon

Isn't Raytheon the name of a Tefal-foreheaded alien from 'This Island Earth'?

He probably travels by interocitor.

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Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

TheProf
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Re: freedom is nice to have, until it gets taken by a criminal who can not be found

'Ullo, this DNA is a close match to that fellow NAIVE's. We'll put him under very close surveillance until he does anything wrong then bang him up. Maybe we'll even get him jailed.'

Of course that wouldn't happen.

The police can monitor any person the like. The trouble, for them, is that the law requires evidence of some sort of criminal activity taking place. This is what they want to bypass. 'Give us the freedom to monitor everyone and we'll eventually come up with some dirt.'

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Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

TheProf
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You've just reminded me of a Channel 4 programme from many moons ago called 'Watch The Woman'. It was for women. And very funny it was too although I don't think it was supposed to elicit laughter.

Anyhow....One presenter was expressing her anger towards a man who had used c*nt as an insult. 'No one's genitalia should be used as the basis of an insult' she fumed.

Later in the programme they awarded their 'Prick of the Week' award. I think a man won it.

(The also managed to blame men for women suffering from thrush. Men forcing women into wearing pantihose apparently.)

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

TheProf
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Happy

Poundland

I bought some AGFA film in there yesterday. I've been running it through a Recesky Twin Lens Reflex I bought from eBay. It's a DIY plastic camera and it puts all the 'arty' bits in for you.

I get the films developed at a local ASDA (because it sounds like AGFA!) I get the smallest print size and ask them not to to cut the negatives.

As for not experiencing 'life on a 3" screen, I agree. When I saw a Space Shuttle launch I gave my camera to my friend and watched the whole thing with my own eyes.

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The Voices: A horror-comedy that’s as schizophrenic as its protagonist

TheProf
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Devil

What?

But but but Scottish accents are hilarious.

Such as Shrek.

And Frankie Bolye.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

TheProf
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sigh!

And this is what passes for 'entertainment' on Channel 4 these days?

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Lighty and flighty: Six sizzling portable projectors

TheProf
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Noise

"a consistent 28dB hum

low-level 30dB operational whine

a controlled 33dB whir/jumps to 38dB

rather high at 36dB"

Well that all sounds (sic) rather scientific. Except you forgot to mention from how far away these measurements were made. 'As loud as a jet engine' is often used by 'the media' but it's not that loud if the jet is 50,000 feet away.

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Noobs can pwn world's most popular BIOSes in two minutes

TheProf
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Mushroom

Re: manufacturers are to blame 100%

I've just looked at the ASUS website and they seem to encourage people to update the BIOS to wit the 8 series m/b has a BUTTON to initiate the update.

Flashing the bios ------->

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BBC websites GO TITSUP – Auntie blames 'internal system failure'

TheProf
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Happy

Re: Radio Feeds

I use a web browser to listen to the Popmaster quiz on Radio 2 every weekday at 10:30am. I can't say that I've had any real trouble for ages. (With the streaming. My pop knowledge is 50%.) Oh wait, once last week I had to use a 'real' radio but that's the only instance in many months.

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Attack of the Digital People: The BBC goes fully Bong

TheProf
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Re: bbc + digital = fail

Or a web browser. It works with web browsers. You should try it.

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Microsoft RE-BORKS Windows 7 patch after reboot loop horror

TheProf
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Wailing and gnashing of some teeth

'twice-issued Microsoft Windows 7 patch is still causing pain for <SOME> users' FIFY

It hasn't caused me any problem.

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Redmond's Patch Tuesday to kill off the Windows FREAK show

TheProf
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Happy

As usual

Windows 7 64 bit laptop. 13 updates that installed almost as quickly as a normal reboot sequence.

1 reboot. No problems.

Why do some people think updates are the worst thing in the world? Oh yes, The Internet.

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MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases

TheProf
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Re: Future, what future

I hate it when that happens!

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

TheProf
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Happy

Sass

Have an up-vote you hoopy frood.

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Sophie the Stegosaurus was a teenaged fat lass claims triple-D model

TheProf
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BBC radio

BBC Radio 4 news announced the weight as 1.6 tonnes. "Not unlike a small rhino." Because small rhinos are a common sight in the UK.

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NASA 'nauts complete another EPIC SPACEWALK to route cables around ISS

TheProf
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No steam but....

Didn't the moon shuttle in 2001: A Space Odyssey have pinging noises to help guide the pilots to the landing pad?

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

TheProf
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Unhappy

Re: How many...

I once complained about an advert.

It was for an 'Italian' margarine. Two elderly women picnicking on a beach kicked their dog which ran off and stole the towel from a young man who was using it to change beneath after a swim. The two laughing women then photographed the naked man.

The ASA eventually wrote back presenting the findings of their investigation. Amongst the complaints they'd received were:

Stereotyping of Italians:

Cruelty to a dog.

Humiliation of a young man by two elderly women.

The ASA rejected all the complaints because the advert was obviously intended to be humorous.

I failed to see the joke.

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Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life

TheProf
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Angel

Much easier

If you want to know where a phone user is just call them.

"I'M ON THE BUS."

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Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP

TheProf
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Devil

WOW!

"Unsurprisingly, after hearing from The Register on Monday, Sky promised to release a new update today."

Jeepers! You must wield a mighty stick in tech circles if you can get a problem fixed with one phone call. Any chance of you sorting out the Greek financial problem?

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