* Posts by TheProf

271 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

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Stuff your RFID card, just let me through the damn door!

TheProf
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Unhappy

Re: you need a holiday Mr Dabbs!

But the management remember every time you've said 'no, not my job' and promote the unctuous little toady who knows nothing about the job but enough about human nature to flatter their way to being your boss.

Bastards!

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Cash register maker used same password – 166816 – non-stop since 1990

TheProf
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Happy

Heroes

Things won't remain in a poor state for long. Not with Bishop Fox and Chief Henderson on the case.

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Something's missing in our universe: Boffins look into the SUPERVOID

TheProf
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Re: I tried staring into an abyss once

Ah! Broadcast television.

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Bonking with Apple is no fun 'cos it's too hard to pay, say punters

TheProf
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Pint

Re: Vodafone wallet

It gets worse!

You need to download 'Wallet' to use 'SmartPass'.

Oh, then you need to top-up your SmartAss before you can pay for anything.

'Excuse me Barkeep, do you accept cash in this fine establishment?'

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TheProf
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Re: Vodafone wallet

Ah! It's called 'SmartPass'.

As in 'Heys, hows yous gonnas pays, SmartPass?'

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TheProf
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FAIL

Vodafone wallet

I'm not surprised Vodafone won't divulge user numbers; they can't have any yet.

A look at their home page shows no links to anything called 'Wallet'.

Search the site and the first result is.....nothing about Wallet! They aren't pushing this very hard at the moment.

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Bone-tastic boffins' breakthrough BRINGS BACK BRONTOSAURUS

TheProf
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Re: Apatosaurus my elbow

Is she the one with the antlers?

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Don't be stiffed by spies, stand up to Uncle Sam with your proud d**k pics – says Snowden

TheProf
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Devil

Call the police there's a madman around.

"NYPD are investigating the unauthorized installation of the statue. "

I wonder how squad cars they sent to this heinous incident. I'd hazard a guess of 6 but if anyone does know please share the information.

Thanks

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Take a deep breath, Apple: Europe snaps on gloves for vigorous iTunes stream pat-down

TheProf
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Facepalm

Huh?

Wait a minute. Apple paid $3 billion dollars for Beats streaming and now they're going to change the name?

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V&A Museum shows Guardian's destroyed MacBook as ART

TheProf
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Joke

ART?

This isn't art. You wouldn't know art if you stepped in it!

http://tinyurl.com/muu2xm8

(Tiny url'd to preserve the joke. Damn! I've just given the game away.)

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The coming of DAB+: Stereo eluded the radio star

TheProf
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Devil

Re: Con trick

Although to be fair to Radio 4 Extra, The Clitheroe Kid was recorded in mono.

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TheProf
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Happy

DAB Fan

I've used several DAB radios, some poor some not so poor Or perhaps that should be cheap, not so cheap. My main requirement is the ability to record radio programmes for later listening.

I started by using a PSION DAB that connected to a PC via USB. When that died I bought a similar German (?) device. That too died. After looking around for a radio that could record onto SD cards I finally bought a PURE 'refurb' set for under £100. (List price was £200!) And I'm happy with what it does. It does everything I had on my wish list. Record; multiple alarms; the ability to go to sleep with one station and volume and wake with a different station at a different volume.

As for the quality of sound, where I live in Liverpool, Radio 3 FM is a total mess. At least with DAB I don't have a hiss and pop background noise. And there are certain roads I can drive down that cause the RDS radio in my car to switch channel several times.

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Ding Dong, ALIENS CALLING

TheProf
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Mushroom

Raytheon

Isn't Raytheon the name of a Tefal-foreheaded alien from 'This Island Earth'?

He probably travels by interocitor.

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Encryption is the REAL threat – Head Europlod

TheProf
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Re: freedom is nice to have, until it gets taken by a criminal who can not be found

'Ullo, this DNA is a close match to that fellow NAIVE's. We'll put him under very close surveillance until he does anything wrong then bang him up. Maybe we'll even get him jailed.'

Of course that wouldn't happen.

The police can monitor any person the like. The trouble, for them, is that the law requires evidence of some sort of criminal activity taking place. This is what they want to bypass. 'Give us the freedom to monitor everyone and we'll eventually come up with some dirt.'

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Forum chat is like Clarkson punching you repeatedly in the face

TheProf
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You've just reminded me of a Channel 4 programme from many moons ago called 'Watch The Woman'. It was for women. And very funny it was too although I don't think it was supposed to elicit laughter.

Anyhow....One presenter was expressing her anger towards a man who had used c*nt as an insult. 'No one's genitalia should be used as the basis of an insult' she fumed.

Later in the programme they awarded their 'Prick of the Week' award. I think a man won it.

(The also managed to blame men for women suffering from thrush. Men forcing women into wearing pantihose apparently.)

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

TheProf
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Happy

Poundland

I bought some AGFA film in there yesterday. I've been running it through a Recesky Twin Lens Reflex I bought from eBay. It's a DIY plastic camera and it puts all the 'arty' bits in for you.

I get the films developed at a local ASDA (because it sounds like AGFA!) I get the smallest print size and ask them not to to cut the negatives.

As for not experiencing 'life on a 3" screen, I agree. When I saw a Space Shuttle launch I gave my camera to my friend and watched the whole thing with my own eyes.

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The Voices: A horror-comedy that’s as schizophrenic as its protagonist

TheProf
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Devil

What?

But but but Scottish accents are hilarious.

Such as Shrek.

And Frankie Bolye.

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Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

TheProf
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sigh!

And this is what passes for 'entertainment' on Channel 4 these days?

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Lighty and flighty: Six sizzling portable projectors

TheProf
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Noise

"a consistent 28dB hum

low-level 30dB operational whine

a controlled 33dB whir/jumps to 38dB

rather high at 36dB"

Well that all sounds (sic) rather scientific. Except you forgot to mention from how far away these measurements were made. 'As loud as a jet engine' is often used by 'the media' but it's not that loud if the jet is 50,000 feet away.

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Noobs can pwn world's most popular BIOSes in two minutes

TheProf
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Mushroom

Re: manufacturers are to blame 100%

I've just looked at the ASUS website and they seem to encourage people to update the BIOS to wit the 8 series m/b has a BUTTON to initiate the update.

Flashing the bios ------->

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BBC websites GO TITSUP – Auntie blames 'internal system failure'

TheProf
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Happy

Re: Radio Feeds

I use a web browser to listen to the Popmaster quiz on Radio 2 every weekday at 10:30am. I can't say that I've had any real trouble for ages. (With the streaming. My pop knowledge is 50%.) Oh wait, once last week I had to use a 'real' radio but that's the only instance in many months.

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Attack of the Digital People: The BBC goes fully Bong

TheProf
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Re: bbc + digital = fail

Or a web browser. It works with web browsers. You should try it.

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Microsoft RE-BORKS Windows 7 patch after reboot loop horror

TheProf
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Wailing and gnashing of some teeth

'twice-issued Microsoft Windows 7 patch is still causing pain for <SOME> users' FIFY

It hasn't caused me any problem.

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Redmond's Patch Tuesday to kill off the Windows FREAK show

TheProf
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Happy

As usual

Windows 7 64 bit laptop. 13 updates that installed almost as quickly as a normal reboot sequence.

1 reboot. No problems.

Why do some people think updates are the worst thing in the world? Oh yes, The Internet.

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MPs 'alarmed' by millions of mugshots on Brit cops' databases

TheProf
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Re: Future, what future

I hate it when that happens!

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Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

TheProf
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Happy

Sass

Have an up-vote you hoopy frood.

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Sophie the Stegosaurus was a teenaged fat lass claims triple-D model

TheProf
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BBC radio

BBC Radio 4 news announced the weight as 1.6 tonnes. "Not unlike a small rhino." Because small rhinos are a common sight in the UK.

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NASA 'nauts complete another EPIC SPACEWALK to route cables around ISS

TheProf
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No steam but....

Didn't the moon shuttle in 2001: A Space Odyssey have pinging noises to help guide the pilots to the landing pad?

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Ads watchdog: Er, what does woman in her undies have to do with ‘slim’ phone?

TheProf
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Unhappy

Re: How many...

I once complained about an advert.

It was for an 'Italian' margarine. Two elderly women picnicking on a beach kicked their dog which ran off and stole the towel from a young man who was using it to change beneath after a swim. The two laughing women then photographed the naked man.

The ASA eventually wrote back presenting the findings of their investigation. Amongst the complaints they'd received were:

Stereotyping of Italians:

Cruelty to a dog.

Humiliation of a young man by two elderly women.

The ASA rejected all the complaints because the advert was obviously intended to be humorous.

I failed to see the joke.

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Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life

TheProf
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Angel

Much easier

If you want to know where a phone user is just call them.

"I'M ON THE BUS."

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Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP

TheProf
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Devil

WOW!

"Unsurprisingly, after hearing from The Register on Monday, Sky promised to release a new update today."

Jeepers! You must wield a mighty stick in tech circles if you can get a problem fixed with one phone call. Any chance of you sorting out the Greek financial problem?

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To Explain the World, Girl in a Band and A Spool of Blue Thread

TheProf
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Facepalm

A strange choice.

"'The Whitshanks were not remarkable in any way whatsoever,' she writes. Ms Tyler damns herself from the outset… then pray why write about them, Anne?"

Then pray why write a review about a book about them, Mark?

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BEHOLD the magnificent lunar backside in our MOON VIDEO

TheProf
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Unknown

Dark as in 'unknown' not dark as in 'unlit'. The same way Africa used to be called the Dark Continent.

Sorry, I know, boring comment.

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Toshiba packs NUMERIC KEYPAD onto self-bricking USB drive

TheProf
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Re: Right...

Want to buy an extension cable and a pencil?

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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

TheProf
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Devil

Re: Blimey!

"This could change the way people do laundry" followed by the 'cha-chunk' sound of a pump-action shotgun.

Now I'm interested.

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

TheProf
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Kill the messenger.

Apart from being 6 weeks behind The Register what have the BBC done to deserve another snippy article?

They certainly didn't "claim(ing) a scoop". I heard 'The BBC has learned' but no mention of a scoop.

Newsnight certainly didn't defend the police. Both guests in the studio attacked the police in this matter. In fact only the police officer put up any sort of defence of their behaviour.

What did we learn from Newsnight? Depends who you are. El Reg readers: probably not so much. Newsnight viewers: probably enough to have their opinion of the police taken down another notch.

What have we learned from El Reg? Well I've learned that tabloid tactics aren't just used by the print media.

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Death becomes it: Grim Fandango Remastered

TheProf
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Happy

The old version

I've recently been playing the original version and it looks good on my 24" widescreen monitor. I didn't think it needed any 'remastering' but it's nice to know that it's once again available to purchase.

I'm one of those impatient people who wants to get on with the story so I've used a walk-through more often than a genuine puzzle fan would do. I'm full of admiration for people who can play the game without cheating.

That said I still found the game frustrating. There's one part in the undersea section where one has to click a very small and far away item at exactly the right moment. Miss it and there's a (what seems like forever) wait until the object is in the right place again. That kind of 'picky' action tends to put me off a game.

I go back to it occasionally because it looks good, sounds good, and it's funny.

Now I want to give Starship Titanic another chance.

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Wheeee! BT preps for FIVE HUNDRED MEGABIT broadband trial

TheProf
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Facepalm

You're right! The other 80% of the population should wait until you've caught up with them.

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TheProf
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Re: If....

Do you mean you think BT should run fibre optic cables up a telegraph post and then dangle one across to each property?

Do fibre optics take kindly to that sort of treatment?

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Landlines: The tech that just won't die

TheProf
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Unhappy

Call filtering

A problem is that a lot of phone calls from institutions don't have a caller ID for the filtering system to pick up.

I've had several NUMBER NOT AVAILABLE or WITHHELD displays on the phone that turned out to be important calls from hospitals or credit card companies.

Also some bogus insurance calls are using fake numbers. I've been getting ones starting with 0151, the prefix for Merseyside numbers.

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Wizard of Oz OFFICIALLY 'most significant movie' EVER, says PNAS

TheProf
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Joke

Call a Doctor

Are you sure the picture isn't from Doctor Who?

The colour scheme looks suitably garish.

A TARDIS console.

Bloke with long white hair.

Frock coat.

Annoying female assistant.

Crap robot.

Even crapper 'man in a rubber suit' monsters.

Oooo-eeeeee-oooooo.

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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

TheProf
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Unhappy

More a review of Windows than the tablet.

I was tempted to get one of these but one user review mentioned that it had a plastic screen. Out of all the 'professional' reviews I've read not one mentioned the screen material. However they all mentioned the 'odd button placement'.

Considering that the screen is the main input device I'd like to know what it's made of (I know it's not Gorilla glass 'cos everyone mentions that!) how it feels to drag a finger across it, whether it 'feels right' and what the image looks like.

Nice to know that it comes in sleeved sturdy box!

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Acer Chromebook 13: The best Googletop on the market?

TheProf
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One for dad

This sounds ideal for my dad. He only uses his current laptop for internet stuff. I don't think he's got any 'proper' programs loaded.

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Bloke in Belgium tries to trademark Je Suis Charlie slogan

TheProf
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Re: Brave, or stupid?

So you're worried you won't be able to pick-up your copy as usual? Perhaps now is the time to subscribe.

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Our EXCLUSIVE VID of MIRACLE TECH: Charge your phone in 16 SECONDS – WIRELESSLY

TheProf
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Re: C'mon El Reg, play fair.

If The Register had asked for more information and been refused then there would have been a story. If they'd got an interview and a look at the tech, then, again, there would have been a story.

As it stands this is either a silly waste of time (by at least one party) or just a bad joke (by at least one party.)

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Eight pocket-pleasing USB 3.0 hard drives

TheProf
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Happy

Re: Not enough power!

I did that too. Took the drive out of a Toshiba model. It was a standard SATA connector and fitted into my laptop with no trouble at all. It worked out cheaper than buying a bare drive.

One thing impressed me with the Tosh case was the activity light. Plugged into a USB3 port and it glows blue. In a USB2 port it's white.

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Tesco preps for Big Data Engine dump: Laters, Clubcard dev

TheProf
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Unhappy

Not a great experience

I've cut back my shopping at Tesco because:

they 'improved' my local store and imbued it with all the charm of the security gate at an airport;

they failed to have shopping baskets at the entrance on every other visit;

they almost invariably forgot to add on the 'green bonus' points when I took my own shopping bag;

they put men's toiletries and men's magazines at 'pinch-points' meaning I had to keep dodging aggressive women with lethal trolleys.

Still not as awful an experience as my local ASDA but they have seriously lost their way. I'm always impressed with how nice Sainsbury's is.

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Music fans FUME over PJ Harvey ticket CHAOS as Somerset House site buckles

TheProf
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I'll try again to comment

I don't know if I was moderated out of existence or I forgot to post before but here goes.

I don't know, in my day I had to go to the box office and queue to get tickets to see a band. Sometimes I queued in the rain. Sometimes all the tickets sold out before I got to the kiosk.

And today some people moan because they have to refresh the screen every 5 seconds for half-an-hour.

I blame twitter.

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Elite:Dangerous goes TITSUP

TheProf
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Meh

Re: I'm not a programmer.

Thanks for the comments. I think I have a better understanding of the 'game' now. Big universe, big graphics and real-time interactions.

As I said it was the up-front cost that stopped me buying in. That said wasn't the BBC game £14.99 in the late 80's. That's about £44 now and the game looks so much better.

Another point: why did I get down votes on my original post?

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