* Posts by TheProf

365 posts • joined 25 Jun 2008

Page:

Reg reader shares AshMad blackmail email about which he gives 'zero f****s'

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: The Golden Cow?

Well ElReg has to keep us ad watchers happy.

0
0

Sacré bleu! Apple, Nokia, Samsung et al end their three-year sulk over 'home taping' tax

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

A finger in every tarte

This will work out well for Sony and possibly other companies too.

They produce music CDs. They produce blank CDs and they produce the CD drives used to burn the copies of the music they produced in the first place. For which they will receive compensation.

Kerching!

0
0

NHS to go paperless by 2020. No, really, it will, says gros fromage

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: Take their printers off them

"Photocopying it at least preserves the content beyond the original fading."

It does but by this time we had the modern marvel that is inkjet faxes.

(A quick Google later) Hey, they still make fax machines. Who'da thunk it?

0
0
TheProf
Bronze badge
Pirate

Re: Laughed so much I nearly fell off my chair

"I thought they were bar coding them."

Well that explains why 'everyone' is covered in tattoos these days.

0
0
TheProf
Bronze badge
Alert

Take their printers off them

I worked for an office manager who printed off all, ALL!, of his internal email (this was the late 90's before proper email took off) and had the 'trainee' file them away in standard filing 4 drawer cabinets. I think he had six cabinets because, of course, the email was cross referenced something like this:

One copy for internal staff related matters.

One copy for agency staff related matters.

One copy for health and safety related matters.

One copy because it concerned an external supplier.

Someone getting a paper-cut from some Niceday printer paper could trigger an avalanche of nasty finger cutting paper memos.

The cabinets filled up in weeks.

Oh, he photocopied faxes and filed them too.

0
0

OH DEAR, WHSmith: Sensitive customer data spaffed to world+dog

TheProf
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Another one...

" Just don't expect to be able to spend them online... useful."

Yes I keep having that trouble but with £5 notes. I've tried keying in the serial numbers but NOT ONE webtailer (is that a word?) will accept payment that way.

5
1

Ad watchdog terminates Vodafone's cherry-picked 'unbeatable connecting calls' claims

TheProf
Bronze badge

Advertising credo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZUmAbi0Vm4

We need a song icon!

0
0

Jeep Cherokee 2.2: Capable, comfortable ... but just not very Jeep

TheProf
Bronze badge
Megaphone

BEEEEEEEP

"lane departure warning – which is annoying"

My Skoda gives a very gentle, relaxing almost, 'bing' sound when the outdoor temperature is likely to result in an icy road, and a strident 'BEEEEEPP' when the screen washer bottle is low. And I don't think they can be switched around or off.

Personally I think anything that helps stop lumbering great lumps of iron from wandering about the lanes on a motorway is a good thing.

2
1

NHS site defaced with screed protesting Syrian conflict

TheProf
Bronze badge
Alert

Re: Well, I see their point ...

There's a McDonald's poster near my house that's been spray painted with 'Support the Refugees'.

I for one am glad that someone is taking the time to bring these matters to the attention of the world and her fat hungry family.

1
1

'Web brothel' CEO, staff cuffed on prostitution rap – clue: the website is called Rentboy.com

TheProf
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

Iron Man

"US Department of Homeland Security special agent Susan Ruiz "

Erm, isn't their job "protecting the territory of the United States and protectorates from and responding to terrorist attacks, man-made accidents, and natural disasters." wiki

They'll have Marvel: Agents of Shield handing out parking tickets next.

2
0

Wileyfox smartphones: SD card, no bloatware, Cyanogen, big battery – yes to all!

TheProf
Bronze badge

Brilliant marketing blah!

Just watched the video on their webpage. They ask 'and what if your phone wasn't pre-loaded with battery draining apps?' Then they boast that 'what if your phone comes with Audio FX as standard?'

Well can I have a Cyanogen phone WITHOUT AFX? No? Bugger!

Still it looks worth a punt. I'm in.

0
0

Shadow minister for Fun calls for Openreach separation

TheProf
Bronze badge

Question

I keep reading about the need for rural businesses, usually farmers are mentioned, to have high-speed internet access.

My question is what advantage would a farmer have with a, say, 50 Mbps connection over a 10Mbps connection?

3
1

Fancy a mile-high EARJOB? We've had five!

TheProf
Bronze badge
Megaphone

Background hum

I always wondered why the crew of the USS Enterprise never wore noise-cancelling headphones. The background hum would drive me mad in a few hours. Ditto the TARDIS.

Unless everyone on board had tinnitus and the hum was used as a masking sound.

3
0

Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank becomes TV reality

TheProf
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Celebrity tandem parachuting

As long as the idea flies and not the defenestrated celebrities.

I've come to dislike the C word too but I think calling them 'people' is just a step too far.

1
0
TheProf
Bronze badge
Devil

Celebrity tandem parachuting

The idea is quite simple, as indeed are the celebrities.

Celebrities are trained how to parachute. At the end of the hilarious week a pair of celebrities are strapped back-to-back, each being told that the celebrity on their back is their 'Celebrity Parachute.'

Then they get chucked out of an aircraft.

(Quite right: too much use of the word celebrity.)

1
0
TheProf
Bronze badge

" the shower we've had for the last 60 years in the mens game?"

No wonder they're rubbish if they've had the same team for the past 60 years.

Actually 60 years would be from 1955 to now. I'm assuming England when you say 'the shower'; they won the world cup in 1966.

0
0

Computer Science GCSE male dominated, but geekettes are ready to rise

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Sex

"persons of the contradictory gender." You mean the distaff side.

2
0

Enjoy vaping while you still can, warns Public Health England

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: @Andrew - Confusing Four Freedoms with Three Pillars?

Three legs are stable. It's four-legged bar stools you want to treat with caution.

2
0

YouTube bloggers told to slap 'advert' stickers on their vid posts

TheProf
Bronze badge
Joke

NICE? CLUB? TWIX? Come on, gimme a break here.

1
0

Vaio returns from the dead wearing sharper suit, bolts in neck

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: Apparently ...

Video Audio Input Output

0
0

Ofcom coverage map: 7/10 – must try harder next time

TheProf
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Nice to know

It's nice to know that the local park has plenty of indoor 4G coverage. That must be why the council is trying to flog off a swathe of it for new housing.

2
0

Stardock’s Start10 brings the familiarity of 7 to Windows 10

TheProf
Bronze badge
Holmes

Shrinky dink

" the Cortana/Search box which takes up substantial taskbar space"

Or you could go to Taskbar/Properties and check 'use small icons' and reduce the search box to a magnifying glass icon.

Just tried Classic Shell. That's definitely going on my dad's laptop.

5
0

Is this the most puzzling DEF CON attendee badge yet on record?

TheProf
Bronze badge
Happy

Pedantry

"It plays at 33rpm " I bet it also plays at 45rpm and 78rpm.

The correct speed would be thirty-three and one third revolutions per minute. It's Imperial.

13
0

NASA primed for 9-minute live test of mighty rocket motor

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: "Brain"

Hence the use of the word 'brain'. Touché.

0
0

Wanna harvest a stranger's Facebook data? Get a mobile number and off you go

TheProf
Bronze badge
Pint

Re: If something is free....

I always feel more like a resource.

0
0

ANIMALS being CUT UP to make Apple Watch straps

TheProf
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Click bate(sic)

Dammit! I clicked.

Another O News story.

12
0

'WOMAN FOUND ON MARS' – now obvious men are from Venus

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

It's a hologram

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

6
0

Pi-eyed: Microsoft ships slimmed-down Windows 10 IoT Core for gizmos

TheProf
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: I'll take a look.

I almost down-voted you for your shocking lack of invective.

However you're a 'let's try it first' kind of chap so, up-vote!

5
0

Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

TheProf
Bronze badge

Wimp out

Apple Music just fucking sucks and millennials (and their darned digital literacy)

https://xkcd.com/798/

3
3

Testing Motorola's Moto G third-gen mobe: Is it still king of the hill?

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Removable memory

"disappointing to see the memory card slot limited to 32GB cards, so you can’t cart around a large music or video collection."

Perhaps one could carry more music/video on a second card and switch them as required. You know, because, removable memory.

3
3

PALE BACKSIDE of lovely Luna flits past in imagery from 1 MILLION miles out

TheProf
Bronze badge
Angel

Bright

“It is surprising how much brighter Earth is than the moon,"

Surely a NASA boffin can't be surprised by this.

A quick Google search and; albedo Earth:0.30, Moon 0.12.

3
3

Sengled lightbulb speakers: The best worst stereo on Earth

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: The Internet of Things summarised

I don't know what you're selling but with a name like PurpleMoo I want one!

Point 1: Does the Digital Lawnmower 'invented' by The Goodies count? (An Arthur C Clarke's Mysterious World spoof. Oh go on then. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl8SRrlbbN0)

1
0

Intel doubles its bounty for women and ethnic minorities

TheProf
Bronze badge
Angel

Breeding hell

Why the worry about diversity? Intel aren't breeding staff are they?

2
0

OFFICIAL SCIENCE: Men are freezing women out of the workplace

TheProf
Bronze badge
Flame

Wear suitable clothing

This was an item on the BBC radio 4 Today programme.

If I remember it correctly one of the researchers said that clothing was the difference. In the tests both male and female wore the same clothes and there wasn't any disagreement about the 'right' temperature.

(iPlayer isn't showing today's Today at the time of writing so I can't check on this. Time of the item was about 7:50 (but I can't check etc.))

4
0

Buffoon in 999 call: 'Cat ate my bacon and I want to press charges'

TheProf
Bronze badge
Holmes

Gotcha!

"we're talking about a matter of seconds between us being able to get to a genuine emergency effectively and not being able to,"

A police spokesperson added;

'Hurrah! The villain was mere seconds away from escaping but due to the diligent* use of the 999 emergency line we nabbed him.**'

*This almost always happens.

**This almost never happens.

2
0

Let's all binge on Blake’s 7 and help save the BBC ... from itself

TheProf
Bronze badge

Mine!

Where did you get the idea that you 'own' something because you bought a limited 1 year licence?

You don't 'own' the road because you paid road tax. You don't 'own' a movie because you gave Warners £10 to see it. You don't 'own' the Inland Revenue because you pay income tax. And you sure as hell better return the library book you borrowed even though it was purchased with your council tax.

18
1

A third of workers admit they'd leak sensitive biz data for peanuts

TheProf
Bronze badge
Coffee/keyboard

Opinion poll

Another rubbish 'survey as news' item.

There's a world of difference between what people tell pollsters and that they would actually do.

See 2015 British General Election results compared to opinion poll results.

5
0

Got an Android phone? SMASH IT with a hammer – and do it NOW

TheProf
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Aww cr8p

Well all this advice doesn't help ease my mind.

I received a MMS on Saturday. It claimed to be from Vodafone (it had a 4 digit short code) but I deleted it. I remember the 'pay £1.50 to view a video' scams a few years back and though it was one of those.

Have these evil-packed MMS been seen in the wild or are they still in the labs?

Edit: I'd blocked the phone number. It was 9774. Appears to be a number Vodafone use.

Anyone else had marketing MMS from Vodafone recently?

0
0

Antitrust this! EU Commish goes after HOLLYWOOD’s big guns

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: What's not to like?

Or everyone will end up paying the the same price as the highest priced country.

3
0

Beaten blokes HATE the women who frag them in online games

TheProf
Bronze badge

Re: Going to beat your downvotes

Yeah! Loosers! ;-)

4
1

UK.gov makes total pig's ear of attempt to legalise home CD ripping

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Re: What about downloads you get with paid physical products?

To make things even more complicated: I've bought physical CDs from Amazon for friends who don't have MP3 players. Am I entitled to keep the Autorip MP3?

5
0

Neil Armstrong's MOON spacesuit: One small donation from you - one giant leap for Mankind

TheProf
Bronze badge
Headmaster

"The BBC are still using........."

Stop being silly.

4
0

Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

TheProf
Bronze badge
Go

The real question is...

Is it worse than Green Lantern?

1
0

TalkTalk deactivates hundreds of email accounts after legacy spam scare

TheProf
Bronze badge
Facepalm

This again?

" no doubt using their premium rate phone line. "

Last time I had to call TalkTalk about a problem (a few years ago since you ask) the call didn't cost anything because it was made on a TalkTalk phone line.

This is from their help page.

'Calls are free from your TalkTalk phone. Non-TalkTalk 3ppm plus your phone company access charge.'

I'm all for bashing big companies but not when it comes to repeating mistakes 'some bloke on twitter' made.

3
0

Your security is just dandy, Apple Pay, but here comes Android

TheProf
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Watch Out for Flat Battery Syndrom

and woe betide you if you're caught recharging your ticket from the train electrical supply.

15
0

Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

TheProf
Bronze badge
Alien

Pareidolia

So also the highly amusing

http://www.ufosightingsdaily.com

(No Pluto stuff at the time of posting but just give 'em time to histogram the life out of the images.)

0
0

Google joins Bluetooth snoop pals with iBeacon rival tech Eddystone

TheProf
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: So now they all want to see when your eyeballs look at the screen

"Your phone continues to report your position even when it is off."

Now that is some scary tech. And I even pulled the battery out.

0
0

PLUTO SPACE WHALE starts to give up its secrets

TheProf
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Shurely Shome Mishtake

Exogeology.

2
0

Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue

TheProf
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Sue ball

Can I sue anyone over the fact El Reg has brought to my attention a sporting event of some kind?

I do not like sport and now I will be in constant fear that a stranger will try to start a conversation about sporting people in Canada. (Can I say Canada without being sued? Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada. Yes, that seems fine.)

14
0

Page:

Forums