* Posts by Gannon (J.) Dick

783 posts • joined 13 Aug 2006

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'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: The new man

Re: The new man

And the parting on the left

Is now a parting on the right

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I'd venture a guess that the little wooden boys at Google do not need longer beards, but rather shorter noses.

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FCC sexes up, er, sextuples 'broadband' speed to 25Mbps in US

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: .. but it makes a difference

In theory, I guess.

If history is any guide, some trademark troll has already snagged

"highband",

"wideband",

"longband",

"Sgt.Pepper'sLonelyHeart'sClubBandAidsForKids", etc.

Which of course will serve as an antidote to any FCC fines.

Or whines, for the tragically too few occasions when the FCC has to explain why rock-stars running a harem is really a good idea, but just needs time.

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How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Breathtaking

"If the merger is allowed, the "new" Comcast will control more than FIFTY PERCENT of the high-speed internet service in the US ..."

True, but being Comcast, they will probably deliver no more than 1-2% actual. People will pay for 50%, of course.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Don't pay the bill

Their Lawyers would then argue that you demanded to be called Asshole and at least they spelled it right, although that could also be attributed to Professional Courtesy as they are the biggest assholes imaginable.

Not paying the bill is on the right track, though. If you could figure out a way not to have been billed double whenever you were not looking would really be progress.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

Re: Well, it could have been worse.

I'm sure if she had been Asian they would have gotten it right - professionalism in customer service and all that.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Upvote

Hereitis. Have you been baptized with your Comcast name yet ?

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Wall St wolves tear chunk off Microsoft: There goes $30bn!

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: MS blamed the Office slump on the transition to Office 365

Agreed.

What part of "Personal" Computers are the marketing wizards having a hard time with ? Gone are the days when purchasing agents risked being trampled to death by IBM Salesmen (They traveled in herds), but also gone are the days when the brick and morter store salesman knew what needed batteries - technically not an up-sale to a captive audience.

Now the captive audience is supposed to know when to send money, not a shock, just a little jolt to remind then who owns the treadmill.

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FTC to Internet of Stuff: Security, motherf****r, do you speak it?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: I would like to offically declare

Yup.

When the electric vacuum cleaner ("a labor saving device") was introduced it led to no savings at all ... Just the thoughtless genocide of dust bunnies as average housekeeping standards improved, in fact.

When you hear how the IOT is going to improve your mind, remember the dust bunnies and how they hid.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Management protocol?

I'm sorry but I don't find that crazy at all, Crazy.

You might want to ignore the (requests)+ to Report For Reconditioning you'll be getting from Human Resources.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Barratry is not Semantics

"Obviously, this is something for lawyers to have fun with: sadly, is a photo-sharing app monitoring your movements really "unexpected" in this day and age?"

Dear Internet Of Things,

Can I call you IOT? Thanks.

This is Barratry, not Semantics. It's somebody else's job to fix!!!!

Don't feel bad, those little lawyer rascals pull this prank on all the newbies. The joke is that "this day and age" really means whatever day we get to Court. Get it? Funny huh? No???? ok, pretend this day and age is the 17th Century. We'll find you a pirate to hang or a witch to burn. Won't that be fun to watch? Come on, cheer up, they do it to everybody.

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SO. Which IS more important to humanity: Facebook, or Portugal?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Personally.....

+1 I am an American and have never had issues with North, Central or South American beer. My countrymen who want to drink water should know the risks. As that great American philosopher W.C.Fields said, "Never drink water, fish fuck in it."

+1 x -1,000,000,000 for the EU. I never realized you could buy just one bottle. You've two hands, it doesn't seem right, somehow. That said, the European Space Program would be a lot easier to manage if the citizens in the former Portugese colony of Brazil would just stop drinking up all the rocket fuel (Cachaça).

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Personally.....

Drinking untreated Kool-Aide, way way better.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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If you want to put Zuck in his place, pull down the Eiffel Tower

Here's how it goes ...

Every time you give a snipit of personal information to Zuck he is going to try to match it to other snipits. It's not the crime, friends, it's the trial.

If Zuck finds you guilty of being who you say you are, then you have been found guilty before your trial. This is an old philosophical friction between English Common Law and the Napoleonic Code. It turns out that neither ECL or NC had any intention, no way, no how, of codifying a presumption of guilt. Full Stop. But there was a question of excessive remand - can Zuck lock you in Facebook and throw away the key ? Zuck wants this pressing question decided no time soon, but certainly not before Waterloo is refought and and the video posted for all to see. Zuck is a firm believer in Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Speech.

In the meantime, you're guilty of being you because English Common Law and the Napoleonic Code can't make up their minds. EU, are you buying this nonsense ? I would hope that Portugal isn't.

The "right to be forgotten" is an appeal of a completely bogus "guilty" verdict by a self-appointed judge.

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Things the Police should do

3) Treat this crime as murder really is: not random, haphazard nor unavoidable, but always tragic.

FIFY

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Just WHY is the FBI so sure North Korea hacked Sony? NSA: *BLUSH*

Gannon (J.) Dick
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So ...

The NSA has determined that the folks at SONY were punked recently by certifying that the Norks were assholes years ago ?

The cuckold is always the last to know, it seems.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

Re: Curious timing

IN-ADDR.ARPA kcolrehs tihs on

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Zuckerberg asks the public to tell him where to go in 2015

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

Re: "gone nearly vegetarian"

Actually I saw that definition (vegetarian=lousy hunter) on the menu of a BBQ joint in N. Texas.

Attributed to Native Americans, hopefully the copyright has expired.

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Survey: Tech has FREED modern workers – to work longer hours

Gannon (J.) Dick
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"Incidentally, however, only 4 per cent of survey participants said social networks like Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter were essential to their jobs."

Well next time only ask Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter Boards of Directors and nobody else.

Obviously 95% Investors and a few stray dogs includes too many dogs for accurate results. Do it right and sky's the limit 5%, 7% maybe even 8% who knows.

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Judge kills Facebook's bid to dismiss private message sniffing case

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: But it does...

Alright then, so you have stopped beating your wife ...

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Blind justice: Google lawsuit silences elected state prosecutor

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Good article

" Re: Good article

Personally I think Google are doing law enforcement a favour."

Huh ? I thought the Public was doing Law Enforcement a favour by giving them paychecks for work which might prove extraordinarly dangerous. You must mean that Google is helping the Public with that responsibility. Oh. They aren't.

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Hilton, Marriott and co want permission to JAM guests' personal Wi-Fi

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Sleeping Horizontally on a surface with rounded corners

There's an app for that ! Pay up.

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Hold the front page: Spain's anti-Google lobbyists lobby for Google News return

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Money

Exactly ...

Spam, paid for in advance, makes currency (with serial numbers on the bills) for the spammer. It does not increase the pool of profit, which is anonymous value forms - coins, without serial numbers.

Eventually you will be able to melt down your grandmother and use the silver in her hair to buy advertising, to users who dream of having a grandmother like the one you just melted.

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UK slaps 25 per cent 'Google Tax' on tech multinationals

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Coffee/keyboard

I myself have been struggling with a long term addiction to food and shelter.

Been there, done that. You mean there was a T-Shirt too ?

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User flexibility without the risk

Gannon (J.) Dick
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WTF?

"As part of this, where necessary, senior managers need to be reminded that risk management is fundamentally a business rather than an IT issue, ..."

Treat the IT Department better than the paying customers ? Really ?

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Gates Foundation to insist on Open Access science

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Loopholes

"... but it doesn't create a new paradigm for everyone else."

Einstein found a loophole in Newton's denial of Ptolemy. That evolution took 1900 years and Open Access had nothing to do with it.

Newest date on the package wins, never mind the content. The Gates Foundation eats, sleeps, and breathes a model commercial competition useless to scientific progress.

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Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Big Brother

Re: Choice

"And the ranking process does not seem fair and nor is it even published."

It will not be published so it can not be conclusively proven to be unfair by some irritating smarty pants. You know the type, multiple PhD's Nobel blah blah blah.

The Surveillance Society has way too much invested in Google's role as a magician. If Google can find a bunch of Plumbers, after all, then the SS can find all the bad guys with the same magic.

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Are MPs smarter than 5-year-olds? We'll soon find out at coding school – Berners-Lee

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Just so I have this right ...

Coding teaches you to think so in teaching you to talk your parents were teaching you to be slave labor to politicians who know to code ? I imagine that is the way they see it anyway.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: MP Coding

if (Parliament(insession)=true()) {sleep($little_guy)=!(well);}

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EVERYTHING needs crypto says Internet Architecture Board

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Everything in your world needs encryption

Everything in my world just needs to know when to shut up.

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AT&T mothballs creepy customer web stalking system (until everyone's forgotten about it)

Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

As long as the pigs in the Marketing Department are still putting on lipstick to fly, and the pigs in the corner offices have their hams covered by the politically leeward wage slaves in IT, the whole farm is happy, happy, happy.

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Google DoubleClick goes TITSUP. ENJOY your AD-FREE WORLD!

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

Fixed ?

I think "re-broken" maybe ...

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Not sure ...

... to whom we owe thanks, and I know it is only temporary, but ...

next time bring a detonator for the back-up charge !!! Rookie mistake, sheesch.

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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Childcatcher

I get it

Apple is not out to make money. They hang around school children because they have candy, not in spite of it. What other icon is there for this ?

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Facebook's plain English data policy: WE'LL SELL YOU LIKE A PIG at a fair

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

"WE'LL SELL YOU LIKE A PIG at a fair"

I read the whole article out of respect for the genius of El Reg, I think, or maybe it's past noon on Friday and I'm drunk already.

After careful reading, I was unable to decern any nuances in the narrative which might lead me to believe the title did not say it all.

We need an separate Icon, for morning reading.

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SCREW YOU, net neutrality hippies – AT&T halts gigabit fiber

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Not going to happen, but....

"Worked for the Interstate highway system."

That was quite an innovation.

So too Rural Free Delivery (RFD) of mail, in Mayberry and elsewhere, made it possible for the Sear's Catalog to market trinkets up to including the size of houses to rural areas.

The Hippies will never get mail-order communes on ATT's watch, you can bet your waving flag on that.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

The New Jersey Standard

"What's faster? 1Gbps or the speed at which toys were just thrown out of a pram?"

Actually I used to live in New Jersey near the ATT Headquarters, El Reg. I got this one.

The shortest interval known to World+Dog in New Jersey is the time between the light turning green and the asshole behind you blowing his horn and making one finger hand signals. Or her horn, you have to check the manicure.

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Who will save Europe's privacy from the NSA? Oh God ... it's Google

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: No Lawyer or Politician needed

Wow. Way to miss the point, which is "inalienable", not "the people" who are native born (mostly) perhaps subject to jail but not subject to deportation (or "transportation", are you Australian ? or Napolean ? St. Helena, or French ? Devil's Island).

Somewhere between the Magna Carta and the Declaration of Independence Captain Kidd was dragged back to London for hanging.

Stop reading the words. Think the thoughts.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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No Lawyer or Politician needed

"It’s time to extend the US Privacy Act to EU citizens."

Trivia I can't seem to forget: In the US, perhaps in Europe as well, the laws generally refer to "citizens". The exception is FOIA (Freedom of Information Act). It specifically applies to "persons", and of course this can be a proxy meatbag for any organization.

Save yourselves.

The simple fact is that the right to question the NSA is one of those rights Tom Jefferson famously called "inalienable" in the US Declaration of Independence. To be honest I have never seen the word anywhere else. He may have invented it, but the EU can borrow it (as long as you translate into 30 languages).

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BOUNCY BOUNCY: Comet probot Philae landed TWICE

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Well done Philae!

About the bounce ... experienced travelers know you always get in the line for the loo before you get in the line for Customs. No problem :)

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FTC tells 'scan to email' patent troll: Every breath you take, every lie you make, I'll be fining you

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

Re: Bogus

... but it's the law.

When beer is a Food Group, and my birthday a World Holiday then it will be the law.

I'll wait.

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ICANN creates 'UN Security Council for the internet', installs itself as a permanent member

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Play with your own toys

ICANN has been playing with their permanent members for years. We've told them they will go blind, grow hair on their palms, etc.. Nothing will make them stop.

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Ex-NSA lawyer warns Google, Apple: IMPENETRABLE RIM ruined BlackBerry

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Well...There you go again....

"Which pretty much shows you how much the NSA knows about business...or models."

or descent airborne tomato melodrama ...

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: NSA vs Apple + Google

No, I'm sorry william.

This is where the NSA "necessity of the surveillance society" argument skips merrily down the road to Heck. There is no evil twin Board of Directors who do not want you to buy the company's stock or products.

That said, I am surprised Apple, Google don't have both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on the Board. His services must be in great demand in Silicon Valley.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Chewbacca defence?

There are pan-galactic issues here. Porn with midgets ? Never heard of such a thing, he said nervously.

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UNCHAINING DEMONS which might DESTROY HUMANITY: Musk on AI

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: So why didn't ancient Greeks progress?

"... by now we would have colonies (complete with temples of Athena) on Gliese 581 C..."

You mean they tore it down already ???!!!

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: I can see one probable problem

Some other banker(s) will front run the robot.

Genuine Artificial Asshole-ery (GAA) is the next, present and last big thing.

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Apple grapple: Congress kills FBI's Cupertino crypto kybosh plan

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: I have just one thing to say to Mr Comey

Re: I have just one thing to say to Mr Comey

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's two things....

If you are using proper Albanian hyphenation principles, yes, but hey, you are dealing with Americans. What do you expect from that School System ?

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Warning to those who covet the data of Internet of Precious Things

Gannon (J.) Dick
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" ... which then shows you are breaking the law."

William of Occam should advertise his Razor on the web. That would be really cool.

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Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Why ?

"There was much money to be made at Spindletop, but there was even more money to lose. It is estimated that $50 million dollars was made from Spindletop, compared with investments equalling $80 million. As had happened in other booms, there were many frauds and cheats, ..."

http://www.priweb.org/ed/pgws/history/spindletop/spindletop.html

It all sort of all depends on the investors. They must be incredible idiots.

Surely the Irish are as capable as the Texas Oil men.

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'George Orwell was an OPTIMIST. Show me a search history, I'll show you a perv or a crook'

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Childcatcher

Nice!

The subtle point about the Surveillence Society is that Richlieu has not hanged anyone lately.

Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor once famously asked Stalin "When are you going to stop murdering people ?" Stalin replied "When it is no longer necessary" She insisted the question be translated verbatim so there was nothing lost in translation. Nancy and other American chicks probably lose a lot of Translators, however. In any case, Stalin has not murdered anyone recently.

Seeing a pattern here ? It's not the act, it's the agency.

'George Orwell was an OPTIMIST. Show me a search history, I'll show you a perv or a crook'

Won't someone please think of the children ?

They deserve a better Monster than this little jerk.

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