* Posts by Gannon (J.) Dick

800 posts • joined 13 Aug 2006

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Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

Gannon (J.) Dick
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A word of advise from Hollywood ...

... hehehe April Fools in five days :)

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EXPOSED: Google, Obama caught doing it once a week

Gannon (J.) Dick
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(Which leads to the delicious thought... doesn't Obama trust the NSA?)

You get an upvote for the correct usage of the verb "to think", but frankly the implications of the analysis gives me indigestion.

Here's why. Google's functional use of data is improper. The functions are not normalized. The NSA may use data in the same dodgy way, but the careerists at the NSA will eventually have to say "No, can't do it, won't work, could kill people ... etc." if only to protect their personal reputations.

Google will never say no.

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Improved Apple Watches won't get more expensive? Hmmm

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Hmmm... smoke and mirrors?

"many are looking at working longer hours"

Not true across the population. We all have more leisure than any previous generations ever did.

--------------------------------------------------

As you noted, Economists are weird, and quite full of shit as well. Your statistics are flawed because they are "across the population" rather than down the Meridian. The sun sets at the same time down the Meridian, but across the Australian population they are planning social events and across the European population they are shoveling snow in the dark so their income does not suffer - a fine use of the leisure time you grant them.

The Luddites were on to something ... the invention of the electric vacuum cleaner did not "save labor", it led to a new normal in housekeeping (and wholesale dust bunny genocide)

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One does not simply ask the inventor of the WWW what he thinks about memes

Gannon (J.) Dick
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It's possible ....

but I think <blink>Google</blink> will first

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.hotels. .hoteis ... not a typo but a window into ICANN's baffling world

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

"Last month, ICANN's lawyers asserted that many of the proposed new accountability systems being discussed were illegal under California law."

Shouldn't that be bent over, in front of ?

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Tweak comms laws or Facebook 'n' Twitter folk will be treated like CRIMINALS

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Like criminals ?

pretty soon they'll be treating unicorns like unicorns

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LinkedIn values your privacy at ONE WHOLE LOUSY DOLLAR

Gannon (J.) Dick
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You've had your fun ...

In English Courts the suit may have yielded as much as Pound per person ($1.546).

We're sending the Lawyers to Merry Old next. We suggest you turn out the lights and act sparsely inhabited.

The Merkins

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Finally, a decent use for big data: Weeding out crooked City traders

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: finding crook traders?

Worse, it's a magic needle-stack that turns into hay when you drag it across the equator and it gets bigger if you drag it backwards across the International Date Line.

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Flame

Grzegorz Brzeczyszczykiewicz

Shit. I hate it when I have to find another password for my Mother-In-Law. I'll have to find the old bat something harder to remember.

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Microsoft slurps Apple-happy, Google-tastic Sunrise calendar firm

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: E & E & E ?

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all ?

Actually I think the Firesign Theater ought to sue.

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Gov.UK begs Google 'n' U.S. tech pals: Forget Ireland, come to Blighty

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

Tell them you are emulating their Business Model ...

... then lock them in a closet with a dial up connection a 5000 page EULA and a case of beer.

Works every time.

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Google mouthpieces: 'Right to be Forgotten' should NOT apply on google.com

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: What makes something outdated?

Life is too short to downvote a Dodgy Geezer, so I won't.

I will say that if a 30 year old did a study (work-for-hire) of current bankrupcies for you; sole sourced by Google; your geezer wrath would know no bounds. Nor would mine under those circumstances.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Changing the Norm

Hell no.

Google has prospered by being a serial gamer of Civil Court. Nothing wrong with Civil Court per se, it accomplished it's goal which was to stop duels of honor among gentlemen. Civil Law, on the other hand, had to cohabit an enviornment where those same gentlemen dined on the children of the little people. Nothing too honorable about that. Never has been never will be the case. "Changing the Norm" is a creepy race to the creepy bottom.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Turn about is fair play

You are right Steve, sorry for the downvotes from the Hippies who have federalized data sets, the semantic web (software) and DNS (a deterministic appliance implemented in software) smushed together in their heads. It's a modern form of cognitive dissonance or the placebo effect. Take your pick.

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They've finally solved it: Schrödinger's cat is both ALIVE AND DEAD

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

and when mad dogs and Australians go on picnics the Englishmen are shoveling snow in the dark. It is like they are mad, or something. At least they could get the dogs to shovel.

Oh, by the way, geophysics is not quantum superposition.

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We'll ask GCHQ to DELETE records of 'MILLIONS' of people – Privacy International

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Does it really matter ?

I don't disagree, but you might also mention that the Five Eyes will have no more success merging the data than Google who claims they do not have to merge the data for it to be "useful".

There will no doubt be Lifetime Service Awards given by the Intelligence Industry to those individuals who have stumbled across something useful, although it is not wise to imagine that this is the same thing as winning two Nobel Prizes (Marie Curie, Linus Pauling, others?). That is a whole much higher level of genius. On the other hand anyone can claim to have won two Nobels; just send Google a news tip and wait for it to go viral. If the bill from Google is less than 20,000,000 Krona then according to the rules of Nobel Prizes (different outfit) in Economics then you have won the advertising game.

Good luck on that <owl:sameAs>Nobel Prize</owl:sameAs>

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California Uber Alles: Google wants to become the World Privacy Court

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Point of Order, Analyst Orlowski ...

While Common Law and the Napoleonic Code are prima facie contentious on the subject of excessive remand (bail while awaiting trial) this has long since been cleared up by the guys who wear whigs in the office.

It is therefore safe to say that the "right to be forgotten" is the assertion that no remand under any circumstances is Google Common Law, therefore

1) We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram

2) jake wrote: Fuck google. That works too for me too. Thanks mi lord.

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'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: The new man

Re: The new man

And the parting on the left

Is now a parting on the right

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I'd venture a guess that the little wooden boys at Google do not need longer beards, but rather shorter noses.

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FCC sexes up, er, sextuples 'broadband' speed to 25Mbps in US

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: .. but it makes a difference

In theory, I guess.

If history is any guide, some trademark troll has already snagged

"highband",

"wideband",

"longband",

"Sgt.Pepper'sLonelyHeart'sClubBandAidsForKids", etc.

Which of course will serve as an antidote to any FCC fines.

Or whines, for the tragically too few occasions when the FCC has to explain why rock-stars running a harem is really a good idea, but just needs time.

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How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Breathtaking

"If the merger is allowed, the "new" Comcast will control more than FIFTY PERCENT of the high-speed internet service in the US ..."

True, but being Comcast, they will probably deliver no more than 1-2% actual. People will pay for 50%, of course.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Don't pay the bill

Their Lawyers would then argue that you demanded to be called Asshole and at least they spelled it right, although that could also be attributed to Professional Courtesy as they are the biggest assholes imaginable.

Not paying the bill is on the right track, though. If you could figure out a way not to have been billed double whenever you were not looking would really be progress.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

Re: Well, it could have been worse.

I'm sure if she had been Asian they would have gotten it right - professionalism in customer service and all that.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Upvote

Hereitis. Have you been baptized with your Comcast name yet ?

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Wall St wolves tear chunk off Microsoft: There goes $30bn!

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: MS blamed the Office slump on the transition to Office 365

Agreed.

What part of "Personal" Computers are the marketing wizards having a hard time with ? Gone are the days when purchasing agents risked being trampled to death by IBM Salesmen (They traveled in herds), but also gone are the days when the brick and morter store salesman knew what needed batteries - technically not an up-sale to a captive audience.

Now the captive audience is supposed to know when to send money, not a shock, just a little jolt to remind then who owns the treadmill.

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FTC to Internet of Stuff: Security, motherf****r, do you speak it?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: I would like to offically declare

Yup.

When the electric vacuum cleaner ("a labor saving device") was introduced it led to no savings at all ... Just the thoughtless genocide of dust bunnies as average housekeeping standards improved, in fact.

When you hear how the IOT is going to improve your mind, remember the dust bunnies and how they hid.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Management protocol?

I'm sorry but I don't find that crazy at all, Crazy.

You might want to ignore the (requests)+ to Report For Reconditioning you'll be getting from Human Resources.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Barratry is not Semantics

"Obviously, this is something for lawyers to have fun with: sadly, is a photo-sharing app monitoring your movements really "unexpected" in this day and age?"

Dear Internet Of Things,

Can I call you IOT? Thanks.

This is Barratry, not Semantics. It's somebody else's job to fix!!!!

Don't feel bad, those little lawyer rascals pull this prank on all the newbies. The joke is that "this day and age" really means whatever day we get to Court. Get it? Funny huh? No???? ok, pretend this day and age is the 17th Century. We'll find you a pirate to hang or a witch to burn. Won't that be fun to watch? Come on, cheer up, they do it to everybody.

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SO. Which IS more important to humanity: Facebook, or Portugal?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

Re: Personally.....

+1 I am an American and have never had issues with North, Central or South American beer. My countrymen who want to drink water should know the risks. As that great American philosopher W.C.Fields said, "Never drink water, fish fuck in it."

+1 x -1,000,000,000 for the EU. I never realized you could buy just one bottle. You've two hands, it doesn't seem right, somehow. That said, the European Space Program would be a lot easier to manage if the citizens in the former Portugese colony of Brazil would just stop drinking up all the rocket fuel (Cachaça).

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Personally.....

Drinking untreated Kool-Aide, way way better.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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If you want to put Zuck in his place, pull down the Eiffel Tower

Here's how it goes ...

Every time you give a snipit of personal information to Zuck he is going to try to match it to other snipits. It's not the crime, friends, it's the trial.

If Zuck finds you guilty of being who you say you are, then you have been found guilty before your trial. This is an old philosophical friction between English Common Law and the Napoleonic Code. It turns out that neither ECL or NC had any intention, no way, no how, of codifying a presumption of guilt. Full Stop. But there was a question of excessive remand - can Zuck lock you in Facebook and throw away the key ? Zuck wants this pressing question decided no time soon, but certainly not before Waterloo is refought and and the video posted for all to see. Zuck is a firm believer in Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Speech.

In the meantime, you're guilty of being you because English Common Law and the Napoleonic Code can't make up their minds. EU, are you buying this nonsense ? I would hope that Portugal isn't.

The "right to be forgotten" is an appeal of a completely bogus "guilty" verdict by a self-appointed judge.

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Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Things the Police should do

3) Treat this crime as murder really is: not random, haphazard nor unavoidable, but always tragic.

FIFY

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Just WHY is the FBI so sure North Korea hacked Sony? NSA: *BLUSH*

Gannon (J.) Dick
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So ...

The NSA has determined that the folks at SONY were punked recently by certifying that the Norks were assholes years ago ?

The cuckold is always the last to know, it seems.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

Re: Curious timing

IN-ADDR.ARPA kcolrehs tihs on

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Zuckerberg asks the public to tell him where to go in 2015

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

Re: "gone nearly vegetarian"

Actually I saw that definition (vegetarian=lousy hunter) on the menu of a BBQ joint in N. Texas.

Attributed to Native Americans, hopefully the copyright has expired.

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Survey: Tech has FREED modern workers – to work longer hours

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Thumb Up

"Incidentally, however, only 4 per cent of survey participants said social networks like Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter were essential to their jobs."

Well next time only ask Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter Boards of Directors and nobody else.

Obviously 95% Investors and a few stray dogs includes too many dogs for accurate results. Do it right and sky's the limit 5%, 7% maybe even 8% who knows.

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Judge kills Facebook's bid to dismiss private message sniffing case

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: But it does...

Alright then, so you have stopped beating your wife ...

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Blind justice: Google lawsuit silences elected state prosecutor

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Good article

" Re: Good article

Personally I think Google are doing law enforcement a favour."

Huh ? I thought the Public was doing Law Enforcement a favour by giving them paychecks for work which might prove extraordinarly dangerous. You must mean that Google is helping the Public with that responsibility. Oh. They aren't.

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Hilton, Marriott and co want permission to JAM guests' personal Wi-Fi

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Sleeping Horizontally on a surface with rounded corners

There's an app for that ! Pay up.

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Hold the front page: Spain's anti-Google lobbyists lobby for Google News return

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Money

Exactly ...

Spam, paid for in advance, makes currency (with serial numbers on the bills) for the spammer. It does not increase the pool of profit, which is anonymous value forms - coins, without serial numbers.

Eventually you will be able to melt down your grandmother and use the silver in her hair to buy advertising, to users who dream of having a grandmother like the one you just melted.

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UK slaps 25 per cent 'Google Tax' on tech multinationals

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Coffee/keyboard

I myself have been struggling with a long term addiction to food and shelter.

Been there, done that. You mean there was a T-Shirt too ?

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User flexibility without the risk

Gannon (J.) Dick
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WTF?

"As part of this, where necessary, senior managers need to be reminded that risk management is fundamentally a business rather than an IT issue, ..."

Treat the IT Department better than the paying customers ? Really ?

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Gates Foundation to insist on Open Access science

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Loopholes

"... but it doesn't create a new paradigm for everyone else."

Einstein found a loophole in Newton's denial of Ptolemy. That evolution took 1900 years and Open Access had nothing to do with it.

Newest date on the package wins, never mind the content. The Gates Foundation eats, sleeps, and breathes a model commercial competition useless to scientific progress.

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Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Big Brother

Re: Choice

"And the ranking process does not seem fair and nor is it even published."

It will not be published so it can not be conclusively proven to be unfair by some irritating smarty pants. You know the type, multiple PhD's Nobel blah blah blah.

The Surveillance Society has way too much invested in Google's role as a magician. If Google can find a bunch of Plumbers, after all, then the SS can find all the bad guys with the same magic.

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Are MPs smarter than 5-year-olds? We'll soon find out at coding school – Berners-Lee

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Just so I have this right ...

Coding teaches you to think so in teaching you to talk your parents were teaching you to be slave labor to politicians who know to code ? I imagine that is the way they see it anyway.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: MP Coding

if (Parliament(insession)=true()) {sleep($little_guy)=!(well);}

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EVERYTHING needs crypto says Internet Architecture Board

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Everything in your world needs encryption

Everything in my world just needs to know when to shut up.

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AT&T mothballs creepy customer web stalking system (until everyone's forgotten about it)

Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

As long as the pigs in the Marketing Department are still putting on lipstick to fly, and the pigs in the corner offices have their hams covered by the politically leeward wage slaves in IT, the whole farm is happy, happy, happy.

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Google DoubleClick goes TITSUP. ENJOY your AD-FREE WORLD!

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

Fixed ?

I think "re-broken" maybe ...

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Jony Ive: Apple isn't here to make money. And students shouldn't use computers so much

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Childcatcher

I get it

Apple is not out to make money. They hang around school children because they have candy, not in spite of it. What other icon is there for this ?

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Facebook's plain English data policy: WE'LL SELL YOU LIKE A PIG at a fair

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

"WE'LL SELL YOU LIKE A PIG at a fair"

I read the whole article out of respect for the genius of El Reg, I think, or maybe it's past noon on Friday and I'm drunk already.

After careful reading, I was unable to decern any nuances in the narrative which might lead me to believe the title did not say it all.

We need an separate Icon, for morning reading.

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