* Posts by Gannon (J.) Dick

824 posts • joined 13 Aug 2006

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Let it go, let it go: How global DNS could survive in the frozen lands outside US control

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Easy enough

Might be more interested in agirlfrommars.

If "from mars" was the only thing she ever faked it might work out well.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Easy enough

Simply pointing out that the currency of internet governance is numbers, not names. It will "survive in the cold cold regions outside of US control". ICANN manipulates that currency, they can corrupt the organization of the "sport", but they can't take away the fun (see also: FIFA).

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Easy enough

At a given radix names and numeric pointers are the same thing. The "web of things" [About 721,000,000 results (0.45 seconds)] is not the web of "something for nothing" [About 307,000,000 results (0.37 seconds)] and anyone who over-promises that is a "dangerous fraud" [About 13,700 results (0.40 seconds)].

The results are from a randomly chosen, but popular Search Engine which may rhyme with "Moogle". Notice the result ratios. Now forget that "results" nonsense and note that any assumption of unidentified growth factors in names could result in you flunking Third Grade Math, your mom might forget your birthday, starving to death or at least doing really badly on your Agnostic Farmer* Final.

Ok, I'll explain the last one: If an agnostic farmer goes to Easter, or Passover service at the equator they receive a timely reminder to plant crops. Northern European Farmers don't need reminding, and normally have foul weather which makes the question obvious. Nobody said anything about having to pass a Turing Test to be an Agnostic Farmer.

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Web tracking puts lead in your saddlebags, finds Mozilla study

Gannon (J.) Dick
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reminds me ...

... of the Microsoft discussion way back regarding the number of seconds in which an OS should load to maintain credibility as a product. Somewhere between sleep(30) and sleep(OfTheDead) as I remember.

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If IT isn’t careful, marketing will soon be telling us what to do

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Silicon Valley

The financial people wanted products shipped before they were written. It was a compromise.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Joke

Torn

Having a hard time dreaming of a place where the IT knows what they are doing AND (note logical operator) the Marketing Department is giving orders

A little boy in Texas turns to his mother ... "Mom when I grow up I want to be a musician"

She looks down at him ... "Son, you have to choose, it's either one or the other"

Kind of like that, but without the stolen joke part (thanks Kinky)

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NSA bulk phone records slurp to end when law lapses next month – report

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Cheer up NSA, you only have to do as you're told.

Stop now or the Snowden's who will be protecting your ass and your reputation will just get younger every day.

J. Edgar is just another tart in cheap dress to the kids. Think about it.

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Why does Uber keep its drivers' pay so low? Ex-CFO: 'Cos we can'

Gannon (J.) Dick
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I have to agree, although "thank you" is a bit excessive and "thanks" will do with three fewer expensive letters. As a start-up you could probably go with "thx". Investors would applaud your passion for success. Just don't mention Bnk Rbbry in your business plan. Bankers insist on details ... Othr Peopls Bnks or something like that.

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Google Maps gets hit with racist White House listing

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Big Brother

Have you checked your ADMIN email ?

The long awaited answer is "all the words"

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USA Freedom Act moves forward as House prepares for vote

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Inadmissible ?

"Would it be a shame if the data, metadata and analytics were ruled inadmissible in law court by points of order from some legal eagle?"

Meta Data delenda esse ... not delenda est (wink) (nod)

I have read one theory of spontaneous pshaws (TOSP) which said the NSA is thrilled. For years now meta data has been recognized as 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag costing 100 Pounds Sterling to maintain. No more. The Private Sector owns the Meta Data Porta-Potty.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: USA Freedom Act

"Based on the name, I had assumed it was a bill to end freedom."

more, "someone should find out what that 'freedom' thing is ..." at this point. Eventually the Bill will be signed and Lawmakers will have time to flesh out the details and perhaps even consult a spell checker.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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WTF?

Huh?

"It's beyond belief how little data is a part of the program," Corker said.

Would whoever is responsible for balancing smoke and mirror requirements at the NSA; please call the office

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Legal eagles want dirt on Google's 'right to be forgotten' decisions

Gannon (J.) Dick
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lex parsimoniae ...

Heartening to know that some lawyers think they should be paid to think.

The Philosophers want Occam's Razor back too. It was as useful as transparency is costly.

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NSA spying is illegal? Then let's make it law, say Republicans

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Joke

Re: Discount Cards

"Do the T&Cs for Loyalty cards allow the grocery store to use extraordinary rendition, lock you up without due process and then use waterboarding or other torture if you break any of the T&Cs?"

Never mind that, you mean I could have asked the CIA for a Rain Check ???!!!???

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Mitch McConnell and Senator Burr are being a bit dense...

Bad move ... does Mitch sound like someone who can read* ?

Be subtle, find out where he buys his groceries and have them put a coupon on the back of the receipt for a GED Diploma Mill.

*curiously he seems to be able to breathe under water, from the picture. I thought you had to be a mammal, when did they change that ?

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Where did he learn his use of analogies?

Data Protection laws ?

In the UK, but in the US it is in that "wrong but perfectly legal done all the time but not yet litigated" category; the bread and butter of self-identified under-rich members of the Legal Profession.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: $30 locks....

Define "replace", AC

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Facebook 'fesses up to running an ideological echo chamber

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Childcatcher

A life-long study of political thought leads me to believe that people with opinions contrary to mine represent an existential threat to the resource utilization model of social networks.

A Modest Proposal: They should be eaten.

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US government asks internet community how long it should extend IANA contract

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Happy

Thinking exactly the same thing, Gordon 10

DNS is a dirty, boring job but somebody has to do it. DNS is not a "contestable monopoly" in as defined in certain corners of the El Reg attic (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/04/22/google_and_the_commish_sigh_you_cant_exploit_a_contestable_monopoly/).

If Cyberspace is to be permitted to reinvent itself, then these folks will need to be made into Soylent Green, or sent to Re-Education Camps (http://www.internethalloffame.org/inductees/all). Pity; several of them might be nice, but they are all old and have to go.

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NSA domestic dragnet NOT authorised by Patriot Act, rules US Appeals Court

Gannon (J.) Dick
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The "issues" are better separated.

The meta data collection hazard cuts much deeper than tyrannical opportunities for governments. In a perfect Social Networking World(TM) murder and talking with your mouth full, and drunken Selfies would be one single speedy trial. Problems with that, I think; not the trial but rather who presumes to sit in the Judge's seat.

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Rand Paul is trying to murder net neutrality. Is there a US presidential election, or something?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Coffee/keyboard

Could we start a similar campaign to write to Rand Paul and ask him to kindly ...

Upvote locked and loaded.

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Google versus the EU: Sigh. You can't exploit a contestable monopoly

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Wohoo

"We'll be incrementally creepy and you just tell us when to stop, OK?" is not a monopoly it is blame shifting in preparation for contestability.

Like, you mean we gotta pay Taxes like everybody else ? etc., etc., etc.

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You. FTC. Get over here. Google is INVADING our children's MINDS – anti-ad campaigners

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: "great content shouldn't be reserved for only those families who can afford it."

(see title) You could say the same thing about hemophilia but I doubt it will get any laughs from the House of Hanover.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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"Google also added features like a timer to limit the number of minutes kids could spend watching stuff."

How many ads is that per kid ?

Simple question. Advertising is a numbers game.

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Europe could be drowned in 'worthless pop culture' thanks to EU copyright plans

Gannon (J.) Dick
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A word of advise from Hollywood ...

... hehehe April Fools in five days :)

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EXPOSED: Google, Obama caught doing it once a week

Gannon (J.) Dick
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(Which leads to the delicious thought... doesn't Obama trust the NSA?)

You get an upvote for the correct usage of the verb "to think", but frankly the implications of the analysis gives me indigestion.

Here's why. Google's functional use of data is improper. The functions are not normalized. The NSA may use data in the same dodgy way, but the careerists at the NSA will eventually have to say "No, can't do it, won't work, could kill people ... etc." if only to protect their personal reputations.

Google will never say no.

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Improved Apple Watches won't get more expensive? Hmmm

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Hmmm... smoke and mirrors?

"many are looking at working longer hours"

Not true across the population. We all have more leisure than any previous generations ever did.

--------------------------------------------------

As you noted, Economists are weird, and quite full of shit as well. Your statistics are flawed because they are "across the population" rather than down the Meridian. The sun sets at the same time down the Meridian, but across the Australian population they are planning social events and across the European population they are shoveling snow in the dark so their income does not suffer - a fine use of the leisure time you grant them.

The Luddites were on to something ... the invention of the electric vacuum cleaner did not "save labor", it led to a new normal in housekeeping (and wholesale dust bunny genocide)

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One does not simply ask the inventor of the WWW what he thinks about memes

Gannon (J.) Dick
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It's possible ....

but I think <blink>Google</blink> will first

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.hotels. .hoteis ... not a typo but a window into ICANN's baffling world

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Headmaster

"Last month, ICANN's lawyers asserted that many of the proposed new accountability systems being discussed were illegal under California law."

Shouldn't that be bent over, in front of ?

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Tweak comms laws or Facebook 'n' Twitter folk will be treated like CRIMINALS

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Like criminals ?

pretty soon they'll be treating unicorns like unicorns

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LinkedIn values your privacy at ONE WHOLE LOUSY DOLLAR

Gannon (J.) Dick
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You've had your fun ...

In English Courts the suit may have yielded as much as Pound per person ($1.546).

We're sending the Lawyers to Merry Old next. We suggest you turn out the lights and act sparsely inhabited.

The Merkins

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Finally, a decent use for big data: Weeding out crooked City traders

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: finding crook traders?

Worse, it's a magic needle-stack that turns into hay when you drag it across the equator and it gets bigger if you drag it backwards across the International Date Line.

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Your hard drives were RIDDLED with NSA SPYWARE for YEARS

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Flame

Grzegorz Brzeczyszczykiewicz

Shit. I hate it when I have to find another password for my Mother-In-Law. I'll have to find the old bat something harder to remember.

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Microsoft slurps Apple-happy, Google-tastic Sunrise calendar firm

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: E & E & E ?

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all ?

Actually I think the Firesign Theater ought to sue.

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Gov.UK begs Google 'n' U.S. tech pals: Forget Ireland, come to Blighty

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

Tell them you are emulating their Business Model ...

... then lock them in a closet with a dial up connection a 5000 page EULA and a case of beer.

Works every time.

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Google mouthpieces: 'Right to be Forgotten' should NOT apply on google.com

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: What makes something outdated?

Life is too short to downvote a Dodgy Geezer, so I won't.

I will say that if a 30 year old did a study (work-for-hire) of current bankrupcies for you; sole sourced by Google; your geezer wrath would know no bounds. Nor would mine under those circumstances.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Changing the Norm

Hell no.

Google has prospered by being a serial gamer of Civil Court. Nothing wrong with Civil Court per se, it accomplished it's goal which was to stop duels of honor among gentlemen. Civil Law, on the other hand, had to cohabit an enviornment where those same gentlemen dined on the children of the little people. Nothing too honorable about that. Never has been never will be the case. "Changing the Norm" is a creepy race to the creepy bottom.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Turn about is fair play

You are right Steve, sorry for the downvotes from the Hippies who have federalized data sets, the semantic web (software) and DNS (a deterministic appliance implemented in software) smushed together in their heads. It's a modern form of cognitive dissonance or the placebo effect. Take your pick.

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They've finally solved it: Schrödinger's cat is both ALIVE AND DEAD

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

and when mad dogs and Australians go on picnics the Englishmen are shoveling snow in the dark. It is like they are mad, or something. At least they could get the dogs to shovel.

Oh, by the way, geophysics is not quantum superposition.

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We'll ask GCHQ to DELETE records of 'MILLIONS' of people – Privacy International

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Does it really matter ?

I don't disagree, but you might also mention that the Five Eyes will have no more success merging the data than Google who claims they do not have to merge the data for it to be "useful".

There will no doubt be Lifetime Service Awards given by the Intelligence Industry to those individuals who have stumbled across something useful, although it is not wise to imagine that this is the same thing as winning two Nobel Prizes (Marie Curie, Linus Pauling, others?). That is a whole much higher level of genius. On the other hand anyone can claim to have won two Nobels; just send Google a news tip and wait for it to go viral. If the bill from Google is less than 20,000,000 Krona then according to the rules of Nobel Prizes (different outfit) in Economics then you have won the advertising game.

Good luck on that <owl:sameAs>Nobel Prize</owl:sameAs>

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California Uber Alles: Google wants to become the World Privacy Court

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Point of Order, Analyst Orlowski ...

While Common Law and the Napoleonic Code are prima facie contentious on the subject of excessive remand (bail while awaiting trial) this has long since been cleared up by the guys who wear whigs in the office.

It is therefore safe to say that the "right to be forgotten" is the assertion that no remand under any circumstances is Google Common Law, therefore

1) We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram

2) jake wrote: Fuck google. That works too for me too. Thanks mi lord.

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'YOUTUBE is EVIL': Somebody had a tape running, Google...

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: The new man

Re: The new man

And the parting on the left

Is now a parting on the right

----------------------------------------

I'd venture a guess that the little wooden boys at Google do not need longer beards, but rather shorter noses.

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FCC sexes up, er, sextuples 'broadband' speed to 25Mbps in US

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: .. but it makes a difference

In theory, I guess.

If history is any guide, some trademark troll has already snagged

"highband",

"wideband",

"longband",

"Sgt.Pepper'sLonelyHeart'sClubBandAidsForKids", etc.

Which of course will serve as an antidote to any FCC fines.

Or whines, for the tragically too few occasions when the FCC has to explain why rock-stars running a harem is really a good idea, but just needs time.

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How's this for customer service: Comcast calls bloke an A**HOLE – and even puts it in print

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Breathtaking

"If the merger is allowed, the "new" Comcast will control more than FIFTY PERCENT of the high-speed internet service in the US ..."

True, but being Comcast, they will probably deliver no more than 1-2% actual. People will pay for 50%, of course.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: Don't pay the bill

Their Lawyers would then argue that you demanded to be called Asshole and at least they spelled it right, although that could also be attributed to Professional Courtesy as they are the biggest assholes imaginable.

Not paying the bill is on the right track, though. If you could figure out a way not to have been billed double whenever you were not looking would really be progress.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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IT Angle

Re: Well, it could have been worse.

I'm sure if she had been Asian they would have gotten it right - professionalism in customer service and all that.

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Gannon (J.) Dick
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Upvote

Hereitis. Have you been baptized with your Comcast name yet ?

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Wall St wolves tear chunk off Microsoft: There goes $30bn!

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: MS blamed the Office slump on the transition to Office 365

Agreed.

What part of "Personal" Computers are the marketing wizards having a hard time with ? Gone are the days when purchasing agents risked being trampled to death by IBM Salesmen (They traveled in herds), but also gone are the days when the brick and morter store salesman knew what needed batteries - technically not an up-sale to a captive audience.

Now the captive audience is supposed to know when to send money, not a shock, just a little jolt to remind then who owns the treadmill.

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FTC to Internet of Stuff: Security, motherf****r, do you speak it?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Re: I would like to offically declare

Yup.

When the electric vacuum cleaner ("a labor saving device") was introduced it led to no savings at all ... Just the thoughtless genocide of dust bunnies as average housekeeping standards improved, in fact.

When you hear how the IOT is going to improve your mind, remember the dust bunnies and how they hid.

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SO. Which IS more important to humanity: Facebook, or Portugal?

Gannon (J.) Dick
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Pint

Re: Personally.....

+1 I am an American and have never had issues with North, Central or South American beer. My countrymen who want to drink water should know the risks. As that great American philosopher W.C.Fields said, "Never drink water, fish fuck in it."

+1 x -1,000,000,000 for the EU. I never realized you could buy just one bottle. You've two hands, it doesn't seem right, somehow. That said, the European Space Program would be a lot easier to manage if the citizens in the former Portugese colony of Brazil would just stop drinking up all the rocket fuel (Cachaça).

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