"MobileMe also offers remote data wiping"

That sounds useful, where can I get this MobileMe service?

Can it now fry eggs twice as fast?

Flames, because it's hot as hell

Surely

a damp squid would be a good thing, better than a damp squib at least?

die whiners

Annoyed with exclusivity deals? Quit whining. Never used a shop, vending machine, public transport, bought a car from a showroom, took a flight, lah lah lah. Wake up and smell the coffee - these beans exclusive to Starbucks obviously...

Mines the one with the earplugs so I can't hear you.

@Gmail fail

Mmm, our Exchange 2007 server crashes my Outlook at least once daily, at least gmail (my personal fallback) had the decency to ship with the beta label on it - despite it being far more reliable.

video sharing?

Paris, because video sharing is always a painful experience - no matter how fast the upload...

Number 6

Surely the spinning beachball of death, indicating that your Google Earth has crashed...

3g or not 3g

"Palm hasn't given the Pro a forward facing video camera though in the real world this is hardly a major oversight. Does anyone ever actually make 3G video calls?"

Apparently you need that for video conferencing, as mentioned in the Reg review of the iphone 3G:

"And despite the 3G upgrade, there's no front-facing camera for video conferencing."

Mines the one with the Jesus phone in the pocket, I swear you can see the virgin Mary weeping in the default wallpaper.

"kit and component prices are generally set in dollars"

We should have tried a bit harder to keep JVC and Freescale semiconductor open in East Kilbride and made all that junk ourselves instead of importing it.

Mines the one with the P45 slip in the pocket and the footprints all over it.

Thanks for the warning

Still time to poke my eyes out with a sharp stick before I catch sight of this vision of beauty...

Rotten oranges

Will it come with a nasty Orange logo plastered over it and one of the most useful functions from the menu removed and replaced with a pointless shortcut to the orange wap site / music store...?

Been to Japan recently?

See many digital radios there? No, they love FM and that's good enough gadgety advice for me. Most of the owners here in the UK must have got them as giveaways on Virgin - the BBC can't say that Virgin haven't helped spread this (as well as so much other) drivel.

Icon? From my cold dead hands...

Ready for something

"a device which offers no local encryption, and unknown central management systems"

Now approved for use in all government departments...