A more bloated pile of bollocks I have never seen. Well - except Vista, obviously
My company jumped on the UML bandwagon a couple of years ago, insisting that every project we did from then on was modeled in minute detail using Rational Rose. Of course, they never factored in the extra time it was going to take so, not surprisingly, it came in well over time and over budget. But I digress.
The thing that struck me after we'd finished though, was the fact that the only diagrams which seemed to be of any use to someone unfamiliar with the code, were the relatively simple Use Case diagrams and the classic class diagrams. All the other crap that we spent our time drawing provided very little that a code walk through couldn't (assuming the code is well documented, which as professionals we always do. *cough*).
Still, we now have a couple of ring binders full of very pretty pictures, which no one will ever look at, but someone is still going to have to spend a fair amount of time updating whenever the code changes.
Paris, because she sucks as much as UML does.