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* Posts by Steve Evans

2376 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Dead Steve Jobs tried to KILL Ashton Kutcher from beyond the grave

Steve Evans
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Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

I know I can't really compete with the temperature willy-waving that's going on here, but a couple of weeks ago I did have a snowball fight whilst wearing nothing but swimming shorts and flip-flops.

8 feet from a 35c thermal bath - with a bar - bliss :-)

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Steve Evans
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actors are strange.

Put his system out of wack? Sounds perfect for later in the film, unless he'd already got the liver removal scheduled.

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Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama

Steve Evans
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Re: Dammit

Or at least 72" is what's going on the insurance claim...

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Pope: Catholics, go forth and multiply... your Twitter followers

Steve Evans
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Gentle voice of reason?

There is no reason in religion.

(it's missing an a and an s)

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‘That’s not art’ says Apple as it pulls nudes from AppStore

Steve Evans
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A country founded on the idea of freedom and escaping religious persecution... You could have fooled me!

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Smooth criminals spared the clink for hacking Sony's Jacko archive

Steve Evans
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Re: Smooth Criminals

Sorry, yes, I meant amazingly low compared to what we have become accustomed to seeing. Not amazingly low for what they had actually done.

I agree. For once the punishment actually looks right for the crime.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Smooth Criminals

The goods never left the possession of the owners. They didn't steal anything, they copied the files. The owners were never deprived of the files.

Still an amazingly low sentence. How they avoided extradition hearings I will never know.

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Astronaut yells FIRE ... from SPAAAACE

Steve Evans
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Re: All that technology to get a man into space

Hope they cleaned the outside before they left... Birch of a job otherwise

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North Korea's satellite a dud, say US astroboffins

Steve Evans
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Re: Failure?

Enemies within? You mean like all these homegrown terrorists we're supposed to keep an eye open for?

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Sinclair ZX Spectrum FAILS latest radio noise rules SHOCK

Steve Evans
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Re: "abject" ?

A nice shielded case would do wonders...

Egor, break out the evostick and tinfoil!

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Steve Evans
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Re: EMC who cares?

You should try the Home Hub 3's standard PSU.

When I first got Infinity I couldn't work out why my previously reliable network of power line kept failing to link.

A few tests later, and I found it's the cheap PSU BT supply chucking too much noise back down the mains!

Binned it.

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The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet

Steve Evans
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Classic :-)

Much chuckleth over here as I read this... With my browser over the open Delphi 5 IDE.

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Tor node admin raided by cops appeals for help with legal bills

Steve Evans
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Blimee...

I class myself as a bit of a data hoarder, and I have a tendency to keep old machines and recycle them. I also take a lot of photographs and store them in RAW form, but this guy has twice as many PC's as me and blows my online storage completely out of the water...

100TB... At home... In a flat?! Although I do wonder if there is a bit of Daily Mail style reporting going on as I only saw 2 HP Microservers, which even when modded with extra SATA cards are not going to account for 100TB.

If he truly does have 100TB, I can't help but suspect the cops will find something amongst all that data which will hang this chap completely out to dry.

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His Holiness Benedict XVI to tweet to his Catholic flock

Steve Evans
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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

A plague of downvotes?

All this time I just thought I was upsetting apple fanboys. :-)

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Steve Evans
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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

So Mr downvoter, which humourless, intolerant group would you belong to?

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Steve Evans
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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

Good thing you opted for Anon... You've just upset two huge angry mobs!

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WD to crash down five terabyte desktop job, mutterings suggest

Steve Evans
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Paris Hilton

I think it should be measured in the number of 1080HD copies of Paris' only genuine claim to fame it can hold.

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MIDI: 30 years old... almost

Steve Evans
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The picture they currently show does indeed have a USB connector shown, but right next to a pair of standard 5 pin DIN midi ports.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and spare you a down vote. Several haven't been so generous!

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Facebook tries to stop its staff using iPhones in 'dogfood' push

Steve Evans
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Re: BBC News

@DougS

I wonder how many of the iOS devs actually do make money. If they weren't already a Mac owner, they would have had to purchase one before they could even start developing. Not a good start to the bottom line!

The Android dev suite runs on anything, and costs nothing. Maybe this explains why a lot of apps are decidedly amateur.

@Craigness

Now that is odd. What version do you have? I've just checked on my vanilla Nexus 7, JB 4.2 and there is no update. BBC News Version 1.1 is what I have.

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Steve Evans
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If they are supposed to be supporting a wide variety of devices, they need to be testing on the wide variety of devices.

So far the Facebook Android app always seemed to lag behind the iOS version, even though Android is the dominant mobile phone OS.

So they needed to do something to give their staff a kick up the behind to at least get them to more accurately reflect the real world user base.

It's not just FB. How often do you see "The hit app now available on Android!!!", answer, a lot. How often do you see "The hit app now available on iPhone!!!", answer not much. For whatever reason, iOS always seems to get the initial attention. It will be interesting to see if this changes if the ipads dominance of the tablet market is threatened.

Now if only the BBC could be given a similar kick... Their Android iplayer is horrendously low bitrate, and their news app doesn't even do basics like rotate, let alone take advantage of larger tablet real-estate.

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Samsung Google Nexus 10 tablet review

Steve Evans
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""we can't even see them (i.e. the competition) in the rear view mirror" being a particular favourite of mine"

Maybe that's because you only see things behind you in a rear view... ;-)

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Steve Evans
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Re: "Adding more pixels when the iPad is already 'retina' seems a bit like doing it for the hell of

What amazes me is that the whole world wasn't sitting there going "Oh my god, those huge square pixels, they hurt my eyes!!!" for all those years before Apple (sorry, Apple's LCD manufacturing suppliers) brought along "retina".

And you know what... A large proportion of the world are still using those huge pixels without screaming in pain or going blind... Weird eh?

Although I'll have to admit I enjoy Apple fans re-arranging their arguments now somebody else has brought an anaconda to the willy-waving competition.

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Steve Evans
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@Davtom was Re: Why the downvotes?

"With Android devices, it's easy; you plug it in and then select "Mount file system" on the device"

Plug it in?

How quaint... I just turn on the FTP server installed on my Nexus 7 and send it over from my desktop! ;o)

(Or open the FTP client and suck it over).

I generally find iOS (and OSX for that matter) over protective and simplistic. Trying to do complicated things is either impossible, or buried. For your general Joe/Jane Bloggs in the street I guess this is great, but unfortunately I'm the guy they then ring up with the terrifying "Hey, Steve, you know about computers and stuff right? Well I have this problem with my iphone"...

I think I'll stick with my 'droid devices.

Having said that, I probably won't be buying an N10. The iOS OS wasn't the only reason I didn't buy an ipad. It's just too damn big! I really don't think I have a use for something like that. The N7 in my pocket is perfect for just that reason. It is in my pocket.

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Just bought an Apple product? Need support NOW? Drop an F-BOMB

Steve Evans
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Re: Downvoted? What??

Thank you Charles! I had wondered about the downvotes myself, but then I remembered this is El Reg, so logic goes out of the window!

As you may have guessed, I too did several years working in the computer telephony industry, this included systems with voice recognition. As you know (and other probably don't), DTMF detection is usually performed on the telephony card, it's occurrence generates an interrupt so the processing application can then service the telephony card and point it to a new prompt or transfer the call etc. Voice recognition is usually farmed out to a specialist card, or to the main CPU as required.

Having a CPU or dedicated cards capable of continually processing audio from all the 30/60/90/120 inbound channels (modern systems usually have coax/fibre connections) is just crazy. Sure it makes the programming easy, just bind all the resources one to one instead of the more usual round robin pool allocation, but blimee that's gonna cost on the hardware!

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Steve Evans
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This would only work if the queuing system kept a constant, unique, audio link from you open at all times. Whilst this is technically possible, many IVR / Autoattentant systems simply connect you to a common audio source (music on hold, comfort messages), and don't bother listening to you unless they really have to.

The resources required for speech recognition are also pretty high, so it would need a pretty beefy system to be performing speech rec on every inbound channel 100% of the time. Usually these resources are only allocated when required, i.e. when you've been prompted to say something.

So whilst it might work on some queuing systems, and the idea that an Apple system would be "spying" on you all the time isn't exactly shocking to me, I wouldn't go banking on it working in every situation.

You'll probably have more luck having a keyboard mash (don't forget * and #) and finding a get out of jail that way.

Alternatively, and preferably, just spread the news of the terrible support far and wide. This will reduce the number of customers, and hopefully you position in future queues if you haven't seen the light and taken your business elsewhere.

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BOFH: The Great Patch Mismatch

Steve Evans
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A slippery slope...

If you're going to explain what a Halon system is, where are you planning to stop?

Relays? UPS? Patch panel?

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Sailboat cracks 100 km/h for first time

Steve Evans
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Wow!

That is pretty damn rapid... It's mad enough doing that kind of speed in a powered water craft, but at least you have control of everything (bar the waves). Pulling that kind of speed at the mercy of the wind - mental!

It's also nice to see people in their rightful places too. Brits doing the design thing in their sheds, and a crazy Aussie piloting it. That's how it should be!

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Plan to let you phone people up from within Facebook

Steve Evans
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I think FB know enough about me already, without knowing who I called and when!

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Texan schoolgirl expelled for refusing to wear RFID tag

Steve Evans
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Re: Quite right too!

I thought the simple, student style method of rejecting this system would be to anonymize it.. Just swap tags with each other every couple of days.

That way the powers that be would know where students go, just not which ones.

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British Ruby conference cancelled after diversity row

Steve Evans
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Re: What a prat!

Nice answer Chris! lol!

If there's one thing HR are more scared of than being seen as non-PC, it's being hit with a wrongful dismissal case!

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Steve Evans
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Re: What a prat!

You've got to have some kind of racist chip on your shoulder if you start checking out the ethnicity of the speakers.

People should get a spot on the podium purely on merit, and nothing else.

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Skype 3.0 lands on Android tabs, says all your bass are belong to it

Steve Evans
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Re: Just updated...

Yup, landscape only... What a superb advance... *rolls eyes*

I haven't tried it in video chat yet, but I bet I can guess what happens... If I hold it landscape, I'm sideways to the other person, if I hold it portrait I look correct to them, but their picture is shown sideways to me.

I'm going to roll my eyes again because I'm going to need the rotational practise soon!

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Oprah Winfrey tweets her love of Surface – from her iPad

Steve Evans
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Stop Press: Celebs will say anything for cash.

"a plug from Oprah has been enough to send product sales up more than 600 per cent."

You mean they might actually sell two dozen?!

Seriously though, anyone who thinks Oprah, or the UK version, Stephen Fry, are the Oracle of all things technical (and supremely knowledgeable about devices available for only a few days) really do deserve to be parted from their money.

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Super-thin iMacs WILL be here for Xmas, cram warehouses even NOW

Steve Evans
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"cram warehouses even NOW"

You mean they won't run out and give the Graudian lots of "tech" headlines to write?

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Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

Steve Evans
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Re: So it's a swipe from the left, and then a move to the right...

I'm not hanging about to see if Ballmer's coming onto the stage in fishnets!

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US paper spaceplane disintegrates at 107,000ft

Steve Evans
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Accepted engineering practise would be to build in a safety margin.

Given the weight difference between a 4gig and 32gig SD card is negligible, they're a bit daft not to go for the bigger card.... If they were already using the largest card available, increasing the shooting interval would have been a good idea.

And why stop shooting when it reaches altitude? That misses all the "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" shots on the way back down again!

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BBC iPlayer downloads BORKED by Adobe Air update

Steve Evans
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Re: Annoyingness ^ N for some large N

Get_iplayer works fine in windows, although I did have to pay with it a little - manually update rtmpdump to get all the shows to download correctly...

I wish rtmpdump would sort out the 32bit arithmetic issue (or just make it unsigned!), then it would cure the max show length issue - that only kicks in at about 3 hours (funny to watch the counter flip over the top and start descending toward zero before going boom!) so not a major issue. I only noticed it when grabbing some Olympic stuff.

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Steve Evans
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Re: People still ...

As opposed to what? Paying for 20 minutes of adverts per hour for sky, or lowest common denominator "reality" shows with premium rate phone ins on the commercial channels?

Apart from the news, I watch almost 99% of TV shows "off-line" from either iplayer, PVR recordings or torrents when I've forgotten to record something, or the main UK channels stop showing a show after a couple of series and I have to resort to US recordings to keep watching.

Generally the BBC are pretty good, but their handling of the F1 coverage (sharing it with SKY, and only showing 50% of the races, with the rest being high-lights) is just a farce. I gave up on F1 at that point. God help them if they ever screw the MotoGP up like that!

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Steve Evans
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You mean something like: "Jimmy Savile virus penetrated my tablet due to BBC incompetence!"

?

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Steve Evans
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Re: Testing, testing, 1-2

They're probably too busy w*nking over some reskin for their retina ipads/imacs whilst ignoring the non fruit majority and then fobbing them off with half-hearted efforts.

For example, the Android BBC News app doesn't even rotate!

Anyway, back to the subject... get_iplayer does indeed work... Very nicely thank you.

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Apple to settle with Samsung? Korean honcho: 'Fuggedaboutit'

Steve Evans
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Re: Of course they won't

Settling does not mean HTC have admitted guilt, they just looked at the bottom line figures (lawyers) and falling profits and realised it wasn't financially viable to fight...

Given the way some of the judgements have gone I don't blame them!

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Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

Steve Evans
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Re: Wow

Engadget must have been reporting smartphone figures which have Samsung top with Apple second. Nokia are way behind.

These charts are for all phones.

Unfortunately for Nokia, the big profit is to be made in the smartphone arena.

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Sorority girls gone WILD: '1 to 3' casual sex 'hookups' every MONTH

Steve Evans
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Re: Should that not have been

Boner-finding

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Apple granted patent for ebook page-turning

Steve Evans
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So a patent for producing an animation which copies real life? Hardly an inspired idea is it.

God help the first mouse that learns to speak, Disney are gonna be on them like a ton of bricks!

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Analyst: There are LOADS of iPhone 5s, Apple is keeping them back

Steve Evans
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Re: Impressive number

Want one model... Okay... Samsung Galaxy S3

Copy/paste from cnet:

"The latest sales figures from the numbercrunchers at Strategy Analytics show the S3 top at the tills, shifting 18 million phones in the last three months. Meanwhile 16.2 million iPhone 4S blowers changed hands."

I'm making an L shape with my right hand against my forehead... That's for you that is.

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Steve Evans
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What?

Apple throttling supply to cause hype?

I don't believe it.

I'm convinced that they're just completely shite at managing supply and demand.

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Crafty app lets phones send data by ultrasound with speakers, mics

Steve Evans
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Re: Hmmm...

A thought came to mind last night (as they do)...

Surely a faster (and less annoying) way to transfer small chunks of data over a short distance already exists...

QR codes!

Most phones can already read them via the camera, so you just need a generator app on the "source" phone.

Obviously this is one way, no hand shaking or anything like that, but for most uses instances this would be able to send far more data, far more reliably and wouldn't annoy the pets (including children).

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A bitter spill to swallow, or 'how to smeg up your keyboard'

Steve Evans
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Worst...

The worst clean up I had to do was a Thinkpad with Orange juice.

The "offender" had spilt it at home the night before, and left it. By the morning the Orange juice had dried out, and left all the pulp caked onto the keyboard and motherboard.

Luckily Thinkpads are good for spares, so I skipped trying to clean the keyboard and just bought a new one for £30.

The motherboard had to come out and went into a bowl of water and be left to soak to loosen up with bits of orange fibre and sticky goo.

Soapy water and toothbrush followed. Then a rinse, dry and finally all the little contacts and switches were cleaned with contact cleaner.

Amazingly it survived!

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Steve Evans
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Re: Anyone else..?

I remember accidentally spilling my cornflakes (with milk) over my BBC Micro when I was a wee nipper.

Off came all the keycaps and into the sink they want. The keyboard PCB was then disconnected and cleaned with soapy water under the tap. Finally rinsed from the water butt in the garden (rainwater is soft to avoid lime-scale problems!).

Keycaps got bagged up in a towel and then a "spin dry" over my head.

Unfortunately after a few days there was a funny smell, so the entire motherboard came out. All socketed chips were removed, and then that got the soapy water toothbrush clean and the rinse in the garden.

Result, it stopped smelling funny, and worked.

In fact it still works.

They don't make 'em like that any more.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Simple solution

I really dislike typing on Apple keyboards. They're too flat, the keys don't have much travel, and they always seem to have a bit of side wobble too. I don't think they feel much different to a Sinclair Spectrum with a hard plastic cap stuck on the top... Oh, hang on, that's a QL keyboard. Yes, that's what they feel like to me.

I can understand the need for a flat, short travel keyboard on a laptop. It keeps the thickness down, and you want a laptop to be <25mm thick (<15mm in Apple-land). But a desktop? Come on! Let's have a nice solid keyboard with a positive Cherry click please!

Plus my cat won't walk on my big clunky keyboard, but happily wanders all over the Mac one, and even sits on it. Makes a mighty fine mess of any document you might be writing if you happen to forget to lock the desktop before going to make a cuppa!

"What on Earth are companies such as Apple thinking? Anyone would think they had deliberately designed their peripherals to be irreparable, forcing you to buy replacements more frequently than was previously necessary. Ho ho, as if."

Yes, as if... Have you ever tried cleaning the bits of lunch and dead skin out of an Apple mighty mouse? The bloody thing is glued shut.

I regularly clean my 5+ year old Logitech mice, and have no problem, the use two screws (shock horror, witchcraft!) but when the Apple rodent died on my other half's Mac I gave up, cursed and bought her a Logitech too. Luckily she hasn't completely succumbed to the church of Apple so I could get away with it. It also means she got a 27" 2560x1400 Dell monitor with a far more useful non-reflective panel for half the price of the Apple equivalent.

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