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* Posts by Steve Evans

2300 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Startup crafts DVD-Rs for the 31st century

Steve Evans
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@Adam 52

Hopefully in 1000 years, Lawyers will have been made illegal...

Then again, given the way patents are issued these days, I imagine the entire planet populated by lawyers, nobody produces anything new, and they spend their days issuing counter suits to each other...

In this light, maybe DVD will still be a known media format!

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Security researchers unpick botnet economics

Steve Evans
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A question I've often wondered...

If you're in the market for a load of credit card details how do you go about it?

Surely you won't want to give your card details to a shadowy figure who makes a living from selling card details!

And as the shadowy figure selling card details, would you trust a prospective customer who is after card details, to be purchasing with a genuine one?

So how is the financial transaction carried out? The shadowy figures obviously needs this to be unregulated and untraceable or they'd get caught/shutdown.

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Lexus unveils hybrid

Steve Evans
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The problem is...

The fuel consumption figures might be impressive for a vehicle of its size, but if you really wanted to be green you'd get yourself something far simpler, smaller and lighter.

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Picsel Technologies goes dark

Steve Evans
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@A/C 21:21

The Acorn kit isn't that odd really. Most mobiles have ARM chips inside, and ARM is an offshoot of Acorn. The Archimedes being the first consumer machine based on the technology.

If those really were the Phoebe machines, you just saw both of them! Rumour has it they only made two prototypes!

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Nokia sees sales, shipments and profits slide

Steve Evans
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@A/C 16:00

I don't know what you do to your telephones but I've never broken a Nokia.

6310, 7650, 6600, N70, N95 and a few older ones whos model number I have long since forgotten. All working perfectly last time I used them, and would probably still work if I could find the box they're in... Might need a new battery, but hey, user serviceable! ;-)

The N95 has been dropped, had cola spilt on it when it was only 3 days old (thanks to my younger brother) closely followed by me running it under the tap (the logic being that water has got to be safer than cola!), and it's still working perfectly.

Sure the early firmware was a bit iffy, bad battery life etc, but within a month the new firmware arrived and it's been great ever since. Each new firmware release has added little things. 2 years of daily use and abuse, no complaints.

I web browse with mine with Opera Mini, I use VOIP and IM with fring. I take pictures and send emails.

It did start to clog up a bit when I had over 2000 messages in the SMS inbox, but come on, what do you expect. Backup the messages to the PC (just in case), wipe the inbox and then try to be a bit more tidy in future!

As soon as Orange decide to release the N97 I'll be popping into one of their shops for a play, then if I like it, on the phone to upgrade line to barter a good price.

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Vulture Central plans Brit-Yank dictionary

Steve Evans
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Happy

Pronounciation...

Oh I'm glad I'm not alone with the rOWter cringe.

For the 'merkins, we pronounce the network device "Roo-ter", and the woodwork tool "rOWter".

Also Jaguar is pronounced Jag-You-Are, not JagWaaaah.

Oh, and 'merkin is slang for American... Cos a brit saying "A Merkin" sounds like an American saying "American"... It also happens to be a pubic wig, which just seals the deal in my book!

To go out and get pissed on a Friday night is a normal evening involving no anger. It is also quite common to nip outside work and suck on a fag for five minutes.

Saying "You're mad/crazy" to someone in the UK never seems to cause the same look of horror you get if you say it to a foreigner. I can only assume the rest of the planet are having doubts about their sanity or anger management.

UK ----- US

Tramp = Bum

Bum = Ass / fanny

Arse = Ass

Ass = Mule

For some reason there seem to be a huge number of words only one step away from your backside.

Talking of which... In the UK, a Lady will not ask if her fanny looks big in something, and nobody has a fanny bag!

Use of such words will cause instant smirks from all Brits in a 100ft radius.

Oh, and just because we're lumped in with Europe, don't sit there going um and erm when it comes to measurements and such like, we can use both metric and imperial (we've been using them longer than you have!), and hop back and forth between them depending on which is the nicest number. Much to the annoyance of the French.

Annoying the French is our reason d'etre after all :-)

And remember, just when you think you understand everything an Englishman says, he can just switch to English English (See Austin Powers sketch with Michael Caine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgPH0tYXJrA).

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Zombies bite into Symbian smartphones

Steve Evans
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FAIL

First known...

Except for the previous version...

Ermmmm....

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Endeavour heads for ISS on sixth try

Steve Evans
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Crammed?

13 people in 240 feet is hardly cramming them in! That's over 17 feet each!

Transport for London would get thousands into that kinda space (I mean the 17 feet, I can't calculate how many they'd get into 240 feet!)

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Google data center born without chillers

Steve Evans
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My idea...

They really should install data centres next to municipal swimming pools and saunas.

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Fancy dropping into Pitetsbkrrh?

Steve Evans
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@mittfh

It's never a good idea to blindly use an online translator, have you not seen the Asian bar?

http://failblog.org/2008/07/22/translation-fail/

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BlackBerry snoopers can explain everything

Steve Evans
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Why?

Why on earth would an operator need to intercept SMS messages at the phone, they operate the messaging centre, so surely if they wanted a copy of messages they can pick them all up here, and nobody would be any the wiser!?

Same goes for emails, they operate the data carrier the phones receiving and sending emails via, just listen for those conversations on port 110 and port 25.

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Unpatched Firefox flaw lets fox into henhouse

Steve Evans
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Early adopters...

BEWARE!

I'm still waiting for some of my add-ons to be updated for 3.5, so I'm still on 3.0.11... Maybe I'm safe... Maybe I'm not... Anyone know?

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Dubya surveillance exceeded warrantless wiretaps

Steve Evans
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So...

Politicians lie.

Politicians spy on the public they are supposed to serve.

Politicians break laws...

Sorry, but I can't see what's news worthy here, it all looks pretty normal to me!

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Apollo 11 moon mission reincarnated as website

Steve Evans
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Scary...

Scary to think that the PC you are accessing their site on has far more processing power than the computer that actually got them to the moon in the first place.

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Most IT pros not planning on Windows 7 rollout

Steve Evans
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Well...

Any IT pro who wants to be an early adopter and recommend an unknown system in a professional environment really deserves all the headaches they get!

The only reason you started to see Vista in the business workplace was because new machines came with it... Although most got back-graded to XP.

Remember the moto, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. So why would businesses, or anyone that depends on their PCs "need" to move to Windows 7? What is the "must-have" feature?

The only things that do push businesses along the upgrade path are the aforementioned machines that arrive with new OS, and M$ dropping security updates for the earlier OSs.

We'll wait for the first service pack and all the hardware drivers to catch up thank you very much.

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iPhone makes eyes at T-Mobile and Orange

Steve Evans
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I would have thought...

...by now, anyone that wanted an iPhone would have bought an iPhone, even if it was on O2!

The fanboys will always be upgrading and wanting the latest incarnation of their religious icon, so they will stick with the 3GS and O2's exclusivity.

Which will just leave the old models being pushed by T-Mob and Orange, to people who really probably aren't that interested.

Standby for the T-Mob and Orange marketing to go on a iPhone frenzy to a customer base that just really aren't that interested.

Which is a pity, as there are plenty of other good phones out there which they could be concentrating their efforts on actually releasing... Like the N97 for starters... Orange are you listening!

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Olympics loses tech provider

Steve Evans
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FAIL

@Ricky H

Exactly. I'm a UK native, and I don't know anyone who's excited by the Olympics. The only people enthusing about it are the ones close enough to either bask in it's glory, or more likely, bask in it's bank account.

The only long term benefit I'm hoping to see is the mobile sweat box (sorry, tube), might get some air conditioning. I'm lucky that I don't work in London, but even on a weekend trip a couple of weeks ago I bailed from the tube and walked two stops just because I couldn't face changing line and melting any longer.

Honestly, who came up with this whole idea of needing an Olympic village etc etc? We have a stadium, the new Wembley, we have pools (although there is actually a criminal lack of Olympic length ones, but I'm sure we can find one), why does everything have to be next to each other? The fact the sailing is going to be on the South coast proves that they can manage the logistics. Guess we should be grateful they didn't try to dig a new Solent below Stratford!

Personally I think I will be taking advantage of some empty plane seats (I love a haggle) leaving the UK when it opens, and some empty plane seats to come back when it finishes.

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Phorm: How it went down

Steve Evans
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Annoyingly...

I'm sure there are hundreds or start-up companies with some really good (non-intrusive) ideas who would love to have even a small slice of the cash which Phorm has had thrown at it.

Then again, given recent events it's obvious that the last people who know what to do with cash are the banks!

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RIP tennis gal's DD jubs

Steve Evans
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Unhappy

@Anonymous Coward 18:34

That Mr A/C is a very good point... Unfortunately a tad late...

*sniff*

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UK tabloid in phone hacking probe

Steve Evans
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How depressing...

That guessing a default voicemail password of 8888, 0000 or 1111 is now classed as hacking.

Pity they didn't pick the number of the american ambassador or they'd be sitting on the plane next to UFO Gary.

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Orange UK exiles Firefox from call centres

Steve Evans
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FAIL

Worried...

As much as I like Firefox, I find the idea that call centre staff would even have enough power to install a new application of any sort onto a PC rather worrying!

Surely call centre droids should have an account that is locked down so tight they should count themselves lucky if they can toggle the caps-lock light!

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The 3G map Ofcom didn't want you to see

Steve Evans
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FAIL

Pah!

"People buying 3G dongles should note that they have little chance of using them outside the M25."

Yeah right...

My other half bought a 3 USB dongle... The map showed her area was high strength, and it should work inside the house without any problem.

She could barely use it by putting the laptop on the window ledge! It ended up taped onto the window on a USB extension lead! Hardly the image they portray in the blurb!

I gave her a few choice quotes from the sale of goods act "unfit for purpose" being the main one, and she went back to the shop.

Oh, and what deserted part of the country does she live in... Lambeth!

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Short URLs in spam skyrocket

Steve Evans
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Actually...

If the likes of TinyURL did something a little active, using a redirection service might actually save our more gullible surfers...

TinyURL scans destination of link, if it's a virus/trojan, it redirects the "victim" to a page telling them to beware of links, and suggesting some antivirus products.

In fact they might not even need to check the target, I'm sure a mass emailing work spewing links will generate a visit spike so large even a blind mind could notice it!

It's certainly far faster to take down a shrunken URL than it is to just and get an ISP to block/turn off a compromised site hosting the malware.

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Sir Alan Sugar hits eject button at Viglen

Steve Evans
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Makes a change....

That someone in politics actually retreats from business.

Usually they do the opposite, they are employed for their expertise in the running of Govt, winning contracts and the like... A more obvious conflict of interest I have yet to see.

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Ukraine slaps ban on all porn

Steve Evans
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@A/C 12:36

"Feminists always want porn banned (for men at any rate,) because they want women to have some hold over men."

I think you'll find that a nice pair of boobies can have a hold over men at a range of up to 50 feet!

Mine's the one with the medical research DVDs in 57 pockets...

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Office admin sacked for Blears abuse

Steve Evans
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FAIL

Posting from a work email account?

Epic fail.

Bite your lip, and then post your comment from home.

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Tory Lady tries to give bodice-rippers the snip

Steve Evans
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So...

A book about a chainsaw waving maniac removing the breasts of your virgins is okay, just as long as he doesn't have wood.

Brilliant. Proof if it were ever needed, that the lunatic are running the asylum.

Can we have a "Will the last person to leave turn off the lights" icon?

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Air NZ rolls out naked safety vid

Steve Evans
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LOL!

The blonde girl was having trouble keeping a straight face... I wonder if there is a blooper reel?

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Steve Evans
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I've answered my own comment...

The bloopers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsLy9Y7KsVI

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Russian's Bulgarian airbags burst mid-flight

Steve Evans
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Ouch...

I was on a flight last year coming back to the UK from mainland Europe. On that flight were a couple of children who had obviously been to some party or event. They had helium balloons, unfortunately not the rubber kind of balloon, the shiny metallic look plastic film type... The type that doesn't stretch very well.

About an hour after take off there was a *bang*... Needless to say you have never heard such a synchronised intake of breath in your life!

We spent the rest of the flight looking at the other, rather strained looking balloon with distrust.

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Users claim iPhone 3.0 GPS mis-map mishaps

Steve Evans
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Excellent...

Thanks for today's booboo...

I look forward to tomorrows.

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iPhone 3.1 code goes beta

Steve Evans
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@A/C 2nd July 00:10GMT

Ahhh, I must admit I also didn't have the foggiest idea what the new "feature" was in the original article was supposed to do too..

In the UK, the spelling of phone numbers is pretty much non-existent, so to a non US resident it's not really obvious what the feature actually does. It just sounded like they had missed out on the ability to copy/paste a phone number when they recently implemented copy/paste.

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Man jailed for snooping on police database

Steve Evans
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@J 3 and A/C

How do you get car registrations of Catholics?

Sit outside a Catholic church with a pen and paper on a Sunday.

Simples

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iPhone v Pre - the celebrity smartphone deathmatch

Steve Evans
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What?

No mention of the "likely to spontaneously combust, and as you can't remove the battery, you're gonna have to chuck the whole thing into a bucket of sand and watch it melt." category?

Re the iPhone apps... 50,000 apps... Woo... How many of them are actually useful?!

Plus, would a Pre owner, unlike a Jesus phone owner, be allowed to have an app showing naked boobies on the phone he owns and has paid for?

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Joost gives up the ghoost

Steve Evans
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FAIL

Oh yeah...

Oh I remember this... I think I still have the beta stand alone app installed somewhere...

I used to try it every now and then... The streaming sucked. I don't know what bandwidth it required (the image quality didn't look like it would need much), but it was completely incapable of working out how much it should buffer in advance to provide smooth playback.

Result, 10 seconds of video, 20 seconds of waiting... 10 seconds of video...

I would say "repeat until end of video", but nobody puts up with that for a whole video.

Come to think of it, I don't think I even watched a whole video when it did actually stream (wind blowing in right direction etc), cos there wasn't anything worth watching!

Without content it's going to be pointless... And given that BBC, ITV, Channel4 etc all have their own view on demand system (which do stream quite nicely), I don't think they'll be able to get it.

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Firefox 3.5 - it's not a 'web upgrade'

Steve Evans
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Tabs?

Sorry, are those new Tab powers new?

I've been using the TabMix plus add on since Firefox2, and I'm pretty sure I have always been able to do drag tabs between windows, resurrect closed tabs and restore previous sessions.

Are you *the* person on the intarwibble who's using Firefox without any bolt on toys?

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Masked passwords must go

Steve Evans
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Troll

Muppets...

Honestly, if they're trying to get a reaction out of a large body of people they should just make a Michael Jackson joke in public. Not pretend to be some kind of techie expert.

Only a couple of months ago a UK MP had to resign when a photographer managed to photograph and read a top secret document he decided to carry under his arm in the open as he walked the 5 paces from his car into #10 Downing street.

Given the quality of photographic equipment available even to amateurs, you just don't know who is looking over your shoulder, they could be doing it from 50 feet away easily.

The reason shoulder surfing is not a problem is precisely *because* passwords are replaced with stars.

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Steve Jobs finds part-time work

Steve Evans
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@WhatWasThat?

Given that the human body only contains one liver, I doubt the donor will be doing anything bar decomposing!

Now kidney's they're different, humans come with a spare, and if you donate one, the other will actually enlarge to help deal with the load.

Sorry to shoot your joke down - it did amuse me... Honest!

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Apple races developer to censor smut

Steve Evans
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@Jimbo 7

Ah, but you can get behind the wheel of a 5+ litre V8 plastic car at 15!

The mind really does boggle... I think I'd prefer the 15 years olds to be doing the drinking, and not allowed behind the wheel of the vet until 21... Preferably older!

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Steve Evans
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Jobs Horns

always amusing...

...that the USA consider themselves the land of the free, yet almost daily, the free are told what they can and can't see, what they can and can't watch by a bunch of puritan conservatives.

Back here in old England, the place many of them left for "freedom", a 16 year old can get their top off and "show 'em" in a national paper.

And we can all look at them (if we choose).

It's great :-)

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Why would anyone run their own base station?

Steve Evans
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Eh? What? When?

Is this a solution without a problem?

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Ten of the best... iPhone beaters

Steve Evans
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@ClammyLammy

Agreed.

I use the internet on my N95 all the time. Mainly via wifi points as I'm tight! lol!

I've won ebay auctions and chatted to friends using skype over wifi from various parts of the planet. Taken some cracking pictures and uploaded them onto facebook to annoy friends who weren't on holiday :-)

I have a couple of microSD cards in my wallet, one for my music and the other for storing pictures and video.

Total cost of all these features... £0, phone was a free upgrade. OperaMini free, Fring free.

The main reason I went with OperaMini is it allows me to turn off images on a website which keeps the data bill down if I happen to browse via my carrier instead of wifi.

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Nokia N97

Steve Evans
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@JeeBee

"It's a phone for 2007 released in 2009."

You mean like the iPhone was until only recently... Small camera, no flash, incomplete implementation of text messaging.

It's only just managed to record video FFS!

Actually that's pre-2007!

Re: navigation, it's called Nokia Maps, it's available on the older phones like the N95 too... And it doesn't require a network connection to navigate, you can preload a MicroSD card (oh yes, removable storage has been quite normal for many years too). Which means it's fast, and also that you won't be bankrupted when you use it to navigate in a foreign country as it doesn't need a roamed data connection to download local maps.

Sure it doesn't have the user interface of the iPhone (a million lawyers will ensure that), but it also doesn't have the level of user restriction St Jobs forces upon his flock. Plus of course it's made by a experienced mobile phone company, so you know it's going to work perfectly as a phone. It's not just an iPod that's had a phone bolted onto it.

Mine's the asbestos one.

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Steve Evans
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Alert

Re: awww diddums

Interesting you call the iPhone a mobile computer... Have you given up trying to use it as a camera phone now? I have a couple of friends with them, and their signal is always terrible.

As for the N97... Have faith Nokia boys, give it a firmware release and check again. Or you could just wander into a shop and try it now and form your own opinion.

The N95 had more than it's share of problems when it came out. Bad battery life, slow camera (although still 5mp), bad memory management and some problems with 3G, but Nokia sorted all that with firmware revisions.

And remember, this is a Nokia, so you know it will be a damn good phone with a damn good signal. Able to send text messages to huge groups of people, and support MMS right out of the box. You know, things real phones have been able to for years.

Pity about the speakers, the N95's are wonderful, but at least it has some.

As for the price comparisons, who pays the website price for a phone upgrade on a contract?! Ask for their best deal, say you'll think about it... Ring back next day and ask for the PAC code... You'll be amazed at the new offer... I'm looking forward to my bartering this time, there is a credit crunch after all....

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Is your cameraphone an oxymoron?

Steve Evans
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@A/C 25th 14:27

Agreed. If anyone tries to bore you by claiming a DSLR in RAW has the dynamic range of film he's an idiot. Even in 14bit RAW on a Nikon D3 you have be careful not to blow the highlights, and compensate to sacrifice shadow detail instead.

One day someone will invent a sensor that can handle a range of 12EV or more, until then, we'll have to use a bit of skill to get the shots :-)

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MS no-frills security scanner gets thumbs up in early tests

Steve Evans
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What a strange collection of countries...

Not available in your country or region

You appear to be in a country or region where the Microsoft Security Essentials Beta is unavailable.

This beta is available only to customers in the United States, Israel (English only), People's Republic of China (Simplified Chinese only) and Brazil (Brazilian Portuguese only).

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11 Time Lords plan charity shindig

Steve Evans
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Ummm....

"Never before have all the Doctors been in the same room, let alone in the same show."

That would be never before except the last time Children in Need did this...

http://www.drwho.org.uk/7doctors.html

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Street View solves Dutch mugging

Steve Evans
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Mugger school

Lesson 1

Don't jump your victim in front of a Vauxhall/Opel car carrying a dozen cameras on the roof.

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US record industry wins $1.92m from file sharer

Steve Evans
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LMAO!

If there was ever a sign that a Judge should be put out to pasture for completely loosing his grip on reality, this is it! Is he on commission or something?

No wonder the RIAA is embarrassed, it makes them look stupid, and they know they haven't got a hope in hell of ever getting that kind of cash out of her.

If she were a UK MP caught on the fiddle it appears she would be entitle to just pay for the face value of the songs and consider the case closed!

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Royal Navy sailors hurl Ronald McDonald into Chilean harbour

Steve Evans
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I remember...

A Pizza hut near me managed to loose a Ja Ja Binks, which stood at least 7 foot tall, from one of their establishments. It was in the furthest corner from the door, next to the till... Yet nobody saw anyone walk out with it!

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