* Posts by Steve Evans

2390 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Chris Morris jihad film good to go

Steve Evans
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Brilliant!

Let's hope this gets past the thought police and released!

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PM: UK airports to get perv scanners next week

Steve Evans
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Re: It's not so bad

Do you often find invasive security checks that stimulating?

If so I'm sure you could request the full body cavity search.

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Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

At some of the small airports like Grenoble the luggage x-ray is right behind the check-in desk and if they see something amusing they call their mates over and put the bag through again. So now when I'm flying from there I try to arrange any cables I have in my luggage into a smiley face.

So I was wondering if I cut out letters of aluminium (aluminum) foil and stick them to my body, can I write messages for them?

"The guy behind me looks shifty"

"These are not the droid you are looking for"

etc.

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Car-stopping electropulse cannon to demo 'next month'

Steve Evans
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Re: brake/steering failure

Power assisted steering is incredibly heavy on modern cars with their low profile tyres if the assistance stops. Now imagine you are fleeing from the feds at speed down a bendy road when they hit you with the zapper.

Having an automatic gearbox (like most Americans) you have little engine braking, so think you'll bail out and run once you're out of view round the next corner. You hit the bend expecting the steering to be nice and light, and it isn't, you don't have time to grab the wheel with both hands at 6 o'clock and start manually heaving it round before the car/tree interaction occurs. Sure it still works, but even if you were expecting the new super heavy weight you can't spin it from lock to lock in anywhere near the couple of seconds you could when it was assisted.

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Opera and Firefox downloads soar after IE alerts

Steve Evans
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Probably quite good too...

The last thing we need is the population starting to think uk.gov has a single clue about IT.

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Air France offers two-seat deal for fatties

Steve Evans
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Odd...

I'm 6 foot and 33" inside leg, and I can handle a Fly n scare trip okay.

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MS spins IE security disaster into Windows 7 upgrade opportunity

Steve Evans
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Gates Horns

If XP + IE6 is so bad...

Odd they didn't mention you can just go download IE8 for free and stick it on your XP machine.

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Man Utd imposes social networking ban

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

The idea of Wayne Rooney dragging his knuckles across the keyboard is just too funny for words!

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Discrimination warning over airport body scanners

Steve Evans
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Re: Political Correctness gone mad!!!

Not at all, please don't try to tar me with any bigot brush, it won't stick.

Did the lorry drivers in Yorkshire complain when they were getting regularly stopped during the hunt for the Yorkshire ripper, because the profile suggested he was a lorry driver? Did they scream that no lorry drivers were being stopped in Kent? Did they demand bus drivers be stopped too? No, they understood the logic and the need to find him.

If an Englishman is suspected of a crime when I am on abroad, and the cops decide to question me, will I scream that no French people are being picked up? No, don't be stupid, I'd understand the logic.

Would I expect the local cops to waste their time picking up Germans, French, Poles and Spaniards just to make me feel better? No, I'd rather they found the person they were looking for.

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Steve Evans
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Stop

Grrr!

Sod the PC crap, can we please use our brains. I'm sorry but our current terrorist threat comes from religious extremists who are generally non-white.

Back when the IRA were attacking the UK mainland, people with Irish names or Irish car registrations would be stopped more frequently. This was common sense, but these day we can't use the same sense as those determined to blow us up just happen to be from a different ethnic group.

If this PC crap continues to hamper and restrict investigations it won't be long before black women are being asked for DNA to assist in the investigation of a rape where the suspect was described as a white male, purely because focusing on white males would be profiling...

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No World Cup anthem for England football heroes

Steve Evans
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Coat

Hmmm....

You never know, it's not like there would be much point in her singing for Scotland is there...

Mines the one with earplugs in the pocket

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China's doomed attempt to hold the world to ransom

Steve Evans
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Interesting...

Except I have to point out one thing... As you say "Technology moves on"...

CRT Phosphors Granddad!!!

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Lightning catches up with Thunderbird

Steve Evans
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Yup...

And even better than M$ has ever managed, it really is English, not American!

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Next-gen iPhone rumored for April

Steve Evans
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Oh dear...

No mention of a flash on the damn camera then?

I wonder if Facebook could implement an automatic block of "Uploaded via facebook mobile for iphone" notifications instead, I'm fed up with my "friends" continually uploading silhouettes of people!

Please, please add a flash, even a little LED flash would do. The fact it has gone on without one for some long is just a joke.

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European court pulls plugs on terror stop and search

Steve Evans
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What a load of bull...

Policing and Security Minister David Hanson MP said: ”Stop and search under section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000 is an important tool in a package of measures in the ongoing fight against terrorism."

Oh really... Would he like to back this up by telling us the total number of terrorists that have been found by completely random stop and searches... Let me take a wild guess at how many... A big round zero.

Very important then...

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Steve Evans
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And...

Cameras... Don't forget the evil insidious photographers out there that must be stopped!

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Orange rolls into the banking business

Steve Evans
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Gotta laugh...

I received one of the Barclaycards with the Oyster built in last year.

For a couple of minutes I was actually quite impressed by the level of integration (and data mining potential) they had achieved.

Then after reading between the lines of the enclosed spin, I realised that it was no more integrated than me gluing my existing Oyster card to the back of an old credit card. I still had to go to the Oyster site and set up the auto top up by entering my credit card number.

So went happily back to using my same old Oyster (never registered, always topped up with cash). I don't mind them collecting anonymous travel data, I'm just prefer to make sure it is anonymous.

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Sarko gets crypto mobe after BlackBerry ban

Steve Evans
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Normal service...

The French are well known for looking after their own industry, so implementing a ban on products produced outside of the country is normal. They did exactly the same with the SECAM TV system. Everyone else went for PAL or NTSC. The Eastern block countries got SECAM because it would prevent the Poles et al from accidentally picking up the news from Germany and other bad Western countries.

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UK prosecutors drop 'tiger' sex video case

Steve Evans
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Paris Hilton

Stand by...

Any time now they'll be a new law along...

Possessing Extreme porn offensive to deaf people.

Paris, no explanation required.

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25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

Steve Evans
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So....

Does this mean the banana will now become the El Reg unit of measurement for drugs?

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Orange punts quality calling

Steve Evans
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Pah!

I'd just be happy with a signal in my house.

It used to be fine.

Then about a year ago it got worse... A month or two later I got a text message telling me that they had performed some modifications to my local cell and I should notice an improvement in the signal.

It's been the same crap level ever since.

I can move the phone 2 inches on the table and it will go from 2 bars to nothing. Earlier today as I picked it up it had 4, I looked in disbelief, and then they all vanished.

Oh, and I'm talking old 2G signal here, let's not even go near the 3G signal level!

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Today is not New Year's Eve - or the end of the decade

Steve Evans
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(why does a reply need a title?)

That's correct. Isn't that what he said?

year divisible by 4 = leap year

Unless it's divisible by 100 = not leap year

Unless it's divisible by 400 = leap year.

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Yorkshire lass eBays cheating boyf's Xmas prezzies

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

So they split up on the 22nd, so how comes she has the presents he bought for her?

Sounds a bit odd to me too...

Plus technically if he bought them, and never gave them to her, then they are not hers to sell... Aka theft.

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The best (of the worst) patent claims of 2009

Steve Evans
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Haha...

I love how Apple's glove has to solve a problem that they have created. Resistive touch screens work fine when you touch them with anything, only capacitive ones, like the ones used in the iPhone, object to being touched by non conducting objects and require a glove with holes cut in it!

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5-megapix 'iPhone 4' set for June?

Steve Evans
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Not sure...

I know 3 people with iPhones... One is a complete fanboy, so of course he wouldn't tell me if he ever had a problem, but I did laugh when he dropped it and cracked the screen.

The other two are girls who just bought it because it was the "in thing", neither of them are technical. One constantly complains about it freaking out and doing weird shit (in her words she hates it) and the other seems to have an iPhone (or maybe O2) induced text message delay. I've sat there next to her this week, both with a good signal and sent messages between my Nokia and her iPhone. Sometimes they arrive instantly, other times they take a few minutes. In one case a message took 2 hours, and sometimes they've just gone missing. Messages from her to me turn up pretty much as you'd expect, within a few seconds.

Now I don't know if this in a problem with the Orange/O2 interconnect or whatever, but until I proved this to her in person (and showed her my sent history) she thought I'd been ignoring her!

The iPhone is bad for your social life!

Sure the iPhone has a great interface, but I still don't trust the technical bit underneath it all. The half hearted attempt they made of implementing the SMS functionality in version 1 is enough to make me worry.

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Steve Evans
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But...

Are they gonna put a damn flash on it this time, or are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives looking at mobile upload pictures in facebook with really badly lit faces?

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Ofcom sets 60GHz free

Steve Evans
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Until...

It rains!

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Fujitsu workers picket London HQ

Steve Evans
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Scrooge outfit?

You sure?

If I were him I'd keep well away from Stockwell tube station!

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Iraqi insurgents hack US drones with $26 software

Steve Evans
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Grenade

Genius...

What idiot doesn't encrypt military signals... Oh, hang on, you answered that.

I'm unsure how useful being able to view the feed is. Oh so you can see if the drone is coming for you without having to look up at the sky, big deal. If it's heading for you you're f*cked. If you run it just draws attention to you and you're f*cked.

Having a collection of recording from previous missions just sounds like a macabre youtube... Link?

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Official: British telly really is almost all repeats

Steve Evans
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I'd rather...

I'd rather have a repeat of Quincy or Kojak than watch yet another premium rate phoneline financed quiz/bingo/roulette program. Channel 5 barely gets past midnight before it hangs up any pretence of making real content.

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How Google became Microsoft: A decade of hits, misses and gaffes

Steve Evans
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the iPhone has nabbed 50 per cent of worldwide smartphone usage

Do we have to debunk your figures yet again?

Honestly I trust HM Govts usage of statistics more than El Reg at the moment!

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Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Steve Evans
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"She was, however, cuffed on 18, 22 and 26 April"

Well no wonder she got over excited!

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Durham police demonstrate DNA will stuff you

Steve Evans
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"whitish crystal/whitish powder when crushed"

You mean like sugar or salt then?

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A Deadlock Holiday

Steve Evans
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Wonderful...

I've never heard mutex described with the uses of toilet cubicals before, but I shall be using that simile in future! great stuff...

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LINX failure slows UK net traffic

Steve Evans
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Still...

Sounds like a capacity problem... If all your nodes are running at 90%+ a failure of any node will overload the others and cause trouble, so it's hardly a well designed redundancy system is it.

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iTunes gifts Blighty 12 freebies of Christmas

Steve Evans
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Big artists...

...but I bet the tracks are the album filler kinda tripe.

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Nikon D300s DSLR

Steve Evans
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Movie limit...

I believe the movie length limit isn't imposed by the memory card but by the sensor.

All sensors warm up during use, and the longer it is active the warmer it will get, this will eventually start to introduce noise into the image.

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Steve Evans
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Look on the bright side...

There is good chance all your old Nikon lenses will work just fine on a new digital body.

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Steve Evans
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Nice if you want a camcorder!

Unfortunately the Canons are still lacking on the still features. 19 AF point? Is that the best you can do? I can't see that managing the 3D focus tracking like the D300, which really has to be tried!

And last time I used a Canon the spot metering remained in the middle even when the focus point was moved. Can you say D'oh?!

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EFF seeks answers from Facebook police

Steve Evans
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Friend whores

So don't be a friend whore, or if you must accept every friend request, learn how to use the different privacy levels and group features.

Personally I keep my friend list down to about 100 people tops, and regularly have a cull of the pointless, inactive or annoying ones, this can even include relatives.

Oh, and it does help having a common name too.

Privacy theory sponsored by wood for the trees research :-)

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Nokia sues LCD makers over price-fixing

Steve Evans
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Pity...

Nobody bothers to turns the anti-competition laws against the oil companies who meet together to fix prices in something called "OPEC".

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Serial slurry fetish man jailed again

Steve Evans
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WTF?

This man doesn't need prison, he needs sectioning!

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Generators and UPS fail in London datacentre outage

Steve Evans
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Testing sometimes backfires...

I remember back in the 80s when I worked for GEC/Marconi, they decided to do a generator test one weekend.

So they kicked them off, and they both started... Within a minute one stopped so they went to have a look at the problem.

Whilst being ignored the second one felt lonely and decided to catch fire. Luckily there was an onsite fire brigade who came round in their little red landrover and tackled it.

Unfortunately the fire, or extinguishing caused the mains electrical feed to trip, and the entire data centre was plunged into darkness.

We had a great 5 hours of doing sod all in the office on Monday morning as the operators were still trying to get the mainframes to start up!

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What ever happened to storing pics with electron cannons?

Steve Evans
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Ummm..

Still readable as long as you keep them stored in a nice controlled environment. Photographic film degrades too.

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Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week

Steve Evans
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@Daniel

I don't think the "You're cute, do you come here often?" line is going to work on The Moderatrix.

Try more grovelling, pleading and begging; scatter with profuse apologies, the words "Maam" and "Mistress", and you might just get away with some red marks across your behind.

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Kent Police exceeded powers in too-tall photographer case

Steve Evans
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i don't believe they took one...

He was detained, searched and then dearrested in the street/van.

DNA samples are normally taken at booking in the station.

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Police smoke out 300-pound frozen turkey thief

Steve Evans
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Errrr

That doesn't exactly sound like the description of a starving man does it!

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iPhone conquers half the (smartphone) world

Steve Evans
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And now for some less skewed figures from Gartner...

According to figures released on 12th Nov, 09 by Gartner, world’s leading information technology research and advisory company, Microsoft’s mobile OS witnessed a downfall from 11 % of the global smartphone market in Q3 2008 to 7.9 % later this year. The iPhone’s share saw a rise to 17.1 % from 12.9 %, and RIM’s share had risen from 16 percent to 20.8 percent. Symbian’s market share fell with 10% from 49.7 % to 44.6 % over the same period The new open-source Android operating system did not have any market share in Q3 2008, however, in Q3 2009, it had managed to capture 3.9 % of the smartphone market. Palm’s WebOS had 1.1 %, and other Linux-based mobile operating systems had 4.7 %

17.1% != 50%

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Steve Evans
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Skewed...

True title should be...

iPhone users suffer more ads than other smartphones!

I'm sure it was only a couple of weeks ago I saw a graph of smartphone OS use (probably on here) which had Symbian at least double the iPhone.

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