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* Posts by Steve Evans

2300 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Coin-sized nuclear isotope battery minted

Steve Evans
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Happy

Sorry...

I apologise... I didn't mean to completely turn this comments page into discussions about pennies, dollars (and their etymology) and ice-lollies (Popsicles).

Although it does give me a sense of perverse pride that I have the disruptive abilities of an EMP at google central.

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Steve Evans
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Well...

The author did say "Penny", and not being an authority on embossed dead US presidents I let him lead me astray!

Okay, you can have the name penny for your one cent, please look after it carefully... We won't be needing it when our glorious leaders (sorry, I mean representatives of the people) finish selling us up the river (The Seine or Rhine probably) and inflict the Euro on us.

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Steve Evans
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Headmaster

Hmmm...

Silly Americans, that's a one cent, not a penny... Does it have the word penny or pence written on it? No... Now go and find your own names for things and stop nicking ours!

You know you can do it... You managed it with popsickle (*sniggers*)

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Nissan demos leaning e-car

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

Looks like fun...

But this looks like more

http://www.yikers.com/video_top_gear_reviews_the_carver.html

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Ralph Lauren DMCAs thin Photoshop skills

Steve Evans
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I just tried something...

If you look at this picture laid flat on the table, from about a 5 degree angle, it actually looks right.

So all I can assume is the advertising jerk responsible looked at the preview from this same perspective when he approved it.

Now what could he have been doing with his nose right against the top of his desk? :-/

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Hotmail phish exposes most common passwords

Steve Evans
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Weak

You should see the restrictions Barclays put on their online system before introducing their annoying pin-sentry thing...

Length 6-8 characters

No numerics

No repeated characters

Case ignored.

Personally my big worry is social networking sites. You know the main one I mean, the one that offers to add all your messenger friends by taking your messenger username and password when you sign up... I declined their kind offer, but given the number of people who turn up on my friends suggestions, many of my messenger contacts jump at the chance.

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Nokia N97 Mini out this month

Steve Evans
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@Georgees

I assume you've had extended experience of the N97 then?

Strange, as mine works fine with V12 firmware, and I'm looking forward to what V20 has to offer later this month.

Don't believe everything you read in online reviews, unless you want your nose inserted up the rear passage of Mr jobs by proxy.

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Freeview website titsup ahead of big retune

Steve Evans
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Explain this...

How can enough people that need instructions on how to retune their freeview box manage to operate a webbrowser?! Press "menu", select something like "setup", oh look, there's tuning.

I just wish there was a way of making that bl**dy info box go away once and for all. I get sick of seeing it every time I switch to ITV/C4/Five.

It's not like I even need telling. I have to retune frequently anyway to get channels back, or find alternative copies of them I can hop between when the wind is blowing in the wrong direction.

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Blind one-legged man wins arse-kicking contest

Steve Evans
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Dead Vulture

Tut tut...

You've been very very lax recently, and even a story like this, one a Friday, which is literally screaming for the treatment, fails to get Playmobil'ed

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Bank sues Google for identity of Gmail user

Steve Evans
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OMG...

So someone who can't type an email address accurately is sending commercially sensitive data over an unencrypted communication medium...

Why on earth was there even a flat-file containing all this information laying about for this employee to accidentally send?!

I agree with A/C 02:45, Google should quarantine the email whilst waiting for confirmation, but I don't blame them for being careful, I'm sure there are 101 laws in the US about interfering with with the postal service which some lawyer or other would love to try to apply to email systems.

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Met steps up stop and search with mobile phone scanner

Steve Evans
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Errrr

Okay, so currently the phones are stolen and then shipped out to somewhere like Africa, or they have their IMEI number changed so they can still log onto UK networks.

So now with the new scanner, they well have to add "Scratch the barcode" label off. Sure it looks suspicious, but we still have innocent until proven guilty in this country... Or are they going to sneak that one out through the backdoor and give it a quick bullet between the ears at the same time?

I'm sure it won't be long before the naughty people can start producing convincing looking replacement labels.

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Twitter-based mafia game irritates world+dog

Steve Evans
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On FB too...

Friendface has been taken over by gangsters and oddly enough farms recently.

I guess they need a source for the horses heads.

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Disconnection phone scam targets UK consumers

Steve Evans
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Saw this...

Saw this on the TV news this morning, I thought it was quite cunning.

What I did think was pretty strange was the BBC insisting on showing a map of the UK and highlighting counties where it had been reported.

Ummm... Does anyone want to point out that telephone cons aren't exactly geographic! Come to think of it, the same goes for the Police, why are West Midlands investigating and not national?

Quick guys, West Midlands Police are investigating, we're moving to Scotland, stop dialling 0121 use 0131...

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US software firm sentenced for 'trading with the enemy'

Steve Evans
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Ahhh...

Glad you made the comparison to the mp3 fines...

$14,500 must be such a huge sum to a company involved with oil exploration.

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CSI boffins: You can't ID crims from bitemarks on victims

Steve Evans
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Puts fingers in ears...

CSI can't be wrong, I can't hear you lalalalalalalaaaaa

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IBM tries to patent teleconference sound effects

Steve Evans
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Alert

Thank god...

There are some ideas that deserve to be patented and then licensed at such horrendous rates that nobody will ever implement them...

This is one such idea.

I never thought I'd say this, but US patent system, please do us proud and grant this one (well you grant pretty much anything else!).

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Peugeot looks to 1940s for quirky e-car design

Steve Evans
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WTF?

WTF?

What kind of drugs are they feeding those designers?

I've seen firemen cutting corpses out of wreckage that look better than that!

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T-Mobile's G2 denied the update Touch

Steve Evans
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Unhappy

Updates...

Orange have always been terrible for updates too.

My original N95 would still be on V11 and crashing if I hadn't hacked the phone to be a generic Euro model. It is perfectly stable on V30 now. Even better, voip works over wifi now too.

Sometimes the problem isn't the carriers though. For some reason even unbranded uk n97s are currently stuck on v11 when world+dog has had v12 for a month. It's not even a feature adding update, it fixes well publicised bugs!

I can feel another hack to generic euro model coming up!

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US Spec Ops operates psywar websites targeted at UK

Steve Evans
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Pint

Cheeky buggers...

"Looking for operatives fluent in "English (British dialect)"

That's just called English, it's you that speak a dialect thank you!

They can even correctly pronounce the last letter of the alphabet in that large country just north of you.

To be honest we've been under the influence of American paranoia for years. We didn't need half the security and paranoia we have now when the IRA were blowing up bits of British territory for decades, and they had sources for real explosives like C4! The moment the yanks get a taste of it, the world goes mad!

Mr Jones was ahead of his time... They don't like it up 'em.

s'laters, I'm off for a 20floz britney in the rubber down the frog.

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Australia mulls botnet takedown scheme

Steve Evans
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I'm amazed it's not already done...

Given how much ISPs over sell their bandwidth, I'm amazed they don't have anything which detects excessive SMTP traffic.

I know some ISPs have actually blocked outbound SMTP to anything except their provided mail servers, which is a good start.

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Asus' Eee keyboard out next month - official

Steve Evans
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@Grease Monkey

Outside of point of sale consoles and hospitals where the ease of cleaning comes in, what's the point of *any* touch screen!

Honestly, since the iPhone everyone seems to have gone touch screen insane! Sure on a small device with no other pointing device input I can see it has a use, but on a PC with a mouse? I'll pick the mouse every time! Far more accurate, plus of course you're not sticking a huge great digit over exactly what you need to see to press!

"Oh but I can do multitouch image resize, look how cool I am!", okay, fine... Now crop it to exactly 200x200 pixels... I'll race you... I'm just going to make a cup of tea, don't wait for me, I'll catch up...

Until someone invents a transparent finger, to me touch screen will just be a way of selling more finger print removing window cleaner!

I was interested in the idea of the eeeKeyboard when I first heard about it, but now it's just going to price itself out of a useful bracket because it has a pointlessly small touch screen stuck on the side of it... Ditch the damn screen and I might come back.

@Matt 89 - My R52 thinkpad doesn't have one, and it still managed to get a designed for XP sticker... Curious... So no I don't use it, Ctrl-Esc is a perfectly usable alternative. Although it's slightly annoying when I want to do Windows-L to lock the desktop.

@Michael C - That's a VGA port. It has 15 pins in 3 rows. Serial has 9 pins in 2 rows. It also has HDMI... Is that enough external monitor support for you? As for folding... Hmmmm... Well I have a hacksaw?

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Apple gobbles world's flash memory

Steve Evans
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@Henry Wertz 1

"or likely more since they are probably getting the flash below spot."

I should hope so... If they're pulling in that kind of volume and not getting a serious discount they shout shoot their procurements team!

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Church altar smites devout Catholic

Steve Evans
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Illogical religion...

It does always amaze/amuse/worry me...

People are involved in huge vehicle accidents, their entire family is wiped out, but they survive... Then they say something crazy like "God must have been saving me for a higher purpose"...

Errr, excuse me, he's just wiped out your spouse, child and parents.... So he's either trying to really ruin your life and plunge you into the pits of depression, or he was seriously trying to kill you and just didn't take the airbag into account!

I still remember when I heard Tony Blair prayed for guidance before deciding to be G Dubya's poodle and invade Iraq... Religion, the only time you can listen to voices in your head, not get given a nice white huggy jacket and still be left in control of a country!

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Apple welcomes music streaming to US App Store

Steve Evans
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Megaphone

64kbs Nothing heinous, to be sure, but noticeable

And that's compared to 128kbs?

Good grief man, clean your ears out, or go listen to some old vinyl of something. I won't inflict anything lower than 192kbs on my ears, and I prefer far higher.

As for streaming audio over your carriers data connection, well I hope US "Unlimited" data is more unlimited than the UK version!

Shouty shouty as you're obviously deaf!

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Twits twitter while driving

Steve Evans
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Blunt object...

The problem is the UK law says it's illegal to use a phone whilst driving, and driving is defined as operating a motor vehicle... So far so good, but operating a motor vehicle also includes when you are sitting stationary.

I never text whilst I'm moving, but I will freely admit to sending texts when I'm stationary in traffic... They're usually something like "Stuck on the f****** again M25 again, I'll be a bit late". I'll also check my texts when sitting at red lights. I'm stationary, the hand brake is on. Sometimes on the M25 the engine is OFF! Where is the danger in that?

It's certainly safer than some of the cars I see driving on the road with kids playing up in the back and the parent who should be driving are spending more time looking over their shoulder than at the road ahead!

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Orange data users turning red as data dries up

Steve Evans
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Perfect...

Perfect example of why you shouldn't go with one of these wonderful discount packages of mobile, broadband et al from one company. If they have a big problem with their network you're going to be screwed.

I might have an Orange mobile, and my broadband might be from the masters of cr*p, Tiscali, but hedging my bets across them and I've not been without my TCP/IP packet fix for years.

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A phone in every car gains hard-won GSMA support

Steve Evans
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Black Helicopters

Hmmmm...

I assume this is an automatic system, as a manually triggered one would have little advantage over the mobile phone that everyone already owns.

So where does this system set its threshold? I've had some serious accidents (serious as in lots of mangled metal), but when I've rung the cops all they wanted to know was that everyone was okay and that details were exchanged. They didn't even bother putting in an appearance.

So I can see the police being alerted to many many accidents they wouldn't normally bother with, and probably lots and lots of charges of undue care and attention being thrown at everyone for being silly enough to bump into each other. No such thing as an accident any more.

Actually, I can see every Sainsbury's and Tesco car park packed with automatically summoned emergency vehicles!

The more suspicious of you will already be thinking about this factory fitted GPS GSM system which is but a small data packet away from being a 24/7 vehicle tracker.

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Ohio armed robber asked victim for a date

Steve Evans
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Stupid...

This is really not very bright... Even less so when the victims were described as a "couple"...

He really does have his animal magnetism overrated!

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Apple yanks C64 emulator from App Store

Steve Evans
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New advert tag line...

The new iPhone

You'll forget who actually owns it.

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Custard Creams can kill: Official

Steve Evans
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Tim tams...

What about the tim tam challenge, that's an instant scolding risk if ever I saw one!

@sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD - We can get them in Pomeland too... Along with the Polish jaffa cakes which I hate to say, are even more smashing orangey than the originals! Assuming you opt for the orange flavour of course, they have a choice!

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Microsoft pulls Windows 7 balloons from Euro 'launch parties'

Steve Evans
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Well if all the paranoid hype is to be believed...

...surely for an accurate ethnic make-up every house in the UK should have some straggly bearded suicide bomber hiding in the corner?

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Labour calls for free Wi-Fi on trains

Steve Evans
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Only in Scotland...

Ah, that would be because that's where all the Labour hierarchy will be going back to when they loose the next election!

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Lotus details meths-drinking hybrid e-car engine

Steve Evans
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Errrr...

"cylinder block, cylinder head and exhaust manifold all part of a single casting"...

I won't ask what those curious bolt like lumps are on the exhaust manifold attaching it to the cylinder head are then...

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Worm wiggles through weary WordPress

Steve Evans
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"Applying an update might be a chore"...

Not if you've set up wordpress properly it isn't.

You click the "update" link, and it does it all for you in a few minutes.

(You do take a backup before of course)

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Conficker borks London council

Steve Evans
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WTF...

I thought it was bad enough that TFL (Transport for London) had systems levelled by Conficker earlier this year, but now approaching the 1 year anniversary of Microsoft's patch which prevented Conficker, local authorities have still not protected themselves against it.

Does anyone know of a vacancy in local authority IT admin, sounds like a cushy job, it's obvious they don't do f*ck all!

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Startup makes thin clients look chubby

Steve Evans
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$300?

Given that you can buy a netbox for less than this, and then use the netbox as a thin client with a bit of linux, why would you want to buy one of these? Sure it's really small, but given the user will have a monitor of 17"+ on their desk, and several netbox manufacturer provide a mount to bolt the box onto the back of the monitor, I can't see where the benefit of the extra size reduction comes in.

As for no CPU... Of course it's got a processor! Silly sales spin. I can't see anyone implementing ethernet, USB and video without a processor or some sort!

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Faux Facebook 'friend' takes US woman for $4,000

Steve Evans
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Stranded in London...

Yes, it's the middle of nowhere, there's no US embassy you can go to for assistance, all you can do is use facebook (via some medium unknown) to beg for help.

As the saying goes, "A fool and his money are easily parted"

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Music industry cooks UK government's piracy stats

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

If they had any sense, the government would not want to piss off 7 million people.

I'm sure that's more than the number who voted for them last time, so it would be a very good idea to make friends with them, and not enemies!

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iPhone MMS hits US on September 25

Steve Evans
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@Simon Banyard

If the American carriers had sorted out their interconnects like Europe did way back in the 90s, you too would have found what a useful technology the SMS system is, but because the US networks were so unreliable at SMS exchange, everyone resorted to email to send each other messages.

SMS and MMS are GSM standards, not Nokia/Ericsson or anyone else's.

A cross network, cross manufacturer, cross country message push system. If you have a mobile number, you can send them a message (with our without a picture). Most phone contracts include a few hundred of these a month, if not unlimited. So there is no cost.

This cultural difference is one of the reasons the iPhone took so much stick when it first arrived over here. Apple didn't even bother to look at how things were in Europe and only implemented the very basics (any less and they probably wouldn't be able to claim it was a GSM handset!). So when their new wonder phone arrived, couldn't do groups messages, or send picture messages, we all laughed.

They eventually fixed this, and now these features are revealing the cracks in the underlying US cell system.

Now wouldn't you like a system where you can send a message to any of your contacts without having to remember what kind of phone they have, or that Jim's iPhone has had to go back because it needs a new battery and he's using a 10 year old mobile he borrowed? A system that pushes a message onto the phone of anyone, anywhere on the planet (except the USA for previously stated reasons)? Oh, and it does handset delivery confirmation too.

Now tell me how this is backwards?

As for multitasking, are you trying to claim that as the iPhone doesn't do this, multitasking is bad? Good grief man, extract your head, Mr Jobs would like to sit down, and I think you could do with some fresh air.

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Steve Evans
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Ahhh how sweet....

Dear America, welcome to the 21st century!

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Google patents (2004) home page

Steve Evans
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Ah...

So they haven't patented the "bork bork" language version?

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German inventor gushes over portable women's weebag

Steve Evans
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@Code Monkey

Agreed. The Germans are obviously not fully up to speed on the English girls who now drink pints during their binges, and therefore flow in quantities formerly only achieved by men.

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Apple Store pillaged in 31 seconds

Steve Evans
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Jobs Horns

Oh...

I always thought it was their prices that made shopping an "uncrowded, casual experience"

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Men far worse than women on password security

Steve Evans
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Unfortunatey...

These surveys only reflect the male and female habits of people who fill out surveys.

I don't know about the rest of you, but if the list of questions has a scroll bar on the side, or worse a "Next" button on the bottom, it's going to get skipped.

I'm a busy man, I have 126 individual passwords to change.

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Secret US spontaneous human combustion beam tested

Steve Evans
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And....

What about the other useful performance information... Rate of fire...

Come to think of it, how long did they need to keep the beam trained on this dangerous unoccupied stationary vehicle. I guess we're all assuming the Sci-fi kind of pow-booom hit, but that's a bit of an assumption. For all we know it was slowly cooked over several seconds like beans in a microwave, not something which would be easy with a moving vehicle, especially when the driver notices things are getting warm and makes evasive moves.

Oh well... I guess in future all military movement will be carried out under cover of fog, or maybe all desert vehicles will just have a big dust blowing fan fitted to the top, or maybe just a mirror.

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Gmail in massive web outage

Steve Evans
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"Cloud" cuckoo land

As has been recently demonstrated by hordes of lost iPhone owners, who suddenly found their O2 provided data connection was no longer feeding them their google maps, anyone who puts their complete trust in systems which they have no control over, and no contact point to shout at, really does deserve what they get.

Always have a backup, take a paper map, and only use gmail as a front end to a real mail server which you can still pop/smtp with :-)

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Dole bludger fined for BNP leak

Steve Evans
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I wonder....

I wonder how they found this genius... I bet him and his wife were the only recent party members who weren't on the leaked list :-)

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California child kidnapper stalked Street View van

Steve Evans
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stalking the google car?

He'd have to be pretty damn quick on his feet to see the google car, get the van keys, run to the van, start it and get down his drive before the car has even finished passing his house!

Or do google cars "cruise" at <1mph?

So I vote for him using his van to go somewhere, what a novelty.

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O2 just can't keep it up

Steve Evans
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Tut tut...

Relying on a data connection for your maps has always struck me as far too much faith in technology. I'm far happier with Nokia maps' pre-loading ability.

I also have paper maps in the car in case of a terminal technology failure, and I'm also known to check routes before departing (shock horror!). Then again I'm one of those rare few who can still read road signs, and doesn't just blindly follow sat navs down rivers and over cliffs.

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5 men named in racket that netted $4m in stolen card data

Steve Evans
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Security joke

Most of the card industry is a security joke.

Even when they're not getting data stolen en-mass, they impliment things like chip and pin which are inherently flawed.

It used to be that a shop would actually touch and look at the card and your signature.

Since chip and pin you don't even hand the card over. You stick it into the slot and punch in the numbers.

This means there is sod all chance of me, a white male, being spotted using the card of "Mrs Jones", "Mr Mohamed" or "Mr Singh". All of which might have been noticed in the past.

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