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* Posts by Steve Evans

2373 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Sarko gets crypto mobe after BlackBerry ban

Steve Evans
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Normal service...

The French are well known for looking after their own industry, so implementing a ban on products produced outside of the country is normal. They did exactly the same with the SECAM TV system. Everyone else went for PAL or NTSC. The Eastern block countries got SECAM because it would prevent the Poles et al from accidentally picking up the news from Germany and other bad Western countries.

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UK prosecutors drop 'tiger' sex video case

Steve Evans
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Paris Hilton

Stand by...

Any time now they'll be a new law along...

Possessing Extreme porn offensive to deaf people.

Paris, no explanation required.

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25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

Steve Evans
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So....

Does this mean the banana will now become the El Reg unit of measurement for drugs?

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Orange punts quality calling

Steve Evans
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Pah!

I'd just be happy with a signal in my house.

It used to be fine.

Then about a year ago it got worse... A month or two later I got a text message telling me that they had performed some modifications to my local cell and I should notice an improvement in the signal.

It's been the same crap level ever since.

I can move the phone 2 inches on the table and it will go from 2 bars to nothing. Earlier today as I picked it up it had 4, I looked in disbelief, and then they all vanished.

Oh, and I'm talking old 2G signal here, let's not even go near the 3G signal level!

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Today is not New Year's Eve - or the end of the decade

Steve Evans
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(why does a reply need a title?)

That's correct. Isn't that what he said?

year divisible by 4 = leap year

Unless it's divisible by 100 = not leap year

Unless it's divisible by 400 = leap year.

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Yorkshire lass eBays cheating boyf's Xmas prezzies

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

So they split up on the 22nd, so how comes she has the presents he bought for her?

Sounds a bit odd to me too...

Plus technically if he bought them, and never gave them to her, then they are not hers to sell... Aka theft.

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The best (of the worst) patent claims of 2009

Steve Evans
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Haha...

I love how Apple's glove has to solve a problem that they have created. Resistive touch screens work fine when you touch them with anything, only capacitive ones, like the ones used in the iPhone, object to being touched by non conducting objects and require a glove with holes cut in it!

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5-megapix 'iPhone 4' set for June?

Steve Evans
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Not sure...

I know 3 people with iPhones... One is a complete fanboy, so of course he wouldn't tell me if he ever had a problem, but I did laugh when he dropped it and cracked the screen.

The other two are girls who just bought it because it was the "in thing", neither of them are technical. One constantly complains about it freaking out and doing weird shit (in her words she hates it) and the other seems to have an iPhone (or maybe O2) induced text message delay. I've sat there next to her this week, both with a good signal and sent messages between my Nokia and her iPhone. Sometimes they arrive instantly, other times they take a few minutes. In one case a message took 2 hours, and sometimes they've just gone missing. Messages from her to me turn up pretty much as you'd expect, within a few seconds.

Now I don't know if this in a problem with the Orange/O2 interconnect or whatever, but until I proved this to her in person (and showed her my sent history) she thought I'd been ignoring her!

The iPhone is bad for your social life!

Sure the iPhone has a great interface, but I still don't trust the technical bit underneath it all. The half hearted attempt they made of implementing the SMS functionality in version 1 is enough to make me worry.

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Steve Evans
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But...

Are they gonna put a damn flash on it this time, or are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives looking at mobile upload pictures in facebook with really badly lit faces?

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Ofcom sets 60GHz free

Steve Evans
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Until...

It rains!

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Fujitsu workers picket London HQ

Steve Evans
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Scrooge outfit?

You sure?

If I were him I'd keep well away from Stockwell tube station!

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Iraqi insurgents hack US drones with $26 software

Steve Evans
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Grenade

Genius...

What idiot doesn't encrypt military signals... Oh, hang on, you answered that.

I'm unsure how useful being able to view the feed is. Oh so you can see if the drone is coming for you without having to look up at the sky, big deal. If it's heading for you you're f*cked. If you run it just draws attention to you and you're f*cked.

Having a collection of recording from previous missions just sounds like a macabre youtube... Link?

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Official: British telly really is almost all repeats

Steve Evans
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I'd rather...

I'd rather have a repeat of Quincy or Kojak than watch yet another premium rate phoneline financed quiz/bingo/roulette program. Channel 5 barely gets past midnight before it hangs up any pretence of making real content.

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How Google became Microsoft: A decade of hits, misses and gaffes

Steve Evans
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the iPhone has nabbed 50 per cent of worldwide smartphone usage

Do we have to debunk your figures yet again?

Honestly I trust HM Govts usage of statistics more than El Reg at the moment!

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Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Steve Evans
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"She was, however, cuffed on 18, 22 and 26 April"

Well no wonder she got over excited!

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Durham police demonstrate DNA will stuff you

Steve Evans
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"whitish crystal/whitish powder when crushed"

You mean like sugar or salt then?

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A Deadlock Holiday

Steve Evans
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Wonderful...

I've never heard mutex described with the uses of toilet cubicals before, but I shall be using that simile in future! great stuff...

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LINX failure slows UK net traffic

Steve Evans
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Still...

Sounds like a capacity problem... If all your nodes are running at 90%+ a failure of any node will overload the others and cause trouble, so it's hardly a well designed redundancy system is it.

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iTunes gifts Blighty 12 freebies of Christmas

Steve Evans
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Big artists...

...but I bet the tracks are the album filler kinda tripe.

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Nikon D300s DSLR

Steve Evans
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Movie limit...

I believe the movie length limit isn't imposed by the memory card but by the sensor.

All sensors warm up during use, and the longer it is active the warmer it will get, this will eventually start to introduce noise into the image.

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Steve Evans
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Look on the bright side...

There is good chance all your old Nikon lenses will work just fine on a new digital body.

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Steve Evans
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Nice if you want a camcorder!

Unfortunately the Canons are still lacking on the still features. 19 AF point? Is that the best you can do? I can't see that managing the 3D focus tracking like the D300, which really has to be tried!

And last time I used a Canon the spot metering remained in the middle even when the focus point was moved. Can you say D'oh?!

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EFF seeks answers from Facebook police

Steve Evans
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Friend whores

So don't be a friend whore, or if you must accept every friend request, learn how to use the different privacy levels and group features.

Personally I keep my friend list down to about 100 people tops, and regularly have a cull of the pointless, inactive or annoying ones, this can even include relatives.

Oh, and it does help having a common name too.

Privacy theory sponsored by wood for the trees research :-)

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Nokia sues LCD makers over price-fixing

Steve Evans
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Pity...

Nobody bothers to turns the anti-competition laws against the oil companies who meet together to fix prices in something called "OPEC".

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Serial slurry fetish man jailed again

Steve Evans
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WTF?

This man doesn't need prison, he needs sectioning!

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Generators and UPS fail in London datacentre outage

Steve Evans
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Testing sometimes backfires...

I remember back in the 80s when I worked for GEC/Marconi, they decided to do a generator test one weekend.

So they kicked them off, and they both started... Within a minute one stopped so they went to have a look at the problem.

Whilst being ignored the second one felt lonely and decided to catch fire. Luckily there was an onsite fire brigade who came round in their little red landrover and tackled it.

Unfortunately the fire, or extinguishing caused the mains electrical feed to trip, and the entire data centre was plunged into darkness.

We had a great 5 hours of doing sod all in the office on Monday morning as the operators were still trying to get the mainframes to start up!

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What ever happened to storing pics with electron cannons?

Steve Evans
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Ummm..

Still readable as long as you keep them stored in a nice controlled environment. Photographic film degrades too.

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Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week

Steve Evans
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@Daniel

I don't think the "You're cute, do you come here often?" line is going to work on The Moderatrix.

Try more grovelling, pleading and begging; scatter with profuse apologies, the words "Maam" and "Mistress", and you might just get away with some red marks across your behind.

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Kent Police exceeded powers in too-tall photographer case

Steve Evans
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i don't believe they took one...

He was detained, searched and then dearrested in the street/van.

DNA samples are normally taken at booking in the station.

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Police smoke out 300-pound frozen turkey thief

Steve Evans
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Errrr

That doesn't exactly sound like the description of a starving man does it!

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iPhone conquers half the (smartphone) world

Steve Evans
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And now for some less skewed figures from Gartner...

According to figures released on 12th Nov, 09 by Gartner, world’s leading information technology research and advisory company, Microsoft’s mobile OS witnessed a downfall from 11 % of the global smartphone market in Q3 2008 to 7.9 % later this year. The iPhone’s share saw a rise to 17.1 % from 12.9 %, and RIM’s share had risen from 16 percent to 20.8 percent. Symbian’s market share fell with 10% from 49.7 % to 44.6 % over the same period The new open-source Android operating system did not have any market share in Q3 2008, however, in Q3 2009, it had managed to capture 3.9 % of the smartphone market. Palm’s WebOS had 1.1 %, and other Linux-based mobile operating systems had 4.7 %

17.1% != 50%

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Steve Evans
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Skewed...

True title should be...

iPhone users suffer more ads than other smartphones!

I'm sure it was only a couple of weeks ago I saw a graph of smartphone OS use (probably on here) which had Symbian at least double the iPhone.

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VTOL gyro-copter flying car mates with killer robot

Steve Evans
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@Dirk Koopman

I was thinking exactly the same thing... Autogyros have had the ability to engage drive to the top rotor for many many years.

@Andus McCoatover I don't really get your point, are you saying that they are dangerous or not... He walked away from in unscathed didn't he? Take off and landing are the most dangerous times for any aircraft, you just don't have the height or time to make any kind of recovery. The engine cut and drops gently to the ground theory works only for helicopters and gyros when they have the height or momentum. If you are hovering 20 feet above the ground with no forward momentum, altitude or time to use to generate some downward momentum and the engine dies, then you and gravity are going to be having a disagreement very shortly!

If you have the height you use the drop to get the blades spinning, very much how the original article describes the vertical jump, get the energy into the rotors, then just before you meet the ground in a very intimate way, you pitch the blades so their rotation provides a lift and slows your decent.

Just like this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phaWRjAVnes

At least in the UK the helicopter pilot licence requires you to be able to perform a controlled landing without power.

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Google remaps Earth for iPhone

Steve Evans
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Ummm...

So you need turn by turn navigation to walk from A to B in a city built on a grid system?

Hell guys, you should be able to do that yourself with nothing more than long/lat!

Come test it in London, whilst driving, and could you avoid the congestion charge area too.

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Tesla Roadster used for videogame audio

Steve Evans
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Eeek!

But won't somebody think about the ferrets?!

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Nokia to cull Symbian in 2012

Steve Evans
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@Coruscating Frenzy

I'd say there is no feedback loop (or feedback at all) between the first line support we talk to, and anyone else in Nokia with N97 issues!

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The biggest flash drive in the world

Steve Evans
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Tut tut...

"Raid-protected"...

Raid isn't about protection, it's about availability... However it does beg the question... How do you back this bugger up?!

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Home Office accused of sexing-up mobile phone rescue

Steve Evans
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Also...

This example is no justification for logging and retaining the information.

It's only a justification for using it real time as it occurs, and with the callers permission.

For many years this has happened with mobile calls to the emergency services. Last time I rang 999 from my mobile I spoke initially to an emergency operator on the mobile network, then I heard them hand me over to the "real" emergency operator and give my number and approximate position before dropping out of the call and connecting me through. So that when I said the name of the road I was reporting the incident in, the operator didn't need to know the postcode or town name (which if you were a bit lost in strange parts you may not actually know reliably) as they were already on the correct page of the map thanks to the location info the mobile operator had passed over.

I thought it was rather cool use of technology at the time and didn't feel at all intruded upon or spied on. Although why they couldn't send that information in digital data form instead of spoken words is a little more concern to those of us familiar with Heath Robinson!

I'm sure that any day now the "think about the children" line will be thrown in, saying that missing children could be traced by this system (because everyone is a paedo, rapist or murdered these days don't-you-know). Which of course will be instantly defeated by the villain in question when he checks his victim for a mobile phone (which I'm sure they would do anyway) and throws it out of the car window.

How about we set up a test study group... Like say all the MPs. Then we will study the movement log information and decide if it is of any use... Who knows, it might detect fraud, dubious meetings, or where they go instead of attending parliament and representing the views of the people. That is their job isn't it?

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Edward Woodward dies at 79

Steve Evans
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Unhappy

RIP

RIP Ed and three woods.

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Mancunians finally get to open bank accounts, go to Europe

Steve Evans
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Only 15 minutes...

So if all 200 turn up it will take over 6 working man weeks to clear the queue?

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Steve Evans
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Ooops

I mean all 2000

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Security firm chokes sprawling spam botnet

Steve Evans
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Isn't it nice...

Our govt are trying to legally push to have our ISPs monitor our every move when they really should be encourage them to actively contact and help disinfect people on their network who are spewing spam.

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Cambridge Uni cheerleaders in naming FAIL

Steve Evans
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Errr,

So the Torygraph is in touch with mainstream modern life is it?

That might be why I'd never heard of cougar being used in that way either... Maybe you should try picking on Ford too whilst you're at it. They've named a car cougar, and that was after having a series of models named after your magazine collection you hide under the bed.

As for the team, well okay, they might not be miss world, but they're not that bad, it's nice to see females in good physical shape and without a gut hanging out over their jogging bottoms these days!

I guess the fact you could actually have an intelligent conversation with them counts for nothing in your books (the ones hidden under the bed).

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Nokia N86 8Mp cameraphone

Steve Evans
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First thing I did...

Skip forward to find the info on the flash...

Why kit a phone out as a camera and then giving it the flash illumination of a candle? I really don't understand Nokia sometimes, they have previous experience with xenon flashes, and it worked great!

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T-Orange puts names on dotted lines

Steve Evans
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Wait for it...

Some company will earn £500,000 for coming up with the name/logo OM or O-M.

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EU block to Mandelson's filesharing laws removed

Steve Evans
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Megaphone

I'm going to fetch my pitchfork.

All these politicians, Euro our ours need to remember one thing.

They are supposed to be public servants... They are supposed to be serving the public good... We aren't supposed to be ruled by them.

I think we need to polish up madam guillotine and give them a reminder... Actually on second thoughts, leave it rusty!

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iPhone apps top 100,000

Steve Evans
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Honestly...

If this doesn't prove the sheer volume of dross on the app store, nothing will.

Come on, there aren't 100,000 application requirements for a phone! Where am I is useful. So is a map (which the iPhone gets straight from google, so just an http interface there). And locating local things, oh google again or yell.co.uk.

How many of these apps are either just a front end for, or could be replaced with a RSS feed? An RSS enabled phone and/or the ability to use a google search would wipe out most of them.

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Opera Mobile sings out new Symbian version

Steve Evans
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@A/C 12:16

Actually the original N95 works perfectly well with later firmware. I have V31 on mine and it's as stable as a rock. I'm always using Opera mini on it. I agree with you it's far better than the dedicated symbian versions!

Pity Orange UK didn't bother approving firmware releases past V12 so if I hadn't used NSS to change the ID code to generic Euro model I would have never known... The wouldn't have been trying to make me upgrade to another phone would they? Hmmmm...

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Orange saves callers pennies with iPhone tariffs

Steve Evans
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Another head in the trough...

No shock...

When you've seen the brick of St Jobs shifting for silly money, why ruin the illusion for the mases by setting a sensible price.

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