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* Posts by Steve Evans

2374 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Asus assures no more delays for keyboard-computer

Steve Evans
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Yup...

I never said it would be pretty though... I'm planning on using the curves from a 1970s Volvo :-)

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Steve Evans
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Even easier...

It's even easier than that. Netbooks/Laptops are a compromise of space and parts. With a full size PC keyboard there is enough space underneath for 2 netbook motherboards, so they should be able to fit something in!

As has been mentioned, they managed it in the 1980s with the Vic 20, Commodore 64, Acorn Atom/Electron (won't include my beloved BBC Micro as 90% of the gubbins were in the rear of the case, not under the keyboard.

Give me a keyboard, a netbook and access to a plastic injection machine and I'll have one ready for you by the weekend!

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Microsoft wants to put infected PCs in rubber room

Steve Evans
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Gates Horns

Maybe...

Maybe If M$ didn't distribute system knobbling software like WGA, maybe those machines would have stayed on auto update and be patched against a lot of the exploits that are currently doing the rounds... But no, you didn't want people using your software illegally, and now there are countries full of machines which haven't had an update since XP SP2.

Thanks so much.

Personally I think ISPs should do a bit of monitoring... A machine suddenly making 100 SMTP connections to multiple servers over the course of an hour should make alarm bells start ringing.

Surely not too hard to spot, when you've finished checking for P2P connections of course.

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Woman called Window joins Apple

Steve Evans
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Ah...

So you mean she has a secret identity?

Diamond Bit?

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Steve Evans
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WTF?

Where do these people get their names?

Honestly, there's one thing having a foreign name, but I seriously doubt there is any country on the planet where Window would be classed as normal.

Well apart from in America.

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Oz watchdog nips Pammie Anderson's bikini-clad ass

Steve Evans
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What planet are they on?

"all about sex, got nothing to do with domains, unless it's to start a porn site"

But we all know the internet is for porn!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc

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DARPA wants military iPhone and Android apps

Steve Evans
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Aye...

One that can do photo recognition and tell you when you've just committed a blue on blue would be nice.

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Steve Evans
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Ummm...

Looking into the future by copying a 1960s TV series?

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More workers poisoned by supplier for Apple, Nokia

Steve Evans
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WHAT?!

Salt? With beer? Are you mad... You want an icon for tequila.

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Nokia No.2 is so sorry for N97 debacle

Steve Evans
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The network cause half the problem...

For some reason in the UK there is no such thing as a generic, network free N97, the best you get is the UK CV (country variant). When Nokia release firmware for the world+dog's generic N97 we can't use it (or see it as available).

Eventually someone does something after a month or two and the N97 CV phones can get it. The Vodafone/Orange etc phones still can't.

I got so fed up of waiting for bugs to be fixed, which I could see were resolved in a firmware version I was not permitted to access, I changed the model code of the phone to generic Euro.

I did the same with the old N95, IIRC if that was still set as an Orange phone I would be still using V11 firmware. As it is I have V35, came out last month.

Now I get updates when Nokia releases them, not when some faceless and nameless entity decides UK users can use them. Oh but we need to approve them say Vodafone/Orange et al... Yeah right, I see plane loads of foreign Nokia users getting off flights from Euroland and finding their phones suddenly not working on your network don't I. I think Nokia knows a thing or two about making a mobile phone. They own the patents for enough of the specs your network depends on!

Sometimes it's about control. Orange didn't want the N95 to be able to route VOIP via wifi when it came out... So it was knobbled. Change the model number to generic, install the latest firmware, install fring/nimbuzz/skype, take your pick, and enjoy free wifi VOIP.

Annoyingly talk of changing the model code is forbidden on the Nokia discussion forums, yet the delays in some countries getting the firmware means many are enduring bugs which have been fixed months ago! The result is a shed load of bad press.

They really should kick whoever delays the firmware releases up the behind with steel toecapped boots.

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Steve Evans
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How about...

How about he apologises to those that bought them?

Like me!

Actually, it's not really that bad since the firmware updates (which for some reason us in the UK seem to have to wait over a month extra for), however it could have been so much better. It has the hardware underneath, I just get the impression all their good developers ran off to work on the N900 instead.

However it is funny to see how everyone now says how good the N95 was... I have one of them too, and I remember all the bitching and moaning about everything from battery life to user interface on that when it came it. It was slated... A few firmware revisions later and listen to you all!

I always liked my '95 :-)

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NatWest suffers calamitous online banking breakdown

Steve Evans
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I assume...

I assume that even though there are very few of them left, and their systems appear to be dying, that all the hard working IT staff will be receiving huge bonuses?

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Apple prepping 'Explicit' App Store?

Steve Evans
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Burqa

Quote - He was also told that "no skin" could be shown. "I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry," he writes.

LMAO!

Well done that man, fine question!

For a company making a device that connects to the internet they have a very puritanical outlook on life, have they never type boobies into google?

I'm an ornithologist, honest!

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Pope pooh-poohs airport perv-scanners

Steve Evans
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I'm confused...

Is that a list of rules handed down from the Pope or from HM Gov?

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Vodafone Ireland admits pocketing dormant PAYG cash

Steve Evans
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Depends...

It depends how you define emergency. You don't even need a SIM to dial 999, and I'm sure a lady in distress will get away with a 999 call to say her car has broken down in a dark country lane far more easily than a man would.

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MPs obsess about expenses, ignore data security

Steve Evans
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</title>

If I remember correctly, you can buy a film to put on a laptop screen that undoes all that R&D that went on to increase the viewing angle.

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Another NHS hospital stricken with Conficker virus

Steve Evans
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Actually...

In a round about way a larger monitor can slow down a PC...

Larger monitor = higher resolution, which will work the graphics card a bit harder... If the machine is one of those nasty cheap designs with shared video and system ram, the ram used for the extra pixels is memory not available for windows to much on.

However I agree that most users shouldn't be trusted with anything more than a left click.

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Ex-Army man cracks popular security chip

Steve Evans
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Errrr

"They have a right to do it, but I have a right to break it too."

I have a nagging suspicion that the DMCA specifically says you *don't* have the right to break it!

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Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you

Steve Evans
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Shurely...

Surely the drag of all these atoms bouncing off the hull would prove to be a bigger problem before they reach a high enough velocity to cause themselves damage... Not to mention the sand blasting effect it would have on the extra expense metallic paint finish!

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Oxford snaps high-speed movies with consumer cams

Steve Evans
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Hmmm

Can't believe this hasn't been thought of/patented before.

Then again they do say that the best ideas are often the simplest.

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Windows Phone 7 Series website collapses under weight of traffic

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

My thoughts exactly...

As the old marketing man says, there is no such thing as bad publicity... Although Toyota might have just disproved than!

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Westminster politicos told to grasp Vista nettle

Steve Evans
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I assume...

I assume this short sited knee jerk has occurred because they notice Win2k support will stop in a couple of weeks... My question is why are they concerned about support being dropped by M$?

They insist on continuing to use IE6, which is a far bigger security risk than anything Win2k could reveal in the next few years.

Of course the next issue is going to be the hardware demands of Vista compared to XP... Stand by for loads of memory purchases to go winging their way to the original PC suppliers, and not to anywhere sensible (and far cheaper) like Crucial.

Actually, what am I thinking, they won't upgrade the memory, they'll just order a 1000 Vista update licences, find the machines don't have the guts, so order 1000 new machine (which come with Vista already), then hide the initial wasted Vista purchase under the bed.

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Frosty fanbois navigate iPhone with sausage

Steve Evans
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Joke

<title></title>

Surely you mean not the bratwurst?

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Wreck of 1930s flying aircraft carrier dubbed 'historic'

Steve Evans
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Choose your accident...

I think the chances of surviving an airship accident are higher than surviving a jet aircraft accident.

Even the famous Hindenburg accident had > 60% survival rate.

36 died (13 passengers, 22 crew, 1 ground crew), 62 survivors.

Airships might spark up in most impressive style, but jets tend to hit thing (mountains, the ground etc) at rather higher speeds.

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Red Dwarf's Kryten exposes iPhone number

Steve Evans
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There are two reasons you should not do that...

1) You'll get phone calls from weird fans

2) You'll get phone calls from weird fans.

I thought it was such an important point it deserved mentioning twice.

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Linus Torvalds doesn't hate the Googlephone

Steve Evans
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Yes and no...

Very few companies bother to publish the level of pollution/energy required to produce a car in the first place, and dispose of the old one.

I doubt many cars could challenge my old bus when it comes to fossil carbon emissions, mine easily embarrasses a Prius (and I don't just mean when I use the brakes!)... One of the beauties of an old car (diesel) is they have a very simple injection system which can take a lot of abuse. In my case the abuse comes in the shape of recycled vegetable oil... Smells a bit funny, but far cheaper than the ever climbing fuel prices in the UK.

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Steve Evans
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Actually...

I never said everyone drives a new car, only expressed shock that Linus didn't...

Just for the record my car is even greener than John White's (above), at 13 years old and containing a bio-degradable paper based navigation system.

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Steve Evans
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More shocking...

More shocking is that Linus has a car without GPS!

What ancient wreck is he driving about in? I thought pretty much every car had sat nav these days?!

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Cheeky French hackers hijack Tata website

Steve Evans
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Not sure that's English English, American hackers perhaps?! :o)

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iPad forces operators to shave their SIMs

Steve Evans
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Sounds like a cunning lock in...

Once you have your iPad with its micro SIMM you won't be able to use another mobile device, even if your iPad goes wrong, your SIMM won't fit any of your other phones!

Quick, someone invent an adapter! Although it's my idea and you'll need to licence it.

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Facebook re-write takes PHP to an enterprise past

Steve Evans
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Well...

Just as long as they manage to fix the ever growing URL bug that seems to curse me the moment I try to tag a photograph and requires a manual cropping in the address bar to get things back to a vaguely normal point.

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Apple vs the iPad Bedwetters

Steve Evans
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Ironically...

Although I really don't like Apple and their control freak nature (or own any of their products), I feel forcing the arty farty web designers (usually Apple customers) to actually write some HTML instead of just throwing the entire "presentation" into a high bandwidth Flash based website is actually a good thing!

Long live St Jobs and his dislike of all thing Flashy!

For anyone who missed it, check out Charlie Brooker's "opinion" :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEfcy_u0-YM

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ASA bites PETA over Baby P billboard

Steve Evans
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Ummm...

Actually he wasn't. In the 1930s Hitler enjoyed and promoted "English" country "sports" such as fox hunting and game shooting and was partial to stuffed pigeon.

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Retailers fooled by fake and borrowed IDs

Steve Evans
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Ah, the old right of passage...

Still remember borrowing a driving licence (no picture on them back then) and using it to get into my first nightclub. Got the 3rd degree from the doorman, "date of birth?", "when did you pass your test?" and the old favourite "What star sign are you?"

I managed to remember it all, but must admit I was crapping myself!

After all that the night club was shite, no idea what age group it was supposed to impress, but it didn't work on a sub 18 me!

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Chris Morris jihad film good to go

Steve Evans
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Brilliant!

Let's hope this gets past the thought police and released!

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PM: UK airports to get perv scanners next week

Steve Evans
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Re: It's not so bad

Do you often find invasive security checks that stimulating?

If so I'm sure you could request the full body cavity search.

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Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

At some of the small airports like Grenoble the luggage x-ray is right behind the check-in desk and if they see something amusing they call their mates over and put the bag through again. So now when I'm flying from there I try to arrange any cables I have in my luggage into a smiley face.

So I was wondering if I cut out letters of aluminium (aluminum) foil and stick them to my body, can I write messages for them?

"The guy behind me looks shifty"

"These are not the droid you are looking for"

etc.

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Car-stopping electropulse cannon to demo 'next month'

Steve Evans
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Re: brake/steering failure

Power assisted steering is incredibly heavy on modern cars with their low profile tyres if the assistance stops. Now imagine you are fleeing from the feds at speed down a bendy road when they hit you with the zapper.

Having an automatic gearbox (like most Americans) you have little engine braking, so think you'll bail out and run once you're out of view round the next corner. You hit the bend expecting the steering to be nice and light, and it isn't, you don't have time to grab the wheel with both hands at 6 o'clock and start manually heaving it round before the car/tree interaction occurs. Sure it still works, but even if you were expecting the new super heavy weight you can't spin it from lock to lock in anywhere near the couple of seconds you could when it was assisted.

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Opera and Firefox downloads soar after IE alerts

Steve Evans
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Probably quite good too...

The last thing we need is the population starting to think uk.gov has a single clue about IT.

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Air France offers two-seat deal for fatties

Steve Evans
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Odd...

I'm 6 foot and 33" inside leg, and I can handle a Fly n scare trip okay.

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MS spins IE security disaster into Windows 7 upgrade opportunity

Steve Evans
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Gates Horns

If XP + IE6 is so bad...

Odd they didn't mention you can just go download IE8 for free and stick it on your XP machine.

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Man Utd imposes social networking ban

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

The idea of Wayne Rooney dragging his knuckles across the keyboard is just too funny for words!

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Discrimination warning over airport body scanners

Steve Evans
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Re: Political Correctness gone mad!!!

Not at all, please don't try to tar me with any bigot brush, it won't stick.

Did the lorry drivers in Yorkshire complain when they were getting regularly stopped during the hunt for the Yorkshire ripper, because the profile suggested he was a lorry driver? Did they scream that no lorry drivers were being stopped in Kent? Did they demand bus drivers be stopped too? No, they understood the logic and the need to find him.

If an Englishman is suspected of a crime when I am on abroad, and the cops decide to question me, will I scream that no French people are being picked up? No, don't be stupid, I'd understand the logic.

Would I expect the local cops to waste their time picking up Germans, French, Poles and Spaniards just to make me feel better? No, I'd rather they found the person they were looking for.

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Steve Evans
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Stop

Grrr!

Sod the PC crap, can we please use our brains. I'm sorry but our current terrorist threat comes from religious extremists who are generally non-white.

Back when the IRA were attacking the UK mainland, people with Irish names or Irish car registrations would be stopped more frequently. This was common sense, but these day we can't use the same sense as those determined to blow us up just happen to be from a different ethnic group.

If this PC crap continues to hamper and restrict investigations it won't be long before black women are being asked for DNA to assist in the investigation of a rape where the suspect was described as a white male, purely because focusing on white males would be profiling...

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No World Cup anthem for England football heroes

Steve Evans
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Coat

Hmmm....

You never know, it's not like there would be much point in her singing for Scotland is there...

Mines the one with earplugs in the pocket

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China's doomed attempt to hold the world to ransom

Steve Evans
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Interesting...

Except I have to point out one thing... As you say "Technology moves on"...

CRT Phosphors Granddad!!!

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Lightning catches up with Thunderbird

Steve Evans
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Yup...

And even better than M$ has ever managed, it really is English, not American!

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Next-gen iPhone rumored for April

Steve Evans
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Oh dear...

No mention of a flash on the damn camera then?

I wonder if Facebook could implement an automatic block of "Uploaded via facebook mobile for iphone" notifications instead, I'm fed up with my "friends" continually uploading silhouettes of people!

Please, please add a flash, even a little LED flash would do. The fact it has gone on without one for some long is just a joke.

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European court pulls plugs on terror stop and search

Steve Evans
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What a load of bull...

Policing and Security Minister David Hanson MP said: ”Stop and search under section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000 is an important tool in a package of measures in the ongoing fight against terrorism."

Oh really... Would he like to back this up by telling us the total number of terrorists that have been found by completely random stop and searches... Let me take a wild guess at how many... A big round zero.

Very important then...

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Steve Evans
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And...

Cameras... Don't forget the evil insidious photographers out there that must be stopped!

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