Feeds

* Posts by Steve Evans

2352 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Thank you...

And low a voice of reason did look upon the situation and did see it in the correct proportions.

0
0

Nokia puts hive mind to work on Best Phone Ever

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Actually...

It depends. A lot of firmware updates are delayed or just blocked by the carriers. Every Nokia phone has a ID code, different carriers have their own code, so can control the release (or not) of firmware updates. Even "unbranded" phones in the UK do not have a generic ID code, they have a UK CV (Country variant) code, which again is subject to a delay, although nobody seems to know what faceless bureaucrat is responsible for giving firmware releases a thumbs up for the UK CV models.

This is why I change the ID codes of all my Nokia phones to that of a generic Euro one. Unfortunately talk of doing such things is forbidden on the Nokia discussions forums, which is a pity as most of the complaints seem to centre around "Where is version xxx for my phone" and complaints of bugs which are resolved in a firmware release the victim isn't privy to.

I recently used my original N95-1 (not an unpleasant experience), and was amazed to find a firmware update for it was issued this year!

I think it only added the OVI store, but it was nice it wasn't forgotten.

I don't think the problem is long term support, I think the problem is they got caught slacking a bit and now they are rushing things out the door and not testing them properly before they are released.

Then again, maybe this isn't such a new thing. I remember the N95 was slated for it's battery life and various other issues when it first came out with early firmware... A few months down the line, a few firmware updates, and there was nothing wrong with it.

Just hope the same can be said for my N97!

0
0

Street View plays spot the army numberplate

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmmmm

Maybe it's the fact the letters are split onto two rows that confuses it.

0
0

Flat-pack plug designer wins top award

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Excellent...

Always likes the look of this...

Now if only it got BS or CE approval and a distribution deal...

Oh, and don't dodge making that slim multiplug either!

0
0

Muso turfed off train for 'suspicious' set list

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

And once again...

Another group of wanna be Mussolinis (what on earth is the plural of Mussolini?) fail to grasp the simple fact that the number of terror attacks which have been discovered by random stops is a big round zero.

The sooner someone reminds them that intelligence is required (and then explains what intelligence is in this context) the sooner innocent musicians and photographers can go about their daily business. Even if said business involves them sitting on a train or going near a fish and chip shop.

Thank God that chip shops are local enough that a train journey is not required or we'd never get any Friday dinner.

0
0

Waledac botnet 'decimated' by MS takedown

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Well...

If recent drop in emails I have got recently through my mail servers advertising various magical pills and from my "bank" (The later usually containing hysterical spelling mistakes) is anything to go by I believe they must have done something right.

On the flip side, I've noticed an increase in emails of the "from My ISP" variety saying I need to update email setting and to run the attached zipped exe to do it automatically.

So I guess that means the zombie herders are trying to recruit new members to replace their fallen comrades.

0
0

Giant flying pliers menace West Bromwich

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Bull...

...nose I believe.

Looks like a bit of on the road repair was carried out, and the pliers left on the top (sky) camera.

I know, how boring, lets go back to the Vogon constructor fleet theory.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmmm

I'm not sure. Whilst an impure iron sample could be responsible for the sub-standard result, I believe the pyramid itself may have been a cheap irregular Chinese manufactured one.

I've seen many Iron experiments ruined by bad geometry.

0
0

Man gets 30 months in prison for taping nude sportscaster

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I'm shocked...

...that an American court actually set a fine which is sensible and able to be paid by the offender!

1
0

Crooks plant fake payment card terminals at multiple stores

Steve Evans
Silver badge

How can this be...

After all we were all told the move to chip and pin would make things so much safer...

</sarcasm>

0
0

Facebook users warned over stalk-my-profile scam

Steve Evans
Silver badge

There's a shock...

I've given up telling my friends to stop inviting and joining these things. Some of them must have joined all the available variation and still failed to notice that none of them do what they advertise.

Maybe I should have an automated questionnaire sent out to any friend requests.

3
0

Apple details iPad's 'breakthrough' mobile contract

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Oooh...

That's an interesting one...

If Apple are using that "out", I can only assume that the moment an iPhone/iPad gets a flat battery, it forgets everything and returns to its as new state.

Then again, they might have used the safety "out"... People might try to eat the battery.

Or maybe it's made of highly dangerous radioactive squirrels.

0
0

.com celebrates 25th birthday

Steve Evans
Silver badge

symbolics?

Honestly, first registered .com and it's not

hello.com

test.com

dummy.com

Not good enough for ya eh? Not enough syllables?

0
0

Nikon D3s

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Drooooool...

I'm in lust!

HD Video? Pah, it's a DSLR, not a video cam-corder!

Next you'll be complaining it's not comfortable to hold against your eye for 30 minutes and why can't it have a forward eyepiece halfway down the lens and sit over your shoulder like a real pro video camera!

The video mode is a nice to have, not its reason d'etre, and 720p is perfectly good. Only a few years ago we were all happy watching 625 interlaced in the UK (512 in the states I believe) until someone convinced us all that we were watching pixels the size of tennis balls. Even now I'm sure that many of us are still "only" watching 720p. Hell I've still got several CRTs and they still don't make my eyes bleed despite all the hype.

I moved from a D80 to a D300 for better low light gig shooting, but this beasty is in another league! Just look at the pictures that baby takes, at that ISO, wow.... Droooooool...

1
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

And...

That 28-70 lens is not a G series, it's a D... It's got an aperture ring... Oh, and the label says f/2.8D :-)

Plus the "new" instant focus override is a standard feature of all AF-S lenses.

0
0

Lenovo ThinkPad Edge

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Widescreen bad...

Widescreen is a pain in the bum for laptops.

I'm typing this on my trusty old Thinkpad R52, and I think I'll still be typing on this in another couple of years... Sure it's not fast and the battery is shagged, but I simply can't find any modern laptop that offers me the same (or better) screen real estate as the 15" 1400x1050 screen without it being a hugely oversized desktop replacement weighing twice as much.

1
0

Nokia killed free navigation, alleges EU complaint

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Happy...

I'm sure the EU are supposed to be protecting the customer, and as 1.4 million downloads show, there are a lot of people very happy that Nokia introduced turn by turn satnav for free. You can include me in that too.

Nav4All really should have been a little bit smarter.

1
0

Botnet takedowns 'don't hurt crooks enough'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

</title>

I don't think you'd need to move onto hand and foot removal.

After ten offences I believe mouse and keyboard operation would be impaired to such a level that further transgressions would be prevented!

0
0

Intel pitches Atom storage platform

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I thought you said cheaper?

I just followed your link, which went to another or your articles from late Feb...

"The DPS2000 will ship in March, come with AccuGard, with a manufacturer’s suggested retail price MSRP) from $2,290 for 4TB"

WTF? For home network? Good greif!

You could buy a 5 bay Thecus, powered by a good old fashioned Celeron and install 5 x 1Gig drives in it for half that!

0
0

Orange backs Intel-Nokia Linux drive

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I have no loyalty...

I just go for who will sell me the phone I want for the price I want to pay.

Unfortunately there really isn't much choice. Vodafone still seem to be rather fuddy duddy. O2 are bending over and taking it up the behind from St Jobs. The only two in the running for my last upgrade were T-mob and Orange, and as I was already with Orange they sorted me out a deal. Better the devil you know and all that... Plus being a long term Nokia owner I am all too aware of the firmware updates (which applies to all UK networks), the first thing I did was debrand the firmware.

0
0

NFC breathes new life into tombstones

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Research...?

What a strange choice of name... The Rosetta stone is famous for giving us the ability to translate Egyptian hieroglyphs, not for containing any directly useful content. I guess it just sounded cool.

Then again, thinking forward a few hundred years, maybe the name is a good choice, it took years to work out how to read the Rosetta stone!

Pity the EMP from the first shots of WWIII will fry the little chip.

0
0

US 'Anubis' stealth assassin robo-missile nearly ready

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Well...

In the absence of artillery/air support it'll deal with a sniper hidden in a mud brick house/compound or tucked up behind some rocks in an equally effective way.

There's nothing fair about sniping, IEDs or war in general.

0
0

Hull Daily Mail exposes depraved local porncoder

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ooops...

Stop press : Man legally designs websites for legal businesses.

What next, the Hull Daily Mail goes after the inland revenue for profiting from the proceeds of non-crime?

Looks like HU17 has died under the load... Pity the same can't be said for the "newspaper" (word used in it's broadest possible term).

0
0

Brits blame Apple, Nokia, RIM et al for smartphone woes

Steve Evans
Silver badge

You probably can...

Well maybe not for the lens cover, but Nokia will change that for you if you report it. It was an early design/production problem. At least it has a lens cover!

As for the crashing/rebooting, well you probably can blame Vodafone, the networks delay/block firmware releases to the phones with their allocated model numbers, and what do firmware releases contain? Yup, bug fixes.

For some reason they feel they have to check each release to make sure it's compatible with their network (well that's what they say)... Odd since Nokia know a thing or two about mobile phones, and I don't see hundreds of Eurozone tourists stepping off the bus/boat/train/plane and finding their phone won't work on the UK networks...

Back in the days of the N95, Orange had their own version of firmware which crippled the VOIP over wifi function. That's when I hacked the model number of my N95 to generic Euro, and I've done it on every Nokia since. I've never regretted it.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Paul...

What firmware are you running. If you are using a network supplied handset then I doubt you have the latest V21. The networks are also delaying (and in some cases blocking) firmware releases. Yet another way the networks make the phones look bad.

If you change the model code to a generic Euro one you can get the firmware when Nokia releases it, not when some faceless/nameless gap year student from the network decides it's okay to issue.

However Nokia do take some of the blame, the firmware updates are supposed to be able to be applied without touching any user data. I have never found my N97 to be particularly happy after this kind of update, so I prefer to do a complete wipe and fresh install. Kinda like your 6 month old XP install needs.

So assuming you've now changed the model number to generic...

Remove any MicroSD. Back up your phone. format the mass storage, do a hard reset. Then update the firmware. Format the mass storage again and hard reset again.

You should then have a totally clean phone. Restore user files/contacts/notes/calendar/bookmarks from the backup. Don't restore device specific settings, they are invariably the one that have got messed up.

0
0

Street View spymobiles invade CeBIT

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Are you sure?

Are you sure this was deliberate, they look like they've just been driven out of another unpopular survey by a mob with shares in Dulux! Last time I saw runs that bad was during a bout of the norovirus.

0
0

Brass necked suspect swallows USB evidence

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Stamping is unlikely to work.

Stamping will probably just damage the outer case of the drive. The data is on a bit of silicon which is enclosed in it's own solid plastic case soldered to the circuit board inside.

Even if you break the outer case, and the circuit board, getting access is just a matter of some soldering. Even if you did manage to snap the flash chip casing you'd need to snap the bit of silicon inside to really do the job properly, and that's hard because it's very small, and the entire flash package is a solid mass, akin to trying to break a stone by stamping on it.

I had a mobile phone run over by a landrover, and no chips or circuit boards broke. The plastic case cracked (it's not solid) and the screen broke (it's a long thin bit of glass). Everything else inside was fine, as proved by just replacing the LCD and everything worked again.

If you really want to destroy a flash drive you are better off hitting it with something solid that isn't going to cushion the blow, like a 7ib club hammer. Comparatively soft things like shoes and vehicle tyres just spread the force out too much.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ditto...

I suspect it would have survived pretty well... If it would have managed to complete its journey unaided without getting stuck, or doing some internal damage is another story.

0
0

Asus assures no more delays for keyboard-computer

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Yup...

I never said it would be pretty though... I'm planning on using the curves from a 1970s Volvo :-)

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Even easier...

It's even easier than that. Netbooks/Laptops are a compromise of space and parts. With a full size PC keyboard there is enough space underneath for 2 netbook motherboards, so they should be able to fit something in!

As has been mentioned, they managed it in the 1980s with the Vic 20, Commodore 64, Acorn Atom/Electron (won't include my beloved BBC Micro as 90% of the gubbins were in the rear of the case, not under the keyboard.

Give me a keyboard, a netbook and access to a plastic injection machine and I'll have one ready for you by the weekend!

0
0

Microsoft wants to put infected PCs in rubber room

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Gates Horns

Maybe...

Maybe If M$ didn't distribute system knobbling software like WGA, maybe those machines would have stayed on auto update and be patched against a lot of the exploits that are currently doing the rounds... But no, you didn't want people using your software illegally, and now there are countries full of machines which haven't had an update since XP SP2.

Thanks so much.

Personally I think ISPs should do a bit of monitoring... A machine suddenly making 100 SMTP connections to multiple servers over the course of an hour should make alarm bells start ringing.

Surely not too hard to spot, when you've finished checking for P2P connections of course.

2
2

Woman called Window joins Apple

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ah...

So you mean she has a secret identity?

Diamond Bit?

1
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

WTF?

Where do these people get their names?

Honestly, there's one thing having a foreign name, but I seriously doubt there is any country on the planet where Window would be classed as normal.

Well apart from in America.

0
1

Oz watchdog nips Pammie Anderson's bikini-clad ass

Steve Evans
Silver badge

What planet are they on?

"all about sex, got nothing to do with domains, unless it's to start a porn site"

But we all know the internet is for porn!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc

0
0

DARPA wants military iPhone and Android apps

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Aye...

One that can do photo recognition and tell you when you've just committed a blue on blue would be nice.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ummm...

Looking into the future by copying a 1960s TV series?

0
0

More workers poisoned by supplier for Apple, Nokia

Steve Evans
Silver badge

WHAT?!

Salt? With beer? Are you mad... You want an icon for tequila.

0
0

Nokia No.2 is so sorry for N97 debacle

Steve Evans
Silver badge

The network cause half the problem...

For some reason in the UK there is no such thing as a generic, network free N97, the best you get is the UK CV (country variant). When Nokia release firmware for the world+dog's generic N97 we can't use it (or see it as available).

Eventually someone does something after a month or two and the N97 CV phones can get it. The Vodafone/Orange etc phones still can't.

I got so fed up of waiting for bugs to be fixed, which I could see were resolved in a firmware version I was not permitted to access, I changed the model code of the phone to generic Euro.

I did the same with the old N95, IIRC if that was still set as an Orange phone I would be still using V11 firmware. As it is I have V35, came out last month.

Now I get updates when Nokia releases them, not when some faceless and nameless entity decides UK users can use them. Oh but we need to approve them say Vodafone/Orange et al... Yeah right, I see plane loads of foreign Nokia users getting off flights from Euroland and finding their phones suddenly not working on your network don't I. I think Nokia knows a thing or two about making a mobile phone. They own the patents for enough of the specs your network depends on!

Sometimes it's about control. Orange didn't want the N95 to be able to route VOIP via wifi when it came out... So it was knobbled. Change the model number to generic, install the latest firmware, install fring/nimbuzz/skype, take your pick, and enjoy free wifi VOIP.

Annoyingly talk of changing the model code is forbidden on the Nokia discussion forums, yet the delays in some countries getting the firmware means many are enduring bugs which have been fixed months ago! The result is a shed load of bad press.

They really should kick whoever delays the firmware releases up the behind with steel toecapped boots.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

How about...

How about he apologises to those that bought them?

Like me!

Actually, it's not really that bad since the firmware updates (which for some reason us in the UK seem to have to wait over a month extra for), however it could have been so much better. It has the hardware underneath, I just get the impression all their good developers ran off to work on the N900 instead.

However it is funny to see how everyone now says how good the N95 was... I have one of them too, and I remember all the bitching and moaning about everything from battery life to user interface on that when it came it. It was slated... A few firmware revisions later and listen to you all!

I always liked my '95 :-)

0
0

NatWest suffers calamitous online banking breakdown

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I assume...

I assume that even though there are very few of them left, and their systems appear to be dying, that all the hard working IT staff will be receiving huge bonuses?

0
3

Apple prepping 'Explicit' App Store?

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Burqa

Quote - He was also told that "no skin" could be shown. "I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry," he writes.

LMAO!

Well done that man, fine question!

For a company making a device that connects to the internet they have a very puritanical outlook on life, have they never type boobies into google?

I'm an ornithologist, honest!

0
0

Pope pooh-poohs airport perv-scanners

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I'm confused...

Is that a list of rules handed down from the Pope or from HM Gov?

0
0

Vodafone Ireland admits pocketing dormant PAYG cash

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Depends...

It depends how you define emergency. You don't even need a SIM to dial 999, and I'm sure a lady in distress will get away with a 999 call to say her car has broken down in a dark country lane far more easily than a man would.

0
0

MPs obsess about expenses, ignore data security

Steve Evans
Silver badge

</title>

If I remember correctly, you can buy a film to put on a laptop screen that undoes all that R&D that went on to increase the viewing angle.

0
0

Another NHS hospital stricken with Conficker virus

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Actually...

In a round about way a larger monitor can slow down a PC...

Larger monitor = higher resolution, which will work the graphics card a bit harder... If the machine is one of those nasty cheap designs with shared video and system ram, the ram used for the extra pixels is memory not available for windows to much on.

However I agree that most users shouldn't be trusted with anything more than a left click.

1
0

Ex-Army man cracks popular security chip

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Errrr

"They have a right to do it, but I have a right to break it too."

I have a nagging suspicion that the DMCA specifically says you *don't* have the right to break it!

0
0

Note to Captain Kirk: Warp speed will kill you

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Shurely...

Surely the drag of all these atoms bouncing off the hull would prove to be a bigger problem before they reach a high enough velocity to cause themselves damage... Not to mention the sand blasting effect it would have on the extra expense metallic paint finish!

1
0

Oxford snaps high-speed movies with consumer cams

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmmm

Can't believe this hasn't been thought of/patented before.

Then again they do say that the best ideas are often the simplest.

0
0

Windows Phone 7 Series website collapses under weight of traffic

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmmm...

My thoughts exactly...

As the old marketing man says, there is no such thing as bad publicity... Although Toyota might have just disproved than!

0
0

Westminster politicos told to grasp Vista nettle

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I assume...

I assume this short sited knee jerk has occurred because they notice Win2k support will stop in a couple of weeks... My question is why are they concerned about support being dropped by M$?

They insist on continuing to use IE6, which is a far bigger security risk than anything Win2k could reveal in the next few years.

Of course the next issue is going to be the hardware demands of Vista compared to XP... Stand by for loads of memory purchases to go winging their way to the original PC suppliers, and not to anywhere sensible (and far cheaper) like Crucial.

Actually, what am I thinking, they won't upgrade the memory, they'll just order a 1000 Vista update licences, find the machines don't have the guts, so order 1000 new machine (which come with Vista already), then hide the initial wasted Vista purchase under the bed.

2
1