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* Posts by Steve Evans

2370 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Apple to reveal hallowed iPhone 4.0 on Thursday

Steve Evans
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@A/C

Have I used one? Frequently. I know several people with them.

I can only assume that your 1st gen is far better than the 3G and 3GS models my friends have. They seem to be constantly getting into each others cars and asking if they can borrow the car charger, or in the case of my iphone owning brother, pinching one of my power sockets every time he pops round to visit.

I really must rewire my 13A sockets across two phases... 415V of AC goodness up the fruit device.

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Steve Evans
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*groan*

It would be nice if they all did fade out mid-afternoon, just think how much faster the mobile data network will get without all those background polling iPhone apps hogging all the bandwidth!

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Steve Evans
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So...

Have they done anything to improve the battery munching habits, or are the "fanbois" doomed to all be unreachable after 4pm?

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Chinese hunters capture 'yeti'

Steve Evans
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Honestly....

It's like the UFO shots you see... Nobody who has any photographic ability sees a UFO.

Same goes for this creature, there are no reference points for size. This thing could be anywhere between the size of a rat and an elephant, there's no way to tell...

Although I'm erring on the side of rat... A bald one.

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Apple understates iPad demand

Steve Evans
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The big question...

Everyone seems to be missing the important point...

How many cups can you fit on the animated tea tray?

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Frisco fanboi frenzy on 'iPad Day'

Steve Evans
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May I be the 372nd to say...

You sad feckers

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Apple files 'in your face' iPhone patent

Steve Evans
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Hmmmm

I guess from the second diagram that a new iPhone will be released for these glasses, one with a sharpened bottom edge so it can be rammed through the bridge of the nose?

I guess this is Apple's way of relieving the excessive weight of a complete phone being rested on your nose. Remove the nose and spread the load out onto the cheek bones.

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Nokia N97 Mini

Steve Evans
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Ummm...

I'm not sure if this is a case of bad information, or just good old fashioned bad phrasing...

"N97 Mini: Despite it's name, this cut-down version of Nokia's chunky N97 actually only knocks a few milliemtres off the original, though it is a good 12g lighter. It's a wee bit thicker, though, because it's packing a sliding Qwerty keyboard."

The original N97 has a keyboard too... The mini is actually 1.7mm thinner.

If you really want to compare then - The mini loses the navigation pad to the left of the keyboard, has only 8GB flash storage (N97 has 32GB), has a smaller screen 3.2" vs 3.5", has a smaller battery (but somehow slightly better standby time).

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Woman finds Romanian living in shed

Steve Evans
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She should thank him...

If her shed was that easy to enter, and her powers of observation that weak, she could have been minus the lawnmower and garden furniture if he hadn't been there to guard them.

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Trustpilot prunes florid iFlorist tributes

Steve Evans
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Investigating?

I suspect the investigating need look no further than checking the IP in their logs!

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Humax HD-Fox T2 Freeview HD receiver

Steve Evans
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WTF?

Eh?

So the HD spec deliberately prevents companies making PVRs that record?

Wonderful...

Won't bother with that then. Being able to series link and schedule recordings, or even just pause whilst you go for a pee, has got to be the best thing to happen to TV since sliced bread. Even my parents have got to grips with it and love their SD Humax PVR.

On the list of critical features, I would put being able to record well above having HD. Hell, I'd put being able to record above it being in colour!

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Mammoth patent troll holder snags smartphone threat

Steve Evans
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Not long now...

Given the state of the US patent system there are two possible futures.

1) The entire US patent system will implode and collapse in on itself shortly after someone manages to file a patent which covers the running of a patent system, and then refuses to issue them a licence to use it.

2) Innovation in the US will stop. All engineers retrain as lawyers. Sales of BMW go through the roof.

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Is iFlorist the greatest website in the universe, ever?

Steve Evans
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Slightly obvious.

Not only do the positive reviews contain the grammar and spelling of an alcoholic teenager, but they read like spin pumped out by a PR droid.

I can only assume the PR droid in question has been outsourced to India.

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MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Steve Evans
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Sounds fair enough to me...

Can anyone name a company with tech support that is actually worth contacting?

Invariably they take days to reply. That reply will be little more than a fob off, just so they can mark the fault or query "closed" and make their stats look better.

My first port of call (after the manual) would be google and forums.

After that I'd try "tech support"... Now if tech support weren't dealing with muppets maybe those of us with a little more ability might actually get some useful support.

I'm sure I can't be alone in wanting to strangle the level 1 support as they read through their 20 minute script when you know exactly where the fault lies and would much rather speak to someone in level 2 or above.

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Vast 'Cloud 9' sky-wedding balloon destroyed in Vegas prang

Steve Evans
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"I don’t think you can expect something like this"

Sorry? You can't expect a huge gas bag floating in the great outdoors to get caught by the wind and blown about?

Me thinks you needed to get out more!

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iPhone, IE, Firefox, Safari get stomped at hacker contest

Steve Evans
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Email

The article does refer to Apple applying band-aids every time he emails them, so to me that sounds like he does inform them.

What's wrong with earning some cash from this? The man has to eat, and I'm damn sure Apple don't say "Thank you very much" and hand him a cheque every time he emails them an exploit. Which is a pity as I'm sure browser security would improve no end if the browser authors actually compensated security researchers for their hard work.

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Facebook warns over password reset scam

Steve Evans
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Unfortunately...

If the weak just died that wouldn't be so bad, but they don't, their machines collect nasty things, get involved in DDOS attacks and spew spam/viruses to all.

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Supersonic stealth jumpjet achieves its first mid-air hover

Steve Evans
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Okay... but...

It really doesn't strike me as anywhere near as elegant as the Harrier.

Can this thing convert from level flight to hover yet, or vice versa? Can it slam on the vertical thrust at speed and go straight up to evade a persuing aircraft? Can it fly backwards?

I can't see that barn door of a fan lid working very well at speed, it's either gonna slow the plane down too much before the big fan starts providing lift, or get ripped off! Assuming the hydraulics can force it open at x hundred knots.

If they made the fan roof door a pair which opened to the sides they might have more of a hope, but flipping it forward ruins any rear visibility for the pilot and must be like deploying a parachute!

Okay, yes, it's got super cruise etc etc, and the non hover version is a fine aircraft, I just think the hover version still has a way to go before it can compete with the ageing, but very competent Harrier.

That won't stop our unelected president Broon ordering a few dozen though.

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El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

Steve Evans
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Thank you...

And low a voice of reason did look upon the situation and did see it in the correct proportions.

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Nokia puts hive mind to work on Best Phone Ever

Steve Evans
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Actually...

It depends. A lot of firmware updates are delayed or just blocked by the carriers. Every Nokia phone has a ID code, different carriers have their own code, so can control the release (or not) of firmware updates. Even "unbranded" phones in the UK do not have a generic ID code, they have a UK CV (Country variant) code, which again is subject to a delay, although nobody seems to know what faceless bureaucrat is responsible for giving firmware releases a thumbs up for the UK CV models.

This is why I change the ID codes of all my Nokia phones to that of a generic Euro one. Unfortunately talk of doing such things is forbidden on the Nokia discussions forums, which is a pity as most of the complaints seem to centre around "Where is version xxx for my phone" and complaints of bugs which are resolved in a firmware release the victim isn't privy to.

I recently used my original N95-1 (not an unpleasant experience), and was amazed to find a firmware update for it was issued this year!

I think it only added the OVI store, but it was nice it wasn't forgotten.

I don't think the problem is long term support, I think the problem is they got caught slacking a bit and now they are rushing things out the door and not testing them properly before they are released.

Then again, maybe this isn't such a new thing. I remember the N95 was slated for it's battery life and various other issues when it first came out with early firmware... A few months down the line, a few firmware updates, and there was nothing wrong with it.

Just hope the same can be said for my N97!

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Street View plays spot the army numberplate

Steve Evans
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Hmmmm

Maybe it's the fact the letters are split onto two rows that confuses it.

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Flat-pack plug designer wins top award

Steve Evans
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Excellent...

Always likes the look of this...

Now if only it got BS or CE approval and a distribution deal...

Oh, and don't dodge making that slim multiplug either!

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Muso turfed off train for 'suspicious' set list

Steve Evans
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Black Helicopters

And once again...

Another group of wanna be Mussolinis (what on earth is the plural of Mussolini?) fail to grasp the simple fact that the number of terror attacks which have been discovered by random stops is a big round zero.

The sooner someone reminds them that intelligence is required (and then explains what intelligence is in this context) the sooner innocent musicians and photographers can go about their daily business. Even if said business involves them sitting on a train or going near a fish and chip shop.

Thank God that chip shops are local enough that a train journey is not required or we'd never get any Friday dinner.

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Waledac botnet 'decimated' by MS takedown

Steve Evans
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Well...

If recent drop in emails I have got recently through my mail servers advertising various magical pills and from my "bank" (The later usually containing hysterical spelling mistakes) is anything to go by I believe they must have done something right.

On the flip side, I've noticed an increase in emails of the "from My ISP" variety saying I need to update email setting and to run the attached zipped exe to do it automatically.

So I guess that means the zombie herders are trying to recruit new members to replace their fallen comrades.

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Giant flying pliers menace West Bromwich

Steve Evans
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Bull...

...nose I believe.

Looks like a bit of on the road repair was carried out, and the pliers left on the top (sky) camera.

I know, how boring, lets go back to the Vogon constructor fleet theory.

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Steve Evans
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Hmmm

I'm not sure. Whilst an impure iron sample could be responsible for the sub-standard result, I believe the pyramid itself may have been a cheap irregular Chinese manufactured one.

I've seen many Iron experiments ruined by bad geometry.

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Man gets 30 months in prison for taping nude sportscaster

Steve Evans
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I'm shocked...

...that an American court actually set a fine which is sensible and able to be paid by the offender!

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Crooks plant fake payment card terminals at multiple stores

Steve Evans
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How can this be...

After all we were all told the move to chip and pin would make things so much safer...

</sarcasm>

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Facebook users warned over stalk-my-profile scam

Steve Evans
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There's a shock...

I've given up telling my friends to stop inviting and joining these things. Some of them must have joined all the available variation and still failed to notice that none of them do what they advertise.

Maybe I should have an automated questionnaire sent out to any friend requests.

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Apple details iPad's 'breakthrough' mobile contract

Steve Evans
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Oooh...

That's an interesting one...

If Apple are using that "out", I can only assume that the moment an iPhone/iPad gets a flat battery, it forgets everything and returns to its as new state.

Then again, they might have used the safety "out"... People might try to eat the battery.

Or maybe it's made of highly dangerous radioactive squirrels.

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.com celebrates 25th birthday

Steve Evans
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symbolics?

Honestly, first registered .com and it's not

hello.com

test.com

dummy.com

Not good enough for ya eh? Not enough syllables?

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Nikon D3s

Steve Evans
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Drooooool...

I'm in lust!

HD Video? Pah, it's a DSLR, not a video cam-corder!

Next you'll be complaining it's not comfortable to hold against your eye for 30 minutes and why can't it have a forward eyepiece halfway down the lens and sit over your shoulder like a real pro video camera!

The video mode is a nice to have, not its reason d'etre, and 720p is perfectly good. Only a few years ago we were all happy watching 625 interlaced in the UK (512 in the states I believe) until someone convinced us all that we were watching pixels the size of tennis balls. Even now I'm sure that many of us are still "only" watching 720p. Hell I've still got several CRTs and they still don't make my eyes bleed despite all the hype.

I moved from a D80 to a D300 for better low light gig shooting, but this beasty is in another league! Just look at the pictures that baby takes, at that ISO, wow.... Droooooool...

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Steve Evans
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And...

That 28-70 lens is not a G series, it's a D... It's got an aperture ring... Oh, and the label says f/2.8D :-)

Plus the "new" instant focus override is a standard feature of all AF-S lenses.

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Lenovo ThinkPad Edge

Steve Evans
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Widescreen bad...

Widescreen is a pain in the bum for laptops.

I'm typing this on my trusty old Thinkpad R52, and I think I'll still be typing on this in another couple of years... Sure it's not fast and the battery is shagged, but I simply can't find any modern laptop that offers me the same (or better) screen real estate as the 15" 1400x1050 screen without it being a hugely oversized desktop replacement weighing twice as much.

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Nokia killed free navigation, alleges EU complaint

Steve Evans
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Happy...

I'm sure the EU are supposed to be protecting the customer, and as 1.4 million downloads show, there are a lot of people very happy that Nokia introduced turn by turn satnav for free. You can include me in that too.

Nav4All really should have been a little bit smarter.

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Botnet takedowns 'don't hurt crooks enough'

Steve Evans
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</title>

I don't think you'd need to move onto hand and foot removal.

After ten offences I believe mouse and keyboard operation would be impaired to such a level that further transgressions would be prevented!

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Intel pitches Atom storage platform

Steve Evans
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I thought you said cheaper?

I just followed your link, which went to another or your articles from late Feb...

"The DPS2000 will ship in March, come with AccuGard, with a manufacturer’s suggested retail price MSRP) from $2,290 for 4TB"

WTF? For home network? Good greif!

You could buy a 5 bay Thecus, powered by a good old fashioned Celeron and install 5 x 1Gig drives in it for half that!

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Orange backs Intel-Nokia Linux drive

Steve Evans
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I have no loyalty...

I just go for who will sell me the phone I want for the price I want to pay.

Unfortunately there really isn't much choice. Vodafone still seem to be rather fuddy duddy. O2 are bending over and taking it up the behind from St Jobs. The only two in the running for my last upgrade were T-mob and Orange, and as I was already with Orange they sorted me out a deal. Better the devil you know and all that... Plus being a long term Nokia owner I am all too aware of the firmware updates (which applies to all UK networks), the first thing I did was debrand the firmware.

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NFC breathes new life into tombstones

Steve Evans
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Research...?

What a strange choice of name... The Rosetta stone is famous for giving us the ability to translate Egyptian hieroglyphs, not for containing any directly useful content. I guess it just sounded cool.

Then again, thinking forward a few hundred years, maybe the name is a good choice, it took years to work out how to read the Rosetta stone!

Pity the EMP from the first shots of WWIII will fry the little chip.

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US 'Anubis' stealth assassin robo-missile nearly ready

Steve Evans
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Well...

In the absence of artillery/air support it'll deal with a sniper hidden in a mud brick house/compound or tucked up behind some rocks in an equally effective way.

There's nothing fair about sniping, IEDs or war in general.

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Hull Daily Mail exposes depraved local porncoder

Steve Evans
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Ooops...

Stop press : Man legally designs websites for legal businesses.

What next, the Hull Daily Mail goes after the inland revenue for profiting from the proceeds of non-crime?

Looks like HU17 has died under the load... Pity the same can't be said for the "newspaper" (word used in it's broadest possible term).

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Brits blame Apple, Nokia, RIM et al for smartphone woes

Steve Evans
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You probably can...

Well maybe not for the lens cover, but Nokia will change that for you if you report it. It was an early design/production problem. At least it has a lens cover!

As for the crashing/rebooting, well you probably can blame Vodafone, the networks delay/block firmware releases to the phones with their allocated model numbers, and what do firmware releases contain? Yup, bug fixes.

For some reason they feel they have to check each release to make sure it's compatible with their network (well that's what they say)... Odd since Nokia know a thing or two about mobile phones, and I don't see hundreds of Eurozone tourists stepping off the bus/boat/train/plane and finding their phone won't work on the UK networks...

Back in the days of the N95, Orange had their own version of firmware which crippled the VOIP over wifi function. That's when I hacked the model number of my N95 to generic Euro, and I've done it on every Nokia since. I've never regretted it.

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Steve Evans
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Paul...

What firmware are you running. If you are using a network supplied handset then I doubt you have the latest V21. The networks are also delaying (and in some cases blocking) firmware releases. Yet another way the networks make the phones look bad.

If you change the model code to a generic Euro one you can get the firmware when Nokia releases it, not when some faceless/nameless gap year student from the network decides it's okay to issue.

However Nokia do take some of the blame, the firmware updates are supposed to be able to be applied without touching any user data. I have never found my N97 to be particularly happy after this kind of update, so I prefer to do a complete wipe and fresh install. Kinda like your 6 month old XP install needs.

So assuming you've now changed the model number to generic...

Remove any MicroSD. Back up your phone. format the mass storage, do a hard reset. Then update the firmware. Format the mass storage again and hard reset again.

You should then have a totally clean phone. Restore user files/contacts/notes/calendar/bookmarks from the backup. Don't restore device specific settings, they are invariably the one that have got messed up.

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Street View spymobiles invade CeBIT

Steve Evans
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Are you sure?

Are you sure this was deliberate, they look like they've just been driven out of another unpopular survey by a mob with shares in Dulux! Last time I saw runs that bad was during a bout of the norovirus.

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Brass necked suspect swallows USB evidence

Steve Evans
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Stamping is unlikely to work.

Stamping will probably just damage the outer case of the drive. The data is on a bit of silicon which is enclosed in it's own solid plastic case soldered to the circuit board inside.

Even if you break the outer case, and the circuit board, getting access is just a matter of some soldering. Even if you did manage to snap the flash chip casing you'd need to snap the bit of silicon inside to really do the job properly, and that's hard because it's very small, and the entire flash package is a solid mass, akin to trying to break a stone by stamping on it.

I had a mobile phone run over by a landrover, and no chips or circuit boards broke. The plastic case cracked (it's not solid) and the screen broke (it's a long thin bit of glass). Everything else inside was fine, as proved by just replacing the LCD and everything worked again.

If you really want to destroy a flash drive you are better off hitting it with something solid that isn't going to cushion the blow, like a 7ib club hammer. Comparatively soft things like shoes and vehicle tyres just spread the force out too much.

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Steve Evans
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Ditto...

I suspect it would have survived pretty well... If it would have managed to complete its journey unaided without getting stuck, or doing some internal damage is another story.

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Asus assures no more delays for keyboard-computer

Steve Evans
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Yup...

I never said it would be pretty though... I'm planning on using the curves from a 1970s Volvo :-)

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Microsoft wants to put infected PCs in rubber room

Steve Evans
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Gates Horns

Maybe...

Maybe If M$ didn't distribute system knobbling software like WGA, maybe those machines would have stayed on auto update and be patched against a lot of the exploits that are currently doing the rounds... But no, you didn't want people using your software illegally, and now there are countries full of machines which haven't had an update since XP SP2.

Thanks so much.

Personally I think ISPs should do a bit of monitoring... A machine suddenly making 100 SMTP connections to multiple servers over the course of an hour should make alarm bells start ringing.

Surely not too hard to spot, when you've finished checking for P2P connections of course.

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Woman called Window joins Apple

Steve Evans
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Ah...

So you mean she has a secret identity?

Diamond Bit?

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Steve Evans
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WTF?

Where do these people get their names?

Honestly, there's one thing having a foreign name, but I seriously doubt there is any country on the planet where Window would be classed as normal.

Well apart from in America.

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