Feeds

* Posts by Steve Evans

2355 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Regent Street blocked by iPad fanboi swarm

Steve Evans
Silver badge

re:...you went toRegent street? Moooooooo....

Reminds me of the O2 late opening iPhone "hype"... I went to my local highstreet (where I could park after 6pm for free) and walked to the O2 store... Man on the door looked excited and went to hand me a numbered ticket. I brushed him aside and wandered into the shop, bought the 8gig MicroSD card I wanted, and wandered off again.

There were more staff that customers.

That's probably to one and only thing I would thank Apple for... Saving me 70p parking when i wanted that memory card for my Nokia... *snigger*

Re your father, mine isn't quite as old as yours, but I wouldn't trust mine with anything made after 1970... He'd have it in bits looking for the valves (vacuum tubes to those in the colonies)!

0
0

'Draw Mohammed' page removed from Facebook

Steve Evans
Silver badge

What are they hiding?

Was he really really ugly?

Come on, he couldn't have been that bad, have a look at Oliver "Warts and all" Cromwell, and we've got a statue of him outside parliament!

2
0

Google halts deletion of Street View Wi-Fi data

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Curious...

France said keep it? Isn't there some kind of strange law in France about accessing a wireless point from outside a building or something like that?

0
0

Most browsers leave fingerprint that can ID users

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Flame

Well...

My firefox 3.6.3 exploded (and offered to send the bug report to MS), how unique is that?!

0
0

Exam board deletes C and PHP from CompSci A-levels

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Delphi is a modern language!

To anyone that hasn't tried it, Delphi is really nice. It's object Pascal.

I came up the commodore PET route, Commodore Basic, then BBC Basic, then 6502 machine code, Z80, a bit of 68000 then 8086, VB, C and Delphi.

Given complete free reign I go straight for Delphi. strictly typed and readable, not like C's compile anything but who knows what it'll do style! And the "please don't make me come back and modify it later" syntax!

It's very hard to write the kind of security flaws we see every day if it had been written in Delphi, 99% of the time it just wouldn't compile. Buffer overflows of strings would be hard to exploit as Delphi has very powerful native string handling that doesn't rely on the programmer keeping tabs on how big his lump of allocated memory is and performing bounds checking manually.

That's not to say you are insulated from the real guts of the machine, you could do it C style if you wanted to, but you'd have to be insane to really want to!

Unfortunately on a day to day basis I have to use C... Oh well, that's microcontrollers for you, but I cringe every time I have to do anything with strings. I might as well be programming in machine code.

If you want to give it a try go, grab FPC (Free Pascal Compiler) and the GUI front end Lazarus. Free and open source for Windows and Linux.

1
0

Mystery fungus smacks Afghan opium poppies

Steve Evans
Silver badge

@Les Matthew

Sorry, too subtle for text only I guess... There was plenty of sarcasm in that, believe me!

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Oh of course...

"Some farmers suggest NATO troops have sprayed their crops with chemicals, but this was rejected by the UN Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) head Antonio Maria Costa."

The USA has never used chemicals/biological agents to destroy plants and crops of an enemy have they...

To be honest I would find them *not* taking advantage of a natural fungus and *not* breeding it up in a lab and then airborne spraying it incompetent!

3
0

Apple iPad

Steve Evans
Silver badge

RE: laptop replacement

"until the iPad, there was no other solution for casual web browser, email reading, quick look up of imdb while watching a movie"

I find that hard to believe as I regularly use my mobile phone to do just what you describe, and you do kinda sound like you'd own an iphone.

2
0

NFC will help you find your car - if you're next to it

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Agreed

I had one of those! Probably the most trouble free immobiliser I have ever had. No batteries to go flat in the fob.

0
0

Airport plods seize man with electric vibro-pleasure shoes

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Sounds fair enough to me...

Having batteries in your shoes is a bit odd, and to be honest, asking for trouble. So well done to the x-ray man for actually doing his job and thinking they were worth further investigation.

However, holding him beyond the point where the shoes were found to be innocent is a little heavy handed, but at least there is some logic to the behaviour of the security services this time. Unlike the time I was stopped with a sealed 125g jar of marmite in my hand luggage... Just for the record trying to explain the difference between a liquid volume measure of 100ml and a mass measurement of 125g to a security droid is pointless.

0
0

Apple prices up iPad for UK

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Happy

Ah-hem...

Not just any old vodka please... Żubrówka!

Na zdrowie

0
0

Nokia tops iPhone and BlackBerry (again)

Steve Evans
Silver badge

re: Profits of doom...?

Healthier?

I think the word you were looking for is greedier.

2
1
Steve Evans
Silver badge

Well done!

You've found worldwide figures at last instead of copy/pasting the Apple-centric US only figures.

1
0

Boffins turn Bunsen burners on Frank Skinner

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Re: Stupid -gate suffixes and settled science

I'm waiting for scandal involving a gate!

1
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

re: "Science isn't fun, It’s just maths in fancy dress"

Well done Skinner, you just slagged off my two favourite, and best, subjects! (Actually back in my day it was Physics and Mathematics, but these days they just throw all the sciences together).

Go back to watching grown men kick round an inflated bit of cow and just switch your head off.

1
0

Clive Sinclair weds ex-lap-dancer fiancee

Steve Evans
Silver badge

C5 :-)

I've ridden one round the Brooklands banking and the Mercedes test track/skid pan... No they don't go fast enough to get the tail end out, although I believe the DIY 24v modified one did before the wheel hub collapsed!

A right giggle, but as practical transport, a joke.

Far too many design shortcuts... If you push them backwards you blow diodes!

0
1

Cops raid Gizmodo editor in pursuit of iPhone 4G 'felony'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Good grief...

Talk about heavy handed.

Wouldn't a quick phone call containing the words "Hello Sir, this is the Police, we've had a phone call from St Jobs, would you mind giving his phone back please?" have done the job?

I see a lot of Apple gear in that inventory of confiscated gear, I hope he remembers how he was treated when it comes to upgrade time...

0
0

Nokia's lost weekend ends with N8?

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Xenon flash!

About bloody time... They had one of these on one of the E series phones, but never put it on the N series.

Forget the megapixels though, the sensor is far too small to see anything except noise. Nokia, keep the Xenon flash, but just put in the 5megapixel camera and lens from the N95/N97, it's perfectly good.

If I want 12mp I'll pick up my Nikon, it has sensor photosites big enough for photnos to get in!

1
0

Jobsian drones shackle gamer with 'lifetime' iPad ban

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmm...

I wonder how they define lifetime... How much would you have to have replaced to qualify as having a nice life... Maybe a liver?

3
0

Security maven turns tables on fibbing police

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ummm...

How can the police arrest him for something other than refusing to provide ID and then not elaborate what he was arrested for? Surely what he was arrested for will be on the charge sheet?

0
0

Sky punts 'truly unlimited' 20Mb/s broadband

Steve Evans
Silver badge
FAIL

LMAO!

2GB limit, I hope they print that nice and large... If (and I know it's a big if) you did really get 20Mb/s download rate you'd murder that 2GB limit in under 15 minutes!

Too funny!

That's like owning a Ferrari with a 1 gallon fuel tank, and a time lock on the filler cap!

0
0

Cybercrooks befuddled by Icelandic volcano name

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Thanks...

Thanks for the link, that was actually interesting...

I have to wonder about his invented language though, did he make the same howling mistake that Zamenhof made? Namely including the pointless genders for inanimate objects, which serve no purpose other than to reinforce the belief held by every English speaking school boy that all other languages are "stupid". I note that he does include Esperanto in his list, so I'm not hopeful he has learnt from this.

Sufferers from aspergers are famously unable to relate to or put themselves in the shoes of others (namely us pour saps who can't learn a language is a week) so my hopes are really fading very fast...

Actually this might explain the new language, what better way is there of avoiding interacting and relating to others! I guess Esperanto was just too popular for him!

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

ahhh...

Krakatoa is referred to by name, Mount St Helens, Vesuvius and Etna are also... Yet for reasons I just cannot understand, the current one is just known as "The Icelandic volcano".

And I bet the news casters thought the casualty list from the Polish air disaster was bad enough!

0
0

Adobe gives up on the iPhone

Steve Evans
Silver badge

So true...

99% of iPhone app functions can be performed on other phones by a monkey capable of typing into google and then saving the page as a bookmark for later direct access.

0
0

Nokia: digital SLRs are doomed

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Nikon D3S

You should see the high ISO HD video shot by the D3S, I wish I still had the link, they did a side by side comparison with various video capable DSLRs. The D3S has the most amazing ability to see in the dark, and even when there is noise it's far more organic and acceptable than the Canon's.

A room full of professional video cameramen and production staff sat there going "WTF?!!!!"

0
0

'Gossips' say Apple will acquire ARM

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Jobs Horns

Keep going...

If it's portable and battery powered, the odds are it has an ARM processor in it... Sat-navs (Tomtom), MP3 players (Archos), games (Nintendo DS(i) has an ARM7 *and* an ARM9).

These things are everywhere! I wouldn't be surprised to find there are more ARM core processors running on the planet than Windows operating systems! (And I don't just mean cos half of the windows machines are crashing instead of running!).

/me comes over all patriotic and stands to attention as he starts humming "God save the queen".

As for Apple buying them... God help us all!

3
0

'iPhone 4G' found on floor of bar

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I thought that...

...but then I read one of the stories and it says the guy who found it tried ringing Apple several times, even getting as far as raising a ticket number! But that nobody from Apple had called back, so after a couple of weeks he decided to see if anyone else was interested.

I'd say he'd made more than reasonable attempts to return the item, so he should be fine.

1
0

eBay shill bid scammer convicted

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Yeah right...

ebay might welcome it, but they do sod all to stop it.

This incident was stumbled upon by accident by trading standards!

ebay don't even do basic checks like multiple accounts on the same IP one bidding on an item and the other selling.

They even tried hiding the bidders completely, making all auctions anonymous until there was a huge "you're having a laugh" outcry.

They're on commission after all!

2
0

'al-Qaeda suicide cat' sends US Iraq war robots out of control

Steve Evans
Silver badge

A cat?!!

Good grief, they really need to look at the gaps in their panelling!

They should be thankful it was only a cat. a rat or mouse would get through a far smaller hole and chew random cables quite happily. They should thank the cat for keeping the rodents out!

1
0

Angry Romanian hackers deface Telegraph for Top Gear toss

Steve Evans
Silver badge
Welcome

Ah....

The strain of giving us free reign on the allergic reaction death sentence story has finally proved too much.

I for one welcome our returning 8 inch heel wearing modermatrix... Grrrr!

3
0

Opera Mini tops the iTunes chart, but can it make any money?

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Popular...

Opera is very popular on the Symbian platform, has been for years. The Nokia N95 built in browser was always pants, but that didn't matter because Opera Mini worked on it brilliantly. Still does.

If the USA had some Symbian handsets then I'm sure the market penetration would have been far higher by now.

1
0

Death row inmate claims allergy to lethal injection

Steve Evans
Silver badge

I doubt there is going to much shock at what we are in here...

I predict 99.9% of comments to say

WTF?!

and bullet or knock him out first.

Personally I will buck my own prediction and say he should be lowered, slowly, into a jumbo food mixer and featured on the next episode of "Will it blend".

1
2

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Picture?

Even the daily star website doesn't have one, just a picture of a wii...

You just know she'll be a complete shocker don't you... Nymphos are never how you want them to be, or twins.

4
0

French city in pedestrian-powered streetlight plan

Steve Evans
Silver badge

A pain...

Keeping a pavement like that working will be a nightmare, what happens the first time a utility company wants to dig it up, you can see the red tape nightmare already can't you. Or alternatively Pierre with his JCB going straight through it and then saying "Le Oooops".

Surely the answer is a combination of "tricks" on the lights themselves.

1) Energy efficient lamp

2) Solar panel

3) Wind generator

4) Deep cycle energy storage

5) Motion detector so lamp is only on when someone needs it.

All those could be built into the street lamps themselves, so direct slot in replacements, not requiring a pavement to be dug up.

If they really want to mess about with the pavements, how about they make them into a solar panel, with inset LEDs and motion detection of some sort (pressure, strain etc) and we can all be Michael Jackson.

1
0

BlackBerry sees iPhone shrink in rear view mirror

Steve Evans
Silver badge

US centric figures...

It would be nice to see figures for the whole world, not just the US.

Real world figures would have everyone behind Symbian, which has been powering smart phones since before Apple and Blackberry even thought of making them.

At least this time the article does almost make it obvious they are using US only figures, it's just a pity that with the smart phone market the US view is completely out of sorts with the rest of the world.

Oh well, guess this is what we should expect from a .co.uk website where 90% of the writers appear to live in CA.

3
0

Apple to reveal hallowed iPhone 4.0 on Thursday

Steve Evans
Silver badge

@A/C

Have I used one? Frequently. I know several people with them.

I can only assume that your 1st gen is far better than the 3G and 3GS models my friends have. They seem to be constantly getting into each others cars and asking if they can borrow the car charger, or in the case of my iphone owning brother, pinching one of my power sockets every time he pops round to visit.

I really must rewire my 13A sockets across two phases... 415V of AC goodness up the fruit device.

0
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

*groan*

It would be nice if they all did fade out mid-afternoon, just think how much faster the mobile data network will get without all those background polling iPhone apps hogging all the bandwidth!

2
0
Steve Evans
Silver badge

So...

Have they done anything to improve the battery munching habits, or are the "fanbois" doomed to all be unreachable after 4pm?

4
1

Chinese hunters capture 'yeti'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Honestly....

It's like the UFO shots you see... Nobody who has any photographic ability sees a UFO.

Same goes for this creature, there are no reference points for size. This thing could be anywhere between the size of a rat and an elephant, there's no way to tell...

Although I'm erring on the side of rat... A bald one.

0
0

Apple understates iPad demand

Steve Evans
Silver badge

The big question...

Everyone seems to be missing the important point...

How many cups can you fit on the animated tea tray?

0
0

Frisco fanboi frenzy on 'iPad Day'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

May I be the 372nd to say...

You sad feckers

1
0

Apple files 'in your face' iPhone patent

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Hmmmm

I guess from the second diagram that a new iPhone will be released for these glasses, one with a sharpened bottom edge so it can be rammed through the bridge of the nose?

I guess this is Apple's way of relieving the excessive weight of a complete phone being rested on your nose. Remove the nose and spread the load out onto the cheek bones.

0
0

Nokia N97 Mini

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Ummm...

I'm not sure if this is a case of bad information, or just good old fashioned bad phrasing...

"N97 Mini: Despite it's name, this cut-down version of Nokia's chunky N97 actually only knocks a few milliemtres off the original, though it is a good 12g lighter. It's a wee bit thicker, though, because it's packing a sliding Qwerty keyboard."

The original N97 has a keyboard too... The mini is actually 1.7mm thinner.

If you really want to compare then - The mini loses the navigation pad to the left of the keyboard, has only 8GB flash storage (N97 has 32GB), has a smaller screen 3.2" vs 3.5", has a smaller battery (but somehow slightly better standby time).

0
0

Woman finds Romanian living in shed

Steve Evans
Silver badge

She should thank him...

If her shed was that easy to enter, and her powers of observation that weak, she could have been minus the lawnmower and garden furniture if he hadn't been there to guard them.

2
0

Trustpilot prunes florid iFlorist tributes

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Investigating?

I suspect the investigating need look no further than checking the IP in their logs!

1
0

Humax HD-Fox T2 Freeview HD receiver

Steve Evans
Silver badge
WTF?

Eh?

So the HD spec deliberately prevents companies making PVRs that record?

Wonderful...

Won't bother with that then. Being able to series link and schedule recordings, or even just pause whilst you go for a pee, has got to be the best thing to happen to TV since sliced bread. Even my parents have got to grips with it and love their SD Humax PVR.

On the list of critical features, I would put being able to record well above having HD. Hell, I'd put being able to record above it being in colour!

0
0

Mammoth patent troll holder snags smartphone threat

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Not long now...

Given the state of the US patent system there are two possible futures.

1) The entire US patent system will implode and collapse in on itself shortly after someone manages to file a patent which covers the running of a patent system, and then refuses to issue them a licence to use it.

2) Innovation in the US will stop. All engineers retrain as lawyers. Sales of BMW go through the roof.

1
0

Is iFlorist the greatest website in the universe, ever?

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Slightly obvious.

Not only do the positive reviews contain the grammar and spelling of an alcoholic teenager, but they read like spin pumped out by a PR droid.

I can only assume the PR droid in question has been outsourced to India.

3
0

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Steve Evans
Silver badge

Sounds fair enough to me...

Can anyone name a company with tech support that is actually worth contacting?

Invariably they take days to reply. That reply will be little more than a fob off, just so they can mark the fault or query "closed" and make their stats look better.

My first port of call (after the manual) would be google and forums.

After that I'd try "tech support"... Now if tech support weren't dealing with muppets maybe those of us with a little more ability might actually get some useful support.

I'm sure I can't be alone in wanting to strangle the level 1 support as they read through their 20 minute script when you know exactly where the fault lies and would much rather speak to someone in level 2 or above.

3
0

Vast 'Cloud 9' sky-wedding balloon destroyed in Vegas prang

Steve Evans
Silver badge

"I don’t think you can expect something like this"

Sorry? You can't expect a huge gas bag floating in the great outdoors to get caught by the wind and blown about?

Me thinks you needed to get out more!

1
0