* Posts by Steve Evans

2390 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Microsoft becoming Apple with Windows 8 control freakery?

Steve Evans
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Holmes

I don't blame them...

MS pick up a lot of stick for crashes and BSOD on windows PC, 99 times out of 100 the problem is caused by crappy drivers. They tried to introduce driver signing, but that just resulted in the approved drivers being so out of date, nobody wanted to use them.

In the PC world the BSOD is damn annoying (although thankfully getting rarer), but MS are dominant in the desktop PC market, so they aren't too worried.

Now they are trying to break into a market where Apple are dominant. Like it or not, one thing Apple phones and pads do is work. They might be annoying, frustrating and controlled to an extent which would make an anal retentive blush, but one thing they don't do is go *BORK*. MS really can't afford to pick up a reputation for machines that go *BORK* all the time. The solution, only approve a restricted selection of hardware. That way they can keep on top of the drivers, and I guess hold a big "If you don't sort out this problem, you'll be off the next approved list" hammer over the manufacturers.

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Stealth-cam software snaps laptop looter

Steve Evans
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Re: @Steve Evans

That's grim.

The cops are really going to have to start taking this kind of information seriously or with the current crop of GPS enabled devices, people are going to start taking the law into their own hands.

What would be perfect though would be getting his online banking details, log in, transfer the value of the stolen goods (plus a little bit for your trouble) into your account and tag them with "payment for stolen laptop".

Bet he would never report that!

I'm rather lucky in that a close personal friend is a cop, and he's rather old school when it comes to dealing with crims, he loves nothing more than a good scuffle with a few broken bones. He calls it job satisfaction. So that would be my first phone call.

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Steve Evans
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@AC

Wiping the machine was probably your downfall. He either skipped it as faulty, or passed it onto someone more technical. Most probably the former.

Best thing you can do in this kind of situation is keep your head down and harvest everything you can from the guy. The cops far prefer the old "caught him red handed with the stolen goods" than anything complicated and technical.

I confess, I would probably Frape him a bit just for the giggle.

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Barnsley clamps down on foul-mouthed fu*king locals

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

"The ban is apparently aimed at attracting more shoppers into the centre of Barnsley

I hope they have some good discounts on, I wouldn't fancy getting slapped with a fine for my usual reaction to the list price of some products!

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Personal jetpacks and solar-powered ships

Steve Evans
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re: Er...

You silly billy, he could have dismantled his mast, and used it to fashion some oars with the solar panels as the paddles.

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Steve Evans
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re: The wind isn't always there when you need it.

Ummm, neither is the sun ;-)

At least when there is no wind, you have some nice clam weather to sit about in

Glad you bobbed back intact.

Now go fix that engine!

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Steve Evans
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Solar power on a ship....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure there are already some very tried, test and successful non-fossil/nuclear ways to move a ship through water...

Oh what are they called...

Damn my memory...

Oh yes, sails!

So stop messing about on the water (a clipper ship would embarrass you if you happened to meet one) and focus on getting enough panels onto a practical car!

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Chicago lawyer deploys distractionary dumplings

Steve Evans
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Christina Hendricks....

Oh... No... sorry, I've gone again.

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Steve Evans
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Sorry....

Did someone say something, I got distracted by boobies.

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Android app sales skimpy, sluggish, slack, scanty...

Steve Evans
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@Gary F

Yes, Android 2.2 supports tethering.

I agree, that's an annoying omission by both Google and Apple. I've had a long line of Nokia devices which would tether straight out of the box, and I used them for that on several occasions when I had no other internet connection. I remember using an N70 in 2005. I think the 6600 I had before could do it too via irDA, but I don't remember using it.

I don't understand the more money than sense iPhone users either. I can see the 3GS being justifiable now that they're old stock and almost free with a pack of cornflakes, but the whole "must be at the cutting edge, here's my wallet" urge completely escapes me when it comes to mobile devices these days.

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Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

Steve Evans
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GOT IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61cxvXxqeEA

Skip to 4:40, unless you speak Italian and want to listen to a nunn talking.

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McKinnon's mum applauds Obama extradition stance

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

Everyone calls it the V for vendetta mask, but if you read the book, the mask worn is described as a Guy Fawkes mask.

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Steve Evans
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@LMFAO!

So in summary, no different to any of the others then?

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Steve Evans
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Yeah right...

“It's now in the hands of the British legal system. We have confidence in the British legal system coming to a just conclusion, and so we will await resolution and we will be respectful of that process.”

Shall I translate that for you?

"We (the Americans) have submitted all the correct legal paperwork to the British government for the extradition, we now await the British government to follow the laid down rules and guidelines in our very one sided agreement, and chuck Gary on a plane as soon as they are satisfied the forms are correct".

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Fourth Euro star truck christened Albert Einstein

Steve Evans
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Re: nasty gases

A lot of time is spent ensuring that things on board do not release nasty gases. Astronauts will unfortunately produce some smelly, but non-lethal varieties, but you've got a limited supply of oxygen, so you can't just go venting it into space just because someone has been on the sprouts!

Given that washing facilities are also rather basic, I think it's pretty certain that a space station does get pretty smelly.

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Yanks officially recognise the word 'boffin'

Steve Evans
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About time...

Boffin has only been about since the 40's! Well done Rik. Bardzo dobry.

And I thought a twee was what Jonathon Ross had growing in the garden.

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Steve Evans
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@Naughtyhorse

Unfortunately "Math" and "Maths" is one of those divisions in our common language, one of the few which if very obvious when spoken, and yes, it makes me cringe too!

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iOS 4 hardware encryption cracked

Steve Evans
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Errr...

Sorry, but are you saying hackers which are providing cracking methods to governments and snoop services are the white hats?

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Oz paper in todger-based trivia quiz outrage

Steve Evans
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Not an Aussie

I'm a Pome, and I've certainly heard "Peter" used this way.

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BT cheerfully admits snooping on customer LANs

Steve Evans
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Ha!

Having just got a Home Hub 3 last week, I can only envy the "victims" of this intrusion. The wall-wart of my HH3 threw so much RF down the ring mains that my previously reliable Zyxel powerline adapters refused to communicate!

Unplug the HH3 power adapter and suddenly they can handshake and work again.

Luckily 12v 1amp power adapters are pretty common in my house, so the BT supplied one was quickly consigned to the bin.

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Researchers find irreparable flaw in popular CAPTCHAs

Steve Evans
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Gotta love wolfram alpha...

Up until now I had no idea how much wood a woodchuck could chuck...

Anyway, back to the topic. It's amazing that there are actually still sites out on the net that don't implement any form of captcha. I remember once suggesting it in an email to gumtree, and the reply I received was so snotty that I never visited the site again. Hopefully the moron who replied to me has been sacked for incompetence by now, and they have implemented something, but I won't hold my breath.

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Apple to support reps: Don't confirm Mac infections

Steve Evans
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Re: AppleCare, not Genius Bar

I know, but it does make for a great mental image :-)

Thanks for the pro-tip, but I'd already worked out that a techie worth his salt is very unlikely to want to be slapped in a retail store doing 9-5:30 and faced with the public asking dumb questions - most of us have enough of that from immediate family members! ;-)

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Steve Evans
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Genius bar...

The genius bar is going to look a bit stupid if they're not allowed to confirm or deny... What are they supposed to do, shrug and mumble "Dunno"?

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Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

Steve Evans
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Oh the plus side...

They're aren't many fanatical follower of any teaching who have received such an obviously "Get a grip" slap round the chops, so maybe he might stop being quite such a loon.

Then again, he'll probably go completely postal now and go down in a hail of bullets whilst screaming "There is no god!!!! Muwahahahahaha" - He doesn't strike me as the kind of person who could just go quietly.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Family Radio website design

Really? Looked the same to me, complete with the end of the world date still displayed.

I couldn't access it at all over the weekend, so assumed he'd only paid for his hosting in advance until 22nd, which would have made sense!

With his level of conviction I would have expected a date dependant change, so it would now be showing message normally reserved for the front bumpers of trucks, namely "If you can read this, you're f*cked".

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Who's nicked Vaz's fondleslab?

Steve Evans
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Would this be?

Would this be the Same Keith Vaz who claimed £75,000 in expenses for a flat twelve miles commute from his home?

If so I hope we didn't pay for his Apple tea tray too!

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El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

Steve Evans
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FAIL

What? No comments?

Epic fail... Back to RSS feed.

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Apple App Store apps are often old, vulnerable versions

Steve Evans
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Re: Yeah but , no but!

I assume you are referring to the Android log in token... The problem which was already fixed in the latest OS versions (unfortunately delayed by manufacturers and carriers), and then fixed for all on the servers by google?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/18/google_android_security_fix/

Seems like a perfect example of why having software updates delayed by a middle man is a bad idea.

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Apple proposes even tinier SIMs for future iPhones, iPads

Steve Evans
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"Plans for them to eventually disappear entirely"

So leaving you completely screwed if you want to use your phone abroad and want to use a local sim to avoid the roaming.

And what if you happen to shatter the oh so easy to shatter gorilla glass? You can't take the sim out and use another phone, they have to send the phone and whole phone back to their mobile company and sit twiddling your thumbs.

Being able to port your number by having a simple sim which is standard and user swappable between handsets is essential, and something that already exists (for everyone bar iphone 4 owners) thanks you Apple!

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Popular gamers 'should play for free' – Valve boss

Steve Evans
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re: pay for voice

...a feature I switched off within the first 20 minutes after discovering I seem to be playing on a server full of high pitched teens with all the communication skills of a three year old... Aka a constant, one-way stream of incomprehensible babble.

The total inability to adjust a microphone level correctly (even though a pretty level indicator is provided) can lead to only one conclusion, they are all deaf from the terrible music they listen to these days... So in conclusion Simon Cowell has destroyed multiplayer online game communication.

I think you'll find my theory is solid.

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Russian rumor: Microsoft to buy Nokia for $30bn

Steve Evans
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There's a shock...

Well actually, it is a bit of a shock. I would have expected M$ to do it's normal trick of nigh on destroying a company completely before picking it up for $5, so they really must be in a hurry to be thinking of buying the company for some big cash before they have finished completely wrecking it.

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Nokia finally gives Ovi brand a mercy bullet

Steve Evans
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Sounds like docking manoeuvre over several years

Large, well known and trusted mobile company creates an irrelevant and largely unwanted new brand as a side arm.

Over the next few years the large and trusted mobile company shoots itself (and customers) in the foot (and other non-fatal areas) until the large and trusted mobile company has become irrelevant and unwanted. It is now perfectly aligned to the side arm is created, so a perfect docking manoeuvre is now possible.

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Reg ed rattles the Red-Headed League

Steve Evans
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Re: Steve Button

But where do you want to draw the line? I might not be ginger, but I've gone through my life being a tall lanky streak of piss four eyed computer geek.

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Student accused of posting bogus coupons to 4chan

Steve Evans
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@Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Yup, you're right, the EU did indeed mumble something about UK chocolate not containing enough cocoa. I don't know what happened to that, we probably just ignored them, we tend to do that. They're a strange lot over there in Euroland and they come up with some odd ideas being cut off from us for so long. Who would have thought that 24 miles of water could have such an effect on them :o)

Anyway, Euroland does indeed have some superb choccy, although having partaken in an office test where we had squares of choccy with increasing levels of cocoa, only females seem to be able to endure above 75%. All us guys were pulling faces by that point and reaching for the "weaker" stuff.

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Steve Evans
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re: Flavoured paraffin?

LOL! Nice one!

Having also tried the kisses (I was forced to by an American friend. She force feed them to a room full of us Brits and just couldn't understand the unanimous verdict). I'm starting to wonder about how it compares to another hideous form of "chocolate" that has been described to me by a Polish friend. Apparently it was something the Eastern block had to endure before the wall came down. My friend refers to it as communist chocolate which, she said, contained 0% cocoa, or maybe less!

No idea where I'd find some of that now. It would be funny if the USA and USSR were both eating similar brown vomit flavoured paraffin.

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Crucial M4 256GB Sata 3 SSD

Steve Evans
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Re: Wrong!

Plus I doubt there is any CPU upgrade you can perform that would result in a 300% performance increase which didn't involve buying a completely new motherboard and replacing all your RAM because it's last year's style and now completely wrong.

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TomTom Oz to repeat Netherlands data sale

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

In this example everyone else was doing the normal, slow down gently for the cameras, then accelerate +10mph afterwards, all pretty normal on the A12, it's just a couple of morons, one in an Astra VXR (with a number plate to match) and another in a Golf GTI, who decided everyone was accelerating too gently and buried the loud pedal into the carpet straight after the cameras and then proceeded to use all three lanes as a slalom! The VXR almost did a pit manoeuvre on himself when he cut across in front of me he was so close.

So it wasn't so much their speed which was worrying, it was their driving style and ability (both youngster who thought they were Lewis Hamilton I guess). If anyone else had been driving with the same lack of attention or consideration to others as these two clowns were and did something quite normal like changing lane without indicating, there would have been a huge pile up.

Luckily as I'm also a motorcyclist, I have long known to treat all other road users as if they are complete idiots who are out to kill you, because 9 times out of 10, you'll be spot on!

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Steve Evans
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How about...

...They come clean and make the information available to motorists too, a nice overlay in open format so everyone can load it into their sat navs and be warned of roads where the speed limit is frequently broken and likely to have PC plod parked up on the side.

BTW, if any PC plod is reading this, would you mind putting a few unmarked cars down the A12 between the A406 and A11. We all know everyone only slows down to 40 and 50 for the cameras on this dual carriageway (artificially low and varying limit), so a bit of speeding is perfectly normal for this road, but in the past few days I have seen so many cars using it as a three lane mobile chicane (and I mean travelling at speed 10-20mph faster than everyone else) I'm seriously thinking of setting up a dashboard cam and a youtube account!

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ACS:Law fined for data breach

Steve Evans
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@Lee

Okay, who's up for seducing his wife and causing a divorce?

No, I don't know what she looks like!

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Steve Evans
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Skint lawyer?

Don't worry, the bailiffs will happily take your TV, Car and house.

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Google Docs

Steve Evans
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Re: Webapp

A large percentage of apps on iPhone/Android/Ovi are little more than that. Nothing that couldn't be implemented by a properly written mobile CSS definition and used via the browser.

There are some superbly implemented websites out there which show just how much can be done without any need for an (wr)app.

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MobileMe drove Steve Jobs to foul-mouthed fury

Steve Evans
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What?

James Hewitt owns Wales?!!!

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Steve Evans
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@Chris 244

Your maths is a little confusing.

1) A USB port will shut down and throw up a warning if you try to draw too much current. It won't fry.

2) 5v * 500mA = 2.5watts, so a USB port can supply 2.5watts per hour, so it could just about keep up with a XOOM drawing 24Watts over 10 hours.

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Steve Evans
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Hmmmm...

I'm not a Jobs fan, but I actually find some of the style revealed in the article refreshing.

These days it seems rare for any manager to take responsibility for things they are supposedly in charge of, normally it's the poor guy at the bottom who gets shat on from a great height. So to hear that St Jobs listens to the little guy and rips into the stuffed shirt is wonderful.

I'm sure most of us have experience of managers who would actually assist production more if they didn't exist.

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Entrants called for 80s-era games coding contest

Steve Evans
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Cool....

I'll dust off my beeb... Has anyone got any 5.25" floppies I can use, I think mine aren't as reliable as they once were!

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TalkTalk serves up website blocking to users

Steve Evans
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I thought...

I thought that simply relying on TalkTalk's DNS was already a website blocking feature?

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Jaguar hybrid supercar gets green light

Steve Evans
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Woooo...

Who cares about the emissions and what's under the bonnet, just look at it!

Want!

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Samsung, Apple knock Nokia off top handset spots

Steve Evans
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Re: Apple trolling.

I thought that when I first read the article, but it's just badly written.

There are actually two sets of figures in there. Samsung have beaten Nokia just for general phones, and Apple have beaten Nokia when you specifically look at Smartphones. Given all the previous headlines you would be hard pressed to find anyone that thought Nokia were still dominant in the European smartphone market, but they were, right up until now.

The victory must be a little tainted for Apple though. Sure they have knocked Nokia off the top spot for smart phones, but if you use the OS view, they were passed by cross manufacturer Android a few months back.

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Dear Mr Beefy ex-soldier: Your BT needs you

Steve Evans
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Goodo...

I can't wait for the special forces team to tunnel into my house in a few weeks time and install my BT Infinity. under the stairs please guys, the master socket and power is already there, please connect the CAT5 into the box.

I do hope they go for the stealth entry, I don't fancy having to explain how my front door was blown off to my insurance otherwise.

In hindsight maybe it would be better to hope for ex Royal Engineers.

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Nokia touted Meego to rivals, but nobody wanted to know

Steve Evans
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@Yes. This.

I bought the N97 (stop laughing at the back), and I must confess to looking at the N900 a few months later when it came out with lust, but I was trapped in the N97 contract, so the N900 wasn't an option on contract, but I thought of buying myself one.

Luckily (in hindsight) the pitiful support provided by Nokia for the N97 convinced me that there was no way Nokia deserved any more of my money, so I stuck out with the N97 for over a year before reaching the end of my tether and buying a Desire Z (I'm still in the N97 contract).

I can't compare it to the N900, but I can compare it to the N97. They keyboard is okay, but I preferred the N97's, so I expect the N900's keyboard was also superior. The camera is also not up to the 5mp camera in the N97. It's okay, but nothing special. Then again the N95/N97's Carl Zeiss camera was rather exceptional, so not quite measuring up to that isn't too much of a surprise, and the Desire doesn't have a lens cover that scratches the very thing it is supposed to protect!

Software wise, well I don't need to tell you how much there is available for Android. Lots! Custom firmware, yup, plenty of that. Forums and grass root hackers, yup, plenty. It's as much yours as you want it to be.

Having said all that, I haven't even rooted mine. It works fine. Way better than the N97 which invariably required a wipe and reinstall every month!

Development environment, simple. Unlike Symbian the instructions and documentation are clear, the package links are all together on one page, they all download, and they all work first time on Windows, Linux and OSX. Plus completely free. I tried a few times with Symbian and Qt, but the Nokia website was so disjointed with instructions a version behind and multiple packages on multiple pages, I never got either to work! You know you should give up when even the simplest built in example apps throw up cryptic missing package messages.

Anything I miss? Well oddly enough (given how people slate resistive touch screen) I miss the accuracy of being able to use a fingernail to tap a link. Now I have to zoom in and use the side of my finger instead when there are many links close together (or use the little trackpad joystick thing). Only other thing I can think of is the headphone remote only has pause, forward and backwards. The Nokia one also had volume up and down.

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