* Posts by Steve Evans

2441 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Smartphone security gets better: Blanket bans no longer inevitable

Steve Evans
Meh

Unbiased...

"Built-in mobile device security is better than that of PCs, but still insufficient, according to (insert name of company which sells security software here)"

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Hackers pierce network with jerry-rigged mouse

Steve Evans

Okay...

Hands up who's just taken their mouse apart to check?

My excuse was it needed a clean ;-)

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Steve Evans

Very clever...

Very neat attack, although I must admit being told you couldn't use "social networks, telephones, and other social-engineering vectors" is kind of like testing a body armour and saying "Oh, but you can't shoot at the head, arms or legs", i.e. knowing there are already serious shortfalls in the protection in those areas.

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So, how many rhinos does a tram weigh?

Steve Evans

Que?

Sorry, you've lost me. Even several passes of the Monty Python rule book hasn't helped understand why the nationality of the sheep would be important.

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Steve Evans

Re: Solved

Are you sure about that? What standardised form of propulsion was used to accelerate said sheep? If it was self propelled, then have you taken into account the extra gaseous nature of very fresh lush grass?

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Steve Evans

You should try the Polish ones.

I narrowly missed a tram in Krakow a few years ago. Made the famous Englishman abroad mistake of looking the wrong way (what crazy fools decided to drive on the right?).

The Polish trams leave nothing to the imagination, none of this decorative cladding round the front and sides, there's a dirty big cow-catcher bumper, and the limb severing wheels all nicely on display.

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Steve Evans

Darwin

Anyone that doesn't look at a tram as a set of fast moving guillotine wheels with several tons of weight pushing down on them deserves to lose whatever bit gets chopped off.

As for the idiot in the head phones, it doesn't matter what you step in front of on the road, it's going to hurt. The cyclist will punch you in the head for being a pratt, and everything else will crush your bones and probably drive over your inanimate corpse just for good measure.

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Google Chrome extension busts Murdoch paywall

Steve Evans

Google Chrome extension busts Murdoch paywall

Is it too much to hope that they brick it back up again PDQ?

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ITU Gen Sec: Why not speaking English can be a virtue

Steve Evans

In that case...

"If you want to make money on the internet without paying America, your best bet is to refuse to speak English"

I assume the French are raking it in then?

I expect no down votes, doing so would be an admission you speak English, and you don't want to give the game away do you ;-)

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NATO site hacked

Steve Evans

Eh?

NATO e-books?

Best seller list

1: DIY IED defusal

2: How to make friends and influence people

2: How to survive a nuclear winter

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No Gingerbread snack for Desire owners, says HTC

Steve Evans

Memory or RAM?

Your tag line says "RAM" which != memory.

Hopefully they are talking about the storage space for the ROM, the Eeprom. If they really are talking about RAM, then there are going to be some very unhappy Desire Z owners (myself included). The Desire has 576meg of RAM, the Desire Z (which is promised gingerbread within the next month) only has 512meg.

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DRM-free music dream haunts Apple's app-store lock-in

Steve Evans

Phone number portability?

I can only assume you're in the USA, as elsewhere, certainly in Europe, the right to keep your number and take it anywhere you like has been the norm for several years.

The only lock in is when the phone is knobbled to prevent it connecting to another network (this is pure software level, the European market doesn't have any weird networks running systems that require completely different radio hardware like the USA). This carrier lock is annoying, but removable, either by paying a small (but still excessive fee considering how much you have spent during your 24 month contract) to your carrier at the end of your contract, or by visiting a little man in the local independent phone shop who will do it for you for £5. Or you just buy the phone in the first place.

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Apple closes book on iPhone-look jotter

Steve Evans

Pathetic

Honestly, what harm were they doing? Are Apple planning on making a range of notepads themselves now? No. I didn't think so.

If anything it was flattery.

Apple, just grow the f*ck up.

The company should come back with a Nokia themed one, Nokia need every bit of promotion they can get!

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Nokia's Windows phone outed on video

Steve Evans
FAIL

sniff

I wish I could comment, but seeing as that video refuses to play on both my pc running firefox and my android browser, I will just have to take everyone else's option that it's crap.

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Travelodge hacked, investigating

Steve Evans

Re: Maybe a coincidence

Ah, my favourite callers... Kept one of those busy for almost half an hour the other week. I did enjoy myself.

They even called back the next day, but I didn't have time to play that day. Now they don't call... I miss them and feel lonely and unloved.

Pity really, because I've now got a VM all set up and ready to run their dodgy remote access software (plus it has a few manually induced "faults" to keep them entertained).

Maybe I should give my details to Travelodge so I can get back in contact with them :-)

Incidentally, the last time they called was a couple of days after I had been dealing with an Talk-talk's Indian call centre - coincidence?

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Elite UK police agency website downed by Lulzsec

Steve Evans

DDOS...

A DDOS is only slightly higher up the "hacker" scale than the NOTW phone "hackers".

A DDOS is just flooding a server with more requests than it can handle. If I phone you on your mobile, your home phone and then knock on the door, all at the same time, then I have effectively done exactly the same to you as a person.

I only put the DDOS above the NOTW because to do it you generally need access to a large collection of machines and internet connections in order to generate the required volume of traffic from a wide range of IPs to make it work.

A real hack would be getting into things which are locked down and secured (so not mobile voicemails with a default password).

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Mink coat thief conceals booty down knickers

Steve Evans

Re; Re: Wow!

Ewwwwwww!

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Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

Steve Evans

Lulz twitter speaks:

"LulzSec

I'm not seeing "we hacked the UK census" on our twitter feed or website... why does the media believe we hacked the UK census? #confusion"

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Steve Evans

Blimee...

Well given how the small print added by HM Govt allowed world+dog to delve into information which used to be kept secret for 100 years, it would come as no surprise to find that at least one of those departments leaks like a sieve.

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Bloke pissing in reservoir prompts 8m gallon flush

Steve Evans

OH NOOOOS!

Wait until they spot birds crapping in it... And the fish, have they no shame?!!!

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Refusal to unveil scuppers French refusal-to-unveil trial

Steve Evans

Surely...

IIRC, their ill-founded belief that covering is required by their religion, only applies to hiding themselves from men, so just stick them in front of a female magistrate. Slap with fine.

Simples.

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Go Daddy sued over email alerts

Steve Evans

Re: 1999 remember

There is another part (which doesn't seem to apply to US patents). The patent should not be for the "bleedin'" obvious (that's my phasing).

Sending a renewal reminder email is just a modern version of sending a mail reminder by post. Something which anyone who would like to keep receiving your money has been doing since the dawn of time.

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HTC U-turns over Desire Android 2.3 update

Steve Evans

@Tony Smith

You mean Flash, as in Flash memory, as opposed to Read Only Memory and Random Access Memory...

See the problem?

Your original article translated "memory" to RAM, which is dodgy at best, especially when dealing with non technical press releases from someone at HTC who probably doesn't have English as a first language! Chinese whispers in its most literal form.

Best to avoid using the word "memory", as it is completely misused by world + dog.

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Steve Evans

Re: LOL

Actually Giles, they never said RAM, they said memory. El Reg were the ones who thought memory = RAM (n00bs!).

If RAM was the issue, the Desire Z, which is scheduled for Gingerbread + Sense this month, would be in trouble, it only has 512meg of RAM whilst the original Desire has 576meg.

I believe the issue (if it was technical, and not laziness) is/was with the flash storage, the Desire only has half a gig, the Desire Z has 1.5.

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Steve Evans

Hey guys!

It's okay, I found some more memory, it was down the back of the sofa all the time!

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Citigroup hack exploited easy-to-detect web flaw

Steve Evans

@doperative

I have no idea, I notice even the most innocent comment can attracts down votes on here.

I probably upset someone on here and they now have some kind of petty down voting vengeance going on! Oh well, if it keeps them off the streets. :-)

Thanks for coming to my defence though :-)

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Steve Evans

Not sure about the analogy...

“Think of it as a mansion with a high-tech security system – that the front door wasn't locked tight,”

Given that a valid login session was required, I think it might be better described as given a new resident the keys to their house, which happens to fit every other lock in the city if they care to go and try!

However you describe it, it's a pitifully bad way of securing any website, let alone a financial one!

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ARM exec: Open standards will make us all rich

Steve Evans

re: One Way to Start

"Admittedly, with the existing pool of Windows software, it's probably overoptimistic to think that the x86 architecture could just go away."

And the existing, even larger pool, of ARM devices isn't hardly going to go away either!

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Earth may be headed into a mini Ice Age within a decade

Steve Evans
Coat

Woohoo!

I'll wax up my snowboard, Scotland finally has a purpose!

Mines the breathable one with a snow skirt and flame retardant coating.

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Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Steve Evans

Re: Boy?

Indeed, and that's where they got the audio for the cut... But they pasted it into every other occurrence of the dog's name.

That's ITV on a Sunday afternoon for you.

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Steve Evans

Re: Why do a remake?

Actually, last time I saw the original one Sunday afternoon, I noticed Nigger had suddenly become "Boy"... A bit of cut and paste of the audio track by the PC police.

I can't remember what the code word had changed to, but it obviously ruined the whole relevance.

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Steve Evans

Re: I'd like to complain....

I'm called Steve, and I dislike people not called Steve being known by my given name.

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Steve Evans

I hereby suggest...

All Brits should look horrified and offended whenever they hear the name "Palin"... We'll see how well they like it back up 'em...

Oh hang on, we already do.

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Dolphin Browser HD

Steve Evans

re: new version

I just downloaded and installed from the QR, and the side swipe works.

Incidentally, Firefox mobile does this too.

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Steve Evans

@Code Monkey and Lloyd

You should give it a try then, I just loaded it up and tested it for you...

Text-jiggling operational.

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Guy spills on girl in weird Huawei tablet teaser

Steve Evans

Also...

It seems to have a magically jumping red lanyard/cable which instantly swaps sides.

I bet the ipad can't do that.

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IATA: this iPad could BRING DOWN A PLANE

Steve Evans

RF interference

I find it hard to believe RF interference could down a plane given the amount of RF that you find round airports. I remember owning a cheap walkman which would buzz every few seconds whenever I was within a few miles of Heathrow. It was only when I got near the airport that I noticed the buzz was synchronised with the rotating radar pointing in my direction... I think it's safe to assume that planes are quite well screened or the airports would be surrounded by wreckage!

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Steve Evans

Re: Good reason

I bow to your greater experience of aircraft accidents!

I still think they don't want you tangled up with the headphones though.

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Steve Evans
Joke

Re: Well....

I believe I would be right in saying that a very large majority of people who *do* slam into mountains also remember absolutely nothing about it.

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Steve Evans

Re: Skeptic

"Why don't airlines put the interactive entertainment system on straight away? Passengers would be far calmer watching a film during takeoff/landing."

I can answer that one for you... The most dangerous parts of a flight (apart from the in-flight meal) are the take off and landing. Therefore the cabin staff would much rather you were alert for their instructions about which side of the plane is not burning following the accident, than dangling there tangled up in your head phones still focused on Airport 77.

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Royston's ANPR surveillo-plan goes to ICO

Steve Evans

Yeah, right...

"We use ANPR to target criminals and unsafe drivers..."

No, ANPR cannot target unsafe drivers unless they are already known to you. They don't measure speed, they don't check if a driver has a licence, they can only tell if the car is taxed, MOTed and insured by someone.

You only have to drive down the A12 between the M11/A406 and A11 junctions to see what good the dumb cameras on boxes do. Everyone knows where the speed (sorry, safety) cameras are, and everyone drops their speed by 5 to 10mph as they approach each one. No big deal, everyone does that, but what the camera can't see is what happens in between, namely the idiots who use the lanes as a mobile chicane/slalom and accelerate down the inside of people as soon as they clear a camera like a rolling start motorsport event!

I keep meaning to blu-tac my mobile to the windscreen in video mode, it's only a short drive, and you're guaranteed at least one idiot (normally more though).

If I was a local traffic cop, with a quota and an unmarked car, I would spend my entire life on that stretch of road... Unfortunately we don't have many real traffic cops any more, we just have yellow cash machines, whoops, sorry, safety cameras.

So you can't target unsafe drivers with an ANPR camera, you can only target unsafe drivers you know, and you won't get to know them unless you have some real traffic cops about - or the idiots wrap themselves round something, or someone, else.

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Nokia takes the Facebook wall physical with NFC

Steve Evans

Curious...

The video seems to show a white N97 not only using NFC, but not crashing, throwing up weird errors or needing the battery pulled after attempting to perform a very basic function.

I wonder if they would be kind enough to share this magic firmware with those who were stupid/unfortunate enough to fall for the original marketing video and bought this damn lemon!

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A peek inside Apple's iCloud data center

Steve Evans

Indeed...

Incredibly non green, powered by coal fired electric, and not a single solar panel or wind turbine on site to even attempt a green wash.

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Hannspree Hannspad 10.1in Android tablet

Steve Evans

Hmmm...

It has bluetooth and wireless, so you could just tether it to your Android phone if you need a data connection.

The big questions I found hanging are:

- It has their own app market, does this mean it *doesn't* have the Android one?

- 2.2 is for phones, so when will it get 3.n?

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Germans completely humourless: Official

Steve Evans

@Ru

I remember reading somewhere that the German's see a lot of English humour and subtleties as equal to lying... Such as the famous incident with the 747 pilot who lost all four engines in an ash cloud and came over the tannoy to say "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."

I guess the German expect you to be honest in these situations and come over the tannoy shouting "Achtung, veee have no engines, veee are all going to die!!!!!"

I think I'd rather be on the BA plane, if I'm going to die I'd rather not do it stressed!

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Spot-the-fake site launched

Steve Evans

Official retailers...

I find official retailers continually frustrating.

Only the other day I was trying to find a particular item, and starting from the manufacturers site I visited the various official retailers. Many of them only carried a small part of the range (sods law means that would not be the part of the range I was interested in) and some of them didn't show anything by that manufacturer at all!

I eventually resorted to amazon and google shopping.

The links to retailers are only any good if the manufacturers actually look after them and check them, something which my experience shows is sadly lacking.

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FBI affiliates hacked by LulzSec

Steve Evans

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"this sort of baptism of fire only favours security firms offering protection consultants at vastly inflated hourly rates"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this guy one of the vastly inflated hourly rate consultants?

Note: If running a security consultancy, and getting hacked, keep head down, patch holes. Don't start shooting your mouth off and having a public bitch fight! Aka, when you hit rock bottom, don't continue digging!

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German cops unleash corpse-hunting vultures

Steve Evans

Hmmm...

Being the scavengers that they are (the vultures, not the cops), I fear the German police might end up finding far more road kill and discarded picnic sandwiches than corpses.

As for eating the evidence, that's easy, you just need a remote detonator button, and some spare vultures (I suspect they might have already thought of this idea given that they have 3).

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Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Steve Evans
Pint

@Such as

Lady hole (loads of those).

Badgers mount

However, given the subject matter, Curry Mallet would be my favourite.

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Steve Evans

Blimee...

I wonder what medication they had to use on Gordon to get that horribly restricted "outburst" from him at the end?

Never (well not since Pete Beale in Eastenders) has someone looked so uncomfortable with such a pitiful list of approved expletives.

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