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* Posts by Steve Evans

2354 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

IATA: this iPad could BRING DOWN A PLANE

Steve Evans
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Re: Good reason

I bow to your greater experience of aircraft accidents!

I still think they don't want you tangled up with the headphones though.

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Steve Evans
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Joke

Re: Well....

I believe I would be right in saying that a very large majority of people who *do* slam into mountains also remember absolutely nothing about it.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Skeptic

"Why don't airlines put the interactive entertainment system on straight away? Passengers would be far calmer watching a film during takeoff/landing."

I can answer that one for you... The most dangerous parts of a flight (apart from the in-flight meal) are the take off and landing. Therefore the cabin staff would much rather you were alert for their instructions about which side of the plane is not burning following the accident, than dangling there tangled up in your head phones still focused on Airport 77.

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Royston's ANPR surveillo-plan goes to ICO

Steve Evans
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Yeah, right...

"We use ANPR to target criminals and unsafe drivers..."

No, ANPR cannot target unsafe drivers unless they are already known to you. They don't measure speed, they don't check if a driver has a licence, they can only tell if the car is taxed, MOTed and insured by someone.

You only have to drive down the A12 between the M11/A406 and A11 junctions to see what good the dumb cameras on boxes do. Everyone knows where the speed (sorry, safety) cameras are, and everyone drops their speed by 5 to 10mph as they approach each one. No big deal, everyone does that, but what the camera can't see is what happens in between, namely the idiots who use the lanes as a mobile chicane/slalom and accelerate down the inside of people as soon as they clear a camera like a rolling start motorsport event!

I keep meaning to blu-tac my mobile to the windscreen in video mode, it's only a short drive, and you're guaranteed at least one idiot (normally more though).

If I was a local traffic cop, with a quota and an unmarked car, I would spend my entire life on that stretch of road... Unfortunately we don't have many real traffic cops any more, we just have yellow cash machines, whoops, sorry, safety cameras.

So you can't target unsafe drivers with an ANPR camera, you can only target unsafe drivers you know, and you won't get to know them unless you have some real traffic cops about - or the idiots wrap themselves round something, or someone, else.

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Nokia takes the Facebook wall physical with NFC

Steve Evans
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Curious...

The video seems to show a white N97 not only using NFC, but not crashing, throwing up weird errors or needing the battery pulled after attempting to perform a very basic function.

I wonder if they would be kind enough to share this magic firmware with those who were stupid/unfortunate enough to fall for the original marketing video and bought this damn lemon!

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A peek inside Apple's iCloud data center

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

Incredibly non green, powered by coal fired electric, and not a single solar panel or wind turbine on site to even attempt a green wash.

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Hannspree Hannspad 10.1in Android tablet

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

It has bluetooth and wireless, so you could just tether it to your Android phone if you need a data connection.

The big questions I found hanging are:

- It has their own app market, does this mean it *doesn't* have the Android one?

- 2.2 is for phones, so when will it get 3.n?

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Germans completely humourless: Official

Steve Evans
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@Ru

I remember reading somewhere that the German's see a lot of English humour and subtleties as equal to lying... Such as the famous incident with the 747 pilot who lost all four engines in an ash cloud and came over the tannoy to say "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."

I guess the German expect you to be honest in these situations and come over the tannoy shouting "Achtung, veee have no engines, veee are all going to die!!!!!"

I think I'd rather be on the BA plane, if I'm going to die I'd rather not do it stressed!

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Spot-the-fake site launched

Steve Evans
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Official retailers...

I find official retailers continually frustrating.

Only the other day I was trying to find a particular item, and starting from the manufacturers site I visited the various official retailers. Many of them only carried a small part of the range (sods law means that would not be the part of the range I was interested in) and some of them didn't show anything by that manufacturer at all!

I eventually resorted to amazon and google shopping.

The links to retailers are only any good if the manufacturers actually look after them and check them, something which my experience shows is sadly lacking.

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FBI affiliates hacked by LulzSec

Steve Evans
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"this sort of baptism of fire only favours security firms offering protection consultants at vastly inflated hourly rates"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this guy one of the vastly inflated hourly rate consultants?

Note: If running a security consultancy, and getting hacked, keep head down, patch holes. Don't start shooting your mouth off and having a public bitch fight! Aka, when you hit rock bottom, don't continue digging!

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German cops unleash corpse-hunting vultures

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

Being the scavengers that they are (the vultures, not the cops), I fear the German police might end up finding far more road kill and discarded picnic sandwiches than corpses.

As for eating the evidence, that's easy, you just need a remote detonator button, and some spare vultures (I suspect they might have already thought of this idea given that they have 3).

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Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Steve Evans
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Pint

@Such as

Lady hole (loads of those).

Badgers mount

However, given the subject matter, Curry Mallet would be my favourite.

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Steve Evans
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Blimee...

I wonder what medication they had to use on Gordon to get that horribly restricted "outburst" from him at the end?

Never (well not since Pete Beale in Eastenders) has someone looked so uncomfortable with such a pitiful list of approved expletives.

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HTC Sensation dual core Android smartphone

Steve Evans
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Battery battery battery!

Why all this urge for more power, are all smart phones sold to Jeremy Clarkson?

My Desire Z only has a little 800Mhz CPU, and it's fine. It works great, but I really wish the battery life was better.

Unfortunately instead of trying to make a smart phone which could do a good two or three days of use (as was common with the old Nokia Symbian phones - RIP), everyone seems to be trying to out-bling each other and Apple with *cool* effects, and then having to beef up the CPU to make the new animations run smoothly! If you really want something to out do Apple, make a phone that can last 48 hours of real use! I wouldn't care if it was a bit thicker, or heavier. Not having to wonder where the next power socket is, and being able to just use my phone as a smart phone wherever I am, without having to do mental arithmetic about power consumption of the web browser/GPS vs how long it is before I get near a power source first, would be perfect!

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Microsoft becoming Apple with Windows 8 control freakery?

Steve Evans
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Holmes

I don't blame them...

MS pick up a lot of stick for crashes and BSOD on windows PC, 99 times out of 100 the problem is caused by crappy drivers. They tried to introduce driver signing, but that just resulted in the approved drivers being so out of date, nobody wanted to use them.

In the PC world the BSOD is damn annoying (although thankfully getting rarer), but MS are dominant in the desktop PC market, so they aren't too worried.

Now they are trying to break into a market where Apple are dominant. Like it or not, one thing Apple phones and pads do is work. They might be annoying, frustrating and controlled to an extent which would make an anal retentive blush, but one thing they don't do is go *BORK*. MS really can't afford to pick up a reputation for machines that go *BORK* all the time. The solution, only approve a restricted selection of hardware. That way they can keep on top of the drivers, and I guess hold a big "If you don't sort out this problem, you'll be off the next approved list" hammer over the manufacturers.

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Stealth-cam software snaps laptop looter

Steve Evans
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Re: @Steve Evans

That's grim.

The cops are really going to have to start taking this kind of information seriously or with the current crop of GPS enabled devices, people are going to start taking the law into their own hands.

What would be perfect though would be getting his online banking details, log in, transfer the value of the stolen goods (plus a little bit for your trouble) into your account and tag them with "payment for stolen laptop".

Bet he would never report that!

I'm rather lucky in that a close personal friend is a cop, and he's rather old school when it comes to dealing with crims, he loves nothing more than a good scuffle with a few broken bones. He calls it job satisfaction. So that would be my first phone call.

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Steve Evans
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@AC

Wiping the machine was probably your downfall. He either skipped it as faulty, or passed it onto someone more technical. Most probably the former.

Best thing you can do in this kind of situation is keep your head down and harvest everything you can from the guy. The cops far prefer the old "caught him red handed with the stolen goods" than anything complicated and technical.

I confess, I would probably Frape him a bit just for the giggle.

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Barnsley clamps down on foul-mouthed fu*king locals

Steve Evans
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Hmmm...

"The ban is apparently aimed at attracting more shoppers into the centre of Barnsley

I hope they have some good discounts on, I wouldn't fancy getting slapped with a fine for my usual reaction to the list price of some products!

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Personal jetpacks and solar-powered ships

Steve Evans
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re: Er...

You silly billy, he could have dismantled his mast, and used it to fashion some oars with the solar panels as the paddles.

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Steve Evans
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re: The wind isn't always there when you need it.

Ummm, neither is the sun ;-)

At least when there is no wind, you have some nice clam weather to sit about in

Glad you bobbed back intact.

Now go fix that engine!

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Steve Evans
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Solar power on a ship....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure there are already some very tried, test and successful non-fossil/nuclear ways to move a ship through water...

Oh what are they called...

Damn my memory...

Oh yes, sails!

So stop messing about on the water (a clipper ship would embarrass you if you happened to meet one) and focus on getting enough panels onto a practical car!

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Chicago lawyer deploys distractionary dumplings

Steve Evans
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Christina Hendricks....

Oh... No... sorry, I've gone again.

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Steve Evans
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Sorry....

Did someone say something, I got distracted by boobies.

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Android app sales skimpy, sluggish, slack, scanty...

Steve Evans
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@Gary F

Yes, Android 2.2 supports tethering.

I agree, that's an annoying omission by both Google and Apple. I've had a long line of Nokia devices which would tether straight out of the box, and I used them for that on several occasions when I had no other internet connection. I remember using an N70 in 2005. I think the 6600 I had before could do it too via irDA, but I don't remember using it.

I don't understand the more money than sense iPhone users either. I can see the 3GS being justifiable now that they're old stock and almost free with a pack of cornflakes, but the whole "must be at the cutting edge, here's my wallet" urge completely escapes me when it comes to mobile devices these days.

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Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

Steve Evans
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GOT IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61cxvXxqeEA

Skip to 4:40, unless you speak Italian and want to listen to a nunn talking.

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McKinnon's mum applauds Obama extradition stance

Steve Evans
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Indeed...

Everyone calls it the V for vendetta mask, but if you read the book, the mask worn is described as a Guy Fawkes mask.

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Steve Evans
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@LMFAO!

So in summary, no different to any of the others then?

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Steve Evans
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Yeah right...

“It's now in the hands of the British legal system. We have confidence in the British legal system coming to a just conclusion, and so we will await resolution and we will be respectful of that process.”

Shall I translate that for you?

"We (the Americans) have submitted all the correct legal paperwork to the British government for the extradition, we now await the British government to follow the laid down rules and guidelines in our very one sided agreement, and chuck Gary on a plane as soon as they are satisfied the forms are correct".

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Fourth Euro star truck christened Albert Einstein

Steve Evans
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Re: nasty gases

A lot of time is spent ensuring that things on board do not release nasty gases. Astronauts will unfortunately produce some smelly, but non-lethal varieties, but you've got a limited supply of oxygen, so you can't just go venting it into space just because someone has been on the sprouts!

Given that washing facilities are also rather basic, I think it's pretty certain that a space station does get pretty smelly.

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Yanks officially recognise the word 'boffin'

Steve Evans
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About time...

Boffin has only been about since the 40's! Well done Rik. Bardzo dobry.

And I thought a twee was what Jonathon Ross had growing in the garden.

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Steve Evans
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@Naughtyhorse

Unfortunately "Math" and "Maths" is one of those divisions in our common language, one of the few which if very obvious when spoken, and yes, it makes me cringe too!

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iOS 4 hardware encryption cracked

Steve Evans
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Errr...

Sorry, but are you saying hackers which are providing cracking methods to governments and snoop services are the white hats?

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Oz paper in todger-based trivia quiz outrage

Steve Evans
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Not an Aussie

I'm a Pome, and I've certainly heard "Peter" used this way.

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BT cheerfully admits snooping on customer LANs

Steve Evans
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Ha!

Having just got a Home Hub 3 last week, I can only envy the "victims" of this intrusion. The wall-wart of my HH3 threw so much RF down the ring mains that my previously reliable Zyxel powerline adapters refused to communicate!

Unplug the HH3 power adapter and suddenly they can handshake and work again.

Luckily 12v 1amp power adapters are pretty common in my house, so the BT supplied one was quickly consigned to the bin.

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Researchers find irreparable flaw in popular CAPTCHAs

Steve Evans
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Gotta love wolfram alpha...

Up until now I had no idea how much wood a woodchuck could chuck...

Anyway, back to the topic. It's amazing that there are actually still sites out on the net that don't implement any form of captcha. I remember once suggesting it in an email to gumtree, and the reply I received was so snotty that I never visited the site again. Hopefully the moron who replied to me has been sacked for incompetence by now, and they have implemented something, but I won't hold my breath.

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Apple to support reps: Don't confirm Mac infections

Steve Evans
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Re: AppleCare, not Genius Bar

I know, but it does make for a great mental image :-)

Thanks for the pro-tip, but I'd already worked out that a techie worth his salt is very unlikely to want to be slapped in a retail store doing 9-5:30 and faced with the public asking dumb questions - most of us have enough of that from immediate family members! ;-)

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Steve Evans
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Genius bar...

The genius bar is going to look a bit stupid if they're not allowed to confirm or deny... What are they supposed to do, shrug and mumble "Dunno"?

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Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

Steve Evans
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Oh the plus side...

They're aren't many fanatical follower of any teaching who have received such an obviously "Get a grip" slap round the chops, so maybe he might stop being quite such a loon.

Then again, he'll probably go completely postal now and go down in a hail of bullets whilst screaming "There is no god!!!! Muwahahahahaha" - He doesn't strike me as the kind of person who could just go quietly.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Family Radio website design

Really? Looked the same to me, complete with the end of the world date still displayed.

I couldn't access it at all over the weekend, so assumed he'd only paid for his hosting in advance until 22nd, which would have made sense!

With his level of conviction I would have expected a date dependant change, so it would now be showing message normally reserved for the front bumpers of trucks, namely "If you can read this, you're f*cked".

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Who's nicked Vaz's fondleslab?

Steve Evans
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Would this be?

Would this be the Same Keith Vaz who claimed £75,000 in expenses for a flat twelve miles commute from his home?

If so I hope we didn't pay for his Apple tea tray too!

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El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

Steve Evans
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FAIL

What? No comments?

Epic fail... Back to RSS feed.

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Apple App Store apps are often old, vulnerable versions

Steve Evans
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Re: Yeah but , no but!

I assume you are referring to the Android log in token... The problem which was already fixed in the latest OS versions (unfortunately delayed by manufacturers and carriers), and then fixed for all on the servers by google?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/18/google_android_security_fix/

Seems like a perfect example of why having software updates delayed by a middle man is a bad idea.

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Apple proposes even tinier SIMs for future iPhones, iPads

Steve Evans
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"Plans for them to eventually disappear entirely"

So leaving you completely screwed if you want to use your phone abroad and want to use a local sim to avoid the roaming.

And what if you happen to shatter the oh so easy to shatter gorilla glass? You can't take the sim out and use another phone, they have to send the phone and whole phone back to their mobile company and sit twiddling your thumbs.

Being able to port your number by having a simple sim which is standard and user swappable between handsets is essential, and something that already exists (for everyone bar iphone 4 owners) thanks you Apple!

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Popular gamers 'should play for free' – Valve boss

Steve Evans
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re: pay for voice

...a feature I switched off within the first 20 minutes after discovering I seem to be playing on a server full of high pitched teens with all the communication skills of a three year old... Aka a constant, one-way stream of incomprehensible babble.

The total inability to adjust a microphone level correctly (even though a pretty level indicator is provided) can lead to only one conclusion, they are all deaf from the terrible music they listen to these days... So in conclusion Simon Cowell has destroyed multiplayer online game communication.

I think you'll find my theory is solid.

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Russian rumor: Microsoft to buy Nokia for $30bn

Steve Evans
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There's a shock...

Well actually, it is a bit of a shock. I would have expected M$ to do it's normal trick of nigh on destroying a company completely before picking it up for $5, so they really must be in a hurry to be thinking of buying the company for some big cash before they have finished completely wrecking it.

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Nokia finally gives Ovi brand a mercy bullet

Steve Evans
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Sounds like docking manoeuvre over several years

Large, well known and trusted mobile company creates an irrelevant and largely unwanted new brand as a side arm.

Over the next few years the large and trusted mobile company shoots itself (and customers) in the foot (and other non-fatal areas) until the large and trusted mobile company has become irrelevant and unwanted. It is now perfectly aligned to the side arm is created, so a perfect docking manoeuvre is now possible.

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Reg ed rattles the Red-Headed League

Steve Evans
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Re: Steve Button

But where do you want to draw the line? I might not be ginger, but I've gone through my life being a tall lanky streak of piss four eyed computer geek.

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Student accused of posting bogus coupons to 4chan

Steve Evans
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@Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Yup, you're right, the EU did indeed mumble something about UK chocolate not containing enough cocoa. I don't know what happened to that, we probably just ignored them, we tend to do that. They're a strange lot over there in Euroland and they come up with some odd ideas being cut off from us for so long. Who would have thought that 24 miles of water could have such an effect on them :o)

Anyway, Euroland does indeed have some superb choccy, although having partaken in an office test where we had squares of choccy with increasing levels of cocoa, only females seem to be able to endure above 75%. All us guys were pulling faces by that point and reaching for the "weaker" stuff.

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Steve Evans
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re: Flavoured paraffin?

LOL! Nice one!

Having also tried the kisses (I was forced to by an American friend. She force feed them to a room full of us Brits and just couldn't understand the unanimous verdict). I'm starting to wonder about how it compares to another hideous form of "chocolate" that has been described to me by a Polish friend. Apparently it was something the Eastern block had to endure before the wall came down. My friend refers to it as communist chocolate which, she said, contained 0% cocoa, or maybe less!

No idea where I'd find some of that now. It would be funny if the USA and USSR were both eating similar brown vomit flavoured paraffin.

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Crucial M4 256GB Sata 3 SSD

Steve Evans
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Re: Wrong!

Plus I doubt there is any CPU upgrade you can perform that would result in a 300% performance increase which didn't involve buying a completely new motherboard and replacing all your RAM because it's last year's style and now completely wrong.

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