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* Posts by Steve Evans

2299 posts • joined 17 Apr 2007

Laptop computers are crap

Steve Evans
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Bloody 16:9 screens GRRRR!

I blame everything, well almost everything, on the perverse idea that laptops should have screens designed to play movies.

My trusty old laptop is a ThinkPad R52 with 1400x1050, yes, 4:3, and guess what, it's great. It might be old, slow, and the battery last approx 20 minutes, *but* it's not the size of an aircraft carrier flight deck so is easy to carry from one plug point to the next! I don't need battery life, I need portability. I would by a new replacement, but I don't want to have to purchase a wide load screen just to get a similar vertical resolution to what I've already got. So I'm contemplating a motherboard hack to install a sata SSD instead.

Even on a desktop machine I'm not sure about 16:9. I'm sitting typing this on a 27" 2560x1440, and I seem to have far more slack space on each side then I do top and bottom.

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Soup up your home network

Steve Evans
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Biggest problem I had with powerline ethernet was the BT supplied infinity modem.

It came with such cheap nasty PSU that simply plugging it in caused my Zyxel powerline ethernet to lose sync and stop working.

I outed their PSU and used a better one.

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Matt Groening reveals location of Simpsons' Springfield

Steve Evans
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Re: Actually you know you're really over the hill

Amusing, but you blew it a little there.

You're thinking of David Attenborough, the naturalist, not his older brother Richard, the actor and director.

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Forensic snoops: It doesn't take a Genius to break into an iPhone

Steve Evans
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In the UK we have another solution...

Not providing a password/access when demanded by the UK plod is a criminal offence in itself, so even if they can't get in they can prosecute you for that.

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iPhone fanbois enraged by Instagram's Android triumph

Steve Evans
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Re: iPhone users <> Apple fanbois

Real programmers (who by definition, don't eat quiche) should be down voting that.

Real programmers don't use any high level language.

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Steve Evans
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Re: iPhone users <> Apple fanbois

Actually "<>" is used in far more places than just Pascal.

And *real* programmers would have to use the hex code for jump not equal specific to their chosen architecture.

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Prehistoric monster snake crushed prey under 1.5 Brooklyn Bridges

Steve Evans
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What's that in UK creme eggs?

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Steve Evans
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Re: Have they done the Math?

Maybe they're accounting for the fact that anyone laying under the Brooklyn bridge will be much taller and wider (and somewhat thinner) within a fraction of a second?

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Steve Evans
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Re: Stupid comparison

Now check out the stiletto heel figures.

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Home Sec: Web snoop law will snare PAEDOS, TERRORISTS

Steve Evans
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Re: infringement

Has he read the U.S. constitution?

Probably not, then again from how some of your politicians and cops behave over there, neither have they!

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Apple to take shine off glossy iMacs, say moles

Steve Evans
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OMG!

How can they do this? It will make the screen look dull and boring in the shop, and let you actually see what you're doing when you're using the machine at home instead of looking at the reflection of your own shirt...

Apple choosing functionality over appearance... I guess Satan is good to go with his ice cream parlour plans now.

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Sugar content now to be measured in Cadbury Creme Eggs

Steve Evans
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@Jake, was (Re: @Steve Evins (was: For the record ... ))

Say something against Apple, that usually works for me. IIRC I collected over 20 down votes on one post with this tactic.

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Steve Evans
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Re: @Steve Evins (was: For the record ... )

I wish Ms Bee was still here too :'(

It wasn't really sexist, it was based on experimental data. No more sexist than saying men are taller than women, and women buy more shoes ;-)

We were all under 40, so maybe we need to larger sample. If someone would like to send us another big(ger) box....

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Steve Evans
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Re: For the record ...

80% Jeeez. Are you a girl?

We had some chocolate samples in the office with varying levels of chocolate, and only the girls could eat above 75%, all us guys were happy to stick with the <40% "crap".

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Steve Evans
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Re: Being more pedantic....

Is that a 12Fluid oz US or 12Fluid oz UK?

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Steve Evans
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Yee Gods, please say they don't make the chocolate too.

First Hershey chocolate I tasted was also the last, it was vile.

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Coders' 'lives sucked out' by black-and-white Visual Studio 11

Steve Evans
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Ring ring...

Apple's lawyers are on the phone, they want a word with MS about the theft of their original Mac's colour palette.

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Apple drops 'thermonuclear' patent bombshell

Steve Evans
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Re: APRIL FOOL

Too true, best we go check that patent number, I wouldn't put anything past the US patent issuing morons!

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UK government says no to turbo e-bike

Steve Evans
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Re: 28 what

VMax... Brrrrm Brrrrm!

You must have a neck like the QE2 mooring rope!

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Steve Evans
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Re: 28 what

I'm a keen biker and I've seen 160mph+

Tell your mate to ditch the 65 kitted moped and get a real one! ;-)

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Steve Evans
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@Mike Brown

Far from it, but having a registration they are traceable, and having insurance they can pay for the damage/injury they cause.

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Steve Evans
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Re: Bar room lawyers assemble!

Given some of the "skill" exhibited, cyclists should be forced to have most of those already, including some kind of registration displayed across their backs.

Don't down vote me, I know you are all perfect users of the road, I'm talking about the others!

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Republicans shoot down proposed ban on Facebook login boss-snoop

Steve Evans
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Re: I would have thought the simple answer is...

Or two seconds of tapping on the smartphone to create a new, empty profile.

Although I'm pretty sure my answer would be "Sure, you can look round my activities the day you hand me the keys to your house so I can do the same"

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Dr Who scores new companion from Emmerdale

Steve Evans
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Re: Who's better, Who's best

Now I like Pertwee, and I like Baker - but which one is better?

There's only one way to fine out...

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Nokia invents teeny throbbing tattoos to make your skin crawl

Steve Evans
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"The coil doesn't have to be hand-drawn, but it works better that way"

Chortle.

That is all.

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Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury

Steve Evans
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Re: did you notice

Hmmm... I think we need El Reg units.

Now I don't think 44 degrees is too much for a minstrel to melt, but I imagine a creme egg would be toast, and toast would be err, bread.

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Symbian smacked by Windows Phone

Steve Evans
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@Tim Walker...

I'm still got my N95... Unlocked and latest firmware, it's a great little backup phone. Nice big MicroSD in it and it's a perfect MP3 player and FM radio. I take it with me onto the mountain me when I go snowboarding and it's survived everything I've thrown at it - unlike several of my ribs and my arm!

Plus the battery lasts for days, not hours :-)

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Steve Evans
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Speaks volumes that it took over a year to do that, and involved Nokia being assimilated by the Elop and murdering their own child.

Hey, Nokia, just think what you could have done if you'd cut down on the meetings and just got on with progressing the Symbian OS and supporting your customer base!

For the record I'm one of the Symbian losses and Android gains... but I jumped ship a few months before the Elop arrived, I had the N97 experience, which wasn't too bad, but the Nokia after sales "care" (read "couldn't give a shit attitude") made me go elsewhere for my phone after 10+ years of Nokias. So it doesn't matter what OS they put on the phone, I will remember being treated like shit for quite a while.

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FAA mulls scrapping in-flight iPad, Kindle ban

Steve Evans
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Re: Won't you think about the children???

Ahhh, a down vote...

So which one... French or Italian?

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Steve Evans
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Won't you think about the children???

How can they think such things? Have they not seen the number of planes which fall from the sky on a daily basis because people leave their devices turned on?

I saw parts of a 747 scattered about a street only last night. Mr Cruise from down the road was looking at it.

Oh, hang on, that was War of the Worlds wasn't it.

So in summary, I'll be more worried about having a French crew or an Italian Captain. Then again, not many life boats to accidentally fall into on a plane.

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Pair of double-As give you cheap, quick charge

Steve Evans
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Re: Better still...

Ah yes, you've not lived until you have had the Spanish taxi experience.

It's still etch in my mind, strange considering my eyes were closed most of the time!

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Steve Evans
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9v into 5v reg? Not exactly efficient... Burning off 4 volts to start with, and a PP3 is both pricey and low capacity to start with.

Better to get 4xAAs and then use the 5v reg, you'll probably get a full charge from that.

Better still...

Work out where you are staying before you leave home and preload your google map tiles onto your phone before you start roaming ya muppet!

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Apple Store staff outnumber queues as new iPad goes on sale

Steve Evans
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"One bloke, who had waited for five hours from 3am for the doors to open, decided to hang around the shop for a while afterwards rather than race home with his new slab. He hadn't tried his iPad yet, adding: "No, no, first I'll go home, relax and then I'll take it out." "

What? You sat about in the cold since 3am, for what? To socialise with the staff? Can't you get any real friends of your own (don't answer that)? There are going to be people who arrived at 9am who are going to have used the thing before you!

The dictionary definition of sad has just got a new example.

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Death Star SUCKS PLASMA FROM SUN in NASA riddle vid

Steve Evans
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Coat

Re: Nope

Groan...

Here, please take your coat.

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Underwater Greek volcano brewing Lara Croft style earthquake

Steve Evans
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"If the caldera erupts underwater, it could cause local tsunamis and affect boat traffic, including cruise ships"

Shhhhh! Keep your voice down... All those Italian captains jumping over the side could cause a Tsunami all on their own!

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Microsoft warns of RDP attack within next 30 days

Steve Evans
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Re: Public IPs only?

"That's what I was thinking. If the firewall blocks RDP traffic and one needs a VPN to get access - surely the risk is low? If the network is so compromised as to allow this attack, then the compnay in question has much, much bigger problems."

So because the door is locked you feel safe to leave the family jewels on the kitchen table?

Don't forget that a fair amount of unauthorised access is performed from inside a company network.

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Finders of lost mobes can't resist staring at privates

Steve Evans
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Pint

Re: Password protect it and you don't get it back.

I actually had a fun evening of hunt the owner a few months ago. I found the phone on a pub seat where two girls had been sitting. Me and my friends enjoyed our beers expecting the girls to return any minute. They didn't, so I rang the last number the owner had called, hoping it was the person they were with that evening. It wasn't, it was a work mate. I explained what had happened and he tried to guess who the friend was from my description, and call them. No luck.

What followed was akin to a keystone cops chase with him suggesting every drinking establishment in the area where they could have gone, and us lot having a drink in pretty much all of them.

Eventually we gave up on the grounds of imminent liver failure, but agreed we had got to visit some very interesting and new establishments!

The next day I received a call from the owner, and arranged to return the phone later in the week when I was back in the area, in the mean time I offered to download all the contact details and send them over so she wouldn't be without numbers. She was a little surprised this was even possible, but gratefully accepted.

The phone was eventually returned, and I earned some more beer for my troubles :-)

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New iPads to hit Apple stores on Friday

Steve Evans
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..and I'm sure the rumour mill will start churning on that one within the week.

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Windows 8: Thrown into a multi-tasking mosh pit

Steve Evans
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Yuck...

I've had a few minutes of play with 8 & Metro, and it's horrible.

The thought that I have been left with is that M$ seem to be committed to some crazy idea of a "unified user experience" across all devices, something which even Apple realise is a stupid thing to do.

Maybe M$ will use this as some anti iStuff advertising ammo, "You use our desktop like you use our tablet, or our mobile"...

The problem is a scratch and sniff touch interface is designed for big fat fingers prodding on a small screen. A desktop machine with a huge monitor and several hundred DPI optical mouse doesn't need 200x200 pixel squares to click, you can easily hit a 16x16, and use the rest of the screen real-estate for more information and other stuff.

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Apple resellers left to pick bones of dwindling iPad stocks

Steve Evans
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Re: One born every minute

Or.

"Apple continue to be completely incompetent when it comes to introducing a new model."

Or (more accurately)

"Gutter press continue to be completely incompetent as Apple once again plays them like a virtuoso."

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Solar storm arrives, nobody notices

Steve Evans
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SHHHHHHH!

We've successfully blamed three issue on solar flare activity today, don't ruin it!

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STUNNING NEW APPLE DEVICES that will follow the iPad 3 HD!

Steve Evans
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Re: no touch

Indeed. The mystical device is not a keyboard.

It is a board of keys.

Sorry, board of ikeys.

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FSF fandroids fight to 'free' Android from Google's forepaws

Steve Evans
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Re: Replicant

If I've read the bits of news correctly, this is what the Cyanogenmod team are trying to do with V9.

Why FSF feels the need to start yet another branch is beyond me, why can't they just help the CM team?

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Eric Schmidt flicks INTERSTELLAR TOWEL at top tech fair

Steve Evans
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Re: Screw the technology

I'm sorry Sir, we're out of stock at the moment.

I can however offer you a smack round the head with this slice of lemon...

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Steve Evans
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Still waiting...

I'm still waiting for a fish I can stick in my ear.

Until this happens I will remain unable to communicate with my Geordie friend after he has drunk 4 beers.

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Ford: kick your car to open the boot

Steve Evans
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Well if the rumours were correct, they forgot that with the original airbag systems... The idea was that an impact would trigger the airbag and unlock the doors.

Unfortunately it also worked when the car was parked and locked. So all a thief had to do was whack the front bumper with a 4x2 to trigger the airbag system and the doors would open.

As I said, it's just a rumour I heard, so it's probably bull. Although I seen enough evidence of stupidity from manufacturers in my time to be left 50/50 on this one!

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Steve Evans
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So...

So I've got my arms full of heavy shopping, and you want me to stand on one leg and swing my free foot about, not get smacked in the chin by the opening boot lid, all whilst retaining a grip on the shopping?

What is this, some kind of US Highway Patrol drink drive test?

How about something useful like speech recognition? I'd love to be able to open the boot with a stream of verbal obscenities.

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UK.gov holds summit to stop satnav-driven smash-ups

Steve Evans
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...

"However, the main reasons the satnavs cause problems is because it can take months for map updates from local councils to make their way onto the gadgets."

And the rest... What about those who bought the satnav, and then don't sign up (with ££) for a subscription which provides updates?

Anyone that follows a satnav into a river, over a cliff, or down a footpath should be hit with an "Undue care and attention" conviction. A few of those and it's bye bye licence, so they'll either learn to look where they a bl**dy well going, or be removed from our roads. The latter would seem to be for the common good.

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BT, TalkTalk lose final appeal against Digital Economy Act

Steve Evans
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Big Brother

I for one do not welcome our big brother overlords.

So, have us peasants got any form of appeal against a warning, or are UK pensioners doomed to receive three warnings for downloading west coast gangstar rap before being banished from the intarweb?

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