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* Posts by andreas koch

815 posts • joined 14 Jun 2008

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Apple gearing up for Watch BONANZA

andreas koch
Unhappy

@ turnip handler - Re: Not an unreasonable number

Yep, seriously. I nearly used the joke icon, but then it'd be too obvious and spoil it.

Now you spoilt it, sniff.

Upvote for the sheer irony.

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andreas koch
Coat

Not an unreasonable number

I even think that there could be a market for more. The article states 40 MiP sold last quarter, each wanting a companion watch. There will be more sold in the almost quarter to come until Watch release and having a new iPhone without a new iWatch is like putting Romanian remould tyres on your Porsche Panamera or buying a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes and wearing ASDA Smart Price tights with them.

You just have to have it.

And here's the good thing: While it shows that you are a modern, sophisticated, successful, beautiful and knowledgeable person, it can hide the fact that you only have iPhone 5C in your pocket, because your contract didn't allow upgrading on iDay. A Ferrari keyring on your Fiat key.

So, the 40M plus the new Apple customers on Black Friday and after christmas plus the up-pretenders sounds very reasonable to have a 50M initial stock. It might just be out of general goodness to God-Bless-America to have, for a change, enough stock for the demand to avoid city centre riots and these unsightly shanty towns trailing away from the Apple stores for weeks.

Apple Watch is, again, a very cleverly marketed and priced trinket. Nobody needs it and everybody can afford it; let me clarify: there is no urgent use for this item, so your dislike slides off it, you can't reason for or against it on an objective basis, it becomes a matter of taste and fashion or mock-taste and mock-fashion. Any argument about it will be emotional, and emotional arguments against something usually only harden the resolves of the parties involved.

The price point is cleverly honed to peak impact: the most expensive that everyone can immediately deal with. 350 VMD is your utilities bills(water, gas, leccy, comms) bounced for a month, plus cutting the food down to staples. And, hey presto, you're a $positive_property person.

Just my personal opinion, don't take it serious . . .

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First space Hasselblad goes under the hammer

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

The crucial question is:

does it post selfies automatically to facebook and twitter?

. . . useless otherwise, innit?

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WP8 app

andreas koch
Windows

@ Drewc

Whooo, easy! I didn't mean that you broke it or anything, I suggested that you probably programmed the WP version inhouse. My reason for this:

It never loaded the comments. So there was always a fault with it. An external company would be asked to deliver a servicable piece of code.

I ask $plumber to fit a kitchen sink. He does, but the hot water tap does not work. I complain and he comes and fixes it. At no extra cost.

Ocasta made an app. An important part of this app never worked. They should fix it.

It should cost you (the Reg) no more than the time to write an email. Regardless of amount of readers or updating or whatever.

Nothing to charge, nothing to pay.

Ok, agreed, no ad revenue lost if all of 12 7 5 WP users don't use the app or the site . . .

But for a working app, I think people rather would pay. Useless freebies can be had by the million.

Time for me to go and get an Android phone, maybe. Oh wait, that app doesn't work either. Time for a new contractor, maybe?

Sorry, starting to get snarky here, I'll shut up now.

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andreas koch
Meh

@ Russell Hancock - Re: Offline reading?

Seems to be like that on every WP.

It looks as if the Reg did this themselves, because if it would have been done by someone else, I wouldn't give a monkey's whether it has a 500-million-user or a 74-user base,

I'd ask them to fix their mistakes.

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andreas koch

@ Drewc - Re: Offline reading?

I hear what you're saying.

Thanks for the line.

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andreas koch
Unhappy

WP8 app

Hi Reg,

the Register WP8 app consistendly fails to load comments in-app with the error that it can't access the comments at the moment. Is there a hard link that has changed and was not updated?

It's not super critical, as there's a link to 'view in browser', and there's also the mobile site...

But there's nothing but complaints in the WP app store about the comments being broken.

Might be an idea to let someone at Ocasta or whoever did the WP app have a look at it.

Greetz

Andy

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Nokia France leak: Windows Phone DUMPED in Microsoft Lumia revamp

andreas koch
Unhappy

@ AC - Re: Rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic

. . .

>

when he upgrades to another Android he just needs to sign in and everything is there for him again. No fuss no hassle

<

no privacy no security.

Exactly what puts me off.

If I store my stuff on my device I'm responsible for it. Outsourcing resposibility for private data (to whatever OS) doesn't sound like an advantage to me.

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LOHAN crash lands on CNN

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

@ Lester Haines

Did Ms Trentmann actually listen to what has been going on, or was she just there for booze and bites?

I had a read through the writeup and it's factually more wrong than right. Or is this intentional, so that it makes a better read for "Welt" subscribers?

Never mind . . .

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Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

andreas koch
Thumb Up

@dan1980: - Re: If you don't want any naked pix

There's no need to delete them from the phone if I used a standard digital camera . . . Cough. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to say.

I go by the rule that if I don't want it to be known or seen, I'll not tell or show it. Specially if it can be connected to me.

. . . and in my book putting it into any cloud as a usable file is showing. If I really, really need to back up to a cloud service, then the file is locally encrypted first and then uploaded. Encryption by the service is not acceptable as far as privacy is concerned.

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andreas koch
Paris Hilton

If you don't want any naked pix

of yourself (celebrity or not) on the internet, just don't take any.

There, fixed.

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End of buttons? Apple looks to patent animating iPhone sidewalls

andreas koch

Re: Not at all like

Awww, diddums.

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andreas koch

@ Credas - Re: Trivia

. . . on a mobile device. . .

yawn.

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

andreas koch
Happy

Should be obvious:

Mordens Manus Pascens (Informatica)

Seeing that I'm not a Latinian, efforts to clean up the grammar are greatly appreciated.

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The final score: Gramophones 1 – Glassholes 0

andreas koch
Go

@ !Spartacus - Re: @ AC ~1220h - Photos photos

Don't worry, I'm rarely in Wales.

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andreas koch
Thumb Up

@ Isendel Steel - Re: Do we need

Yes! And litigate, of course!

I'm off to the patent office, you better run if you want to beat me to it . . .

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andreas koch
Trollface

@ AC ~1220h - Re: Photos photos

.. because you might confuse wearers by hacking their glasses and feeding each one the viewpoint of some other wearer?

or shouting: "OK glass, horse porn, loop, mike off!"

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andreas koch
Holmes

@ Drat - Re: Photos photos

> . . .

In fact I wonder why there is not a version without the front facing camera

. . . <

The same reason why there's no TV without a remote, no Laptop without a keyboard and no tablet without a touchscreen.

It's its main input device. To actually be useful, and not just a very small, very bad GoPro, you have to be able to point and ask at a party: "OK, Glass, that watch there, how much does it cost and where can I buy it?" or, with the kids in the zoo: "What are these animals called?" or "Where am I and how do I get home?"

Microphone only would be pretty lame, I think.

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Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

andreas koch
Thumb Up

Re: @ Simon Harris - This new stuff looks boring

Sony's ES (TAN77, great speaker control) series amps used to be rather good, even for audiophile ears.

And yes, Bose is the Marmite of HiFi.

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andreas koch
Unhappy

@ unwarranted triumphalism - Re: This new stuff looks boring

While you have a point, I loved the VU meter on the front of my Pioneer M90; sounded rather nice with a pair of Pilot ST 505's (had to sell it due to move - sniff).

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andreas koch
Boffin

@ Simon Harris - Re: This new stuff looks boring

The formula you're looking for is QS = (PxW)/(NB x LOC), where QS is Quality of Sound, P is price paid, W is weight, NB is number of control elements on the front panel and LOC is Lines of Code of any Software used to control the unit.

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Today in IT news: iPad Fleshlight a reality

andreas koch
Holmes

Rewiring needed

If you would cleverly combine it with this you could at least charge your tablet while you're wanking working.

Other than that, I stand by my comment to the Teddy Love: Get me off this planet . . .

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Maplin Electronics sold for £85m to Rutland Partners

andreas koch
Meh

@ Mage - Re: Too much junk

You do know that the only reason they are still there is because they sell the overpriced toy rubbish?

You can't live off selling 3x1N4001, 2xBC237, few resistors and 2 LEDs on the high street.

Sad, but true: the Maplin days are over. As an 'electronics' store anyway, the name might carry on as a gadget place...

Just my personal opinion.

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Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

andreas koch
Coat

@ skeptical i - Re: The thumb of the lass on the right

. . . like this?

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andreas koch
Paris Hilton

@ JDX -

Ear-otic?

Un-bear-able . . .

Sorry.

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andreas koch
Facepalm

One ticket to Mars, please.

No, I don't need a return, one-way only, thank you.

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Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi! 3D HOLO-PHONE hinted in Amazon vid

andreas koch
Facepalm

@ Rob Taylor - Re: I think it's a lenticular display

Dat link . . .

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Microsoft lobs Files app at WinPhone users with lots of ... uh ... files

andreas koch
Thumb Up

@ Crazy Operations Guy - Re: Apple

I had to log on just to upvote you.

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Graphics pros left hanging as Adobe Creative Cloud outage nears 24 hours

andreas koch

@ Jan Hargreaves - Re: A storm in a tea cup

> . . .

inc 50GB of cloud storage

. . . <

Which is, of course, fully accessible offline? But who'd leave his work exclusively on other people's drives?

Oh, wait . . .

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andreas koch

@ Destroy All Monsters - Re SaaS

. . . and fuck the cause, too.

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andreas koch

SaaS

Fuck that.

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Scientists warn of FOUR-FOOT sea level rise from GLACIER melt

andreas koch
Holmes

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!1!!11!

Yup.

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Now is 'the wrong time to send hundreds of millions of dollars to Kremlin' - SpaceX boss

andreas koch

Re: Those bloody monks

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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Apple patent pokes at holographic iPhone screen

andreas koch
Thumb Up

Oh wow.

Just think of how this is going to get blown out of proportion as soon as it's been through a few fanboi tech-savvy creative artists-forums: It'll be a feature of the iPhone 6W (the iWatch-wristphone), it'll project imax (why else would they call the cinema like that?) films in 4k x 2k including 8.2 channel THX in a virtual size of 45' diameter and 12' high around you, and it will make Siri interact with you not only visually but also orally. It also obviously has solved the battery time problem of the iWatch, since it clearly states 46 hours of running time on the drawing (in the top. left of the Z [stands for "Zeit", time in German], there's the number 46. What else could it mean? There. Proof.). There'll be videos about it. Watch to the end for the features!

Beautiful.

ha. sniggersnigger. gnrrrz . . . Bruhahahaha!

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

andreas koch
Paris Hilton

Am I really the first one

thinking that Dallas Archer was not her real name?

More likely it was Eskimo Nell.

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Dell charges £5 to switch on power-saving for new PCs (it takes 5 clicks)

andreas koch
Trollface

@ Billa Bong - Re: So...

I like your post, but I'm too stingy.

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andreas koch
Meh

P. T. Barnum (allegedly) quote/ 419er motto

If you can get away with it . . .

You can't protect everyone from their own silliness. It might even be educational to be ripped off a few times in your life, otherwise you will depend too much on other people's sense, common or not.

No, I don't endorse this "we'll click for you for a fiver", but you don't have to select it after all.

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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

andreas koch
Headmaster

@ Cliff - Re: Welsh any help?

But we're looking for the possessive " 's ", not the plural " s " aren't we?

I don't actually speak Welsh, so take that with a pinch of salt.

And before someone tells me, I just saw that there's a comma missing between "good thing that way" and "the translation would be". To late for editing. My bad.

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andreas koch
Thumb Up

Deutsch.

Apart from the fact that people in the old Vaterland wouldn't refer to a specially good thing that way the translation would be: "Die Nüsse des Hundes". Alternatively you could call the male canine gonads "Eier" (eggs), which is more common.

To preserve the colloquial humour I would propose: "Die Klöten des Köters*". I don't think anyone ever said that, but it sounds cool. At least for northerners with a soft spot for alliterations; I don't think "Klöten" is used in the south...

* The "ö" is rather like the "i" and half the "r" in "first". A bit like the Swedish chef from the muppets.

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Battery-production problems delay anorexic 5.5-inch 'iPhone Air'

andreas koch
Unhappy

@DougS - Re: I know it won't be a problem

I'm afraid I have to contradict you there. It might be a problem, because the magical powers of St. Steve are not around any more. When he was on earth, things happened according to his commands (even if the commands changed at some point...). TC doesn't seem to have this ability.

Jobs would not have this problem, The launch would always have been later, the phone always been thicker, or the battery always been of a lesser capacity, because it would have been better due to the fact that it was Apple.

The magic is gone.

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Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES

andreas koch
Meh

Apple files a stupid patent application;

There's a queue on the M25.

Unusual enough for news?

Meh.

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Report: Apple seeking to raise iPhone 6 price by a HUNDRED BUCKS

andreas koch

well, that was to be expected.

See my comments here:

http://theregister.co.uk/2013/10/16/apple_cuts_iphone_5c_order/

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AMD unveils Godzilla's graphics card – 'the world's fastest, period'

andreas koch
Pint

@ stu4 - getting interested

So you're saying that PS and LR really heavily profit from a supported GPU? I had given up on that idea...

Not meant sarky, I'm genuinely interested in your findings there.

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andreas koch
Unhappy

@ stu4 - Re: @ Acme Fixer - not gaming...

CC. CS?

How much happens on the GPU? Tried it?

Sigh. Nevermind.

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andreas koch
Unhappy

@ Acme Fixer - Re: not gaming...

Sorry, but there is no hardware solution for Photoshop or Lightroom. Specially not for CC.

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Greg Christie to leave Apple as Jonathan Ive seizes design reins

andreas koch
Facepalm

@ Scott L. Burson - Re: "seizes design reigns"???

It never reins, it poors.

SCNR

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Report mash-up: Apple to sell 65 million $269 iWatches in first year

andreas koch
Devil

@ Peter Spicer - Re: You know they have reached market saturation

. . . but if Apple doesn't market a smartwatch now, how are they then going to justify afterwards blocking Samsung's sales for infringing on their idea before?

This gets a bit like reading "The cat who walks through walls".

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Canonical to halt its Ubuntu One file service

andreas koch
Thumb Up

@ Michael Habel - Re: Canonical to halt its Ubuntu One file service

El Reg did report a week ago:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/04/02/ubuntunone_canonical_axes_storage_service/

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Furious MyCloud users descend on WD website as borkage continues

andreas koch
Black Helicopters

One of the NSA-trainees

played with recursive permissions . . .

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

andreas koch

Overloading USB

http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/apple-charger-kit-21a-a90kq

These are sold...

Already out of spec.

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