* Posts by Francis Offord

104 posts • joined 13 Jun 2008

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Eurofighter Typhoon: It's EVEN WORSE than we thought

Francis Offord

Fly Navy

I spent 22 years in the RAF and thought that we had to endure some terrible political decisions but this is far worse than anything we had to suffer. At least the decisions then were taken by politicos who had a slight idea of necessities but were usually held in check by servicemen, it appears that this is no longer the case as decisions are being taken by servicemen who have no idea as to what they are doing. We had, in 1940, a government who had knowledge first hand of service requirements and experience to make correct decisions, now we do not as nobody I can recognize has experience of the problems of the services and certainly no training in economics. Is it so surprising when we have an educational system which in in denial as to it's actual purpose. Let us ensure that, for the security of the nation (or should that read nations?) within this island we manage to acquire some professional assistance in order to manage our defences. Had this been the state of affairs in 1940 we should all have been speaking German and ruled over by "amphibian devourers", not a pretty thought.

Still, we get the government we deserve and appoint but we do not ever get value for money. It appears that this is a universal problem and it is easy to see how dictators are appointed when nobody stands up to be counted or punished for wrongdoing.

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Traffic-light plague sweeps UK: Safety culture strangles Blighty

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Male Bovine Ordure

It seems to me that one aspect has been ignored in this matter, the Indisputable fact that councils will interfere with traffic "BECAUSE THEY CAN". I have seen, as a taxi driver, the chaos caused by a councillor buying/finding a packet of "traffic light seeds" and distributing them randomly throughout their area. Here in Newcastle we had a plague of new unwanted and unnecessary lights when it was decided that control had to be established for some reason. No planning had been done and when objections were made on a logical basis they were poo pooed as being unwarranted intrusion into council business.

When the objections were proved to be valid it was decided that he council had not been wrong but that "they had misunderstood" what they decided. The inevitable result of forging ahead without consulting the experts, those who use the roads. Never mind that consultation had not taken place the council could not admit to having made a mistake as, like the pope, they are infallible in matters of this nature.

There is a case to be made for proper consultation with local and national experts and consideration given to the proven results from other boroughs before charging recklessly ahead with personally recommended schemes which have not been thought through. Not only do they waste public money which, oddly enough, comes from the public through taxation and should be allowed to be taken into account through audited accounts and made public each year at the time of reckoning, the elections. Perhaps it could be made a part of the deal that any scheme should be personally funded by those making the recommendation until such time as it is proven to be useful and then funded by the responsible authority rather than wasting the monies

used and having no recourse to recompense by those responsible. It would ensure that responsibility for madcap schemes would be made by those who proposed them and save a huge amount of public money FOR the public.

I am well aware that this will never fly as it makes comparison the national government inevitable and, as we all know, thought processes are not best used by those elected into power and that, mostly, they are concerned with personal advancement rather than service.

For those who do not comprehend the heading, work it out for yourself by analysis.

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Fifa, Uefa lose free-to-view footie challenge

Francis Offord
Welcome

Acquisitiveness

Right on. It's about time the thieving bastards got their come-uppance and were made to realise that we, not they, pay their wages and WE say, stop digging into our pockets in order to exert your maximum pressure for maximum income which you have NOT earned. You've got me all of a doo-dah. After all, it's one thing being a nation of shopkeepers but totally different to be one of the forty (?) thieves.

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Sarko to use G8 presidency to promote net regulation

Francis Offord
Grenade

Bloody Anura amphibians

I wonder how the frogs became so matey with "Barak room lawyer" and his entourage all of a sudden. That whirring sound must be Charles de Gaulle rotating at speed in his tomb. If they continue in the same vein they will not be "best friends" for long as they will discover that Yanks are are even more acquisitive they they are and have the muscle and will to use it and burning a few sheep on the main roads will have no effect on them.

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Labour moots using speed cameras to reward law-abiding drivers

Francis Offord
Megaphone

Full agreement

I recasll, not long after the war, the top income tax rate was put at 39 40ths, nineteen shillings and sixpence in the pound. That was Labour for you, taxation was all important then and remains so today. Perhasps some of those in power at that time, and some are still alive, could please explain why a Top Tax rate of 50% is now so unacceotable to them. If the politicians were made subject to the same laws as the general population and with the same sanctions falling on those who step outside the law we would, perhaps, see some respect for the political classes instead of the general loathing og politicos. I can think of a phrase to describe therm but I would not use it on this page but a single word, despicable, springs to mind when looking at the general behaviour of politicos, or perhaps, disgusting. They would disgrace fully paid up members of the greedy classes whjom they effect to despise. The trouble with Labour is that it doesn't .

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US Navy's electric plane-thrower successfully launches an F-18

Francis Offord
Grenade

Remember TRUTH?

Did you say that we needed a faster harrier version. What did you think that the cancelled P1154 was? You remember surely, the aircraft was actually a Mach 2 version of the Harrier. Flash Harry Wilson cancelled it along with the TSR2 on orders of his Moscow masters owing to the fact that his masters could produce nothing like them and we must not have superiority over the Russkies at any price. Just a small example of the lengths to which Labour politicians will go in order to sabotage Great Britain. More recently we had the example of Gawdhelpus Brown flogging our birthright, in the form of Gold, which was sold at below bargain basement prices and never accounted for by parliamentary permission. If our country of Great Britain,and under the current regime I question the description of "GB", can be certain of one thing it is that anything which we invent will have to be developed overseas. We witnessed thias wiuth the Hovercraft and when it was utilised by America it was defined as NIH (not invenrted here and so unacceptable). If we are to escape union involvement and sabotage of production under the guise of industrial relations we must throw off the yoke which has bound us for the past 100 years and more. Make unions, parliamentarians and their hangers on accountable in law. When politicians make an observation, ensure that they live up to their promises AND we must have the methods by which we, the general public, are able to remove them from power legally and rapidly. Make them accountable for obeying the laws which they pass so that a lie is a lie and not "A termininalogical inexactitude". Make them as subject to the law as they seek to make the rest of us and put them into gaol where necessary, purely to encourage them to equity of course.

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Crazed reindeer stalks, attacks Scottish woman with antlers

Francis Offord
Thumb Up

Rein, not so, dear.

I can recall the problem occurring when I was stationed at RAF Kinloss in 1956 or 57. Somw of the aircrew had elected to go over Dava moor in order to get hime on one occasion and they were attacked when they stopped for tea and a pee. They were better equipped than the poor lady you reported, having a Very Pistol and supply of cartridges, this seemed to make the offender think again but their metal landrover was scored by the beasts antlers and they had a salutory lesson. That was, as I say, in the mid fifties so there have been possible events throughout that entire period. of course, the poor deer might have become incensed at hearing the wassail about him, red nosed reindeer indeed!

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US woman @theashes stumped by cricketing tweets

Francis Offord

Illiterate yanks

A wicket is a three bar gate.

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Brits blow millions on over-priced ink

Francis Offord
Grenade

No not us, say all the leaders

I was, for several years, happy to use branded cartridges for Epson but they have now outpriced me with their continual increases. I tried to use lookalikes but after they changed the format I was unable to use those and after many ignored requests for information I have been forced to change to another system altogether. My complaint regards the pricing of the inks available with an average of £54:00 minimum per gallon, a little excessive I believe. I have been unable to elucidate the reason for these excessive prices AND, I question the legality of their built in restrictions which prevent me from using other manufacturers inks by failing to permit my choice of inks. I am aware that their excuse is that it "may damage your printer" but this problem has never been explained to me and I question it's accuracy. It is typical of American business to make their issues predominant in regard to profits. I am also aware that they claim, rather lamely, that the Epson company is Japanese rather than American but "Who Owns It actually? and who is calling the tune to which we are all expected to dance? It is my contention that this company are exerting undue influence on a product which has been sold to ME and is therefore my property. I should have the freedom to use whichever inks I choose but this right is denied me by the dictators and there is no sanction applied, WHY? Surely it against the severe "anti trust" laws of the United States for this to happen, or it should be. The US government should/must become me involved on the side of equity. It is my strongly felt and firmly held belief that we are being treated as simpletons, as usual, and that we are being held

"by the balls" with the added fillip of Grab, Twist and Squeeze. Painful! Would Epson like to comment on my complaint?

Francis J. P. Offord.

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Tory councillor arrested over 'stoning to death' tweet

Francis Offord
WTF?

Sounds like HE was stoned

What a pity, it is that members of parliament cannot remember their own utterances accurately. He should, by rights, be charged with false witness (to his own memories) tried in a court of law and punished to the total extent of the law. I bet that, instead, he will be sanctified by his party, rather in the manner that Brown was over his financial falsehoods, and booted upstairs. He should be booted somewhere, preferably in a tender place.

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BOFH: You just can't go around killing people

Francis Offord
Thumb Up

Permanent fixing solution

415v 3 phase mains in 3 nanosecond bursts, about 20 will suffice

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ZTE calls foul over senators' 'xenophobic' letter

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Yank protectionism, hmmmm!

They call us insular but they still practise the most vile deterrent to internatio0nal co-operation. Twas ever thus. It is the same with the internet, they have found methods to completely subvert the intention of the founders, British of course, and make it into am American funded and milked entity for base profit to individuals. As I read it the original intention was that it should be free of commercial enterprises and profits and for the benefit of all, not the free loaders of American commerce with their various aberrations of freedom. What else would you expect from them anyway.

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Bye-bye to bizarro bye-laws, says UK.gov

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Male Bovine Ordure

And that adequately describes the safety rules regarding the actuality of getting this passed. Local Government will never permit anything which reduces their pettty rules or makes them relevant to other local authorities, adjacent or otherwise. Only one thing would encourage a me to vote for this national government "IMPROVEMENT" and that is they THEY would refrain from passing equally stupid ones in counteraction. Politicians give up a power? Dream on.

Am I cynical? You bet I am.

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One in five workers still clinging to IE6

Francis Offord
Thumb Down

Ignorance is bliss

I have been trying to change over for some months but I am, unable to make contact with Willaim. Perhaps he should make his operations more transparant and allow we plebs to make a change prior to being turfed off. I reiterate that I have made several attempts but William and his merry gang have ignored me, is it the soap I use or something? Are you listening out there William or must I invent an alternative source and challenge your present assailable position? No, I did not make a mistake, I meant what I said.

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Giant vulture menaces Scottish skies

Francis Offord
Linux

Bulls hit

This exemplifies the danger of importing un-natural beings into the existence of places other than their natural habitat. We saw the same thing with Grey Squirrels, only a few in the 1800s but look at them now. In other words, we fucked up again.

Those responsible should be told to "duck off".

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15K Wikileaks docs 'potentially more explosive,' US frets

Francis Offord

Hypocrisy

I see that, once again, the Yanks (our gallant allies)are opbjecting to having the truth told. The so called special relationship was between Churchill and Roosevelt not the countries they represented. Let us sdeclare UDI from both them AND them and the European Union and get back to what sense we can make of our former standing within the world. We can stand alone and when we do we usually make a good go of it, unless we have socialist principles interfering.

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Europe must cut duties on US gadgets

Francis Offord
FAIL

Bare faced cheek

Since when did the bloody Yanks believe in fair trade? It is only fair when it is in their favour and anything NIH (not invented here)is fair game for exclusion. Typical examples were Concord and Hovercraft which were actively campaigned against by believers in "The Land of the Free." A pot bellied pig has less cheek than Americans en masse.

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Global warming brings peace and happiness

Francis Offord
Go

Let's kill all the lawyers

I should amend that to "all the scientists" as they are equally as unbreliable as their learned brethren. We, I certainly, shall not be here to see it happen but you ignore the lessons of history at your peril. Nice day again?

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Halting McKinnon extradition not in our power, says Clegg

Francis Offord
Grenade

Decisions? don't make me laugh.

The only decisions made by British Politicians in the last few years would, by my reckoning count as treason and should receive the appropriate penalty. B.Liar, Gawdhelpus Brown and their ilk shoujld be made to explain their decisions to us in open court, never mind this helpless lad McKinnon. All he has done is to prove, yet again, how parlous is the American security situation. I have served with them both in UK and Stateside and can vouch for the fact that their idea of security is to spray thousands of rounds at any perceived breach

and then advise that it is CLEAR??? about time for our politicos to cease slavishly chanting "special relationship" and come" into the 21st century along with the rest of us. Yes, we had a special relationship during the second world war but they have been repaid many times over by our devotion to them since then. Stand up thr British and be counted for what we are. An individual nation who have proud traditions going far back to far beyond Roman times and almost into pre-history.

Shake off the shackles, allow us to be individuals again and make our own decisions Yank free!

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Francis Offord
Grenade

I can addlvery little to the opinions but

See my answer to "anything Bush could do"

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BT workers to ballot for strike

Francis Offord
Megaphone

Unions Political? Never!!!

The thought that union bosses are ever interested enough to make a weighted judgement makes me cringe. I have never, in my 75 years, seen such stupidity as putting their members jobs at risk and blaming "the conservatives" for their plight. Could it possibly be that the union is to blame for reckless behaviour? After all, the union executives with their gold plated, if not solid gold, remuneration and pensions have no thought for anyone but themselves. It is time to reflect on the utterances made by the "Adolph" tribe in order to justify the claims made by them and the wicked repression of free speech practised by them. I understand the reason for unionisation (horrible word) but not the manner in which it is practised. The odd union member who makes any contraversial comment is treated to a bullying tirade by the very members who should be helping them.

FGrancis Offord.

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'al-Qaeda suicide cat' sends US Iraq war robots out of control

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Whoopee do!

I'm glad you told me this. I can now sleep soundly in my bed, if I can find it.

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Man coughs to sex with donkey and horse

Francis Offord
Pint

Cor, (or if you are a crow CAW)

What a waste of energy and time but it could have been worse, it might have been with a chicken. Would that make him a fowl fornicator?

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Getting drunk the night before has no effect on exam results

Francis Offord
Pint

Really?

I am surprised by the academic drunks who are advocating the removal of alcohol from public disdplay and use. In my days of studying we had, if we could afford it, possibly one "Binge" per week, But can you define "BINGE"? Again, in my day, 6 or 7 pints was normal drinking for an evening, up to 15 was a session and beyond that was a binge. Now our respected medicos are recommending that 2 ro 3 pints 2 or 3 times a week is acceptable and beyond that we are bingeing. By whose authority do they say that owing to the fact that, as far as I aware, the medical and philological sciences are far divorced. Perhaps I have missed something somewhere but I do believe that a cobbler should stick to his last and refrain from interfering in the work of others, especially if he/she cannot understand or speak definitively on the subject. I am aware that "elfnsafety" come into the problem but I have always been a believer that my actions should be covered by my personal outlook and that if I do not impinge upon others I should be left to go to hell in my own manner. Any takers? Francis J. P. Offord.

(Of dubious repute and doubtful morals.)

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Brown creates one UK.gov website to rule them all

Francis Offord
Grenade

Back to the future.

If "Chubby" Gawdhelpus Brown was serious about matters he would ensure that akll his crew were able to comprehend ethos of the internet and it's ramifications. The performance so far has shown just how little the politicians actually understand and what mistakes cost, not them, us.

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Gulag awaits Russian Olympic trainers

Francis Offord
Gates Horns

So, what is different?

Whatever anyone says you have to admit that the stark choice makes for a realistic incentive to do well. We should adopt the same policy. Only problem being no nasty Gulag but as a horror image you could sentence backsliders to listen to parliamentary debates for three days every week and write dissertations on them for posterity.

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French poised to seize Port of Dover

Francis Offord
Alert

Anti English Bias

That is too simple, remember that ownership is theft, according to those who envy and do nothing.

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Santa sticks up bank to 'pay elves'

Francis Offord
Pint

Peace and goodwill to all men

Not to mention elves

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'CRU cherrypicked Russian climate data', says Russian

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Governmemtal puff or what?

There are lies,Damned lies,Statistics and Governmental figures, which would you rather believe? Somebody is making a good living out of the scaremongering, could it possibly be those seekers after truth,(we are told) scientists?

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Queen promises to make poverty and budget deficits illegal

Francis Offord
Unhappy

Heard it all before

A pity that the second line in your introduction will not be implemented but the words of that old refrain are apposite, "seems to me I've heard this song before". What still does not sound true are the sentiments, whatever party is in power, they never do what they say on the tin. They could make a start by cleaning up their own house of secrets, sorry, perhaps I mean their outrageous expenses. Time to accept a basic wage and let the gravy train pass on through with all it's attractions, and with only a very basic allowance given in extreme circumstances. Perhaps we could then lead the EU into making their budget balance or call for dissolution of that infamous, so called, parliament. Perhaps the Belgians could finally come to realise that the most famous Belgian is a fictional character, Hercule Poirot. Worse than Gawdhelpus Brown, the foreign leader of our parliament in England.

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Latest Navy carrier madness: 'Sell 'em to India'

Francis Offord

Here we go again!

I find the arguments interesting to say the least bu totally unconvincing when it comes to operational usefullness. We have been brainwashed into thinking many things from historical experience were factually based but they have proved to be an exercise an fallability. After Pearl Harbour we, and the Yanks, built up our carrier defence capability but during one of the nmany Labour Purges of the defence capability of the United Kingdom (well it was then) we were informed by the musclebound brains of the government, who had very little military experience, that carriers were done for before sailing.

If that was the case why did the Yanks have enouigh sense to mothball their fleet whilst we made ours into razorblades, or whatever we did with them? Why, in the light of subsequent experience, are we having this debate again now? It remains the aim of successive Labour administrations to obey their lords and masters in the Kremlin and reduce us to third world capability militarily. I have news for them, they have already succeeded to the point where we could not even defend ourselves against Holland or Belgium. That being the case, they should at least pronounce their intentions proudly and allow us to come to accept that status. I shall vote again when the first honest entrant into parliament, since Guy Fawkes,

makes his appearance.

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Swindon council promises townsfolk free Wi-Fi XTC

Francis Offord
Thumb Up

Indecision

in your article you are, seemingly, undecided as to the means of address towards the inhabitants of Swindon. Referring to them variously as Swindoners, Swindonites and Swindonians. May I, as a purely personal viewpoint from 1966, when I was based at RAF South Cerney suggest "Swindlers"?

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Mantis Reaper-clone drone flies

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Are we starting to catch on

Historically, the Labour party have systematically destroyed the British Aircraft industry along with also makinmg it impossible to defend our islands owing to procrastination. They are seen to be doing so again by denying our troops workable equipment at reasonable prices. The chief example is the Typhoon aircraft, which was years late and below original spec. An earlier example was the TSR 2, along with the Kestrel which was the Mach 2 version of the Harrier. Wilson was given instructions from the Kremlin to cancel tyhese aircraft as Russia had nothing comparable. He obeyed his masters and this has subsequently meant that we have inferior and overpriced aircraft to operate. We are seeing the results of parsimony in the increasing deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq. I'm not saying that we should give the services carte blanch but that we should listen to their often stated requirements for equipment which would be instrumental in saving lives and, ultimately, making our forces even more efficient than they already are. I hazard a guess that if the Southern Irish raided our shores with the intent to occupy that they would almost certainly succeed since we no longer have the strength in numbers to defend ourselves.

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Urinating Spaniard soaks Street View's Canaries

Francis Offord
Pint

A proper extraction job Eh?

As the fat woman said to the fat man: Thanks for the tip

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UK to build robot stealth raygun jet/copter

Francis Offord
Pint

Pop-up chopper indeed!

This would have been taken as being obvious when "I were a lad." And were'nt the girls happy with that arrangement???

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Baying mob turns on miniskirted Brazilian uni student

Francis Offord
Thumb Down

Follow the yellow brick road.

Looks as though their authorities have been taking lessons from the anti freedom police and anti personal choice brigade who currently rule in Britain. Ignoring the actual problems by selecting am individual to persecute rather than the real offender. It was probably caused by a spurned advance towards her after a lewd comment from one who wished to gain sexual favours from her and, when rejected, retaliated by branding her as a whore. In my observation, students do not usually band together in this way without a guiding light prompting them. Most of the young students in my acquaintance are thoughtful and serious most of the time but, being suggestible, have some matter put to them by another and them raise the cudgels for an all out attack. Not the action of considered thjought but that aggravated by a rabble rouser.

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Peugeot's bulbous BB1 e-car bound for Blighty

Francis Offord
Thumb Down

Beholden beauty

Bloody hell, it's uglier than a FIAT worse than death.

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Toshiba touts 15Mp image sensor

Francis Offord

What a superb idea

BUT, will it bath the baby?

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BT to push fibre to 1.5m more homes and businesses

Francis Offord
Megaphone

Deja Vu (again)

I was about to change suppliers and use BT some time ago but; when I approached them about a changeover I was informed that they could not help me as I was not on their network. That was precisely the point I was attempting to make. It appears that they do not have anyone who comprehends the meaning of English. I tried explaining that I required to change over but they missed the point. I think it all comes from the problems caused by "outsourcing" to somewhere which has English as a secone language. You may pass this over to the powers that be on BT if you wish as I, as certain as day and night happens, could not get through to them. And, they call themselves British Telecom??? It would be funny if it was not ludicrous, I was willing to expand their empire buy one and they did not wish to know. Francis.

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How's your desktop support service desk looking?

Francis Offord
Coffee/keyboard

Desktop Support (or lack of it)

I firmly believe that in SOME cases the problem lies in the "outsourcing" done in our names. It is all fine and well that knowledgeable persons are used but the fact that in some cases you have to deal with people whose first language is not English this does not ease the situation. Yes, those with whom you speak are undoubtably well trained in their subject. Yes, they are very nice people , love their mothers, kind to stray animals and kiss childrens bumped knees better BUT. An incomplete understanding of the language which they are using and the lack of knowledge of the nuances of expression are counter productive. Just look at the differences between American English and English English, there is a complete study alone. Add to that the problems of dialectical pronounciation and differing usages and you exacerbate the situation enormously. Take this into account when making yous assessment of efficacy. Francis J. P. Offord.

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Freeview website titsup ahead of big retune

Francis Offord
Pint

It's the BBC.

Translated as the "British Ballsup Compeny". So what's new about this?

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Baroness Scotland fined for failing to follow own law

Francis Offord
Pint

There is no dungeon deep enough

Yet again we see the difference between the populace and the heirarchy. The producer of the specific law cannot claim lack of knowledge of the laws provisions, she wrote it for gods sake and anyway, ignorance of the law is no excuse for non compliance

as we are constantly reminded. £5000 is derisory, it should be 10 times that, or more. It should mean a quick despatch from her governmental duties and, preferably, re-housing in somewhere like one of Her Majesty's penal establishments and the charging of full bed and board. It should be combined with all the panoply of the law and restrictions which such housing requires and public humiliation upon her release. We have recently seen an innocent man released from custody after 27 years and his rental and food removed from the settlement process, despite his being innocent. We have not heard that any consideration was given to him for the inconvenience and humiliation he has suffered yet this member of the great and good has the approvel of Gawd Helpus Brown, so that is OK. There is the distinct odour of rotting kippers emanating from Downing Street. The whole rotten government should stand accused tried and dispatched including all the hangers on who purport to being involved in the process of law making. until/unless our law makers who turn to be law breakers are brought to book we shall remain as laughing stocke of the world.

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3-tonne robot flying saucer offered to world's militaries

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

Yet another potential ripoff

I have no doubt whatever that nobody in the States will buy it because of their proclivity for avoidance of anything which was NIH (not invented here). We saw that same problem when our aircraft industry proclaimed their unwillingness to produce a mach 2 version of the Harrier. We had one flying in the 60s but Flash Harry decided that it might be against his communistic theories and training if he permitted it to go ahead, so he chopped it. The twodefinitiuons were the P1127 (Harrier) and P1154 whose name escapes me currently but students of history, and treasonable activity, will recall and perhaps add to this discussion. And, that is not to mention the back stabbing over the Hovercraft, crushed out by the Yankee avaition industry, It would have been a notable success in Afghanistan and Iraq for completing rescues of gallant service personnel.

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Aussie woman's toilet trauma prompts lav-overhaul call

Francis Offord
Joke

Always take plenty of reading matter.

Shouldn't there have been 3 of them? When it comes to survival look at Isiah chapter 36 verse 12 for pointers.

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New attack resurrects previously patched security bugs

Francis Offord
Megaphone

Why am I not surprised

The total lack of control exhibited by William and his merry men

leaves me in despair. Ever since he took over the role of our guardian we have been suffering regular incursions into out security and the "Whiz Kidz" who operate in his behalf are simply not up to the business. They should be fired and competent operators brought on board. Ever since I have been using Windows I have been subjected to regular down times owing to this incompetence and I have been strongly tempted to change over to "Apple" pie instead. Can William and his gang assure me that they will be responsible for any data loss I endure and will pick up the expenses of adjusting to the renewal of my system? Francis Offord, NOT well "gruntled".

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Microsoft to issue emergency patches Tuesday

Francis Offord
Flame

Cluck Cluck

If William is admitting to this then we have to ask "just how bad is it?" I am unconvinced as to the depth of urgency as stated from a year ago it seems to have inveigled itselt into plenty of sites, some of which could be critical to our continued use of the internet. Will William ever get it right first time? Answers on a £50:00 note please.

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MoD sticks with 'most decrepit browser in the world'

Francis Offord
Stop

What a bloody cheek

For the government to begin postulating "internet security" with their record would be laughable, if it were not ludicrous.

Nobody has informed me about IE7 or IE8 being more secure and, given their history, Microsoft will not convince me of their abilities in this direction. IE6 was a bloody disaster with patches sufficient to cover a Dutchmans trousers on reheat and, I have not been convinced about the latest offering as yet. It will, possibly, be better but I shall await my own estimation of it's efficacy before making the expensive change to upgrade (?) I do not find that IE6 is too bad, slow occasionally but I do not require hyper or warp speed, merely accuracy. Get that right and you sell to me.

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Michael Jackson manifests in California tree stump

Francis Offord
Black Helicopters

ONE PLANK RESEMBLES ANOTHER

There, I've said it.

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BOFH: A spot of bother

Francis Offord
Stop

Bats From Our Hell (?)

Why state the glaringly obvious. This is totally normal helpline procedure from my observation, not limited to Fiday afternoons.

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US starts emergency radio tests

Francis Offord
FAIL

Male bovine ordure

Only the Yanks could think up the idea of utilizing such equipment feasable. Emergency frequencies, by their very nature, are used by operators who use verbal shorthand and it goes without saying, or should do, that one operators shorthand might well block essential informnation from another source. I realise that this will not be popular with those who's business is making money from selling off spectrum use to the highest bidder BUT it surely does make good sense to limit the damage done by outsiders using life saving airspace. For god's sake do noy let this catch on or Gordon and his merry men will insist that all aeronautical conversatioons must take place on a single frequency and devil take anyone who thinks differently

The result will be chaotic super babble and multipole deaths. Not that that would bother Gordon and his discredited band of brothers, it would merely prove, in his eyes, that he was correct all along and we are all out of step with his "Thoughts of Chairman Brown".

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