* Posts by Stevie

4067 posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

Daft draft anti-car-hack law could put innocent drivers away for life

Stevie
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Bah

So disconnect the fucking cars from the internet. Shut down the WiFi and bluetooth device discovery gubbins.

And show the politicians a bigger publicity opportunity.

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Pop goes the weasel! Large Hadron Collider blown up by critter chomping 66kV cable

Stevie
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Bah!

We need video. Nothing funnier than exploding weasels.

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Your mother has a smooth forehead, Klingon language lovers roar at Paramount

Stevie
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Bah!

Didn't see this one coming.

Oh wait ...

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Germans stick traffic lights in pavements for addicts who can't take their eyes off phones

Stevie
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Re: @ It's the same sort of internet cowardice

Says the person hiding behind the ac monicker. Nice one.

Sorry mate, gallows humour is a fact of life. Your outrage is misplaced as are your tales of sad old people.

Where I live we've lost a few young people to being run down by trains on grade crossings. Crossings are protected by barriers that come down about fifteen seconds before the train arrives. Trains sound an earsplitting ait horn with THREE blasts as they approach. And yet the smartphone phuckwits still get mown down.

This is in no way, shape or form the fault of anyone but the squishee.

And of course the bill for the cleanup and the lawsuits and the therapy for the engineer and the organ collection team and police units on site (who are the ones I feel sorry for) goes to the taxpayer.

So no. I don't think I'll take your misplaced rage-induced advice. I'm not the one needs my head examining. That treatment should be given to anyone who survives the inevitable result of their own brainless behaviour.

I'm on record here and elsewhere in my belief that there should be laws against people owning portable electronics that are more intelligent than they themselves are. This nonsense just strengthens my position.

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Stevie
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Re: @ A number of you here

The comments are in general witty and I would point out that it ain't the ones making fun who are ultimately responsible for you not feeling like anything for dinner after you finish your shift. What exactly do you expect the driver who hits some stupid idiot without the brains god gave a cowpat to do anyway? Other than get into therapy for the inevitable mental trauma, that is.

We have train drivers here who have been at the throttle when a drunk or depressed moron has swan dived in front of the train, and who are never going to get back behind the throttle even after months of therapy because how many times can you watch someone burst six inches from your face?

Stick the blame where it belongs fot fuck's sake: with the phone phuckwit.

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Stevie
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Re: Trams

So, not only run over by a tram, but had all his amalgam fillings magnetized into the bargain.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Anyone wandering out into the road while smart phoning is In Play.

The only legitimate debate is: how many points are they worth?

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Rampant robot tries to rip my clothes off

Stevie
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Bah!

Most boring video ever. A stunning indictment of the 1980s.

And why is Ted Cruze in it?

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Another failed merger, Carly? Ted Cruz to bring in ex-HP boss Fiorina as running mate

Stevie
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Bah!

If Cruze were serious about engaging in mortal Thunderdome combat with Trump for the Republican nomination he'd fight crazy by upping the ante.

Yes, I'm talking Sarah Palin, the nuclear opition of crazy politics. I doubt she'd know the diffence between Ted and Don so grabbing her allegiance would be as simple as asking her to do that voodoo that she does so well.

Naturally this would not result in an electable ticket but what the hell.

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Game of P0wns: Malvertising menace strikes Pirate Bay season six downloads

Stevie
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Bah!

Winter is coming.

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30 years on, Chernobyl wildlife still feeling effects of nuke plant catastrophe

Stevie
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Bah!

On the upside: no Daleks.

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What do you call an old, unpatched and easily hacked PC? An ATM

Stevie
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Re: You don't f***ing say?

Wait, I thought the black box was the internet. Somebody nip up Big Ben and see if it's still there.

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Docker hired private detectives to pursue woman engineer's rape, death threat trolls

Stevie
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Bah!

One wonders at the psychology involved.

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F-35's dodgy software in the spotlight again

Stevie
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Bah!

We had this phenomenon back in the late 70s. Computer-based systems are prone to being enhanced unil they stop working at all.

"Mission Accomplished".

The next phase is to quietly shelve whatever it is and agree never to speak of it again.

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Google Loon balloon crash lands in Chile

Stevie
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Re: You don't get lessons like that these days

Mostly on account of the number of CMOS-fitted devices crammed into everyone's pockets.

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Stevie
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Re: tie thier tails together

"The ascending balloon will encounter charged particles that will eventually counteract the be-staticed cats, causing them to lose charge and fall off."

Which is why you use ebonite and not amber when selecting your cat-charging rod. More attention to the lab notes is indicated and certainly more time cranking the Wimshurst machine. A little time with a balloon, a cat, and a common or garden gold leaf electroscope would seem to be in order too.

And lets not forget the cork ball apparatus.

Less reliance on assumption and more on the behaviour of one's balls when excited by the Van Der Graaf Generator would stand every young lad in good stead.

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Stevie
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Re: tie thier tails together

Dangerous rubbish!

The correct method is to rub each cat's fur vigorously with an ebonite rod and stick it directly to the balloon envelope with the generated static electricity.

What on earth are they teaching in schools today?

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A perfect marriage: YOU and Ubuntu 16.04

Stevie
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Bah!

Because it was sentenced to the maggot pit some years ago?

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Romania suffers Eurovision premature ejection

Stevie
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Bah!

Why is it always the foreigners who demonstrate innovative thinking when it comes to problem solving? Questions should be asked in The House.

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Dutch students serve up world's first 'drone café'

Stevie
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Bah!

The Dutch have cracked the vexing issue of how to get glassed in the face before anyone's had anything to drink and without all that tedious mucking about starting an argument.

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MoD contractor hacked, 831 members of defence community exposed

Stevie
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Bah!

Not getting why entire credential file wasn't encrypted, userids 'n' orl.

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Kent Police handed domestic abuse victim's data to alleged abuser – a Kent cop

Stevie
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Kent Police has been fined £80k...

So, the taxpayers were fined, really.

What about PC Fuckwit, (The Spousebeater's Friend)? Fined? Desk duty? Demotion? Sacked? Reassigned to Craggy Island?

I've often wondered whether the answer to these Blue Wall cases might not be to sue the relevant police pension fund in some way. Once the Boys in Blue understand that for every baddun they stand behind their own bottom line takes a potential smack in the hurtybits the urge to persuade the badduns to come forward would be overpowering.

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Stevie
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Bah!

As soon as it became clear that the complaint was being made against a fellow copper the story not only made more sense, it became one more in a set of depressingly similar "band of brothers" spousal domestic dispute stories.

Can the lawyer be called up before the bar? Stupid question: they are the very worst "wall of silence" offenders, closing ranks tighter than doctors do when one of their own is shown to possess above average levels of moral blindness and culpable malpractice.

Spouses of cops should have some other way of accessing the laws supposedly that protect them than the very buggers posing the problem and their boozer buddies.

What a bloody disgrace.

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FBI's Tor pedo torpedoes torpedoed by United States judge

Stevie
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Bah!

Perhaps if the FBI lawyers hadn't been so distracted trying to set precedent with the high-profile iPhone cracking case they could have spotted this obvious uckfup in the making.

And while having no sympathy for pedophile scum, there's a small discrepancy in the FBI's expectations (200 000) and their haul (1300). Again.

As for the judge, it is unrealistic to expect a human being to have pinpoint knowledge of all laws, and we do not know what the FBI representative(s) said to justify the warrant. Disappointing that it didn't occur to the judge to question jurisdiction, but ultimately the blame for this sits in the FBI's court from my seat in the stands.

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How innocent people 'of no security interest' are mere keystrokes away in UK's spy databases

Stevie
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Bah!

(Mode =Clouseau) So M'sieu werdsmith, are you saying ... that you wish to be made into an office block?

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Qualcomm channels Star Trek's Scotty as it faces a mobe chip wreck

Stevie
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Bah!y

Years ago I had a boss who asked how long it would take me to do a complex task.

"Three days."

"What if I said you only had two?"

"It would still take three days of me working through lunch, taking no breaks, staying late and working when I get home. This isn't Star Trek and I don't inflate my estimates so I can pull a "Scotty". You say you need this badly, I take you at your word. It would be helpful if you would take me at mine."

That was the end of that particular stupidity.

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So you’d sod off to China to escape the EU, Google? Really?

Stevie
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Bah!

There ought to be somewhere one could add a few seconds of themselves laughing as a video petition that Google stop talking out of their corporate arse.

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Intel literally decimates workforce: 12,000 will be axed, CFO shifts to sales

Stevie
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Bah!

So they will break into teams of ten, draw lots and the loser will be clubbed to death by the others?

Tough severance package.

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Censorship FTW! China bans Paris Hilton, minor Kardashians et al

Stevie
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Bah!

So China wants to take an already asinine and boring format and make it the equivalent of watching paint dry. That should kill it in about three weeks.

That's brilliant!

Once again China leads the world!

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All-Python malware nasty bites Windows victims in Poland

Stevie
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Bah!

Seems to me this could be mitigated by a simple every-other-line edit to change the number of leading tabs. Harmless to most files, death to python scripts.

[later] After more thinks I see this wouldn't work though.

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NYPD anti-crypto Twitter campaign goes about as well as you'd expect

Stevie
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Bah!

Par for the course.

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Chinese crypto techie sentenced to death for leaking state secrets

Stevie
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Bah!

Flaunting wealth in the Worker's Paradise? Sounds like an express ticket to organ reassignment surgery to me.

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Snafu! BT funnels all customers' sent email into one poor sod's inbox

Stevie
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Bah!

Obvious script mistake. That should have been a BCC addressee.

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Saw-inspired horror slowly deletes your PC's files as you scramble to pay the ransom

Stevie
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Bah!

If all the files have been deleted, what's the incentive to pay the increased ransom?

Was this malware sent by Doug and Dinsdale Piranha?

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Are bearded blokes more sexist?

Stevie
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Re: MISOGNY!

Once again we see a so-called survey in which bias is built-in from the get-go.

The sample should include groups of women, men, transgender individuals and all should be represented by both bearded and non-bearded persons.

These people should be made to wear burkhas and to speak through randomly cycling frequecy shifters when answering the survey to avoid biasing the quizmaster with visual and/or sonic cues.

Each should also wear a harness that can deliver small shocks to various parts of their bodies so that a consistent and non-gender identifying mode of fidgeting can be imposed on the sample.

To be absolutely rigorous the subjects shouldn't know to which group they belong, nor whether or not they are clean-shaven.

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Stevie
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Bah!

That's sexy!

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Google found 760,935 compromised web sites in a year

Stevie
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Bah!

Must remember to git me some o' them thar "interstitials".

Stupid marketerspeek drone.

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Job ad promises 'Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack'

Stevie
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Re: In fact, C# really is the new COBOL (but without the stability or dependability). :)

Or legibility or maturity.

A computer language is just a tool. The job you do with it is partly predicated by your actual knowledge of how to use it and for which jobs it is intended, and lots more predicated by your preconceptions of what it can't do (which is just a way of saying "what I can't do with it 'cos I don't know how").

Now pass me the Stillson's so I can give this Rover slush-box valve a good thump and get the shift working again.

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Linux command line mistake 'nukes web boss'S biz'

Stevie
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Bah!

And another young man discovers that the hubris-rich axiom from his CS degree course "Unix admins doon't need an 'are you sure?' button because Unix admins know what they are doing" has an important unspoken loophole: "until they don't".

Unless this is a misidentified April Fool and the Satanic Messages In Harry Potter story rides again.

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Swedish air controllers debunk cyber attack disruption theory

Stevie
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Bah!

Fools! It's obvious the fucking Russians have hacked the Sun!

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Brit AI daddy Sir David MacKay dies

Stevie
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Bah!

Agree with his views or not, it is a shame that one with so much to contribute to the Human Uplift had to die so young.

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Russia sends exploit kit author to the GULAG for seven years

Stevie
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Bah!

Upon release "Paunch" will return to action under his new handle "Frostbyte".

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AMC sobers up, apologizes for silly cinema texting plan

Stevie
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Re: @John 104

Life would be so much easier if within thew theater the cell signal was squelched, but that is illegal here in the land of the free(tard).

"What if someone has an emergency?" I hear the usual claque howl.

Then someone can step outside the theater into the corridor and make a call somewhere where the Dolby 8.27 UrfKwake(tm) surround sound won't be drowning out their voice too.

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Vinyl LPs to top 3 million sales in Blighty this year

Stevie
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Re: Wow

Ah, RCA. I remember walking back from a distant pub after closing time one winter's eve around Christmas with four friends, one whom was in posession of a fifth absent friend's copy of Hunky Dory, pressed by RCA.

"Hey" says Mark, studying the back of the sleeve. "This album is made of Dynaflex!"

"Wossat then?" I say to general ridicule.

"It's this new stuff that's almost indestructible" says Gary. "You can bend the album in two, edges touching and all that, and it will play just fine after an' all."

"Gerroudavit!" I respond.

"I'll show ya" says Mark, breath steaming in the well-below freezing air, and draws the disc from its sleeve.

"Er, that's Mick's record" I say, nervously. We were none of us feeling any pain after a couple of pints each (seventeen, ah youth) and this was shrugged off by everyone as "a detail".

"Watch and be amazed!" Says Mark, bends the album edges toward each other.

A sharp crack and the air is full of tiny flying razor-sharp shards of plastic.

And just like that a miserable freezing night is transformed into high merriment and neighbourly shouts of "Bugger off, you kids!"

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Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon

Stevie
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Re: Bah!

"Donate"?

Donate the Innuit family and sled team? The three different colored dragons with broken chains? The lear jet that seats 8 plus two pilots? The Viking ship with crew? The Pirate ship with crew and working cannons and a secret compartment in the poop deck c/w treasure chest? The three foot wide, two and a half foot tall castle "with everything"? The farm? The polar reasearch station?

Dream on. They are mine for research purposes now.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Dear sir, My Fridays consist of sitting at a desk being sneered at by thirty-somethings who think Unix is hard, computers are clever and older mainframe era staff are shirt thick.

At my desk my job is to look for the dumbass mistake made in the latest script written by "our best script guy" and fix it, while being yelled at by people who think I am responsible for the code in question.

My daughter has announced her intention to move 1700 miles away, leaving her sizable collection of Playmobil behind. Said collection includes many items long out of production and hence rare, and also many items only sold in Canada.

In short, I have the motivation and the equipment, and a strong desire to leave Mr Coder neck deep in his own work.

Gissajob!

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Apple assumes you'll toss the Watch after three years

Stevie
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Re: Four years?!?!

Nonononono. People won't be ditching them because they've stopped working. They'll be doing so because they aren't aesthetically de la mode any more.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Stevie
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Bah!

Visit the unbeliever with delicious food!

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Music's value gap? Follow the money trail back to Google

Stevie
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Bah!

I'd have more sympathy for the music conglomorates if they hadn't spent my entire music-buying youth delivering rock-bottom quality at top-shelf prices.

EMI used to whine about how it was going bust because of all the home taping going on, while quietly not mentioning the sales figures for its own blank recording tape division.

Pre-recorded cassettes were always a joke too. No album art or info, cheap as shirt cassettes with ferric oxide tape. In 85 they made Brothers in Arms on Chrome Dioxide tape and claimed it as high quality, apparently unaware of the two decades of development that had produced super avalyn and similar proprietary materials that were both better from a signal reproduction standpoint and less abrasive to the transcription equipment itself.

So cry me a river, music congloms.

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US anti-encryption law is so 'braindead' it will outlaw file compression

Stevie
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Bah!

Once it dawns that corporate super-pac monies will disappear if this bill is forwarded it will wither away.

Would that the people proposing it would do so.

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