* Posts by Stevie

3128 posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

China tackles vital strippers-at-funeral problem

Stevie
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Bah!

China will never be considered to have properly entered the 21st century until these women are allowed to mourn the dead in their own fashion.

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THE TRUTH: IRS 'cyber-hack' exposes 100,000 people whose identities were already stolen

Stevie
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Bah!

It's not about the hackers "viewing your 1040EZ" you blithering twit. It's about having someone file a fraudulent tax return in your name next year and making off with a sizable refund check and leaving you,the hacked, on the hook for it all until it gets sorted out, which can take forever but in the meantime you still have to make good and the IRS works - legally - on the principle of guilty until you prove otherwise.

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Hacker uses Starbucks INFINITE MONEY for free CHICKEN SANDWICH

Stevie
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Bah!

While not entirely happy about running the exploit to prove it works without authorization, I am flabbergasted that Starbucks would sic the Fraud Dog on the hacker.

I have a method for evaluating actions I often espouse to my younger, more hotheaded peers. Ask "what's the best thing that could happen?" and phrase the answer as the negation of the worst thing you can think of happening.

Which would possibly have the Starbucks Fraud Dog constructing the following exchange: "What's the best thing that could happen as a result of me threatening this idiot with fraud charges? The case does not become a public cause celebre, the public does not start staying away in droves as the newspapers pile in and the Starbucks brand does not take a damned good thrashing in the market as a result."

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Manchester car park lock hack leads to horn-blare hoo-ha

Stevie
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Re: plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

*nods* I once opened a Toyota Celica door for a young lady who had locked herself out and the keys in. I used the otherwise useless "fish-hook disgorger" blade on mi' trusty Swiss Army Knife.

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Stevie
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Bah!

So why aren't the locks designed to lock when the door is closed and only open for a transmission or a physical key ( or, of course, a pull on the interior door handle)? This has all the hallmarks of cheap, bad engineering.

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Heroic German rozzers rescue innocent lamb from sordid brothel

Stevie
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Baa!

Sounds like the police just wanted a cuddly pet of their own.

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Multiple fondling on the MIGHTY 12-INCH iOS 9 SLAB — so, so close now

Stevie
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Bah!

I'll give him this (amongst much else), Steve Jobs understood the downside of multi-user login: a drop in actual device sales. My observational data suggest people are buying extra iPads so as to not have the kids play with theirs.

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Well YES, Silicon Valley VCs do think you're a CRETIN

Stevie
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Re: Well,

I read this several times, but I still don't comprehend. You seem to be living an almost toast-free existence.

It's called going off the griddle.

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New Windows 10 Build 10122 aims to fix file association hijacking

Stevie
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Re: Bah!

Only if you want them. But if all you're going to do is look at the pictures, they should be perfect for you.

So you already have a solution to what you assume is my problem with the tiles?

How Microsoft of you!

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Stevie
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Bah!

Still infected with those bug-ugly tiles I see.

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ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Stevie
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Re: Repeat after me:

Innit good the way The Register App broke your links so they only worked on a real computer?

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Rand Paul stages Senate filibuster against Patriot Act

Stevie
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Bah!

Quitters don't get to be president, Mr Paul.

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Microsoft: Free Windows 10 for THIEVES and PIRATES? They can GET STUFFED

Stevie
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Bah!

Makes as much sense as the Windows EULA does.

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Safari URL-spoofing vuln reveals how fanbois can be led astray

Stevie
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Bah!

So the answer would seem to be to stay away from this insidious "Website A" at all costs.

Or not to use the Safari browser of course. Speaking for my own experience using it on an iPad Air with an intermittent internet broadband connection (using it on my train commute) it is much less robust in terms of being able to cope with the webs going away and then coming back after a "post" has timed out than my browser of choice. Firefox over WIn7 has no problem with the same scenario.

Trying to edit a "favorite" today had me snarling in rage as numerous attempts failed to update the bloody thing. I ended up deleting it in the end and starting over from scratch. Hands down the worst f*cking browser/platform combination I've ever used.

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'Millions' of routers open to absurdly outdated NetUSB hijack

Stevie
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Bah!

*sighs* All your lightulb are belong to Blues Traveler.

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Mad Max: Fury Road – two hours of nonstop, utterly insane fantasy action

Stevie
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Bah!

Tsk! Australians, eh?

Speaking as someone who loved the quickfire audio-visual mini-jokes larded into Road Warrior & Thunderdome I can absolutely believe the post apocalyptic tongue was intentionally firmly in radiation-scarred cheek.

Iconic movies, all of them. Everyone yaps on about the "aerial shot everyone steals from Bladerunner" but how many times have you seen a recapitulation of "the disarming of Max at the gates of Bartertown"? The Hobbit was only the most recent "homage".

A sadly underrated series. This latest one is high on the Stevie Watch list (I never go in the first few days as I prefer to watch without an infuriating field of tiny oblong foglights shining back at me).

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Hacker 3D prints device that can crack a combo lock in 30 seconds

Stevie
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Bah!

So the story is really that an electric lockpicker uses 3d printed bits to hold the lock in place?

I have to say I find the headline just a whole lotta misleading there. It seems to me that the one completely disposable component in the solution is the 3d printer.

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Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Stevie
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Re: low speed bumps are not "accidents"

Unless they are, such as those caused by mechanical failure or other factors not linked to the vehicle itself. The classic example is the rear-end shunt in heavy traffic that catapults the hit vehicle into the one in front. Another would be the driver having a heart attack or some other debilitating problem. Perhaps he or she has been shot by arguing drug dealers.

I don't think you should drive until your intellect-clouding rage over the issue subsides a bit, unless you've got a car that can stop itself of course.

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Stevie
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Bah!

When I saw an advert for the Mercedes which not only slams on the anchors but slams up any open windows when it thinks it is going to crash all I could think of was the rash of decapitated dogs we were going to be seeing in the yellow press.

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Stevie
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Re: I hope this is programmed right ...

I'm looking forward to the newspaper stories of how yobos cause traffic snarls by tossing traffic cones in front of vehicles at rush hour in a coordinated manner.

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Chinese cyber-spies hid botnet controls in MS TechNet comments

Stevie
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Bah!

Does this also explain those Amazon book listings where one might obtain, for example, a secondhand copy of Unix in a Nutshell for $1400 (or alternatively, a new copy for $4)? I used to keep a list of the more outrageous and inexplicable prices quoted by ANY_BOOK.

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RAF radar station crew begs public for cash to buy gaming LAN kit

Stevie
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is kickstarter just a begging site now?

Only if you fall for the pitch.

Move on. No Harm. No Foul.

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You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

Stevie
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Re: Anyone who thinks that these things were invented in the early eighties

In all fairness the article doesn't say that, but you are right that there is a perception that this is when the technology was invented as opposed to when portable electronic instruments became a) practical and 2) affordable.

And that was down to the abandonment of the original Moog/Roland/ARP style synths for the FM synths that followed in the wake of the DX7, which was not only simple to use, it had digital memory in which to store the settings (called "patches"). This crashed the prices of the old-school "analog" synths so far they were not economical to make within a decade. In '84 I picked up a new SH101 leadline analog synth with all the available bolt-ons for it for exactly one hundred dollars.

Once sampling (another technology that had been around for yonks) was affordable (which was around the mid-to-late 80s) the game changed again and you got everyone and his dog making much use of other people's work.

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Stevie
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Bah!

"The" synthesizer revolution was actually a number of major and minor revolutions that started with the subtractive/additive "analogue" synths that were monophonic and shared info, when they could, using a simple control voltage/gate hookup through the truly game-changing DX7 FM synth (which fathered the Yamaha affordable home keyboard market and got rid of the Wakeman Wall O' Keyboard Racks overnight to the everlasting joy of the roadies) and not long after a game changed again move to sample-based music generation systems, all alongside a transition to inter-music-toy communication using MIDI.

Parallel developments led to inexpensive polyphonics (it is harder to do that than you might think) and velocity sensitive keyboards, all important in the development of the astounding, damn-near real feal of today's electronic pianos with feedback mechanics that let you feel the non-existent hammers falling back after hitting an imaginary string through the same keyboard that moments before you could have sworn was just like a real pipe organ register.

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GCHQ puts out open recruitment call for 'white hat' hackers

Stevie
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Bah!

So at least someone is hiring IT bods.

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Boffins set to reveal state of play on fully duplex comms - on the same FREQ

Stevie
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Bah!

I'm afraid the jury is out on whether this technology is old, new, innovative or been done before until it has been properly explained in something other than impenetrable science technoblither by Stephen Fry.

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Keurig to drop coffee DRM after boss admits 'we were wrong'

Stevie
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Re: Just make a whole pot of coffee for cripes sake.

Okay. So I miss my train while it is brewing.

And then I have a pot of cold coffee to deal with that night, tasting nicely of the hours it sat cooling on the heat before it timed out.

I think you missed the point of the Keurig: It makes one cup quickly and with minimum fuss and does it in remarkably few operations so you can be doing other stuff at the same time.

Yes it is more expensive, and I know that is a prime driver for your average UK consumer. For me it is catching the train and not having to deal with the leftovers that night.

As for the bloke who prefers instant: well, that's your right and more power to your elbow, but making instant coffee is no faster than doing so with a Keurig coffee maker, indeed, given that the Keurig usually comes with a timer and so is ready to go when I need it, instant would be slower and more labour intensive.

That's what I'm paying for when I opt for a cup of Keurig coffee. The cost is more than covered by the time savings. I wish I had one at work. I used to be part of a coffee-pot cartel but found I was always johnny-on-the-spot when it came to making the next pot, so I dropped out.

The DRM thing was out of order though. Any fool should have been able to see that it would be a non-starter. I'll bet there's already an Arduino-based work-around for that nonsense like there is for that "inexpensive" 3D printer that thinks its an inkjet.

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Cyber-scum deface Nazi concentration camp memorial website

Stevie
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Bah!

This sort of idiocy gives scum (and idiocy) a bad name.

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Spooks: Big-screen upgrade for MI5 agents fails to be a hit job

Stevie
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Bah!

For true art-house cred, directors should be looking to make the definitive 2.5 hour big screen Sandbaggers or small-screen faithful Callan.

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SOD TABLETS, if you want to get anything done travelling get a ... yes, a LAPTOP

Stevie
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Bah!

I'd love to swap my laptop for a tablet but after 5 months of iPad ownership I'm in agreement with the view that while the iPad makes a decent platform on which to consume content, it falls way short of my needs when I get creative. Yes you can shoot videos and write memos but the as-sold software on it runs a poor second to Works (surely a baseline in useability).

Using the iPad for pdf textbook usage, which involves flipping hither and yon and switching between different texts is an exercise in How To Get Really Bad Carpal Tunnel as I try and bend the "multitasking" metaphor to my needs. Would it kill Adobe to add tabs and a flyback button to their iPad app?

Even the music player fights me, presenting the least useful (to me) "Radio" screen as the first choice when it should be able to spot the 80-odd gig of music stored inside the iPad and figure out that that might be the best place to go when I launch the app.

The spreadsheet looks useful right up until one tries to use it, when it displays some distinctly useless features such as not displaying a stored calculation when the cell pointer is placed over it so the bloody thing can be edited.

The only app I've bought that has not had buggy performance or stupid unswitchoffable design naffery is Skyguide, a rather nifty planisphere on steroids.

And while I'm on App Naffery:

Please Crom could *someone* add a feature to the Register app to hide the sidebar or make it configurable so accidentally hopping to a different article as I read because my right thumb brushed the screen is a thing of the past? I'm right handed. I hold the device in my right hand as I read. Take a leaf from the BBC World News app and then improve it by making the geometry configurable. I mean, this is supposed to be a haven of tech know-how FFS.

Gah! Where's the Tylenol!

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Stevie
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Re: Uploading 'everything' to iCloud?

" again, a book, just with the weight removed..."

Not a Kindle Fire then.

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Great, we all want 5G mobile broadband. Now just how are we gonna wire it all up?

Stevie
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Bah!

But when Jen showed us The Internet it was wireless.

Someone nip up to Big Ben and check it hasn't been swiped.

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Meet the man who inspired Elon Musk’s fear of the robot uprising

Stevie
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Re: Hmph!

Any AI being gittish can be punished the same way you punish teenagers: Turn off the broadband router.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Indications run in human simulations are that once an adult human level of intelligence is achieved the machine will spend all its time playing D&D, reading obscene manga comics or getting pissed in simulations of English real ale pubs.

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In a galaxy far, far, far away ... Farthest ever star system discovered

Stevie
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Bah!

This is old news.

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iPhone case uses phone's OWN SIGNAL to charge it (forever, presumably)

Stevie
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Bah!

Sometimes, to get things done you gotta work outside the law.

Of Physics.

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Plod wants your PC? Brick it with a USB stick BEFORE they probe it

Stevie
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Bah!

The only downside I can see is that using this technique would undoubtedly undermine any later attempt to deploy the industry standard Asperger's Defense.

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Poseidon's Wake, Naked at the Albert Hall and Farewell Kabul

Stevie
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Bah!

Well, fair enough, Mark, I've not enjoyed everything I've read by Reynolds myself. But why lead off with the fuck bits unless you were going to use them somewhere else in the review?

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Stevie
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Re: I could literally feel myself becoming schizophrenic

Steer clear of PK Dick's work too, then.

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'Not paying for any of that music was probably a mistake. Buh bye!'

Stevie
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Bah!

Can you even read the iWatch screen in bright daylight? I can't read my iPad or iPod screens under such conditions.

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Good luck displacing Windows 7, Microsoft, it's still growing

Stevie
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Bah!

Half my office is yelling about borked computers this week. Seems an upgrade was run. My computer seemed OK so I did some checking.

The "upgrade" was from XP to Win7.

I thought I was the last one to get Win 7.

I had to stamp my foot and hold my breath to get it too, so I should have guessed we still had a lot of XP out there.

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How Groucho Marx lost his voice and found his funny bone

Stevie
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Bah!

The scene in the circus midget's custom train carriage involving cigars almost made me pass out from laughing so hard when I first saw it in '74.

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Bridge, ship 'n' tunnel – the Brunels' hidden Thames trip

Stevie
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Re: Them were the days!

"What is even better, a lot of their stuff is still standing and working."

And, thankfully, no longer exploding.

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Facebook serves up shaved, pierced, tattooed 'butterfly' as CAPTCHA

Stevie
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Re: ???

"People who aren't used to bodymods can get a bit worked up about such things. Leave them to snigger and make faces for a bit, they'll get over it."

Nonono, I love the shaved look and the rings, it's the depiction of the demon that says "keep out".

I reckon for the internet win you'd have to go with the same art composition but use a Gug as the depicted subject.

Or the Mouth of Sauron. That would work too.

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UK exam board wants kids to be able to Google answers

Stevie
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I wasn't a big fan

"One of my friends also managed to give the wrong arguments to tar at the end of the exam and managed to overwrite all his work...."

Damn! If only your friend had had to rote-learn the most useful forms of the tar invocation.

Curse you, inevitable consequences!

Actually, I can never remember that bloody thing myself. Don't use it much. Have to look it up in mi' trusty Unix in a Nutshell when I do.

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Stevie
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write up in Latex

Sorry, that would require rote memorization of how to write LaTex and that is a no-no.

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Stevie
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Re: No, it's just the opposite

"What is important, Google or no Google, is that the students should be able to apply knowledge."

Knowledge implies you know things which in turn means you, at some point, memorized what you know. Otherwise, you don't know it.

So:

At what point does the "open book" thinking examiner draw a line and say "you should be able to call upon this knowledge at will in order to do what we are teaching you to do"?

A physical chemist must have a passing familiarity with the gas laws, various mathematical techniques and so forth. He or she is no bloody use to anyone if those have to be looked up when needed.

And the despised rote learning lets me do arithmetic tricks in a rum, pizza and fag-addled 60 years maltreated brain that my 22 year old believes are damn near miraculous.

Dear me no, let us expunge rote learning of multiplication tables in first grade because they are of no use at all and anyway, you can always use your phone to do the math.

And if anyone thinks that internet access during exams will result in anything other than a tsunami of cut'n'paste plagiarism, well, I have this bridge for sale.

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Stevie
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Bah!

I love the "why memorize, just look it up" mindset that has taken hold of the public education system.

It's a root cause of why no-one under the age of fifty five can make change on demand, and why the bank teller I got into it with a few years back couldn't look at a column of amounts and see from the amounts involved that his calculator-derived result could not possibly be right.

I intervened only a few weeks back when a group of young high school seniors were trying to figure the 15% tip on a four person bill, and were at the stage of realizing that in the whole group, no-one knew how to work the tip calculator app on their late-model iPhones (each senior had one of course). In a place where we have an 8 and a bit percent sales tax there was an easy tip I could give them to prevent the waitress being stiffed, but the fact that not one of them could spitball a 15% tip from a bill submitted in a decimal coinage system quite frankly boggled my mind.

Yes, you can always "look it up" (except when you can't, but we'll not talk about that case because gosh, you have internet everywhere except when you don't and it always has the truth on it except when it doesn't) but there's no comprehension behind that mindset, only the surefire prediction that it won't be too long before we need to cater for people looking up how to look stuff up.

Wait ... isn't that the service Google aspires to be?

Obligatory Wikipedia reference for people to look up:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons

(Provided to ironically illustrate the difference between the actual experience and "looking it up". This note added when I realized no-one under fifty-five would likely get the reference and would assume the Wikipedia entry *was* the experience).

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Stevie
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Re: the toxic sludge pool

To be checking the average comprehension skills, spelling and grammar usage in these very comments and drawing conclusions as to the utility of non-quantitative knowledge assessment techniques in the education of the commenters over the last thirty years, iniquitous soft one!

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Burger me! Microsoft's chainsaw rampage through sacred cow herd

Stevie
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Bah!

Sacré Vache!

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