* Posts by Stevie

3068 posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

When THINGS attack! Defending data centres from IoT device-krieg

Stevie
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Bah!

All your lightbulb are belong to fridge.

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

Stevie
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Re: I found the IT crowd's porn stash

No argument about the inappropriateness of what you found and much kudos for the way you dealt with it, but since when did beach bikini and lingerie photos become "soft-core porn"?

When I were a lad, that label was stuck on "Emmanuelle" and similar fare.

I never asked what it was stuck on with, of course.

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Licence to chill: Ex-CIA spyboss Petraeus gets probation for leaking US secrets to his mistress

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There are significant differences

Yes. A general should be under no illusion as to where his loyalties lie.

I'm not excusing what Manning did. I just don't believe we should do so for the good General - who, of all people in that theater of war, should have understood the possible consequences of his actions.

How come he isn't cooling his heels in a cell?

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Stevie
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Bah!

Seems fair.

After all Petraeus is a general and a red-blooded hetero one at that, one of "the lads", and Manning is a private who had a yucky sex-change and now wants to be called "Chelsea" instead of his real, God-given name.

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Apple Watch: Exactly how many vids does it take to teach a fanboi to tell the time?

Stevie
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Re: Bloody Casio never did create a video explaining how to use their watch

John Brown (no body) doesn't RTFM? After they went to the trouble of packing such a big one with the watch?

Shame, sir!

Took me, old mainframe know-nothing fit-for-the-human-scrap-heap idiot all of ten minutes to get it unpacked, synch'ed to NYC timezone and running on the Steviewrist.

The old PAG40 had a better display (which could be read from the ISS I reckon), the compass was less flaky in the presence of electric fields and the backlight was brighter, but changing the batteries every three years was a pain and eventually resulted in damage.

The PAG240's solar cells have gone from a medium charge on unpacking to full charge during everyday wear.

Admittedly, it can't do the internet, but then, that's why we have smartphones and tablets. But it will tell me the time without need for a wall socket until the solar cells go nails-up.

And I can get it very wet indeed without the need to visit an iStore to see if I can beg them for a replacement under warranty.

And it looks 21st century awesome, not like it should be adorning the wrist of Roger Moore as he takes on Count Saruman in The Man With The Golden Watch.

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Stevie
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Bah!

How to tell the time on a Casio PAG 240:

Look at it.

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MASSIVE FAIL: Indian gov DOXXES net neutrality campaigners

Stevie
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Bah!

And the best part is that if India follows and extends New York State's practice of overriding caller ID and auto callback on Government Departments Phones (because callers are agents of the governmental will and not individuals, though if they leave a message on your answering machine it sort of presupposes they want to talk with you eventually so why make it hard FFS?) there will be no way of tracing whoever made the dump and so ... India Becomes Wikileaks.

Interestingly, the details divulged by the leak are about as interesting as the actual Wikileak about how Ben Afleck was reluctant to have it known that his great-something Grandfather owned slaves.

This Means Something.

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Unisys looks to ‘streamline’ as losses increase, sales fall

Stevie
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Re: Bah!

C? Yes. For decades. But why would you want to write in C if you have other options?

As for TCP/IP that is the job of the DCP, not the mainframe.

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Stevie
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Bah!

If you walked into a mainframe computer showroom you would buy the Unisys Clearpath mainframe - it's lovely, it's elegant, it's beautiful. It is quite simply the best.

And Britain should have the best. In the world of the mainframe computer it is the Saville Row suit, the Rolls Royce Corniche, the Château Lafitte 1945. It is the mainframe computer Harrods would sell you.

What more can I say?

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Synths you've been gone: Vintage tech rules at Musikmesse 2015

Stevie
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Bah!

Recently underwent extreme trauma when I found my otherwise pristine SH101 had developed a scratchy pot after sitting years in storage. I've got an MC202 too.

My best man's brother was an early adopter. When I told him what his mint condition DX7 might be worth after seeing a beat-up one in a Guitar Center, he almost coughed out his teeth.

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Top Spanish minister shows citizens are thick as tortillas de ballenas

Stevie
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Bah!

These same figures were recently quoted for the USA, though, maddeningly, I cannot remember where.

I suspect some ecological data recycling is going on.

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Apple Watch RIPPED APART, its GUTS EXPOSED to hungry Vultures

Stevie
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Bah!

The most important question for me: Canya gerrit wet wi'yout it poppin' its clogs?

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US judge lobs antivirus patents back to Hell

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Re: Judge Stark.

Judge Stark is awesome and so is his name. Totally suited to zooming around on an unfeasible flying motorbike in a daft full face helmet to deal out summary execution for stopping in a box junction.

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UK rail signals could be hacked to cause crashes, claims prof

Stevie
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Bah!

a hack attack might potentially cause trains to move too quickly.

Or indeed, at all.

I think the British Railway Commuter is safe. Studies show the train drivers rarely look at the signals anyway.

Though we probably need a new incident code: SPAWTF

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SUPERVOLCANIC MAGMA reservoir BUBBLING under Yellowstone Park

Stevie
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Bah!

Scientists believe the results of such an event would only be clear after the dust had settled

By which time there's no-one left to notice.

Stupid "scientists".

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Fukushima nuke plant owner told to upgrade from Windows XP

Stevie
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Re: Fascinating, Lost all faith...

By this logic one could make a better case that the disaster was caused by all the gravity around of late.

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Stevie
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Re: the cause was an undersea megathrust earthquake.

Nonsense! I have proof, unassailable proof, that this accident was caused by the Big Bang.

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'Aaron's Law' back on the table to bring sanity to US hacking laws

Stevie
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Bah!

... draw a distinction between hacking and unauthorized access.

Good luck with that given that often that distinction isn't clear in the heads of those who do it.

I'm beginning to see the intransigence of the prosecutors in the Aaron Swartz affair as a symptom of a much broader malaise loose in the justice system(s) of he country.

The recent higher profile of cases involving over-zealous police at work are another, even if one allows for "press hysteria" bending the perceptions of what is going on.

Most worrying is when one considers the privatization of prison systems incentivizing harsher penalties and treatment while incarcerated, and the over-reaching of the law enforcement forces that has gone on under the umbrella of anti-terrorism laws as behavior that would previously have been harshly criticized (if not illegal) is instead tolerated "for the public good" (the recent ukfup involving the FBI in Las Vegas being the most egregious example I can think of in recent times).

No, I don't have a fix, but as John Oliver would say "This is a conversation we need to have as a nation".

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Facebook, Google execs cough to their biggest privacy blunders

Stevie
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I am not a product, I am not a number, I am a free man.

There's a large weather balloon at the front door. Wants to speak to "Keef" about something.

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SEX: Naughty female stegosauruses offered it on a PLATE

Stevie
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4 ratfox

So I guess when, in the far distant future, archeologists come across these dinoboffins' ruined quarters containing the puzzling stegosaurus bits their most apposite comment will be "holy fuck!"

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Cash register maker used same password – 166816 – non-stop since 1990

Stevie
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Bah!

Outstanding.

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FBI alert: Get these motherf'king hackers off this motherf'king plane

Stevie
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Bah!

Chris Roberts was a twit for sending that message. Security people have no sense of humor and this "joke" wasn't particularly funny to start with.

Airliner manufacturers are twits for making the plane control gubbins be on the same network as the passengers.

And the way to stop armed hijackers invading the cockpit is to not have access from the cabin to the cockpit in the first place.

Why are any of these hard to understand?

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Love-rat fanboi left bobbing for Apples in tiny Japanese bath

Stevie
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Bah!

How do you pronounce the thing that looks like a shed with an owl on the roof?

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The huge flaw in Moore’s Law? It's NOT a law after all

Stevie
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Bah!

You can't make a statement about the course of action which the article is concerned with being started "in anger at" someone or something then not mention it again!

Either explain or take out the temper reference.

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Google pulls plug on YouTube for older iPads, iPhones, smart TVs

Stevie
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Bah!

Although I have watched YouTube on my new smart TV, I don't do so with any sort of regularity on account of that's not why I bought the TV.

I have cable for HBO, though it is turning into the 12-hours-of-boxing-then-12-hours-of-Game-of-Thrones network and so decreasingly relevant in my viewing preferences, Netflix for most things I actually want to watch (UK series without adverts thank you very much BBC America, almost-new movies, foreign movies etc) and cable for The Daily Show and New Tricks.

I imagine that if a new API means a new app, the network that supplies the apps for my TV will probably address that. If they don't, well, pfft. I've yet to see anything on YouTube that warrants a big screen or lives up to the visual real-estate (though I'll cut that Polish Spiderdog bloke some slack).

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Philip Glass tells all and Lovelace and Babbage get the comic novel treatment

Stevie
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Re: his [locomotive] designs were crap

I fear you have confused the Great Man with one Francis Webb.

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Stevie
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You might as well argue Brunel

...was a failure because his broad gauge was eventually reduced.

Brunel, like all engineers working at the bleeding edge, had many, many failures in his lifetime, and his vision could not only be strangely limited, but tunneled to the nth degree.

The broad gauge issue is a case in point.

Brunel's broad gauge had many advantages, chief of which was a much smoother ride than the standard gauge railways of the day, but it was more expensive to build and maintain than standard gauge railways were and could not be integrated smoothly into the national rail network, already established and growing apace and almost universally standard gauge.

For a man who understood so much, his attitude to broad gauge and the huge national public stink the "break in gauge" issue generated is a genuine puzzlement. Money was poured into the broad gauge rail system even when it was obvious to everyone that it could not survive.

Another gotcha in the GWR that should have been obvious as Bad Design from the get-go: a semaphore signal protocol that declared that horizontal means caution (or stop) and pointing downward means go. Everyone else realized that in the event of a broken actuator, gravity would be working in the cause of rail safety. Brunel's design called for counterweights to be added to make it all work the same way. More expensive, more complex, less failsafe (because there's ways the weights can fail too).

Brunel was a great man, but he was wrong a lot.

And the Broad Gauge was a gorgeous, magnificent, inspiring failure.

And I say this as a lifelong fan of God's Wonderful Railway and the people who built it.

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Mortgage data splashed all over the net. Thanks HSBC Finance

Stevie
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The problem is that the penalties

... for these kind of screw ups are too lenient.

I totally agree.

However, your solution lacks practicality. I would suggests a "No bonuses for anyone" uckfup clause in the terms of employment. The bank squirts all over the web or lets someone in who does, the three-letter brigade go cap in hand that year with only their meager wages to survive on.

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Stevie
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Bah!

Again?

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Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

Stevie
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Bah!

No-one gives a flying f*ck about the "heavy cratering". Tell us about the shiny!

Tch! "Scientists".

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Flying giant octopus menaces New York

Stevie
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Bah!

Bravo New Statesman for making this tedious issue clearer, and Bravo The Register for correcting the vertical measurement blunder and defining a new era in clarity.

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DWARF PLANET Ceres beams back SUNNY north pole FROWN

Stevie
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Bah!

The picture is clearly showing the glowing radioactive remains of Starbug after some spectacular landing.

That's what you get when you let vending machine mechanics mess with time travel and shuttle piloting.

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Apple will cut down 36,000 acres of forest in 'conservation scheme'

Stevie
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Bah!

"conservation easements"

Appletalk for "we bought our way round the law".

Well, it's the American Way.

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High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

Stevie
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Bah

Perhaps it the press were to apply somewhat less heroic names to the substances it would help the fight to prevent people ingesting these things?

Suppose we change the intriguing term "bath salts", no doubt the correct street term for the would be buyer, to something like "fucktard powder"? Does the product still sound as attractive as it did before?

Besides, it is more descriptive of the effects. I urge The Register to lead the way in the crusade to tell it like it is drugs-wise.

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The data centre design that lets you cool down – and save electrons

Stevie
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Bah!

Vent the hot air instead of cooling it back down. For those unobviously challenged, vent it upwards, through the roof.

Filter fresh air at ambient temperature into the cooling infrastructure. For the same crowd, don't build your inlets next to your roof vents.

And build your data centers somewhere cold to start with.

100% passive is too much to ask, but using passive techniques to lower the avoidable energy usage shouldn't be.

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Scouts' downed Compass database won't be back 'til autumn

Stevie
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Bah!

No database?

Gad! What a kick in the ging-gang-goolies.

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Stateside security screeners sacked for squeezing 'sexy' sacks

Stevie
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Bah!

Hmm, mis-use of the scanning equipment by "fully trained" and "properly screened" airport "security" personnel?

Fair enough. No-one could have seen that coming.

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National Grid's new designer pylon is 'too white and boring' – Pylon Appreciation Society

Stevie
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Bah!

Shorter, eh? Short enough for those people who point fluorescent tubes at the wires to make some sort of treehugger point might actually touch the wires?

I would have thought the lattice design was easier to put up on England's green and rolling hills but that's just me.

No doubt the country will look spiffy with its new infestation of Bang and Olufson pylons.

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RADIOACTIVE WWII aircraft carrier FOUND OFF CALIFORNIA

Stevie
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Re: That's it...

This James Delgado's got a great job, consisting of:

1. A Government department sinks something in the Pacific, without recording where they did it.

2. A period of time later a different Government department declares that these vessels are historic.

3. James Delgado and his chums get a nice big boat with lots of toys to play with for a period of time, in order to find these self declared 'historic' relics.

What is the point?

Am I being just a wee bit too cynical.....

Well, apart from the messing about in boats thing, and the order of the step in which the government declares something valuable, this is pretty much a definition of how archeology works in general.

You could ask the time-wasters who dug up the 9th century cathedral in Coventry recently what the point is. I mean, they already had two that weren't in deep holes. One is a bit smashed up but the other is in good repair.

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Stevie
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Re: That's it...(4 Just Enough)

So to be clear here, they "found" this ship exactly where they left it. Nice bit of 3D sonar, but not exactly a stunning "find".

Spoken like a man who's never tried to find a wreck from an old pre-GPS chart position.

Also, wrecks don't sink vertically. They tend to travel around a bit before touching down if there's room.

I fear modern technology is blinding you to the achievement.

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Stevie
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Anything that needs nuking TWICE is seriously badass

Nuked twice and still floating. Took a licking and kept on ticking (when you pointed a Geiger Counter at it).

Super-serious badass.

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Stevie
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Re: In California? Maybe

Resting on a different continental plate so not California.

I have spoken.

Next up: World Peace, followed by How To Play The Flute.

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US Navy robot war-jet refuels in air: But Mav and Iceman are going down fighting

Stevie
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Bah!

While conceding that the authors have years of experience at the pointy end of military actions and equipment, soldiers to carry out same, I can't help remembering when people speak of this or that technology making human participation unnecessary how various technologies were going to make the infantryman obsolete in almost every decade I've lived through (five point nine so far), and yet thousands of boots hit the dirt every time we go to war.

Could a remotely piloted drone really dogfight a human-in-the-cockpit opponent? It sounds a bit far-fetched. But then, so would have carrying around a roomful of transistors on my wrist when I was born.

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The Internet of things is great until it blows up your house

Stevie
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Bah!

We need a solution that provides security ...

We need something difficult to attack, ...

So remind me, why am I connecting my oven to the internet again? Because "the perfect bake" isn't going to come from doing so no matter what the wet dreams of some IT twonk think. Ask them wot does it for a living. To make baking a hands/eyes off affair, you need sensors in the food item and feedback to the oven itself and there go your cost estimates.

And as for ruining your clothes with an iron, that can only happen when you set it too hot, not when you set it "wrong". People have been Duin It Rite for decades with only a rheostat and a pair of eyes. I don't see how making the iron smarter than the person using it helps anyone. I mean, look how that worked out with phones ...

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Amazon CTO destealths to throw light on AWS data centre design

Stevie
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Bah!

"There am many things in a traditional server environment that puzzles me."

Fixed it for him.

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It's 2015 and a RICH TEXT FILE or a HTTP request can own your Windows machine

Stevie
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Bah!

Yes, I know about the Adobe update because the bloody thing flatlined my already glacially slow personal hotspotty internet connection while I was trying to kick into the latest Schlock Mercenary venture and download some things into mi'Raspberry Pi2.

Yet another chance for McAffee to attempt to smuggle their crappy anti-virus program onto my lappy and for yet another mysterious appearance of the unwanted, unasked-for Ask Toolbar.

And why does a security update necessitate re-agreeing to the ToC? Shouldn't some sort of carry-through be assumed from the fact that one has a vulnerability-riddled copy of the said software on the computer already (else why update)?

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Dwarf planet Ceres has TEN bright spots, astroboffins say

Stevie
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Ceres has ten bright spots

Hmm, exactly ten more than my usual working day.

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Apple splats Safari flaw affecting a BEELLION iThings

Stevie
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Bah!

No so much a vulnerability since all the affected iPhones are pre-now versions and by definition unused by real fans, and does anyone use Safari on windows?

I have Safari on my iPad2 and I pretty much consider the combination the best argument for never using the world wide web I've personally encountered.

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Easy ... easy ... Aw CRAP! SpaceX rocket ALMOST lands on ocean hoverbase

Stevie
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Bah!

Looking good ...left hand down a bit ... left hand ... left ... LEFT ... YOUR LEFT AAARRRGGGHHH!

Oh this takes me back to so many projects of my youth. Oh the happy days spent planning and building. Oh the happy nights in the Coventry and Warwick Casualty Waiting Room.

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Why are enterprises being irresistibly drawn towards SSDs?

Stevie
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Bah!

Interesting overview.

My own experience with various overpriced vendor-specific spinners is that the mechanical components, the moving parts, are the most reliable part of a modern disc drive. By far the majority of failures I see are in the support electronics.

I speculate, after talking to the pater who was in the electronics biz for decades, that the problem is all-but dry joints in the circuit boards from new. Surface mounts should have made these a thing of the past, but I've had a board in my trembling hand where the failure was honest-to-gosh rust under a terminal that wasn't soldered at all, just held down by pressure maintained by the other connection that was soldered, so I don't know.

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