85 posts • joined 6 Jun 2008
Now watch the movie
OK, it's a spoof but it sounds far better than Avatar.
You were just a whisker away from quoting one of the best sketches from C4's Absolutely.
"doltishness has no value in our canon"
You sir, have single-handedly raised The Reg's literary credibility by a tittle. Mayhaps a jot.
How do i get my money back?
Oh, I don't. Well that's deeply reassuring.
This young woman should be applauded
She just should.
Seriously, if we are going to be bashing someone for being out of touch we should also look at the surveys in Britain that show a large minority of people think women who have been raped were partly responsible because they wore revealing clothes. Still, go on feel superior.
then restrict personal liberties. Bait and switch, bait and switch. Nobody ever lost a vote that way and I'm not even wearing a tinfoil hat. OK. I am but that's the only way I can get a live feed from Fox News into my brane.
a picture of Cardinal Sean Brady to defuse the situation.
Well they would, wouldn't they?
Getting employers to agree to employment legislation is like getting turkeys to vote for Xmas.Try running a company with no employees and see how far that gets you.
Cunningly ignoring the hundreds of kids who die because the US doesn't provide decent medical care for poor people. When inner city areas in the world's greatest democracy have higher still-birth rates than some African countries you know that something reeks.
It used to be nigh on impossible to sell pork from animals fed on acorns because the flesh is a nasty black colour. Acorns are about the cheapest type of pig feed you could get. The only way they could top this leg of ham is to sell one from pigs fed exclusively on rats.
A food connoisseur is just a wallet with a few brain cells attached.
Oh grow up!
Yet another manifestation of the western male's complete inability to progress beyond the age of 14. And the books were crap.
Stick on a Hawkwind album and have a wank about your friend's Mum while you're there.
less partisan yack from all parties involved please.
Was he channelling John Lennon or just pressing record?
a jail sentence for pissing on a war memorial be the best invention. After all, there is no such crime no matter how many Daily Mail readers have aneurysms including the fuckwit judge.
What a bunch of...
neu-rural English fascists. Looks like a bunch of "I bought an overpriced, dingy retirement dwelling" types met their match with another nutter who can actually type stuff into the internets. Why don't some gypsies move into the bottom meadow and give them something they can really seethe over? Guy, the golf club secretary, could show them anti-human mines he used to sell to the Iraqis before he was prosecuted and they can plan their NIMBY paradise over a traditional Sunday lunch of duck cassoulet with a Château Lynch Bages Medoc.
2 faced moaning git
Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke could tell him a thing or two about being financially screwed by unscrupulous cash hounds.
Evil? Yep but not for this reason
AP, UP and Reuters bounce around speculative stories which are then published as facts for a couple of days until the truth comes out. No one apologises or prints retractions and the general public only remembers the original story.
Any news organisation which doesn't do its own fact checking and depends on repeating gossip deserves to fail.
Barclay's online banking worked before the Labour bailout. OK we still have a bank but I'd rather have a bankrupt bank with a working website which showed my savings were worth nothing.
Gary McKinnon is either guilty or innocent. We won't know which until he is tried. If the court find him guilty they can take his personal circumstances into account. Where's the injustice?
Yesterday we were told a wonderful, loving granny has been convicted to 8 years by another cruel, undemocratic, justice system - the French. She was smuggling drugs and freely admitted it.
These aren't stories about justice, just small-minded British prejudice.
The myth of the architect
Yet another "genius" architect who knew nothing about his materials. As a piece of failed design it should be pulled down. You could rebuild it properly 5 times over for that money.
Damn those scallywags
and their close cousins, the ne'er do wells. It's only a matter of time before we have to put up with the scourge of society, scientists.
What about UKIP?
I haz no policy - except xenophobia and Thatcherism.
How about a game
where you shoot abortionists in churches to show your love for Jesus and how much you respect human life.
I misread this
and got "According to Tesla, the problem was discovered after a routine urine analysis", which makes more sense from a manufacturing point of view.
I fail to see the difference...
between this and the steaming piles of kack that the US majors release. "X-Men Origins - Wolverine" - didn't Napoleon Dynamite kill him in Alaska because he was attacking his cousins?
Paris because all she needs is a good part to produce an amazing performance.
How well did they do against...
the food party and the shelter party. My understanding of primitive drives says that the "kill anyone who doesn't fit in" party should win every time (AKA UKIP and Republicans). I want to vote using the conscious part of brain and a spoiled ballot seems the only choice.
I remember a story on page three about a woman who may (or more likely, may not) have flashed at her neighbour. According to the Sun she said "look at my t*ts". The asterisk was theirs not mine. What a shower of hypocritical shit. So let's applaud a random act of censorship for getting it right for once. It was bound to happen some time.
If the Weimar Republic taught us anything it's not to vote for a nationalist party when things get tough economically (especially when the nation is actually "Engerland" not the whole of the UK).
Maybe God did it
He gets cranky every time the anniversary of his son's death comes around
Channel 4 news says...
Conficker could attack well known sites or it could do nothing.
Thanks guys, my gran says it might kill her cat or send an endless stream of Portuguese gigolos round to her house.
The Lou Reed principle
as in "I'm just the water boy, the real game's not over here". It ignores the fact that people have far more choices in other areas. It seems kind of dim to assume that if you are good at science/maths you only have intelligence related to those fields and have no other choices. Take a look at the wider world and the real question is why women are more attracted to other disciplines.
Come on Reg, when did you turn into Newspeak hacks? The guy was conned. Even geeks get conned.
internet censorship only applies...
... if there's a 100,000-1 chance it could f*ck up YOUR computer
I presume these guardians of our safety went through a huge number of legally acceptable steps to close down these sites
Double standards only apply to people with double standards.
All you need to do now...
is expose everyone who, for reasons I'll never understand, skew things to reflect US political, social, economic and religious biases.
Good luck guys.
Why pick on Google Streetview?
You can see her arse on Google Earth.
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In "The Last Temptation of Christ"...
Christ was seen using what looks like an Amiga 3000 to hack into the Roman Nexus-Overlord computer. The movie was made in 1988 but the Amiga 3000 wasn't released until 1990. I'm confused.
Is she fulfilling the role of that kindly old lady your Mum sat you beside when you got a bus ride on your own when you were ten? I'm guessing yes.
Paris because her plastic surgery is less likely to perish during sex (just).
Free Kevin Coghill
... with every unit sold.
Come on! That's funny. My Grandad's a GNR fan and he agrees.
That's how to commemorate the war dead
Here in the UK we just had a few 108 year olds breaking down in tears because the memory is still so painful. Diff'rent strokes I guess.
By my aluminium foil helmet
... I WILL BE AVENGED. I'm also wheat intolerant. I feel slightly more bloated when I eat wheat than when I take regular exercise, which I rarely do as I'm trapped in a radiation field - BY SCIENCE!!!
Just get a mongrel
and tattoo "Republicans, this is what your face looked like on November the 4th" on its arse.
Is there such a thing? The airwaves can only hold so much information before they fall to earth and flop about like a Glaswegian man on incapacity benefit.
Leave it to The Onion
Thanks Pete James
Lucky your brother didn't work in Africa. You would be in serious danger of being called a generalising, intolerant, moronic racist. As it stands you're just promoting democracy. Yay!!!
Paris cos even she knows better.
Nice place for the competition
400 metres from power pylons. It doesn't take a rocket scientist.....
My garage cost £120,000,000,000
When you factor in the real costs. 3000 years of agriculture, 2000 years of written knowledge/education , the London flood defences, the cost of two world wars, £800 to a guy called Jerczy. It all adds up.
sums it all up.
Operator? Get me Jesus on the line..
..sorry, I meant Muhammad, and no cheeky western tricks.
Site "outed" earlier this week, arrests today
So forensic examiners are going to be looking at a surprising number of new hard drives.
What a cock-up, the mice will be furious.
- Mounties get their man: Heartbleed hacker suspect, 19, CUFFED
- Batten down the hatches, Ubuntu 14.04 LTS due in TWO DAYS
- Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS
- Feast your PUNY eyes on highest resolution phone display EVER
- Wall St's DROOLING as Twitter GULPS DOWN analytics firm Gnip