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* Posts by Ben Bonsall

80 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

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Comcast bosses: THAT pushy sales rep was only obeying orders

Ben Bonsall

Cancel in writing by registered letter... probably cheaper than the call too :)

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

Ben Bonsall

I read this article, what happened next will AMAZE you!

I didn't share it on social media! Because while I found it interesting and amusing, I wouldn't presume that anyone else would, and if they would they would probably have already seen it

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Rockall pod-dweller Hancock beats solo occupation record

Ben Bonsall

Re: Meh

Doing rock-all, surely?

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Ben Bonsall

Nam Craic!

Because LOHAN will do anything etc etc.

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Gotham

If they are officially employed, can they really be described as vigilante?

WANTED: Security Guard for road sign. Must have own cape.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

Ben Bonsall

Re: anti-sex morality groups

By dividing down the middle?

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New Bluetooth tech lets you control 4 BILLION lightbulbs at once

Ben Bonsall

Solar panel -> 12v Battery -> 12v bus

Works fine for caravans and boats. Only need a backup charger in case of emergencies like 6 weeks of rain. Or an English summer.

Next time I wire our house there will be some kind of 12v and balanced serial bus cabling installed so lighting, sensors and switching need no batteries or wireless between themselves, and the MCP can live on a computer in the house with no access to the internet.

Could even have a 12v fridge freezer so the smart meter brigade can't turn it off :)

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Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

Ben Bonsall

Re: The next step...

lol, I just had the highly amusing mental image of helplessly kicking legs as he was fed into a giant pencil sharpener...

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ANGRY ALIENS hit by BEBO SPAMGASM probably don't exist

Ben Bonsall

Re: I felt a great disturbance in the Force,

Really? It sounded as if a hundred thousand people had said "wop'' to me.

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'Disruptive innovation' is nonsense? Not ALWAYS, actually

Ben Bonsall

Surely an autonomous car would be spying on it's own driving habits?

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And now for someone completely brilliant: Stephen Hawking to join Monty Python on stage

Ben Bonsall

Tickets like 0.92g of gold dust at current price, if they're 100gsm copier paper and around 7cm * 15cm, that sounds about right...

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

Ben Bonsall

Slammerzon direct...

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FAA shoots down delivery by drone plans

Ben Bonsall

I believe the FAA only regulates military air traffic when it is using civilian infrastructure, so not when they are killing brown people. Also, this notice relates to model aircraft- at 48ft wingspan, predator drones are probably not classified as models...

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Bankrupt Bitcoin blunder bunker MtGox finds a friend to fend off out-of-pocket investors

Ben Bonsall

Re: "Gonzague Gay-Bouchery"

Not to mention, illegal in many jurisdictions.

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Flying cars, submarine cars – Elon Musk says NOTHING is beyond him

Ben Bonsall

"We will be making a submarine car. It can transition from being a submarine to a car that drives up on the beach," Musk said. Though he added, "Maybe we'll make two or three, but it wouldn't be more than that. It's not like we'd sell it, because I think the market for submarine cars is quite small."

But, as the market is people with private islands and drug dealers, the profit is probably quite large...

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Google reaches into own silicon brain to slash electricity bill

Ben Bonsall

god awful lame acronym chosen through invoking creative apathy.

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DARPA crazytech crew want to create HUMAN-FREE cyber defence systems

Ben Bonsall

Mental note: Don't hack next to the giant scanning and molecular disassembly laser, I was always crap at light cycles.

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Feds hunt 30-year-old alleged to be lord of Gameover botnet

Ben Bonsall

Re: lock him in

Why bother with a door? Implies you might want to open it again...

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Ben Bonsall

Re: TRAITORS

Re: hanged/hung, there's really no difference, they've always been used interchangably.

But I believe mobs 'lynch' :)

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Facebook wants MORE EXPLICIT SHARING

Ben Bonsall

Re: Sharing Absurdities

"Handcream? It could be so much worse."

ie. superglue?

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Waterfront flats plan for IBM's UK HQ as housing market goes bananas

Ben Bonsall

Heh, 20 years ago I did work experience in that office... Writing BI rules for an as/400, and after hours, a mouse-move-to-plotter-pen driver for OS2 :)

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Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

Ben Bonsall

Re: Who ate all the pies?

Knifewrench! Practical and safe!

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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Ben Bonsall

Re: Gaelic

Pretty sure they retracted that as it was bollocks.

Mecano came in sets called A, B, C etc...

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Ben Bonsall

Re: And when the Greens get pissy...

Correction:

...then push them over the side, into the *water infested with radioactive sharks*. .

:)

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Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

Ben Bonsall

FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

- Learn this valuable skill and get ahead in your career!

- 90% of people in your field could benefit from this course, be ahead of the TREND!

- Our online lemon see-sawing courses will teach you the SECRETS that professional Lemon See-sawers DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!

We also offer courses in other valuable skills of high-performing people:

- Yougurt Weaving

- Basket Casing

- Full Metal Jacketing

*Offer applicable to first 100 applicants to yesterday's webcast

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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

Ben Bonsall

Re: Did I miss something?

Who is Oscar Selfie, indeed, who are Oscar Selfies, if there are enough to refer to one of them as THAT Oscar Selfie?

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Ben Bonsall

Re: Wow

Nope. Mainland Europe. Lunch is important here.

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Ben Bonsall

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch, as I've just made some very odd noises trying not to laugh at these comments. +1s for all!

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Hey, Glasshole: That cool app? It has turned you into a SPY DRONE

Ben Bonsall

"...mobile security firm Lookout showed how it might be possible to install malware or snooping on data feeds by tricking a user into simply looking at malicious QR codes."

Cool, snowcrash here we come...

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Ben Bonsall

Re: IT angle?

I think it was more of a tIT angle.

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Star Wars movie to start shooting in UK this summer

Ben Bonsall

Re: As much as I loved Star wars

Indeed. There's still five and a half Dune books to do before they need to invent some more star wars...

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Previously stable Greenland glaciers now rushing to the sea

Ben Bonsall

Re: On-going Research

a cube of floating ice displaces the same volume of water as the water that made up the ice. so as it melts, the level shouldn't change. If it dropped, it was probably due to it (and the researcher) ending up drunk.

Try the same experiment, only support the ice on matchsticks above the glass... the glass soon overflows. (assuming of course, that nothing ends up drunk.)

Out-gassing of dissolved co2 in the tonic would also cause a small decreasing in volume...

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Wackadoo DIYers scissor-kick beatboxer

Ben Bonsall

Re: "toilet attendant"

Why toilet attendant? The correct term is Bog Troll

Bog Troll (n): A man or woman who sits by the door of a public (or patrons only) toilet facility, offering (for a fee) a range of bad aftershave, soap, or soft bog roll to convenience users too drunk to slip past.

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

Ben Bonsall

Re: Cloth nappies FTW

err, do your guests know you are making them wipe their mouths and hands on used nappies?

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WHOA: Get a load of Asteroid DX110 JUST MISSING planet EARTH

Ben Bonsall

Re: Well, if asteroid time ...

IT seems to be made of best stewing steak... It's meteorite.

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Dark matter killed the dinosaurs, boffins suggest

Ben Bonsall

Re: A paper based on "what if"?????

I'm still waiting for the Finglonger.

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Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base

Ben Bonsall

Re: How to load an airship with celebrities

My first thought on reading that was maybe they've just found the new Big Brother house?

Eviction takes on a whole new and far more interesting meaning...

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LG offers BRAIN-SAVING CANCER-BL... er 'good luck charms'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Glastonbury

I would have thought that headaches and loss of energy are natural side effects of being at Glastonbury... As is coming home with some over priced hippy tat and a band shirt you'd never wear in public.

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Prez Obama cyber-guru: Think your data is safe in an EU cloud? The NSA will raid your servers

Ben Bonsall

Re: Like most crime you can't stop a *really* determined criminal.

"If you're a European Citizen who was telling their mother about what they had for dinner and sending a picture of the cat..." :)

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Brit boffins brew up blight-resistant FRANKENSPUD

Ben Bonsall

Re: nil desperandum gloria aspidistra

"What would happen if you crossed an Irish bog with a bag of carrots or something nonpotatoey?"

You'd get muddy feet either way

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Mathematicians spark debate with 13 GB proof for Erdős problem

Ben Bonsall

Re: I smell snake oil .....

He's working for the NSA, predicting your next SSL key

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Birds Eye releases 'mashtags' social spud snacks

Ben Bonsall

Re: I think a 3-D printer company...

Shredded tweet?

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Leftovers

Assuming no one retrieves them from the recycle bin.

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Without a smartphone your reptile brain gets a workout

Ben Bonsall

If commuting is dull again, buy a newspaper, read a book, do a crossword...

(or get a Nintendo game and watch)

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Tinfoil hats proven useless by eleven-year mobe radiation study

Ben Bonsall

Re: Tin Foil Hats

The wifi there doesn't monitor your thoughts, it adds new ones, like "drink another overpriced cup of brown mud" and "mmm, you are enjoying this brown mud" or "a 5 euro muffin would be nice about now..."

The wifi signal strength is always suspiciously high... possibly to overpower the tinfoil hats.

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Tuesday declared 'The Day we Fight Back' against NSA et al

Ben Bonsall

Re: <sigh>

to share something pre-prepared is to share it before it's ready...

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Ben Bonsall

Re: We can't really march on anything

We want the right to show emotions

Мы хотим, чтобы право показывать эмоции

Rydym am gael yr hawl i ddangos emosiwn

We want the right to show emotions

Google is getting pretty good at this... :)

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Want to remotely control a car? $20 in parts, some oily fingers, and you're in command

Ben Bonsall

Not to mention, once it's there it's quite hard for the driver to get in and not notice something amiss, a *long* time before the car steers itself into a tree and the airbag fails to deploy...

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

Ben Bonsall

Re: What's french for "cobblers"?

Without The Register, my smartphone wouldn't be worth as much to me as it currently is...

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Is Google building SKYNET? Ad kingpin buys AI firm DeepMind

Ben Bonsall

Yes.

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