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* Posts by Ben Bonsall

116 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

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The Nokia ENIGMA THING and its SECRET, TERRIBLE purpose

Ben Bonsall

When you touch it, a small worrying sign lights up saying 'Panic' and it transforms into a bird.

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TORpedo'd dev dumps Doxbin files after police raids

Ben Bonsall

Re: Still wondering why

Do you mind? I am originally from Yorkshire and the people there are...feck it you're right, they are different! :-)

Me too. But not different. Better.

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Caption this: CERN needs pic tags. Serious answers only, kids

Ben Bonsall

The first one looks like solenoid winding.

The second, no idea, but I want one.

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Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future

Ben Bonsall

Both twig and dropping +1

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Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries

Ben Bonsall

Re: Textonym

It should now be two words that Autocorrect can randomly pick when you attempt to type something on a tiny keyboard with fat fingers.

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Zuckerberg bombshell: Man married to Chinese woman speaks Chinese in China

Ben Bonsall

"...and her grandmother only speaks Chinese. When Priscilla and I decided to get married, I told her grandmother using Chinese. She was really shocked"

Probably because he said "I wish to marry your sheep."

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Trips to Mars may be OFF: The SUN has changed in a way we've NEVER SEEN

Ben Bonsall

Re: "The risks are secondary" @Pascal Monett

There's elements of Neil Asher in there too

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It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE

Ben Bonsall

Re: It's Grim Up North

Not to mention Peniston

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Are Eccles Cakes subject to the appellation controlée laws?

Don't forget that most English of products, the Belgian bun. Which no one in Belgium has ever heard of. And generally react with surprise and alarm when shown something named after them.

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SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

Ben Bonsall

CSRFF- Cross Site Request For Funds...

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Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon

Ben Bonsall

Meh, Who has been crap since the last Sylvester McCoy episode. (actually, since just after, the last episodes with Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred were awesome. Or possibly Ace.)

Billie piper was the one redeeming feature of the new Who. Ecclestone was passable. Since then it's been downhill all the way.

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Bored hackers flick Shellshock button to OFF as payloads shrink

Ben Bonsall

love the image file name of the first graph:

fffffferferfffffferferf.jpg

:)

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That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN

Ben Bonsall

Re: "making it about one million years older than the solar system"

Here is the long term weather forecast for the next million years: Changeable, with a high probability of ice ages.

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Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city

Ben Bonsall

Like Anvers? Or Bruxelles? Or Gand?

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Infrastructure

The problem here would be that end users would build a dodgy router that continually say the drop didn't arrive and could it be sent again...

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Ben Bonsall

Hills in Bruges? Not that I've staggered over...

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Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich

Ben Bonsall

Re: How do you know....

If you've ever seen the film 'the million pound note' that's how money works for the rich.

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Intel's SECRET Xeons: tell us what you think Chipzilla's hiding

Ben Bonsall

Fridge Edition - Ultra-high power consumption edition for monitoring when the milk is running low, and blinking a little red light to remind you to buy some. Luckily it comes with a fridge attached for cooling.

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

Ben Bonsall

The trout can spot a fake eel, but can the eel spot a trout mask replica?

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Snooptastic US CELL TOWERS pose man-in-the-middle THREAT

Ben Bonsall

They're spying on me withmy rays!

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Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole

Ben Bonsall

Any plans to get LOHAN somewhere in the vicinity of a pole?

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What a pain in the mass! Euro craft Rosetta to poke its probe in 10-BILLION-tonne comet

Ben Bonsall

Re: Orbit

Apogee: To apologize for a speech impediment

Perigee: 6 letters later than Perrier

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Ben Bonsall

Re: BRASTRAP and...

After it fails to spot something and gets updated, it can be called

Newly Optimized PANTIES

or even

PANTI Extended Location/Evasion/Swerving System

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Ben Bonsall

Beeches, Elm Trees, Tamarisk, Yew - Four Obstacles Requiring Diversions

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Ben Bonsall

Leaf And Branch Incursion Avoidance

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Ben Bonsall

Truss In Tree Will Always Necessitate Krane. :(

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True fact: Hubble telescope spots ZOMBIES in SPACE

Ben Bonsall

Keep reading Iax as Lax... Lax supernovas create zombie star plague

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BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash

Ben Bonsall

Mary had a little lamb,

Now she's doing five years for bestiality.

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Watch this Aussie infosec bod open car doors from afar

Ben Bonsall

Check This! 10 things you never knew Aussies could do from afar!

1) Unlock your car!

2) Fill this jar for you.

3) If the Aussie is Danni Minogue, she can do anything she does from as afar away as possible as far as i'm concerned.

4) Something involving the Arapaho.

5) Err...

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NASA tests crazytech flying saucer thruster, could reach Mars in days

Ben Bonsall

Re: Brass?

" Ion drives (which we all know do actually work) produce nothing more convincing than a slight blue glow, which is barely enough to believe in at all."

All hail the blue glow!

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END your Macbook SHAME: Convert it into a Microsoft SURFACE

Ben Bonsall

"I sympathize. I am personally in that camp. A slightly modified (give me my fucking up button!) "

Personally, I want an un-fucking up button, for when someone fills their PC with crap by clicking ok without reading... Or deletes files with names like system.ini, or finds regedit.exe and thinks it can post edit their Reg posts...

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Plug and PREY: Hackers reprogram USB drives to silently infect PCs

Ben Bonsall

I wonder how long it will take before someone steals a car by plugging in a usb stick...

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FREE PARTY for TEN lucky Australian Reg readers

Ben Bonsall

there's nothing quite like a REG party,

full of folk who are cool and not farty

but this ones in oz

and that's just because

london's full of them types who are arty.

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Ben Bonsall

Consider my amazeballs well and truly toted.

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14 antivirus apps found to have security problems

Ben Bonsall

Re: Point of Issue

Buggerate is the one that gets me. Admittedly, from Urpeons who learned English from American TV.

When I first encountered the use of the verb 'to bugger' instead of 'to bug', I corrected them... But having a senior colleague stick their head in a meeting and ask if they can buggerate someone for five minutes had me banging my head on the table, and said someone replying that the meeting was nearly done and could they bugger them when they were free almost had me on the floor.

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Comcast bosses: THAT pushy sales rep was only obeying orders

Ben Bonsall

Cancel in writing by registered letter... probably cheaper than the call too :)

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

Ben Bonsall

I read this article, what happened next will AMAZE you!

I didn't share it on social media! Because while I found it interesting and amusing, I wouldn't presume that anyone else would, and if they would they would probably have already seen it

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Rockall pod-dweller Hancock beats solo occupation record

Ben Bonsall

Re: Meh

Doing rock-all, surely?

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Ben Bonsall

Nam Craic!

Because LOHAN will do anything etc etc.

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Gotham

If they are officially employed, can they really be described as vigilante?

WANTED: Security Guard for road sign. Must have own cape.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

Ben Bonsall

Re: anti-sex morality groups

By dividing down the middle?

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New Bluetooth tech lets you control 4 BILLION lightbulbs at once

Ben Bonsall

Solar panel -> 12v Battery -> 12v bus

Works fine for caravans and boats. Only need a backup charger in case of emergencies like 6 weeks of rain. Or an English summer.

Next time I wire our house there will be some kind of 12v and balanced serial bus cabling installed so lighting, sensors and switching need no batteries or wireless between themselves, and the MCP can live on a computer in the house with no access to the internet.

Could even have a 12v fridge freezer so the smart meter brigade can't turn it off :)

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Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

Ben Bonsall

Re: The next step...

lol, I just had the highly amusing mental image of helplessly kicking legs as he was fed into a giant pencil sharpener...

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ANGRY ALIENS hit by BEBO SPAMGASM probably don't exist

Ben Bonsall

Re: I felt a great disturbance in the Force,

Really? It sounded as if a hundred thousand people had said "wop'' to me.

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'Disruptive innovation' is nonsense? Not ALWAYS, actually

Ben Bonsall

Surely an autonomous car would be spying on it's own driving habits?

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And now for someone completely brilliant: Stephen Hawking to join Monty Python on stage

Ben Bonsall

Tickets like 0.92g of gold dust at current price, if they're 100gsm copier paper and around 7cm * 15cm, that sounds about right...

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

Ben Bonsall

Slammerzon direct...

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FAA shoots down delivery by drone plans

Ben Bonsall

I believe the FAA only regulates military air traffic when it is using civilian infrastructure, so not when they are killing brown people. Also, this notice relates to model aircraft- at 48ft wingspan, predator drones are probably not classified as models...

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Bankrupt Bitcoin blunder bunker MtGox finds a friend to fend off out-of-pocket investors

Ben Bonsall

Re: "Gonzague Gay-Bouchery"

Not to mention, illegal in many jurisdictions.

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