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* Posts by Ben Bonsall

100 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

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Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich

Ben Bonsall

Re: How do you know....

If you've ever seen the film 'the million pound note' that's how money works for the rich.

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Intel's SECRET Xeons: tell us what you think Chipzilla's hiding

Ben Bonsall

Fridge Edition - Ultra-high power consumption edition for monitoring when the milk is running low, and blinking a little red light to remind you to buy some. Luckily it comes with a fridge attached for cooling.

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

Ben Bonsall

The trout can spot a fake eel, but can the eel spot a trout mask replica?

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Snooptastic US CELL TOWERS pose man-in-the-middle THREAT

Ben Bonsall

They're spying on me withmy rays!

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Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole

Ben Bonsall

Any plans to get LOHAN somewhere in the vicinity of a pole?

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What a pain in the mass! Euro craft Rosetta to poke its probe in 10-BILLION-tonne comet

Ben Bonsall

Re: Orbit

Apogee: To apologize for a speech impediment

Perigee: 6 letters later than Perrier

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

Ben Bonsall

Re: BRASTRAP and...

After it fails to spot something and gets updated, it can be called

Newly Optimized PANTIES

or even

PANTI Extended Location/Evasion/Swerving System

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Ben Bonsall

Beeches, Elm Trees, Tamarisk, Yew - Four Obstacles Requiring Diversions

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Ben Bonsall

Leaf And Branch Incursion Avoidance

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Ben Bonsall

Truss In Tree Will Always Necessitate Krane. :(

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True fact: Hubble telescope spots ZOMBIES in SPACE

Ben Bonsall

Keep reading Iax as Lax... Lax supernovas create zombie star plague

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BAD VIBES: High-speed video camera records your voice from trash

Ben Bonsall

Mary had a little lamb,

Now she's doing five years for bestiality.

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Watch this Aussie infosec bod open car doors from afar

Ben Bonsall

Check This! 10 things you never knew Aussies could do from afar!

1) Unlock your car!

2) Fill this jar for you.

3) If the Aussie is Danni Minogue, she can do anything she does from as afar away as possible as far as i'm concerned.

4) Something involving the Arapaho.

5) Err...

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NASA tests crazytech flying saucer thruster, could reach Mars in days

Ben Bonsall

Re: Brass?

" Ion drives (which we all know do actually work) produce nothing more convincing than a slight blue glow, which is barely enough to believe in at all."

All hail the blue glow!

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END your Macbook SHAME: Convert it into a Microsoft SURFACE

Ben Bonsall

"I sympathize. I am personally in that camp. A slightly modified (give me my fucking up button!) "

Personally, I want an un-fucking up button, for when someone fills their PC with crap by clicking ok without reading... Or deletes files with names like system.ini, or finds regedit.exe and thinks it can post edit their Reg posts...

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Plug and PREY: Hackers reprogram USB drives to silently infect PCs

Ben Bonsall

I wonder how long it will take before someone steals a car by plugging in a usb stick...

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FREE PARTY for TEN lucky Australian Reg readers

Ben Bonsall

there's nothing quite like a REG party,

full of folk who are cool and not farty

but this ones in oz

and that's just because

london's full of them types who are arty.

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Ben Bonsall

Consider my amazeballs well and truly toted.

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14 antivirus apps found to have security problems

Ben Bonsall

Re: Point of Issue

Buggerate is the one that gets me. Admittedly, from Urpeons who learned English from American TV.

When I first encountered the use of the verb 'to bugger' instead of 'to bug', I corrected them... But having a senior colleague stick their head in a meeting and ask if they can buggerate someone for five minutes had me banging my head on the table, and said someone replying that the meeting was nearly done and could they bugger them when they were free almost had me on the floor.

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Comcast bosses: THAT pushy sales rep was only obeying orders

Ben Bonsall

Cancel in writing by registered letter... probably cheaper than the call too :)

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

Ben Bonsall

I read this article, what happened next will AMAZE you!

I didn't share it on social media! Because while I found it interesting and amusing, I wouldn't presume that anyone else would, and if they would they would probably have already seen it

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Rockall pod-dweller Hancock beats solo occupation record

Ben Bonsall

Re: Meh

Doing rock-all, surely?

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LOHAN seeks stirring motto for spaceplane mission patch

Ben Bonsall

Nam Craic!

Because LOHAN will do anything etc etc.

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Gotham

If they are officially employed, can they really be described as vigilante?

WANTED: Security Guard for road sign. Must have own cape.

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Google went behind our backs and really HURT US, squeal upset porn kingpins

Ben Bonsall

Re: anti-sex morality groups

By dividing down the middle?

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New Bluetooth tech lets you control 4 BILLION lightbulbs at once

Ben Bonsall

Solar panel -> 12v Battery -> 12v bus

Works fine for caravans and boats. Only need a backup charger in case of emergencies like 6 weeks of rain. Or an English summer.

Next time I wire our house there will be some kind of 12v and balanced serial bus cabling installed so lighting, sensors and switching need no batteries or wireless between themselves, and the MCP can live on a computer in the house with no access to the internet.

Could even have a 12v fridge freezer so the smart meter brigade can't turn it off :)

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Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

Ben Bonsall

Re: The next step...

lol, I just had the highly amusing mental image of helplessly kicking legs as he was fed into a giant pencil sharpener...

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ANGRY ALIENS hit by BEBO SPAMGASM probably don't exist

Ben Bonsall

Re: I felt a great disturbance in the Force,

Really? It sounded as if a hundred thousand people had said "wop'' to me.

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'Disruptive innovation' is nonsense? Not ALWAYS, actually

Ben Bonsall

Surely an autonomous car would be spying on it's own driving habits?

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And now for someone completely brilliant: Stephen Hawking to join Monty Python on stage

Ben Bonsall

Tickets like 0.92g of gold dust at current price, if they're 100gsm copier paper and around 7cm * 15cm, that sounds about right...

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Drone's drug airdrop mission ends in failure for Irish prisoners

Ben Bonsall

Slammerzon direct...

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FAA shoots down delivery by drone plans

Ben Bonsall

I believe the FAA only regulates military air traffic when it is using civilian infrastructure, so not when they are killing brown people. Also, this notice relates to model aircraft- at 48ft wingspan, predator drones are probably not classified as models...

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Bankrupt Bitcoin blunder bunker MtGox finds a friend to fend off out-of-pocket investors

Ben Bonsall

Re: "Gonzague Gay-Bouchery"

Not to mention, illegal in many jurisdictions.

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Flying cars, submarine cars – Elon Musk says NOTHING is beyond him

Ben Bonsall

"We will be making a submarine car. It can transition from being a submarine to a car that drives up on the beach," Musk said. Though he added, "Maybe we'll make two or three, but it wouldn't be more than that. It's not like we'd sell it, because I think the market for submarine cars is quite small."

But, as the market is people with private islands and drug dealers, the profit is probably quite large...

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Google reaches into own silicon brain to slash electricity bill

Ben Bonsall

god awful lame acronym chosen through invoking creative apathy.

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DARPA crazytech crew want to create HUMAN-FREE cyber defence systems

Ben Bonsall

Mental note: Don't hack next to the giant scanning and molecular disassembly laser, I was always crap at light cycles.

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Feds hunt 30-year-old alleged to be lord of Gameover botnet

Ben Bonsall

Re: lock him in

Why bother with a door? Implies you might want to open it again...

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REVEALED: GCHQ's BEYOND TOP SECRET Middle Eastern INTERNET SPY BASE

Ben Bonsall

Re: TRAITORS

Re: hanged/hung, there's really no difference, they've always been used interchangably.

But I believe mobs 'lynch' :)

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Facebook wants MORE EXPLICIT SHARING

Ben Bonsall

Re: Sharing Absurdities

"Handcream? It could be so much worse."

ie. superglue?

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Waterfront flats plan for IBM's UK HQ as housing market goes bananas

Ben Bonsall

Heh, 20 years ago I did work experience in that office... Writing BI rules for an as/400, and after hours, a mouse-move-to-plotter-pen driver for OS2 :)

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Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

Ben Bonsall

Re: Who ate all the pies?

Knifewrench! Practical and safe!

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So, just how do you say 'the mutt's nuts' in French?

Ben Bonsall

Re: Gaelic

Pretty sure they retracted that as it was bollocks.

Mecano came in sets called A, B, C etc...

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Ben Bonsall

Re: And when the Greens get pissy...

Correction:

...then push them over the side, into the *water infested with radioactive sharks*. .

:)

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Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

Ben Bonsall

FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

- Learn this valuable skill and get ahead in your career!

- 90% of people in your field could benefit from this course, be ahead of the TREND!

- Our online lemon see-sawing courses will teach you the SECRETS that professional Lemon See-sawers DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!

We also offer courses in other valuable skills of high-performing people:

- Yougurt Weaving

- Basket Casing

- Full Metal Jacketing

*Offer applicable to first 100 applicants to yesterday's webcast

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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

Ben Bonsall

Re: Did I miss something?

Who is Oscar Selfie, indeed, who are Oscar Selfies, if there are enough to refer to one of them as THAT Oscar Selfie?

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Ben Bonsall

Re: Wow

Nope. Mainland Europe. Lunch is important here.

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Ben Bonsall

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch, as I've just made some very odd noises trying not to laugh at these comments. +1s for all!

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Hey, Glasshole: That cool app? It has turned you into a SPY DRONE

Ben Bonsall

"...mobile security firm Lookout showed how it might be possible to install malware or snooping on data feeds by tricking a user into simply looking at malicious QR codes."

Cool, snowcrash here we come...

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Ben Bonsall

Re: IT angle?

I think it was more of a tIT angle.

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