* Posts by Ben Bonsall

257 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

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Laser probers sniff more gravitational waves from mega black hole smash

Ben Bonsall

Re: Why LIGO Is a Scam

It is falsifiable

Teleport the sun hundreds of light years away. If the earth immediately continues in a straight line, then gravity is instantaneous action at a distance. If it continues in orbit until the last light reaches earth, then gravity is transmited at the speed of light.

Not an easy experiment, I agree.

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Google asks the public to name the forthcoming Android N operating system

Ben Bonsall

Noddy

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Did Spotify hire Alan Partridge to run its Netflix-style video push?

Ben Bonsall

Former friends of boyband stars Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow get the opportunity to tell them just how they feel about being forgotten the instant the band got famous, in 'Take That You Bastards.'

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Ben Bonsall

An in depth analysis of fashionable underpant brands worn by rappers, in Biggie's Smalls.

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Don't Stop Me Now

The much requested follow-up will be called The Show Must Go On.

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Ben Bonsall

Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr. deny having ever met Rolf in 'Not You too?'

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Ben Bonsall

Marc Almond and David Ball are locked up together in a insane asylum, in Soft Cell.

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Ben Bonsall

Celebrities go on cycling tours of the holy land in Christ on a bike.

(Maybe I should do some work now.)

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Ben Bonsall

Prince Charles and the former Slade frontman go bargain hunting in Noddy and Big-ears go to Poundland.

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Ben Bonsall

Humphrey Littleton reviews Barry Cryer's favorite one-liners, in Humphrey Littleton's Jest of Baz.

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Ben Bonsall

Ant tells the harrowing story of the rebirth of his career after he found Dec eviscerated in their hotel room, in Ventriloquism is not just for Dummies.

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Ben Bonsall

Celebrating the 76th birthday celebrations of a legendary welsh crooner- Tonight, 76! Tom Jones Has a Big Parade

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Ben Bonsall

Popular rapper Marshal Mathers talks about his favorite sweets and shops, in Eminem on M&Ms and M&S.

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Ben Bonsall

Terry Christian interviews celebrities about the influence of Face magazine on their carreers, in Arse About Face, tonight on Four.

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Ben Bonsall

John Terode and Greg Wallace recreate some of the recipes of the first celebrity chef, in John and Greg's Taste of Fanny

(not music related, but hey ho.)

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Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

Ben Bonsall

Re: Fair compromise

Personally I went for RSS Brass Monkey

But a fair comment (admittedly, from the daily mash...)

"People don't realize what a dangerous and lonely job we do. No one wants to die on a ship called Boaty McBoatface."

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RIP Prince: You were the soundtrack of my youth

Ben Bonsall

It will end when Meatloaf becomes the artist formally known as Mince.

Although,

There once was an artist called Prince,

Who on stage would posture and mince,

Then just for a giggle,

Changed his name to a squiggle,

And nobody's heard of him since...

(isihac- rip willy and humph.)

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Russian boffins want to nuke asteroids

Ben Bonsall

Re: A modest proposal

Give us the one called McNeal!

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1,000 cats await stadium-sized sandwich bag launch

Ben Bonsall

Surely everyone's heard of cats?

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Ben Bonsall

Can they change the name? When I see SPB you keep getting my hopes up that you are getting somewhere with the FAA. :(

Although,

Regarding the weight, the SPB plus payload tips the scales at 4,500kg

made me do a double take.

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Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Ben Bonsall

Re: ".... why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

Fly my pretties!

<thunk><thunk><thunk-thunk>

Back to the drawing board, Smithers.

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Microsoft smells Musk, splashes on 'Mune' space program

Ben Bonsall

Re: Sound of zero hands clapping

Temperature is the average energy per degree of freedom (number of particles multiplied by the number of ways they can move). In a complete vacuum, there are zero particles, and the sum of their energy is zero. Ask your C compiler, and it will tell you 0./0. is not a number.

Photons are particles too... The icy cold of spaaaaace has lots of them, their energy averages out to about 2.7 Kelvin.

If you made a box full of space, to exclude photons from the universe, then the box will be in equilibrium with the surrounding space- it will also radiate photons between its walls with an average energy of about 2.7 kelvin.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

Ben Bonsall

It was a dream compared to the Z80.

Indeed :) Taught myself assembler on a 6502. Thought I was pretty good until I saw the Z80 manual...

Skipped it and went on to a 68000 instead.

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Ben Bonsall

Didn't the Model A have a 6502? Which might have a small instruction set, but it wasn't RISC... Due to complex addressing modes, mostly. And variable length instructions. While it had minimal registers and used ram instead, that was mostly because getting registers on die was seriously expensive in the 70s.

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'Just give me any old date and I'll make it work' ... said the VB script to the coder

Ben Bonsall

Fun VB bug.

We had an ID that was rapidly approaching the max for a 32 bit int in a critical application. VB having no 64 bit long type, the decision was to use the currency type as it was a variant and a 64bit long underneath. We never need to do any operations on this, so it was all fine.

All good up till the point where we pass the ID to a com object. The com was expecting a 64bit long.

For no good reason, every time we pass in the ID, by the time it hit the COM code, it was incremented by 1. Tried a few things, make the COM expect a variant and convert to 64bit long, make it expect a currency type and convert to long, to no avail.

Eventually we ended up passing it as a string and having the COM expect a 64bit long. We still don't know what was happening, probably at some point in the COM interface the currency type was being converted to a float and the conversion to 64bit long was off by one, but we just don't know.

So now we have an integer ID that is a currency type variant that needs to be passed around as a string, just so it can be recognized correctly as a long on the other end.

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Google rocks up to Facebook's DIY-data-center party with six pack of rack blueprints

Ben Bonsall

Re: Every time . . .

The day they build a self-driving 6000SUX...

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We tested the latest pre-flight build of Windows 10 Mobile. It's buggy but promising

Ben Bonsall

Still using a lumia 800. Still happy. Battery still just about gets through the day. (It used to do 3 days. If i forget to plug in overnight, then a top up in the car is enough to get me to the end of the work day at least.)

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'$5bn for Slack?! I refuse to pay!' You don't pay – and that's its biggest problem

Ben Bonsall

Wave was cool. I miss it.

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New Monopoly version features an Automatic Teller Machine

Ben Bonsall

Re: Misses the point entirely

To be fair, I was mostly joking about my dad, who was an unscrupulous bastard when it came to monopoly. Mostly allowed because there is no official receiver, or monopoly and mergers commission in monopoly. So really, it teaches the futility of unregulated monopoly capitalism.

If the receiver could ensure a fair sale of the assets to ensure the debt was paid, and the monopoly commission could regulate swap deals to prevent insider trading and monopoly building, the unscrupulous dads would have to play fair with their kids :)

Still: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_Game_(short_story)

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Misses the point entirely

It's supposed to teach kids the futility of capitalism- there's only one winner, who is an unscrupulous bastard (and usually your dad), and everyone else ends up bankrupt and in tears...

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This is why copy'n'paste should be banned from developers' IDEs

Ben Bonsall

Re: Horrible, but maybe unavoidable

Looks like Delphi to me... But the title still stands.

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Major Hollywood studio eyes Paint Drying sequel

Ben Bonsall

Roller Wall

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Ben Bonsall

And the broadway musical version:

Annie! Chance of a cup of tea love?

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Ben Bonsall

Colour Fast and Furious about the mess in the hall.

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Ben Bonsall

Dry Hard 7: Jar-Jar of white spirit.

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Ben Bonsall

Dry Hard 2: Clone Walls

Dry Hard 3: The revenge of the poorly prepared surface.

Dry Hard 4: A New Coat

Dry Hard 5: The Empire changes it's mind about the colour

Dry Hard 6: The return of the Contractor

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Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Ben Bonsall

Re: Subliminals

Should have has a soundtrack with the Take Hart gallery theme on a one minute loop.

With someone shouting cunt about 8 and a half hours in after they'd turned to volume down.

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Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

Ben Bonsall

Re: If Pluto is taken.

I want a t-shirt with 6 sleeves, and 'I was abducted and taken to an ant-world, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' on the front.

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Europe's satellite laser comms system set to shine

Ben Bonsall

The shark died and it takes a while to train a new one...

(fsking ie keeps stripping off post values)

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Eric Schmidt, for one, welcomes our new robot overlords

Ben Bonsall

I'm not sure an AI with access to any kind of infrastructure would find population growth or climate change to be hard problems...

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Discworld fans stake claim to element 117

Ben Bonsall

Octiron, surely. Octarine is a colour, Octiron is a metal.

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How to build a real lightsabre

Ben Bonsall

Re: How Not To Do It.

Well, not after you'd torched the shareholders as well.

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Obama calls out encryption in terror strategy speech

Ben Bonsall

Re: Given that

Gun control in America is impossible because the people that believe in the right to own guns, believe they have that right in order to prevent the government getting out of hand, and one of the things they see as the government getting out of hand is them trying to take away their guns.

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Brit hardware hacker turns Raspberry Pi Zeros into selfie slayers

Ben Bonsall

Re: I'm wondering

Would it be possible to spoof a connection and deliver a mocked up error page saying "Get a life" or something like that?

Something like a 404.1 - Life not found.

Most likely causes:

There is an error in your brain.

If you clicked a link, you may be out of date.

Things you can try:

Growing up.

Cutting off that silly beard.

Going outside without your phone to search for one.

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Hilton confirms hotel credit-card-snaffling sales till malware hit

Ben Bonsall

Re: The statement written by PR

Windows CE :)

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Who's right on crypto: An American prosecutor or a Lebanese coder?

Ben Bonsall

If encryption can be broken, or keys retrieved from an intermediary, it would be trivial to then impersonate the owner of a key, to gather information about contacts, or to plant false evidence...

Much more scary than being able to see your cat pictures.

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Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Ben Bonsall

Re: What was Cristiano Ronaldo doing on board?

Alan Shepard got there first.

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Porsche-gate: Android Auto isn't slurping tons of engine data, claims Google – but questions remain

Ben Bonsall

As an aside, you can get bluetooth ODBC-II dongles and there are plenty of Playstore apps to read everything

True- but you are unlikely to upload all the data to a central database to let people search, for instance, to prove from parking sensor data that all Porsche drivers really do drive so close to the car in front that it counts as automotive buggery...

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Indianapolis man paints his ball every day – for FORTY YEARS

Ben Bonsall

Re: Ball rings

like this: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fordite&tbm=isch

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