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* Posts by Ben Bonsall

57 posts • joined 4 Jun 2008

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Ben Bonsall

Re: And when the Greens get pissy...

Correction:

...then push them over the side, into the *water infested with radioactive sharks*. .

:)

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Raised £350bn in crowdsourced funding? Tell me about it (not)

Ben Bonsall

FruitExpert Launches Free* Online course in lemon see-sawing!

- Learn this valuable skill and get ahead in your career!

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- Our online lemon see-sawing courses will teach you the SECRETS that professional Lemon See-sawers DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!

We also offer courses in other valuable skills of high-performing people:

- Yougurt Weaving

- Basket Casing

- Full Metal Jacketing

*Offer applicable to first 100 applicants to yesterday's webcast

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WTF: Twitter bug temporarily kills THAT Oscar selfie

Ben Bonsall

Re: Did I miss something?

Who is Oscar Selfie, indeed, who are Oscar Selfies, if there are enough to refer to one of them as THAT Oscar Selfie?

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Ben Bonsall

Re: Wow

Nope. Mainland Europe. Lunch is important here.

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Ben Bonsall

I'm glad the office has emptied out for lunch, as I've just made some very odd noises trying not to laugh at these comments. +1s for all!

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Hey, Glasshole: That cool app? It has turned you into a SPY DRONE

Ben Bonsall

"...mobile security firm Lookout showed how it might be possible to install malware or snooping on data feeds by tricking a user into simply looking at malicious QR codes."

Cool, snowcrash here we come...

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Cops bang up squiffy, nude Virginian minx

Ben Bonsall

Re: IT angle?

I think it was more of a tIT angle.

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Star Wars movie to start shooting in UK this summer

Ben Bonsall

Re: As much as I loved Star wars

Indeed. There's still five and a half Dune books to do before they need to invent some more star wars...

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Previously stable Greenland glaciers now rushing to the sea

Ben Bonsall

Re: On-going Research

a cube of floating ice displaces the same volume of water as the water that made up the ice. so as it melts, the level shouldn't change. If it dropped, it was probably due to it (and the researcher) ending up drunk.

Try the same experiment, only support the ice on matchsticks above the glass... the glass soon overflows. (assuming of course, that nothing ends up drunk.)

Out-gassing of dissolved co2 in the tonic would also cause a small decreasing in volume...

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Wackadoo DIYers scissor-kick beatboxer

Ben Bonsall

Re: "toilet attendant"

Why toilet attendant? The correct term is Bog Troll

Bog Troll (n): A man or woman who sits by the door of a public (or patrons only) toilet facility, offering (for a fee) a range of bad aftershave, soap, or soft bog roll to convenience users too drunk to slip past.

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Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

Ben Bonsall

Re: Cloth nappies FTW

err, do your guests know you are making them wipe their mouths and hands on used nappies?

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WHOA: Get a load of Asteroid DX110 JUST MISSING planet EARTH

Ben Bonsall

Re: Well, if asteroid time ...

IT seems to be made of best stewing steak... It's meteorite.

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Dark matter killed the dinosaurs, boffins suggest

Ben Bonsall

Re: A paper based on "what if"?????

I'm still waiting for the Finglonger.

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Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base

Ben Bonsall

Re: How to load an airship with celebrities

My first thought on reading that was maybe they've just found the new Big Brother house?

Eviction takes on a whole new and far more interesting meaning...

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LG offers BRAIN-SAVING CANCER-BL... er 'good luck charms'

Ben Bonsall

Re: Glastonbury

I would have thought that headaches and loss of energy are natural side effects of being at Glastonbury... As is coming home with some over priced hippy tat and a band shirt you'd never wear in public.

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Prez Obama cyber-guru: Think your data is safe in an EU cloud? The NSA will raid your servers

Ben Bonsall

Re: Like most crime you can't stop a *really* determined criminal.

"If you're a European Citizen who was telling their mother about what they had for dinner and sending a picture of the cat..." :)

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Brit boffins brew up blight-resistant FRANKENSPUD

Ben Bonsall

Re: nil desperandum gloria aspidistra

"What would happen if you crossed an Irish bog with a bag of carrots or something nonpotatoey?"

You'd get muddy feet either way

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Mathematicians spark debate with 13 GB proof for Erdős problem

Ben Bonsall

Re: I smell snake oil .....

He's working for the NSA, predicting your next SSL key

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Birds Eye releases 'mashtags' social spud snacks

Ben Bonsall

Re: I think a 3-D printer company...

Shredded tweet?

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Ben Bonsall

Re: Leftovers

Assuming no one retrieves them from the recycle bin.

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Without a smartphone your reptile brain gets a workout

Ben Bonsall

If commuting is dull again, buy a newspaper, read a book, do a crossword...

(or get a Nintendo game and watch)

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Tinfoil hats proven useless by eleven-year mobe radiation study

Ben Bonsall

Re: Tin Foil Hats

The wifi there doesn't monitor your thoughts, it adds new ones, like "drink another overpriced cup of brown mud" and "mmm, you are enjoying this brown mud" or "a 5 euro muffin would be nice about now..."

The wifi signal strength is always suspiciously high... possibly to overpower the tinfoil hats.

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Tuesday declared 'The Day we Fight Back' against NSA et al

Ben Bonsall

Re: <sigh>

to share something pre-prepared is to share it before it's ready...

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Ben Bonsall

Re: We can't really march on anything

We want the right to show emotions

Мы хотим, чтобы право показывать эмоции

Rydym am gael yr hawl i ddangos emosiwn

We want the right to show emotions

Google is getting pretty good at this... :)

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Want to remotely control a car? $20 in parts, some oily fingers, and you're in command

Ben Bonsall

Not to mention, once it's there it's quite hard for the driver to get in and not notice something amiss, a *long* time before the car steers itself into a tree and the airbag fails to deploy...

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

Ben Bonsall

Re: What's french for "cobblers"?

Without The Register, my smartphone wouldn't be worth as much to me as it currently is...

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Is Google building SKYNET? Ad kingpin buys AI firm DeepMind

Ben Bonsall

Yes.

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Prof Stephen Hawking: 'There are NO black holes' – they're GREY!

Ben Bonsall

Re: punch drunk

Surely it's a Pi in the face for irrationality?

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UK smut filter may have sent game patch to sin-bin

Ben Bonsall

Re: Somehow I don't think so.....

Peniston?

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Hey, G20. Please knock it off with the whole tax loophole thing - we're good guys, really

Ben Bonsall

Change the rules on whether payments to other parts of the group of companies the company is part of are tax deductible or not, making a payment to a subsidury/ partner/ parent is not deductible (maybe... unless it is in the same country... )

Basically, making a payment to another company not part of your group- that's business expenses and part of cost of sales.

Making a payment to your own group of companies- that's moving profits and not part of cost of sales

Or is that a daft idea? I know EU rules say you can move money to any other EU country as long as tax is paid somewhere, but until the EU has harmonized tax rules it's not going to work and bog all tax will be paid...

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Hopefuls rattle tin for customisable snap together 3D printer

Ben Bonsall

Or, as the bitcoin mining rig roundup kind of suggests, sell a pickaxe you won't deliver for a couple of months, which you use in the intervening time to mine for gold, then when it's gone a bit blunt, deliver it to the person who paid for it and use the new orders to pay for a new more efficient pickaxe, which you won't deliver for a few months...

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ZyXEL router attack: HUNDREDS of Brit biz bods knocked offline

Ben Bonsall

Hiding in those 100 will be the actual target... And they don't yet know what's missing.

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'BILLION-YEAR DISK' to help FUTURE LIFEFORMS study us

Ben Bonsall

Re: Excellent

Make big visible diagrams showing how to build a microscope

Markings visible with the microscope show how to build tech to read next level

etc.

Assumes a certain level of technology with each layer of course...

Obviously, if the data requires more than one disc, there is a problem... eventually the future people receive an error message saying 'This is disc 3 of 10. Please insert disc 1 to read file list' or probably 'Thix si drrc # fi !). Plix inrest drrc ! 2 rrrd dictionary'

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CryptoLocker creeps lure victims with fake Adobe, Microsoft activation codes

Ben Bonsall

Cunning way of MS and adobe to get a license fee out of people looking for a crack... I wonder if you actually get a product key after paying the ransom. Adobe CS6 costs about 2 bitcoin... as does server 2012 with 4 CALs

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iPhone fanbois outsmart fandroids in totally reliable test of brain power

Ben Bonsall

Re: Not what it's cracked up to be

- How many 9s are there between 0 and 100? The correct answer is: f) 11

are you sure?

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Google and Apple in DRAG RACE: It's fanboi Mercs VS fandroid Audis

Ben Bonsall

- "Can you still hear me? There was some interference then"

- "Yeah, my car just crashed"

- "Heh, do a indicate right-horn-handbrake and open task manager"

- "No, I mean I hit the car in front while I was trying to +1 the M25..."

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Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits

Ben Bonsall

Don't use pink- Spitfires that were used as spy planes were painted pink as it blends in with clouds better than anything else. Admittedly, it does make it stand out against the ground.

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The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

Ben Bonsall

Re: Not British Racing Green

"- I've had a nice realistic Zebra scheme on a much bigger glider than this and it totally disappeared into the background, both in the sky and on the floor."

Well, yes. Zebra pattern is for camouflage after all...

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Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers

Ben Bonsall

I'm with the Simulationists; Eventually, games like sim city or the sims (or whatever comes after...) will reach the point where the simulation is as complex as reality, and the agents will start to wonder if there is a higher power directing their lives...

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Brew me up, bro: 11-year-old plans to make BEER IN SPACE

Ben Bonsall

As it costs about $5000 to send a kilo to space and about the same to return it, probably Stella should get in on the act... at $5000 a pint, it would be disconcertingly expensive

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In case of LOHAN flight emergency, gobble THIS Iridium-Arduino sandwich

Ben Bonsall

Big Red Emergency Activated Safety Tether-cutting System

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Analysts brawl over 'death' of markup language

Ben Bonsall

Can't beat an adjustable stilson for plumbing, or any situation where a socket has knackered the head or nut.

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Dark matter researchers think they've got a signal

Ben Bonsall

Re: Hammer.

But, if you can't fix it with a hammer, but don't discover this until you've tried the hammer technique, it might now be *really* broken.

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So, just what is the ultimate bacon sarnie?

Ben Bonsall

Grilled.

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Government launches hydrogen motoring task force

Ben Bonsall

ditch the renewables feed in bonus scheme, and give grants or tax breaks to build hydroden cracking and storage to the renewable companies instead, helping to smooth the output from the renewable sources and also kick start hydrogen car schemes.

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Fast food firm fields Sith sandwich

Ben Bonsall

Quick burgers are pretty good, not as good as a whopper but way better than a macvomit. can't wait :)

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Microsoft rolls out One Big Windows strategy

Ben Bonsall

been hinted at for ages...

NT, minwin, midori, longhorn, the CLR, powershell... (in no real order :) ) Only a lot of internal fighting and a lot of internal ignoring has prevented it happening sooner. MS has known for 15 years at least what they needed to do, but if part of your business is raking in billions a year, an upstart project with high ideals but that needs 5 years of research is not going to change its direction, particularly if the billion dollar business has to start all over again

MS would seriously have benefited from being split into at least two parts in the legal stuff in the 90s.

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Apple patent: 'Pour' your data from iPhone to iPad

Ben Bonsall

heh

Normally movie studios have to design outlandish interfaces for their computers to avoid having to license anything ("I know this... it's a unix system..."), now a movie studio gets to chase apple for stealing its idea!

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MS patent looks just like Unix command, critics howl

Ben Bonsall

MS can't sue for sudo.

The patent mentions sudo as prior art... MS can't sue someone for implementing the thing they have said it is based on. This looks a lot like the part of UAC that allows you to have two accounts with the same username and password, one with limited access, and one with full access, so to do an admin task you must specifically authorize it to happen.

The reason for the patent would be to prevent anyone from retrospectively applying for a patent for sudo and suing MS for implementing privelege escalation in UAC, which would be a brain dead idea, legally trying to force MS to release an insecure OS...

Software patents are a stupid idea, as are ones for business methodology, but while they exist, companies wil have to protect themselves from trolls. Even if they have a reputation for trolling themselves. In fact, ESPECIALLY if they have a reputaion for doing it themselves.

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Ben Bonsall

@scott 19

Karl benz patented the motor car in 1866, the patent expired more than 100 years ago and you'd be laughed out of the patent office for failing to notice that.

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