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* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

9413 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

'Catastrophic failure' of 3D-printed gun in Oz Police test

Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Unsuccessful SuccessCase

The US and Australian police instead of spouting off, actually do the tests, and conclude, even when produced by the cheapest available 3D printer that the gun is extremely dangerous, "both to the person it is being used against and to the user."

They also found out it was made of plastic.

Using a gun is a uniquely cowardly act but using one of these is going to play right into the "gangsta" mentality where using one is spun as a uniquely brave thing to do.

Not only do we have ganstas with gangsta mentality with real guns, but now we have to worry about them having plastic gun initiations, too? Shock horror.

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Yes, I'm happy to live in a world where the intelligence people check my Internet searches, purchases and my communications generally but where buying a plastic printer falls through the cracks. Whew!

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Re: Bullets

I didn't know there was a large red button that makes bullets cost £5k each?

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Devil

Re: Why are the Yanks scared about this?

At least Michael Moore will be able to do a movie with spiritually unlifiting background music about this.

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Boffin

Re: 3D gun?

Hi, Cave Johnson here. In the next test will have you fire our new 4-D gun. That's right, 4-D! You may have heard about that 3-D plastic gun printing business from the papers. Caused quite a ruckus over last summer's silly season. Well, at Aperture Science we have got one better and increased the dimensionality by a full 33.33%. Now you can fire a gun and the bullet will go back in time and actually hit your own backside. Please don't pay attention to the gore in the waiting hall. There were some testers to whom the aforementioned actually happened.

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Big Brother

SOMETHING DOES SOMETHING AND WE NEED A LAW AGAINST THAT!

Cost to taxpayer: ~ a few million bucks while actual problems stay unsolved and the legal system is clogged up.

Advantage: Securocrats get a free platform, bureaucrats justify paycheck, legal profession justifies paycheck, journos pumping the dross justify paycheck, old ladies sipping earl grey feel securer-er.

Effects: nil

Rinse, repeat.

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Trollface

Re: In other news...

> THE SKY IS FALLING!

It's only the printed one which is.

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Internet cafés declared 'illegal businesses' in Ohio

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FAIL

Re: No legitimate internet cafe is being hurt

> As usual the knee-jerk reaction by the liberals

Liberals? Hey, Mr. Conservative. Your hat.

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Re: Government

Thumbs up for Great Mencken.

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No Fun allowed!

There basically gambling dens by a misdemeanor.

Who gives a flying f*ck except the cretinous cretins continually minding your own business?

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Experts: Network security deteriorating, privacy a lost cause

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Start off with a turd? Expect me to read this?

"We've got North Korea with ICBMs and we've got Iran developing an atomic bomb, but that's not our biggest problem" Brocade Communications chairman David House said

Iran is developing an atomic bomb? Says AIPAC and various sycophants of BushCo, which includes the sorry editorials of WaPo (yes, you Hyatt, you prick) and the War Street Journal.

Instant disqualification as mouthpieces of the War Lobby.

You, Mr. House, are just another useful idiot.

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

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Holmes

Re: News Chronicle November 11, 1944

Says radio control used for initial part of flight followed by inertial guidance systems - which made it quite accurate in direction but poor on range.

And ... the analog on-board computer that everyone forgot about: Helmut Hoelzer’s Fully Electronic Analog Computer used in the German V2 (A4) rockets

It seems to do attitude control and position correction by integrating the sideways accelerations, if I understand weel, though ... where are the accelerometers? And how does it know it is on course?

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Big Brother

Re: Don't say I didn't warn you

Meanwhile at MI6...

"We get message!"

"Main screen turn on!"

"It's Allen...!"

"Dear Your Majesty's Secret Service. Respect MY PATENTS! Or else ..."

"What you say!"

"You have no chance to survive, I have vintage ICBM!

"MUAHAHA ....." [meow]

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Headmaster

Re: A question for rocket scientists on El Reg...

Germans ... the only thing they can't do is fix the UK's LA-85.

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Now it gets serious: Fracking could RUIN BEER

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Alien

Gut Helmut!

produced over 15.6 million hectoliters (3.3 billion pints) of Bier

I think we need a Boltzmann Liver, suddenly appearing mysteriously in empty space (because quantum fluctuations make it so it MUST appear from time to time in any point of an universe that is old and large enough) just to process all that!

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SAP in search of autistic software engineers who 'think different'

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Big Brother

Re: Fixed it for you

> All corporations exploit all their workers.

Marxist Bullshit. You can *always* walk. That's the extent of the exploitation. Then cries arise "but muh pension scheme / unemployment benefits blah blah". These are chains that link you to GOVERNMENT. Enjoy them.

Meanwhile... Let the SAP HUMAN INSTRUMENTATION PROJECT commence!

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Did Kim Dotcom invent 2-factor authentication? Er, not exactly...

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Meh

I'm so tired

Pretty sure prior art predating the first gleam of patenting lighting up the mind of an innovator having an idle period on the khazi can, and will, be found.

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Is the next-gen console war already One?

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Devil

Re: New controllers needed

That's entertainment. That's entertainment...

You now picture a well-dressed Danny deVito on the Microsoft board saying that.

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Woolwich beheading sparks call to REVIVE UK Snoopers' Charter

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Big Brother

I told you so. Now I have to surveil you. For you own good.

Reid, the former Labour home secretary, said the bill was a crucial weapon against terrorists and warned that it would take "some huge tragedy" for Britons to see the need for legislation.

Rule #1 of bureaucracy: Never let a good crisis go to waste

Old' Orwell warned us about those guys ... "when they strike, they strike hard."

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Apple cored: Samsung sells 10 million Galaxy S4 in a month

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Trollface

Re: "life companion for a richer, fuller, simpler life"

So Ronery!

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Tipsters exposed after South Africa's national police force hacked

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FAIL

".za" is now being transferred to Zimbabwe.

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Headmaster

Re: Arizona laws requiring immigrants to carry documents at all times

What kind of little roach downvotes this?

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Microsoft and pals: Save the global economy by NOT ripping us off

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Devil

More candidates for the B-Ark

I can't wait for it to take off. I can sanitize my phone myself.

Additionally, the easiest way to up the GDP is to have the government write a huge amount of debt on itself, then just print the corresponding money which you then pretend to have "borrowed". Then spend it. The plebs of the B-Ark will say that they "owe it to themselves", the statisticians on the deck 5 will be happy and the inhabitants of bailout promenade will continue to live in luxury, at least until the final landing is applied. No need for licenses and whatever.

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Yahoo 'won't screw Tumblr'? Then Tumblr will screw its balance sheet

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Son, I am disappoint!

Sod this.

Commentary like the 90's Internet Bubble is BACK AGAIN?

The only good thing is that the lass in charge of Yahoo now can justify her 6 million USD per month salary (or thereabouts) with a retarded acquistion.

I hope every fracking fund takes the conclusion that needs to conclude itself

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WW II U-boat attacks prompt new US response

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Devil

Kaaaarrrlllll!!

Why not NUKE those derelicts to smithereens? There are tons of as-yet-unused Pu lying around!!

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O2 brushed off outsourcing 'rumour' - but it's happening ... to THOUSANDS

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Pint

Around 600 (will be) made redundant by August

Quite the boss, this August guy. Sounds a bit french, too.

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

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Devil

Re: Feed them

Yep. Nuke it from the Data Center Control Room, it's the only way to be sure.

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Trollface

Re: Sigh..

> Given El Reg's record in entomology I'm surprised they weren't described as termites.

That would have meant mentioning Space Marines, and then Copyright Violations Against Space Marines, and then we would be off on a tangent with Andrew.

Seriously, these ant invasions are weird. It's almost as if an alien intelligence wanted to take us out with better and better engineered stuff .... like in Philip K. Dick's Expendable. Maybe we should talk to the spiders.

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Securo-boffins uncover new GLOBAL cyber-espionage operation

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Trollface

Re: Info Sec - wat iz it?

While you are busy applying the hard-acquired knowledge of your MBA, unknown operatives from many places of the world are playing tag on your machine (if they aren't chatting with each other), like a particularly functional version of an UN assembly.

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It! Started! With! A! GIF!... Yahoo! Actually! Buys! Tumblr! for! $1bn!

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Devil

Re: But how?

I dunno but have a blast from back when Acorns existed:

Dire Straits: Money for Nothing

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Get your head out of the Tumblr!

Seriously, I like to dwell on the olden times when 1 billion was hard to come by and was actually real money. You could buy nuclear submarines with that etc.

Hyperinflation is a festering decay process and apparently starts in the management offices.

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Petshop iPad fanboi charged with filming up young model's skirt

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Trollface

The Rouge Republic of California

Weaver also plans to lobby the government of California to toughen up laws against upskirt filming or other pervy public crimes. She is angry that the charges brought against suspects are only counted as misdemeanours under California law, which does not consider such charges sex crimes.

Yep, we can't get enough control. Better have the guy exiled, branded, required to check in with police regularly and forbidden to stay within 500m of a school for more than an hour forever.

Beria would have had the guy shot after seizing the footage and the woman for his personal amusement. It would only be fair!

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Marks & Sparks accused of silently bonking punters over the tills

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Holmes

Re: it isn't radio waves

In that case, no directional antennas ....

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Paris Hilton

Re: Get some NFC Card Sleeves damned fast!!!

Is that the new tinfoil?

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Nintendo throws flaming legal barrel at YouTubing fans

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Paris Hilton

Re: unique audiovisual experience?

> I would argue that recording the screen of a desktop application is a little bit different than recording a game that contains significant amounts of graphical and audio content.

How exactly?

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Hold our tiny silicon spheres, say gravity wave detection scientists

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Angel

Re: If they do, you'll never prove it

Looks like some commentards are ready to submit their paper to "Loonie Reviews B"

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Massive EXPLOSION visible to naked eye SEEN ON MOON

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Facepalm

Eadon impersonation.

"Moon Monitor Console" in a crappy MS-DOS terminal window, one of the most amazing catastrophes and nastiest venereal diseases of IT ever!

NASA FAIL!

In "Contact" Elly had perfectly good 21' CRTs and X-Win applications. And that was 15 years ago.

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Google research chief: 'Emergent artificial intelligence? Hogwash!'

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Coat

> even this website is very probably conscious

So how about YouTube and its comment section.

No, wait. We are doomed.

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Pint

Re: Anyone remember Kevin the Cyborg?

Well, there are more serious journals than El Reg writing about advances in AI all the time, and there is nothing Sci-Fi-esque about it.

IEEE Intelligent Systems comes to mind (ex "IEEE Intelligent Systems and their Applications" (1998-2000), ex "IEEE Expert" (1986-1997)).

Yes, things are heating up, the "far out AI, are you mad?" of yesterday becomes the "it has been done; can't be AI then" of today increasingly quickly. The goal or target or criterium for succes is, however, still as unclear as ever.

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Devil

Re: Yet Another Commentard

"There are not enough subatomic particles in the entire universe to hold the data that a single brain and its connections would generate."

Oh yeah? Care to explain how a brain can even work in the first place in this case?

I think you are sadly mistaken about the prowess of a brain. All this "but it's more powerful than that!" idea has never been substantiated. Quantum effects, DNA, the pineal gland. Mumbo-Jumbo. Magic Dust. Religious Wankage. Lower-level details with no demonstrated relevance to the level we are talking about here.

You still can't solve NP-complete problems in polynomial time. Can dogs with only a slightly smaller brain (which must still be super-powerful) get on your level? Hell, Kasparov can't even beat a poor symbolic logic machine working discrete timesteps, how powerful is THAT?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Pint

Re: You're forgetting "leakage"

No, that project ain't going anywhere fast for now. A stab in the dark at something that resembles an approximation of adiabatic quantum computing (which, I may recall, has not been proven to be able to crack NP-complete problems) does not an Aggressive Hegemonizing Intelligence make.

Have some Charlies Stross, excellent in an over-the-top fashion:

It’s a simple but deadly dilemma. Automation is addictive; unless you run a command economy that is tuned to provide people with jobs, rather than to produce goods efficiently, you need to automate to compete once automation becomes available. At the same time, once you automate your businesses, you find yourself on a one-way path. You can’t go back to manual methods; either the workload has grown past the point of no return, or the knowledge of how things were done has been lost, sucked into the internal structure of the software that has replaced the human workers.

To this picture, add artificial intelligence. Despite all our propaganda attempts to convince you otherwise, AI is alarmingly easy to produce; the human brain isn’t unique, it isn’t well-tuned, and you don’t need eighty billion neurons joined in an asynchronous network in order to generate consciousness. And although it looks like a good idea to a naive observer, in practice it’s absolutely deadly. Nurturing an automation-based society is a bit like building civil nuclear power plants in every city and not expecting any bright engineers to come up with the idea of an atom bomb. Only it’s worse than that. It’s as if there was a quick and dirty technique for making plutonium in your bathtub, and you couldn’t rely on people not being curious enough to wonder what they could do with it. If Eve and Mallet and Alice and myself and Walter and Valerie and a host of other operatives couldn’t dissuade it . . .

Once you get an outbreak of AI, it tends to amplify in the original host, much like a virulent hemorrhagic virus. Weakly functional AI rapidly optimizes itself for speed, then hunts for a loophole in the first-order laws of algorithmics—like the one the late Professor Durant had fingered. Then it tries to bootstrap itself up to higher orders of intelligence and spread, burning through the networks in a bid for more power and more storage and more redundancy. You get an unscheduled consciousness excursion: an intelligent meltdown. And it’s nearly impossible to stop.

Penultimately—days to weeks after it escapes—it fills every artificial computing device on the planet. Shortly thereafter it learns how to infect the natural ones as well. Game over: you lose. There will be human bodies walking around, but they won’t be human any more. And once it figures out how to directly manipulate the physical universe, there won’t even be memories left behind. Just a noosphere, expanding at close to the speed of light, eating everything in its path—and one universe just isn’t enough.

.... If you believe in reincarnation, the idea of creating a machine that can trap a soul stabs a dagger right at the heart of your religion. Buddhist worlds that develop high technology, Zoroastrian worlds: these world-lines tend to survive. Judaeo-Christian-Islamic ones generally don’t.

Okay Charlie, you chilled me out here. Now, I'm off for a beer. Yeah, that will do it.

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Headmaster

Re: There is no such thing as Artificial Intellgence, and there never will be.

There is no such thing as self evolving and sentience when applied to computer programs because they are and will always be incapable of becoming more than they are programmed to be.

Trying to argue by starting off with the desired conclusion?

Its_time_to_stop_posting.jpg

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Destroy All Monsters
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I know identity of Bitcoin's SECRET mastermind, says Ted Nelson

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Trollface

Re: Nope

Paper Dollar is unstable and wholly impractical as a currency, it is only getting press right now because people think they can accumulate riches monetizing debt denominated in it. It fits perfectly well that a monetarist, a Keynesian and a string of clueless White House dwellers may have developed something that only works in a highly developed set of circumstances that they assume will never change.

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Pint

Re: Don't you just love ...

But he could do cameo appearances in something like "Conspiracy Theory II - Serial Conspiracies LAIN"

Could Tim Berners-Lee?

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Holmes

Dude!

The ABC conjecture is very easy to explain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abc_conjecture

Proving it is hard. And Mochizuki's proof is apparently coming from the future, it's that kind of hard.

More on Mochizuki's proof at here for example. Excellent for Sunday Mornings.

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MIT takes battery-powered robot cheetah for a gallop

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Re: Outrunning a human?

Cats, Mandrake. Robot cats!

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Terminator

> Did it explode or something?

No, it demanded to place a call to the Local Robot Union Representative to complain about nonexistent wages and being exploited like an animal. Robots are People, too!

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NASA signs off on sampling mission to Earth-threatening asteroid

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Coat

You just need to taunt it a second time and it will go away.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: Let's hope LM get the accelerometer the right way up this time.

> That such a small part destroyed the integrity of that missions findings has always bothered me.

Well, it shouldn't.

UPDATE THE REQUIREMENTS LIST FOR NEXT TIME:

1.1) The accelerometer assembly SHALL be marked with an arrow point to the TOP of the accelerometer.

1.2) The accelerometer acceptance bay SHALL be marked with an an arrow indicating the location of the accelerometer TOP in a complete assembly.

1.3) The assembly specialist MUST check before launch that the installed accelerometer marking TOP and the accelerometer acceptance bay marking TOP do correspond.

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