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* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

9522 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Top Norks bone up on Hitler

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Holmes

That urban legend about efficient Nazis...

They were the most inefficient. Prussian bureaucracy run by ignoramuses and parvenus unbound by any rules and legalities with the typical internecine fights of state bureaucracy rendered tougher because THE PARTY MUST BE OBEYED. Fail harder you can't.

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WTF?

“Mentioning that Hitler managed to rebuild Germany in a short time following its defeat in World War One"

LOLWHAT. No mention of Weimar Germany?

Anyway, "The Iron Dream" (the pulp novel that Hitler would have written if he had emigrated to the US after WWI) is a far better read, also military and biker actions are pretty good, something that is sorely missing in "Mein Kampf".

HELDER HEIL!

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When Apple needs speed and security in Mac OS X, it turns to Microsoft

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Alien

Sambanomicon!

To think that if the Samba People hadn't go through the hellish experience of reverse-engineering the SMB protocol to the great danger of sanity and of forcefully meeting lawyers, it would still be a proprietary crawling networking horror of squamous yet ruguous nethermost blasphemous sophomoric programming. That you have to pay for.

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I, for one, welcome our GIANT TITANIUM INSECT OVERLORDS

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CAVE JOHNSON!

Doing crazy science again!

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Google preps wave of machine learning apps

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Big Brother

Soon!

The Singularity!

Unfortunately it will be for ad delivery only.

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PC makers REALLY need Windows 8.1 to walk on water - but guess what?

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Windows

Not the fire this time. It's over. You just had to listen.

Catholic bears defecate on pope in tree-infested areas etc.

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Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't

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Trollface

Re: Missed Opportunity

> despite the fact a strike had shut them down

Ah! A french company where the strike status is actually different from the non-strike one?

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Nvidia stretches CUDA coding to ARM chips

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Holmes

Sure, OpenCL would be nice, but OpenACC seems to be rather open-ish. It is also very much higher-level (compiler does boring jobs for you) than OpenCL/CUDA (manual work required).

Looks like there is no support for gcc or clang.

Compiler_support

"Support of OpenACC is available in commercial compilers from PGI (from version 12.6), Cray, and CAPS. An open source compiler, accULL, is also developed by the University of La Laguna (C language only)."

There is work to do then.

I remember that special C for the Connection Machine...

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Devil

And I have to say I foresee really impressive screensavers in the future.

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Paris Hilton

That market share graph is hard to understand

It is not Larry Ellison's market value expressed in South Sea Islands?

NO! It is the relative share of ARM Open vs. x86....

But in what market? The problem is that market exhibited 100% x86 way back when.

Embedded? Sure not. Supercomputers? No. PCs? I don't see many ARMs here. Mobile Market? No..

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Microsoft lures buy-curious vixens, corduroys with a cheap fondle

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Devil

Re: Use the RT then comment.

Astroroots consumer advocacy? On El Reg? This is like advocating political correctness on /b/.

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Alien

Re: MS Learning Fail

> For the majority of students, computers - like Eadon - are a tool.

You now realize that the country is full of fools how think that having a mental representation of their most important tool as an agglomeration of multicolored iconography that can be shifted around is sufficient.

Zarg from Xandax 5 will now push the "eradicate" button!

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Pint

It's like the stockmarket.

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Windows

Dr. Snooker's Patent Bitumen/Radium Medecine. Now with more Mercury!

...we want students and educators to have the best technology on the market today

Don't believe this for an instant, son!

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SCO vs. IBM battle resumes over ownership of Unix

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Childcatcher

Re: In perpetuity

Back then, Darl McBride could be heard one TV channel and Baghdad Bob could be heard on another. Only one of them was good and deserves to enter the history books.

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Go

Re: I wonder if you could start a kicksterter project

> I am of course joking.

WHY SO UNSERIOUS?

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Ha Ha!

if SCO wins it can start throwing sueballs at the Googles, IBMs and Red Hats of the world and cash in big time

Nobody would pay and nobody would care.

Additionally, by that time, the US and probably Yurop and more likely than not China will be well and truly mired in Superland with the economy doing the final Keynesian titsup limbo dance ... there will be other problems than trying to hoover up money across the world for some sh*t company full of sh*t.

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Google Brain king slashes cost of AI gear

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Trollface

The Butlerian Jihad has been postponed as designers fight over how to design the icon to activate said Jihad on you smartphone.

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Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++

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Facepalm

> Yes but if you want to match the performance that C++ gives you you need to start using sun.misc.Unsafe

Why are people from introductory courses on leet programming posting here?

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Headmaster

Re: NOT

> people running software in aircraft or satellites

Here's a hint. Mr. Alternative: Use Ada in that case. Or a subset of C. C++ will be verboten as per requirements.

Any further questions?

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Re: C++

> It will not include garbage collection

Enjoy you pointer shit and manual deallocation errors.

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Shy? Socially inadequate? Fiddling with your phone could help

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Pint

The best recipe against shyness is the realization that most people you are talking to (and this amazingly encompasses paractically 90% of the female gender, sorry ladies) are just HUGE F*CKING IDIOTS driven by very primitive rule-based logic.

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Top500: Supercomputing sea change incomplete, unpredictable

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Boffin

Re: So I wonder..

The entire BOINC network averages about 9.5 petaFLOPS as of March 19, 2013

Those 33.86 actual petaFLOPS from the Milky Way sound pretty aggro.

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Re: Real serious stupidity

[citation needed]

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Bone up on fresh EU privacy law - or end up in the clink, IT biz warned

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Devil

Colonel Klinked, LOL!

What aspects? All of them.

And really, it is better to have a lawyer on call and do appropriate risk management because as far as I can see, laws WILL be broken especially regarding the cloudy operations. Relying on "opinions" of the repurposed boxshifter is not going to be advisable.

"They have to understand it because in the SMB space, the people there want to focus on their business not on other issues like this."

Even in the SMB stuff, it now becomes their business, so they have to focus on issues like this.

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Critical Java SE update due Tuesday fixes 40 flaws

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Facepalm

Re: (nothing to see here)

People with IQs above 60 have been noticing for some time that there is a large selection of languages on the JVM.

> F#

Yes, go back to the .NET faggotry. Don't let the closure hit you on the way out.

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MPs demand UK rates revamp after Google's 'extraordinary tax mismatch'

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Trollface

Meanwhile, deep in the dark woods of bureaucracy, not far away.,,

Knights of HMRC: Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!

Schmidt: Who are you!?

Knight of HMRC: We are the Knights who say..... "Money"!

Schmidt (horrified): No! Not the Knights who say "Money"!

Knight of HMRC: The same.

Other Knight of HMRC: Who are we?

Knight of HMRC: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Excise, Tax, and Cus-tommms!

Other Knight of HMRC: Cus-tommms!

Schmidt (to Larry): Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

Knight of HMRC: The knights who say "Money" demand..... a sacrifice!

Schmidt: Knights who say Money, we are but simple businessmen who seek the riches that lie in this here not so vibrant economy.

Knights of HMRC: Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!

Larry: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

Knight of HMRC: We shall say "Money" to you... if you do not appease us.

Schmidt: Well what is it you want?

Knight of HMRC: We want.....

(pregnant pause)

.......................TEN BEEELION BRITISH POUND! (the paper money version only though)

Schmidt: A *HOW MUCH*?

Knights of HMRC: Money! Money!! Money! Money!

Schmidt: No! No! Please, please, no more! We will find you a TEN BEEELION.

Knight of HMRC: You must return here with a TEN BEEELION.. or else you will never pass through this bureaucracy... unmolested.

Schmidt: O Knights of HMRC, you are just and fair, and we will return with a TEN BEEELION.

Knight of HMRC: One that is fungible.

Schmidt: Of course!

Knight of HMRC: And does not cost *too many* jobs.

Schmidt: Yes!

Knight of HMRC: Noowwwww.... GO!

"Da dad da da dadad...."

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Apple: iOS7 dayglo Barbie makeover is UNFINISHED - report

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Trollface

KUMBAYA!

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Childcatcher

Re: Apple has lost it's way without their messiah...

starting with WinXP's restyling, faux-3d was in fashion

Fracking kids, know nothing about the eighties... Motif (widget toolkit)

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Alien

No!

Let's listen to Roger Waters instead.

And when they found our shadows

Grouped 'round the TV sets

They ran down every lead

They repeated every test

They checked out all the data on their lists

And then the alien anthropologists

Admitted they were still perplexed

But on eliminating every other reason

For our sad demise

They logged the only explanation left

This species has amused itself to death

No tears to cry

No feelings left

This species has

Amused itself to death

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Creating a commission

"What they won't do is admit to a problem until they understand what it is and how many people are effected."

In political circles, the word "stonewalling" is usually preferred.

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Symantec sharpens axe as 1,700 awarded the Order of the Boot - report

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Trollface

Pink-Slipped, LOL!

Because it's like Death and Taxes?

Only government bods get to have job security (financed by you-know-what, which is why we have the constant wailing that not enough of you-know-what is being paid by evil bastard capitalists, which is an utterly perverse statement on the lave of "Freedom Is Slavery" of course), the rest of us have to hustle.

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Red Hat to ditch MySQL for MariaDB in RHEL 7

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Paris Hilton

Re: Long overdue

People ain't quite sure about that:

http://www.wikivs.com/wiki/MySQL_vs_PostgreSQL

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Devil

Re: elreg subscriber another one bites the dust

Well... technically, MySQL was bought by Sun at the price of "1 Instagram" before .... the unnamable¹ involving a monstrous presence from Redwood occurred.

[1] ...My constant talk about 'unnamable' and 'unmentionable' things was a very puerile device, quite in keeping with my lowly standing as an author. I was too fond of ending my stories with sights or sounds which paralysed my heroes’ faculties and left them without courage, words, or associations to tell what they had experienced. (H.P. Lovecraft, speaking as "Randolph Carter")

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Pint

Re: Satellite Server

There is no obligation to eat your own dogfood .... if you aren't usure about the F/OSS databases, shell out for Miracle Oracle.

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Surprise! Intel smartphone trounces ARM in power trials

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Headmaster

Re: ARM has been resting on its laurels.

ARM just licenses its stuff to fabbers. This should be good information:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARM_architecture#ARM_licensees

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Hubble spies unlikely planet being born in hostile neighborhood

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Pint

Re: CGI

You don't understand. There *is* no "space"! There is only a huge cardboard sky. Far enough to allows one to put geostationaries into orbit so that TV can be beamed into our homes, but not much more. We are f*cked - but by whom?

With the scissors Pris snipped off one of the spider's legs.

In the living room Buster Friendly on the TV screen said, "Take a look at this enlargement of a section of background. This is the sky you usually see. Wait, I'll have Earl Parameter, head of my research staff, explain their virtually world-shaking discovery to you."

Pris clipped off another leg, restraining the spider with the edge of her hand. She was smiling.

"Blowups of the video pictures," a new voice from the TV said, "when subjected to rigorous laboratory scrutiny, reveal that the gray backdrop of sky and daytime moon against which Mercer moves is not only not Terran — it is artificial."

"You're missing it!" Irmgard called anxiously to Pris; she rushed to the kitchen door, saw what Pris had begun doing. "Oh, do that afterward," she said coaxingly. This is so important, what they're saying; it proves that everything we believed — "

"Be quiet," Roy Baty said.

" — is true," Irmgard finished.

The TV set continued, "The 'moon' is painted; in the enlargements, one of which you see now on your screen, brushstrokes show. And there is even some evidence that the scraggly weeds and dismal, sterile soil — perhaps even the stones hurled at Mercer by unseen alleged parties — are equally faked. It is quite possible in fact that the 'stones' are made of soft plastic, causing no authentic wounds."

"In other words," Buster Friendly broke in, "Wilbur Mercer is not suffering at all."

The research chief said, "We've at last managed, Mr. Friendly, to track down a former Hollywood special-effects man, a Mr. Wade Cortot, who flatly states, from his years of experience, that the figure of 'Mercer' could well be merely some bit player marching across a sound stage. Cortot has gone so far as to declare that he recognizes the stage as one used by a now out-of-business minor moviemaker with whom Cortot had various dealings several decades ago."

"So according to Cortot," Buster Friendly said, "there can be virtually no doubt."

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REVEALED: The gizmo leaker Snowden used to smuggle out NSA files

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Big Brother

Roger Roger!

The chairman of the US House of Representative's select intelligence committee Mike Rogers (R-Michigan) said Snowden “attempted to go places that he was not authorised to go”

Yes, Mr Representative. He also attempted to go to places where arsefiends like you didn't even want to go.

Would it be you that called for the execution of Bradley Manning? And who claims to personally oversee every single GWOT airstrike and who is shilling for Israel in his spare time? F*cker.

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Facebook turns on frigid Swedish ice-maidens in new data centre

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Paris Hilton

Re: BFD

You mean in the 30s? Stalin was pining for the fjords (with a bit of a "let's delay the call to the doctor a bit" from his close adviser circle) pretty early in the 50s.

Stalinist architecture (Russian: ста́линский ампи́р – Stalin's Empire style or Russian: ста́линский неоренесса́нс – Stalin's Neo-renaissance), also referred to as Stalinist Gothic, or Socialist Classicism, is a term given to architecture of the Soviet Union under the leadership of Joseph Stalin, between 1933, when Boris Iofan's draft for Palace of the Soviets was officially approved, and 1955, when Nikita Khrushchev condemned "excesses" of the past decades and disbanded the Soviet Academy of Architecture. Stalinist architecture is associated with the socialist realism school of art and architecture.

The architecture of The Other Socialism is much cleaner though there are retarded eagles and shitty oak leaves galore, much like that horrible WWII memorial crud they built in Washington DC. (ahem!)

Um, back to the subject. What's the deal with having a bit of plastic? Anyone care to figure out how much energy goes into the motherboard and CPU (during production and lifetime) as opposed to the plastic glitter and a blue LED or two?

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Paris Hilton

Phone Sex?

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#Facebook: Now all your hashtags ARE BELONG TO US, Twitter

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Re: thanks

http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/A/ASCII.html

#: Common: number sign; pound; pound sign; hash; sharp; crunch ; hex; [mesh]. Rare: grid; cross­hatch; oc­to­thorpe; flash; square;, pig-pen; tic­tac­toe; scratchmark; thud; thump; splat .

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Microsoft botnet smackdown 'caused collateral damage, failed to kill target'

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Windows

Re: Microsoft's Digital Crimes Unit

~~~~Nyan ~~~~Nyan ~~~~ Nyan ~~~~ Nyan ~~~~ Nyan ~~~~

Ok, Microsoft, this was pretty much "mission failure". How are you guys doing this? Is Gaius Baltar one of your brainboxes or what?

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Java EE 7 melds HTML5 with enterprise apps

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Angel

Hmm ... yes?

I'm currently trying on Grails. Am I a bad person?

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Scientists investigate 'dark lightning' threat to aircraft passengers

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Holmes

Re: electrons/positrons are made of "light"

Jeez Eadon.

EVERYTHING is made of the same stuff. At the SAME TIME. This is why Feynman diagrams work.

The quantum wave function has nothing to do with an classical Maxwell electromagnetic wave. Different levels of phenomenology (and theory) altogether.

More in the amazing Quantum Theory in a Nutshell. Unfortunately for people just as myself, one has to have a pretty solid foundation in dog-standard Quantum Mechanics and the use of Lagrangians.

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Barcelona taps Tesla and Tegra for next-gen hybrid supercomputer

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Trollface

Oh Yurop!

> Bull is being hired to do the system integration

I foresee failure.

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You've seen the Large Hadron Collider. Now comes the HUGE Hadron Collider

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Trollface

Re: I'm disapointed

At least the we have a new meaningful measure for the enormous LHC data production: the "NSA second", once we know how large that is in byte, conversion can begin!

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Paris Hilton

Re: That's what they're *telling us* they're building

I can has one, then?

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Paris Hilton

Re: Earthquakes

Well, there already are at least the Kamikande Neutrino Observatory. And then you have complete Boiling Water Reactors and actual towns sited in that country.

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Holmes

Re: HHC?

Plus, I have heard that Muon Factories to generate copious amounts of high-energy Neutrinos (so copious and high-energy that they actually pose a radiation hazard downrange of the collider) would be of mucho interest in studying neutrino physics, where quite a lot of questions are open and parameters are floating around. But the technology ain't even on the paper yet.

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Paris Hilton

How about "puncturing the cloud", then?

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