* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

11730 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Tiny heat-sucker helps keep Moore's Law going

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NSA's TURBINE robot can pump 'malware into MILLIONS of PCs'

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Big Brother

Do YOU have UNITEDRAKE FOGGYBOTTOM SALVAGERABBIT clearance?

"The madness is spreading"

Clearly, Chtulhu is up and about and looking people in the eye. I think this ain't gonna end well.

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Seven Great Moments in World Wide Web History

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Childcatcher

Re: Poe's law

I think the leftist slant has been markedly increased though!

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Candy Crush King plans IPO valuing it at $7.6 BEEELLION

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Re: Its possible

And tomorrow, there will be another overvalued kid on the block..

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Trollface

Re: Wow

I think a new dot-com crash is coming...

Ohh! And here I was thinking "THE FUNDAMENTALS ARE STRONK!"

No, wait...

Addicted to Asset Bubbles: Helicopter Ben Runs Out of Ideas for Creating Money -- January 15, 2013

Ben Bernanke confided on January 14 that he is unaware of any new method of stimulating economic growth. Bernanke said: “As far as I’m aware, there’s no completely new method that we haven’t [already tapped].” So Helicopter Ben has run out of innovative and unconventional ways to create new money. Lest you be tempted to breathe a bit easier, however, rest assured that the now conventional method of quantitative easing, involving the Fed’s monthly purchase of $85 billion worth of mortgage-backed and U.S. government securities, seems to be working just fine according to Bernanke and he foresees its continuation. Noting the stubbornly high unemployment rate combined with the low inflation rate in the U.S. economy, Bernanke stated, “That is the case for being aggressive, which we are trying to do.” Although he is “cautiously optimistic,” he does promise to closely monitor the risks, efficacy, costs, and benefits of this inflationary policy.

I guess the rapid asset price run-up in stock and commodities markets, which are nearly back to financial bubble levels, and booming farmland prices do not count in Bernanke’s benefit-cost calculus. More likely, Bernanke accounts them as a benefit, which, via the “wealth effect,” will induce another debt-driven consumption spree on the part of the American public that will stimulate economic growth, i.e., create another bubble economy.

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Snowden: You can't trust SPOOKS with your DATA

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Trollface

Re: Surveilance is not my primary concern

What? It's not too late?

Tell you what:

1) Go into a company

2) "IMMA HUV PROBLEMS WITH MUH MAIL"

3) "Ok, why not move everything to the Microsoft cloud...."?

4) "But what about the NSA?"

5) "Yeah, but think of the CONVENIENCE, man!"

6) ....

7) SOLD!

8) Your face when.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: Surveilance is not my primary concern

Newsflash: Too late.

You can relax now.

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They've only done their job as mandated by US politicians, and done it well.

Even in a purely US-centric view, compiling dossiers like Hacker Heydrich on US people in full violation of anything their mandate and the constitution says about these kind of activities as well as alienating "overseas friends" (more like useful idiots kept in line by greenback splurges, amirite) by basically behaving like Greys coming back night after night for a good probing is NOT "doing your job well", except in Restaurant-Serving-Stray-Cats-For-Expediency kind of way.

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Bletchley Park board member quits amid TNMOC split-off spat

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Trollface

Re: Smoke?

The Concrete Jungle

Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Finally I can't stand it anymore. "Well?" I demand.

"A fellow I used to know, his name was Ulyanov, once said something rather profound" Angleton looks like the cat that's swallowed the canary — and the feet are sticking out of the side of his mouth; he wants me to know this, whatever it is. "Let your enemies sell you enough rope to hang them with."

"Uh, wasn't that Lenin?" I ask.

A flicker of mild irritation crosses his face. "This was before he took that name," he says quietly. Clack. Clack. Clack. He flicks the balls to set them banging again and I suddenly realise what they are and feel quite sick. No indeed, Bridget and Harriet — and Bridget's predecessor, and the mysterious Mr McLuhan — won't be troubling me again. (Except in my nightmares about this office, visions of my own shrunken head winding up in one of the director's executive toys, skull clattering away eternally in a scream that nobody can hear anymore . . . ) "Bridget's been plotting a boardroom coup for a long time, Robert. Probably since before you joined the Laundry — or were conscripted." He spares Josephine a long, appraising look. "She suborned Harriet, bribed McLuhan, installed her own corrupt geas on Voss. Partners in crime, intending to expose me as an incompetent and a possible security leak before the Board of Auditors, I suppose — that's usually how they plan it. I guessed this was going on, but I needed firm evidence. You supplied it. Unfortunately, Bridget was none too stable; when she realised that I knew, she ordered Voss to remove the witnesses then summoned McLuhan and proceeded with her palace coup d'état. Equally unfortunately for her, she failed to correctly establish who my line manager was before she attempted to go over my head to have me removed." He taps the sign on the front of the desk: PRIVATE SECRETARY. Keeper of the secrets. Whose secrets?

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Alert

Oc ourse not. What is being said is that females may smoothen the talk a bit, allowing a consensus to be reached.

Of course, if the female is a true-blooded Honored Matre, this may backfire.

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X marks the... They SAID there was a mystery planet there – NASA

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Headmaster

Re: A-Ha!

Don't name drop and don't be boring!

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Trollface

Orbiting trollface

You do need to start looking closer to home, dear!

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Destroy All Monsters
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A-Ha!

A medium-mass black hole!

Very convenient for sucking hyperdrives out of passing spaceships.

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Euro cops on free Wi-Fi not-so-hotspots: For pity's sake, don't use them for email

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Re: SSL?

It should be secure enough.

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'Hacked docs' prove MtGox has 1 MILLION Bitcoins, claim blog-snatchers

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Re: The Bankers 1 BitCoin 0

The horrible truth is: THERE WAS NO PLAN

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: In the meantime - back on the farm

Do I sound like a Guardian journalist yet?

Very shitty. Try again. Work on reconciling the "freetard" concept with the creation of a payment system.

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Holmes

This is the biggest load of obvious bollocks I've seen since The Times' "Qatar Dream League"

Did you read the fine uh... work ... about Kevin Mitnick, called "Takedown?". Written by NYT's John Markoff and someone called Tsutomu Shimomura? You must!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

"how a female asshole can become transferred onto my brother's rear end"

Clearly, we need to know more. Can anyone look into this?

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Mt Gox fielded MASSIVE DDOS attack before collapse

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It's all Obama's fault!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Rumors that Mt Gox was doing a bit of fractional reserve banking on the side...

This is correct.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: Rumors that Mt Gox was doing a bit of fractional reserve banking on the side...

Or just the safe being emptier than it should be in the first place: loaning out the money one should keep in the vault so that dosh can be made for oneself --- while praying that not all the depositors will demand their money back at the same time.

The reason for why "bank runs" happen and, today, basically large orders are suddenly placed to printshops by politicians getting the cold sweats.

"transaction malleability" sounds suspiciously like exactly that. I have no idea whether bitcoin technically allows this.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Rumors that Mt Gox was doing a bit of fractional reserve banking on the side...

Anything to it?

Bitcoin Banking

The claim that Mt. Gox was operating with fractional reserves came as shocking to some. After all, the exchange functioned by providing a shared wallet for depositors. Each time a deposit was made in bitcoin, the proceeds were moved to the shared wallet. This wallet was safely stored offline (“cold storage”) so that hackers could not gain access to them. In addition, a very high percentage of bitcoin was supposedly stored in this way – up to 98% by some claims – with only a small amount held online to facilitate withdrawals and other transactions.

In theory, since almost all of the bitcoin were held safely offline by Mt. Gox, the “bitcoin bank” should have been behaving like any standard full-reserve bank. The evidence over the past months proved this to be anything but the reality of the situation.

...

Mt. Gox is a little different. Despite holding the vast majority of its bitcoin securely in cold storage, its claim is that somehow these were stolen by someone. In standard fractional-reserve banking theory, the reason a less than 100% reserve is held is because the bank has knowingly made use of the deposited goods, not because hackers have prevailed in cracking an impervious safe. The dust will settle on what happened to the bitcoins deposited with Mt. Gox. For now I will let Occam´s razor prevail in providing me with an answer to the whereabouts of the missing coins.

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Trollface

Re: Burning Chrome

In this case, Burning Gox!

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Tim Cook and Israeli PM commune with the GHOST of Steve Jobs

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Re: Hmm, bit of a translation error there

Maybe something like this?

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Destroy All Monsters
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WTF?

WHAT CAN IT MEAN?

Netanyahu then quipped: "You can't ask that of government."

Is this a "you can but nothing will happen" or a "you better not ask that, buddy, or else... ".

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Plod foils drone drug drop down under

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"A man, a woman, a quadracopter and a bag of illicit drugs"

"A movie with Samuel Jackson"

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Court allows EFF to keep donor list secret from patent troll

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Re: i am sure spotify has done this before the application was even made

In the current climate, holding a single coherent thought is worthy of Intellectual Property protection.

I don't know why that is.

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Re: Irony much?

If you cheer this ruling, you need to take a good look in the mirror.

I didn't see anything untoward.

Hold on.. did you take a good look in the mirror? Are you, maybe a patent troll sockpuppet??

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Sysadmins and devs: Do these job descriptions make any sense?

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Excellent!

This will tell what boxes the witlessly bored lady just out of the 4-year social studies parcours and now mysteriously in charge of interviewing your for the job wants to seehear ticked off.

Now, one just has to pass the phrenology and graphology tests!

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Who loves office space? Dell does: Virtualization to banish workstations from under desks

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Re: Eggs in one basket

This won't work for "the cloud" anyhow, since there you typically don't have the multi-megabit bandwidths you'd need for that.

Wut?

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The long war on 'DRAM price fixing' is over: Claim YOUR spoils now (It's worth a few beers)

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Big Brother

Meanwhile, tweeting from the federal gun grab in Missouri....

What if I, as a buyer, was actually OKAY WITH THE PRICE I PAID!

Am I now a government-despising scum that is an insult to western civilization or its remains?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Wasn't this settled years ago???

Did you inform the IRS to enjoy suitable taxation?

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I NEVER DONE BITCOIN, says bloke fingered by new Newsweek

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Re: Free lunch

But would you accept freedom fries and a liberty sandwich?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Total speculation

There are literally billions in unclaimed property in the US

QUICK! PASS A LAW! THIS NEEDS TO BE SEIZED FORTHWITH!

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Windows 8.1 Update 1 spewed online a MONTH early – by Microsoft

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Secure boot makes it potentially more secure than any other OS on the market.

Saddam has potentially a specially crafted industrial infrastructure driving around in the desert at night, producing chemical weapons!

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Re: So what's in it?

We finally discovered someone who uses the Windows Key!

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The land of Milk and Sammy: Free music app touted by Samsung

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Re: Music Tastemakers?

This is why we can't have nice things.

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Dell thuds down low-cost lap workstation for cheap frugal creatives or engineers

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Paris Hilton

Re: As a lesser mortal...

Anything involving "big data" maybe? Moderatly large databases involving GIS. Stuff like that.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: low cost?

Good! Otherwise it would be £1,799 (but you would get the "proudly taxed in Yurop" sticker FOR FREE!)

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: What's the point?

> Costs 1/3 of the cost of the dell, has higher spec.

Yep, pigs fly low. The entire hardware costs less than the Windows + Office license(1)

Although...

> Windows 8

Well...

1: license only for a wheelchair-bound differently abled person who cannot use hands or feet - check at Microsoft.com whether you are using the appropriate license - ; one language only; you may not use a keyboard or mouse; no running in virtual machines allowed; you must use the Outlook Abortion on Penalty of Injury; license sticker must be duly applied in the middle of the flat screen; additional charges and random BSA audits not included)

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Twitter blew $36m on patents to avoid death by lethal injunction

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FAIL

36 million bucks for nothing

Because - is there anything in Twitter that can be considered patentable?

"Companies in the Internet, technology and media industries own large numbers of patents, copyrights, trademarks and trade secrets"

Hey Twitter! You cannot "own" a trade secret. You can "hold" it, maybe.

On second thoughts, you cannot own any other "Intellectual Property" claims either. It's "Intellectual" (until suddenly it isn't - your thoughts are mine, all mine etc.).

"We presently are involved in a number of intellectual property lawsuits, and as we face increasing competition and gain an increasingly high profile, we expect the number of patent and other intellectual property claims against us to grow," Twitter said.

Translation: we are not really competing at all, we are just running this protection racket on the side.

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Twin GEEKS: NASA studies identical brothers – one on Earth, one IN SPAAAACE

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Re: So the one who goes to space will be younger, right?

No. Because "going to space" only is meaningful in Kerbal Universe.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Long Range Foundation?

The US dollar would deflate like a hormone chicken.

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Destroy All Monsters
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I wish Philip K. Dick would still write.

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Women! You too can be 'cool' and 'fun' if you work in tech!

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Trollface

Also, another realistic portrayal of the career-driven woman: she’s completely alone. Having given up things like being a good wife and choosing instead to build whatever the hell it was she built in the movie, she ends up in her 40s, facing death in outer space, crying at the idea that nobody is left on Earth who will miss her or say a prayer for her.

That part is spot on.

This is why alcohol exists.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Childcatcher

As the EU leadership doesn't think that childraising is an activity of any particular merit whatsoever (should the population drop, one can just import little brown people from abroad), moving large chunks of the female population into Socialistically Powerful Worker Positions will embiggen the Yurop's GDP immensely and make it The Powerhouse of Intellectual Endeavours Worldwide!! This will pay down the monstrously grown incubating xenomorphs of state and private debt, assure the inflated salaries of the 30% working in nonproductive state jobs via appropriate tax revenues, and, if allied with cunning inflationary manoeuvers, enable the payout of the much-promised pensions at nominal values.

VICTORY HAIL!

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Paris Hilton

Re: The bleedin' obvious reason...

Do you mean to say that female employee will be given the boot presto?

Next: Campaigns bemoaning that fact that 100% of jobs are occupied by humans.

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Paris Hilton

Maybe a triumph!

Isn't that Chell from Portal???

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