* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

13348 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: The problem is there is nothing better.

Woah there.

If you think systemd is a problem for Linux, you are not really in the right spirit.

It's not the best of ideas but it can be tamed. Then somethign better will come along (can I get my Prolog-based startup scritping NOW???) and life will go on.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Shitting on weather forecasters isn't enough

COMEDY GOLD!

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Trollface

HEAR HEAR!

Hear from a nonWin PC, that is.

Meanwhile my other PC is applying the latest "re-apply WIndows 10 upgrade offer nagware" "important fixes". It fails at applying it though (KB3035583)

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Microsoft phone support contractors told to hang up after 15 minutes

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Being paid to march

Aren't you thinking of the Prussian Stechschritt?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: rubbish

Could Quantum Calls be the explanation?

If the call duration has positive modulus but is actually complex-valued, computing the sum, squaring, then averaging might still yield the missing 15 minutes!

Or maybe we need Nixon...

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Curiosity find Mars' icecaps suck up its atmosphere

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: So ...

That's from "Right Red Hand" by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

On a gathering storm comes

a tall handsome man

In a dusty black coat with

a red right hand

That doesn't sound like Trump at all.

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Is uBeam the new Theranos?

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Trollface

Serbia Strong!

Wasn't it showman and neurotic inventor-cum-engineer Nikola Tesla who ripped a steel block apart at a New York demonstration using sound waves?

Maybe one of his lost inventions are BACK ON THE TABLE!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Unicorns would spell "was itself prove that" as "was itself proof that".

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: Hype

It may prove to be an idea that sounds good on paper

I see what you did there.

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A cracked window on the International Space Station? That's not good

Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

But Kim can just dial up some beautiful women whenever he wants so, unlike for loner nerds, his nastiness doesn't need to become excessive.

One or two lost satellites the owners could hush up, but after there's been four taken out, it becomes a bit more difficult to deny there's a problem.

Nobody "hushes up" lost satellites. Why? Because investors and customers need assurance that orbital stuff works and stays working (plus, insurance claims may come due).

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Transparent ALUMINUM?

And now I just NEED those Jefferies Tubes. Maybe with Xenomorphs inside.

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Russia faces Ukraine and Georgia in Eurovision deathmatch

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Trollface

Re: Discrimination!

This year would appear to be its Kursk.

Why, are you expecting the 2nd and 1st SS Tank Division to fight on the side of Eurovsion?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

The suffering, I feel it.

"This song is precisely what we are all suffering in Ukraine today."

Phew, lad!

Well, I am sure the Azov battalion agrees.

Anyway, this should yield some epic disses.

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Salesforce.com crash caused DATA LOSS

Destroy All Monsters
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Unfortunately by the time that decision was made, things were in a real mess.

Many nuclear reactors have died to bring us this message.

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Dwarf planet intumesces before astronomers' gaze

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Merlot

Ok, as long as Beaujolais Nouveau can be avoided.

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Compression tool 7-Zip pwned, pain flows to top security, software tools

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Mushroom

2016

BUFFER OVERFLOWS ARE A THING!

Really!

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Marc Benioff apologizes as Salesforce NA14 instance goes TITSUP

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Paris Hilton

A "Droopy" event or a "Droppy" event?

I am NOT happy.

Meanwhile, it seems NA14 has been up for a couple of hours now.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

That's amazing downtime

Was it a hit by a dirty player?

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Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

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Trollface

Fist of God!

Sure looks like a penetration in the Ringworld.

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Gartner waves for everyone to join its hyper-converged bandwagon

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Windows

Oh yeah?

Like this is going to be in NO WAY affected by the upcoming mega bubble pop of the cheap money shitters WHICH NOBODY COULD HAVE FORESEEN.

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

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Re: Wonderful

If NATO deploys into Ukraine, the "loaned area" might well extend up to Kiev all of a sudden.

You just don't fuck around with the military interest and need of strategic leeway of an ex-super-centralized state that doesn't particularly trust you, then play nonchalant while letting your generals pump aggressive messages into the aether and having the press/TV (clearly heavily freedomized if not dogwaggified) issue incendiary commentary.

Funny how these things always happen during Olympic Games, too.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Two steps forward...

Meanwhile, at the "Pivot to Asia":

US Pivot to Asia Poised to Enter Nuclear Phase

Hmm... US to deploy first-strike-capable tactical nuclear weapons in the Pacific Theatre. What could go wrong?

We need an icon for "warming"

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Tabby's Star's twinkle probably the boring business of calibration

Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: And this is why there is no global warming

Hmmmm....

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: But why would it show a consistent decline over 100 years?

The fun with random is that they are sometimes nonrandom to our meaty pattern matcher.

In this case, the recent Twinkle Action is of interest (with obscuring comets unlikely to be the cause, so El Reg headline is a case of churnalistic errorbait), but the long-term secular "dimming" is not peculiar or distinguishable from noise when one compares against other stars in the archive.

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ICANN knifes Africa's internet: New top-level domains terminated

Destroy All Monsters
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ICANN is a riot

I guess firing the whole lot would just set new precedents in bold steps towards "upgrading productivity and flexibility" unseen since the collapse of the Soviet Union.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Pirate

Re: uggghhh

Palestinians are actually not "state actors".

Now that the two state solution has gone to the shitteris encountering strong challenges from the realities on the terrain, this is unlikely to change....

Death's head because, you know, free-fire zones, most moral army and all that.

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Japanese artist fined for virtual vagina files

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Headmaster

Film at 11

People have sexual organs and also an oppressive desire to use them.

In truth, the law of "no showing of things" comes from the American Occupation. Or so I hear.

(That occupation also worked hand-in-hand with class A war criminals to get some societal control. Americans are nothing if not pragmatic. Paper Clippy concurs. But that's just by-the-by.)

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Microsoft half-bricks Asus Windows 7 PCs with UEFI boot glitch

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Re: No, but seriously ...

Intel is very Coreboot-unfriendly.

Feels bad, man.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Pirate

Re: Is the cure worse than the sickness?

Don't be a Dough Pirate!

Only buy Monsanto-branded Monsanto Dough!

And remember: rooting your toaster is a criminal offense!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Happy

Re: A deal with the devil

No, it's deliberate.

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Sick and tired of modern Windows? Upgrade to Windows 3.1 today – in your web browser

Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

Эй - начальник!!

> And a big shout out to Bill Gates for creating Windows

Bill Gates was not particularly involved in creating Windows, there were crazy cellar monkeys hacking up a semi-functional system while be was talking to IBM about how to bring OS/2 (and PM) to market.

Also, I find this kind of arm-raising salutes disturbing.

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Windows 10 free upgrade offer ends on July 29th

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Windows

Re: People will do what they did before

Probably counting each parked domain name showing IIS running as a unique server.

Who not totally skill-less and/or in dire need of running MS-SQL because of "compatibility" issues would be running WIndows Server?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

The Last of Us

Microsoft has announced that the free all-you-can-eat Windows 10 upgrade buffet will close forever

More like "just what we give" buffet?

US$119 is the price Redmond has set for the Home version of the operating system

HA HA HA! Well incited, Redmond!

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Official: Microsoft's 'Get Windows 10' nagware to vanish from PCs in July

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Trollface

Re: SatNad is my favorite M$ CEO EVER!!1!

Maybe he's Matt Bryant in shiney new clothes?

Can't be, there is no unwarranted dissing of everything Sun, no mention of "dead-end Sunshiners", no egotisitic strutting as "most hardcore admin in the West who always knew this" and no "Oracle did it first, Oracle is the best, the BEST!" ebullient enthusiasm for the red-colored House of Harkonnen.

Dadmin is rather reasonable.

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Destroy All Monsters
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The Redmond Leviathan announces...

"Start thinking for yourself and you might find Windows 10 OK."

This politicial message brought to you from the bowels of the beast.

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Destroy All Monsters
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WTF?

Re: Timing?

" it will take time to ramp it down."

It's like "ethnic cleansing" in that respect.

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'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: SAM Broadcaster? And the moral is...

XP Embedded made it easy to build a system that's pretty much invulnerable

This is some kind of sicko joke, right?

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Destroy All Monsters
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FAIL

Re: I quite like Windows 10

Some eejitconfused co-citizen says:

Windows 7 is pretty ancient by IT standards

Did you mean to say "Windows 7 is pretty ancient by Microsoft marketing standards"?

I don't want to diss the probably excellently skilled and extensively manicured as well as quite likely female-by-a-high-percentage Microsoft marketing section, but these people are fuck bonkers crazy and no mistake.

Some other eejitfukken dumbass says:

The best test is to give a computer to a child and see if they can use it in a proficient manner quickly

A child can also proficiently use a suicide vest. I think we have reached the bottom of the retardation now.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: Barrel. Scraped.

Are you seriously running a mission-critical server on a box with a consumer desktop version of Windows installed on it? You are aware that there are versions of Windows that have "Server" in the name? Why do you think that is?

Another version that's just not fit for mission-critical operations, just with a different price tag to re-enable "features consumers are not interested in"?

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Destroy All Monsters
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OROROROROROROOOOOOOUUAAHHhhh~~~!

Just looking at the El Reg headlines reveals how utterly toxic and dis-empowering "consumer IT" has become.

Like getting rogered repeatedly by a cloudy, decadently embroidered and patent-encumbered elephant in must who demands money, proceeds to action, then pisses on you once his immediate needs have been fulfilled.

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'Apple ate my music!' Streaming jukebox wipes 122GB – including muso's original tracks

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: 122GB ? Pah. Windows 10 OneDrive client ate over 200GB of my files!

Wrutten by .Net munkeys possibly so codekewl that they dropped out of uni as the material was too abstract, now hidden inside the bowel of the Redmond beast and lorded over by the marketing barons of interconnectedness and cloud sharing. Yes, GiBs will be lost.

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'Bitcoin creator' Craig Yeah Wright in meltdown

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Re: Of course

Maybe he totally, utterly believes he is SN (as some people believe they are the Messiah and pull others along in their mesmerizing slipstream), but whenever he turns around and tries to prove it, reality conspires to thwart him!

It would be like a protagonist of a PKD novel. Just get romantically involved with young girls and add a bit of the IoT to make it complete.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Big Brother

CRAIGH WRIGHT DID NOTHING WRONG!

He will be back as a politician.

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Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Soooooo.......

WHEN YOU TRY TO BOMB A SMART CITY, IT ACTUALLY BOMBS YOU BACK!

Smart cities are disliked by Coalitions of the Willing and other astroturf outfits.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Re: What a fantastic lark!

My Tesla would certainly fit into my smart city while I admire the sunset from my cyberterrasse tended by robogardeners which excusitely cut the leaves of bioengineered salad growing in my sustainable conapt microgarden, with the IoT fridge loudly wifiing out for more lettuce!

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Microsoft: Why we tore handy Store block out of Windows 10 Pro PCs

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Re: I've come to the conclusion

Microsoft search revenue rose by 18%.

How much in real terms?

Also, Granny will be off the Internet once the Upgrade to Win10 has knackered the network interface for good (as happend in this here VAIO which is not in the list of system approved for Win10 but definitely in the list of system that pester you to upgrade to Win10 ... INTO THE TRASH IT GOES)

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Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Why is "Calculator" even an "App"? The fall into the black hole of stupid continues unabated.

Anyway, use a proper language and a REPL (like groovysh) for fastest help in arithmetic.

Programs imitating physical calculator devices of the 80's are just naff.

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Review legacy code: Waking dragons is risk worth taking, says Trainline ops head

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Feature triggers uninstall

This is a handy feature, don't diss it!

> Bug detected in production system

> Instant uninstall

> "Pub o'clock, it seems"

Also, this article needs a powerpoint presentation with more info.

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Monster Cloud and an angry customer wanting a refund: A Love Story

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: It's a one man band

Time for some due diligence and go ring at the company door.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: "Everyone's an Engineer"

> Rockstar Coders, Ninja Sysadmins, Database Gurus

Avoid anything like that, and if given half the occasion, burn it with fire!

This is why I barf when IEEE design up another advertisement for

★ ★ ★ Rockstars of [some IT stuff] ★ ★ ★.

(Next up: "Rockstars of Counterinsurgency", "Ninjas of Extraordinary Rendition", "Mavericks of Legalized Illegal Surveillance", "Gurus of Quantitative Easing" etc.)

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