* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

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Trollface

Re: Sounds like a scene from a film I watched recently...

More leathery, more wrinkly, more door-closey ... more deadly!!

***Harrison Ford in "Pak Protector" ***

Now in movie theaters worldwide ... should you choose to be in the same room as popcorn-munching, texting, chatting, fighting, Pokémonning, annoying and uncough yoof!!!

(OTOH the odd ISIS adherent or depressed up-armed youngster might make this an unforgettable near-death experience or beyond!!! FEAR!!)

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Paris Hilton

Be advised: Doors in Star Wars may close prematurely or not at all.

A court in Milton Keynes was told today that the 78-year-old had passed through a door of the spacecraft

"Pretend Spacecraft", please ... "Fantasycraft" is more appropriate, even.

pinning him to the floor with "the weight of a small car"

A small European or a small American car? And why does the door need that many Newtons?

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Coat

Re: Eh? What?

It's good this didn't happen in the airlock!

It's 2016 and your passwords can still be sniffed from wireless keyboards

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Unhappy

I love the wireless, but I suspect wired is the only way

"XOR encryption in certain Microsoft wireless keyboards."

Oy vey ... I am not surprised.

Logitech are confusing because they have their special radio dongle which is not really Bluetooth and they ALSO have Bluetooth keyboards (Bluetooth security having its own problems which suspiciously sound as if someone was trying to keep it insecure; nah, can't be... )

Now, how hard is it to crack either of these systems??

Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs

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Holmes

Actually some show the column on the bottom line, for example.

"Bottom" brings us to:

Significant whitespace: when you are using a bondage & discipline language and you have forgotten the safe word.

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Gimp

Re: I got goosepimples

Which one?

I'm off for a rewatch of "War Games".

I hope they are going to do a redo, were General Breedlove gets to tell to a P.U.T.I.N. evilly appearing on a Megavision Screen "You may have nothing to do with with our shitty software breakdown, but we are going to nuke your Russian arse regardless, just to make sure.", then POTUS comes online and confirms the world's fate in a girlish, evil cackle: "Take that for my good friend Toria Nuland". Armageddon is then NOT postponed by the love duo of skilled youngsters because they have been dragged off to a secret court for "terrorism" in full gimp gear a couple of minutes earlier.

THE END!!!

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It's always "LEAD", never "LEED" or "ELLEEDEE" (but that may be because I have been touched by German).

How to read stuff out on a wrapped wire board back then was:

From Jimbo's Amazing Shoppe Of Stuffe

The very latest on the DNC email conspiracy. Which conspiracy? All of them, of course!

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Gimp

DNC is anti-somatic? On the contrary!!++

Be ready for La Clinton's version of Israel's "Megaphone":

Be nice to Hillary Clinton online — or risk a confrontation with her super PAC

You hear, El Reg?

Crashed and alone in a remote location: When paid help is no help

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Thumb Up

That photo looks like something from "Dear Esther", with a better engine

Effing rooohmanthic!!

Linux 4.7 lands

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Re: Cool

Linux becomes Cactux?

Tinder porn scam: Swipe right for NOOOOOO I paid for what?

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Headmaster

Yeah, about that.

explains Satnam Narang, senior security response manager at Symantec

Did Symantec roll out the patches for the month-old "open door policy via antivirus" fucking-extreme-out-there-buggeration yet?

Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

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Headmaster

Re: What should have been written in this article.

Continued life for old hardware for the indefinite future.

Did you mean "Hoping for continued life for old hardware" but actuality you are getting "Godot Driver Updates" while the resource hogging kills your shit hardware dead in the very definite future (like, the next 2 months or so).

Access to the Windows Store

Access to crudville: GRANTED!

Edge browser, if that's your thing.

Edgy browser, the same security sieve as the old bullshit code hairball.

Windows 7 updates get slower/stall every month. 10 works ok for now.

Become a valued member of liberal victim culture: Giving in to sabotage with a forcegrade mugging from your vendor is actually a plus when you reflect deeply about it! You are the MSF hospital being visited by the AC-130 Gunship of Peace and Understanding! Please leave a bleeding-heart comment expressing your liberal support at Thinkprogress.org!

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Unhappy

Re: "should you do it ?" Answer "No. of course not "

I fully agree.

How to tell the KDE people that Akonadi is a bad idea implemented horribly (especially as it likes to go into infinite loops burning 100% CPU at random times). Do I really need a daemon (probably written in unlinted C instead of in a language that actually can be used to describe such a high-level problem) scouring mails for birthday dates, then taking my whole machine with it.

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Devil

Re: Cue people complaining

If you work in IT you're just making yourself outdated.

Don't confuse IT with wank-driven hipster webshit outfit only steaming ahead because of negative-interest-rate-policy.

It willl be gone tomorrow.

Luckily.

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Big Brother

Re: Calculator issues?

It tells us that people will accept ANY festering pile that comes wrapped in marketdroid candy. They wouldn't even car if this meant all the data was going to a large datacenter in .... OOOHH, LOOK! A CHARIZARD!!!

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Mushroom

Makes me wanna puke

If those Redmond Happy Merchants gave me back all the time I lost dealing with "Install Windows 10" nagware, I could take a 6-month vacation. It's frankly unbelievable that this kind of behaviour has become accepted practice and does not result in billion-dollar fines, lawsuits and generally an immense Pokéballing.

Never ever ever trust those guys!

People installing Win10 willing are FEMA trailer sheeple.

Diablo conjures up hell of a DIMM: 128GB NAND pretend-RAM summoned

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Re: What's the point?

You seem to not be the target market.

Financials? Military? Government/Federal/EU?

"Money" is not a problem (it's someone else's anyway).

Handover of US internet control to ICANN officially blocked in Republican policy

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Facepalm

"Color Revolutions" emerging from US embassies and all that

"The Information Freedom Highway"

This relabeling just jumps the sharkiest of sharks.

Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

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Re: Chasing?

They do not move and there is no need to chase them.

I have to say I am somewaht disappointed. That would have been a very nice feature, though I can imagine it would lead to accidents. It's hard enough to navigate with a GPS-enabled electronic map while keeping an eye on the road and making absolutely sure that the cognitive task list for handling "what's out there" is prioritized over the cognitive task list for handling "what's on the little screen".

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Pint

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. call of Pokemon

Situated in the exclusion Zone of the Chernobyl, you have to collect them all, fighting radioactivity, Azov Battalion True Believers, lesser Banderistas, random Oligarch Muscle and tired policemen who just want to go home.

Keep "Guranteed Pure Ukrainian" vodka on the ready!

Scalr hosting hit with outage

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Headmaster

Webservers in the cloud are pretty mundane, anyone wishing "good luck with that" should pull their finger out of the arse and get with the program labeled "post-2010" double quick.

And aren't webservers "in the cloud" in any case?

Gaming apps, mugging and bad case of bruised Pokéballs

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Re: shutterstock_238128856_phone_theft.jpg

Yeah, because they should not hire "black" people, they should hire "good" people.

If hiring black people means you get mugged on the job, your HR department either is not very good or has drunk the "affirmative action" cool aid.

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Windows

It's like a gerbil, only w/o the Richard Gere part.

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Trollface

Re: The whole thing

but forking out $100 for a Battleship in World of Warships for example is beyond me

Well, gov't is forking out hundreds of your dollars for an F-35 that doesn't even really exist on your behalf, and you won't even be able to sit in its cockpit, ever.

So, where is the better deal?

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Based ony our e-mail contents, we have determined that the nearest Pokestop is in this undisclosed "special rendition" CIA site. Just go down this flight of stairs!

BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

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Coat

Re: Where's teh carpet and lime?

uncovered what appeared to be human remains…

I find it inconceivable that there may still be humans in or around the Greater London Area. What will our tentacled brain-frying squamous overlord say if this gets out!

Icon because that's not a coat, that's me arranging my tentacles.

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Re: Erm...

"Too soon"

So, can we talk about the the Turkish Coup Attempt, then?

Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

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Windows

It's the 21st century all right

Am I in a fucking movie by Mamoru Oshii?

Military coups in Turkey are/were of course a regional tradition (ABC is helpfully rolling out the résumé) and the sad part is that I don't even know who is the least bad guy here (is this the Chile feel? Why yes it is!)

Let the Turkish People decide, then!

Did mock cop bot trot on fraught tot? Maybe not

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Terminator

That bot looks suitably menacing

A bit like Max from Disney's "The Black Hole" but without the hovering magic and the scissorhands.

But is really cheaper than hiring a proper security guard who can at least pack some heat?

And why doesn't it have "cop bodycams" which would should the nasty kid running rings around it?

Ban ISPs from 'speeding up' the internet: Ex-Obama tech guru

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Windows

You know it's an A.O. article when

You scroll and things like this jump out: The moral of the story is that you can’t create wise regulation through rhetoric. When you choose metaphors, and sometimes this is unavoidable, they need to be grounded in reality. With progressive arts grads making internet policy, this has been ignored: the rhetoric is all.

There is no need to check the author's name.

But I actually agree this time.

Silently clicking on porn ads you can't even see – this could be you...

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Windows

Reporting on this is now going into oversaturation...

... it's as if this were a presidential debate on prime crud TV on "What did you wear on the night Ambassador Stevens was blown sky high?"

Boris Johnson 'NIGHTMARE'

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Coat

Re: Hilarious

What is that? Did we invade yet another foreign country based on "sexed-up" evidence??

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Windows

Re: In case Charles Stross reads this column

Which story was that? Unless you are talking tentacle sex?

Go catch Pokemon in this, nerds: Our space neighborhood of 1.2m galaxies mapped in 3D

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Windows

Meditative Drone Tone

the size of baryonic acoustic oscillations (BAO) in galaxies as they expand out from the center of the universe

Unless that center lies literally somewhere along the fourth dimension (about 15 billion lightyears away, natch) there is something wrong here. Don't these BAOs appear as standing waves in the galaxy gas?

I like to think that somewhere in that large mapped volume, there is the perfect little italian village in which to pass one's vacation...

P.S. Here is Frank Wilczek talking about the energy content of the vacuum and reminiscing about Feynman.

Ivory tower drops water bombs on dumpster fire

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Mushroom

Concealed Carry? No Longer!

THE PITCHFORKS ARE OUT AND THEY AIN'T GOING BACK.

High-falutin politically correct "liberal" (in the US-stlye) clowns of the nontrepreneur or the professional gov-supported cultural marxist sort have ignored the down-to-earth flyover country rubes for too long.

PAYBACK TIME! POPCORN!

SOME BABY IS GONNA GET THROWN OUT WITH THE BATHWATER

... BUT!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE OMELETTE WITHOUT BREAKING SOME EGGS as skilled bomberette Condi Rice once said (Yvy league, piano player, whiter than quite a few of the pretend-white metrosexuals around me at the time of the present tweeting. Ans she wasn't even holding forth with Mr. Hilter on the balcony of the Axis Café.)

... And that's before we even get to the point where supporting Hillary is basically treason and pining for Israel-supported neoconnery and war machinations in Europe and Asia (to the detriment of the hapeless Yuropeans, more or less Merkelated if not Emasculated by his Biggness Obama, and whatever Asian country can be dragooned into the Pivot to Asia freakshow). But that's just by the by!

Microsoft wins landmark Irish data slurp warrant case against the US

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Trollface

Re: this ain't over yet

I wonder what a landwar in Ireland looks like.....

Hmm... downvotes.

Not sure whether by Brits who want to invade again - this time for good, Yanks who remember Vietnam, US Irish who don't want to drown their ancestors'' island in Agent Orange, Yanks who know nothing, Brits pining for the Empire on which the Sun Never Sets, Scots getting a sour feeling when somebody mentions an invasion, or just P.U.T.I.N. downvoting everthing to give everyone a hard time?

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Trollface

Re: this ain't over yet

I wonder what a landwar in Ireland looks like.....

You can buy Windows 10 Enterprise E3 access for the price of a coffee

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Facepalm

Re: you pay 7 bucks for a coffee?

Excel is a swiss knife type tool every accountant knows on a level you would not master in years.

Yes, the blood stains and finger pieces in the accounting sector show that this is the case!

88% of spreadsheets have errors

Excel: A bad idea, implemented badly, used badly by herd mentality people who want to have nothing to do with "programming" and actually believe fitting complex dataflow logic into a harebrained 2D schema with hidden and impenetrable interrelations (and design faults galore) is ABSOLUTELY NOT PROGRAMMING.

White hat hacker AI bots prepare for DARPA's DEF CON cyber brawl

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Headmaster

I didn't know that bugs come in "types".

You had BETTER look at the code itself. It's damned easier to find a problem if you have the code than finding the same problem if you don't. "Hacks" don't appear from nowhere (unless its' 1000 monkey hacking). The attacker will get the spec, then think a) about how the spec could fail or b) how the developer could fail in implementing the spec. Attacks via b) are best reduced by formal methods or code inspection.

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Windows

"cyber reasoning system"

In my times, these were called "expert systems".

What cyber marketing guru cyber invents these cyber word monstrosities?

CloudFlare probes mystery interception of site traffic across India

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Big Brother

Oh yeah?

The Indian Government may have reason to target CloudFlare customers.

Governments always have reasons to target their citizens. Always.

It already begins with the fact that there is a "national debt" (debtless unborn life? You wish!).

Facebook deleted my post and made me confirm pics of my kids weren't sexually explicit

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Windows

I only have this (when The Zuck was 19):

Well, These New Zuckerberg IMs Won't Help Facebook's Privacy Problems

via this blogpost

Logging Off by Anatoly Karlin

where we also get this nice text:

Finally, by rewiring so many first class brains from deep analytical mode to dopamine-seeking wisecrack mode – Charles Murray and even (ironically) N. N. Taleb himself might be in the early stages of that – social media might have ultimately retarded progress. This is not to even mention the considerable cognitive effort that has been expended directly to develop and maintain Facebook and its various clones and applications like Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc. as well as Twitter, Instagram, etc. It certainly pales besides the epochal misallocation of cognitive resources that is the modern financial sector, but it is probably quite considerable nonetheless.

Finally, it would be remiss in an extended critique of social media not to touch upon its increasingly cataclysmic political aspects.

In the past five years, social media have become ever more overt instruments of the globalist elites and their geopolitical and domestic agendas. Increasingly, they operate under the principle of “For my friends, everything; for my enemies, the law.” For instance, Russian nationalists who still maintain active Facebook accounts are far likelier to get hit with bans than their Ukrainian counterparts and other assorted color revolutionaries (see above). Ergo for Twitter, even though there has never been a Russian or Novorossiyan equivalent of the #banderakaratel campaign. This goes in tandem with support for pro-Western revolutionary forces across Eurasia, China, and the Islamic world. Ultimately, the major information companies are almost all US based, so it is only natural that they would seek to cater to American geopolitical interests. And needless to say, the Chinese and Russian governments use the tools they have at their disposal, such as domestic alternatives (Vkontakte, Sina Weibo, etc) and a policy of either banning foreign companies entirely (China) or making them keep their data on their own territory (Russia). It might be pointless to rail against this state of affairs, but it is outright dishonest to pretend that geopolitically, social media is some sort of global kumbaya circle.

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Windows

Re: Enough

Let's go rather non-PC/non-SJW regarding this discussion with a valid point:

After Dallas, Time to Accept the Reality of Race

Here, for example, is Mark Dayton, the Governor of Minnesota, a former Senator from that state, a Democrat, and the living, breathing embodiment of the Midwestern Nice style—a style which, as I have opined before, may one day be the death of us all. He was holding a news conference Thursday, before the Dallas killings, about the Philando Castile shooting. Quote:

"Would this had happened if those passengers were white? I don’t think it would’ve. So I’m forced to confront, and I think all of us in Minnesota are forced to confront, [that] this kind of racism exists."

[Minnesota Governor On Philando Castile’s Death: He’d Still Be Alive Had He Been White, ThinkProgress, July 7, 2016]

The Governor is surely right: If Philando Castile had been white, he would most likely not have been shot. Listen to the cop’s voice on the post-shooting video. He’s scared. Probably he was scared when he looked in and saw he’d pulled over a young black guy.

He was right to be scared: Young black guys are far more dangerous than any other kind of driver—more impulsive, more aggressive, more likely to be armed. Again, just look at the crime stats.

Cops live with those stats. They know them. They know to be scared of young black men.

Governor Dayton calls that “racism.” Use any word you like, Gov. But for a cop to be extra scared, extra nervous, and yes, extra error-prone when confronting a young black man is ordinary common sense and self-preservation.

You would be too if you were a cop…which of course you’re not. You’re a career politician.

YouTube stars shilled for Warner Bros, screwed up, and now the FTC has written an angry letter

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Windows

"social media aces"

Sounds like a painful infection, possibly "down there". Will antibiotics help?

Teen thugs lure, rob Pokemon Go gamers

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Re: This manufactured Pokemon craze

You seem to be demeaning to Muslims and possibly TheEthnicityThatShallNotBeNamed?

IoT puts assembly language back on the charts

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Re: Apollo 11 AGC

I recommend reading

Digital Apollo: Human and Machine in Spaceflight for the full-fat context!

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Re: Run anywhere?

You mean programming a PDP-11 emulator, shirely?

(Might even be running on a RasPi ... or the emulator might be written in JavaScript for optimal browser experience ... )

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Headmaster

Re: Assembly Language?

It might have a generic C library on top, but to talk to the (custom) hardware like as not you will need assembler, and to write the lowest level c library functions.

This is 2016, not 1975 when "compilers" and "parser" where magic shit that had to live on tapes and function in 32KiB RAM.

Your statement just means you don't use the right DSL or can't be arsed to write one.

Any anyone who calls out for "tight code" in IoT nowadays is a few beers short of a sixpack. Unless the memory is expensive because it's radiation-hardened...

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Headmaster

Re: Run anywhere?

Java tends to be "run anywhere with _exactly_ the same version of JRE that the author used, on the same OS version, on the same hardware"

Well, that's obviously untrue otherwise the Apache project (or anyone else, for that matter) would never offer precompiled packages for download at all.

I don't know where you guys have been...

Pokemon Go oh no no no, we're not reading your email, says gamemaker

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Windows

Pokemon and Peekmon!

Someone downloaded a Pokestuff at work today but it was virus-laden. Cute!

The Rise of The Machines will not be performed by killbots managed by a Artificial Consciousness.

They will be cuddly pseudo-characters that casually kill you economically while they chatter in high-pitched voices.

A mixture between Agent Smith and Tribbles, maybe?