* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

14153 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Microsoft's Big Data-driven improvement efforts flounder

Destroy All Monsters
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"data-driven culture"

When I hear "data driven", I take the safety off my Browning.

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Malware menaces Merkel's minion, says Spiegel

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Trollface

That's ok!

Recent developments forbid that the NSA export the captured data from the Eurosphere and keep it in a European Datacentre. I'm sure it can be recovered.

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US Army bug hunters in 'state of fear' that sees flaws go unreported

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Mushroom

FULFILL MISSION OBJECTIVES!

These are people who have been trained to think that problems yield to willpower and a forceful attitude, that being "gung-ho", "aggressive" and a "team player" will ensure success. The lack of neocortical reasoning power often does not help. It's like a special school for attack dog PHBs from hell with a medal ribbon. Never work for these guys.

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Bacon can kill: Official

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Re: In the words of Vincent Vega

"A Chernobyl rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I wouldn't know because I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs are processed into bacon, and sausage. That's a filthy animal. I don't want to have nothing to do with any piece of an animal that gives you cancer when you eat it."

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Destroy All Monsters
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You seem to fear the Karma Police?

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Unhappy

Re: Getting cancer isn't even the worst part...

It is a sad fact of life that I know vegans who got cancer....

Cancer is the preferred failure mode of assemblies of self-reproducing, weakly error-checking von Neumann machines.

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Black Helicopters

Absolutely Haram!

It must be yet another Jewish/Muslim Conspiracy against the staple food of Central Europe / Asia

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TalkTalk attack: Lad, 15, cuffed by UK cyber-cops

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Trollface

Bobby Tables, 15, cuffed by TalkTalk hacking probe cops

Yep, it's him alright! He's going down!!

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New Horizons: Pluto? Been there, done that – now for something 6.4 billion km away

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Alien

...it would be a lucky hit though.

"Who wakes me .... it's 15 billion years in the morning??? THIS SHALL NOT STAND!"

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It's actually the hand of Allen Dulles.

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Re: Slow download speeds

The useful baud rate is 1kbps - or about 2Gbps of internet 'data'.

That doesn't make any sense.

Baud rate is always order of bps rate. The bps rate is not magically 6 orders of magnitude above (unless you are using millions of distinguishable values, which I rather doubt in this context)

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Is 'Thus Spake Zarathustra' ominuous enough?

The actual "music" is at here.

Yes, ominuous enuff. Please, blast it at the stars. As long as it has the B-Ark in its wake.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Alien

Hm! This artist's impression of a menacing globulous space rock being visted by New Horizons, vaguely squamous yet ruguous, uncannily lit from the wrong side while the sun is lost in a campy lens flare demands EXTRA OMINUOUS MUSIC.

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Further confusion at TalkTalk claims it was hit by 'sequential attack'

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Re: The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins

Isn't that some Frank Herbert?

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Mystery object re-entering atmosphere may be Apollo booster

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Windows

Third question at the Bridge of Death spanning the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

"What is the object re-entering Earth's atmosphere on November 13???"

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TalkTalk attack: 'No legal obligation to encrypt customer bank details', says chief

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Windows

Würst effort!

Appropriate technical and organisational measures shall be taken against unauthorised or unlawful processing of personal data and against accidental loss or destruction of, or damage to, personal data.

1) Database has password

2) Backups exist

3) Monthly audit that access is not done by Rogue Sysadmin and stuff is not being used for spamvertisements

4) Someone is called "Security Officer"

FULFILLED!

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Boffins: Comet Lovejoy is a cosmic booze cruise spewing alcohol across the Solar System

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Paris Hilton

Re: Ancient Hebrew myths

In some ancient Hebrew myths ... somewhere in the neighbourhood of Jerusalem

Tough to find as Jerusalem was not even on the map yet? Before David the youthful bruiser set up his local variant of the yurt, there must have been two sheep and a donkey and possibly an olive tree at that place.

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Silicon Valley freeze-out: EU watchdog tells firms clock is ticking to limit data transfers

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> data subject

Should be the "data object", right?

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Big Brother

Re: They should ask themselves, are all these transfers justifiable?

The World today is full of such questions...

Finally, there’s the most important aspect of IBM’s identical Big Data approaches to death and customer service: Both are extremely powerful systems that have escaped any kind of human, democratic control. As Ellsberg puts it, the drone study is “unintelligible to anyone who might ask, ‘to what end is all this?’ or ‘do we have the right to be doing this?’ or ‘is this making us more secure, in the mid- to long-term, or on balance less so?’ or ‘is this creating more people who hate us — including the families of EKIAs (unintended victims) — and wish to harm us, than it is eliminating?’”

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Paris Hilton

So..... where is that European Salesforce Center?

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California enormo-quake prediction: Cracks form between US boffins

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Re: It's Not Their 'Fault'

> Implying that the US is any sort an advanced civilization.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Re: NASA should stick to what they are good at.

So if you feel a little pain in the left elbow, it might not only be artritis?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Forget the San Andreas...

The subsequent tsunami is likely to flood everything west of I-5.

GOOD!

disgruntled_cat.jpg

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Mushroom

Re: More dodgy models

Today's news say that what is for dinner is pointless brinkmanship with Russia in Syria (I didn't get we have a manadate to unilaterally impose no-fly zones in Syria, but so a superpower has its rights), possibly followed by a fat nuclear exchange.

Better order a new "duck and cover" instruction set at amazon.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: 15 percent...

It's like stockmarket crashes....

NO-ONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED!!

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TalkTalk attackers stole 'incomplete' customer bank data, ISP confirms

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Paris Hilton

In short, the very four digits that Amazon considers unimportant enough to display in the clear on the web are precisely the same ones that Apple considers secure enough to perform identity verification.

I don't understand. Am I not supposed to get asked "security questions" and at amazon I have even labeled them "security question #1", "security question #2", "security question #3"...

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If MR ROBOT was realistic, he’d be in an Iron Maiden t-shirt and SMELL of WEE

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Headmaster

Re: Movie OS

Seriously, it's on the level of Garfield. Who writes code with a headset on? What's with the stupid metrosexual beard look? Who says "finished" after writing anything more than a 6-line script?

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Re: Movie OS

That comic is bad.

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Fully working U-Boat Enigma machine sells for $365,000

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Re: Somebody in China or India or Argentina needs to make these

"QUALITY Reich material reproduction - made in Shenzen"

Hitler suicides a SECOND time.

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Big Brother

It's the US gummint trying to raise money.

I also have an Arc of the Covenant, slightly used, for a low price...

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Re: $365,000

You probably could have had an U-Boat thrown in for that kind of money, back then.

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Bacon as deadly as cigarettes and asbestos

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Re: Life leads to cancer. Cancer leads to suffering. Suffering leads to anger.

There's a relationship between stress and cancer

Oh yeah? Citation needed. Now.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Windows

MUH BACON!! WITH EGGS!!!

Well, it is the Daily Mail. So we might have to be content with page 3 bacon and legs.

Meanwhile: Lipidleggin', an adaptation of a 1978 short story.

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Laid-off IT workers: You want free on-demand service for what now?

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Re: This is what happens...

Catbert thinks you are lacking in Team Spirit.

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Re: We need to clear ths dust from the server room

Pretty sure ammonium nitrate will now warrant an entry in the DHS database.

These ain't those olden times anymore.

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Hackers hit NATO, White House – then aimed at MH17 air disaster probe

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Big Brother

That's not nice, but...

> hit with a Russian-made Buk surface-to-air missile

No surprises here, but 'twas done with an old-style 9M38M1 likely from the Ukrainian arsenal. Could be that Mother Russia-leaning separatists got ahold of it and let loose at the first sight of a blip on badly calibrated screens. Or maybe not. Most of this story is very murky, if not amerrimurky.

Who is keeping the quartermaster lists in Ukraine?

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Experts ponder improbable size of Cleopatra's asp

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Re: Didn't She Die of the Romans?

GAME OF THRONES!

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Trollface

Re: Slapper?

the Greek government objects strenuously to the modern state of Macedonia on the grounds that ancient Macedonia was Greek

Implying that modern fubar appendage of europe has anything in common with "Magna Græcia" (also, the "Magna" is there for a reason, like in "Greater Germany". One could argue that Poles build the German Empire but better not ...)

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Re: Slapper?

But old Alex was Macedonian. Not the same as Greek. It's like saying a guy from Mexico is American.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: It's obvious!

Leave "Twilight" out of this, don't ruin everything!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Big Brother

Victor the Nubian Cleaner makes a house call

And now your latent suspicion that she was actually suicided has been awakened.

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German football hero battles Nazi doppelgänger

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Trollface

The Wehrmacht did nothing wrong!

We believe most Germans look like this.

The reverse medal of "all asians look the same"

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'Death star' reaches out invisible hand, rips planet apart

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Re: It's a Holocaust!

end up slightly slower than the original planet, thus forming a tail

I am not convinced. The statistical process should make the debris faster and slower relative to the central mass with equal probability.

Also, remember the Gas Torus Mnemonic: "East takes you out, out takes you west, west takes you in, in takes you east, port and starboard bring you back"

If the debris slow down relative to the central mass, they will fall in and will overtake the planet.

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Paris Hilton

It's a Holocaust!

Why is there a "trail" though?

Shouldn't the debris widen around the original cerestroid in a more cloud-like fashion?

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Security researchers face wrath of spy agencies

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Re: The Truth is an Omniscient and Omnipotent Ally and Foe, is it not?*

In a country in which Hillary The Liberal Bombardier can be a presidential candidate with her only asset being that she's a feminal state-power-worshipper instead of a male state-power-worshipper, anything can happen.

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Re: Makes a mockery of any of that "Only machines read everthing and we don't use most of it" BS

John Brunner was a genius. One could do worse than re-read his "Shockwaver Rider" / "Stand on Zanzibar" / "The Sheep Look Up" trilogy. Though influenced somewhat by 68' hippiedom, he saw it coming.

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Made you jump! Space to give Earth an asteroid Halloween scare

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Big Brother

Re: That's a huge rock for only spotting it 10 days ago

devote the necessary resources for this

i.e. form a commitee of well-paid worthies that are too senile / not under enough control to vote for the next aggressive movement in some cross-oceanic country which we have always been at war with since yesterday?

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Re: scary video

Cool. It's like Indiana Jones lighting his vintage flashlight and discovering that he's actually IN the pit with the flesh.eating roaches described in the papyrus.

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WikiLeaks leaks CIA director's private emails – including his nat sec clearance dossier

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Pint

HOLY DOT SHIT

the director ... suggests opening diplomatic channels with the theocracy

Hire that man!

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Microsoft's top lawyer: I have a cunning plan ... to rescue sunk safe harbor agreement

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Mushroom

LOCK AND LOAD!

"This month the old legal system collapsed, but the foundation long ago had crumbled. In recent years it has been apparent that a new century requires a new privacy framework. It's time to go build it."

You stupid fucks even dropped the ball on software patents back in the 90s to gain a little "Market Advantage", literally driving over people's best interests.

Now you pretend you can create a legal Potemkin Village of the Holy Privacy Unicorn which will be respected by out-of-control superbly financed and extremely metastasized state actors?

GO DIE IN A CORNER.

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