Feeds

* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

8125 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Zuckerberg, Musk and Fake Steve Jobs invest in secretive AI firm

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Let's hope it doesn't think like roughly 85% of reg commentards.

There is a 85% chance that you are included in this undesirable set!

Fancy some health insurance?

1
0

Google pulls SCHAFT out of military honeypot, sprays gold at bot team

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Imagine

Don't tell me we need Obamarescue.

3
2

Boffins working on debris float models to track MH370 wreckage

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: "fresh analysis of satellite data"

Clearly some kind of Hadooping. Behold the chestbeatingz:

UK firm behind Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 breakthrough

Inmarsat senior vice-president Chris McLaughlin said the firm had studied electronic "pings" - or bursts of data - which the plane had sent to one of its satellites.

He told the BBC: "We have been dealing with a totally new area. We've been trying to help an investigation based on a single signal once an hour from an aircraft that didn't include any GPS data, any time and distance information.

"So this really was a bit of a shot in the dark and it's to the credit of our scientific team that they came up and managed to model this."

Mr McLaughlin continued: "They managed to find a way in which to say just a single ping can be used to say the plane was both powered up and travelling, and then by a process of elimination - comparing it to other known flights - establish that it went south."

Oceanographer Dr Simon Boxall, from the University of Southampton, told the BBC: "The algorithms and the techniques [Inmarsat] have applied to try and locate - to within a certain area - where the last transmission was made is really quite phenomenal - but also quite tragic because it does show this plane was heading to an open area of ocean."

He continued: "They've probably crammed almost a year's worth of research into maybe a couple of weeks, so it's not a routine calculation they would ever, ever make.

"They've been looking at all the signals they have, all the recordings they have, and processing that many times over to try and pinpoint where the plane's signal came from. Technologically it's really quite astounding."

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: French non-image is different

sadly, money

It's actually nonsad.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Channel 5 report

apparently you can take control of a plane by plugging into the USB port on the IFE

I hope they blended over into a James Bond theme.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: French non-image is different

With such QUALITY information sources it is lucky that JFK wasn't on the plane otherwise there would be rumors about Lyndon B. Johnson having fired on the plane from a grassy knoll.

0
0

US saves self from Huawei spying by spying on Huawei spying

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

a rich irony

It's so rich that it would easily make a Michelle Obama's "no (salt|sugar|fat)" list of verboten foodstuff.

But then again, we suspected this all along, didn't we?

3
0

5 Eyes in the Sky: The TRUTH about Flight MH370 and SPOOKSATS

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Diego Garcia is British! (NM)

Yeah, the original inhabitants can sing a song about that kind of britishness.

1
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

"their"

there

"that your radar program is defective or the military personnel are failing to do their job"

Probably both, as is that caste's custom, but it's not as if Russians were particularly interested in a takeover of the vast stretches of roo-land at the point of the Avtomat Nikonova.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

Re: If only...

High res spy sats are only any good if you know exactly where to look. Osama could have been sunbathing naked on the roof of his Pakistani hideout, waving at passing spysats and they still wouldn't have seen him until local intel gave some pointers.

Ah yes, about that...

New York Times journalist Carlotta Gall, who spent more than a decade reporting from Afghanistan and Pakistan has pretty well confirmed that Pakistan not only knew of bin Laden’s presence, but actively protected him. More than that, the U.S. government knows they knew, and the Pakistanis know they know they knew.

0
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Shamefur Dispray!

> Capture plane for reasons unknown, possibly having to do with religion and/or a ragequit attitude

> Divert into vast desert off nothingness to make it disappear

> By coincidence hit the hush-hush Amurrican Superbase hidden within vast desert of nothingness

> Hush-hush Amurrican Superbase fires at you as your fuel runs out

> THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Surprised?

How do you black out AC's "Mom's basement"?

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Flame

Re: The old

Regarding recent political events, the correct approach is "report whatever fits into a prevailing narrative, don't care about any facts, even later".

You could gas whole editorial boards and the garden sheds full of gnomically idiotic "opinion" page writers (WaPo and NYT I'm looking at you E.J. Dionne, Krauthammer etc. ) and nothing of value would be lost. Indeed, the average sanity of Earth would be markedly increased.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

It is pretty cruel to just cut a ship loose at sea and the perps should be strung up by their gonads for some righteous drying ... but then:

In January 2014, there was speculation[19] based on an interview with a salvager in the British tabloid The Sun that the ship might be nearing the coast of England and be infested with cannibal rats. The rumours were subsequently debunked.[20][21] Psychic Uri Geller offered to help locate the ship.[22]

Okay.jpg.

0
0

ICO decides against probe of Santander email spam scammers

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

I'm not saying it's aliens, but it could well be aliens.

0
0

This changes everything: Microsoft slips WinXP holdouts $100 to buy new Windows 8 PCs

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: More effective.

Handing flexible solutions to consumers?

It simply is against their DNA.

8
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: $1000 wouldnt be enough

Clearly you need Clippy to give you advice on blood pressure management.

22
1

Reality check: Java 8 finally catches a multi-core break

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Lambdas meh, Java has always had Threads and Java 5 has concurrency classes

Thank you. I hope to be able to be of some service in the future, good sir!

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Lambdas meh, Java has always had Threads and Java 5 has concurrency classes

Don't meh the Lambdas, or they will lisp you in a curry.

Ruby and all the other hipster languages,like Scala, are wannabe mainstream languages, but have been discovered to not be usable in anger, so people went back to reliable Java.

This is politspeak for "I don't understand any of this, leave me alone!"

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

but that's not standard and not properly approved...

How exactly does you bank approve a new JVM? Do they rub body pieces of the CIO over it?

5
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Java on the desktop is dead

the Dalvik engine, which is Google's implementation of a Java VM

U wot M8?

It's not even a stack machine.

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

I know I know. But how hard can it be to regression test code running on a nominally backward-compatible JVM?

Unless of course, the test code has been left "for later" (*cough*)

And the documentation ..ummm... "cannot be found"

4
4
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Java on the desktop is dead

Java on the desktop is dead, it's primary use these days seems to be to infect your computer with malware. The best thing to do is deinstall it. I bet about 99% of people will never need it.

Sounds like random shock talking points from one of the "N arguments to make the heads of [some political opponent you want to antagonize today] explode" posts that one can regularly find on confusenik websites, written by people actually unable to develop a coherent train of thought.

Servers and mobiles seem to be a success area, but really it's depressing to see smartphones running Java apps

Which ones run Java?

1
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

This stemmed from the fact LinkedIn and Twitter abandoned hipster-choice Ruby for less fashionable Java. As ever, when it comes to Java, the reasons were performance and scale.

Ah no, Twitter went with Scala, i.e. a language running on the/a JVM. Did they move off it? Scala has its own problems, I hear, including major problems in debugging as coders enthusiastically embrace the newness and the ubiquitously overloaded "surprise" operator.

As for multicore, there is always Go.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Good performance? Scalable?

C++ or any other fully compiled language would've outperformed Java by miles

"Stop me, I'm a moron and I'm gonna use this computer"

9
2
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Your developers need a bit of training. Stop watching TV in the evening and read a Manning book.

1
15

MH370 airliner MYSTERY: The El Reg Pub/Dinner-party Guide

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: "Faggots"? Was that really necessary?

Sorry about that. It's not meant to be used in the homosexually-phobic way, more like this.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: There is at least one other possibility...

then dig themselves into much bigger problems simply by telling lies to themselves

I suppose the solution to this here problem would then be to move everything into the cloud....

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Hijacking foiled scenario?

A downvote? Guess in 2014 there are still wankers who actually believe 9/11 was a "complete surprise".

1
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

I think the Indian Ocean is the province of the People of The Ancient Continent of Lemuria, and they are very justified and jealous and want to have nothing to do with the faggots from the Bermuda Triangle with consort with greys and other riffraff.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: @Vic Facts

...but Fox News will make a PANIC ARTICLE or unlawful technical knowledge in the HAND OF TERRISTS.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Hijacking foiled scenario?

Plane is hijacked by tech savvy terrorist intent on a 9/11 type attack on Beijing.

Considering that no a single peep was hear from the nation-state listening stations, whereas for 9/11 chatter was extensive, the whole folder was basically on the FBI's desk and the undercover guy was phoning it in but got recalled for retarded bureaucratic infighting reasons... this is very unlikely.

"And tech-savvy terrorist forgets how to read a compass...."

"Batteries, Aziz!"

2
1

Microsoft exec: I don't know HOW our market share sunk

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Integent ... Running Windows

That in real terms there has been ZERO progress in AI since 1950s

"I'm gonna make shit up like an economic columnist from the NYT and just post it here. Sounds like a plan!!"

Yeah.. "Real terms". Really intelligent word-finding here, dude.

Well, I'm old enough to remember eejits proclaiming how impossibly hard it would be to have computers play chess and from that observation they went on to conclude that AI is too hard for computers. Now chessplaying is no longer even mentioned as an interesting problem. We switched to more interesting problems like machine translation, simulations of cats and robots pursuing you to the khazi to pop a cap into your arse.

8
1

Microsoft frisked blogger's Hotmail inbox, IM chat to hunt Windows 8 leaker, court told

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: So many WTFs!

He was arrested in Seattle for a crime against an American company.

Holy damn! The poor company!!!

Seriously, anyone not totally braindamaged by the sheeple-targeting/IP-defending media permashitstorm would realize that one could at best talk about an attack on the financial wellbeing of the shareholders of the company.

Now.

Defrauding shareholders is politically correct these days, so the accusation would have to be re-engineered into one about "irretrievably harming potential future tax revenues", which in the current climate can only be interpreted by a popular court as the most heinous crime of lèse-majesté, and thus we could go liberally medieval on the perp's arse, all in good conscience.

5
1
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Re:

you have no reasonable expectation of privacy

IN AMERICA!

And other totalitarian venues.

4
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Interested eh?

Especially french bloggers.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Win 8 trade secrets

as opposed to giving away millions of hours to developing an operating system nobody wants or uses

I thought he was talking about all the nameless Microserfs mercilessly squeezed like sweat shop boys to give their Pocari Sweat to build Windows RT?

5
1

Planes fail to find 'credible' candidate for flight MH370 wreckage

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: BUT...

there is no way to control the plane from the ground like that

I thought that meme died the death of utter idiocy after 9/11. Instead, it is still around.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

"Bond is sent by M to a clinic to improve his health. While massaged by physiotherapist Patricia Fearing, he notices Count Lippe, a suspicious man with a criminal tattoo (from a Tong). He searches Lippe's room, but is seen leaving by Lippe's clinic neighbour who is bandaged after plastic surgery. Lippe tries to murder Bond with a spinal traction machine, but is foiled by Fearing, whom Bond then seduces. Bond finds a dead bandaged man, François Derval. Derval was a French NATO pilot deployed to fly aboard an Avro Vulcan loaded with two atomic bombs for a training mission. He had been murdered by Angelo, a SPECTRE henchman surgically altered to match his appearance.

Angelo takes Derval's place on the flight, sabotaging the plane and sinking it near the Bahamas. He is then killed by Emilio Largo (SPECTRE No. 2) for trying to extort more money than offered to him. Largo and his henchmen retrieve the stolen atomic bombs from the seabed. All double-0 agents are called to Whitehall and en route, Lippe chases Bond. Lippe is killed by SPECTRE agent Fiona Volpe for failing to foresee Angelo's greed. SPECTRE demands £100 million in white flawless uncut diamonds from NATO in exchange for returning the bombs. If their demands are not met, SPECTRE will destroy a major city in the United States or the United Kingdom. At the meeting, Bond recognises Derval from a photograph. Since Derval's sister, Domino, is in Nassau, Bond asks M to send him there, where he discovers Domino is Largo's mistress."

Yep, I think this must be how it happened.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Pretty sure there are. IIRC, in Yurop alone, subsidies are allocated depending on what is being grown, which is checked by you-guessed-what. All the tech for all the wrong things. On the other hand, we can analyze and map the whole surface of nearby planets within weeks. This isn't being done manually.

Anyway, I had a course on this back when Bush made Kuwait safe for the Emir again, back when computers were slow and 16 MByte counted for something.

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Maybe

I don't know what to think of this exhibit of millenial brain power.

7
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

What?

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

So you think it was the guy with the X-Files Collector's Edition in his personal library wot done it?

1
1

Google slams Play Store password window shut after sueball hits

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Because the device and app are designed to take advantage of them.

Progressive bollocks.

Children apps with in-app purchase should be banned. Why a children app is allowed to connect to the Internet and spend money? Why the store rules which are so strict when they like, are so liberal when it comes to extract money from users?

Yeah, those parents are good for nothing. We need us some REGULATION in here.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

They expect some basic safeguards to be in place as they have other priorities in life, which don't include checking every little detail on things like in-app purchases.

PEBKAC

These "other priorities" apparently include buying the latest bling on which they then load games they don't understand (the use of which sure is going to be declared a "human right" by an UN panel any moment now).

UTTER FAIL.

0
0

NASA: Earth JUST dodged comms-killing SOLAR BLAST in 2012

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

your car battery will have to be disconnected in order to avoid damage

This isn't The War of the Worlds or en EMP pulse, you know. To induce current you need a large current loop.

0
0

RIP Full Disclosure: Security world reacts to key mailing list's death

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

Anyone remember the history of Full Disclosure's creation? I remember there was some discussion about whether people should voluntarily restrict talking about vulnerabilities in wake of serial exploits for Windows (and possibly Linux) immediately before that, but I'm hazy about the details.

0
0

Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

1) It's "Ghengis Khan"

2) How you can be "to the right of" the same is beyond me, as the seating order of the french parliament was still not decided at that time.

9
23
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Flame

Re: FFS, Reg...

What's that, ***? Not into the PC wars of 2014? **** ***, *****!

5
1