* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

10779 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Secure microkernel that uses maths to be 'bug free' goes open source

Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Re: Compiler and runtime(s) also guaranteed defect free?

> gcc

> formally verified

TFW. Choose one.

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Bring back error correction, say Danish 'net boffins

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Gimp

In before "I have thought 10 seconds about it and it won't work because...."

Oh wait.

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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

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Windows

Re: Don't lie to us Dabbs, we know you're a terrorist!

Well, we now know how TERRISTS are CLASSIFIED:

The Secret (but UNCLASSIFIED) Government Rulebook For Labeling You a Terrorist by Jeremy Scahill and Ryan Devereaux

There is even a download of the same... 166 pages. No, I won't read it. It's like something amanfrommars would write.

It is easily possible to find some ACTIONABLE INTELLIGENCE based on articulable and REASONABLE SUSPICION duly signalled by a NOMINATOR who provides PARTICULARIZED DEROGATORY INFORMATION on Mr. Dabbs.

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Put down that Oracle database patch: It could cost $23,000 per CPU

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Re: Old tricks work best.

My pleasure.

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Re: And that's why...

Yeah, well....

So when will PostgreSQL Global Development Group actually move into the 21st century and manage to set up a bug tracking database?

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Windows

Old tricks work best.

Basically the old "extra lapdancing fees" scam.

And did I spy a previously unknown usage for the word nascent in: "It really should have a default initialization setting that renders the option/feature nascent"?

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

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Re: Probably a stupid question

I herewith declare the downvoters as retards and fools.

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Re: Ouch

>The satelites would get fried

LOLNO

> Most electronic that isn't shielded would also fail as induction currents from the magnetic storm we'd get from the CME hitting fries all the delicate components

Someone is confusing CMEs with a Magnetar going off 10 light-years away and it ain't me.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Probably a stupid question

No. It wouldn't even be affected if switched on.

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Re: Ouch

That's pure Hollywood drama. I demand Bratt Pitt!

So basically, worldwide EMP.

Not at all. Collapse of large parts of the electrical grid due to induction in large conductor loops, sure. Cities will become a bit difficult to live in for a few months; it would actually bring home to the yanks what it means to be on the receiving end of a "shock and awe" and a "mission accomplished". On the other hand, what will be up pretty much immediately will be GPS and battery-powered computers. Until the batteries run out, that is.

Meanwhile, I hear the Ebola breakout in Sierra Leone is intensifying...

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ONE EMAIL costs mining company $300 MEEELION

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Re: Headline wrong?

Exactly. It cost some pension funds and small investors $300 million (because hey guess who is gonna hold the bag in the end on "trader's" losses).

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Need a US visa, passport? Prepare for misery: Database crash strands thousands

Destroy All Monsters
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All the skilled people are working on the Obamacare databases ... oh, wait!

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Windows

"The Bureau of Consular Affairs has been experiencing technical problems with our passport and visa system," Marie Harf, deputy spokesperson for the State Department, said in a press briefing on Thursday. "The issue is worldwide, not specific to any particular country."

If Marie opens her mouth, she is saying something between a half-truth and an outright lie with probability close to 1.

Though I cannot fathom what she is trying to retruthify here.

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Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in

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Re: BOFH Appreciation day

Whenever you check under the raised floor and find a body down there.

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I can't believe this started before the War on Terror

Those were better times.

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Beancounters tell NASA it's too poor to fly planned mega-rocket

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W Bush wanted to return to the moon which was a good idea. until elected a second time.

HTH.

There was never any serious attempt to do anything along these lines. Or if there was, you can find it underneath an office carpet. The guy had a surge to implement, dontcha know.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: I thought the business case was obvious?

Putn would not stoop to using that fact to his own advantage?

Welcome to Capitalism, yank!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Devil

Re: Solid boosters?

Basically you fit a shaped charge ring around the top and bottom and cut both ends off.

Brilliant idea, but you have to hope that it's Bruce Willis or Putin (or both) flying the shuttle at that moment. You sure won't be able to trust structural integrity of the exterior LOX/LH tank. Or the Shuttle wings.

Just one lighting was one of the nightmare scenarios...

Probably called a "half-circular excursion arc"?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

We are doomed. DOOMED!

Meanwhile, take a wank at CNN:

What an Enterprise! NASA physicist, artist unveil warp-speed craft design

NASA's Harold White has been working since 2010 to develop a warp drive that will allow spacecraft to travel at speeds faster than light -- 186,000 miles per second. White, who heads NASA's Advanced Propulsion Team, spoke about his conceptual starship at a conference last fall. But interest in his project reached a new level this week when he unveiled images of what the craft might look like.

This, this is what counts as progress today - CGI imagery, fantasy and make-believe.

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Trollface

Re: Certain cuts will have to be made, say the bean counters

But the savings will be immediately allocated for the War against the Caliphate, the War against the Emirate, the Pacific Pivot or The Other NATO Expansion. I despair.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: On Mars, on time, on budget.

As long as you land next to the chinese restaurant, all is ok.

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Putin: Crack Tor for me and I'll make you a MILLIONAIRE

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Re: Someone on the red line Vlad ...

Putin to Langley: "Who do you think we are, native americans?"

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

iOS slurpware brouhaha: It's for diagnostics, honest, says Apple

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He's that old?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

"Dead people are rising but Authorities say there is no cause for alarm."

but there's no evidence that they were put there for any reason other than poor engineering

I find this hard to swallow. Especially as it is Apple.

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Who should do security clearance checks? Did you say 'chat-bot'? This military slinger hopes so

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Re: My, hasn't Eliza grown..

"Earlier you said you were banging your mother?"

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Destroy All Monsters
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So basically Eliza in Camo?

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Attack of the clones: Oracle's latest Red Hat Linux lookalike arrives

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Re: Cloned from sources they get from CentOS

A superclone?

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iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms

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Windows

Re: Do Apple know...........?

YO! The 80s want their wordplays back.

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Turing biopic with Cumberbatch, Knightley to premiere at London Film Festival

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Re: Does not match!

HUSH!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Sir

No but you can have the manga instead. Possibly a bit apocryphal though.

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Trollface

Re: Real portrayl?

You may notice that WWII was started to guarantee that the german town of Danzig remained in Poland, but ended with Poland ravaged and handed to Stalin on a platter while the lying liar FDR maintained to the end (which is to say, until the presidential elections were over and had obtained the polish vote) that Poland would be get a dose of freedom and that Stalin had jolly well agreed to this. This was then followed up with operation Keelhaul, about which the less said the better.

Any correlations with current events are totally unintended and no animals are being harmed.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: "Joan Clarke was rather plain,"

LIES!

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MPs to sue UK.gov over 'ridiculous' EMERGENCY data snooping law

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Big Brother

You get a better serving at the PolitFranchise!

“I want to be very clear that we are not introducing new powers or capabilities – that is not for this Parliament. This is about restoring two vital measures ensuring that our law enforcement and intelligence agencies maintain the right tools to keep us all safe.”

Like McDonalds, bland bullshit for undiscerning consumers can now be found worldwide.

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HP's Machine and IBM's $3bn R&D splash – aka how to survive Google

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Devil

Maas Neotek when?

When these guys are done with their Wall Street fellations, expect Asians to step into the breach.

Once the upcoming crash has been weathered of course.

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Attackers raid SWISS BANKS with DNS and malware bombs

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Re: Not so simple really

But Gruyère has no holes.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Delicious Cheese is a Lie!

I got a buffer overrun when I read that.

Clearly you have been coded before the advent of high-level languages and the wide dissemination of security-conscious coding techniques.

The doctor recommends that you better not frequent malword-ridden lowbrow sites like El Reg.

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Hacker claims breach of Wall Street Journal and Vice websites, punts 'user data' for sale

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Gimp

We have always been at war with Eurasia!

Indeed. They are changing the baddie-of-the-week too quickly nowadays; better visit often to keep oneself informed.

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Lads from Lagos turn from 419 scams to basic malware slinging

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Angel

Re: Really?

But then you suddenly feel the irrational need to transfer two thousand five hundred (2500) USD via Western Union money transfer to a lonely lady in the southern lands so that she may buy a plane ticket.

It's magic!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Engr Ojie Victor

Soon on Stack Overflow?

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Games industry set for $5 BILLION haircut, warn beancounters

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there is a real life

RUMORS!

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Black Hat anti-Tor talk smashed by lawyers' wrecking ball

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Thumb Down

Re: Do you really think you can hide?

If you step out of your front door somebody knows what you look like. Get online and someone knows what you've been looking at and browsing for.

Brain meets floor at first sentence.

NEXT!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Because Not looking into everyone's nether regions == Negligence

Yes, this is 2014.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Black hat conferences

I raise you a Trilateral Commission!

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Childcatcher

"Further details had not been discussed but Tor Project in a now deleted synopsis they wrote they planned to cover the feasibility and limitations of attacks before detailing how botnet command and control servers, child pornography forums and hidden drug marketplaces like Silk Road have been revealed."

In the best Fred Flintstone voice: "EDITOOORRRRRRR!!!!"

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SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

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Headmaster

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

Sofort mit diesem Geplauder aufhören! LAUT AUFSCHREI!

Lucky the germans had only mastered Hollerith cards back then. The Blitzkrieg would have transformed into a Gammastrahlenausbruchkrieg. Dodged a bullet.

german asuka triumphant.jpg

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ITC: Seagate and LSI can infringe Realtek patents because Realtek isn't in the US

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Holmes

US ITC decides it doesn't have the legitimacy to deal with foreign IP shit.

Film at 11.

Meanwhile US State Department decides that it has the legitimacy to deal with Countries in the Middle of Europe.

Film at 11:30, followed by the Kerry troll show.

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Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab

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Re: Time

Gun control, Boris. Gun control. You are only allowed to own the energy-conserving 15W plasma rifle based on fluorescent lightbulbs.

Game over man. Game over!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Terminator

Skynet still on timeline, only a little later.

"But the Russians are our friends now!"

"Fcuk you John, you need a lesson in primary atavistic behaviour or politicians. Now listen up: The Skynet funding bill is passed...'

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HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

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Paris Hilton

Re: Might explain...

So who activated the sniffer?

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