An article of the Onion, with additional Amurrika Fcuk Year!!
*** WE MUST PROTECT THE THINGS WE VALUE MOST ***
Freedom (We gave it up for a bit of convenience)
Liberty (We gave it up for a bit of safety by a guy in blue who is wont to choke you to death)
Prosperity (We gave it up by letting them go off the Gold Standard to pay for bombing Vietnamese peasants, then perform QE/Monetary Diarreha for the mansions of the few)
Intellectual Property (We pledge allegiance to the flag of Mickey Mouse and crack-sniffing MPAAers)
Personal Information (What is this I don't even)
I guess even George Orwell could not have imagined the cravenness. The title itself fits right into MiniLove sloganeering.