Feeds

* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

9720 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: 16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

That one's from BOFH #1

Seriously? There are people who don't know? Next you want me add attributions when I quote from the Ancient Testament.

Whippersnappers.

7
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: 16-page document I was working on last night won’t fit onto a floppy

4 MEG IN TOTAL!

Another user rings.

"I need more space" he says

"Well, why don't you move to Texas?" I ask

"No, on my account, stupid."

Stupid? Uh-Oh..

"I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy Stewart in a Family Matinee "I didn't quite catch that. What was it that you said"

I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's a goner and he knows it.

"Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"

"Sure, hang on"

I hear him gasp his relief even though he covered the mouthpiece.

"There, you've got plenty of space now"

"How much have I got"

Now this REALLY *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*! Not only do they want me to give them extra space, they want to check it, to correct me if I don't give them enough. They should be happy with what I give them *and that's it*

Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.

"Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"

"Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says pleased with his bargaining power

"No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red, room temperature "4 Meg in total"

"Huh? I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

I say nothing. It'll come to him.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhH!"

I kill me; I really do

4
0

SMASH AND GRAB iThieves run car through front of Berkeley's Apple Store

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Hasn't El Reg heard of ramraiding before?

If they detect large, vehicle shaped things coming toward the building they deploy and lock in place

Isn't that racist against US customer who happen to fall into the upper quartile of US-adapted body mass?

4
0

$3.2bn Apple deal would make hip-hop mogul Dr Dre a BEEELLLIONAIRE

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: In 2011, HTC invested $309m for a 50 per cent stake in the company

Unless there is a dead hand persistently pushing the "print" button at the federal reserve.

Which is the case.

0
0

London cabbies to offer EVEN WORSE service in protest against Uber

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: AC Cancer. Cancer everyhwere!

As a cabbie might put it, Uber can go shove their cut-price offering where the sun don't shine, sunshine.

Must be the most self-defeating addie for QUALITY cab services ever.

But thanks for the astroturf.

5
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Flame

Cancer. Cancer everyhwere!

Union bosses claimed the use of Uber is tantamount to installing a taximeter – which is illegal in minicabs.

And why is it illegal, there must be a good reason for ... oh!

16
1

Oracle vs Google redux: Appeals court says APIs CAN TOO be copyrighted

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Unintentional humor

I agree.

I cannot be better in the first place because there isn't even a specification. Like trying to metricate Chtulhu, the closer you look, the madder you get.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Probably the death knell of the "industry"

Well, frankly I have had it.

The whole bunch of leeches and sucking cancers can't end soon enough. Everyone in his own proprietary little silo, throwing shit against the padded walls.

47
2

China 'in discussions' about high-speed rail lines to London, Germany – and the US

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

Harry Harrison Reference, Hurrah!

it is probably worth considering as a economy stimulating activity

Unfortunately 40 years of relentless bullshit and economic destruction (with the best yet to come) should have taught us that Keynesianism of all kinds is a pipe dream.

No such luck.

China is currently at the top of the S-curve of its building boom. It has empty cities standing around, rotting. All that energy, time, materials and lifes locked up in infrastructure never to be used and never to generate any ROI whatsoever. Lost.

It needs a new monster project fast to justify printing more money unless the whole Ponzi scheme collapses like a Universe living through its big crunch.

However, the light at the end of the transatlantic tunnel turned out to be the Horseman of Futzy Accounting.

Ron Paul Doom.jpg

2
1

Brit chap weaves silver bullet for wireless health scare bollocks

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: WTF

It was /b/ before moot.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Coat

...

You must be living in Sweden.

Radio Assange FTW!

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: WTF

And an old story on alt.tasteless

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Fake Snake oil

Let's see your government control-rays get through that!

They can get latex-covered fingers up various orifices whenever you look at them wrong, why would they need control rays?

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

What's with the overexposure of "Wifi kills better than $THREAT and more insidiously" meme lately? In the last couple of days two persons talked my ear off bleedingly about the nefarious effects of digital microwave energy in the ether. Said nefarious effects being all well known to the sciency circles which are, however, unable to speak because their righteous voices are being ruthlessly ballgagged by "industry power".

On the other hand, I have been spared such nonsense the whole last year.

Creeping Califonization or Something in the Daily Mail?

TETRA merely uses the old carriers for digital instead of analogue signals

I tried to explain something about digital signalling in the time domain being exactly the same as analog signalling in the time domain if they are mapping to x GHz in the frequency domain, but to no avail. This digital shit is DANGEROUS with all these sharp corners, man!

1
0

Amazon granted patent for taking photos against a white background – seriously

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Joke

Patent for killing many people in one go in the patent office.

This involved closing door (1) in an airtight manner (2) then releasing (3) gas pellets (3b) from safe enclosure (4), finally putting fire (5) to the building after a suitable period of mourning (6). Although "Zyklon B" is mentioned hereunder, this is just done for illustration purposes and nothing in this patent shall be construed to mean that other chemicals may not be used.

Prior art you say?

1
0

Architect of Apple's total-silence public relations policy leaves

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: It's not as if they (or anyone else for that matter) care what you think Jasp

"Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal."

0
1

That NAKED SELFIE you sent on Snapchat? You may be seeing it again

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

"for the next 20 years"

Essentially a lifetime guarantee, then?

4
0

Orange France hacked AGAIN, 1.3 million victims seeing red

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

ITT: A fistful of trolling

Or ACs from Redmond's basement. How is the Azure Cloud coming, guys.

0
0

Comcast dragged into muck in Oracle's Solaris fix-it lawsuit

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Woah

Pissing off customers, telling them that they better buy support in perpetuam or else they get the gloved hand treatment or need to go somewhere else.

Looks like Oracle is now eating the seeds.

5
0

Britain'll look like rural Albania without fracking – House of Lords report

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: If it's really 2015 we're stuffed no matter what happens...

You will also remember the Ron-Paul Doom Level Economic Crash which is increasingly looming over the near future horizon like real-life version of The Thing On the Doorstep.

3
0

Japanese cops arrest man with five 3D printed guns at home

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

"I can't complain about the arrest if the police regard them as real guns."

That's not the kind of spirit that will keep that country going.

6
0

Goodbye, Mr Dong: Samsung Galaxy S5 boss disappears through trapdoor

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

Cat stroker dialogue

"We at S.A.M.S.U.N.G. are not happy with your performance, Mr Dong. Your Galaxy S5 was not exactly ... a success!"

[A Worldmap with highlighted FAIL points appears out of nowhere]

"Do you expect me to add more rounded corners?"

"Choose your next witticism well, Mr. Dong. It may well be your last...."

1
1

King's stocks are candy-crushed as its top toy suffers splurge slump

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

"The decline of Candy Crush Saga will be more than offset by our new IP"

It's hard to admit that one is only being used as a conduit to hoover up loose cash coming from suckers and badly managed pension schemes, all driven by the relentlessly burning heat of our socialistic money printing policies.

TOOL!

Janet Yellen’s Bathtub Economics: Excuse Me Doctor—There’s Bubbles In That Tub!

As is well-known, one of Tobin’s first students to be conferred a PhD after he repaired from his Washington follies to Yale was Janet Yellen. That was 1971. If Keynesian economics in a national bathtub that was not at all a closed system was nonsense even then, it surely is nothing less than a laughingstock in the blooming, buzzing, churning global economy of today—-a place where the source of the marginal supply of labor and capital cannot even be pronounced in Washington, let alone be measured, calibrated and factored into a policy equation.

Yet here is Janet Yellen at a Congressional hearing yesterday faithfully lip-synching professor Tobin. She has not even learned any new jargon in 43 years!

“In light of the considerable degree of slack that remains in labor markets and the continuation of inflation below the (Fed’s) 2 percent objective, a high degree of monetary accommodation remains warranted,” Ms. Yellen said.

This was all by way of justifying the lunatic proposition on which the Fed is now operating: Namely, that for the 68th consecutive month it kept the money market rate at zero—a condition that has never previously occurred in all of human history. Well, outside of post-bubble Japan anyway, and its evident how well that’s working.

0
0

Speaking in Tech: 'I get told to wear makeup by other women'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

It depends on the workplace.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Preaching to the choir

"Haram started kidnapping the daughters of West Coast executives and selling them into slavery, attitudes might change."

I don't know how more retardedincoherentyou can get. "Responsibility to protect" progressive bombing runs and all that jazz come to mind. What do you want to express with this kind of stupdidityunclear proclamation?

"If random violence were perpetrated by random obscurantists right here, attitudes might change."

"If victims were blonde white girls instead of brown-skinned ones, attitudes might change."

"If these things were happening right here in whitey land, attitudes might change."

I dunno, please enlighten me.

You can also specify HOW things would change. Consider that I do not consider the maintenance of a "kill list" by black presidents as "change".

0
0

Look out, sysadmins - HOT FOREIGN SPIES are targeting you

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

Nice ladies on your boxes?

I wonder if that french software house from last week "outrage of the week" section was up to something?

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: They're already here

Wide open, eh?

Say no more, say no more!!

0
0

Solaris deposed as US drone-ware, replaced by Linux administration

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: My worry is the admins

Hush! Just put him on the President's Personal Kill-List (updated every Wednesday!)

1
0

Twitter jitters: Investors turn into quitters as shares hit the sh...

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes
0
0

Did cosmic radiation nuke $25 satellite swarm? 100 snoozing Sprites face fiery death

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: @ Psyx - It had 99 back-ups. That's plenty of redundancy.

If the basket is very strong, I am sure we can justify SIL 4

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

Radiation!

Fukushima is EVERYHWERE!!!

7
6

PEAK APPLE: Mystery upstart to hurl iLord from its throne 'by 2020'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Facepalm

"Amiga will no longer matter in 2010"

If Apple is still "top dog" in 2020 either a major nuclear war occurred or the competition is asleep at the wheels and serially driving off cliffs.

That prediction is not exactly about putting one's credibility on the line.

I, for one, predict that the USA will be a burnt-out economic basketcasket suffering increasing tendency at defederalization by then. P = 0.7556

4
2

Target topples CEO in latest data breach domino

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Too many idiots with no common sense in this world!!!!!!!

You can say it was because you were LGBT, but "they" will say you were fired (or not hired) for some other reason.

So what?

Having a job at company X is not a birthright, even if this idiotic and self-defeating idea has grown on some people.

4
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: CFOs...

C ... oh!

0
0

HALF of London has outdated Wi-Fi security, says roving World of War, er, BIKER

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

Re: He is NOT a biker

It was Putin's own biker gang (Night Wolfes) wot done it!

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

> HTTPS isn't secure from a "man in the middle" attack.

U WOT M8?

It is - if the certifcate chain has not been compromised. Don't use COMODO or DigiNotar shit. Preferably use your own CA.

1
6

What's that PARASITE wriggling inside my browser?

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Danger!

"Neo. This may be hard to believe but... The Matrix was created based on open-sourced worm simulations...."

4
0

Docker ported into Hadoop as benchmarks show SCREAMING FAST performance

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: You young 'uns don't know nuffink

> 1975

Heh.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Let me get this straight...

What is wrong with just using chroot?

Everything.

chroot doesn't help you in packaging a runtime configuration; indeed it forces you to into additional configuration complexity.

3
0

Obama: I'm the CTRL-ALT-DEL President

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Increasingly "The Petulant Clown of White House"

Meanwhile, the real problems pile up.

Needed: Obama-Putin Summit on Ukraine -- Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity, May 04, 2014

The buck stops with you, Mr. President. If you want to stop a bloody civil war between east and west Ukraine and avert Russian military intervention in eastern Ukraine, you may be able to do so before the violence hurtles completely out of control. You need to take the initiative and do it now.

We recommend that you publicly disavow any wish to incorporate Ukraine into NATO and that you make it clear to Moscow that you are prepared to meet personally with Russian President Vladimir Putin without delay to discuss ways to defuse the crisis and recognize the legitimate interests of the various parties.

....

Let us suppose you are confronted with the following scenario: Tokyo provokes armed hostilities with China over the issue of the Senkaku/Diaoyu Islands and then invokes Japan’s mutual defense treaty with the U.S. to draw the United States in. At that point, Russia weighs in on China’s side. What do you do? And, more specifically, what do you do when you cannot get through the Kremlin switchboard and are reduced to having to leave Putin a voicemail?

6
3

Trans Pacific Partnership still stalled

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

A pox on both of their houses

“if also addresses alleged currency manipulation by Japan”

Abenomics, the fêted idea of banishing deflation forever, and which has not truly destroyed the Japanese economy is based on printing money like you have a special paper diarrhea. Ditto the US which Quantitatively Eases like a roadtrip to hell to hide any unbecoming problems at least till pas the midterm elections. If that is not currency manipulation on both sides of the Asian pivot I don't know what is.

Well, it seems there are very large chickens coming home to roost presently and very quickly. MORE POPCORN, PLEASE!

10
1

Stephen Hawking: The creation of true AI could be the 'greatest event in human history'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Motivation

Just because something is intelligent does not mean it necessarily wants to do anything

Picture AIs streaming endless archives of football games to their data centers while they stroke their chips&beer perceptrons.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Turing Police

Penrose can't into understanding that minds are not immaculate theorem provers but made to chase down eatable rabbit and fuck the neighbor's bitch.

NEXT!

5
3
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

A good sci-fictionary read in the spirit of Stanislaw Lem from back then (i.e. 1986). It might even appeal to Mr Bong.

The Wager by Christopher Cherniak

Abstract

The Portrait Programs Project grew out of hyperinterdisciplinarianism of the famed Gigabase Sculpture Group, in turn stimulated by recent cutbacks in government support for the arts. The National Endowment for the Humanities and the National Science Foundation had jointly funded the Gigabase Sculpture Project to foster the literary/musical genre of composing genetic codes for novel organisms. Later, artists trained in recombinant DNA technology designed massive Brancusi-esque statues of living cytoplasmic jelly. However, Art For Art's Sake objectives of these giblet sculptors were compromised by precautions necessary after discovery of the "Gogol's-Theorem Bomb" that threatened to get loose and jam all DNA replication in the biosphere; not even viruses would have survived.

0
0

Super-heavy element 117 DOES exist – albeit briefly. Got any berkelium handy?

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Re. Island of Stability

What is arxiv

0
0

Evidence-based Tweets will SAVE the WORLD - and your waistline

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

No way this is a real interview

Approvingly citing Che and using "neoliberals" all wrong? It can't happen.

0
0

Microsoft's Azure cloud goes a bit wobbly in West Europe

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Go

They also attack technological cripples in tech autism land that are differently abled. THAT'S UNFAIR!

0
0

10 PRINT "Happy 50th Birthday, BASIC" : GOTO 10

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Re: We can remember it for you wholesale ..

Friday, Mar 19, 2004

“There’s this wonderful outpouring of creativity in the open-source world,” [virtual-reality pioneer Jaron Lanier] said. “So what do they make — another version of Unix?”

[Jef Raskin, who created the original concept for the Macintosh] jumped in. “And what do they put on top of it? Another Windows!”

“What are they thinking?” Lanier continued. “Why is the idealism just about how the code is shared — what about idealism about the code itself?”

Having everything ass-backwards, even 10 years ago. Criticizing what you pretend to stand for.

I hate these people so much.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Horrible Travesty of BASIC @Billy Bob Gascan

There is everything right with interpreted code.

Premature compilation is the root of all inflexibility. It is also an historical accident because machines used to be small and weak.

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: @Fibbles re: Pascal

But as a language, it was strongly disliked by students.

Frankly, this is still the case these days. And judging from cow-orkers, the people who go into computers would like to be able to write working programs with the same attention and care as they put in writing tweets. Frankly, they are in the wrong domain.

The whole compile thing compared to just running it seemed wrong to them.

Of course, and this is why REPL-supporting languages are good.

1
0