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* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

10014 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Poll trolls' GCHQ script sock puppets manipulate muppets

Destroy All Monsters
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Headmaster

"Stop and Thinkst"

Thou hast no spelling reviewer, sad monk?

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The Lambda that ROARED: Amazon unveils event-driven AWS compute service

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Facepalm

Is this really 2014?

So is this, like, a production system for the cloud?

At launch, the service supports writing Lamba functions in JavaScript – specifically, Node.js

Most shitty idea every. Bad client-side language and a worse framework from Sophomore Acme Productions that tries to lift it to a server-side language and just creates problems in concurrency and exception handling ready to snag the poor sods that decided to invest in it.

Proper actor languages? No, we are catering to people who think JavaScript is COOL and STARTUPPY.

Not even once.

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Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'

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Alien

Re: Two Legs

Lack of gravitas.

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Mushroom

Re: Well, I hope they work things out and can sample the comet!

WHERE IS YOUR WHITE WHALE NOW?

Sorry, I mean ... finance IMMEDIATELY a second mission with my dear TAX EUROS instead of feeding them into maw of entitled civil euroserpents (who permanently detect "austerity" == a conspicious failure to upgrade their paycheck for now particular reason)

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Why did men evolve map-reading skills? They were PAID BY BONK - study

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Holmes

Compared with other cognitive differences between the sexes...

such as cultural differences in maths skills

I see the hedging you did there.

Unfortunately, reality won't be denied.

what you would expect if mating was the payoff for travel

We have arrived at the level where NOT mating is the payback for travel, so I'm sure it's gonna even out eventually. Luckily we have electronic maps these days.

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

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Holmes

Re: "most important book"

Mein Kampff is back up in the popular lists too, seriously.

And why not. Pulp fiction is always good, people are reading Hillary's book too etc.

Also: It's either "Mein Kampf" or "Voight-Kampff", do not mix the two.

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Holmes

Re: "most important book"

That's because "Das Kapital" was trashed by Böhm Bawerk even before WWI and only hipsters sporting Che T-Shirts find any redeeming value in that multi-tome work.

Note that Marx conveniently died before managed to finish his Magnum Opus so he never had to deliver on his promise that we would explain eventually how all of the demagoguery culled from a few centuries of communist collectivist dogma and moaning (always ending in tears and people being shot for not following the line to peasant freedom) actually makes any sense.

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Flame

The Bible

Most rectconned book of all times. Rewritten several times and redacted according to prevalent dogma / papal edicts. The older part was about removing kebabs, chosen people being strong for their tribe and relentless hailing of genocide, with some rape throw in. Also possibly written at the time when human consciousness underwent deep remodeling, though that is evidently debatable.

Flaming Bush icon, of course.

P.S. "A Brief History of Time" on 3rd place? Utterly Ridiculous.

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The C++ Programming Language

BLETCH.

I detect purposefully inflammatory, senseless remarks and irreverent trolling.

Or else the IT horizon of dear commentard must be smaller than one of a neutron star.

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GIANT sunspot returns, bigger and belchier than ever before

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Trollface

Helioseismologists - they're a thing - warn of solar flares and coronal mass ejections

Their message is probably followed by "this announcement does not apply to the following countries: Italy"

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BOUNCY BOUNCY: Comet probot Philae landed TWICE

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Paris Hilton

Re: What is the pull of gravity of that rock?

Assume a spherical cowhot fudge sundae with the following physical characteristics:

Mass ~1.0 ×10^13 kg

Mean density ~0.4 g/cm³

This yields a sphere of ~1800m radius if I am not mistaken, so all the mass underneath will attract you with 2 * 10^(-4) N/kg at the ball's surface.

This is not much.

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Paris Hilton

They had to trust their theory!!!!

Magic engineering, how does it work?

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Behold the Lumia 535 NOTkia: Microsoft wipes Nokia brand from mobes

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Facepalm

Re: Finland should consider itself lucky

If they wanted everyone to know it was Finnish, they should have spelled it Nökiä!

Ikea is (originally) swedish.

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Facepalm

Re: Finland should consider itself lucky

I'm sure Americans will learn where Finland is as soon as Putin pops round under the guise of re-unifying Karelia.

Madame Victoria Nuland-Kagan, please go back to your inside-the-beltway psycho grottothink tank.

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Microsoft's Lync becomes 'Skype for Business'

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Headmaster

"raises the prospect of over-the-top calls eating their lunches"

"You actually using that pipe you are paying me for will ruin me!"

That telecom argument didn't make any sense back in 2000. It doesn't now. Stop it.

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Groupon flees from army of angry GNOMES: Trademark bid for 'Gnome' tab scrapped

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Trollface

Change of plan!

So will they now try the Trojan Rabbit manoeuver?

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Patch Windows boxes NOW – unless you want to be owned by a web page or network packet

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Re: Update FAIL (?)

Fair one: I was a little harsh in attacking someone I have never met in my life with some pretty unpleasant vitriol.

It happens to the best of us, especially when in thrall to Microsoft Rage.

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Facepalm

Adobe "security bulletin" ...

NoScript enabled? Blank page! I guess that will fix you, consumer!

"Now the final solution ... shall be applied!"

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Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

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Re: "The genius of Ballmer"

2014: People that can be spotted on facebook are "genius".

Get with the times.

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Mushroom

BORING IS GOOD!!!

Microsoft SHOULD be boring. I want open, working, reliable stuff at reasonable prices not some super-gay-colored SHIT clearly marketed to the ADHD/MOBILTARD generation that needs PIZZAZ and WHEEEE SMILING PEOPLE bullshitand RETARDED HIPSTER C-OF-SOMETHING doing gorilla dances and DIANETICS CONVINCE-O-SPEECHES in public.

OK, Satya, we’ll bite. Boring – but tell us how Microsoft can make them emotionally appealing?

SOD THAT! Emotional appeal can be had at the porn movies. Excitement can be had when watching share tickers (yet another industry that went from BORING to WHEEE!! EXITING!!! for the good of a very few of us.)

NURSE!!!

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Consumer group SLAMS NASA for letting Google rent $1bn 'playground'

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Re: What's so neat about it? @ckm5

That's why all the weed pharmacies in CA are all afraid of the DEA, because pot is still illegal by federal law.

Downvoted for stating the truth.

As that german terrorist once said: "You wanted a miracle? I give you EFF BEE EYE!"

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Facepalm

Why EXACTLY is a CONSUMER watchdog watching what NASA does?

Mangy dog. I would immediately cancel my membership and possibly sue for "misuse of funds to pursue goals not in accordance with stated purpose and causing of rage, great psychological harm and irreparable febrility due to increased blood pressure".

"The lease gives Google unprecedented control of a federal facility to use as its own playground,” said John M. Simpson, director of the body's Privacy Project.

And this a problem how exactly?

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Euro space boffins ready, mere HOURS from flinging Rosetta lander at Comet 67P

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Re: "into a speeding comet"?????

WHAT WOULD LOHAN SAY?

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Headmaster

You have to demonstrate sufficient level of pointy-hairedness first, preferably using a signed affidavit.

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ESA sends back PRE-LANDING COMET CLOSE-UPS

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Re: Cool

I am rather reminded of the Medeiran interior. Very gritty heaps of eroded volcanic crud which somehow look large when seen from afar.

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What kind of generation doesn't stick it to the Man, but to Taylor Swift instead?

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"Songwriters" are citizens who put themselves on exceedingly chiseled pedestals. Without having the fat cat CEO power to justify it.

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Holmes

Moan bitch ... starve?

We need a “change of venue.” I believe the Turtles have shown us the way in their victorious lawsuit against SiriusXM over Sirius stiffing pre-1972 artists on performance royalties.

Missing in all this loquacious outpouring is a reasoned argument why any artist or their descendant should be expected to be paid for anything that happend more than 40 years ago.

Yes, that "punctuated equilibrium" should be changed. Better coypright for only 15 years, how is that?

I am not getting roylaties on my mainframe code from back when either.

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British drones target ISIS for the first time

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Re: Too soon too old, too many old memories ...

No, it's not "déjà vu", it's "perma-vue". That's when they change nothing at all in the Matrix.

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Facepalm

Sharia funhavers working out of a local container?

"escalation"

More like "testing of all gear is on the table".

This story is going to run and run for the next 30 years.

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Italian appeal court clears seismologists of manslaughter

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Facepalm

I would like to see something like this happen to people who are actually RESPONSIBLE for the permacrap of all sort that's going down in the economic, political and ... err ... "surveillance" spheres. But apparently people thing it's more lucrative to go after some random underpaid guy in a lab coat.

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Kryder's law craps out: Race to UBER-CHEAP STORAGE is OVER

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Re: Forgetting

Maybe it's ISIS blowing up libraries?

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Paris Hilton

Re: Seagate eliminated its research group

If you look at the curves of capacity, performance, etc., they began to level off at that time.

Wouldn't that actually mean that the research group started getting no further resultsf a few years earlier? Performance indicators will "level off" once the last ideas have rolled through the production pipeline, which may take some time.

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Has Switzerland cracked the net neutrality riddle?

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Holmes

"natural monopoly that companies in the US have over the infrastructure"

That "natural monopolies" exist outside of the mind of legislators is doubtful. "Natural monopolies" are just code for "a monopoly granted by regulatory law", probably after some solid greasing of political wheels.

For example, from The Myth of Natural Monopol

The eventual creation of the telephone monopoly was the result of a conspiracy between AT&T and politicians who wanted to offer "universal telephone service" as a pork-barrel entitlement to their constituents. Politicians began denouncing competition as "duplicative," "destructive," and "wasteful," and various economists were paid to attend congressional hearings in which they somberly declared telephony a natural monopoly. "There is nothing to be gained by competition in the local telephone business," one congressional hearing concluded.

The crusade to create a monopolistic telephone industry by government fiat finally succeeded when the federal government used World War I as an excuse to nationalize the industry in 1918. AT&T still operated its phone system, but it was controlled by a government commission headed by the postmaster general. Like so many other instances of government regulation, AT&T quickly "captured" the regulators and used the regulatory apparatus to eliminate its competitors. "By 1925 not only had virtually every state established strict rate regulation guidelines, but local telephone competition was either discouraged or explicitly prohibited within many of those jurisdictions."

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GOD particle MAY NOT BE GOD particle: Scientists in shock claim

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Holmes

That would actually be pretty cool

But AFAIK evidence for technicolor particles is as hard to come by as ectoplasm remains after a séance?

P(This is a Higgs boson) is still rather good.

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Names, ages, addresses, SSNs of US postal staff slurped in 'mega-hack'

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Alien

Permanent hackings, access to all areas, the works!

Maybe we have a "deepness in the sky" kind of situation?

I'm not saying it's aliens, but suppose it's actually aliens?

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Someone has broken into your systems. Now what?

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Re: All good stuff but...

You need to generate readable logs first, too.

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FUTURE ROBOTS will EXTERMINATE UK jobs – study

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Terminator

Fifth Generation Computer Project.

Now in Blighty!

But we have one weapon: the predicted brown-outs. Lack of energy will do the robots in.

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TORpedo'd dev dumps Doxbin files after police raids

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Trollface

His site was terminated, along with hundreds of others across the US and Europe, last week as Eeurocops enacted Operation Onymous whicih took down sites like Hydra and Cannabis Road

...evidently after the dear author had partaken of the goods previously sold by the same.

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Yes

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Interstellar: An awesome sci-fi spectacle – just cut the hamminess, please

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Re: The moon.....

No volatiles will make your life hard.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Re: Isn't this the premise of..

Excellent point. By 2042, say we could have AIs that are recognizably human from a Turing-test point of view. Send those out to space: 'be good little von Neumann machines, go forth, and prosper.' Since we created them, we'd be their god. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter (in at least geological time) their god would be dead.

> recognizably human from a Turing-test point of view

Utter Gibberish

> Since we created them, we'd be their god.

More utter gibberish. Either it is intelligent or it behaves like a neurotic religious nutcase or a child. Choose one.

> 'be good little von Neumann machines'

I hope to $DEITY you never get a position of responsibility in engineering. Ever.

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Facepalm

Re: "Gravity" was accurate and realistic? Really?

Shame you snipped the important part then: "as accurately as the plot and limitations of special effects allow"

You do realize that the plot is fully constructed and can be molded around realistic premises in the first place?

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Trollface

Re: Phil Plait hates it

> I can't find my copy of Leighton.

DAT NAMEDROPPING.

> Schwartzchild

Oh no, sorry.

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Facepalm

Re: Why does humanity deserve to survive?

I decline to take my inspiration for saving the world from a science fiction novel, let alone science fantasy, let alone science fantasy quoting a poet who's not sure what he's saying.

That must be one of the most hipster edgy things I have ever heard.

Try 'liberate me ex inferis"

That_is_the_point.jpg

And my latin courses are a bit way back now, and why are you pretending to know latin anyway?

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So did the (Kerr) black hole suck all the oxygen out of the theatre?

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Horizon finds new potential in the sci-fi staple deepsleep tale

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Paris Hilton

Actually...

I don't remember that many tales with cryosleep in it.

The alien franchise yes. 2001, of course, but that was just for a trip of several months inside the solar system. In the "Forever War", there is no sleep, only dreadnoughts driving around at 0.9999c doing "collapsar jumps", which makes the weapons onboard obsolete fast. "Hull Zero Three" has some sleepers but the crew is actually recreated from on-demand, as with Rama. "Use Of Weapons" has a single scene. Stories by Alastair Reynolds have cryosleep which generally morphs into gothic horror (do NOT miss "Galactic North") and bad awakenings (or not), same with "Pandorum" btw.

Anything else?

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Printing Bad: Meth found in laser printer cartridges

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Thumb Up

Re: This doesn't make sense..

Yup, I never fail to stock up at Crazy Johnny's "Meth & Drive" on my weekly way to get mugged at the HP printer supplies shop.

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'Tech giants who encrypt comms are unwittingly aiding terrorists', claims ex-Home Sec Blunkett

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Big Brother

Re: Brain's mush, doc?

Oh, did I mention that there is a NATO member actively helping ISIS?

‘ISIS Sees Turkey as Its Ally': Former Islamic State Member Reveals Turkish Army Cooperation

Yep, better watch the little suburbanites with their crypto.

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Big Brother

Brain's mush, doc?

[W]e should not capitulate to the big communications giants: they cannot be allowed to get away with the absurd idea that they hold no responsibility for what is transmitted on the platforms they provide.

Politicians should also not be allowed to get away with the absurd idea that they can randomly string words together that pop up in their diseased control-obsessed minds and hope to get away with it. It's basically incitement to (fasc|commun)ism of the standard sort, so probably hate speech.

Time for the Fletcher Memorial Home, Blunky. It's not going to hurt one bit.

And "terrorists spread genocide?". I would think if they spread genocide, they are no longer terrorists, they are on the level of state actors.

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Police in U-turn as 'shop a gun-owner' hotline is scrapped

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Holmes

That Danger Mouse feeling

It sounds like the humble boomstick has been upgraded to the domain of "weapons of mass destruction" now?

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