* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

10201 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms

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Windows

Re: Do Apple know...........?

YO! The 80s want their wordplays back.

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Turing biopic with Cumberbatch, Knightley to premiere at London Film Festival

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Re: Does not match!

HUSH!

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Re: Sir

No but you can have the manga instead. Possibly a bit apocryphal though.

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Trollface

Re: Real portrayl?

You may notice that WWII was started to guarantee that the german town of Danzig remained in Poland, but ended with Poland ravaged and handed to Stalin on a platter while the lying liar FDR maintained to the end (which is to say, until the presidential elections were over and had obtained the polish vote) that Poland would be get a dose of freedom and that Stalin had jolly well agreed to this. This was then followed up with operation Keelhaul, about which the less said the better.

Any correlations with current events are totally unintended and no animals are being harmed.

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Re: "Joan Clarke was rather plain,"

LIES!

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MPs to sue UK.gov over 'ridiculous' EMERGENCY data snooping law

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Big Brother

You get a better serving at the PolitFranchise!

“I want to be very clear that we are not introducing new powers or capabilities – that is not for this Parliament. This is about restoring two vital measures ensuring that our law enforcement and intelligence agencies maintain the right tools to keep us all safe.”

Like McDonalds, bland bullshit for undiscerning consumers can now be found worldwide.

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HP's Machine and IBM's $3bn R&D splash – aka how to survive Google

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Devil

Maas Neotek when?

When these guys are done with their Wall Street fellations, expect Asians to step into the breach.

Once the upcoming crash has been weathered of course.

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Attackers raid SWISS BANKS with DNS and malware bombs

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Re: Not so simple really

But Gruyère has no holes.

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Trollface

Delicious Cheese is a Lie!

I got a buffer overrun when I read that.

Clearly you have been coded before the advent of high-level languages and the wide dissemination of security-conscious coding techniques.

The doctor recommends that you better not frequent malword-ridden lowbrow sites like El Reg.

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Hacker claims breach of Wall Street Journal and Vice websites, punts 'user data' for sale

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Gimp

We have always been at war with Eurasia!

Indeed. They are changing the baddie-of-the-week too quickly nowadays; better visit often to keep oneself informed.

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Lads from Lagos turn from 419 scams to basic malware slinging

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Angel

Re: Really?

But then you suddenly feel the irrational need to transfer two thousand five hundred (2500) USD via Western Union money transfer to a lonely lady in the southern lands so that she may buy a plane ticket.

It's magic!

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Engr Ojie Victor

Soon on Stack Overflow?

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Games industry set for $5 BILLION haircut, warn beancounters

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there is a real life

RUMORS!

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Black Hat anti-Tor talk smashed by lawyers' wrecking ball

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Re: Do you really think you can hide?

If you step out of your front door somebody knows what you look like. Get online and someone knows what you've been looking at and browsing for.

Brain meets floor at first sentence.

NEXT!

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Facepalm

Because Not looking into everyone's nether regions == Negligence

Yes, this is 2014.

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Re: Black hat conferences

I raise you a Trilateral Commission!

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Childcatcher

"Further details had not been discussed but Tor Project in a now deleted synopsis they wrote they planned to cover the feasibility and limitations of attacks before detailing how botnet command and control servers, child pornography forums and hidden drug marketplaces like Silk Road have been revealed."

In the best Fred Flintstone voice: "EDITOOORRRRRRR!!!!"

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SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

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Headmaster

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

Sofort mit diesem Geplauder aufhören! LAUT AUFSCHREI!

Lucky the germans had only mastered Hollerith cards back then. The Blitzkrieg would have transformed into a Gammastrahlenausbruchkrieg. Dodged a bullet.

german asuka triumphant.jpg

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ITC: Seagate and LSI can infringe Realtek patents because Realtek isn't in the US

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Holmes

US ITC decides it doesn't have the legitimacy to deal with foreign IP shit.

Film at 11.

Meanwhile US State Department decides that it has the legitimacy to deal with Countries in the Middle of Europe.

Film at 11:30, followed by the Kerry troll show.

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Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab

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Re: Time

Gun control, Boris. Gun control. You are only allowed to own the energy-conserving 15W plasma rifle based on fluorescent lightbulbs.

Game over man. Game over!

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Terminator

Skynet still on timeline, only a little later.

"But the Russians are our friends now!"

"Fcuk you John, you need a lesson in primary atavistic behaviour or politicians. Now listen up: The Skynet funding bill is passed...'

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HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert

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Paris Hilton

Re: Might explain...

So who activated the sniffer?

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Google shows off new Chrome OS look

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Mushroom

Please bring back skeumorphism, all is forgiven.

Only the Knights of Utter Hipster Retardation think that skeumorphism is necessarily bad.

People have all that visual cortex that can usefully applied to grouping semantically related or separating semantically distinct elements via fast analysis of a nice quasi-3D image. Forcing people to pull the same information out of a flat expanse of rioting color is an idea that is just stoopid.

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Paris Hilton

Re: hmmm

Prove that they don't.

Also, using an ad-blocker where a "free" service is being provided is tantamount to stealing.

I don't even know where to place this on a scale from "cognitive dissonance" to "serial neural misfire".

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MARS NEEDS OCEANS to support life - and so do exoplanets

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Paris Hilton

Planets without Endorian Wood Terrorists.

Wasn't there another study that said that having a practically dry planet like Earth would be exceptional, with most planets covered in multi-kilometer deep oceans, as is the case of the Europa for example?

There must be some extreme sailing going on on these blueballs. I would buy a ticket!

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

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Re: Please let this not be true...

Explosions! In SPAAAAAACE!

And Dramatic Emotions!!

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Paris Hilton

How the f*ck do you find a hand on a sand/desert planet before it is eaten by sandtrout?

That hand must also have travelled a LONG time through space, so I suppose this all plays at a time that is near the moment of utter heat-death of the universe?

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Pirate

Re: Stormtrooper turned good guy?.

News you don't want to hear on the intercom system:

"The Death Star has emerged from hyperspace at Gazalderaan."

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Orange spent weekend spamming customers with TXTs

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Mushroom

Incontinent fire?

Must be Putin's fault!

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Unbridled BONKING and rampant ROGERING at YOUR office!

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Holmes

Re: And the next headline...

Acceptable to whom?

You sure can get them on HuffPo:

"A Passenger Believed To Be On The Downed Malaysian Airliner Posted This Chilling Photo Before Takeoff"

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Chrome browser has been DRAINING PC batteries for YEARS

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Mushroom

Re: Sometimes, nobody inside cares what *you* think

No? Well don't complain about the lack of functionality then.

Listen up, a*****e!

One of parties involved sits on a stash of a few million bucks of "foundation money" that it is rubbing its body parts all over.

The other does not and probably has a day job.

Care to speak up again?

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Intel teaches Oracle how to become the latest and greatest Xeon Whisperer

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Alien

Re: Smells like copy-protections

If I buylicense software, I pay the software company for the SOFTWARE.

If I get more cores, then I pay the hardware company for the CORES.

The SOFTWARE company asking me to pay more for actually using the CORES, which they didn't develop or otherwise had a hand in bringing to market should immediately result in management of said company being run out of town on rails, possibly chased by antitrust regulators.

... manager of Intel's Data Center Group Diane Bryant said in a canned quote.

Any relation with Matt?

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Manic malware Mayhem spreads through Linux, FreeBSD web servers

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Trollface

Re: Tired admin

And 'Matt Bryant' seems to have had a few downvoting groupies for quite some time!

That's because he nasty. And generally wrong.

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Re: No PHP and dropping.

You nasty bugger!

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Paris Hilton

The fock?

How the fuck does one just "drop a PHP file onto the server" which is then executed?

Do people have ExecCGI on wherever?

The mind boggles.

Also, looks like MAYHEM_DEBUG should be set to cause the dropper to exit(0). Do it.

And what does human.txt have to do with all of this

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MYSTERIOUS Siberia CRATER: ALIENS or METEOR not involved, officials insist

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Re: It's global warming alright!!

Earth is actually Kobe Beef?

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Windows

Re: The Beginning of the Beginning

Yeah, but frankly, I don't care anymore.

I will be sitting on the front porch with my dog, drinking beer and observing the neighbors.

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Re: Not an explosion

Yep. Read "The Forge Of God"

It begins!

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Alien

envmod? Mister David Vincent, I presume?

"On peut vous aider?"

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Devil

Re: Shai-Hulud of the tundra?

JIHAD!!!!

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The mark of a primitive weapon.

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Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 claimed lives of HIV/AIDS cure scientists

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Holmes

Re: So sad

You don't need to feel hollow, just off-base (at least for now) because MANPADs are definitely NOT involved here. They wouldn't be able to reach the plane. You need the east-side equivalent of a Patriot missile system (a very complex weapon system), coincidentally fielded (with chasing radar active on the 17th) in large numbers by Ukraine I hear (via rt.com, natch). Though this is being denied by both Ukraine and the "Obama Administration", which has somehow become the very protectivce chaperone for the Ukrainians and their unsavory right-wing antics, with the affirmation that Ukraine's anti-aircraft capabilities are actually non-existent. Ho-hum.

To counter some extreme levels of "Putin Bad" retardation the MSM is currently duly exhibiting (they know who butters they bread after all), the best résumé can be found here and here.

Note that Hillary already confirmed that it was Putin who dunnit. She certainly is a powerful medium. We should have deployed her on USS Vincennes...

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Microsoft's Xbox TV studio OBLITERATED

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Good!

grumpy_cat.jpg

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Will the next US-EU trade pact prevent Brussels acting against US tech giants?

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Big Brother

Formerly, your gov. sucked - you moved to the US. Today, there is no recourse.

companies to sue governments for lost profits

Small company:

The government bleeds you to death. Do you want to affront HOLDER [No / Certainly Not]?

Big crony megacorps:

"Hey HOLDER, we want to have a BIG payout. Yeah, put this on the "lost profits" line. Thanks."

"No problem. Do you want to have some free money from the FED, too? We got a new container to push tonight."

"Nah, we are good. Say, how is that new crisis coming you guys are stirring up... any chance we could get in on the action?".

I wonder whether the small print says that the EU has to impose sanctions on itself whenever Uncle Sam feels slightly offended.

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Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

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Re: Does look very lumpy.

It looks like something made in art school for kids in papier-maché. Clearly a single piece.

A small "clear space" would not be viable, these things are pushed and pulled by their environment.

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VMware wants IM clients to hookup with calendars and databases

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That sounds like a nice system and maybe one that will give VMware a licensing revenue stream.

No it won't. This is stuff that is nowhere near new - and frankly exhibiting me-too levels of prior art.

Time to dump stock.

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OK, EU chiefs, 3 years of copyright wrangling - let's get it sorted. Now this white paper... DOH!

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WTF?

"the right of ordinary people to be paid"

That's a new one.

Next: "the right of ordinary people to walk on the moon"

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Microsoft's Black Thursday: XBox Live goes down as XBox Studio canned

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Holmes

Clearly this XBox thing is just resting.

Incidentally, I got a few warnings about Microsoft Exchange Online status today, though as I could check my mail, I didn't bother to parse what was being said. Something about engineers working hard.

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Microsoft swings axe at 18,000 bods in its largest ever round of layoffs

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Paris Hilton

Re: Hitting my adopted city - Oulu.

Time for other companies to move in, shurely?

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Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!

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Trollface

Re: Now we know ?

Yahoo Mobile Mail has been impossible for me to sign into on either Blackberry or Android for some days now.

Is it the asian females which distract you?

I can understand...

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