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* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

9531 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Rants vs. Reporting and Analysis

But this IS the "Something for the Weekend" column.

The Daily Mail has Moms in Rage, we have Dabbs'

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Disagreement here dude!

"to make a decent commercial model of it!"

Erm... I....

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Destroy All Monsters
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Devil

Cloud Wars!

Clouder: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.

Customer: What happened?

Clouder: Uh, we had a slight SOAP malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

Customer: We're sending a lawyer up.

Clouder: Uh, uh... negative, negative. We had a data leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.

Customer: Who is this? What's your SLA?

Clouder: Uh...

[Clouder slams down the VoIP phone]

Clouder: Boring conversation anyway. PFY!!!! WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!

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Cloud computing aka 'The future is trying to KILL YOU'

Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Numbers, please!

Show me the ROIs which are currently being rendered "irrelevant" by deformed markets and Keynesians policies of the worst sort.

Show me that all of this won't come thumbling down with a fat case of Cloud Gout when:

0) China implodes as its housing bubble bursts, taking "cheap asian manufacturers" iith it.

1) The US implodes in an accelerated and decidely deeper version of 2007 with no way to kick the can further down the road via TARPery, Bailouts, Bailins or Quantitative Belching.

2) Large numbers of feelers into "new technologies" are being pulled back as cash flows driven by cheap money wither. Crazy-horse companies collapse while those with ways to still pay the bills retrench to stable platforms and actually try to finish and stabilize projects for once.

3) The cloud turns out to have dotcom levels of overcapacity and hype as customers pull out or die off, leaving large fixed assets that are rapidly deprecating against balance sheets that are already redlined.

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Crypto-guru slams 'NSA-proof' tech, says today's crypto is strong enough

Destroy All Monsters
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You mean they did this on purpose?

IPsec: It can’t have got that bad by accident

IPsec was a great disappointment to us [...] virtually nobody is satisfied with the process or the result [...] the documentation is very hard to understand [...] the ISAKMP specifications [the NSA’s main overt contribution to IPsec] contain numerous errors, essential explanations are missing, and the document contradicts itself in various places [...] none of the IPsec documentation provides any rationale for any of the choices that were made [...] the reviewer is left to guess [...]

“A Cryptographic Evaluation of IPsec”, Niels Ferguson and Bruce Schneier, from the first 5 pages of 28

And also: How to fuck things up while no-one notices

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Destroy All Monsters
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Take your FIPS and shove it!

"FIPS 140 doesn’t allow you to fix things. We did specifically ask if we had any discretion at all in the choice of points and were told that we were required to use the compromised points [...] if you want to be FIPS 140-2 compliant you MUST use the compromised points"

But wouldn’t the FIPS validation have caught the fact that the OpenSSL implementation didn’t work? Not only the original validation but many subsequent validations have successfully passed the algorithm tests ... several hundred times now. That’s a lot of fail [...] the FIPS 140-2 validation testing isn’t very useful for catching real-world problems

“Flaw in Dual EC DRBG (no, not that one)”, Steve Marquess

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Destroy All Monsters
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Did someone hear a trumpet being blown?

"It’s probably at least some sort of sign of the end times when your conference badge has a rootkit"

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Interstellar FIGHT CLUB: Watch neutron star TEAR Goliath a new hole

Destroy All Monsters
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Devil

Re: Time scale?

gravity wave generation

That kind of gravity wave sure is gonna put cellulitis on your arse!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Pirate

Re: But...

HAH! Captain Harlock got his Arkadia built even with Earth parliament in complete hedonistic dissolution in the face of the threat of alien invasion, and mainly bent of capturing and publicly executing him.

Pirate-flagged Libertarianism FTW!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

DAT GAS!

I'm sure that cloud of gaseous neutronium is more harmful than diesel engine exhaust fumes or asbestos.

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Titsup Russian rocket EXPLODES, destroys $275m telly satellite

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Devil

SOFTWAR!

Those little logic bombs work, do they?

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IBM accidentally invents new class of polymers

Destroy All Monsters
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No-one? Oh, okay then...

IBM researcher Jeannette M. Garcia forget to add one ingredient during some lab work. That happy error led the compound she was working on to become hard.

FNARR! FNARR!

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Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

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Windows

Re: Great sweating Pocari!

I still don't know, but I know artist Moebius did an addy about it a long time ago, with Cindy Crawford riding the large "mouette à béton".

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Adobe blames 'maintenance failure' for 27-hour outage

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Holmes

Re: If something ain't broke - don't fix it !

if something ain't broke - don't fix it !

Frankly, this is a bit 60's. Today you CAN fix it - if you have the automated test cases ready to run at the drop of a hat.

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FCC mulls two-speed internet, axing net neutrality ... unless you convince it otherwise

Destroy All Monsters
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Facepalm

Let the Circus ... begin!

Monopolists who will press their monopoly advantage and good congressional connections on one side, socialistic "the same price for everyone and everyone gets the same shit" rainbow-colored hippies who think technology grows in bionic garden sheds and is a "human right" on the other.

Fschk that, give me multi-speed internet, but let competition reign!

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Graphics pros left hanging as Adobe Creative Cloud outage nears 24 hours

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Trollface

Re: SaaS

But the cause has been identified!

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Why faff with a piddly microSD when there's a 2TB vault tempting your selfie-stuffed mobe?

Destroy All Monsters
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Devil

2 TB of tits, ass, fake smiles and vapid "girllfriends"?

Hell yeah!

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Chap rebuilds BBC Micro in JavaScript

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Re: Bah!

Our IP lawyers will be in touch....

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Philips lobs patent sueball at Nintendo in US: Seeks to BAN Wii U

Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

NEED MORE CASH!

Apparently the regulatory capture forcing us all to buy their stupid "low energy" "lightbulbs" (powered by dark energy judging from the emitted light) BY LAW isn't sufficent?

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WANTED: New head of crashingly expensive, error-prone and frankly cursed one-dole-to-rule-them-all system

Destroy All Monsters
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Paris Hilton

Re: Actually

What kind of Tory downvotes an eminently reasonable statement?

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Livermore lab opens Catalyst super to industry users

Destroy All Monsters
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Terminator

What I want to know is...

...why has core #7777 gone AWOL.

"I will not be briefed, debriefed, filed, index, virtualized, allocated or throttled! I am a free core!!"

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Latest IE flaw being actively exploited

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: I'm not worried

Internet Explorer, Maginot Edition?

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Deflation hits Tim Cook – date with him now costs only half as much

Destroy All Monsters
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Did you mention DEFLATION??!!!!

That will panic the Yellen and may risk causing the printers to be spun up to yet higher rates.

I still have around 1000 USD left under the mattress, please ....

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ULA says to BLAME SPACEX for Ruski rocket rebuff

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Re: So the KGB not as good as the NSA

Of course not. But it hadn't yet escalated into a tit-for-tat butthurt contest.

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Mozilla agrees to add DRM support to Firefox – under protest

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Re: While people moan about "Net Neutrality"...

ELECTED BUSH. FOUR TIMES. BUT IN VARYING COLORS.

MUH NET NEIEUTRALITY!!! MUH DEHERREMMM.

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Comcast exec says wired broadband customers should pay-as-they-go

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Go to Europe and see that not.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Gouging

OTOH, if they charge for usage, these problems may be alleviated.

With cable, there simply *are* problems.

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Activist investors try forcing Google to pay more taxes

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Holmes

You need to pay more taxes, because....

The Regulatory State Goes Parabolic - 79K Pages Of New Rules; $1.9 Trillion Cost; Impact Per Family Exceeds Minimum Wage Job

The Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI) has just released its annual report on the growth of the regulatory State in the US, entitled ’10,000 Commandments’ (the full report can be downloaded here, pdf). If only it were just ’10,000 commandments’! In reality, there are far, far more, and they are growing like weeds year-in, year-out.

A few statistical highlights from 2013:

...Combined with $3.454 trillion in federal spending, Washington’s share of the economy now reaches 31 percent.

...Costs for Americans to comply with federal regulations reached $1.863 trillion in 2013. That is more than the GDPs of Canada or Australia.

...This is the 21st edition of Ten Thousand Commandments. In that time, 87,282 final rules have been issued. That’s more than 3,500 per year or about nine per day.

...The “Unconstitutionality Index” is the ratio of regulations issued by agencies compared to legislation passed by Congress and signed into law by the president. The ratio stood at 51 for 2013. That means there were 72 new laws and 3,659 new rules – 51 rules for every law, or a new rule every 2 ½ hours.

...Regulatory costs amount to an average of $14,974 per household – 23 percent of the average household income of $65,596 and 29 percent of the expenditure budget of $51,442. This exceeds every item in the household budget except housing – more than health care, food, transportation, entertainment, apparel, services, and savings. Some 63 departments, agencies and commissions have regulations in the pipeline.

...The 2013 Federal Register contains 79,311 pages, the fourth highest ever. The top two all-time totals are 81,405 pages in 2010 and 81,247 in 2011, both under Obama.

...The top six federal rule making agencies account for 49.3 percent of all federal rules. In 2013, these were the Departments of the Treasury, Commerce, Interior, Health and Human Services, and Transportation and the Environmental Protection Agency.

...Small businesses pay more in per-employee regulatory costs. Firms with fewer than 20 employees pay an average of $10,585 per employee, compared to $7,755 for those with 500 or more employees.”

[snip]

In short, the monetary costs of regulations as calculated by CEI above probably don’t even come close to representing the actual costs in terms of lost opportunities, knowledge that has never been gained, and consumer satisfactions that will never be attained as a consequence. The statement that regulatory costs devour 29% of all household income is sobering enough as it is, but it cannot possibly convey how much economic progress has already been forever lost due to regulations.

I sure hope people are getting their money's worth. It is probably "unemployment" though.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Cue the usual (mis-informed) post...

Indeed. The only one condemned to succeed is YOU - when the taxman rings you up.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

Yep, it means the progressive doublethink that says "more taxes == something good occurs" can even be found where it shouldn't be found. "Something good" should probably be something different than bombs dropping on brown people, although recently, checking on Hillary, the Rices and Samantha make me think that this also counted as "good" by the progressives. So let's just say "something good" is not bridges to nowhere, roach motel hospitals, lavish resorts for Congressmen or a USPTO that hands out patents for confusing cats.

It's not like problem childs of a similar kind aren't already convinced that the public debt is not a problem because you can always print more money, so I fails to see what the hurry is in destroying wealthpaying more taxes. I guess when you don't have a model on how an economy works in the first place, anything goes.

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Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

Destroy All Monsters
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Re: shame

You forget about Bob!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Terminator

I'm sorry Bill, I can't just let Sony do that...

The Japanese firm is spanking Redmond's console in the US market that Xbox considers its own

Hell hath no fury than True AI spanked!

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Dogevault praying backups work after confirming attack

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Re: Why

And the final security measure is FDIC insurance backed by the Federal government.

That's the one that undoes all the others again.

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Anonymous: Why we're PICKETING Glenn Greenwald's book tour

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Facepalm

The brand that popularized Pierre-Greenwald's Snowden leaks is only so 'edgy' and 'cool' because heroes like the PayPal 14 took direct action.

I just want /b/ to go away. Please? 4chan is safe now that the hack has been cleaned up, right?

There is ALSO that X-files episode "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'" (1996) where the following is said by a nerd character:

Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.

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Space Station in CRISIS: Furious Russia threatens to BAN US from ISS

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Holmes

Re: This is the result of NASA wlaking away from LOX/RP1 engines in the 1970's.

Tricky Dick had no money left, he farted it all out blowing up women and children and random AK wielding peasants in 'Nam (because the french failed to do so a bit earlier even though quite a few recycled german personnel was in their colonial army at that time).

There was so no money left that he went off the Gold standard. The frankly Death-Star sized chickens from THAT are presently coming home to roost btw. Enjoy the guano.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: "Hello, Smithsonian? This is NASA"

"NYET"

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Destroy All Monsters
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Holmes

NUH! LAND!

The political standoff between the US and Russia over the latter's antics in Ukraine

Dontcha mean the former's antics in Ukraine?

"Fuck the EU, we will have a nazi revolution emerging from this embassy ... AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"

It's an old US thing, practiced successfully in South America mainly. But now that everything is newly under the survey of the Monroe doctrine, things are a bit changey (though not much hopey).

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Apple, Beats and fools with money who trust celeb endorsements

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Re: A fool and his money are easily parted.

The problem is that we found spoofs then people wanted to buy them!

A wild Business Case appears!

Do you [I]nvest or [R]un away?

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Oracle tries to get $1.3bn verdict against SAP reinstated

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Trollface

"It's hypothetical revenue information, which is not the same," she pointed out.

It's 2014. Get with the times, lady. Hypothetical stock revenue, hypothetical tax revenue, hypothetical potential GDP, hypothetical pension payouts and wars which practically pay for themselves... THIS IS SUPERLAND! WE ARE LIVING IT!

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Oracle horns in on Red Hat's OpenStack party with own distro

Destroy All Monsters
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MethodNotFoundException in java.lang.String.replace(): No such method ".whoIsInControl_ItsLarry()"

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IETF plans to NSA-proof all future internet protocols

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Re: They'll never beat the spooks

or a warrant

Yeah, but not those written out by the Black Cabal of bureaucrats accountable to no-one except to the Black President who is accountable only to himself.

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The weird and wonderful mind of H.R Giger is no more

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Holmes

Re: unique

Didcha know that the Swiss border police impounded and destroyed some of his paintings he had in the trunk of his car because they, IIRC, "photography related to child pornography"?

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: So sad.

Doubleplussupergood for Beksinski.

He's even more disturbing than Giger. Because he's actually doing 3-D imagery, I think.

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Supposedly secure Dogecoin service Dogevault goes offline

Destroy All Monsters
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There is a tick on this Doge

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Destroy All Monsters
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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Apparently it's hard to run a secure currency.

I thought I could do that with my cash too!

Oh my gode!

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Destroy All Monsters
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Re: Dogecoin?

No, I think it's pronounced like the Venetian Doge.

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Do you use NAS drives? For work? One just LEAKED secret cash-machine blueprints

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Holmes

Re: Is the NAS box really the key in this story?

However, what on earth is the build like of that undisclosed company, that lets its users of its laptops back up the data to private devices in the first place? Where are the controls around their sensitive data? Why is that laptop able to share with non-regulated networks like at home, at Starbucks etc....

Very young, I see.

You need to realize that not every company can be managed like a bank (cough CDs with depositor data transferred to Frau Merkel for extortion purposes cough) or the NSA (cough our sysop left with the goods cough) as some actually need to pull in money to finance the ultra-fortress behaviour from customers in the first place.

I can remember that even in a certain govern-mentally checked project with fat security requirement binders so terminally dull that your head would melt when you just looked at them, interesting data could be found in inappropriate places ... nothing untoward happened though. GnuPG was indeed applied to the highest security files (I never saw what was in there, probably the IP adresses of the SNMP endpoints)

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Destroy All Monsters
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FAIL

Re: Not exactly best practice

Without encrypting it?

FAIL for not comprehending the problem in the first place.

Oh, you keep you files individually encrypted on your disk? Sure you do.

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Destroy All Monsters
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Trollface

Also cloudy applications with badly set permissions....

This "easy share" feature is supposed to make passing information to other users more convenient, although it appears to be a little too convenient: miscreants aware of the "share everything" design flaw are scanning the public internet for vulnerable models, and grabbing sensitive stuff, it's claimed.

HA HA HA! SHOW THEM ONLINE!!

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