* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Google: The Internet of Things to become the Internet of ADVERTS ON YOUR THERMOSTAT

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You are living in The Twilight Zone!

Do not adjust your applet!

JJ Abrams and Star Wars: I've got a bad feeling about this

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Re: Movies last too long

You could run them between the ads.

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They killed Jar Jar! The bastards!!

It's not about Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks, it's the FACT that the Jedi tries to be nice to them that matters

Jedis are Space Progressives? The mix of self-infatuation and direction-by-mantra exhibited in the low-numbered episodes are starting to make sense now.

Duke Leto wants to enter the council? He's a 1%er, throw him out!

Beating on Jar Jar Binks, is like beating on a mentally retarded kid, it just show how much of an asshole you are.

COMEDY GOLD!

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Re: Is this The Register?

Just leave and watch Plinkett's reviews on Star (Wars|Trek)

EBay, you keep using the word 'SECURITY'. I do not think it means what you think it means

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Re: Odd happenstance upon login....

"In order to achieve true enlightenment, first, you have to realize the truth: There is no message!"

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"I can't define a tat bazaar but I know one when I see one"

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Trollface

Re: Agreed

Well, even the IEEE doesn't into getting that "passwords" usability right, so why should ewwbay and failpal?

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Trollface

Re: Quick!

There is a sad country music song in there somewhere.

Senate decides patent reform is just too much work, waves white flag

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Big Brother

Nothing new from the rented horses on the hill

Meanwhile, a disquieting message on your cereal box:

Real Median household income peaked way back in 1999 at $56,000 and by 2012 it was down 9%—an unprecedented decline. It goes without saying that Washington’s Keynesian ministrations on the money printing and national debt front didn’t much help.

In fact, the Fed’s balance sheet has expanded from $450 billion to $4.4 trillion during that period or by nearly 10X. Likewise, the national debt has nearly quadrupled to $17 trillion during the same period.

Well, all this monetary and fiscal profligacy did apparently help in one precinct: Namely, the Washington beltway where median household income reached its all-time high in 2012 (the last year available) of $65,200 and undoubtedly continues to rise. By contrast, 30 states reached their peak real household incomes more than a decade ago, and some reached that point more than two decades back.

The provinces have thus not kept pace with the imperial capital. Not by a long shot.

Oregon hit with federal subpoena over failed healthcare website launch

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Paris Hilton

Re: seems a little hypocritical...

Does it even work yet?

The primary requirement for any project is to ascertain that there should be some kind of goal (different from being wank material for progressives over how good they are being to everybody and being a figleaf for Big Insurance to rake it in).

I think that first line in the analysis sheet is still open.

At least the servers have been bought, a website has been set up and bills for all this have been issued.

US giant NBC 'leaks' PRIVATE Amazon keys in Github Glenn gaffe

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Trollface

> 2014

> 20 years of unceasing regulation resulting in serial failures across the board (It keeps raining Federal Register; 1772 pages this week.)

> Believing that regulation brings the goods except for bureaucrats

It's like the Cargo Cult of the Bureaucratic Witch Doctors. The hoi polloi wants to believe, the regulated ones are going crazy, the potlatch goods comes to the ceremony leaders.

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Mushroom

We need a "Cloudwatch" icon here

Please!

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Re: Umm (2)

What in God's Green EARTH were they thinking to put the AWS Access secrets and keys on Git Hub in the FIRST PLACE?!?!

"Mwahahahaha!!! Mwahaha! CURSED! YOU ARE ALL CURSED!! I SAY!!!"

We see a crooked finger resolutly ress "enter" to confirm "git push" under the otherworldy green glare of a phosporescent glass TTY.

An immense thunderbolt rents the night, illuminating the baleful scene. The subsequent thunder blows the control room to smithereens.

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Re: Umm

Pegged at Ron Paul Doom Level 3, no less!

Waterfront flats plan for IBM's UK HQ as housing market goes bananas

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Devil

Hmmmm...... housing!

"But, as he said, this is a well-targeted scheme and it has helped tens of thousands of people get on the housing ladder and to have mortgages.

The shadow chancellor, Ed Balls, said the Help to Buy scheme was simply too high: "We've said it should come down much closer to average house prices. A number below £400,000 would make much more sense than £600,000 which is far too big a house price for the taxpayer to be guaranteeing mortgages. "

Jupiter's Great Red Spot becoming mere pimple

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Re: Heat and food + wind to stir it up

I tend to agree. "Rendezvous with Medusa", "As on a Darkling Plain" etc. Space, Time and Free Energy. Let the computation ... begin!

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Re: ...

But the zero-G effects were pretty bad. They couldn't decide what parts of the Leonov were zero-G and which not.

And don't get me started on MOMENTUM ELIMINATION when stopping the centrifuge.

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Devil

From the desk of that guy who is Secretary of State

The People of the United States of America strenously object to this interstellar attempt at intimidation and WILL forcefully confront any further alien activity alluding to the use of non-diplomatic solutions to the European Question.

The right of the USA to land on Europa is unassaible and not up for discussion.

Indeed, interstellar arrest warrants have already been issued by the Federal Court of Lower Bumfuck against the following aliens: Grwz-kronb, Liob-Harr, TTS-56 and Lllllluurrinnnnnurin The Elder.

Siri, what do you make of IBM's Cognea gobble? Oh, we can't print THAT

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"My information may well be of use to you, Stalker"

I can't wait

I have had it with the conversation in the office which seems to be coming from a mid-00s game on endless repeat.

Uncivil engineering: US society skewers self-published science

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No-one expects...

...the civil engineering.

Chip and SKIM: How dodgy crypto can leave shoppers open to fraud

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Trollface

Re: Absolute rubbish

This paper is scaremongering...

Ah, the sickly sweet smell of VISA's PR department is wafting in.

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Paris Hilton

Who decided to use that word as the name for a transaction id?

Well-Known-Tabloid readers equipped with credit cards?

Beam me up Scotty: Boffins to turn pure light into matter

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Re: On the flip side

No, that's not that at all. That is about creating LIGHT. Here, you want to create FROM LIGHT.

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Re: Cheez

MATERIALISM EVERYWHERE!

EU phone home! Cloudy transatlantic cable coughs, gags, chokes

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Black Helicopters

Let unmarked helos...

...power up

US authorities name five Chinese military hackers wanted for espionage

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Facepalm

Re: Here's a pretty good take what this is all about.

One word: jobs. Cyber-espionage costs U.S. companies around $100 billion every year, according to a report from the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS).

Yeah well, I can make up about 5 farty statistics before breakfast, too.

I wonder why "jobs" are not being talked about when the Chinese are financing the US by buying shitty treasuries while bleeding themselves dry exporting goods they had better make for their internal market?

Political arguing, I guess. Soundbites, stupidity and talking points.

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Paris Hilton

Re: The last time the US confronted China on spying, they brought out Snowden.

Not sure whether you should get your head examined or whether you are getting paid to write such drivel?

Stock and awe: Top City biz takes £32m hit after software upgrade axed

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Devil

Re: It can happen anywhere

You can't tell. May well be freshly printed money i.e. essentially money inflated out of your pocket.

WHOMP! There it is: IBM demos 154TB tape

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Re: Tape is dead!!!

...but it has to hurtle down the highway otherwise it is just archival storage.

Software 'appointed to board' of venture capital firm

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Re: MATCH FACTOR: 100%

Only after the new swimming pool has been installed and the customer appropriately fleeced.

Then it's just like "Deal WIth It!" (Puts on sunglasses)

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Terminator

MATCH FACTOR: 100%

"I need your boots, your clothes and your pension scheme!"

Bitcoin blockchain allegedly infected by ancient 'Stoned' virus

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Big Brother

Regulation is what will keep Wall Street down. Oh wait...

the increasing regulatory attention the crypto-currency is receiving

Indeed, once "regulators" show up, you know the pigs are there, fearing to be be possibly kept away from a good feast.

Real, hovering SPEEDER BIKE can be YOURS for cheaper than a house

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Big Brother

Ewoks have been declared "wood terrorists". If Vader hadn't had such a soft-on-terror core, he would have agentoranged their hide off a long time ago. They are fair game, I say!

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Re: Pointless.

go watch the bit in "Zero Dark Thirty" where the stealth chopper gets too close to the wall and star

Protip: These are not documentaries.

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Paris Hilton

Re: It is not russians which you need to be afraid of

a shoulder launched Strela missile in an apartment block

MY KIND OF COUNTRY!

But these are the goods that the CIA DOESN't want the Syrian "rebels" to have (as officially stated two days ago) lest they blow up a few of "our" Airbus Lard Transporters on final approach (can't have that, there may be discontentment among the people). You are telling me you can find these in slavic apartment blocks?

There was even some relief that Ghaddafi's arsenal, rapidly disappearing into the neighborhood, only included the vehicle-mounted version which apparently cannot be readily converted to be man-portable.

Russia or even the US look distinctly unarmed

I hear gun control in Russia is rather restrictive? Well, it may not be enforced of course.

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Re: Blades of Death

There goes the mobe again!

BELENG BELENG BELENG FRUPT!

Cloud computing aka 'The future is trying to KILL YOU'

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Re: "It's the end of history I tell ye"

Deja Vu: That's when they change the number of zeros on a dollar bill.

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Re: Numbers, please!

Some numbers, actually!

The Brutal, Beneath-the-Surface, Slo-Mo Crash of Stocks

One place to find some of them grouped together is the Cloud Index maintained by VC firm Bessemer Venture Partners. There are 37 publicly traded “cloud” companies in the index. The list below shows the top 23 by market cap, ranging from Salesforce with $31 billion in market cap to LogMeIn with just under $1 billion. The average decline from their individual 52-week highs is 41.1%. A serious crash.

Image

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Holmes

Numbers, please!

Show me the ROIs which are currently being rendered "irrelevant" by deformed markets and Keynesians policies of the worst sort.

Show me that all of this won't come thumbling down with a fat case of Cloud Gout when:

0) China implodes as its housing bubble bursts, taking "cheap asian manufacturers" iith it.

1) The US implodes in an accelerated and decidely deeper version of 2007 with no way to kick the can further down the road via TARPery, Bailouts, Bailins or Quantitative Belching.

2) Large numbers of feelers into "new technologies" are being pulled back as cash flows driven by cheap money wither. Crazy-horse companies collapse while those with ways to still pay the bills retrench to stable platforms and actually try to finish and stabilize projects for once.

3) The cloud turns out to have dotcom levels of overcapacity and hype as customers pull out or die off, leaving large fixed assets that are rapidly deprecating against balance sheets that are already redlined.

World loses mind: Uber valued at TEN BEEELLION DOLLARS, Pinterest pegged at $5bn

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Big Brother

SEEMS THAT THE MUSIC HAS ACTUALLY STOPPED!

Momo Meltdown Singes San Francisco Housing Bubble

San Francisco’s favorite baby, Twitter – so favorite that the city’s taxpayers were shanghaied into granting it tens of millions of dollars’ worth of payroll tax exemptions so that it would move from one building to another a few blocks away, rather than move to another city whose taxpayers might have been shanghaied into an even worse deal. Well, Twitter is the locally best known among these momentum fiascos, down 56% from its high in less than five months. Hope has wheezed out of it.

The Bay Area is full of these companies that are part of the big money transfer machine that is screeching to a halt. Take FireEye, in Milpitas, next to San Jose. It sells network and cloud security products, one of those formerly white-hot sectors. These outfits follow the same pattern: immensely hyped pre-IPO funding rounds with ever sillier valuations, an even more hyped IPO (last September), a Wall-Street instigated run-up into the stratosphere, and then a giant hissing sound. It’s down 72% from its high in March and trades well below its IPO price. Like Twitter and most of the others, it’s still way overvalued. In this manner, spread over hundreds of companies, many billions in fake wealth have evaporated in just a few months.

That brutally bursting stock bubble is wreaking havoc on IPO and momentum-stock hype, and on the necessary flow of money from all over the world to the Bay Area. The whole construct begins to teeter. And it’s already taking down housing in San Francisco.

That magnificent February, when the median home sold for $945,000, something terrible was already under way: sales were stalling. Turns out, only a few wealthy people could afford to buy a median home at this price, but wealthy people – even those freshly minted millionaires – don’t like to live in median homes, which is a two-bedroom apartment in San Francisco. And so in March, the price of the median home dropped to $937,500, according to DataQuick. The hot air had begun hissing out of the San Francisco housing bubble. And in April, the price dropped again to $922,500. While that is still up 13.2% from prior year, it’s down 2.4% from just two months ago.

That this drop came in March and April is particularly nasty. This is the time when home prices rise. Even during the down-years of 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 when the housing bubble in San Francisco was imploding, home prices religiously rose in March and April! So this downdraft is very special; and an early indication that this fabulous boom is once again turning, as it always and inevitably does, into a bust.

Well, if we finagle World War III for August, in time for the WWI centenary, all of that could be reinflated, right? KEYNESIANS ALWAYS WIN!

Kaspersky warns of imposter mobile security apps

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Paris Hilton

Groping in the dark, my marks they will not heal!

If only there were something like a "trademark" and also a way to sign apps using something like a "secret key"....

So you reckon Nokia-wielding Microsoft can't beat off Apple?

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Trollface

Re: Strange analysis

At least there would be no 'stab in the back' legends being invented.

S'truth. It was actually aliens. Aliens allied to the Justified Ancients of Zeon.

Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

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Re: Re birds taking dumps

I have often drunk piss on courses

WHAT!

Boffins run iOS apps on Android hardware

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Holmes

Re: But the Other Way Around

You need to read up on how patents work.

Like proving that there is no bug in your code that will send PASSENGER PLUNGING TO THEIR DEATH, SCREAMING, there is no way to prove that no patents have been violated ("violating patents", a nice form of unspeak come to think of it...)

the only way to run them if it's proven that Android violates Apple patents!

Samsung won't care about Yankees claiming ownership of idea space.

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Re: "Diplomatic functions leverage per-thread personas,"

It is only going to hell if a COFFINBOFFIN utters the above statement, darkly.

Cloud computing is FAIL and here’s why

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Re: Rants vs. Reporting and Analysis

But this IS the "Something for the Weekend" column.

The Daily Mail has Moms in Rage, we have Dabbs'

Crypto-guru slams 'NSA-proof' tech, says today's crypto is strong enough

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You mean they did this on purpose?

IPsec: It can’t have got that bad by accident

IPsec was a great disappointment to us [...] virtually nobody is satisfied with the process or the result [...] the documentation is very hard to understand [...] the ISAKMP specifications [the NSA’s main overt contribution to IPsec] contain numerous errors, essential explanations are missing, and the document contradicts itself in various places [...] none of the IPsec documentation provides any rationale for any of the choices that were made [...] the reviewer is left to guess [...]

“A Cryptographic Evaluation of IPsec”, Niels Ferguson and Bruce Schneier, from the first 5 pages of 28

And also: How to fuck things up while no-one notices

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Take your FIPS and shove it!

"FIPS 140 doesn’t allow you to fix things. We did specifically ask if we had any discretion at all in the choice of points and were told that we were required to use the compromised points [...] if you want to be FIPS 140-2 compliant you MUST use the compromised points"

But wouldn’t the FIPS validation have caught the fact that the OpenSSL implementation didn’t work? Not only the original validation but many subsequent validations have successfully passed the algorithm tests ... several hundred times now. That’s a lot of fail [...] the FIPS 140-2 validation testing isn’t very useful for catching real-world problems

“Flaw in Dual EC DRBG (no, not that one)”, Steve Marquess

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Did someone hear a trumpet being blown?

"It’s probably at least some sort of sign of the end times when your conference badge has a rootkit"

Interstellar Fight Club: Watch neutron star tear Goliath a new hole

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Devil

Re: Time scale?

gravity wave generation

That kind of gravity wave sure is gonna put cellulitis on your arse!